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maybe surrender?
(Preview)
Well I am battling with life again,that's me, ever ready for a crisis,I got very angry and upset about some things and had a panic attack.I saw my therapist today and she asked me if I have ever lived a crisis free life, or feeling like one was just around the corner, and I said I have no idea what that woul...
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mjferg
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3
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469
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Packing will keep me busy over the holidays.
(Preview)
My Landlord called me today to give me 6 weeks notice. Apparently he needs to move back in. So this is it. The New Year will be new and fresh indeed. My life is changing so much and so quickly. I guess I have to keep trusting my HP. It is so weird how I am not feeling like I am at home anymore. Being here is gettin...
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Luiza
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19
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629
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My magical thinking=anxiety
(Preview)
I am admitting I still have magical thinking regarding "fixing" my AH. I am worried about him. I can tell he is sleeping a lot...i know by the way he sounds on the phone. I am STILL thinking I can help him feel better. But I've tried for over 10 years to help him. He has to help himself now. why do I t...
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Newlife girl
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20
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864
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Trust shattered
(Preview)
Both my A husband and I started recovery about 8 months ago. Things have been so difficult since rehab. I guess I had an expectation that the hardest part was over. Trust has been an issue with me in recovery, and I've tried to be very open minded and honest about it. I know I was told several lies and was dec...
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Em D
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21
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749
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Grieving alcohol not mentioned.
(Preview)
No I didn't know how to do it coming from inside of the disease. I didn't know how and was afraid to try. I was afraid so I didn't learn a lot of normal stuff. I learned how to grieve in the program of the Al-Anon Family Groups as I watched so many others grieve their losses and wonder "why do they do...
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Jerry F
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3
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460
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Who knew?
(Preview)
I read the obits in my hometown paper. Today, a grade school chum was named together with the day of his death. I thought about the other "boys" in my little grade school who have died before he did. I can remember what a wild and crazy bunch he hung with. I can remember that he could do wild a...
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grateful2be
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14
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612
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got hit w/a bomshell, still SMH!!!!
(Preview)
I have this friend, hes a lovely young man, diabetic and now hes lost his 2nd leg just below the knee and i have been keeping up w/him....we were good friends when I was in CA...We rode our horses all over the place and would go for ice cream and he , at that long ago time, seemed to be "too attached"...
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neshema2
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17
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740
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Open conversation about expectations in friendships
(Preview)
So, I realized I must be one of those crazy people who expect other people to reply to me within 24 hours. I know people are busy, I am too. Yet, if I reach out to someone; whether it be family, non program friends, or program friends, I would expect them to at least have the decency to reply. In this world...
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andromeda
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16
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608
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There Was A Little Girl
(Preview)
There's a new book out with this title. It's about a celebrity from the 80's who had an alcoholic mother. It's amazing how much I relate to her story and how I acted in the same ways she did with my AH. I'm almost finished with the book. the codependency is so familiar. I feel like I know her personally becau...
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Newlife girl
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1
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276
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A Little Game I Play
(Preview)
I've struggled with the HP portion of the program. So I told myself to look for signs/coincidences. I started really paying attention to what song is on the radio when I leave my meeting and how it relates to what I'm feeling. I listen to the rock station which often is about pain, but its been a fun and int...
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Em D
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1
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477
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After rehab.. Then what??
(Preview)
I need some advice about after your spouse leaves rehab what do u do? Do I let him move back in? Make him live elsewhere? i know we will need help and he is in the process of setting that all up. After 30 days clean how stable are they? Do I get a roommate to share my house and make him stay out at least a year? Any a...
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Helpangel
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6
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1029
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feeling relieved
(Preview)
OK. I ended up having to engage a lawyer as I drew a dead end everywhere else. I randimly selected one and it was through a call center. I got a call back from a man, explained the situation. He calls me back in an hour the situation is resolved. Without leaving the house. I'm taking this as a very serious exp...
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aquamom23
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16
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522
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Christmas Party....deceit and manipulation
(Preview)
My AH dropped by for his morning coffee today and tried to disturb my happiness, joy and peace by announcing that he knew last week that family was invited to attend his group home Christmas function this evening, but he decided I wouldn't want to go. I said nothing, he then went on to explain that he was j...
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Flower49
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20
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841
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Ok...
(Preview)
I'm not where I want to be yet, BUT thank God I'm not where I used to be. Just keep working it because it works when you work it.
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cloudyskies
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6
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472
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Gotta laugh.
(Preview)
I've got a yukky cold, which is no surprise as it has been making its way throughout this household. So I woke this morning to find it had really taken hold. Yay! Oh well, lol, whatever. Coughs and sneezes and chills, not the end of the world. Just a temporary irritation. I had 2 phone calls I needed to mak...
