I'm scared of driving on expressways and sometimes I just can't avoid doing that. Repeating a phrase that helps me focus on something other than my fear (for me it is: "I can do all things through the HP that strengthens me") helps me do what I need to do without freakin'. My hands might sweat and my stomach might clutch but I keep my eyes open, my hands on the wheel, drive defensively by checking my mirrors, stay out of the way of impatient drivers, keep my car straight and on the road at the posted speeds (plus 5 but I don't recommend this for drivers taking their tests), and just keep repeating the mantra to myself (I also don't recommend saying anything out loud with your tester in the car.) You'll do just fine getting there and staying there and doing what you know you can do-you've already done it with your driving instructor. You're not on trial and you are a smart, good and wise driver who gets to practice a little more how free she's going to be with her own car and license come test day.

lol @ probiotics

When Catherine said not to say a mantra out loud with the tester in the car I was giggling to myself imagining repeating out loud over and over "just picture him naked, just picture him naked" lol!

-- Edited by missmeliss on Sunday 22nd of June 2014 11:34:22 AM

It's easy Melly just burn this to CD pop it into the player and practice by visualizing yourself driving,

these hotties will get you through the nerves to pass that silly test!

Away you go!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBl5DTZKI8g&index=13&list=PLEA29754AA9212E35

Good Luck, you are prepared to do this and you won't believe when you are done just how easy it all was!

MG

My wise counselor used to call this "Doing dread."  She would say that I was just hypothesizing bad things happening (at the party, or if I danced, or if I spoke, or wherever) and she wanted to me to notice how things really went instead of doing dread about how they might go.  Come to find out that the bad things I was anticipating did not happen after all, which was a very interesting conclusion.  Earth did not swallow me up, whole counties of people did not turn and jeer, hand of God did not point down and say "Isn't this one incompetent?"    Meanwhile the noticing was very interesting to me.  I saw that the F.E.A.R, False Evidence Appearing Real, was a big thing for me.

Meanwhile she pointed out that every time I stopped doing what I was going to because of the anxiety, I was "rewarding" the system.  So my nervous system thought, "We did the right thing!  We got anxious and the problem went away!  Remember to get anxious next time!"  Whereas when I went ahead and did the thing, the doing was rewarded (by relief and self-congratulation) instead of the anxiety.  I had been training myself to feel anxious.  Oops!

Go get 'em in that driving test!  Remember we're all virtually in the car with you cheering you on!

Doing dread is a good word for it Mattie. Even my driving instructor made me stop the other day and said "you're so worried that you're going to do something wrong that its overwhelming you when you're actually doing fine".

Kenny, I like that idea. Now, what is scarier than the driving test? I could go and get some more teeth pulled out, lol!!!
I'll have to think of something a bit less counter-productive but, yes. I will do something that seems super- scary in the next couple of days. Hmm. Thinking...

Mel, I used to be like you! It took lots of time to build myself up. Part is I learned to love me. Love my sensitivity. Who cares if you blow it? if one is self confidant they know we all make mistakes. Also honestly no one cares as much as you think they do if you do mess up.

I would invite you to look at all your good points! Write them down. I mean all of them, your bod too! Focus on those words in your head being positive and never ever negative! NO "I have big ugly feet." stay stop, put in, "I have feet that work, I paint my toe nails pink and purple, I can swim cuz of my lovely feet." Or my stomach is so fat. stop.I have a tummy becuz I am blessed with my lovely daughter who stretched it out to make room for the sweet baby she was.

I am good, I am kind,I am a beautiful woman. I smell good, i like my eyes. i like how funny I am, I like how I can find fun things at thrift shops. i like how I love animals. i like how i am patient with A. I like how i am working towards not living with A.

only positive. negative is NEVER good! serves no purpose.

so its ok to pull over and take a breath! that is you taking care of yourself. Its ok to never get up and talk in public.Its ok to be nervous about talking in group. when you feel comfy someday you will. when you do, as uncomfy as it may seem, you will learn you did not get tar and feathered for speaking at an al anon meeting! (c:

you are precious just how you are. I mean it. And look at that unique cute daughter! Melly when ya feel nervous, its ok to say I am ok just how i am or everything is ok. I rarely get like that but when I do, ugh it can go on for  day or two then I think wait aminute. then I pray lots and give it to my hp!

It always works.

i believe the more confidant you get of yourself by meeting challenges the more you will become a person who loves the person they are.

you could even stop the neg and say I am awesome!

Taking three deep breaths, when you inhale push your stomach out. drop your elbows. do good things for you.

go play with the dog! make jewelry! get a camera and take pics. hugs! Post pics of your animals and whatever here. I would love LOVE to see that!

 

Mel, I have suffered anxiety and been on medications and had therapy that helped some but nothing helped as much as slowly walking through my fears with support from AA/Alanon and that is what I already see you doing.

Of course the family already gave you great ESH, but I just wanted to love on you! Sometimes I have to think back about a really bad day and just remember today is not that day and today has the opportunity to be the best day ever! Sending you lots of love and support on your journey!

I do know that courage is fear that has said it's prayers. For me, repeating the serenity prayer continually in my mind, refusing to project into the future or travel to the past,then keep doing the next right thing and staying were my feet were, helped me walk through certification tests, driving tests and ERs.
It works Good Luck Ms. You are a capable, intelligent, compassionate, talented woman and can do this.