Thoughts on the core of our spiritual program: Humility - Al-Anon Family Group

Tasha · Senior Member

Thoughts on the core of our spiritual program: Humility

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I really like this post and your vulnerability here. I am sending you love and support on your journey!

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

I do not think people's reactions were silly. It was a debatable situation and people had strong opinions. Human ones. None of it was silly and nobody here was lacking humility really. Your own post is likely to stir up some hurt feelings here. Are you humble enough to know why tasha?

Luiza · Senior Member

I enjoyed your post. Thanks for sharing!

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

There are also 12 principles of the program. Humility is crucial, but no more the core than faith, honesty, hope, courage, integrity, brotherly love. How I respond to someone who I don't agree with has nothing to do with observing violations of traditions but your post seems to infer all of us who had issues with that post were just controlling babies and unable to see the moral high ground as perfectly as you and that those members with a collaboration of hundreds of years of alanon experience need lessons on humility from you. That alone begs the question of who really needs to learn about humility. Love you tasha but, I dunno about this one.

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

pinkchip wrote:
I do not think people's reactions were silly. It was a debatable situation and people had strong opinions. Human ones. None of it was silly and nobody here was lacking humility really. Your own post is likely to stir up some hurt feelings here. Are you humble enough to know why tasha?

agree 100% with Mark......I also state that "humility" does not mean "stuffing feelings/opinions" but to step up and express themselves which many of us did.....NONE of this was silly and the people here in my opinion showed great humility, in that they were, including myself "open" to the poster sharing his esh or personal story rather than give a "how to" full of "shoulds" and "musts"...Our moderators did a great job encouraging poster to "come out and share yourself" and they, too, did not think the "essay" post was appropriate for a board which is about personal stories with their struggles and their progresses.....I am not hurt by this post, I am just gonna use my right to "take what works and leave the rest"

Tasha · Senior Member

Thank you so much for the feed back. Love you too. Xoxo
I only meant to laugh at myself for my own behavior... sorry for the confusion. I feel very loved here thank you for loving yourself enough to offer that... its inspiring and brings me hope.

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

pinkchip wrote:
There are also 12 principles of the program. Humility is crucial, but no more the core than faith, honesty, hope, courage, integrity, brotherly love. How I respond to someone who I don't agree with has nothing to do with observing violations of traditions but your post seems to infer all of us who had issues with that post were just controlling babies and unable to see the moral high ground as perfectly as you

all my life i was denied my voice, self expression in any way...Now with alanon, et all, I am free to do so...i can disagree, have an issue, and it has ZERO to do with control....I kept the focus on me and my feelings and my issues/triggers etc as did the others....to assume and i got the same impression as Mark, to assume that we were "silly" is working "mass" inventory on those of us who had issues and kept the focus on ourselves....not ONE person called anyone any names, or crosstalked him in any way....those of us who responded exercised our rights under the tradition #1...I am happy that you are that advanced in alanon that you can take time to "teach" us humility.......however as i said on last post...I will take what works and leave the rest.......

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Tasha wrote:
Yesterday I was startled by some of the things I read here about a certain poster who shared an article he wrote - and then I just burst out laughing! What a silly life we create and live, trying to control our controlling nature! LOLOLOL

I got the same impression as Mark, in that, I didn't see a post from you re: the "certain poster" so i am confused as to the "trying to control our controlling nature!!!" remark above.....

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

The whole thing is a mine field Tasha lol. Dangerous stepping but you are a brave spirit hehe.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I have done my share of "sharing" information when I believed I was extraordinary and significant. It was often accompanied with inauthentic humility. I have been knocked off of my high horse, thank God.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks for your share Tasha--- I did not see a great deal of humility in your recently " deleted" post and in your" recent PM to me". I find your discussion on the topic interesting and I enjoyed reading the others member's responses.

As for the posting that you were speaking about, John ventured into the discussion regarding the posting and validated many members concerns .