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missmeliss
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6
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440
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Work drama? How to handle it?
(Preview)
There is a lot of drama going on at work and others are trying to pull me into it. They are also talking badly about me to others. It is a triangle apparently. I have 2 people who talk my ear off about the drama and I really need to not get trapped in that. I try and be kind and listen but I end up feeling drained an...
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hope4ever
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9
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621
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Fun night :)
(Preview)
The kids and I went out tonight after my son's Christmas program and had a blast. I haven't laughed that hard for a long, long time. It was just silliness big time. We watched football on a few big screens ate dinner and did a little yelling at the tv .. it was fun to watch my son get into it all. He misses o...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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815
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Overwhelmed~ Thank God for Al-anon!
(Preview)
I have come such a very long way from where I was when I found al-anon. Next week is finals and while I am close to filing bankruptcy and all that fun stress that comes with it. I am studying for a test this coming Friday, Monday, Wednesday and last exam next Friday! Wow is the stress on and without my al-an...
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Breakingfree
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12
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890
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Hung out with my AD- it's been six months
(Preview)
My daughter and son-in-law invited me over to watch football today. She wanted me to know that her twin sister (also my daughter), who is an A, and whom I haven't had contact with in six months, would also be there. She told me not to ask questions of my AD and to just "go with the flow." And so I di...
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Green Eyes
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6
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637
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Detachment or Avoidance
(Preview)
Hi all I read these messages frequently and find great wisdom in a lot of them and I am thankful for that. I am seeking some ESH with the following thoughts I am struggling with. My AD whom has stolen from us, lied repeatedly, made up all kinds of outlandish stories and I believe stole from other peop...
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serenity47
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15
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984
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No Doubt...not ever.
(Preview)
Just have to share the spiritual magic with my MIP family. This morning was the return of a old program celebration which was interrupted by "Nazies" Nazies are book thumpers...black and white only no fluff or it isn't program. This is my other side of my program...I am a double and m...
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Jerry F
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9
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833
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feeling strung out.
(Preview)
OK. Now the police are not adding a provision. In effect this means no contact at all. Yay justice is served all will be well, honour women and children. Except for me in this situation it actually enforces powerlessness. I have managed to save a little bit. I have enrolled in a course which will lead to e...
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aquamom23
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10
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674
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was this a bad plan?
(Preview)
Hey gang, I been busy lately but things going pretty well for the RAH and me and the kids. til yesterday................ RAH had to have hernia surgery and of course pain meds because it was a pretty big repair. When he first told me that the doctor was giving him Percocet I was like a bull with a red cape...
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jillybean1
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7
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674
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God finds a way
(Preview)
I took a big risk when I decided to end my relationship with my A,I wasn't ready financially but I believed if I had stayed it wouldn't matter anyway,I would be in such bad shape emotionally I don't know if I could have endured much longer.My son came over the other day and offered help with my Christmas...
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mjferg
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10
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623
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When the alcohol is gone but the behaviors are still there
(Preview)
My ABF stopped drinking 4 years ago but his behaviors which have continued to be there seem to be getting much worse mostly with me. For many years before he quit I had boundaries with the way he speaks to me which was usually only when he had been drinking. Now he seems to be speaking to me that way quiet o...
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Holly09
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8
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687
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bad marriage, alcoholic marriage or all of the above
(Preview)
This has been one of those weeks that just needs to end. It keeps getting worse each day. . The tension in our home is beyond suffocating. We all walk on eggshells trying to avoid upsetting the ah yet hes still upset. Nothing we do or say is "right". Never do we just move on. Little things get thr...
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Theoceancalls
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3
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516
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maybe I won without meaning to. Should I feel guilty?
(Preview)
People here often make mention of the fact that when you start to have boundaries and defend them, people push back, and hard. And change tactics... Well I did expect this and I have figured the only way to really grow and continue on a road to serenity is to limit my contact with people that are used to pus...
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missmeliss
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17
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890
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I think I must be a misfit in this world
(Preview)
Yesterday my sister asked her alcoholic husband to leave because he is taking rent and grocery money for alcohol. She works, he sits and watches tv all day. He responded that he does not drink any more than any one else. I witnessed him when he went one day without drinking so he could 'fool' the doctor he...
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deacon
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11
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840
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STOP and THINK
(Preview)
I heard a saying.....Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about. ******************************* I have to FIRST think----is this an unhealthy attachment/obsession on my part or is it really my HP prompting me to pursue for my own good???...the s...
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neshema2
|
2
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376
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Big News .. LOL!
