Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

missmeliss · missmeliss

pinkchip · pinkchip

Recovery really is a balancing act. Once I get something unhealthy out of my life, I have to watch out for new unhealthy behaviors and character defects arising. Okay, so I stopped drinking and ended a really toxic relationship with another A. For a long time I engaged in these self destructive beh...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Well we woke up late today at 7 am and I was feeling quite nervous. I didn't rush through the morning. Went to court, my file wasn't there. But I discovered something interesting about myself. When it came down to advocating for myself and children an intellectual side came out utterly divorced of fear...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I'm having some issues with my apartment, which has put me in a hotel b/c it is not safe to sleep there right now. I have stayed in 2 diff. hotels, whatever has been cheapest, and on a friends sofa one night. I am feeling beat by life. And this, is making me miss my Aexbf. Plus it is the holidays, and I am forced...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Daughter's graduation ceremony is tomorrow night. A while ago I promised her the works, a new dress, shoes etc but of course that was no longer possible and I was worried she would feel yukky next to her dressed up friends. But we've been scouring the op-shops, tonight we finally found great shoes, bel...

Truth · Truth

I stayed home from work today. My body is tired and needs sleep. On Monday, I phoned the police. My ex-A must be testing my boundaries and decided he could drop off some stuff at my house. A present for his son that he had the day before at his visit and did not give him. I kind of knew by his inflated ego respon...

mjferg · mjferg

Well I am battling with life again,that's me, ever ready for a crisis,I got very angry and upset about some things and had a panic attack.I saw my therapist today and she asked me if I have ever lived a crisis free life, or feeling like one was just around the corner, and I said I have no idea what that woul...

Luiza · Luiza

My Landlord called me today to give me 6 weeks notice. Apparently he needs to move back in. So this is it. The New Year will be new and fresh indeed. My life is changing so much and so quickly. I guess I have to keep trusting my HP. It is so weird how I am not feeling like I am at home anymore. Being here is gettin...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am admitting I still have magical thinking regarding "fixing" my AH. I am worried about him. I can tell he is sleeping a lot...i know by the way he sounds on the phone. I am STILL thinking I can help him feel better. But I've tried for over 10 years to help him. He has to help himself now. why do I t...

Em D · Em D

Both my A husband and I started recovery about 8 months ago. Things have been so difficult since rehab. I guess I had an expectation that the hardest part was over. Trust has been an issue with me in recovery, and I've tried to be very open minded and honest about it. I know I was told several lies and was dec...

Jerry F · Jerry F

No I didn't know how to do it coming from inside of the disease. I didn't know how and was afraid to try. I was afraid so I didn't learn a lot of normal stuff. I learned how to grieve in the program of the Al-Anon Family Groups as I watched so many others grieve their losses and wonder "why do they do...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I read the obits in my hometown paper. Today, a grade school chum was named together with the day of his death. I thought about the other "boys" in my little grade school who have died before he did. I can remember what a wild and crazy bunch he hung with. I can remember that he could do wild a...

neshema2 · neshema2

I have this friend, hes a lovely young man, diabetic and now hes lost his 2nd leg just below the knee and i have been keeping up w/him....we were good friends when I was in CA...We rode our horses all over the place and would go for ice cream and he , at that long ago time, seemed to be "too attached"...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I realized I must be one of those crazy people who expect other people to reply to me within 24 hours. I know people are busy, I am too. Yet, if I reach out to someone; whether it be family, non program friends, or program friends, I would expect them to at least have the decency to reply. In this world...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

There's a new book out with this title. It's about a celebrity from the 80's who had an alcoholic mother. It's amazing how much I relate to her story and how I acted in the same ways she did with my AH. I'm almost finished with the book. the codependency is so familiar. I feel like I know her personally becau...

Em D · Em D

I've struggled with the HP portion of the program. So I told myself to look for signs/coincidences. I started really paying attention to what song is on the radio when I leave my meeting and how it relates to what I'm feeling. I listen to the rock station which often is about pain, but its been a fun and int...

