The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I have issues. I see 13 people have read my post about living in a crazy life...nobody replies so my head starts spinning!! I start questioning if I should have posted at all. I am trusting online strangers to help me. But you really aren;t strangers, right? We understand living with alcoholism. I am coming here to feel better about my situation, but I can't be so codependent about people not replying. What is wrong with me??? I am SO SENSITIVE.
Give people time to think, even then they may decide they dont have any esh they feel would help. We cant demand esh or take it personally when we dont get it, I do understand that feeling though.
thanks el-cee. I am really anxious today. I think its because of feeling not in control about anything in my life right now. I am not trying to sound rude about people not replying. Sorry
You are not rude I understand and I believe some comes with the territory of codependency. In time, as you work the steps and your recovery, you will be able to give yourself some of the feedback you need and be more relaxed with whatever comes along I am hardwired to be a people pleaser, so if I am having a hard day, if I don't get responses my default is "I have done something displeasing and am not liked". I know that it is not the truth, so I look at HALT. (((Hugs)))
I also find what time of day you post makes a difference. East Coast is eating dinner and West Coast is just now leaving work or just got home. Also many that read posts do not reply at all. They are just trying understand all this madness of alcoholism.
Your raw right now and we understand so don't worry about being sensitive...we all are sometimes.
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
The drinking, arguing and chaos is just so hard year after year after year. It takes it toll on the family. I don't think most A's understand that, or people from the outside, unless that have experienced it first hand. I think moving to your own place was a smart move. They (A's) are so deceitful that it is hard to believe anything that comes out of their mouth. Have you talked to an attorney about the house? Something out of it is better than nothing. I wish you the best and please keep us posted on how you are doing. Sometimes it is a day at a time and other days it is minute by minute. Positive thoughts and hugs are being sent to you and your family!
thanks Jen. I haven't talked to an attorney yet. Yes, I don't think outsiders or even the A understand the toll all the chaos takes on everyone. I reached my limit...it took me a long time, but I finally had the strength to move out.
You are in a giant pressure cooker of stess. Husband acting crazy, snapping on you, probably relapsing, financial strain, work people up in your business...kids hate husband and vice versa. You are sensitive because this all sucks right now but you are doing the best you can each day under the circumstances. Give yourself kudos. Later you will look back at this as one of the hardest (if not the hardest) times of your life and you will know you can get through anything.
Thanks PC, you always say the right things and help me feel better. I guess I should be thankful I am not bedridden from all the chaos. This is what happens when I ignore red flags from the very beginning...but at least I have a great kid out of all this mess.
-- Edited by Newlife girl on Wednesday 2nd of July 2014 12:18:14 AM
Everyone said it best, but I also wanted to remind you that this is a public forum and that many times during the day we have 'visitors' who read the boards. These are people who stumble upon the site, read the posts, but never actually join as a member. Hence, the reason that you see so many 'views' but no one posting. Sending you hugs and love today!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
I understand and I believe some comes with the territory of codependency. In time, as you work the steps and your recovery, you will be able to give yourself some of the feedback you need and be more relaxed with whatever comes along
I am hardwired to be a people pleaser, so if I am having a hard day, if I don't get responses my default is "I have done something displeasing and am not liked". I know that it is not the truth, so I look at HALT. (((Hugs)))