Would you, if you could? - Al-Anon Family Group

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

Would you, if you could?

SunshineGirl · Senior Member

Hey LikeMyHeart

Interesting question. No, I wouldn't go back and undo anything. I like myself now and the person I am. It was a hard won. I enjoy the calm, quiet person I am now.

I was glad to let go of the manic, angry, enabling, codie person I was. Also I don't regret becoming an A or being ACOA. It lead me to work on myself and move forward with the gift of serenity. I cherish my nearly four years clean and working my program. My life is satisfying and peaceful now. I don't think this would have happened if I had not reached crisis point. Where I found the courage to face the pain. Make the changes.

Jill · ~*Service Worker*~

Good question. I think my way of going back and doing over is to create the change I want for before and implement it in the present and future. Painful lessons? I figure I've already paid that tuition, so I want to learn from them.
I enjoyed your snort!

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Good question, LMH. There have been times when I've considered what a do-over might look like - especially when I'm caught up in the anguish of watching my A son drag himself through fire and mud. But the truth remains - there is no guarantee that a do over would have resulted in anything better for me or for him or for my family. I could only walk the path that appeared to open up to me. It was the way I walked it that was something I could change. I can't say I'm thrilled with all that has occurred and I can say that my HP has been with me through it all. That's gold to me.

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

On balance? Probably not, it would be a scary thing to do I think. I might find out that I would have preferred my life with some different choices and where would that leave me now? It is what it is so to speak. It is an interesting question though since it points to things that I might like to experience but haven't yet. Thank you for that thought.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree with you, the cost of awareness was a high price. I would only go back if I got to take it with me. I would love my old body and my 20s with this head.x

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I wouldn't go back and redo anything. I don't let myself would have, could, have, should have or only if.... it is pointless and I am who I am for everything that has come to pass. I feel it's a dangerous head space for me that I already spent too much time visiting in the past. LOL I love the idea of my younger body, but it came with a naïve brain! Sending you love and support!

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

el cee: uhm, well uh, on the subject of that head.................well, never mind. If you like it, you like it? Who am I to think that a comb for hair Mohawk style isn't the bomb for your noggin?

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 17th of June 2014 05:44:33 PM

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Yes, I would go back. I would go back and be more expressive with my love for my loved ones.

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

yea, i've looked back and done the "if onlys" but it is counterproductive to my recovery so i stop it , it is what it is...can't undo the past, just learn and move on.....it took a lot of recovery work for me to make the decision to just not go back there.....not unless a new memory comes up and i have to deal with it, and make amends where necessary.....

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Choices for me are always dicey and of course hindsight is still 20X20 right? I could have done things different back then; I had the opportunity and then still made the choices I made. If there was nothing new to learn and no "progress" to be had what effort would I have used to get change and different outcomes. I learned in Al-Anon that there are a gazillion alternatives to the choices I think of and then make learning how to listen, learn and practice other choices made the journey the best part of my now and I am still practicing. Yay!! Keep coming back ((((hugs)))) smile

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I guess I would say yes if I knew what I do now.

I feel I would have grown into someone I liked. i like me now but at what costs? I would love to go back and know about AA and Al Anon and not have my husband die at 27.

That one split second action of him dieing killed who I was, who I could have been. I believe the same to be true for my daughter. She was damaged by losing him.

ugh. hugs honey!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Nice Thread I would get to alanon 10 years earlier, pray more and worry less

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

Well, I can think of all kinds of mistakes I made in the past. I could go back and fix those perhaps, but I'm sure some other set of issues would crop up, and who knows if I would be back in the same, better, or worse place?

Most religions tell us we will have troubles or suffering. Jesus said it, and Buddha said it. So I think if we went back, it wouldn't make much difference in the overall scheme of things.

Kenny

-- Edited by KennyFenderjazz on Wednesday 18th of June 2014 09:33:46 AM

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

I would go back to when I was a kid and leave myself a picture of my teeth now and a life-time supply of dental floss lol. But I wouldn't change much else

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Hey grateful, my headless chicken is gorgeous you know, she does bare a striking resemblence of me but she has got to go soon, shes giving away my anonymity.lol

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

biggrin el cee! You are so right. By now, I would know that almost face anywhere - especially with the red Mohawk comb hair and the sexy shoes. I do think you'd stand out in a crowd. biggrin

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 18th of June 2014 11:39:13 AM

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