Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

blessed · blessed

My A has always been the kind of man that would not go to the dentist or doctor, etc, I was always reminding, begging, nagging, until one day I just said, "if you want your teeth to fall out, fine. I am done." Actually, a friend of mine said, "I stopped doing that and I just make sure the life...

blessed · blessed

This was in an online newsletter that I subscribe to and I found it appropriate for what I must do - Let Go & Let God. (edited for our purposes) The other day I was standing outside a restaurant right next to a tree that had recently been pruned. I was caring on a conversation with a friend but in the bac...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

My sister was married last Thursday and it was beautiful. I had so much built up anxiety about it because of my strained relationship with her and our parents. A huge thunderstorm rolled in just as the ceremony began. She was married on a covered deck so it was very dramatic. Everyone was filled with exc...

lookingup · lookingup

He finally answered my call I debated on wether to call him since he wasn't tryin to even get in touch with me ,I started right off fussing at him ,he is of few words lately I told him I was tired of his bs and he said why I told him the way he was actin weird he said he was feeling weird that he was dizzy he dont make...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I'm finally home and relaxing after a hard days work. My company is completely overhauling our manufacturing processes with new servers, software and every thing else you can think of. I'm one of the core team putting this together so hours and hours of extra work is now in our plates. T...

Truth · Truth

So the ex-A returned and tried to push the boundaries of the court order. I stuck to my boundary and said no. It actually got returned with an "ok". I will see how the exchanges go this week. I did catch him in a lie however I just chose to document it in my journal.

milkwood · milkwood

This is for you Melly

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I'm sorry to say this but I will not be posting anything more here not even positive not only do I have my ex A watching everything I post I got a nasty email from my active ex mother. In law badgering me . I just got done dealing with this crap and now I'm being harassed from another state. I thank you all for yo...

Sallygcoe · Sallygcoe

I need some advice from those of you who have experience extreme anger, resentment, paranoia from their addict. My AS works for our family business (or used to, he walked out yesterday) and he has become even more angry, resentful and paranoid since coming out of rehab in Dec. I have never believed he s...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Honestly, I don't like the term qualifier. Is it some kind of unspoken rule that we refer to the A in our lives as a qualifier? It just sound so secretive and odd to me. Am I the only one that feels this way?? Why can't we be honest and just say who the A is?? I like being honest in my shares...so I don't use this t...

Survivor55 · Survivor55

Yesterday I acknowledged for the first time I am a survivior of an alcoholic parent. This came about through therapy for an unrelated (or so I believed) issue and I am angry. For the first time I understand why I behave the way I do, the emotional neglect I survived and the blame I carry with me every day. I...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well .. as I type this .. I just can't believe I'm actually typing this .. I'm not going to be divorced on 7/1 .. the reason? My atty suffered a stroke. Yes, .. you read that right .. I'm really in shock that this has and is happening. Now there are some good news things .. first off my atty is ok consideri...

Lyne · Lyne

I had the thought this morning that alanon is de-programming me from the crazy cult I was in with my A! My thinking got distorted, I lost my self-esteem, I became obsessed with what my A was doing, and I didn't have my own life. This is exactly what happens in cults-you loose yourself and let someone els...

NL14 · NL14

Hi all, sorry in advance if this is a little long. I'm new to Al-Anon. I've been married to my A for 20 years (as of last week), unhappily for at least the last 6 or so. He's been active on and off for most of our marriage, but fully active for the last couple of years. He's what you might call a "functiona...

MCALANON · MCALANON

hello - I am new to all this since cNov 2013. Been attending al anon 6 weeks - am not religious but it helps. My lovely son 38 is binge drinking since Nov 2013 when his partner left with baby girl (14 months), He's always been lonely and sad and, it seems, drunk too much in secret for 20 years to ease the p...

blessed · blessed

Because I am a "math" person; and have been in financial positions most of my career and that stuff just comes natural to me, I have always taken care of the family finances. My AH has always had a good job (in between layoffs) but has provided a good income to the family. Even though I have a bud...

deramam · deramam

My AH left Sunday night after he asked if he could go on a four wheeler ride. I knew it sounded like a bad idea but I said yes anyways because he was already out and would have done it if I had said no anyways. Well I asked him to be back in an hour-hour and 30 mins since I needed to go to the store and get OTC pain med...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm very very very slowly working my way back to f2f meetings..and I understand that going just to meetings won't help me as much as if I go to said meetings, find a sponsor and work the program. That being said..what are some ways I can stop enabling my Qualifier?...before I work on getting a sponsor. I f...

neshema2 · neshema2

Dear alanons I am not going to try to name you all, because I would be so sad if I left one of you out. So I shall write globally to all of you. I want to express my deepest thanks for those of you who helped me learn and grow and become the person that I am and the person I have hopes of being... Even those of y...