Being a Mod on the Board is very similar to being a chairperson at a meetings We are a fellowship of equals and the Mod, is asked to ensure that common welfare of the group is respected. It is a fine line that is walked and IN ALL HUMILITY I believe it is done with a great deal of compassion, humility and wisdom

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Our moderators do a fine job of monitoring and adhering to the traditions and principles of the program, Tasha. I understand that you have recently become a moderator on another board. I seriously doubt that our moderators would come onto your board to lecture you on humility and leadership.
You can say what you want about me. You don't know me and your opinion of me is none of my business. But, when you start poking at two fine women who are in service to the rest of us when they could be doing something else with their time, I will say "foul." And to me, your post is slicing at people who you are not in relationship to for the most part and do not know.

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

grateful2be wrote:
Our moderators do a fine job of monitoring and adhering to the traditions and principles of the program, Tasha. I understand that you have recently become a moderator on another board. I seriously doubt that our moderators would come onto your board to lecture you on humility and leadership.
You can say what you want about me. You don't know me and your opinion of me is none of my business. But, when you start poking at two fine women who are in service to the rest of us when they could be doing something else with their time, I will say "foul." And to me, your post is slicing at people who you are not in relationship to for the most part and do not know.

i totally agree with grateful........ the moderators here make me feel SAFE...that is imperative for me and one of those reasons why i feel SAFE is that i can be ME w/out being attacked or belittled or jabbed at or told how to do my program.....i def. think working other's inventories is a "not so cool" place to go...even if it "looks" sugar coated with all the smiles and lol's attached to it........personally I am too busy working on my short comings to try and "teach" any body else....JUST saying

-- Edited by neshema2 on Monday 9th of June 2014 08:15:06 PM

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

PP wrote:
I have done my share of "sharing" information when I believed I was extraordinary and significant. It was often accompanied with inauthentic humility. I have been knocked off of my high horse, thank God.

Oh spot on, Paula.....yea, I used to think i was alanon extraordinair until i got busted by some REAL , authentic worker bees in the program.....thank god for them, busting my butt and showing me a healthier way to work my program.....i like your "inauthentic humility" thats what passive aggressives do, i think.....i know, i was loaded with BS until i got knocked down by a few oldies who saw through my sugar coated BS......

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

and if i even smell that i am going that way again (inauthentic humility) i hope someone comes along and smacks me up side of my fat head......

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Tasha!! wonderful post and great growth. I read it and hear the echoes from my own earlier recovery journey and the risks which came with it when I learned that not all others would bless my new understanding and behaviors. Tada!! lived thru it and still do live thru it. "Take what you like and leave the rest" is great thought force for me and I read it also in your post. Humility...takes courage...yessir this does and I at first thought it was lowliness of spirit which and be and often is badly inflicted on the victims of alcoholism, and then I learn that is not humility at all but humiliation which I didn't have any more room for...so with an open mind and the time spent with my sponsor I find "Humility is being teachable". How well you have said that here...I got it!! I reacted to everything when I first got into the program and I was so afraid and delusional...I couldn't see the trees for the forest. I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know and thank God for the fellowship that practiced the program cause they were the ones that told me "Get you self out of the way of the light. You're casting the shadow on your trail". Got it again! I remembered "sit down, shut up, listen, learn and practice, practice, practice" and I practice that. I remembered the reading on allowing others to have their stories told within their own manner, without judgment and criticism and then asking myself the question, "What is it that I can learn from this". Seems you "got" the same lesson. My sponsor taught me to take the pedestal off of my letter I and replace it with a dot (i) and imagine the dot being a weight keeping my ego down. I'm not such a big deal like before I learned humility. When I am humble God picks the teacher and I'm always the student". Thanks for your ESH. (((((HUGS))))) smile

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

So it's confirmed not cleaning your house is a side effect of Al-anon. Thank god because mine is a mess. Lol

-- Edited by Truth on Monday 9th of June 2014 09:21:15 PM

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

On a more serious note. I really enjoyed your post as well Tasha. ((((Hugs)))) to you.

Tasha · Senior Member

Thank you for the support family :)

I began my road to emotional sobriety and spirituality when I read a post here a long time ago about silent service work. The challenge was to do something nice for someone without seeking anything in return, or any recognition. So the challenge was simple - if they found out about it, it didn't count and you had to start over from day one again and try to make it 7 days.

