Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

slowlearner · slowlearner

I've been practicing the steps and going to on-line meetings and came to realize something that I was doing that I don't like. I play the role of the victim - didn't realize I was doing this until I started analyzing my behavior. I don't do it all the time but I do do it. I get the poor me, self-pity thing g...

el-cee · el-cee

I had to ask my son to leave a few times over the last few years because of his drinking as some of my friends here knows. So the last time he stayed with me was after he was hurt and left hospital, he then went to stay with a friend and he met someone. She is a really nice girl, friendly, sensible, calm, funny....

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Holidays can be hard in most of our situations and I remember last year sitting on the couch SO lonely on the 4th of July. I caught the televised fireworks from DC and since I'm only a couple of hours away and it is something I have always wanted to do, I vowed that this would be the year. I still don't know if m...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I've been reading a lot of the posts on this board lately, but I havent posted replies because Im new. When I read the threads, its like Im sitting in on an open discussion, but Im doing all the listening. Recently I read some discussion threads on denial. Wow, how I could relate to these!! For many years...

watts · watts

I feel as if I've been through the same thing over and over....sure, I tweak it and I get slightly different results, but none that get me out of this cycle. 12 years together, alcohol used to be fun at first, nights out, friends, laughter....but then I got pregnant 2 years into the relationship. Thin...

astallaslions · astallaslions

He's gone. I made him leave. We are broken up. When I finally said enough was enough, my heart broke. I had several panic attacks. My appetite has been ruined since he left. I lost my father to cancer, and this is such a very different, very specific form of grief, but I don't regret my decision. I know i did...

lookingup · lookingup

What of all the alanon tools do I need right now in my sit. dealing with my a bf????serenity prayer being one.

Lyne · Lyne

I recently spoke to someone who is leaving her A husband after many years. She has been going to alanon for 9 years, and she said something I will never forget: "9 years of alanon prepared me for this moment!" I loved hearing that and I see the empowerment through recovery, Lyne

glad · glad

Kinda of an odd day,, I've found myself thinking of my ex father in law who passed away a couple of years ago several times and wondered why I felt like I "missed" him today. Missed is not the right word but best I can do. Anyway then I noticed a reminder on my face book page (from an old account o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a bit of a reality jolt my STBAX is trying to foist his new "friend" on the kids and has officially said she's his girlfriend. That hit me .. not because I have any hallucinations of wanting him back ... because I am really beyond ready to let go of the relationship in its entirety. So of c...

Debilyn · Debilyn

well bits and pieces. all are of my husband who died. Our two babies...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable. It seems Im back at step one. Admitting that I am powerless over alcohol was easy, but actually stopping the battle or war is another thing altogether. Ive never been a quitter, and throwing in the towel to alcohol is te...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

The 4th of July is my AH's favorite holiday. He likes to blow things up. Seriously. I am hating him one day, then wanting to share a holiday with him the next. I am trying to create something in my life that has NEVER existed!! My 2 marriages have been LIES and HURT the majority of the time. So why do I feel lon...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Now I'm not making a plan right here because my plans, in recent years and especially recent months, just don't happen the way I say that they should. So I'm just saying, this is interesting. It piques my curiosity. I intend to explore it further. I was talking to a dear friend of the al-anon persuasion...

lookingup · lookingup

i can't get it off my mind my a bf affairs ,it's not good to bring it up to him everyday,makes him upset cause he says it's in the past,and I keep bringing it up to him everyday I guess I'm trying to get closer with what he did,I know he has been good to me ever since but I'm haveing such a huge problem with it and d...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I never seem to find myself motivated to do Gratitude & Asset list daily anymore. So, I'll start this thread where we can do them and maybe anyone who is interested can also add theirs daily and we can see how long we can keep it going

I think it will work because if people add to it daily it should sta...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

My AH does not want to hear me tell him I can't ever live with him again so he told me today to be expecting a call from his lawyer this week. Made me laugh. he doesn't have a job. His emotions are all over the place. I think it was an idle threat, but it also scared me a bit. Then I realized...I don't have to talk t...

lookingup · lookingup

Is it normal to hate your a bf?i e been unable to cope all day due to his blame ing me for his affairs,I feel soo much hate for him I e got to let it go and somehow realize what he really is I need to also stop letting him see me like this.what happens if I were to get cleaned up and just leave and go out .prolly nothi...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I kind of had a bit of an epiphany today, I had a go round with my STBAX yesterday afternoon over the visitation .. he's scheduling work when he should have the kids and honestly I'm sure would have forgotten about it had I not text him. One of his parting digs was I can take any situation and make it com...

lookingup · lookingup

I've pushed my a bf soo far for soo long that he decided to get involved with anot her woman this morning I found texts on his cell while he was asleep messages saying from him to her and visa versa I love you soo much and am missing you already etc etc it hurt me soo bad she is married also to a 70 y/o man ,and acti...

