Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hopes314 · hopes314

I want to cry but the tears don't flow. My kids wonder why I don't cry about dad. I don't even know what is real. I hear my voice sayings things that I can't believe I am saying. I used to be nice and happy nowI am not sure what to feel. My husband said he quit drinking. I don't know what to believe because of...

Popcorn · Popcorn

So I have been actively going to al-anon meeting for a little over a month 3 days a week and I feel that it has really helped. I feel stronger and better about my self. I feel like I am in a better place. I tried al-anon a couple years ago and I just wasn't ready but I feel now I am. I'm actively looking for a sp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am sooo grateful .. I just heard from my atty and what we will be doing is on 7/1 I will be divorced .. the Judge is over the delays. STBAX has NOT provided any financials and we are just trying to go over what we can and base the offer about what we know about .. soooo it's just going to take some time and I will...

missmeliss · missmeliss

He is like a baby. Things have deteriorated so fast, I guess they probably haven't but i wasn't aware before, i was too busy reacting to see the whole picture. He lies on his mattress in his underpants all day playing computer games surrounded by empty bottles and shouts at me. It's my fault he lost his jo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All I have not tried to make contact with my son and he in turn has not called since the sentencing. I feel this guilt that I should reach out but again I don't want to. He hasn't reach out to me by calling so I have let it go. My thought is leave him alone to digest what is happening and not try...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

As some of you know I have done 12 years of home hospice private care and now I am glad to get to spend the time with my very own sponsor. She is an amazing lady and was released to go home and finish out her life on her terms. Her husband asked me to be a part of the care team and I am honored. She helped me through...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Today, my assistant and I finished cleaning two huge rooms in a local church building in the inner-City neighborhood where I hosted the oldest of my organization's children's programs. We've been working steadily in the humidity and heat throwing away dried up paint, sparkly glue, the lists of n...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So he hit me one too many times. He took my phone, smacked me in the head and would't let me leave the property, OMG I called the police and they took him away. Nothing makes sense. Nothing. He snarled and hated me so much as they took him, he was all sensible and woulnd't even look at me, OMG what have I done....

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been thinking a lot about how I am on the fence here "waiting" for A to get sober. At this point we are selling our house to move overseas. But in all reality, I am just ready to pay off our bills and to find an apartment while HE moves. That decision is still not a commitment though, cause I (...

1lostmom · 1lostmom

I have been doing so much better. I have been focusing on me and my daughter, going to meetings, hanging out with friends and spending time with family. I have been staying out of his drama, not instigating, de-escalating, backing off, letting things go instead of pushing And getting so much bett...

andromeda · andromeda

Well, my AH sat me down and had the, "I'm an alcoholic and you were right" talk. He admitted to his insanity, he praised me for being stubborn with my program and for holding the home and our lives together and for not kicking him out. He has found a sponsor and says he is ready to jump fully in t...

Truth · Truth

Lawyer says just say no. Starting to feel a little better. I got firm instructions from the lawyer. So of course this is going to escalate but I will be prepared.

Minneha · Minneha

My adult daughter (39) has been floundering all her life. In and out of programs, jail, the usual. She is currently living in a homeless shelter in a bad part of town. She called me and wanted me to give her some money I owe her so that she can take a bus to the Cape to stay with her father. She has her thing...

Pamela1954 · Pamela1954

It is time for me to get my 34 year old son out of the house. He relapsed. Said he would be out in a month, Detoxed at home and now I am finding strong evidence he is using again. He is very volatile and defensive when I ask him to leave. I am determined for him to leave by Monday. I want to write him a letter...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well things have not got any better to much has happen since my last update . 2 weeks ago my A ex started to harass me again on the phone . I could not take any more verbal abuse I could not take any more how I ruined the marriage . I have a RO on him and I not once made a phone call to police all these times he bother m...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Got it all out and now to move on and look for the better in all this. There can be "BETTER" I know this because my HP told me so because he loves me and my son. ((( hugs )))

bail01 · bail01

I started dating him over 3.5 years ago and after about 6 months I had a feeling he had a drinking problem. It caused a lot of fights and I guess I just didn't want to admit that he actually was. About 2 years later we bought a house together and 8 months later he admitted that he was an alcoholic and addicted t...

ksmommy80 · ksmommy80

I met the alcoholic/drug addict in April 2013. I didn't know he was what he was until it was too late. I got pregnant two months into the relationship and "tried" to do the right thing by sticking with him. I'm 34 years old and was very careful. It really was an accident. In the process, I c...