I soon realized - maybe 40 days in, that it was nearly impossible - but one great thing happened - well many actually, but one stood out: It became a habit and my own self seeking and selfish desires DID slip away more and more.

Still - I had a goal in mind - and I found out I still had a major expectation around it. I didn't want a thank you - or karma to 'get me back' or people to notice or affirm my wonderfulness or anything like that... it went even deeper than superficial things, or the need for attention and recognition/validation that I was trying to get since I never got it growing up. In the end, it came down to a simple thing: Do good, feel good. Do bad, feel bad. And I realized, that as I did good - I was not only honoring the gift my HP gave me which was my life - but also everyone else naturally as a byproduct. By being focused on doing good for others just for my own sake with absolutely NOTHING else in mind - no outcome - no result - nothing... just entirely leaving all that to God... I was left with a still nagging void. And what I found out was I only THOUGHT I had gotten to the point of having no selfish expectations in this way... but look at that little saying again: "Do good, feel good - Do bad, feel bad".

I still EXPECTED to at the very least FEEL good when I did good. Still selfish right? no

And that was riddled and entangled with every single move I had made!!!

Finally - with the help of my HP whom I sometimes call God, I was able to see beyond that expectation. I was able to fully let go. I was able to see that sometimes it was bigger than me, or what I could see in my line of vision or with my perceptions. Sometimes doing good had to be about the greater whole - and it had to be for the good of the Universe, even if it meant I had to feel bad temporarily.... or maybe forever? I had to be THAT ALL IN. That willing to turn my life over.

Being willing to turn my life to the care of God - I found wasn't as simple as I once thought. It became necessary to trust and have faith even if it looked like I was going to be jumping into a pile of thorns, and by that I mean - people can be very thorny, and they can hurt me - and especially and OFTEN when I am doing good. And I found out the more good I do - the more people mistrust, and the more people try to tear you down. They need proof, and they 'test' you without even knowing it sometimes. It seemed the more spiritual I became, and the more faithful, the more tests I got. The cool thing is - every 'test' is an opportunity for further growth.

So I embraced them.

I have made the choice to continue putting my faith in the God of my understanding. In this way - I remove myself individually as 'such a big deal' and if or when I get hurt, it isn't just about me... it's about something bigger. In that way - WE are not really hurt at all, just a part of 'us', who happens to look like me - who happens to just be part of the whole of my human family. I believe I am just an extension of the universe and everything, that we are all ONE energy - and that God is everything and in everything. In that way - I release my individualism, and become more open to the good of all -when I do this, I honor all of 'me' or in other words, all of my human family. And when I do this - I honor God.

Tasha · Senior Member

I would have loved to sit silently on a park bench with this lady.

Mother Teresas Prayer

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
.Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
.Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
.Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
.Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
.Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
.Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
.Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best youve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway

Tasha · Senior Member

Thank you All so much :)

David - this post from February seems to fall the one here:

So many of my issues...

... are about attention seeking. At least they started that way. Filling the void - the gap - the hole in my soul. cry

I've been pondering the false self. The idea of 'faking it til we make it' which I spoke with David about here the other day - seems to sort of contradict the idea that adult children use 'false kindness' to manipulate. But there has been a way through it for me.

In some regards - I have to have a vision. I wanted certain results here on this board - in my life - for my children - for my marriage - for my work etc. Having the vision but leaving the results to HP even while keeping the ideal in mind is/was tricky. They are coming true for me now.

I also believe in the power of acting our way into better thinking. The slumps we as humans get into feel like quick sand if we stand still - and it seems the more we wrestle within our head, the worse and faster down we go. The precious gem/tool I was given in recovery for getting out of the quicksand, and ability to walk away free and safe, was 'acting your way into better thinking'. And never ever try to think your way into better acting. Our best thinking is what got us here - when I take better actions, my thinking MUST change as a result of my movements and the life experiences I'm reforming. Retrain the brain.

Yet - it was a struggle to understand what those actions should be. I was here trying to focus on SELF - not others - yet they told me that if I was to keep what I had learned/gained so far, I had to give it away to others. So when I made that list in step 3 of all the qualities my human mind could use to describe this ultimately indescribable higher power, who could show itself in my human capabilities, through qualities a human would have (since God is everything) ------------ I had a place to start.