Luiza · Luiza

Hi all. Things have been a lot calmer in my household/mind/heart for the last few days, thanks HP, MIP, Al_Anon! However today I kind of wobbled a little bit. It is Friday night and H has the weekend off (and we know what it means). I have been swimming in coursework and research for the last 2 weeks as tomo...

blessed · blessed

One of the greatest challenges for me, mentally, has been the idea that alcoholism is a disease. I am not closed to the idea, but have to understand how it came to be. I have listened to opinion, and also scientific "evidence" and views from the medical community. There is a wide range of view...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Medicare goofed, my meds were not ready due to expired card. NO it wasn't but I had to clean up the mess...its ok now. I keep thinking about my xah. making me nuts. My son has not gone to check on him yet. But in reality, I want to see him. I have checked on him since I was 17. this is the longest I have ever gone. I...

lookingup · lookingup

Assets...compassionate,careing,supportive,generous,loveing,understanding

missmeliss · missmeliss

Wow I had some bad days there. Daughter is away, the bad news just kept coming and coming, every silver lining turned out to be a bigger blacker cloud coming from behind, lol I let it get on top of me big time. I got into bed and I stayed there for days. No-one needs to tell me that isn't healthy or good but i did...

Katy · Katy

He was vile towards me and played head games the whole time, a lone traveller asked us if he could join us for breakfast at our table in the hotel, my husband said yes of course mate, which led to the bloke walking about with us during the day, I thought I was just being polite to talk to this man who had been go...

Lyne · Lyne

What I learned about love from my family of origin is that love hurts, love is abusive, life was scary and unpredictable, and nobody was going to help me. It now makes sense that both my first marriage and my current marriage, is to alcoholics/addicts, emotionally abusive, and unavailable people....

grateful2be · grateful2be

Today was the last day of my working life in the non-profit sector. Starting at 7:15 a.m., I was busy with all the loose ends that needed to be tied up for the business and for the transfers of properties. The board president loaded my car with what was left of my personal items to add to the boxes that wer...

e_t245 · e_t245

I need some advice on how to explain to my boyfriend that his drinking makes me uncomfortable. He's not an alcoholic, but likes to have a beer or two after work or wine with dinner. Which is fine, but because I grew up with an alcoholic father this everyday-drinking (even if it's not excessive) does make...

milkwood · milkwood

I'm in a bit of a dilemma about which hat to wear for Pinkchip's wedding? This might be a bit too Woodstock?? THE LOVING HEART Someone may love you because you are clever Someone may love you because you are wise Someone may love you for beauty or humour The fun in your heart or the light in your eyes But if...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

So I'm happy to say that I've started going to f2f meetings, on Tuesdays and Fridays. I'm also reading CAL which has really helped. I'm still very angry when I talk about my Qualifier to my family members and they are quick to remind me of this.. but I'm having trouble letting go of being so angry.. how do I...

pinkchip · pinkchip

We are checked into our wedding suite. It is beautiful with a deck/balcony overlooking downtown Annapolis. Our priest (episcopal) flew in right after us. Parents visited. All is shaping up well. A few last minute cancelations of people but nothing major. Holy crap guys! I'm actually getting marr...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm really trying to stay present and grateful and hopeful that this new job in the old workplace will be different but inwardly I'm not believing it for a minute. I've been looking for another job elsewhere but after this experience I don't want to end up somewhere more dysfunctional. I want to make...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

Hi Everyone. I began going to Al-Anon meetings about a month ago. I have lived with an active alcoholic for the passed 15 years, and it has gotten bad these passed 3or 4 years. I never considered myself having a problem until I began attending the meetings and reading Al-Anon literature. Wow, what an e...