Helpangel · Helpangel

I need some advice about after your spouse leaves rehab what do u do? Do I let him move back in? Make him live elsewhere? i know we will need help and he is in the process of setting that all up. After 30 days clean how stable are they? Do I get a roommate to share my house and make him stay out at least a year? Any a...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

OK. I ended up having to engage a lawyer as I drew a dead end everywhere else. I randimly selected one and it was through a call center. I got a call back from a man, explained the situation. He calls me back in an hour the situation is resolved. Without leaving the house. I'm taking this as a very serious exp...

Flower49 · Flower49

My AH dropped by for his morning coffee today and tried to disturb my happiness, joy and peace by announcing that he knew last week that family was invited to attend his group home Christmas function this evening, but he decided I wouldn't want to go. I said nothing, he then went on to explain that he was j...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I'm not where I want to be yet, BUT thank God I'm not where I used to be. Just keep working it because it works when you work it.

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've got a yukky cold, which is no surprise as it has been making its way throughout this household. So I woke this morning to find it had really taken hold. Yay! Oh well, lol, whatever. Coughs and sneezes and chills, not the end of the world. Just a temporary irritation. I had 2 phone calls I needed to mak...

hope4ever · hope4ever

There is a lot of drama going on at work and others are trying to pull me into it. They are also talking badly about me to others. It is a triangle apparently. I have 2 people who talk my ear off about the drama and I really need to not get trapped in that. I try and be kind and listen but I end up feeling drained an...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The kids and I went out tonight after my son's Christmas program and had a blast. I haven't laughed that hard for a long, long time. It was just silliness big time. We watched football on a few big screens ate dinner and did a little yelling at the tv .. it was fun to watch my son get into it all. He misses o...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have come such a very long way from where I was when I found al-anon. Next week is finals and while I am close to filing bankruptcy and all that fun stress that comes with it. I am studying for a test this coming Friday, Monday, Wednesday and last exam next Friday! Wow is the stress on and without my al-an...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My daughter and son-in-law invited me over to watch football today. She wanted me to know that her twin sister (also my daughter), who is an A, and whom I haven't had contact with in six months, would also be there. She told me not to ask questions of my AD and to just "go with the flow." And so I di...

serenity47 · serenity47

Hi all I read these messages frequently and find great wisdom in a lot of them and I am thankful for that. I am seeking some ESH with the following thoughts I am struggling with. My AD whom has stolen from us, lied repeatedly, made up all kinds of outlandish stories and I believe stole from other peop...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just have to share the spiritual magic with my MIP family. This morning was the return of a old program celebration which was interrupted by "Nazies" Nazies are book thumpers...black and white only no fluff or it isn't program. This is my other side of my program...I am a double and m...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

OK. Now the police are not adding a provision. In effect this means no contact at all. Yay justice is served all will be well, honour women and children. Except for me in this situation it actually enforces powerlessness. I have managed to save a little bit. I have enrolled in a course which will lead to e...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Hey gang, I been busy lately but things going pretty well for the RAH and me and the kids. til yesterday................ RAH had to have hernia surgery and of course pain meds because it was a pretty big repair. When he first told me that the doctor was giving him Percocet I was like a bull with a red cape...

mjferg · mjferg

I took a big risk when I decided to end my relationship with my A,I wasn't ready financially but I believed if I had stayed it wouldn't matter anyway,I would be in such bad shape emotionally I don't know if I could have endured much longer.My son came over the other day and offered help with my Christmas...

Holly09 · Holly09

My ABF stopped drinking 4 years ago but his behaviors which have continued to be there seem to be getting much worse mostly with me. For many years before he quit I had boundaries with the way he speaks to me which was usually only when he had been drinking. Now he seems to be speaking to me that way quiet o...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

This has been one of those weeks that just needs to end. It keeps getting worse each day. . The tension in our home is beyond suffocating. We all walk on eggshells trying to avoid upsetting the ah yet hes still upset. Nothing we do or say is "right". Never do we just move on. Little things get thr...

missmeliss · missmeliss

People here often make mention of the fact that when you start to have boundaries and defend them, people push back, and hard. And change tactics... Well I did expect this and I have figured the only way to really grow and continue on a road to serenity is to limit my contact with people that are used to pus...

deacon · deacon

Yesterday my sister asked her alcoholic husband to leave because he is taking rent and grocery money for alcohol. She works, he sits and watches tv all day. He responded that he does not drink any more than any one else. I witnessed him when he went one day without drinking so he could 'fool' the doctor he...