Venera · Venera

I am strongly thinking about separating with my AH. What should I consider? I read that separation won't solve my problems, I need to be in al anon for at least 6 month before making any changes. I have not even started al anon yet. We are selling the house now, and will be out of it in 8 days. My dad is coming f...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57785803/alanon-step-8/

Truth · Truth

I feel relaxed and sleepy. It feels so good rather than feeling hyper-alert. It is so peaceful.

vakick · vakick

Apologies for the length of this post. I've been married to my alcoholic husband for almost 5 years. When we met, he drank, but nothing like now. He has anxiety, panic disorder, and a host of physical problems (fatty liver, chronic and bloody diarrhea, possible colitis, etc). He's a stay at home f...

John · John

Hi everyone, Previously the post at the top of the board would be based on the date it was started. Now, I have changed it so that when a post is replied to, it is moved to the top of the board, so the reply doesn't get lost at the bottom of the board and can be seen and replied to by both the original poster, as w...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I just want you to know that I hope this trial period on the reversal of the way the board works gets extended into a forever period. I am basically lazy and I am delighted I no longer have to scroll down the pages looking for highlighted posts. I love that posts are immediately available to read or to se...

Jerry F · Jerry F

from the clouds and drabness of life so that I can see the beauty all around me. Sometimes I need to see beauty which is totally unexpected to shake my senses into a gasp and a WOW!! Here is just one of those I got in the last day. I've got absolutely no sense of negative in me now. HP whispered "S...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well it's over. My son got 2.5 years and the judge was mad at him because what he said about his education, hard life and everything....my son thought that would help but it didn't....she gave him what the prosecutor wanted. She told him he should have known better being such a smart person. Why he con...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Well I have noticed my barn gate and front gate have been latched different two times.... Then someone decided my caretakers should not be living in their new fifth wheel....Many people have to leave their homes and move into their rv's. Someone made up a craigslist post as me, saying they had thirty s...

el-cee · el-cee

I decided to change my avatar to embrace my feminine side, do you like my picture? She was the only feminine or sexy chicken I could find, who would have thought there was a shortage of feminine chickens? Anyway, I want to put recent events behind me and remain grateful to be a member of this fellowship an...

likemyheart · likemyheart

It has taken me a while to determine exactly what "I" think and feel about the essay posts of late - see if you follow me here and I'll try to make my thoughts clear. I had two easy babies 14 years apart. Once I ate cauliflower and broccoli and gave one of them colic (I was nursing) and discovered t...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Well he is far from a hen but does love to strut around the hen house! He is quite beautiful and sweet as a lamb! No he is not A. But I love him anyway! (c:

intoit · intoit

Let me preface this by saying I am an artist and have been seriously for over the last decade. My creativity has been less than stellar for the last 5 years BUT Ever since I've been gong to al-anon I have learned so much about what I was needlessly carrying around with me. It is NOT my responsibility and s...

karma13 · karma13

I just want to say I am here to share my recovery, I am not here to pick other people apart. If my opinion differs I may state that. I'm feeling like things have gotten really ugly around here the past few days and I am wondering how that might appear to a newcomer that needs our help? Where is God in all this? w...

tortuga · tortuga

many times before and early in recovery I was thinking: 'why me? why us, why do I think so much, why do I ask so many questions..why did I realize, why can't I just ignore, get over ..why why why?' I found what happened to us/me so unfair. I liked the self-pity and I liked my sense of entitlement, i liked my...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I had a pretty frustrating night last night and today. It has been 2 or 3 mo since I saw my alcoholic exbf , And I'll say it has been pretty peaceful and calm!! I do not miss his alcoholism!!! But I do miss the real him. We haven't talked, and he called me Sunday to see how I was doing and tell me he really misses m...

neshema2 · neshema2

I just got a new workbook in the mail "a workbook for healing adult children of alcoholics" by Patty McConnell I think in view of recent events, I need to take a step back...reflect...work this book...sponsor is healed enough from her shingles to work w/me on it....I want to take a big loo...

