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Plan for today...
(Preview)
Just for today... I am going to listen to my body and myself. I am going to listen for the times I am enabling. I am going to think before I speak or agree to something. I am not going to be the superachiever at work. But work well to the best of my abilities and not take on anyone else's projects and admit t...
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slowlearner
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11
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458
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Hey JOHN dear! (c:
(Preview)
Is there any way an individual can make her sight of the board be like it was? I know I remember seeing an ascending and the other ,once? I am seeing posts from days ago first. Then I miss new ones. I am scrolling all over trying to find new ones. I hate to miss a newbies welcome! Also someone who I want to make s...
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Debilyn
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5
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409
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slogans are the gateway to the steps
(Preview)
My sponsor was telling me how the slogans are the gateway to the steps. Like practicing live and let live, saying it in your mind when you feel that need to get involved, is like practicing step 1. Do you use the slogans like this? -- Edited by el-cee on Tuesday 17th of June 2014 01:52:12 PM
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el-cee
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11
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513
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So that didn't go to plan.
(
1 2 3
)
(Preview)
So, feeling kind sad but determined to keep it together, I was due to have my brother and his girlfriend visit yesterday for the weekend and I went ahead with that plan and just cautioned my brother that I might not be totally animated and excitable as I'd had a bit of a hard day but would be really pleased t...
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missmeliss
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93
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2220
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Would you, if you could?
(Preview)
Have you ever wanted to go back in time, undo something you've done? As you get older, wiser (snort), you can name moments where you think to yourself, if only.... If only I could go back and take a different path, that "other" road. But - would going back change things for the better? If going...
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likemyheart
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16
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647
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NO NO NO NO NO
(Preview)
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Truth
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13
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540
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years of watching enabling. i finally BLEW!
(Preview)
hi everyone, my AS is enabled by my parents. they pay all of his bills and watch his child while he sleeps. they are there for him at the drop of a dime. he is their entire focus in life. (he doesn't work) 7 other grandchildren in the picture that my parents rarely notice as they are so addicted to my AS....
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debhud
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8
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608
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New Some feedback or help at this point
(Preview)
I am fairly new to this board but have been in alanon for a while now and have been working on my recovery for many years. But it never fails that dealing with my original family members always seems to set me back so so much. I am so upset today and have been for days that I decided to post. My sister got marrie...
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jacob53
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4
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417
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Soaring on my own now....
(Preview)
It is now starting to sink in that the one person I called when anything really good or bad was going on is no longer just a phone call away or on this earth any longer. There was really something special about having her as a sponsor and being able to say anything and not be judged for it and loved through it a...
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Breakingfree
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7
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594
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Alanon Daily Readers
(Preview)
The ODAT for today summarizes the first and second step. It reviews the difficulty of surrendering control and trusting that there is a power greater than ourselves that has any concern about us. I know when I first entered Al-Anon I did not have a faith in the Power Greater than MYSELF and for a num...
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hotrod
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15
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494
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Quote I heard... finding it
(Preview)
New to Al Anon... at my first meeting someone told me that maybe I was getting in the way of God and he had stepped up the problems for my daughter because she wasn't listening... really helped me... does anyone know where this quote comes from so I can read it? Thanks
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TulsaMom
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6
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391
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How do I begin to gain strength?
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I have a question. I have been an enabler for years. Grew up with alcoholics and then married one. My self-esteem is so low. I'm a nervous wreck and hide in my comfort zone. My fight to excel above this situation is gone. I go to work and come home and sleep. I barely get the basics d...
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slowlearner
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11
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654
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LIAR LIAR .. (VENT!!)
(Preview)
OMGOSH .. I am SOOOO glad I took the kids to see their grandma. MANY reasons why .. the biggest so I could see for myself what is going on .. Now .. she was in a bad way on Monday .. she has terrible COPD (however that is .. lol .. I get confused) ... she's been in and out of the hospital for the last 10 years usuall...
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SerenityRUS
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15
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571
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Dontcha know?? I gotta ASK b4 I can receive....
(Preview)
So ok...I go on a short break to kinda get away, break up my being a part of the drama that went through here like a brush fire and I do teh ole step 4 again sponsor is with me, thank god she felt up to the task and also my sis who is ret. mental health counsellor.....anyway, i really got into the steps of aca - rep...
