The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I always get reflective at this time of year and now I'm 2 years at Easter in Alanon, I look at the person I have became. I am much happier in my skin these days, I don't feel as helpless as I did or as alone. I have a growing relationship with a higher power and its so comforting to know that its not all my fault and up to me to make it better.
There are certain things that I thought I 'got' but I am actually just 'getting' if you know what I mean.
'Let it begin with me' - I never really got what that one meant, I thought it meant before I judge another person stop and look at my own shortcomings and I suppose it does but it means more to me now because I think it means when I am feeling unhappy or there is a crisis then it is me that can make any changes that will make my life better, its not about outside.
Also, someone said that 'think, think, think' can be literal - so thoughts one and two wont be the right ones but that third thought is where the truth is at. I think this program is all about truth, I cant believe how important the truth of me has became to me. I want to know more and I think there is still lots more to know, there are hidden insecurities and layers of myself that I need to get to the bottom of.
I am so much less judgmental these days, when I see some poor soul, with that tell tale sign of drink and drugs that have ravaged their face, I have a much more compassionate view of them, I understand that they have a disease and I also feel more hopeful for them because I think well some people do get out of it and make a life for themselves.
Maybe the next steps for me for the new year is to look for those hidden parts or parts I have still to face with a proper step 4. Also, maybe I will look at doing some more service work or voluntary work, I get why people with a program go into caring professions. I think I could be moving towards having something to give, I'm not there yet, lots to do but maybe 2014 is the year.
I am so grateful for this program, you know that word grateful was not in my vocabulary before. Anyway, thanks for listening.x
What was it like a year ago el-cee? We were both a pile of goo. Now look how far we have come. Everyday gets better and better. When one day doesn't go so well.....we now get right back up on that horse and make it better the next. How grateful can we be?
I now know why we help each other....I understand. Everyday somebody ( newcomer ) comes in and in a place we were not too long ago. Now we can help in our little ways. Nothing big but our ESH through experience just might be huge to somebody. Nobody needs to be alone......
Thank you my friend.....you made me feel good about myself. One step at a time.....
Betty: Great Picture....your so cute
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I know Cathy, its amazing how far we have came.I have watched you detach with love and I am trying, although, I have my son here with me at the moment since he got his injury and so far so good, I hate saying that, its like tempting fate. I am no longer trying to control him, I have set boundaries that at the moment he is respecting. I have taken back so much of my own power, I own my thoughts now and I feel that if or when the time comes that I really need to let go like you have I think I will have the strength, sometimes I feel hypocritical talking about letting go when I haven't done it completely myself yet but every time I talk about it or give my suggestions I do feel its getting me there little by little. Thanks for being here.x
(((El-cee))).....I love your posts; they are insightful and to the point. You recovery work and commitment to discovering your truth is obvious and it is fun growing here together living in different parts of the world. I said many years ago when I entered al anon, I was excited to see who I would be in the years to come, and that still holds true. I hear that excitement in you...thank you for this post.