Truth · Truth

I just have to say after months of not "knowing" what to do I finally feel pointed in the right direction. I got a call from the shelter. I am on the waiting list for the support group. I start the individual counseling soon. My security system is getting installed on Friday. I would like to tha...

ShirleyV · ShirleyV

I have been living with my partner for almost 3 years, now. Whilst I Kew he was an alcoholic when I met him he was holding down a job and had a 4 beers a day rule. In the past 2 years work has dried up, he works in the building industry, so spends more time at home. Little by little, he has started drinking more. I...

Luiza · Luiza

After an ok Sunday as a family when he drank but didn't show signs of drunkness, everything crumbles again. He just came drunk from work, asked me if I was ok and I was in silence. Asked me if he could have a hug and a kiss and I said NO. Asked why I was upset: - Because you are drunk. - But I am just trying to provi...

Venera · Venera

Have a 10 year anniversary already booked in 2 weeks to Mexico. Drinking situation was much better when we planned this trip. last december when we went as a family, the AH was drunk half of the trip and we had to stay away from him most of the time. I guess that somehow changed things and for 4 months he was n...

Venera · Venera

As if it wasn't enough of my AH losing his job, all the moving issues etc he is drinking again. Well this time it got worse. Since he wasn't in any condition to take care of kids I had to go to work with them, stay a few hours and then take my work home. Finally after taking care of everything I was putting kids t...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

it's worse than the merry-go-round.

NLM · NLM

HELP! I just don't know what to do anymore! a very long story I will try to downsize. Son is 39, a month agoh is wife left(another man) and he has been drinking alot since although he says he has always had a drink or a few drinks after work for the last few years. He drinks about a liter most days. I went with hi...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Today is Monday, the beginning of the week, where you set out your plans for the week. I sure would like to set out my plans for my month. There is a year long college class that is offered by my church and the deadline is in a few weeks. I have an opportunity to see the founder of a company (this new business th...

Tasha · Tasha

Yesterday I was startled by some of the things I read here about a certain poster who shared an article he wrote - and then I just burst out laughing! What a silly life we create and live, trying to control our controlling nature! LOLOLOL As a person affected by an alcoholic father and a codependent mot...

Sam813 · Sam813

So today is my brother's 1 year sober! I'm so happy and proud of him, he is doing great. He is the reason I started alanon and coming to this board. Sadly, although my brother is sober, ever since I became pregnant with my 1st child last year, I've noticed my husband has been increasing his drinking. H...

John · John

While I truly feel that the subject of Essay's has already gotten more attention than it should have because it took time and attention away from the newcomer and others in need of our time and attention, several people have PM'd me and asked that I be willing to copy my response to the thread about Relat...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

There is a man at one of the Al-Anon meetings I used to go to who was very maniplulative and a jerk to be honest.. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with person's such as this? Thank you.

milkwood · milkwood

When I voice an opinion on anything it gets discounted. So I don't say anything. When I said that an action hurt my feelings, I was told 's*** happens'. This afternoon AH said that our relationship counsellor had told him that affairs often happen when the spouse is pregnant or has recently lost a love...

John · John

"Honey, I am so so sorry I said you were a stupid idiot, I didn't mean it as a news flash, surprise or anything like that, I honesty thought you already knew! So, that's my side of the street... Thinking a stupid idiot would have already known something before I told them... I'm really sorry."

Beatrice · Beatrice

"When you allow the wrong people in your house, stuff will come up missing Like: Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Faith. Wishing you Peace and Blessings

missmeliss · missmeliss

Sometimes I could swear that every single thing I do to try to improve my situation or "do the right thing" is met with such opposition from the universe that I might as well give up. I mean really, sometimes, you rise to meet every challenge and get to the finish line and get struck by lightnin...

PP · PP

I don't know how to type this out, so I will be thinking as I type. I have a few friendships that maybe aren't really friendships. Maybe I am not being a good friend, maybe I don't know what a good friendship consists of, I don't know, but this is my struggle lately. I have one friend in particular that I s...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So, I am trying really hard not to beat myself up. I do it so well! I have been taking martial arts for 5 Years. Started in my 40's. Today I went to a tournament. Was my first one with this school. The young guy running our competition was clueless. He always had a slight look of confusion on his face. He was in...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, after coming to a certain amount of acceptance about the way my relationship with my AH is, I started to wonder about some pretty specific things. Obviously, I want to live my life as much as possible, and I don't want to let his issues hold me back. One thing we were going to do together was learn to r...