el-cee · el-cee

The self awareness and revelations just keep coming and I thought I knew it all already. I have not got this completely straight yet in my mind but it just came to me and sometimes writing it out here helps me see it clearly. Step 2 says a power greater than me will restore me to sanity, I got this on one level...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I have been reading some of the threads and I came across this from krama13, Letting go letting god~ detachment with love. It means I love my husband enough to let him have the dignity to make his own choices. Whether or not I agree with them, and I try try my best one day at a time to work my program, and keep t...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I just got out of my first session with a counselor. Glad to finely find one that I connect with. I talked about how I am at a crossroads. I am recently separated (for a 2nd time). I feel like that for us to be functioning HE needs to be functioning. The just stopping drinking does not equal functioning. I mo...

PP · PP

Jerry F · Jerry F

that was confirmed years later in recovery and maybe she was speaking from her awareness and experience regarding alcoholism in her/family and wasn't saying alcoholism. We had a cat "Snowy" who had kittens. Blacky was the poppa and the kittens were either white...or...black. One o...

NewAndImprovedMe · NewAndImprovedMe

Here's my story/share: My wife and I have been married for 12 years and together 16. We have 2 children 5 and 9 months. My wife is almost 2 years sober (in September). Last year was a m*******r of a year. After debating whether or not to have another kid, I convinced my wife to get pregnant and then it al...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

mongowal · mongowal

My STBEXAH bought my daughter concert tickets for her birthday. I happy for my daughter to be able to see her favorite singer, but I have a couple issues. First the concert is out of state, she will have to travel 1200 miles to go to the concert. Secondly, the concert is during my week with her. My S...

MCALANON · MCALANON

so my adult son decided a week ago to detox/cut down. It was unbearable seeing him do this when I visited. But, a week on, he's not drunk as much - claims to have had nothing for 2 days. He's been to 1 AA meeting. Says he'll continue. Yesterday his work said he was to be disciplined for poor performance (they...

texasgal · texasgal

I'm packing my apt and I'm getting ready to make my big move. My job starts Aug 4th. I move in a couple weeks to get settled in before I start. It's all very exciting and sad at the same time. I start to pack and I start to cry. I get mixed emotions. My HP has aligned everything for me from the new job to the apt and...

NL14 · NL14

AH and I had (another) big talk on Monday night. I've been building up to this for a while, but was waiting until our kids were out of the house for camp. Actually, I was planning to tell him I wanted a divorce, but I've been dithering around for ages, not able to make that final decision. Then (I posted abou...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm neither sad or happy at the moment or maybe it's a combination of both .. I wish I had a better word for it. Disappointment maybe is a better word. The divorce date and time has passed and now I wait for a new date .. ugh .. I hate the waiting and realized that this is probably the God of my understandings...

blessed · blessed

As a Christain, I struggled with AlAnon's HP as my HP is the God of heaven and earth, Creator. Can I work the program with God as my HP? Will I be allowed to? Does the program contradict the Word of God? Well, I have prayed and searched the Scriptures and there is a little fuzzy in the "ME" aspect,...

PP · PP

I have to make a decision about a part time job I currently have at a woman's consignment clothing store and I am so torn. I enjoy this job, I like the customers, I get to shop while I work, I sing to the music and I get to enjoy the pretty clothes. Many of you may recall, I encountered a young man this past win...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So I have issues. I see 13 people have read my post about living in a crazy life...nobody replies so my head starts spinning!! I start questioning if I should have posted at all. I am trusting online strangers to help me. But you really aren;t strangers, right? We understand living with alcoholism. I am...

NL14 · NL14

Yesterday, my AH and I went to the beach. Our kids had left for camp earlier in the morning, so it was just the two of us. I've been thinking this time alone would be a good time to address our problems...again...and to tell him I want to end our marriage, and I've been dreading/anticipating the weeks when...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Own property in Ash Fork in Coconino County AZ. Got a letter from the county assessors office asking for information on the Manufactured Home built on the property??? WHAT!!!! Somebody just decided to set up living on our property. What a mess we have on our hands. I hope we can get the coun...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

PINKCHIPWE LOVE YOU

slowlearner · slowlearner

I am working on the first few steps and had a moment of clarity today. I am learning to sit back and quietly feel my emotions and to figure out where they are coming from. Today at work I was feeling so frustrated and overwhelmed and realized it was because I couldn't so no to requests and also try to contr...

blessed · blessed

This evening I had already showered and had on PJs when know there was a knock on the door. My AH rarely answers the door, or the phone or does anything at all around the house, etc. Another knock. I called out, "Can you answer the door? I'm in my pajamas." He did, with a huff (he huggs/sighs a lot...