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neshema2
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29
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663
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One Bite At A Time
(Preview)
Overwhemed and Grateful. That's how I would best describe myself lately. My life, like any one else's here has its up's and down's. And it seems that the really big things don't bother me too much, but all the little things that I deal with on a frequent or fairly regular basis, do overwhelm me. Coll...
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John
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8
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531
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Avatar
(Preview)
FYI I changed my avatar in anticipation of summer and the July 4th Holiday
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hotrod
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8
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346
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Is this wrong?
(Preview)
Struggling with what I'm currently doing. AH is still trying to control his drinking but he drinks throughout the day at times, just not enough to become drunk or obvious. I'm trying not to care and carry on but find myself trying to figure out his behavior so I know if son is safe with him outside (around...
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Kerrymom
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14
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586
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Accepting Responsibility
(Preview)
K so today I am accepting responsibility for placing my trust into someone that was "showing" untrustworthy behavior. I am just wondering about moving forward. How will I know I am trusting the correct people? Would you think it would be if you set a boundary and they accept it?
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Truth
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17
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491
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How Al-Anon works book
(Preview)
Hi! I'm reading "How Al-Anon works" now. I part two "Al-Anon experiences", chapter 5 "A dual member copes with his mother's drinking" he tells :" I have been sober for 30 years". But later he tells:" After 13 years of sobriety, 13 years of Twelve Ste...
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salvie
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6
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1806
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Fear
(Preview)
I fear my son. my fear is that I don't want to see him this way. I don't want to hurt so much for him. I don't want to see or hear him hurting. I ask myself how to I remove this......... I DON'T KNOW HOW and that is fear in itself.
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Cathyinaz
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19
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628
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Fearful of myself & my actions towards others
(Preview)
Hi everyone!
I hope that what I'm going to say makes sense.. In coping (or not coping) with my Qualifier...I find that I'm fearful of myself (not because I want to harm myself..I'd never do that!)..but I'm fearful of how angry I am towards myself for not coping with this better. Maybe this will help..I...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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8
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492
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It is done!
(Preview)
my sponsor went to meet her maker at 8 pm tonight and she was surrounded by so much love. Her husband and I called our team of caregivers and we played music and told stories and with the moon shining off the lake out the back sliding doors we celebrated an amazing person leaving earth tonight. It was truly...
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Breakingfree
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11
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670
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I got out of the tunnel !
(Preview)
I haven't been on this board much over the last year. This morning as I read several post that all sounded so similar to my experience... The alcoholic lies, makes promises and then doesn't keep, blames it all on me, I'm angry and acting out with others etc. Yes, we are sick too because of the disease and I...
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glad
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6
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446
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making amends
(Preview)
Ive been thinking about amends as I am planning to do some step work and work on step 8. I ahve made amends to my family through my changed attitude but I would like to make direct amends through an apology. However, I dont think anyone in my family would be comfortable with that. I imagine they will say no...
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el-cee
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12
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5996
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You know ..
(Preview)
When you think that it can't get anymore weirder .. My daughter text her dad to see about Father's Day visitation .. she gets back he can't as his mother is coming home from the hospital and so he will see them next weekend. Then proceeds to ask her if she's bored at home. The text I get is an awful picture o...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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500
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meeting?
(Preview)
Hi..is there not a meeting on now?
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jm
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0
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263
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One security system......check
(Preview)
I am in the process of getting my security system..... Yipee 
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Truth
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13
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586
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Life Does Get Better
(Preview)
It's been 3 years since I separated from my AH and a little over a year since his passing. I still think about him every day, but I'm moving forward. I've made new friends whom I never would have met if not for the way my life has turned out. I've recreated my life, and rediscovered my faith in my HP, whom I cal...
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Green Eyes
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4
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419
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Happy Father's Day Weekend
(Preview)
For all of you who are dads, or mentoring young people like a father might, or being a mom doing the work of both parents, I want to wish a happy time for you this weekend celebrating who you are and what you have been able to accomplish as a person who cares for a child. Happy Father's Day! -- Edited by gra...
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grateful2be
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15
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563
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I have wishes and still
(Preview)
I am powerless. Happy Fathers Day to all of the guys who are fathers here and else where and all of the mothers who are doing double duty, you are amazing. We are celebrating today, Saturday with my third son and his wife and daughters and I have memories of my other sons who are not here even when I wis...
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Jerry F
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7
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530
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Should I explain.....