God was love - so how could I handle everything with love - FOR ME? How could I treat people with love no matter what crazy they were into.... FOR ME? How could I 'be' love, so I could feel loving and gain the self respect - worth - esteem that comes with having a HP in my heart?

Could I really be loving when people were nasty and awful? Was I allowed to NOT teach them a lesson and give them consequences?

Well... yes... the program taught me and gave me permission. I came to understand that an all loving HP only said I had to be loving for ME. So I could treat me with, love no matter what else was going on... and begin to live in the light of the spirit as was intended for my life.

Ironically - all the rest of the zillion slogans fell into place once this very simple idea solidified in my mind. It no longer mattered what other people thought of me - I was working for HP and his love for me. Other people benefited greatly by my changing ME and yes, even faking it sometimes until I got comfortable treating me better. Considering I was essentially a fake self/false self - it seemed terribly ironic to use a fake it approach to healing my fake self. But what I later found out with practice, and a little patience, was that it was my true self who was meant to live like this 'fake it til you make it' self anyway.

So when I spoke about being this wobbly, clumsy awkward new true self... it really was a sort of being re-born, though I was on the planet for 3 decades. It felt BIZARRE to act in many of the ways that my true self was meant to be... but in time - I got used to this strange new life after a lot of repeating to myself 'never give up'. Everything looked new and different - felt new and different - I began to see people differently through my new eyes... but not in a bad way - just new.

They say this program offers us our true self. I don't believe we are here to find our old self - or what we were when we were kids - or what we felt at a certain point when things were going good.... I believe we are here to find a NEW freedom from the bondage of self (false self). I believe this is a New life and one that we can look forward to really living no matter what the day brings - or the circumstances.

This morning my son yelled at me "I HATE YOU - YOU'RE THE WORST MOM IN THE WORLD AND ALL THAT BAD STUFF YOU USED TO DO I HATE YOU FOR AND I ALWAYS WILL!"

What happened was - I started raising my voice about letting the cat go because the little fishing pole they were using to play with it was wrapping around it's neck. What I could have done was just ask politely but It slipped out loud because of the noise level already. This slightly raised voice scares my kids who are still healing from my past yelling - because they are still not totally sure that I will stay calm no matter what and be a safe haven for them to express anything.

My son went into to fight or flight mode - yelling at me, calling me names (expressing his hate for the para-disease he lived with but directed it toward me as a person) and let it rip. I stayed calm through this, reassuring him that it is okay and normal to feel afraid and angry after all he's experienced in his life. He continued on with ya ya you're so stupid - I hate all that nice talk and all your stupid meetings (testing the change - will it stick if I go for the throat). Yes I replied - this is normal and I love myself no matter what you think of me Max, I have forgiven myself. "Ya ya - you shouldn't you're an idiot no matter what you think of yourself." He says.

"Thank you Max, for sharing your feelings with me - that is very brave, no matter what you say - I can handle it calmly now... you are safe".

Max: "Ya ya - I hate you, don't talk to me". He isolates to the foyer (flight after fight) - and does a little 'grief work' - sits sadly. I write him a little note that says "It sucks to feel awful. I love you. Hope you feel better soon". And slip it around the corner.

He comes back to the living room where I am playing with the other kids happily (showing him that I am responsible for my feelings and what others think of me is none of my business... nor is he responsible for my feelings) and asks for a hug and says sorry I didn't mean any of that.

I said "Thank you for reaching out for love. You probably did mean all of that because what you went through when you were younger was very scary and you don't have to be 'over it' today - you can take your time... and I will do my best to continue to show you that no matter what, I can handle anything that happens calmly and lovingly. That no matter what you do I can handle it. That no matter what I love you as is all of the time.

And - then he did something magical - and this is the miracle of recovery: He didn't try to make it up to me or make me feel better or anything of the stuff he used to do - he just ran off happily to play - a living amends to both of us without even knowing it.

Promise: We will suddenly understand how to handle situation which used to baffle us.

Tasha · Senior Member

Looking back at this post from Feb - we are only another 5 months forward.