New user name · andromeda

Hi all, this is Ilovedogs. I decided to set up a new user name and connect it to my personal email, instead of the old one which was connected to my joint email that I share with AH. I have an update, too, and I'm feeling more and more like I'm being pulled to make a real drastic change. AH was traveling this...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Now my AH is back into liquor again. Back into being belligerent again. Back into making stupid decisions '"because of the alcohol". He is having himself a pity party. He is soooo tired, poor me I haven't slept for 48 hours. (cause he drank all night and we had guests to entertain all day). an...

Jerry Froggie · Jerry Froggie

On Relationships Your relationship with others does not depend on the other person. Your own altitude toward life in general determines how others see you. A positive attitude instills confidence of you in others. Refusing to put the other person on the defensive makes them feel safe around you....

oldergal · oldergal

It seems when I have vented about someone else (alcoholic son) it turned out to be taking someone elses agenda! Regardless if it was my son or not, it was another human being. Then when I really thought about it further I wouldn't have had that vent on my mind if I would have never expected anything with in...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing well today. If you can indulge me for a moment, I'd like to share about my day. This morning, we had another planning meeting for the intervention..it is going well. After which, I went food shopping and out to lunch with my AM. We both had a really really good time.....

Lyne · Lyne

I was just emailing my sponsor, and realized that for years, I think I begged my spouse to spend time with me. Her priorities were never our marriage, and it is with the help of alanon, that I am breaking my codependency on her. Not that I will be great at this anytime soon, but I know that I can, actually I...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What is real anymore?i am insane! (Preview) I want to cry but the tears don't flow. My kids wonder why I don't cry about dad. I don't even know what is real. I hear my voice sayings things that I can't believe I am saying. I used to be nice and happy nowI am not sure what to feel. My husband said he quit drinking. I don't know what to believe because of...	hopes314	14	669	Jun 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	Dating An Active Drinker (Preview) So I have been actively going to al-anon meeting for a little over a month 3 days a week and I feel that it has really helped. I feel stronger and better about my self. I feel like I am in a better place. I tried al-anon a couple years ago and I just wasn't ready but I feel now I am. I'm actively looking for a sp...	Popcorn	7	718	Jun 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Start Praying now .. (Preview) I am sooo grateful .. I just heard from my atty and what we will be doing is on 7/1 I will be divorced .. the Judge is over the delays. STBAX has NOT provided any financials and we are just trying to go over what we can and base the offer about what we know about .. soooo it's just going to take some time and I will...	SerenityRUS	4	335	Jun 13, 2014 by Green Eyes
	the albatross (Preview) He is like a baby. Things have deteriorated so fast, I guess they probably haven't but i wasn't aware before, i was too busy reacting to see the whole picture. He lies on his mattress in his underpants all day playing computer games surrounded by empty bottles and shouts at me. It's my fault he lost his jo...	missmeliss	10	377	Jun 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	I need to ask about feelings (Preview) Good Morning All I have not tried to make contact with my son and he in turn has not called since the sentencing. I feel this guilt that I should reach out but again I don't want to. He hasn't reach out to me by calling so I have let it go. My thought is leave him alone to digest what is happening and not try...	Cathyinaz	19	930	Jun 13, 2014 by hotrod
	Doing hospice for my sponsor (Preview) As some of you know I have done 12 years of home hospice private care and now I am glad to get to spend the time with my very own sponsor. She is an amazing lady and was released to go home and finish out her life on her terms. Her husband asked me to be a part of the care team and I am honored. She helped me through...	Breakingfree	11	448	Jun 13, 2014 by neshema2
	Saying goodbye with gratitude (Preview) Today, my assistant and I finished cleaning two huge rooms in a local church building in the inner-City neighborhood where I hosted the oldest of my organization's children's programs. We've been working steadily in the humidity and heat throwing away dried up paint, sparkly glue, the lists of n...	grateful2be	14	501	Jun 13, 2014 by neshema2