Truth · Truth

I don't know if it is just me but now I am noticing defense mechanisms. Can optimism be a defense mechanism?

Bry27 · Bry27

My wife or really soon to be ex wife takes pain meds for her back . She says she has a slipped disck and had scoliosis as a child. I do not recall her injury during our marraige. Of course when I tell he that hse would say " How dare you for not beliveing me and how can you forget my inhury. Here is what...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

my former friend is not as far along as I had hoped for her to be .. she has been relapsing probably on a regular basis .. I really hope and pray that she finds peace in the program .. I remind myself she's going back and there is always hope .. I was right to pull away when I did and allow things to play out. She i...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This past week hasn't been the easiest I've ever had. But, one foot in front of the other, you know. Cat peed on one of my pillows to cheer me up; I threw it out and the next day he peed on my other pillow- he always knows just how to make things better! No pillows for me for a while because I can't afford anythi...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

She would have been 36 years old today. She passed at the age of 12 from cancer. She was my childhood best friend. There are no coincidences. I feel truly blessed to have had the chance to have known such a beautiful soul here on earth at such a young age. Although sorrow in her passing she left us with an acc...

newday · newday

I'm an old acquaintance here. Love Alanon...and what it did for me years ago when I was in a long term relationship with a very active alcoholic. Well...as it turns out. I left him...and stayed single for years. I then met a beautiful man...who as it turns out...was an A too. Go figure!!! This man though...

licoricecat · licoricecat

I, as well as many others walk in late to meetings. I have medical issues, etc making it difficult to walk. Some of the seasoned members came together outside of the group and decided they want to ban me for coming in late. One of the other members who was speaking and I walked in quietly, getting a copy of...

blessed · blessed

This is a word that means a different things to different people; generally it is spoken of as a bad thing. My A spouse loves to say I am controlling. However, I have thought about this and meditated on it and to be "in control" is not nescesarily a bad thing. Someone has to be. We expect adults t...

leslina · leslina

I've never posted on a message board before so excuse me if this is not the correct way to go about it. I am assuming I just share a little bit of info and go from there but please tell me if this is incorrect. Here's some information about me and my situation: I have been married to an alcoholic for 8 years now...

Quanttrader · Quanttrader

A pal is having his 50th today. It was supposed to be 1-5 by the club pool, then dinner at 6. I went to the club and he had left everybody to go pass out, so everyone was just sitting around talking about him. I figured maybe he would be OK for dinner. So my wife and I get all dressed up, (her in a new outfit I bough...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57909945/alanon-step-9/

lookingup · lookingup

Daughter and kids are in for a visit,we all decided to take a week in destin Fla.beautiful place,I don't see my a bf but very little he says he is working all the time so he seldom calls and hardly ever answer my calls.i don't understand him anymore I don't know what's going on with him he went from loveing m...

MCALANON · MCALANON

as noted in a post elsewhere on here recently, I'm new to Al Anon having discovered my AS is binge drinking since Nov 2013. I've seen reference to people writing to the A explaining 1 they are loved but 2 all the damage/loss the drinking has caused. I've even seen the odd 'template' online. Does Al Anon...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hey are you OK up there. I heard about the 8.0 Earthquake. Look like it's far from you. Let us know Cathy -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Monday 23rd of June 2014 04:51:01 PM

Mirandac · Mirandac

I have a question about a meeting i attend. One person there always Speaks for 15 minutes and i feel it comes from a place of ego. I get Very impatient with her. She tells her story but in the process is trying To educate us. Does every group have someone like this? She is the Same person that raises h if there...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, I have not been on for a while although still been attending my face to face meetings. I just wanted to share my good news with you all. 5 weeks ago I got my first Grand child a little girl 6lb 3 Kiera she is beautiful and the first child to be born while we have sobriety in our home. In the dark days I cou...