I remember how scary the future used to be, and then it hit me - the now I am in (that isn't scary at all if I'm really in it) was once the future. So what have I really to be afraid of? Letting go of the what if's and trusting that all I need I have right now, has had a snowball effect on my children and our family. I think back to this day that I talked about here, and see how much further along the healing is. Time really does heal - our mind body and soul calms down and relaxes slowly. Those days are gone, those words, those harsh after effects fell away and I didn't even notice. But I did think to myself this morning, when my son said to me "Mom, I am so grateful for all the stuff you give me". And my mind thought of his IPAD and some other things I worked hard for to get for his enjoyment when all at once he shocked me with this: "All the love, and time you spend with me - I'm glad I'm not a bully". I can only assume that he some how knows that the bully on the bus is just so hungry for love. I can only assume that he has compassion and empathy for his enemy. It brings me right down to my knees in tears.

One of the things that I never put value on very well was TIME offered, or love offered. I put value on STUFF> and I am still working to shake this learned survival skill out. I sometimes forget, that my 'sponsor' is often my son Max... and he is such a gift.

Tasha · Senior Member

Thank you for the space to share some of my journey. It is an honor.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

I will admit to feeling a bit offended with your post. I will try to say what i mean without saying it mean. I've read how you feel about alanon and it's members so i was triggered when i saw that you have shared your wisdom in such a way. We dont need leaders or judgement to be honest. We are doing fine. It seems to me that esh is given in good will or not and that takes trust to build up relationships. There are people who are here day in day out giving freely and with love and kindness. I value those views, some people recently have let their egos get the better of them and have chosen to tell us whats what. I cant really value their viewpoint because im more interested in what people have got to say to the newcomers and others day after day, you know the real passing it on. Much more valuable with much more humility than responding to the drama once in a blue moon.

-- Edited by el-cee on Tuesday 10th of June 2014 01:37:34 AM

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

LC It appears that things on the other"2 Boards" must have become too boring, or everyone is recovered over there , so now it is time to save all the "Un Recovered Alanoners"

I was reminded this morning that at issue, early on was the posting of copy righted material to the Board. It appears Tasha may broken that rule and done just that. I will need to review that requirements and delete a portion of her message shortly.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you for your additional share, Tasha. It makes me think of myself and some of the ways I entered into life in my mid-to-late 30s. I hadn't been in Al-Anon very long and youth and the exuberance of freedom and being pretty and encouraged and applauded by men and women both. I was caught up in so much I didn't recognize. Fortunately, a really good friend was loving and yet very honest with me. I was headed for a big crash and burn and I didn't see it coming. In the spirit of Al-Anon, I want to be that voice of caution in your life. Take care, Tasha. Please take care. I am choosing to pass on the wisdom of my elders to you because whether or not you like me, I love you in a very special way. Take what you like and leave the rest. Your choices are your own. Your motives your own. Your way of seeing your own. I respect that and yet I need to offer you what I've received because for me it is the right thing to do.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 10th of June 2014 08:43:24 AM

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

el-cee wrote:
I will admit to feeling a bit offended with your post. I will try to say what i mean without saying it mean. I've read how you feel about alanon and it's members so i was triggered when i saw that you have shared your wisdom in such a way. We dont need leaders or judgement to be honest. We are doing fine. It seems to me that esh is given in good will or not and that takes trust to build up relationships. There are people who are here day in day out giving freely and with love and kindness. I value those views, some people recently have let their egos get the better of them and have chosen to tell us whats what. I cant really value their viewpoint because im more interested in what people have got to say to the newcomers and others day after day, you know the real passing it on. Much more valuable with much more humility than responding to the drama once in a blue moon.