MCALANON · MCALANON

so my adult son decided a week ago to detox/cut down. It was unbearable seeing him do this when I visited. But, a week on, he's not drunk as much - claims to have had nothing for 2 days. He's been to 1 AA meeting. Says he'll continue. Yesterday his work said he was to be disciplined for poor performance (they...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Today I find I'm back in my head again wondering if I made right choices . Feeling like I failed in so many ways . I hate this side of me that allows the negative thinking take over anything positive thought I have going on . I'm going back to step one again . I think it's the hardest step to pass . Why can't I acc...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I'm ready to call the attorney and give her the green light on filing my divorce papers. Before I tell my story of the weekend, let me say that there were a few times in this year of my husband's sobriety where I thought things seemed odd and wondered if he was drinking but he would get in his car with the cou...

Lyne · Lyne

Denial is a truly amazing defense mechanism. I think I was in it for many yrs re: the seriousness of my A's problems. And the A is in it so deeply~everything is OK, there are no problems, and what am I still concerned with? And before I got stronger, the A could manipulate me and confuse me. Once when I k...

andromeda · andromeda

My AH has been going to AA meetings now for about 3 weeks. I do not know if he is working with a sponsor since we barely communicate with each other and he really doesn't even talk about where he's going or telling us he's going to a meeting, etc. He has not told our son about his recover, either. I came hom...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Just feeling numb from it all. Please give me your thoughts after reading. Desperately need understanding people who get what I am going through. All I am trying to do is get along with my AH. We are still not living together. He still doesn't have a job. I have to realize I am powerless over the fact he has...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Not using my victim card anymore (Preview) I've been practicing the steps and going to on-line meetings and came to realize something that I was doing that I don't like. I play the role of the victim - didn't realize I was doing this until I started analyzing my behavior. I don't do it all the time but I do do it. I get the poor me, self-pity thing g...	slowlearner	7	1026	Jul 6, 2014 by slowlearner
	my son today (Preview) I had to ask my son to leave a few times over the last few years because of his drinking as some of my friends here knows. So the last time he stayed with me was after he was hurt and left hospital, he then went to stay with a friend and he met someone. She is a really nice girl, friendly, sensible, calm, funny....	el-cee	15	564	Jul 6, 2014 by PP
	Didn't Brood This Holiday Away (Preview) Holidays can be hard in most of our situations and I remember last year sitting on the couch SO lonely on the 4th of July. I caught the televised fireworks from DC and since I'm only a couple of hours away and it is something I have always wanted to do, I vowed that this would be the year. I still don't know if m...	wornoutmrsfixit	5	361	Jul 6, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Denial (Preview) I've been reading a lot of the posts on this board lately, but I havent posted replies because Im new. When I read the threads, its like Im sitting in on an open discussion, but Im doing all the listening. Recently I read some discussion threads on denial. Wow, how I could relate to these!! For many years...	cloudyskies	6	496	Jul 6, 2014 by grateful2be
	Groundhog Day (Preview) I feel as if I've been through the same thing over and over....sure, I tweak it and I get slightly different results, but none that get me out of this cycle. 12 years together, alcohol used to be fun at first, nights out, friends, laughter....but then I got pregnant 2 years into the relationship. Thin...	watts	7	435	Jul 6, 2014 by el-cee
	He is gone (Preview) He's gone. I made him leave. We are broken up. When I finally said enough was enough, my heart broke. I had several panic attacks. My appetite has been ruined since he left. I lost my father to cancer, and this is such a very different, very specific form of grief, but I don't regret my decision. I know i did...	astallaslions	10	529	Jul 6, 2014 by unicornhunter
	Tools (Preview) What of all the alanon tools do I need right now in my sit. dealing with my a bf????serenity prayer being one.	lookingup	4	317	Jul 5, 2014 by tiredtonite
	the power of alanon (Preview) I recently spoke to someone who is leaving her A husband after many years. She has been going to alanon for 9 years, and she said something I will never forget: "9 years of alanon prepared me for this moment!" I loved hearing that and I see the empowerment through recovery, Lyne	Lyne	4	259	Jul 5, 2014 by Jerry F
