The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm neither sad or happy at the moment or maybe it's a combination of both .. I wish I had a better word for it. Disappointment maybe is a better word.
The divorce date and time has passed and now I wait for a new date .. ugh .. I hate the waiting and realized that this is probably the God of my understandings way of "preparation time" .. have enough lessons in patience at the moment and can do without more right now thank you .. lol.
The other thing I know is whatever my issues at hand the God of my understanding is much bigger than these trifle issues going on. In the big scheme they really are smaller than my God. Sooo .. He's got the plan and He's got the answer and He even knows the outcome.
So now .. it's up to me to practice what I have learned in Alanon and just do my best not to rock the boat in terms of getting in a hurry.
I was hoping to be divorced before the kids go back to school .. now I'm hoping it's before the end of the year .. ugh ..
It was a REALLY great meeting tonight about Living Life to the Fullest and I think it really is easy to get so caught up in the small stuff that FEELS really big and forget about the better stuff that is actually bigger than I realize. I am truly blessed and I forget that from time to time and all I can do is the best that I can do and just keep moving forward.
I had a good scare this week .. I have not been taking good care of me and was having dizzy spells from time to time I do plan on getting that checked out .. good grief based upon what I have been through it's no wonder I haven't been hospitalized .. well .. it hit me .. I have allowed myself to become very dehydrated .. literally I drank a 20oz Gatorade .. 2 bottles of 16 oz water yesterday and I didn't have to use the bathroom .. I was startled at work when I realized this .. that can't be normal right? So I made sure to drink another 2 bottles of water and another couple bottles of Gatorade and I'm on more of a regular schedule now .. I have been sweating horribly at night .. I'm sure ALL hormonally related .. UGH. My poor body though I hardly sweat last night and I'm thinking that it's because I'm FINALLY getting hydrated and I will continue to drink more water going forward. It brought me back to what is important and that is definitely my health and being here for the kids.
Thanks for being here.
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Thanks for being here, too, Serenity. Glad you had a good meeting that helped you see how blessed you are and that maybe this delay is a very good thing done in your HP's timing and way? I'm also happy that by increasing your water intake, you are noticing a physical change, too. I do hope that is all that is needed. Just drinking more water? Keep us posted please.
I'm making an appointment in a couple of weeks .. I'm glad to still have insurance .. lol .. so there's a blessing in all this .. I DO feel better and I haven't had issues with any dizziness.
My poor little old lady hasn't been doing very well either .. she seems to be on the mend though .. just the last few days she's been making her way upstairs to my room and she hasn't done that for a couple of weeks. Poor baby .. I'm sure all of the unsettled vibration is upsetting for her as well.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Could you also be experiencing a drop in sugar levels? I started getting dizzy and shaky at times when I got to be about 40 yo. I didn't struggle with that at all until I reached that maturity level. Sugar in things like juices didn't help. It just made it worse. But things as strange as Cheez Its, cheese and milk all helped my sugar levels return to normal within 20 minutes after eating them. I was so busy I'd forget to eat and skip meals. When I reached 40, I couldn't do that anymore. I had to eat at least twice a day. At 65, I can't miss meals without my blood sugar dropping enough that there have been times I've had to lie down before I fell down. Thank God for my assistant who could bring me something to eat and drink that helped me. Do you experience shaking with the dizziness, too?
-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 1st of July 2014 09:08:27 PM
Yes, you are a warrior. I am glad you are present to what is really important. I don't see that you ever really stray from being aware of your blessings, though. You seem pretty grounded. I hope you feel better.
I am so grateful for your share. I have always had the hardest time allowing things to go the way they are going, and I tend to get impatient, force my will, try to control how things go, and it always ends up biting me in the behind! I needed to be reminded to have patience with the process, and to trust my HP to drive the boat, so thank you! I agree how the small things we are caught up in now (that seem HUGE) are really minor in the big scheme of things, and that to trust that the HP has bigger and better things in store for us once we get through our current difficulties. I have to remember to LET GO and LET GO take over, and trust in the order of things.
Hope you feel better with the increased hydration! It's a good reminder for me to take care of the basics--- water, nutrition, sleep, exercise and relaxation. Those things are within my control, so I might as well channel my controlling tendencies towards good self care! :)
A wise, lovely lady once told me dont sweat the small stuff and its all small.
You sound great, strong, despite all that is going on, maybe your right about your hp giving you this time because maybe you needed it. Take care of you friend, we need you here too.x
I think my dr does run a full thyroid panel however I will ask the last time she did it was "normal" however what does that mean I did have thyroid issues years ago .. however I found out that my readings were a matter of dr opinion at that point so what is normal to some is not to others .. it's very frustrating. I do not take pills because for the simple fact it's just not a road I want to go down at this point ... medication affects me weird. I don't go to sleep when I take benydryl I wind up wanting to walk across country .. lol. My mother insists I should be sleeping and while that may be true that is not how it works for me.
No leaky gut thankfully .. or I don't think so!
I have felt much better over the last couple of days so I'm going to keep doing what I have been doing .. it does seem to help.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
It's so easy to get so wrapped up in taking care of everyone else that we forget to take care of ourselves, so I'm glad you're going to do that. I find that when I'm upset or down the first thing I do is let my self-care go--which is really extra dumb because doing that makes me feel even worse!
Your mixed emotions seem totally natural to me. It's really hard to just let things take their natural progression, to be patient and wait. I always want to control how events happen, and I'm trying to learn to sit back and watch sometimes. I don't move the world, only myself.