	So I called the cops. (Preview) So he hit me one too many times. He took my phone, smacked me in the head and would't let me leave the property, OMG I called the police and they took him away. Nothing makes sense. Nothing. He snarled and hated me so much as they took him, he was all sensible and woulnd't even look at me, OMG what have I done....	missmeliss	38	940	Jun 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Doing nice things for me is all in relation to A's bad behavior. (Preview) I have been thinking a lot about how I am on the fence here "waiting" for A to get sober. At this point we are selling our house to move overseas. But in all reality, I am just ready to pay off our bills and to find an apartment while HE moves. That decision is still not a commitment though, cause I (...	sadsusie	8	405	Jun 13, 2014 by el-cee
	Hurting (Preview) I have been doing so much better. I have been focusing on me and my daughter, going to meetings, hanging out with friends and spending time with family. I have been staying out of his drama, not instigating, de-escalating, backing off, letting things go instead of pushing And getting so much bett...	1lostmom	4	401	Jun 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Bring on the recovery roller coaster (Preview) Well, my AH sat me down and had the, "I'm an alcoholic and you were right" talk. He admitted to his insanity, he praised me for being stubborn with my program and for holding the home and our lives together and for not kicking him out. He has found a sponsor and says he is ready to jump fully in t...	andromeda	24	518	Jun 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Lawyer says.... (Preview) Lawyer says just say no. Starting to feel a little better. I got firm instructions from the lawyer. So of course this is going to escalate but I will be prepared.	Truth	11	313	Jun 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	perspective needed (Preview) My adult daughter (39) has been floundering all her life. In and out of programs, jail, the usual. She is currently living in a homeless shelter in a bad part of town. She called me and wanted me to give her some money I owe her so that she can take a bus to the Cape to stay with her father. She has her thing...	Minneha	1	225	Jun 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Advice needed (Preview) It is time for me to get my 34 year old son out of the house. He relapsed. Said he would be out in a month, Detoxed at home and now I am finding strong evidence he is using again. He is very volatile and defensive when I ask him to leave. I am determined for him to leave by Monday. I want to write him a letter...	Pamela1954	4	466	Jun 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Update A went on a binge (Preview) Well things have not got any better to much has happen since my last update . 2 weeks ago my A ex started to harass me again on the phone . I could not take any more verbal abuse I could not take any more how I ruined the marriage . I have a RO on him and I not once made a phone call to police all these times he bother m...	Wisdom67	7	527	Jun 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	I have stopped crying (Preview) Got it all out and now to move on and look for the better in all this. There can be "BETTER" I know this because my HP told me so because he loves me and my son. ((( hugs )))	Cathyinaz	12	503	Jun 12, 2014 by Rose50
	Marrying an Alcoholic (Preview) I started dating him over 3.5 years ago and after about 6 months I had a feeling he had a drinking problem. It caused a lot of fights and I guess I just didn't want to admit that he actually was. About 2 years later we bought a house together and 8 months later he admitted that he was an alcoholic and addicted t...	bail01	21	628	Jun 12, 2014 by bail01
	Really need support :*( (Preview) I met the alcoholic/drug addict in April 2013. I didn't know he was what he was until it was too late. I got pregnant two months into the relationship and "tried" to do the right thing by sticking with him. I'm 34 years old and was very careful. It really was an accident. In the process, I c...	ksmommy80	6	355	Jun 12, 2014 by John
	Separation? (Preview) I am strongly thinking about separating with my AH. What should I consider? I read that separation won't solve my problems, I need to be in al anon for at least 6 month before making any changes. I have not even started al anon yet. We are selling the house now, and will be out of it in 8 days. My dad is coming f...	Venera	11	675	Jun 12, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Step 8 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57785803/alanon-step-8/	hotrod	2	380	Jun 12, 2014 by hotrod
	Wow feeling relaxed... And sleepy (Preview) I feel relaxed and sleepy. It feels so good rather than feeling hyper-alert. It is so peaceful.	Truth	5	276	Jun 12, 2014 by el-cee