(Preview)
Wellll .. interesting weekend .. kids found out Saturday after not seeing their dad for 8 weeks I think its been that he's getting married the 2nd weekend of January. Going to be interesting is putting it mildly .. they picked a non visitation weekend first off and the kids haven't met her yet nor did th...
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SerenityRUS
|
22
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1031
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waiting for the police. this is how women get killed.
(Preview)
I opened the door at 1 am to a drunk and having done my inventory was able to say not a word just went back to bed. He wakes up our toddler proceeds to fall asleep with her while he is lying there with no underwear completely wasted. I grab the baby he gets violent threatens our son torments me. Screaming for h...
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aquamom23
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23
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699
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I care too much
(Preview)
As my AH sits in our home, not paying mortgage since June, I still wonder if he feels lonely. He has been saying passive aggressive things to me that hurt my feelings and then I feel guilty about leaving, and guilty about his dog being sad when we leave the house. He isn't clear about anything...getting a...
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Newlife girl
|
8
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806
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Foreclosure is coming...an update
(Preview)
Since AH hasn't agreed to sell the house, it's too late now to even try...even though he said he would sell it now. The bank needs a lot of information from us if we tried to sell it now. I looked up the impact on credit score for short sale vs foreclosure, and it's about the same. Only difference is you can b...
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Newlife girl
|
15
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701
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what kind of mother...
(Preview)
Cant live with her own son because it looks like hes an alcoholic? Cant face the full story.x -- Edited by el-cee on Friday 12th of December 2014 09:12:30 PM
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el-cee
|
24
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872
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Christmas Music
(Preview)
This morning while doing dishes, yes I am an AM dish washer, don't know exactly why, don't care exactly why, I just like doing them in the quiet morning. Anyway - I was singing quietly to myself my oldest favorite Christmas song and thinking (yes, thinking comes with singing) about all the great Christ...
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likemyheart
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10
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919
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Keep looking at the trees
(Preview)
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Cathyinaz
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10
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839
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NO I won't wait!
(Preview)
"Well you'll have to wait and we'll discuss this next week!" ""NO." "No I won't wait!!!" Sheesh! There it is- I thought I had a voice!!!! Dear family, he who cares less wins; although this is much more than that. I finally care about me more and it's time to tak...
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bud
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20
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698
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Is it my problem or his?
(Preview)
This is my first post on here, so forgive me if it's lengthy. I am having issues with my husband and his drinking. Which is weird for me to say because it used to actually be WAY worse. But through years of us talking and trying to work on it, he has gotten a lot better. But when he does drink, he always takes it...
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Jordan
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6
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685
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My son has tried to commit suicide.
(Preview)
Hello, This is the first time i've been on this forum. My 41 year old son has tried to commit suicide and i don't know what to do. I'm so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. He's been sober for the last 2 years, but hasn't really changed anything else in his life, he's just stopped drinking, but his beh...
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EdwinaGrace
|
8
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884
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|
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Aquamom and LC
(Preview)
Holding warm, positive thoughts of you both today Let us know how you are doing. "God Grant me Serenity "
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hotrod
|
6
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436
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Financial bind
(Preview)
Since my AH has started doing the bills and inspecting the checking account with a fine tooth comb, he's come down on me hard and on my spending. I tried to point out that he's had access to all the accounts all this time but instead blamed me just because I was in charge. Now, what really ticks me off is th...
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andromeda
|
10
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670
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My New Job Starts on Monday!
(Preview)
I feel so blessed tonight. After years of Hell and dysfunction, in both my personal and career life, I feel like I'm finally moving towards where my HP feels I should be. I left my current, and crazy, job today and I start my new job on Monday- and my new boss is awesome (so far!)!!! Very thankful right now...
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Green Eyes
|
6
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509
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What about therapy for depression?
(Preview)
So now my s/o is having bad stomach pains. We've been going through this with every hypertension med. Each one works for a while, then he gets bad stomach pains, and he has to find something else. It was noticeable enough yesterday morning that the people at court noticed, passed the word around, an...
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zebrafish
|
14
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828
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Falling out of love with an addict
(Preview)
I feel as if I have lost my love for my 21 year old son due to his drug an alcohol use, and that surprises me because I have always felt my power to love was greater than most, yet here I am. I try to be the supportive dad but I am at the point where I just don't like him very much. It makes me feel like such a failu...
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Cooper
|
15
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869
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things can change overnight sometimes...
(Preview)
I guess when I voice how I feel sometimes it seems to change. I am starting to really stand up for myself. I don't feel intimidated by my AH. He is not the enemy. I can cope w/ whatever I have to. Since my mom has not been released from the hospital yet, I am very concerned. I have a lot of things that went wrong t...
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Hoot Nanny
|
2
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350
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another post...my cousin!