Gaby · Gaby

Considering all.. It was a great weekend and my daughter was such a beautiful flower girl..

Luiza · Luiza

Hi. Since finding MIP and going to my 1st meeting I have been practicing the 1st step and the slogans and I have been improving so much. On my last thread I explained how H came drunk on Monday and I didn't fight and treated him with silence. He has been baffled since and didn't get drunk on Tuesday and Wedne...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

11 Days and counting .. I am ok, then not, then ok again and then not. I'm kind of laughing at myself .. I used to do the whole he's been gone for xyz days .. LOL .. now I'm on the reverse count down and it's a mixed bag of feelings, facts and number crunching. I guess I am the odd man out on this and I have found I c...

Gaby · Gaby

There are some people in here that regardless how I share what I feel at the moment make me feel low. For one NESHEMA. You make me feel as if I have to things your way. As I read my esh you down talk me. That deeply hurts because here as every one else. As much as you say take what you want and leave the rest.. You ?...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm having a lot of difficulty with staying on my own side of the street lately. My recovering abf is working through some financial issues and I'm interfering in his life. He shares his financial woes and I then give him unsolicited advice. I'm trying to rescue him from the fallout of poor decision...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The kids are with their dad and they spent a short time or what I would call a short time with him yesterday. Apparently he is still driving the green car and I do believe there are some hiccups because the kids asked him straight out if he bought it. His answer .. sort of .. how do you sort of buy a car .. wel...

barbaralewis · barbaralewis

if there is, could anyone please post a link to it? thanks!

likemyheart · likemyheart

I just ate a cold cheddar dog for breakfast - I know they aren't good for me, but I ate one anyway. I worked in my yard a bit before it got hot, gotta go clean a neighbors bathrooms because I'm a softie and can't say no; hey I will be old someday and not able to do the physical work involved in cleaning a bathroom...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I know everyone suffers from them but for me, they get way out of control. Like I've never danced in public; if you drag me onto the dance floor I'll just stand there looking at my feet until you let me slink away. If an entertainer calls me out in a crowd I won't reply, I just can't. I'll look at my feet until t...

el-cee · el-cee

I cant concentrate!!!!! I have the concentration of a fish. I have a deadline, the days are counting down to have this work done. I have 3 more days and im up and down, checking on here, tidying up, doing the work then oh wait, il have a cup of tea, il phone such and such. Whaàaaaaa. Procrastination is my spe...

Rusty Angel · Rusty Angel

My daughter is in suicidal despair. It literally breaks my heart. She is threatened with losing her children in a bitter custody battle, long story. I have done everything in my power to support, cheer, guide, cajole, advise her. I know I am powerless, codependent, etc but it is baffling to me...

el-cee · el-cee

JayBird66 · JayBird66

I just sat in on my first online meeting. Only a few people in it, but it was good. I didn't really share, but am hoping the next one I'm more open. I feel like I have such a LONG, HUGE mess that I wouldn't know where to start! Do I tell my story or do I share parts of it? I don't wanna D R A G it out but also need to star...

John · John

Just saw ya'll were on with me and wanted to throw a big hello out to each of you! John

neshema2 · neshema2

well today begins summer....May it bring us more happiness/ health/ abundance in all good things... I am waiting for my dinner to cook and just realized that today is 1st day of summer for us northern hemisphere folks anyway.... My public pool is closed for season...repairs...real bad to lose the se...

watchdog1999 · watchdog1999

There are nights that I literally have to chase my AH around the house. It's more exhausting than chasing my children all day. This man is not only dangerously impulsive when he drinks, but he also tends to walk around after he's fallen asleep (I know, I can't catch a break even when I think he's down for t...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

I used to behave like a dog. Smelling AH, looking at bank account, calling him to encourage him to come home... In the beginning of my disease, I believed him when he said he did not drink. In the middle, I doubted him occasionally, towards the later part, I do not believe any of his words. The interesting...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I took a little bit of a time out from posting since my thoughts were scattered and I didn't feel I had much to offer while I was so confused but I have been in reading regularly so I have kept up with everyone else's lives. I am feeling more clear-headed these days and I miss talking to everyone so I wanted to...

el-cee · el-cee

My choice was to leave, before alanon mind you. I chose to end our relationship completely about 1 year after joining alanon. I have a friend and she chose to stay to the bitter end, her husband never got sobriety and died at a young age. They lived very seperate lives, it was her and the kids and him on his o...

slowlearner · slowlearner

Whydid I stay with my AH all these years. I don't know. When we first got married I didn't realize that he had a problem with drinking (I grew up in an alcoholic family so alot of the behavior was "normal". Then the kids came along and I didn't want to be alone - though I basically was he was not...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Oh no Ilikemyheart, I heard myself in that post, I would totally be the friend telling you how to build your bloods clotting factor while you bled all over the floor, I laughed so hard at myself when I read that. Its true, oh no, I am just like that! But we are off topic here; you know an unhealthy gut can cau...