	He says I'm responsible...am I?? (Preview) Apologies for the length of this post. I've been married to my alcoholic husband for almost 5 years. When we met, he drank, but nothing like now. He has anxiety, panic disorder, and a host of physical problems (fatty liver, chronic and bloody diarrhea, possible colitis, etc). He's a stay at home f...	vakick	11	515	Jun 12, 2014 by el-cee
	Slight change in message board format... Please read. (Preview) Hi everyone, Previously the post at the top of the board would be based on the date it was started. Now, I have changed it so that when a post is replied to, it is moved to the top of the board, so the reply doesn't get lost at the bottom of the board and can be seen and replied to by both the original poster, as w...	John	17	726	Jun 12, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	I'm lazy - note to John (Preview) I just want you to know that I hope this trial period on the reversal of the way the board works gets extended into a forever period. I am basically lazy and I am delighted I no longer have to scroll down the pages looking for highlighted posts. I love that posts are immediately available to read or to se...	grateful2be	6	369	Jun 12, 2014 by Jill
	I need to take breaks (Preview) from the clouds and drabness of life so that I can see the beauty all around me. Sometimes I need to see beauty which is totally unexpected to shake my senses into a gasp and a WOW!! Here is just one of those I got in the last day. I've got absolutely no sense of negative in me now. HP whispered "S...	Jerry F	15	499	Jun 12, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	I can't stop crying (Preview) Well it's over. My son got 2.5 years and the judge was mad at him because what he said about his education, hard life and everything....my son thought that would help but it didn't....she gave him what the prosecutor wanted. She told him he should have known better being such a smart person. Why he con...	Cathyinaz	15	633	Jun 11, 2014 by Jerry F
	Harrassment ugh! (Preview) Well I have noticed my barn gate and front gate have been latched different two times.... Then someone decided my caretakers should not be living in their new fifth wheel....Many people have to leave their homes and move into their rv's. Someone made up a craigslist post as me, saying they had thirty s...	Debilyn	5	439	Jun 11, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	My new image (Preview) I decided to change my avatar to embrace my feminine side, do you like my picture? She was the only feminine or sexy chicken I could find, who would have thought there was a shortage of feminine chickens? Anyway, I want to put recent events behind me and remain grateful to be a member of this fellowship an...	el-cee	8	449	Jun 11, 2014 by el-cee
	What the Essay Posts brought to mind (Preview) It has taken me a while to determine exactly what "I" think and feel about the essay posts of late - see if you follow me here and I'll try to make my thoughts clear. I had two easy babies 14 years apart. Once I ate cauliflower and broccoli and gave one of them colic (I was nursing) and discovered t...	likemyheart	18	822	Jun 11, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Introducing Rocky (Preview) Well he is far from a hen but does love to strut around the hen house! He is quite beautiful and sweet as a lamb! No he is not A. But I love him anyway! (c:	Debilyn	3	240	Jun 11, 2014 by Breakingfree
	freedom to create (Preview) Let me preface this by saying I am an artist and have been seriously for over the last decade. My creativity has been less than stellar for the last 5 years BUT Ever since I've been gong to al-anon I have learned so much about what I was needlessly carrying around with me. It is NOT my responsibility and s...	intoit	6	396	Jun 11, 2014 by intoit
	Prayers for the boards/ how I'm feeling (Preview) I just want to say I am here to share my recovery, I am not here to pick other people apart. If my opinion differs I may state that. I'm feeling like things have gotten really ugly around here the past few days and I am wondering how that might appear to a newcomer that needs our help? Where is God in all this? w...	karma13	20	728	Jun 11, 2014 by PP
	Grateful today! (Preview) many times before and early in recovery I was thinking: 'why me? why us, why do I think so much, why do I ask so many questions..why did I realize, why can't I just ignore, get over ..why why why?' I found what happened to us/me so unfair. I liked the self-pity and I liked my sense of entitlement, i liked my...	tortuga	3	232	Jun 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	the joys of alcoholism (Preview) I had a pretty frustrating night last night and today. It has been 2 or 3 mo since I saw my alcoholic exbf , And I'll say it has been pretty peaceful and calm!! I do not miss his alcoholism!!! But I do miss the real him. We haven't talked, and he called me Sunday to see how I was doing and tell me he really misses m...	giraffe13	6	496	Jun 11, 2014 by PP