-- Edited by el-cee on Tuesday 10th of June 2014 01:37:34 AM

I agree with this --- we are fine over here and we don't need tasha to save us....our mods are doing a great job, here, as trusted servents of the program...i see everyone on here as an equal b/c HP is the only "leader"...and yes, i see folks here day in , day out giving of themselves and their esh and i don't see any posts from tasha except to come in on the wind and do a post jabbing at us and our moderators re: the essay poster....calling us "silly" under sugar coated xx and oo's to make it all look pretty, but a jab is a jab and i saw through it and i posted earlier my being offended at anyone who would come here and take a "pot shot" at us and especially our moderators who did a hell of a job, letting us post our opinions and also they BOTH invited this Jerry fellow to "come and share YOUR story" ..they didn't censor the post, they left it up there for us to "work through" I think this entire community was AWESOME and i will stand to that...I am very glad for tasha that she is "recovered" and now can be an assistant HP in saving us all from our own sillyness.....JUST saying

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

grateful2be wrote:
Thank you for your additional share, Tasha. It makes me think of myself and some of the ways I entered into life in my mid-to-late 30s. I hadn't been in Al-Anon very long and youth and the exuberance of freedom and being pretty and encouraged and applauded by men and women both. I was caught up in so much I didn't recognize. Fortunately, a really good friend was loving and yet very honest with me. I was headed for a big crash and burn and I didn't see it coming. In the spirit of Al-Anon, I want to be that voice of caution in your life. Take care, Tasha. Please take care. I am choosing to pass on the wisdom of my elders to you because whether or not you like me, I love you in a very special way. Take what you like and leave the rest. Your choices are your own. Your motives your own. Your way of seeing your own. I respect that and yet I need to offer you what I've received because for me it is the right thing to do.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 10th of June 2014 08:43:24 AM

This is beautiful....this is humility at its best......grateful you are a much more gracious person than I.....to share like this is awesome....xxoo

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

hotrod wrote:
LC It appears that things on the other"2 Boards" must have become too boring, or everyone is recovered over there , so now it is time to save all the "Un Recovered Alanoners"
I was reminded this morning that at issue, early on was the posting of copy righted material to the Board. It appears Tasha may broken that rule and done just that. I will need to review that requirements and delete a portion of her message shortly.

well , i would rather be "un recovered" and live in the truth and the willingness to learn rather than to know...so i don't want to be "saved" by tasha.....if her post above reflects being "recovered"....i KNOW i am imperfect, fallible, and many times vulnerable and this community keeps me emotionally sober one day at a time.....the day i think i am "recovered" enough to "lord it over my fellows" in a manner such as this, someone PLEASE kick my self righteous butt hard enough so i have to lift up my shirt to use the ladies room........i saw the part of mother teresa....mother teresa NEVER spoke of her "goodness" un appreciated...she didn't care...she did it anyway w/out having to do a post anywhere about it.....MT was genuinely humble....i am not good enough to even be in the same air space as M Teresa, may she rest in eternal peace

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

I just wanted to say that I really like the idea of an article in praise of humility doing the rounds on Facebook - it is a quality that I consider a strength and I'm sad that the media overlook it (I'm beginning to sound my age, rather nostalgic!).

I love the sentiment of that Mother Teresa prayer - although whenever I read it I feel a bit like I'm looking up into the tallest of redwood trees, I'll never quite get to that level

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Tasha, first I need to ask, in that first post here you shared, was the quoted part from something that had a copyright and did it give you permission to share it?

Otherwise I read all your posts, more than once. I have a feeling, it may be wrong, that all that long sharing is one trying to get a point acrossed. I am not easily finding it.

I didn't find it upsetting at all. I saw a lot of feeling cared about here, you are, I saw you feel safe here, you are, i may have missed things others saw or felt, I have to add. Not negating anyones feelings.

I would appreciate when people pm others to do it kindly, and stick to I feel.

Myself have posted many, many times I am humbled to be here and be a mod. Also humbled by all the support I have gotten all these years.

I agree with others that articles are not what we are here for. Hey I had 5 years of college and papers i wrote after years of researching, addiction in every waysubject I could find! Sure am not going to post it here! lol I know you are thanking me right now! lol

Anyway Tasha in fact we are all square pegs or triangle ones or whatever, we all have our own story and beliefs. On thing that helps each of us is to own what we say. Meaning I feel. MY experience, this happened to me. I see it this way it is my esh. Then there is NO reason for anyone to feel personally hurt.

The world is so darn tough. Things are coming to a head, so we will have more strife. We are doing our best to keep things as calm and healthy as we can. love! debilyn

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