Diane Chambers · Diane Chambers

Hi there. I'm a newbie to the board though almost two years in the program. Seeking guidance/suggestions on how to handle a particular situation... I'm a single mom (I'm in my 30s, my kid is a toddler) and am soon to be divorced from my qualifier. I haven't dated anyone since my ex and I split almost tw...

neshema2 · neshema2

Thursday night, my daughter #2 found me a great lawn guy, so i got him to do my yard...great guy, great job, my oldest grandson's uncle , he is... anyway, I call Daughter to thank her profusely for helping me find a yard guy and we chat and she says "I love you mom, i miss you" and i told her th...

Lyne · Lyne

When I was newer to the board, I read from one of you, if you know the answer to a question, why ask it? That is good advice. In a difficult discussion I had with my A last week, I said that I knew she was drinking. She admitted to drinking. I can't tell whether the truth makes it better or worse, but either...

Rusty Angel · Rusty Angel

I get very confused trying to understand love. In the biblical description....love is patient, love is kind etc....it goes on to say "love is not self-seeking"......yet as a codependent I have fallen victim to negating myself, waiting on others only. Al-Anon encourages us to unde...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ah ha moment (Preview) My A has always been the kind of man that would not go to the dentist or doctor, etc, I was always reminding, begging, nagging, until one day I just said, "if you want your teeth to fall out, fine. I am done." Actually, a friend of mine said, "I stopped doing that and I just make sure the life...	blessed	7	420	Jun 26, 2014 by slowlearner
	Pruning time (Preview) This was in an online newsletter that I subscribe to and I found it appropriate for what I must do - Let Go & Let God. (edited for our purposes) The other day I was standing outside a restaurant right next to a tree that had recently been pruned. I was caring on a conversation with a friend but in the bac...	blessed	2	303	Jun 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sister's wedding: update (Preview) My sister was married last Thursday and it was beautiful. I had so much built up anxiety about it because of my strained relationship with her and our parents. A huge thunderstorm rolled in just as the ceremony began. She was married on a covered deck so it was very dramatic. Everyone was filled with exc...	StargazerLily	5	505	Jun 26, 2014 by StargazerLily
	I decided to call him (Preview) He finally answered my call I debated on wether to call him since he wasn't tryin to even get in touch with me ,I started right off fussing at him ,he is of few words lately I told him I was tired of his bs and he said why I told him the way he was actin weird he said he was feeling weird that he was dizzy he dont make...	lookingup	10	512	Jun 26, 2014 by pinkchip
	HP AT WORK??? (Preview) Hi Everyone I'm finally home and relaxing after a hard days work. My company is completely overhauling our manufacturing processes with new servers, software and every thing else you can think of. I'm one of the core team putting this together so hours and hours of extra work is now in our plates. T...	Cathyinaz	8	487	Jun 26, 2014 by PP
	Just say no.... (Preview) So the ex-A returned and tried to push the boundaries of the court order. I stuck to my boundary and said no. It actually got returned with an "ok". I will see how the exchanges go this week. I did catch him in a lie however I just chose to document it in my journal.	Truth	12	475	Jun 26, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Visualising success…. (Preview) This is for you Melly	milkwood	8	418	Jun 25, 2014 by Jen61
	Now being harassed from ex mother inlaw (Preview) I'm sorry to say this but I will not be posting anything more here not even positive not only do I have my ex A watching everything I post I got a nasty email from my active ex mother. In law badgering me . I just got done dealing with this crap and now I'm being harassed from another state. I thank you all for yo...	Wisdom67	16	3539	Jun 25, 2014 by Summerrose67
	Never stayed clean after rehab - now so angryu (Preview) I need some advice from those of you who have experience extreme anger, resentment, paranoia from their addict. My AS works for our family business (or used to, he walked out yesterday) and he has become even more angry, resentful and paranoid since coming out of rehab in Dec. I have never believed he s...	Sallygcoe	3	368	Jun 25, 2014 by hotrod