	time for some heavy sponsor work w/my workbook (Preview) I just got a new workbook in the mail "a workbook for healing adult children of alcoholics" by Patty McConnell I think in view of recent events, I need to take a step back...reflect...work this book...sponsor is healed enough from her shingles to work w/me on it....I want to take a big loo...	neshema2	8	457	Jun 11, 2014 by milkwood
	Finally feeling in the right direction.... (Preview) I just have to say after months of not "knowing" what to do I finally feel pointed in the right direction. I got a call from the shelter. I am on the waiting list for the support group. I start the individual counseling soon. My security system is getting installed on Friday. I would like to tha...	Truth	7	251	Jun 10, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	at my wits end (Preview) I have been living with my partner for almost 3 years, now. Whilst I Kew he was an alcoholic when I met him he was holding down a job and had a 4 beers a day rule. In the past 2 years work has dried up, he works in the building industry, so spends more time at home. Little by little, he has started drinking more. I...	ShirleyV	18	859	Jun 10, 2014 by Green Eyes
	It's unbelievable... (Preview) After an ok Sunday as a family when he drank but didn't show signs of drunkness, everything crumbles again. He just came drunk from work, asked me if I was ok and I was in silence. Asked me if he could have a hug and a kiss and I said NO. Asked why I was upset: - Because you are drunk. - But I am just trying to provi...	Luiza	19	426	Jun 10, 2014 by John
	Do you guys go on vacation with AH/AW? (Preview) Have a 10 year anniversary already booked in 2 weeks to Mexico. Drinking situation was much better when we planned this trip. last december when we went as a family, the AH was drunk half of the trip and we had to stay away from him most of the time. I guess that somehow changed things and for 4 months he was n...	Venera	8	553	Jun 10, 2014 by Debilyn
	Getting worse and worse (Preview) As if it wasn't enough of my AH losing his job, all the moving issues etc he is drinking again. Well this time it got worse. Since he wasn't in any condition to take care of kids I had to go to work with them, stay a few hours and then take my work home. Finally after taking care of everything I was putting kids t...	Venera	12	492	Jun 10, 2014 by Luiza
	I think I will stay off this :-) (Preview) it's worse than the merry-go-round.	Cathyinaz	6	370	Jun 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	alcoholic son (Preview) HELP! I just don't know what to do anymore! a very long story I will try to downsize. Son is 39, a month agoh is wife left(another man) and he has been drinking alot since although he says he has always had a drink or a few drinks after work for the last few years. He drinks about a liter most days. I went with hi...	NLM	13	875	Jun 10, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Feeling conflicted. I have household/personal decisions to make. (Preview) Today is Monday, the beginning of the week, where you set out your plans for the week. I sure would like to set out my plans for my month. There is a year long college class that is offered by my church and the deadline is in a few weeks. I have an opportunity to see the founder of a company (this new business th...	sadsusie	14	3902	Jun 10, 2014 by el-cee
	Thoughts on the core of our spiritual program: Humility (Preview) Yesterday I was startled by some of the things I read here about a certain poster who shared an article he wrote - and then I just burst out laughing! What a silly life we create and live, trying to control our controlling nature! LOLOLOL As a person affected by an alcoholic father and a codependent mot...	Tasha	31	748	Jun 10, 2014 by Debilyn
	Crushed (Preview) So today is my brother's 1 year sober! I'm so happy and proud of him, he is doing great. He is the reason I started alanon and coming to this board. Sadly, although my brother is sober, ever since I became pregnant with my 1st child last year, I've noticed my husband has been increasing his drinking. H...	Sam813	8	339	Jun 10, 2014 by Sam813
	Okay, okay... I'll do it. Essays? Articles? (Preview) While I truly feel that the subject of Essay's has already gotten more attention than it should have because it took time and attention away from the newcomer and others in need of our time and attention, several people have PM'd me and asked that I be willing to copy my response to the thread about Relat...	John	5	2730	Jun 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	Manipulative People (Preview) There is a man at one of the Al-Anon meetings I used to go to who was very maniplulative and a jerk to be honest.. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with person's such as this? Thank you.	phoenixmagicgirl	9	459	Jun 10, 2014 by neshema2