	Happy Birthday Ray! (Preview) Kinda of an odd day,, I've found myself thinking of my ex father in law who passed away a couple of years ago several times and wondered why I felt like I "missed" him today. Missed is not the right word but best I can do. Anyway then I noticed a reminder on my face book page (from an old account o...	glad	3	257	Jul 5, 2014 by Jerry F
	And this is why Sponsors are sooo AWESOME :) (Preview) I had a bit of a reality jolt my STBAX is trying to foist his new "friend" on the kids and has officially said she's his girlfriend. That hit me .. not because I have any hallucinations of wanting him back ... because I am really beyond ready to let go of the relationship in its entirety. So of c...	SerenityRUS	5	285	Jul 5, 2014 by Jerry F
	jest more pics! (c: (Preview) well bits and pieces. all are of my husband who died. Our two babies...	Debilyn	13	505	Jul 5, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Back at Step One (Preview) We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable. It seems Im back at step one. Admitting that I am powerless over alcohol was easy, but actually stopping the battle or war is another thing altogether. Ive never been a quitter, and throwing in the towel to alcohol is te...	cloudyskies	7	472	Jul 5, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Today is a hard day for me (Preview) The 4th of July is my AH's favorite holiday. He likes to blow things up. Seriously. I am hating him one day, then wanting to share a holiday with him the next. I am trying to create something in my life that has NEVER existed!! My 2 marriages have been LIES and HURT the majority of the time. So why do I feel lon...	Newlife girl	4	419	Jul 5, 2014 by el-cee
	Hmm, interesting. (Preview) Now I'm not making a plan right here because my plans, in recent years and especially recent months, just don't happen the way I say that they should. So I'm just saying, this is interesting. It piques my curiosity. I intend to explore it further. I was talking to a dear friend of the al-anon persuasion...	missmeliss	11	491	Jul 5, 2014 by hotrod
	Can't get it off my mind (Preview) i can't get it off my mind my a bf affairs ,it's not good to bring it up to him everyday,makes him upset cause he says it's in the past,and I keep bringing it up to him everyday I guess I'm trying to get closer with what he did,I know he has been good to me ever since but I'm haveing such a huge problem with it and d...	lookingup	4	596	Jul 5, 2014 by milkwood
	Thanks, and I'm Awesome Lists (Preview) I never seem to find myself motivated to do Gratitude & Asset list daily anymore. So, I'll start this thread where we can do them and maybe anyone who is interested can also add theirs daily and we can see how long we can keep it going I think it will work because if people add to it daily it should sta...	missmeliss	8	1125	Jul 5, 2014 by pinkchip
	Told me his lawyer is calling me this week...and what about a Prepaid Legal Plan?? (Preview) My AH does not want to hear me tell him I can't ever live with him again so he told me today to be expecting a call from his lawyer this week. Made me laugh. he doesn't have a job. His emotions are all over the place. I think it was an idle threat, but it also scared me a bit. Then I realized...I don't have to talk t...	Newlife girl	6	425	Jul 5, 2014 by Kelly123
	Feeling a lot of hate (Preview) Is it normal to hate your a bf?i e been unable to cope all day due to his blame ing me for his affairs,I feel soo much hate for him I e got to let it go and somehow realize what he really is I need to also stop letting him see me like this.what happens if I were to get cleaned up and just leave and go out .prolly nothi...	lookingup	10	498	Jul 5, 2014 by lookingup
	Well .. now who would have thought :) (Preview) So I kind of had a bit of an epiphany today, I had a go round with my STBAX yesterday afternoon over the visitation .. he's scheduling work when he should have the kids and honestly I'm sure would have forgotten about it had I not text him. One of his parting digs was I can take any situation and make it com...	SerenityRUS	6	613	Jul 5, 2014 by PP
	Pushed too far (Preview) I've pushed my a bf soo far for soo long that he decided to get involved with anot her woman this morning I found texts on his cell while he was asleep messages saying from him to her and visa versa I love you soo much and am missing you already etc etc it hurt me soo bad she is married also to a 70 y/o man ,and acti...	lookingup	13	556	Jul 5, 2014 by missmeliss