	Is using the term "qualifier" some kind of Al Anon rule?? (Preview) Honestly, I don't like the term qualifier. Is it some kind of unspoken rule that we refer to the A in our lives as a qualifier? It just sound so secretive and odd to me. Am I the only one that feels this way?? Why can't we be honest and just say who the A is?? I like being honest in my shares...so I don't use this t...	Newlife girl	12	8770	Jun 25, 2014 by maryjane
	Acknowledging I am an adult child of an alcoholic (Preview) Yesterday I acknowledged for the first time I am a survivior of an alcoholic parent. This came about through therapy for an unrelated (or so I believed) issue and I am angry. For the first time I understand why I behave the way I do, the emotional neglect I survived and the blame I carry with me every day. I...	Survivor55	9	589	Jun 25, 2014 by Survivor55
	6 Days and .. WTH happened??? (Preview) Well .. as I type this .. I just can't believe I'm actually typing this .. I'm not going to be divorced on 7/1 .. the reason? My atty suffered a stroke. Yes, .. you read that right .. I'm really in shock that this has and is happening. Now there are some good news things .. first off my atty is ok consideri...	SerenityRUS	9	553	Jun 25, 2014 by el-cee
	getting de-programmed (Preview) I had the thought this morning that alanon is de-programming me from the crazy cult I was in with my A! My thinking got distorted, I lost my self-esteem, I became obsessed with what my A was doing, and I didn't have my own life. This is exactly what happens in cults-you loose yourself and let someone els...	Lyne	2	287	Jun 25, 2014 by el-cee
	If you left your A, how did you do it? (Preview) Hi all, sorry in advance if this is a little long. I'm new to Al-Anon. I've been married to my A for 20 years (as of last week), unhappily for at least the last 6 or so. He's been active on and off for most of our marriage, but fully active for the last couple of years. He's what you might call a "functiona...	NL14	10	595	Jun 25, 2014 by Kerrymom
	new to this hurting so much (Preview) hello - I am new to all this since cNov 2013. Been attending al anon 6 weeks - am not religious but it helps. My lovely son 38 is binge drinking since Nov 2013 when his partner left with baby girl (14 months), He's always been lonely and sad and, it seems, drunk too much in secret for 20 years to ease the p...	MCALANON	20	772	Jun 25, 2014 by MCALANON
	Finanes (Preview) Because I am a "math" person; and have been in financial positions most of my career and that stuff just comes natural to me, I have always taken care of the family finances. My AH has always had a good job (in between layoffs) but has provided a good income to the family. Even though I have a bud...	blessed	10	434	Jun 25, 2014 by glad
	Opinions wanted ASAP! (Preview) My AH left Sunday night after he asked if he could go on a four wheeler ride. I knew it sounded like a bad idea but I said yes anyways because he was already out and would have done it if I had said no anyways. Well I asked him to be back in an hour-hour and 30 mins since I needed to go to the store and get OTC pain med...	deramam	10	592	Jun 25, 2014 by slowlearner
	how to stop enabling my Qualifier (Preview) I'm very very very slowly working my way back to f2f meetings..and I understand that going just to meetings won't help me as much as if I go to said meetings, find a sponsor and work the program. That being said..what are some ways I can stop enabling my Qualifier?...before I work on getting a sponsor. I f...	phoenixmagicgirl	11	815	Jun 25, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Dear Alanons............. (Preview) Dear alanons I am not going to try to name you all, because I would be so sad if I left one of you out. So I shall write globally to all of you. I want to express my deepest thanks for those of you who helped me learn and grow and become the person that I am and the person I have hopes of being... Even those of y...	neshema2	17	652	Jun 25, 2014 by karma13
	Want off the victim triangle.... (Preview) I don't know if it is just me but now I am noticing defense mechanisms. Can optimism be a defense mechanism?	Truth	23	778	Jun 25, 2014 by bud
	Is my wife Addicted to her Pain Meds ?? (Preview) My wife or really soon to be ex wife takes pain meds for her back . She says she has a slipped disck and had scoliosis as a child. I do not recall her injury during our marraige. Of course when I tell he that hse would say " How dare you for not beliveing me and how can you forget my inhury. Here is what...	Bry27	18	1675	Jun 25, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Found out .. (Preview) my former friend is not as far along as I had hoped for her to be .. she has been relapsing probably on a regular basis .. I really hope and pray that she finds peace in the program .. I remind myself she's going back and there is always hope .. I was right to pull away when I did and allow things to play out. She i...	SerenityRUS	5	396	Jun 24, 2014 by Green Eyes