	Not so happy today (Preview) When I voice an opinion on anything it gets discounted. So I don't say anything. When I said that an action hurt my feelings, I was told 's*** happens'. This afternoon AH said that our relationship counsellor had told him that affairs often happen when the spouse is pregnant or has recently lost a love...	milkwood	25	669	Jun 9, 2014 by John
	The Amends not to make... (humor) (Preview) "Honey, I am so so sorry I said you were a stupid idiot, I didn't mean it as a news flash, surprise or anything like that, I honesty thought you already knew! So, that's my side of the street... Thinking a stupid idiot would have already known something before I told them... I'm really sorry."	John	6	366	Jun 9, 2014 by Truth
	Thoughts (Preview) "When you allow the wrong people in your house, stuff will come up missing Like: Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Faith. Wishing you Peace and Blessings	Beatrice	4	230	Jun 9, 2014 by Jerry F
	A purge or something. (Preview) Sometimes I could swear that every single thing I do to try to improve my situation or "do the right thing" is met with such opposition from the universe that I might as well give up. I mean really, sometimes, you rise to meet every challenge and get to the finish line and get struck by lightnin...	missmeliss	17	613	Jun 9, 2014 by pinkchip
	What are healthy friendships? (Preview) I don't know how to type this out, so I will be thinking as I type. I have a few friendships that maybe aren't really friendships. Maybe I am not being a good friend, maybe I don't know what a good friendship consists of, I don't know, but this is my struggle lately. I have one friend in particular that I s...	PP	24	647	Jun 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Gold medal?! Oops, sorry. We meant bronze... (Preview) So, I am trying really hard not to beat myself up. I do it so well! I have been taking martial arts for 5 Years. Started in my 40's. Today I went to a tournament. Was my first one with this school. The young guy running our competition was clueless. He always had a slight look of confusion on his face. He was in...	Newlife girl	6	471	Jun 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	My own life - how far to take it? (Preview) So, after coming to a certain amount of acceptance about the way my relationship with my AH is, I started to wonder about some pretty specific things. Obviously, I want to live my life as much as possible, and I don't want to let his issues hold me back. One thing we were going to do together was learn to r...	SpiderArcana	6	436	Jun 9, 2014 by Mimi3
	New user name (Preview) Hi all, this is Ilovedogs. I decided to set up a new user name and connect it to my personal email, instead of the old one which was connected to my joint email that I share with AH. I have an update, too, and I'm feeling more and more like I'm being pulled to make a real drastic change. AH was traveling this...	andromeda	17	754	Jun 9, 2014 by andromeda
	I know you feel guilty and no I'm not going to say its okay. (Preview) Now my AH is back into liquor again. Back into being belligerent again. Back into making stupid decisions '"because of the alcohol". He is having himself a pity party. He is soooo tired, poor me I haven't slept for 48 hours. (cause he drank all night and we had guests to entertain all day). an...	sadsusie	15	653	Jun 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	On Relationships ( 1 2 ) (Preview) On Relationships Your relationship with others does not depend on the other person. Your own altitude toward life in general determines how others see you. A positive attitude instills confidence of you in others. Refusing to put the other person on the defensive makes them feel safe around you....	Jerry Froggie	76	1718	Jun 9, 2014 by pinkchip
	How are taking someone else's agenda and venting and expectations alike? (Preview) It seems when I have vented about someone else (alcoholic son) it turned out to be taking someone elses agenda! Regardless if it was my son or not, it was another human being. Then when I really thought about it further I wouldn't have had that vent on my mind if I would have never expected anything with in...	oldergal	5	586	Jun 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	A very good day today :) (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing well today. If you can indulge me for a moment, I'd like to share about my day. This morning, we had another planning meeting for the intervention..it is going well. After which, I went food shopping and out to lunch with my AM. We both had a really really good time.....	phoenixmagicgirl	5	316	Jun 8, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	not begging anymore (Preview) I was just emailing my sponsor, and realized that for years, I think I begged my spouse to spend time with me. Her priorities were never our marriage, and it is with the help of alanon, that I am breaking my codependency on her. Not that I will be great at this anytime soon, but I know that I can, actually I...	Lyne	6	309	Jun 8, 2014 by Newlife girl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.