neshema2 · neshema2

I heard a saying.....Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about. ******************************* I have to FIRST think----is this an unhealthy attachment/obsession on my part or is it really my HP prompting me to pursue for my own good???...the s...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Wellll .. interesting weekend .. kids found out Saturday after not seeing their dad for 8 weeks I think its been that he's getting married the 2nd weekend of January. Going to be interesting is putting it mildly .. they picked a non visitation weekend first off and the kids haven't met her yet nor did th...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I opened the door at 1 am to a drunk and having done my inventory was able to say not a word just went back to bed. He wakes up our toddler proceeds to fall asleep with her while he is lying there with no underwear completely wasted. I grab the baby he gets violent threatens our son torments me. Screaming for h...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

As my AH sits in our home, not paying mortgage since June, I still wonder if he feels lonely. He has been saying passive aggressive things to me that hurt my feelings and then I feel guilty about leaving, and guilty about his dog being sad when we leave the house. He isn't clear about anything...getting a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Since AH hasn't agreed to sell the house, it's too late now to even try...even though he said he would sell it now. The bank needs a lot of information from us if we tried to sell it now. I looked up the impact on credit score for short sale vs foreclosure, and it's about the same. Only difference is you can b...

el-cee · el-cee

Cant live with her own son because it looks like hes an alcoholic? Cant face the full story.x -- Edited by el-cee on Friday 12th of December 2014 09:12:30 PM

likemyheart · likemyheart

This morning while doing dishes, yes I am an AM dish washer, don't know exactly why, don't care exactly why, I just like doing them in the quiet morning. Anyway - I was singing quietly to myself my oldest favorite Christmas song and thinking (yes, thinking comes with singing) about all the great Christ...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

bud · bud

"Well you'll have to wait and we'll discuss this next week!" ""NO." "No I won't wait!!!" Sheesh! There it is- I thought I had a voice!!!! Dear family, he who cares less wins; although this is much more than that. I finally care about me more and it's time to tak...

Jordan · Jordan

This is my first post on here, so forgive me if it's lengthy. I am having issues with my husband and his drinking. Which is weird for me to say because it used to actually be WAY worse. But through years of us talking and trying to work on it, he has gotten a lot better. But when he does drink, he always takes it...

EdwinaGrace · EdwinaGrace

Hello, This is the first time i've been on this forum. My 41 year old son has tried to commit suicide and i don't know what to do. I'm so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. He's been sober for the last 2 years, but hasn't really changed anything else in his life, he's just stopped drinking, but his beh...

hotrod · hotrod

Holding warm, positive thoughts of you both today Let us know how you are doing. "God Grant me Serenity "

andromeda · andromeda

Since my AH has started doing the bills and inspecting the checking account with a fine tooth comb, he's come down on me hard and on my spending. I tried to point out that he's had access to all the accounts all this time but instead blamed me just because I was in charge. Now, what really ticks me off is th...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I feel so blessed tonight. After years of Hell and dysfunction, in both my personal and career life, I feel like I'm finally moving towards where my HP feels I should be. I left my current, and crazy, job today and I start my new job on Monday- and my new boss is awesome (so far!)!!! Very thankful right now...

zebrafish · zebrafish

So now my s/o is having bad stomach pains. We've been going through this with every hypertension med. Each one works for a while, then he gets bad stomach pains, and he has to find something else. It was noticeable enough yesterday morning that the people at court noticed, passed the word around, an...

Cooper · Cooper

I feel as if I have lost my love for my 21 year old son due to his drug an alcohol use, and that surprises me because I have always felt my power to love was greater than most, yet here I am. I try to be the supportive dad but I am at the point where I just don't like him very much. It makes me feel like such a failu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I guess when I voice how I feel sometimes it seems to change. I am starting to really stand up for myself. I don't feel intimidated by my AH. He is not the enemy. I can cope w/ whatever I have to. Since my mom has not been released from the hospital yet, I am very concerned. I have a lot of things that went wrong t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will make this quick. I feel terrible about sending messages to my 2nd cousin who just PMed me about her mother not wanting to talk on the phone just by email or by letter. To be honest, I am kind of angry but feel guilty about caring & making mistakes w/ dealing w/ her now. She is very ill & all I wan...