	Eating my elephant. (Preview) This past week hasn't been the easiest I've ever had. But, one foot in front of the other, you know. Cat peed on one of my pillows to cheer me up; I threw it out and the next day he peed on my other pillow- he always knows just how to make things better! No pillows for me for a while because I can't afford anythi...	missmeliss	26	764	Jun 24, 2014 by blessed
	Happy Birthday Erica (Preview) She would have been 36 years old today. She passed at the age of 12 from cancer. She was my childhood best friend. There are no coincidences. I feel truly blessed to have had the chance to have known such a beautiful soul here on earth at such a young age. Although sorrow in her passing she left us with an acc...	Mari1978	4	428	Jun 24, 2014 by hotrod
	New husband who is 10 years sober. (Preview) I'm an old acquaintance here. Love Alanon...and what it did for me years ago when I was in a long term relationship with a very active alcoholic. Well...as it turns out. I left him...and stayed single for years. I then met a beautiful man...who as it turns out...was an A too. Go figure!!! This man though...	newday	6	642	Jun 24, 2014 by karma13
	Being Banned from Al-Anon for Being Late (Preview) I, as well as many others walk in late to meetings. I have medical issues, etc making it difficult to walk. Some of the seasoned members came together outside of the group and decided they want to ban me for coming in late. One of the other members who was speaking and I walked in quietly, getting a copy of...	licoricecat	24	1210	Jun 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Control (Preview) This is a word that means a different things to different people; generally it is spoken of as a bad thing. My A spouse loves to say I am controlling. However, I have thought about this and meditated on it and to be "in control" is not nescesarily a bad thing. Someone has to be. We expect adults t...	blessed	3	589	Jun 24, 2014 by el-cee
	Not sure really what to say... (Preview) I've never posted on a message board before so excuse me if this is not the correct way to go about it. I am assuming I just share a little bit of info and go from there but please tell me if this is incorrect. Here's some information about me and my situation: I have been married to an alcoholic for 8 years now...	leslina	14	632	Jun 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	I just passed on a pals 50th B-Day party, am I wrong? (Preview) A pal is having his 50th today. It was supposed to be 1-5 by the club pool, then dinner at 6. I went to the club and he had left everybody to go pass out, so everyone was just sitting around talking about him. I figured maybe he would be OK for dinner. So my wife and I get all dressed up, (her in a new outfit I bough...	Quanttrader	16	512	Jun 24, 2014 by pinkchip
	STEP 9 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57909945/alanon-step-9/	hotrod	0	207	Jun 24, 2014 by hotrod
	On vacation (Preview) Daughter and kids are in for a visit,we all decided to take a week in destin Fla.beautiful place,I don't see my a bf but very little he says he is working all the time so he seldom calls and hardly ever answer my calls.i don't understand him anymore I don't know what's going on with him he went from loveing m...	lookingup	6	582	Jun 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	letter from parents to adult alcoholic son - good idea or not? (Preview) as noted in a post elsewhere on here recently, I'm new to Al Anon having discovered my AS is binge drinking since Nov 2013. I've seen reference to people writing to the A explaining 1 they are loved but 2 all the damage/loss the drinking has caused. I've even seen the odd 'template' online. Does Al Anon...	MCALANON	7	763	Jun 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	OlderGal (Preview) Hey are you OK up there. I heard about the 8.0 Earthquake. Look like it's far from you. Let us know Cathy -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Monday 23rd of June 2014 04:51:01 PM	Cathyinaz	5	293	Jun 23, 2014 by hotrod
	15 minute share (Preview) I have a question about a meeting i attend. One person there always Speaks for 15 minutes and i feel it comes from a place of ego. I get Very impatient with her. She tells her story but in the process is trying To educate us. Does every group have someone like this? She is the Same person that raises h if there...	Mirandac	12	822	Jun 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sobriety baby (Preview) Hi all, I have not been on for a while although still been attending my face to face meetings. I just wanted to share my good news with you all. 5 weeks ago I got my first Grand child a little girl 6lb 3 Kiera she is beautiful and the first child to be born while we have sobriety in our home. In the dark days I cou...	Tracy	7	376	Jun 23, 2014 by el-cee