	Friday night and I had a deadline... (Preview) Hi all. Things have been a lot calmer in my household/mind/heart for the last few days, thanks HP, MIP, Al_Anon! However today I kind of wobbled a little bit. It is Friday night and H has the weekend off (and we know what it means). I have been swimming in coursework and research for the last 2 weeks as tomo...	Luiza	8	418	Jul 5, 2014 by el-cee
	Disease (Preview) One of the greatest challenges for me, mentally, has been the idea that alcoholism is a disease. I am not closed to the idea, but have to understand how it came to be. I have listened to opinion, and also scientific "evidence" and views from the medical community. There is a wide range of view...	blessed	7	439	Jul 5, 2014 by blessed
	uncomfortable times and a snake in a party hat! (Preview) Medicare goofed, my meds were not ready due to expired card. NO it wasn't but I had to clean up the mess...its ok now. I keep thinking about my xah. making me nuts. My son has not gone to check on him yet. But in reality, I want to see him. I have checked on him since I was 17. this is the longest I have ever gone. I...	Debilyn	4	1422	Jul 4, 2014 by tiredtonite
	My assets and gratitude list (Preview) Assets...compassionate,careing,supportive,generous,loveing,understanding	lookingup	4	552	Jul 4, 2014 by hotrod
	Forgot I had tools. (Preview) Wow I had some bad days there. Daughter is away, the bad news just kept coming and coming, every silver lining turned out to be a bigger blacker cloud coming from behind, lol I let it get on top of me big time. I got into bed and I stayed there for days. No-one needs to tell me that isn't healthy or good but i did...	missmeliss	10	435	Jul 4, 2014 by PP
	I have just got back from a five day holiday with my husband! (Preview) He was vile towards me and played head games the whole time, a lone traveller asked us if he could join us for breakfast at our table in the hotel, my husband said yes of course mate, which led to the bloke walking about with us during the day, I thought I was just being polite to talk to this man who had been go...	Katy	14	572	Jul 4, 2014 by Jerry F
	what I learned about love (Preview) What I learned about love from my family of origin is that love hurts, love is abusive, life was scary and unpredictable, and nobody was going to help me. It now makes sense that both my first marriage and my current marriage, is to alcoholics/addicts, emotionally abusive, and unavailable people....	Lyne	3	320	Jul 4, 2014 by Debilyn
	It's done ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Today was the last day of my working life in the non-profit sector. Starting at 7:15 a.m., I was busy with all the loose ends that needed to be tied up for the business and for the transfers of properties. The board president loaded my car with what was left of my personal items to add to the boxes that wer...	grateful2be	46	833	Jul 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	need some advice (Preview) I need some advice on how to explain to my boyfriend that his drinking makes me uncomfortable. He's not an alcoholic, but likes to have a beer or two after work or wine with dinner. Which is fine, but because I grew up with an alcoholic father this everyday-drinking (even if it's not excessive) does make...	e_t245	10	525	Jul 4, 2014 by missmeliss
	If the hat fits….. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I'm in a bit of a dilemma about which hat to wear for Pinkchip's wedding? This might be a bit too Woodstock?? THE LOVING HEART Someone may love you because you are clever Someone may love you because you are wise Someone may love you for beauty or humour The fun in your heart or the light in your eyes But if...	milkwood	48	901	Jul 4, 2014 by el-cee
	Tiny baby steps.. (Preview) So I'm happy to say that I've started going to f2f meetings, on Tuesdays and Fridays. I'm also reading CAL which has really helped. I'm still very angry when I talk about my Qualifier to my family members and they are quick to remind me of this.. but I'm having trouble letting go of being so angry.. how do I...	phoenixmagicgirl	3	239	Jul 4, 2014 by el-cee
	All checked in (Preview) We are checked into our wedding suite. It is beautiful with a deck/balcony overlooking downtown Annapolis. Our priest (episcopal) flew in right after us. Parents visited. All is shaping up well. A few last minute cancelations of people but nothing major. Holy crap guys! I'm actually getting marr...	pinkchip	23	468	Jul 4, 2014 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Last Day in the Old Job, Vacation and New Job in the Same Workplace (Preview) I'm really trying to stay present and grateful and hopeful that this new job in the old workplace will be different but inwardly I'm not believing it for a minute. I've been looking for another job elsewhere but after this experience I don't want to end up somewhere more dysfunctional. I want to make...	tiredtonite	11	408	Jul 3, 2014 by PP