mjferg · mjferg

I had a session with my therapist yesterday and I said I feel like a ghost floating around alone.I didn't realize it until the session,that is why I go to therapy,things come out in the sessions that I can't make a connection with but my therapist helps me put the puzzle together.I am an only child who gre...

akk · akk

I have never gotten a comfortable understanding of detachment, and have struggled with it. My AD is in the hospital, having had gotten herself into a horrible position with someone. She is verbally abusive to me and said some cruel things this last go around. Now she calls and needs clothes, shamp...

FedUp · FedUp

It seems that every pay day AH doesn't come home, whether or not his family needs anything.. It is just getting worse and worse. He will leave me with next to nothing to get through the next week only for him to do it again. I don't no what to do, nothing I say gets through to him.. Just looking to talk..

neshema2 · neshema2

I am facing this now with an adopted sister now in hospice care due to Alzheimer's....Her daughter, my niece, texted me w/this sad update today...Its hard to accept that my big sis and mentor is now in this sad condition....However, I am so glad I always treated her with love , respect and i kept up with...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I've been noticing over the last few months how unhealthy songs are. (lol I know). I guess its the whole early recovery thing where like a child learning the alphabet, you see examples everywhere. I watched Selena Gomez heart wants what it wants and cringed for the poor girl.shes so young!!! And strik...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I regretfully feel like crap about not being able to post on the mobile site. I don't have access to post on my cell phone at home. And, because I have been sick, I haven't been able to get to the library to get on this computer. I feel like I am missing something & feel left out. I have been wanting to get o...

MooseWork · MooseWork

My wife's stay in rehab is coming to a close. I have had very little communication with her during her time there. She also has had very little communication with me or our three kids. Tonight I received an email from her that says that her counselors feel that our home is an unhealthy environment to r...