(Preview)
I'm living witha " productive(at least until 5pm) AH, my 13yr old daughter , and my 4yr old Son. Does anyone have any advice regarding explaining to my 13yr old what's really happening with her asshole A father? She absolutesly hates him because of how he acts while drinking, before drinking, a...
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JayBird66
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9
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594
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AW sober, but still cheating...
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
As I cry and write this I fight between my head and my heart. We have been married for almost 18 years and together for longer than that. Our marriage had it's normal set of ups and downs, but once the alcoholism/pain pills took over her life all hell broke loose. She had cheated on me with at least two ot...
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Needing Help
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42
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1450
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In effect I am being asked to choose between my recovery or his potential recovery
(Preview)
I continue to contemplate staying or going. Yet, it has gotten more extreme. My AH is planning an overseas move. I had yet another conversation with him about how he is "ready" for therapy. He is waiting on our doctor, who is amazing and he met with a week and a half ago, to call him back with t...
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sadsusie
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15
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697
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Abuse
(Preview)
My wife came out of private detox a year ago. Before she went in I was physically and emotionally abusive towards her. I'd grab her arms and shake her or pin her down and scream at her. This has happened a number of time since she came out which has led up to her drinking again and has became dependant over t...
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George555
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12
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957
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What is real anymore?i am insane!
(Preview)
I want to cry but the tears don't flow. My kids wonder why I don't cry about dad. I don't even know what is real. I hear my voice sayings things that I can't believe I am saying. I used to be nice and happy nowI am not sure what to feel. My husband said he quit drinking. I don't know what to believe because of...
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hopes314
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14
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722
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Dating An Active Drinker
(Preview)
So I have been actively going to al-anon meeting for a little over a month 3 days a week and I feel that it has really helped. I feel stronger and better about my self. I feel like I am in a better place. I tried al-anon a couple years ago and I just wasn't ready but I feel now I am. I'm actively looking for a sp...
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Popcorn
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7
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779
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Start Praying now ..
(Preview)
I am sooo grateful .. I just heard from my atty and what we will be doing is on 7/1 I will be divorced .. the Judge is over the delays. STBAX has NOT provided any financials and we are just trying to go over what we can and base the offer about what we know about .. soooo it's just going to take some time and I will...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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383
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the albatross
(Preview)
He is like a baby. Things have deteriorated so fast, I guess they probably haven't but i wasn't aware before, i was too busy reacting to see the whole picture. He lies on his mattress in his underpants all day playing computer games surrounded by empty bottles and shouts at me. It's my fault he lost his jo...
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missmeliss
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10
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423
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I need to ask about feelings
(Preview)
Good Morning All I have not tried to make contact with my son and he in turn has not called since the sentencing. I feel this guilt that I should reach out but again I don't want to. He hasn't reach out to me by calling so I have let it go. My thought is leave him alone to digest what is happening and not try...
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Cathyinaz
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19
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1002
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Doing hospice for my sponsor
(Preview)
As some of you know I have done 12 years of home hospice private care and now I am glad to get to spend the time with my very own sponsor. She is an amazing lady and was released to go home and finish out her life on her terms. Her husband asked me to be a part of the care team and I am honored. She helped me through...
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Breakingfree
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11
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492
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Saying goodbye with gratitude
(Preview)
Today, my assistant and I finished cleaning two huge rooms in a local church building in the inner-City neighborhood where I hosted the oldest of my organization's children's programs. We've been working steadily in the humidity and heat throwing away dried up paint, sparkly glue, the lists of n...
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grateful2be
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14
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559
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So I called the cops.
(Preview)
So he hit me one too many times. He took my phone, smacked me in the head and would't let me leave the property, OMG I called the police and they took him away. Nothing makes sense. Nothing. He snarled and hated me so much as they took him, he was all sensible and woulnd't even look at me, OMG what have I done....
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missmeliss
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38
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1013
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Doing nice things for me is all in relation to A's bad behavior.
(Preview)
I have been thinking a lot about how I am on the fence here "waiting" for A to get sober. At this point we are selling our house to move overseas. But in all reality, I am just ready to pay off our bills and to find an apartment while HE moves. That decision is still not a commitment though, cause I (...
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sadsusie
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8
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461
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Hurting
(Preview)
I have been doing so much better. I have been focusing on me and my daughter, going to meetings, hanging out with friends and spending time with family. I have been staying out of his drama, not instigating, de-escalating, backing off, letting things go instead of pushing And getting so much bett...