	Let go and Let God (Preview) Hi Everyone. I began going to Al-Anon meetings about a month ago. I have lived with an active alcoholic for the passed 15 years, and it has gotten bad these passed 3or 4 years. I never considered myself having a problem until I began attending the meetings and reading Al-Anon literature. Wow, what an e...	cloudyskies	8	580	Jul 3, 2014 by PP
	Arrogant Alanoner (Preview) The self awareness and revelations just keep coming and I thought I knew it all already. I have not got this completely straight yet in my mind but it just came to me and sometimes writing it out here helps me see it clearly. Step 2 says a power greater than me will restore me to sanity, I got this on one level...	el-cee	17	1088	Jul 3, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Thanks karma13 (Preview) I have been reading some of the threads and I came across this from krama13, Letting go letting god~ detachment with love. It means I love my husband enough to let him have the dignity to make his own choices. Whether or not I agree with them, and I try try my best one day at a time to work my program, and keep t...	cloudyskies	2	213	Jul 3, 2014 by glad
	What have you done for me lately? (Preview) I just got out of my first session with a counselor. Glad to finely find one that I connect with. I talked about how I am at a crossroads. I am recently separated (for a 2nd time). I feel like that for us to be functioning HE needs to be functioning. The just stopping drinking does not equal functioning. I mo...	sadsusie	14	549	Jul 3, 2014 by sunshine23
	I really like this one..... (Preview)	PP	11	349	Jul 3, 2014 by PP
	A thing my Momma told me (Preview) that was confirmed years later in recovery and maybe she was speaking from her awareness and experience regarding alcoholism in her/family and wasn't saying alcoholism. We had a cat "Snowy" who had kittens. Blacky was the poppa and the kittens were either white...or...black. One o...	Jerry F	12	537	Jul 2, 2014 by Jerry F
	So, that's it, my Qualifier wife and I are separating (Preview) Here's my story/share: My wife and I have been married for 12 years and together 16. We have 2 children 5 and 9 months. My wife is almost 2 years sober (in September). Last year was a m*******r of a year. After debating whether or not to have another kid, I convinced my wife to get pregnant and then it al...	NewAndImprovedMe	2	530	Jul 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	God Grant Me (Preview)	Cathyinaz	3	235	Jul 2, 2014 by PP
	Can AH do this? (Preview) My STBEXAH bought my daughter concert tickets for her birthday. I happy for my daughter to be able to see her favorite singer, but I have a couple issues. First the concert is out of state, she will have to travel 1200 miles to go to the concert. Secondly, the concert is during my week with her. My S...	mongowal	6	429	Jul 2, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Any point even hoping for better? (Preview) so my adult son decided a week ago to detox/cut down. It was unbearable seeing him do this when I visited. But, a week on, he's not drunk as much - claims to have had nothing for 2 days. He's been to 1 AA meeting. Says he'll continue. Yesterday his work said he was to be disciplined for poor performance (they...	MCALANON	8	501	Jul 2, 2014 by blessed
	mixed feelings (Preview) I'm packing my apt and I'm getting ready to make my big move. My job starts Aug 4th. I move in a couple weeks to get settled in before I start. It's all very exciting and sad at the same time. I start to pack and I start to cry. I get mixed emotions. My HP has aligned everything for me from the new job to the apt and...	texasgal	8	542	Jul 2, 2014 by abell
	Yeah, I'm in a stuck place! (Preview) AH and I had (another) big talk on Monday night. I've been building up to this for a while, but was waiting until our kids were out of the house for camp. Actually, I was planning to tell him I wanted a divorce, but I've been dithering around for ages, not able to make that final decision. Then (I posted abou...	NL14	7	427	Jul 2, 2014 by Kelly123
	Mixed Emotions .. (Preview) I'm neither sad or happy at the moment or maybe it's a combination of both .. I wish I had a better word for it. Disappointment maybe is a better word. The divorce date and time has passed and now I wait for a new date .. ugh .. I hate the waiting and realized that this is probably the God of my understandings...	SerenityRUS	11	407	Jul 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	Conflict? (Preview) As a Christain, I struggled with AlAnon's HP as my HP is the God of heaven and earth, Creator. Can I work the program with God as my HP? Will I be allowed to? Does the program contradict the Word of God? Well, I have prayed and searched the Scriptures and there is a little fuzzy in the "ME" aspect,...	blessed	7	418	Jul 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	Crossroads (Preview) I have to make a decision about a part time job I currently have at a woman's consignment clothing store and I am so torn. I enjoy this job, I like the customers, I get to shop while I work, I sing to the music and I get to enjoy the pretty clothes. Many of you may recall, I encountered a young man this past win...	PP	27	724	Jul 2, 2014 by PP