	Great weekend.. (Preview) Considering all.. It was a great weekend and my daughter was such a beautiful flower girl..	Gaby	10	317	Jun 23, 2014 by el-cee
	Is he trying to find an excuse? Too much information...Sorry... (Preview) Hi. Since finding MIP and going to my 1st meeting I have been practicing the 1st step and the slogans and I have been improving so much. On my last thread I explained how H came drunk on Monday and I didn't fight and treated him with silence. He has been baffled since and didn't get drunk on Tuesday and Wedne...	Luiza	29	1037	Jun 23, 2014 by Rusty Angel
	11 Days .. (Preview) 11 Days and counting .. I am ok, then not, then ok again and then not. I'm kind of laughing at myself .. I used to do the whole he's been gone for xyz days .. LOL .. now I'm on the reverse count down and it's a mixed bag of feelings, facts and number crunching. I guess I am the odd man out on this and I have found I c...	SerenityRUS	8	544	Jun 22, 2014 by PP
	I will be honest ... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) There are some people in here that regardless how I share what I feel at the moment make me feel low. For one NESHEMA. You make me feel as if I have to things your way. As I read my esh you down talk me. That deeply hurts because here as every one else. As much as you say take what you want and leave the rest.. You ?...	Gaby	47	1432	Jun 22, 2014 by John
	Struggling with an old defect (Preview) I'm having a lot of difficulty with staying on my own side of the street lately. My recovering abf is working through some financial issues and I'm interfering in his life. He shares his financial woes and I then give him unsolicited advice. I'm trying to rescue him from the fallout of poor decision...	tiredtonite	8	490	Jun 22, 2014 by grateful2be
	Very nice day .. (Preview) The kids are with their dad and they spent a short time or what I would call a short time with him yesterday. Apparently he is still driving the green car and I do believe there are some hiccups because the kids asked him straight out if he bought it. His answer .. sort of .. how do you sort of buy a car .. wel...	SerenityRUS	5	376	Jun 22, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	is there an abbreviation list? (Preview) if there is, could anyone please post a link to it? thanks!	barbaralewis	8	2514	Jun 22, 2014 by blessed
	Hotdogs (Preview) I just ate a cold cheddar dog for breakfast - I know they aren't good for me, but I ate one anyway. I worked in my yard a bit before it got hot, gotta go clean a neighbors bathrooms because I'm a softie and can't say no; hey I will be old someday and not able to do the physical work involved in cleaning a bathroom...	likemyheart	7	390	Jun 22, 2014 by el-cee
	Nerves. (Preview) I know everyone suffers from them but for me, they get way out of control. Like I've never danced in public; if you drag me onto the dance floor I'll just stand there looking at my feet until you let me slink away. If an entertainer calls me out in a crowd I won't reply, I just can't. I'll look at my feet until t...	missmeliss	18	555	Jun 22, 2014 by el-cee
	im a goldfish (Preview) I cant concentrate!!!!! I have the concentration of a fish. I have a deadline, the days are counting down to have this work done. I have 3 more days and im up and down, checking on here, tidying up, doing the work then oh wait, il have a cup of tea, il phone such and such. Whaàaaaaa. Procrastination is my spe...	el-cee	10	525	Jun 22, 2014 by el-cee
	how can I be happy when you are in despair? (Preview) My daughter is in suicidal despair. It literally breaks my heart. She is threatened with losing her children in a bitter custody battle, long story. I have done everything in my power to support, cheer, guide, cajole, advise her. I know I am powerless, codependent, etc but it is baffling to me...	Rusty Angel	8	545	Jun 22, 2014 by hotrod
	A Prayer (Preview)	el-cee	6	700	Jun 22, 2014 by hotrod
	MEETING #1 (finally) (Preview) I just sat in on my first online meeting. Only a few people in it, but it was good. I didn't really share, but am hoping the next one I'm more open. I feel like I have such a LONG, HUGE mess that I wouldn't know where to start! Do I tell my story or do I share parts of it? I don't wanna D R A G it out but also need to star...	JayBird66	5	251	Jun 22, 2014 by grateful2be