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1lostmom
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4
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449
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Bring on the recovery roller coaster
(Preview)
Well, my AH sat me down and had the, "I'm an alcoholic and you were right" talk. He admitted to his insanity, he praised me for being stubborn with my program and for holding the home and our lives together and for not kicking him out. He has found a sponsor and says he is ready to jump fully in t...
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andromeda
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24
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571
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Lawyer says....
(Preview)
Lawyer says just say no. Starting to feel a little better. I got firm instructions from the lawyer. So of course this is going to escalate but I will be prepared.
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Truth
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11
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359
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perspective needed
(Preview)
My adult daughter (39) has been floundering all her life. In and out of programs, jail, the usual. She is currently living in a homeless shelter in a bad part of town. She called me and wanted me to give her some money I owe her so that she can take a bus to the Cape to stay with her father. She has her thing...
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Minneha
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1
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268
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Advice needed
(Preview)
It is time for me to get my 34 year old son out of the house. He relapsed. Said he would be out in a month, Detoxed at home and now I am finding strong evidence he is using again. He is very volatile and defensive when I ask him to leave. I am determined for him to leave by Monday. I want to write him a letter...
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Pamela1954
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4
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511
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Update A went on a binge
(Preview)
Well things have not got any better to much has happen since my last update . 2 weeks ago my A ex started to harass me again on the phone . I could not take any more verbal abuse I could not take any more how I ruined the marriage . I have a RO on him and I not once made a phone call to police all these times he bother m...
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Wisdom67
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7
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575
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I have stopped crying
(Preview)
Got it all out and now to move on and look for the better in all this. There can be "BETTER" I know this because my HP told me so because he loves me and my son. ((( hugs )))
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Cathyinaz
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12
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548
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Marrying an Alcoholic
(Preview)
I started dating him over 3.5 years ago and after about 6 months I had a feeling he had a drinking problem. It caused a lot of fights and I guess I just didn't want to admit that he actually was. About 2 years later we bought a house together and 8 months later he admitted that he was an alcoholic and addicted t...
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bail01
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21
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684
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Really need support :*(
(Preview)
I met the alcoholic/drug addict in April 2013. I didn't know he was what he was until it was too late. I got pregnant two months into the relationship and "tried" to do the right thing by sticking with him. I'm 34 years old and was very careful. It really was an accident. In the process, I c...
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ksmommy80
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6
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406
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Separation?
(Preview)
I am strongly thinking about separating with my AH. What should I consider? I read that separation won't solve my problems, I need to be in al anon for at least 6 month before making any changes. I have not even started al anon yet. We are selling the house now, and will be out of it in 8 days. My dad is coming f...
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Venera
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11
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728
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Step 8
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57785803/alanon-step-8/
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hotrod
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2
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427
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Wow feeling relaxed... And sleepy
(Preview)
I feel relaxed and sleepy. It feels so good rather than feeling hyper-alert. It is so peaceful.
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Truth
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5
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319
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He says I'm responsible...am I??
(Preview)
Apologies for the length of this post. I've been married to my alcoholic husband for almost 5 years. When we met, he drank, but nothing like now. He has anxiety, panic disorder, and a host of physical problems (fatty liver, chronic and bloody diarrhea, possible colitis, etc). He's a stay at home f...
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vakick
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11
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563
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Slight change in message board format... Please read.
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Previously the post at the top of the board would be based on the date it was started. Now, I have changed it so that when a post is replied to, it is moved to the top of the board, so the reply doesn't get lost at the bottom of the board and can be seen and replied to by both the original poster, as w...
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John
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17
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775
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I'm lazy - note to John
(Preview)
I just want you to know that I hope this trial period on the reversal of the way the board works gets extended into a forever period. I am basically lazy and I am delighted I no longer have to scroll down the pages looking for highlighted posts. I love that posts are immediately available to read or to se...
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grateful2be
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6
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420
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I need to take breaks
(Preview)
from the clouds and drabness of life so that I can see the beauty all around me. Sometimes I need to see beauty which is totally unexpected to shake my senses into a gasp and a WOW!! Here is just one of those I got in the last day. I've got absolutely no sense of negative in me now. HP whispered "S...
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Jerry F
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15
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550
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I can't stop crying
(Preview)
Well it's over. My son got 2.5 years and the judge was mad at him because what he said about his education, hard life and everything....my son thought that would help but it didn't....she gave him what the prosecutor wanted. She told him he should have known better being such a smart person. Why he con...
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Cathyinaz
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15
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679
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