	I am paranoid (Preview) So I have issues. I see 13 people have read my post about living in a crazy life...nobody replies so my head starts spinning!! I start questioning if I should have posted at all. I am trusting online strangers to help me. But you really aren;t strangers, right? We understand living with alcoholism. I am...	Newlife girl	15	544	Jul 2, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Why can't I let go? (Preview) Yesterday, my AH and I went to the beach. Our kids had left for camp earlier in the morning, so it was just the two of us. I've been thinking this time alone would be a good time to address our problems...again...and to tell him I want to end our marriage, and I've been dreading/anticipating the weeks when...	NL14	15	631	Jul 2, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Shocked (Preview) Own property in Ash Fork in Coconino County AZ. Got a letter from the county assessors office asking for information on the Manufactured Home built on the property??? WHAT!!!! Somebody just decided to set up living on our property. What a mess we have on our hands. I hope we can get the coun...	Cathyinaz	16	596	Jul 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	HAPPY BIRTHDAY (Preview) PINKCHIPWE LOVE YOU	Cathyinaz	7	235	Jul 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Ah Ha Moment - with my enabling (Preview) I am working on the first few steps and had a moment of clarity today. I am learning to sit back and quietly feel my emotions and to figure out where they are coming from. Today at work I was feeling so frustrated and overwhelmed and realized it was because I couldn't so no to requests and also try to contr...	slowlearner	7	493	Jul 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	That was easy (Preview) This evening I had already showered and had on PJs when know there was a knock on the door. My AH rarely answers the door, or the phone or does anything at all around the house, etc. Another knock. I called out, "Can you answer the door? I'm in my pajamas." He did, with a huff (he huggs/sighs a lot...	blessed	6	337	Jul 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	Any point even hoping for better? (Preview) so my adult son decided a week ago to detox/cut down. It was unbearable seeing him do this when I visited. But, a week on, he's not drunk as much - claims to have had nothing for 2 days. He's been to 1 AA meeting. Says he'll continue. Yesterday his work said he was to be disciplined for poor performance (they...	MCALANON	4	261	Jul 2, 2014 by MCALANON
	A lot to think about (Preview) Today I find I'm back in my head again wondering if I made right choices . Feeling like I failed in so many ways . I hate this side of me that allows the negative thinking take over anything positive thought I have going on . I'm going back to step one again . I think it's the hardest step to pass . Why can't I acc...	Wisdom67	8	446	Jul 2, 2014 by NL14
	The Phone Is In My Hand (Preview) I'm ready to call the attorney and give her the green light on filing my divorce papers. Before I tell my story of the weekend, let me say that there were a few times in this year of my husband's sobriety where I thought things seemed odd and wondered if he was drinking but he would get in his car with the cou...	wornoutmrsfixit	16	630	Jul 2, 2014 by Newlife girl
	power of A's denial (Preview) Denial is a truly amazing defense mechanism. I think I was in it for many yrs re: the seriousness of my A's problems. And the A is in it so deeply~everything is OK, there are no problems, and what am I still concerned with? And before I got stronger, the A could manipulate me and confuse me. Once when I k...	Lyne	11	616	Jul 2, 2014 by Kelly123
	Back to the NA beer! (Preview) My AH has been going to AA meetings now for about 3 weeks. I do not know if he is working with a sponsor since we barely communicate with each other and he really doesn't even talk about where he's going or telling us he's going to a meeting, etc. He has not told our son about his recover, either. I came hom...	andromeda	15	564	Jul 2, 2014 by Newlife girl
	A glimpse into crazy (Preview) Just feeling numb from it all. Please give me your thoughts after reading. Desperately need understanding people who get what I am going through. All I am trying to do is get along with my AH. We are still not living together. He still doesn't have a job. I have to realize I am powerless over the fact he has...	Newlife girl	9	426	Jul 1, 2014 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.