(Preview)
I will make this quick. I feel terrible about sending messages to my 2nd cousin who just PMed me about her mother not wanting to talk on the phone just by email or by letter. To be honest, I am kind of angry but feel guilty about caring & making mistakes w/ dealing w/ her now. She is very ill & all I wan...
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Hoot Nanny
|
2
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398
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|
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time for more changes
(Preview)
I had a session with my therapist yesterday and I said I feel like a ghost floating around alone.I didn't realize it until the session,that is why I go to therapy,things come out in the sessions that I can't make a connection with but my therapist helps me put the puzzle together.I am an only child who gre...
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mjferg
|
3
|
442
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|
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detachment question
(Preview)
I have never gotten a comfortable understanding of detachment, and have struggled with it. My AD is in the hospital, having had gotten herself into a horrible position with someone. She is verbally abusive to me and said some cruel things this last go around. Now she calls and needs clothes, shamp...
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akk
|
21
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806
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Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired
(Preview)
It seems that every pay day AH doesn't come home, whether or not his family needs anything.. It is just getting worse and worse. He will leave me with next to nothing to get through the next week only for him to do it again. I don't no what to do, nothing I say gets through to him.. Just looking to talk..
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FedUp
|
12
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876
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Learn to apprecicate what you HAVE , B4 time forces U to appreciate what you HAD
(Preview)
I am facing this now with an adopted sister now in hospice care due to Alzheimer's....Her daughter, my niece, texted me w/this sad update today...Its hard to accept that my big sis and mentor is now in this sad condition....However, I am so glad I always treated her with love , respect and i kept up with...
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neshema2
|
11
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637
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giving our power away
(Preview)
I've been noticing over the last few months how unhealthy songs are. (lol I know). I guess its the whole early recovery thing where like a child learning the alphabet, you see examples everywhere. I watched Selena Gomez heart wants what it wants and cringed for the poor girl.shes so young!!! And strik...
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aquamom23
|
22
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776
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boy, it sure kept hanging on...
(Preview)
I regretfully feel like crap about not being able to post on the mobile site. I don't have access to post on my cell phone at home. And, because I have been sick, I haven't been able to get to the library to get on this computer. I feel like I am missing something & feel left out. I have been wanting to get o...
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Hoot Nanny
|
2
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604
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|
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Message from my wife from rehab
(Preview)
My wife's stay in rehab is coming to a close. I have had very little communication with her during her time there. She also has had very little communication with me or our three kids. Tonight I received an email from her that says that her counselors feel that our home is an unhealthy environment to r...
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MooseWork
|
11
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835
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What does a sponsor do?
(Preview)
I've been reading a lot of things on this site, but perhaps I've missed it. What does a sponsor do? Not only for Al-Anon, but I'm also curious for AA.
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frustrationshigh
|
4
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924
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What a rough day
(Preview)
Yesterday was a pretty rough day for everyone involved in my family's lives. My AW had an even worse day than normal (instead of 1 or 2 bottles of wine, she had 4) and just went bonkers on everyone. My phone was blowing up with calls/texts from my in-laws yesterday. I got the onslaught when I got home. ...
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frustrationshigh
|
10
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662
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|
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Temp Sponsor
(Preview)
Hi, I am looking for a Temp Sponsor or Sponsor. My present Sponsor has decided to not attend meetings any longer. I have been in the program a while - about 15 years. I am self employed and work with my A husband who is sober without a program-quite a challenge at times. As it says in our opening in Al Anon -...
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Peace59
|
0
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348
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Courage to Change
(Preview)
December 10th, page 345. I have always loved this powerful courageous page in our daily reader. It says it powerfully to me even down to Henry W Lf's note. Give it a read and hope you have the publication. (((((MIP)))))
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Jerry F
|
7
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982
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A peaceful little christmas
(Preview)
I went out yesterday and picked up some gifts for my daughter yesterday,it isn't much but it is all I can do right now.I got the tree today,I love the smell of a real tree,they were marked down.It's beautiful.You know right now I just have a heart full of gratitude,I wish I could put into words how much thi...
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mjferg
|
5
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568
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|
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Just plain old irritable
(Preview)
K well after my well intentioned listening ....I had another phone call from my friend...I have no idea if we will be friends anymore. I tried to listen for over 45 minutes while she talked, i tried to speak I got interrupted, so I waited, then I tried to talk and she started talking to people in the backgr...
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Truth
|
19
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631
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Another ruined week-end
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I know that the drinking makes AH unreasonable and abusive, but it always is upsetting. I parked the car, when I came home from work in a different spot so the tree full of pigeons would not make a mess all over it and I forgot to turn the porch light on for him and he came in raging and moved the car and scream...
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Debb
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58
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1418
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