	pinkchip, SerenityRUS, Cathyinaz, milkwood, ClearTheFog, el-cee, grateful2be, missmeliss, oldergal, yanksfan51 (Preview) Just saw ya'll were on with me and wanted to throw a big hello out to each of you! John	John	13	468	Jun 22, 2014 by grateful2be
	HAPPY 1st DAY OF SUMMER EVERYONE!!!!!! (Preview) well today begins summer....May it bring us more happiness/ health/ abundance in all good things... I am waiting for my dinner to cook and just realized that today is 1st day of summer for us northern hemisphere folks anyway.... My public pool is closed for season...repairs...real bad to lose the se...	neshema2	6	372	Jun 22, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	When you're chasing the A more than your kids.... (Preview) There are nights that I literally have to chase my AH around the house. It's more exhausting than chasing my children all day. This man is not only dangerously impulsive when he drinks, but he also tends to walk around after he's fallen asleep (I know, I can't catch a break even when I think he's down for t...	watchdog1999	9	461	Jun 22, 2014 by sunshine23
	OCD (Preview) I used to behave like a dog. Smelling AH, looking at bank account, calling him to encourage him to come home... In the beginning of my disease, I believed him when he said he did not drink. In the middle, I doubted him occasionally, towards the later part, I do not believe any of his words. The interesting...	sunshine23	4	905	Jun 22, 2014 by el-cee
	Recovery Is Confusing, Hard & Wonderful (Preview) I took a little bit of a time out from posting since my thoughts were scattered and I didn't feel I had much to offer while I was so confused but I have been in reading regularly so I have kept up with everyone else's lives. I am feeling more clear-headed these days and I miss talking to everyone so I wanted to...	wornoutmrsfixit	13	1488	Jun 22, 2014 by wornoutmrsfixit
	choosing to stay or go (Preview) My choice was to leave, before alanon mind you. I chose to end our relationship completely about 1 year after joining alanon. I have a friend and she chose to stay to the bitter end, her husband never got sobriety and died at a young age. They lived very seperate lives, it was her and the kids and him on his o...	el-cee	25	728	Jun 21, 2014 by Jerry F
	Years wasted???? (Preview) Whydid I stay with my AH all these years. I don't know. When we first got married I didn't realize that he had a problem with drinking (I grew up in an alcoholic family so alot of the behavior was "normal". Then the kids came along and I didn't want to be alone - though I basically was he was not...	slowlearner	9	596	Jun 21, 2014 by andromeda
	@ Ilikemyheart (Preview) Oh no Ilikemyheart, I heard myself in that post, I would totally be the friend telling you how to build your bloods clotting factor while you bled all over the floor, I laughed so hard at myself when I read that. Its true, oh no, I am just like that! But we are off topic here; you know an unhealthy gut can cau...	missmeliss	12	453	Jun 21, 2014 by likemyheart
	Dating another member in the Al-Anon program (Preview) Hi there. I'm a newbie to the board though almost two years in the program. Seeking guidance/suggestions on how to handle a particular situation... I'm a single mom (I'm in my 30s, my kid is a toddler) and am soon to be divorced from my qualifier. I haven't dated anyone since my ex and I split almost tw...	Diane Chambers	7	1056	Jun 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	Wish me luck, you all (Preview) Thursday night, my daughter #2 found me a great lawn guy, so i got him to do my yard...great guy, great job, my oldest grandson's uncle , he is... anyway, I call Daughter to thank her profusely for helping me find a yard guy and we chat and she says "I love you mom, i miss you" and i told her th...	neshema2	10	378	Jun 21, 2014 by neshema2
	hard truth (Preview) When I was newer to the board, I read from one of you, if you know the answer to a question, why ask it? That is good advice. In a difficult discussion I had with my A last week, I said that I knew she was drinking. She admitted to drinking. I can't tell whether the truth makes it better or worse, but either...	Lyne	3	264	Jun 21, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	pity vs love (Preview) I get very confused trying to understand love. In the biblical description....love is patient, love is kind etc....it goes on to say "love is not self-seeking"......yet as a codependent I have fallen victim to negating myself, waiting on others only. Al-Anon encourages us to unde...	Rusty Angel	13	1334	Jun 21, 2014 by missmeliss
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.