frustrationshigh · frustrationshigh

I've been reading a lot of things on this site, but perhaps I've missed it. What does a sponsor do? Not only for Al-Anon, but I'm also curious for AA.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Photo Time!!!! (Preview)	missmeliss	24	807	Dec 18, 2014 by Luiza
	Family of Origin Issues ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Recovery really is a balancing act. Once I get something unhealthy out of my life, I have to watch out for new unhealthy behaviors and character defects arising. Okay, so I stopped drinking and ended a really toxic relationship with another A. For a long time I engaged in these self destructive beh...	pinkchip	58	1915	Dec 18, 2014 by el-cee
	freedom (Preview) Well we woke up late today at 7 am and I was feeling quite nervous. I didn't rush through the morning. Went to court, my file wasn't there. But I discovered something interesting about myself. When it came down to advocating for myself and children an intellectual side came out utterly divorced of fear...	aquamom23	12	563	Dec 18, 2014 by el-cee
	missing the alcoholic (Preview) I'm having some issues with my apartment, which has put me in a hotel b/c it is not safe to sleep there right now. I have stayed in 2 diff. hotels, whatever has been cheapest, and on a friends sofa one night. I am feeling beat by life. And this, is making me miss my Aexbf. Plus it is the holidays, and I am forced...	giraffe13	6	759	Dec 18, 2014 by pinkchip
	Something to smile about (Preview) Daughter's graduation ceremony is tomorrow night. A while ago I promised her the works, a new dress, shoes etc but of course that was no longer possible and I was worried she would feel yukky next to her dressed up friends. But we've been scouring the op-shops, tonight we finally found great shoes, bel...	missmeliss	22	843	Dec 18, 2014 by Luiza
	My body is tired.. (Preview) I stayed home from work today. My body is tired and needs sleep. On Monday, I phoned the police. My ex-A must be testing my boundaries and decided he could drop off some stuff at my house. A present for his son that he had the day before at his visit and did not give him. I kind of knew by his inflated ego respon...	Truth	4	316	Dec 18, 2014 by PP
	maybe surrender? (Preview) Well I am battling with life again,that's me, ever ready for a crisis,I got very angry and upset about some things and had a panic attack.I saw my therapist today and she asked me if I have ever lived a crisis free life, or feeling like one was just around the corner, and I said I have no idea what that woul...	mjferg	3	480	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Packing will keep me busy over the holidays. (Preview) My Landlord called me today to give me 6 weeks notice. Apparently he needs to move back in. So this is it. The New Year will be new and fresh indeed. My life is changing so much and so quickly. I guess I have to keep trusting my HP. It is so weird how I am not feeling like I am at home anymore. Being here is gettin...	Luiza	19	635	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	My magical thinking=anxiety (Preview) I am admitting I still have magical thinking regarding "fixing" my AH. I am worried about him. I can tell he is sleeping a lot...i know by the way he sounds on the phone. I am STILL thinking I can help him feel better. But I've tried for over 10 years to help him. He has to help himself now. why do I t...	Newlife girl	20	877	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Trust shattered (Preview) Both my A husband and I started recovery about 8 months ago. Things have been so difficult since rehab. I guess I had an expectation that the hardest part was over. Trust has been an issue with me in recovery, and I've tried to be very open minded and honest about it. I know I was told several lies and was dec...	Em D	21	758	Dec 17, 2014 by Em D
	Grieving alcohol not mentioned. (Preview) No I didn't know how to do it coming from inside of the disease. I didn't know how and was afraid to try. I was afraid so I didn't learn a lot of normal stuff. I learned how to grieve in the program of the Al-Anon Family Groups as I watched so many others grieve their losses and wonder "why do they do...	Jerry F	3	468	Dec 16, 2014 by hotrod
	Who knew? (Preview) I read the obits in my hometown paper. Today, a grade school chum was named together with the day of his death. I thought about the other "boys" in my little grade school who have died before he did. I can remember what a wild and crazy bunch he hung with. I can remember that he could do wild a...	grateful2be	14	621	Dec 16, 2014 by neshema2
	got hit w/a bomshell, still SMH!!!! (Preview) I have this friend, hes a lovely young man, diabetic and now hes lost his 2nd leg just below the knee and i have been keeping up w/him....we were good friends when I was in CA...We rode our horses all over the place and would go for ice cream and he , at that long ago time, seemed to be "too attached"...	neshema2	17	747	Dec 16, 2014 by neshema2
	Open conversation about expectations in friendships (Preview) So, I realized I must be one of those crazy people who expect other people to reply to me within 24 hours. I know people are busy, I am too. Yet, if I reach out to someone; whether it be family, non program friends, or program friends, I would expect them to at least have the decency to reply. In this world...	andromeda	16	618	Dec 16, 2014 by Newlife girl
	There Was A Little Girl (Preview) There's a new book out with this title. It's about a celebrity from the 80's who had an alcoholic mother. It's amazing how much I relate to her story and how I acted in the same ways she did with my AH. I'm almost finished with the book. the codependency is so familiar. I feel like I know her personally becau...	Newlife girl	1	282	Dec 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	A Little Game I Play (Preview) I've struggled with the HP portion of the program. So I told myself to look for signs/coincidences. I started really paying attention to what song is on the radio when I leave my meeting and how it relates to what I'm feeling. I listen to the rock station which often is about pain, but its been a fun and int...	Em D	1	484	Dec 16, 2014 by PP
	After rehab.. Then what?? (Preview) I need some advice about after your spouse leaves rehab what do u do? Do I let him move back in? Make him live elsewhere? i know we will need help and he is in the process of setting that all up. After 30 days clean how stable are they? Do I get a roommate to share my house and make him stay out at least a year? Any a...	Helpangel	6	1036	Dec 16, 2014 by Em D
	feeling relieved (Preview) OK. I ended up having to engage a lawyer as I drew a dead end everywhere else. I randimly selected one and it was through a call center. I got a call back from a man, explained the situation. He calls me back in an hour the situation is resolved. Without leaving the house. I'm taking this as a very serious exp...	aquamom23	16	528	Dec 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	Christmas Party....deceit and manipulation (Preview) My AH dropped by for his morning coffee today and tried to disturb my happiness, joy and peace by announcing that he knew last week that family was invited to attend his group home Christmas function this evening, but he decided I wouldn't want to go. I said nothing, he then went on to explain that he was j...	Flower49	20	848	Dec 15, 2014 by giraffe13
	Ok... (Preview) I'm not where I want to be yet, BUT thank God I'm not where I used to be. Just keep working it because it works when you work it.	cloudyskies	6	481	Dec 15, 2014 by hotrod
	Gotta laugh. (Preview) I've got a yukky cold, which is no surprise as it has been making its way throughout this household. So I woke this morning to find it had really taken hold. Yay! Oh well, lol, whatever. Coughs and sneezes and chills, not the end of the world. Just a temporary irritation. I had 2 phone calls I needed to mak...	missmeliss	6	449	Dec 15, 2014 by bud
	Work drama? How to handle it? (Preview) There is a lot of drama going on at work and others are trying to pull me into it. They are also talking badly about me to others. It is a triangle apparently. I have 2 people who talk my ear off about the drama and I really need to not get trapped in that. I try and be kind and listen but I end up feeling drained an...	hope4ever	9	630	Dec 15, 2014 by bud
	Fun night :) (Preview) The kids and I went out tonight after my son's Christmas program and had a blast. I haven't laughed that hard for a long, long time. It was just silliness big time. We watched football on a few big screens ate dinner and did a little yelling at the tv .. it was fun to watch my son get into it all. He misses o...	SerenityRUS	6	821	Dec 15, 2014 by Luiza
	Overwhelmed~ Thank God for Al-anon! (Preview) I have come such a very long way from where I was when I found al-anon. Next week is finals and while I am close to filing bankruptcy and all that fun stress that comes with it. I am studying for a test this coming Friday, Monday, Wednesday and last exam next Friday! Wow is the stress on and without my al-an...	Breakingfree	12	897	Dec 15, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Hung out with my AD- it's been six months (Preview) My daughter and son-in-law invited me over to watch football today. She wanted me to know that her twin sister (also my daughter), who is an A, and whom I haven't had contact with in six months, would also be there. She told me not to ask questions of my AD and to just "go with the flow." And so I di...	Green Eyes	6	645	Dec 15, 2014 by el-cee
	Detachment or Avoidance (Preview) Hi all I read these messages frequently and find great wisdom in a lot of them and I am thankful for that. I am seeking some ESH with the following thoughts I am struggling with. My AD whom has stolen from us, lied repeatedly, made up all kinds of outlandish stories and I believe stole from other peop...	serenity47	15	993	Dec 15, 2014 by el-cee
	No Doubt...not ever. (Preview) Just have to share the spiritual magic with my MIP family. This morning was the return of a old program celebration which was interrupted by "Nazies" Nazies are book thumpers...black and white only no fluff or it isn't program. This is my other side of my program...I am a double and m...	Jerry F	9	839	Dec 15, 2014 by Jill
	feeling strung out. (Preview) OK. Now the police are not adding a provision. In effect this means no contact at all. Yay justice is served all will be well, honour women and children. Except for me in this situation it actually enforces powerlessness. I have managed to save a little bit. I have enrolled in a course which will lead to e...	aquamom23	10	682	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	was this a bad plan? (Preview) Hey gang, I been busy lately but things going pretty well for the RAH and me and the kids. til yesterday................ RAH had to have hernia surgery and of course pain meds because it was a pretty big repair. When he first told me that the doctor was giving him Percocet I was like a bull with a red cape...	jillybean1	7	682	Dec 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	God finds a way (Preview) I took a big risk when I decided to end my relationship with my A,I wasn't ready financially but I believed if I had stayed it wouldn't matter anyway,I would be in such bad shape emotionally I don't know if I could have endured much longer.My son came over the other day and offered help with my Christmas...	mjferg	10	631	Dec 14, 2014 by glad
	When the alcohol is gone but the behaviors are still there (Preview) My ABF stopped drinking 4 years ago but his behaviors which have continued to be there seem to be getting much worse mostly with me. For many years before he quit I had boundaries with the way he speaks to me which was usually only when he had been drinking. Now he seems to be speaking to me that way quiet o...	Holly09	8	696	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	bad marriage, alcoholic marriage or all of the above (Preview) This has been one of those weeks that just needs to end. It keeps getting worse each day. . The tension in our home is beyond suffocating. We all walk on eggshells trying to avoid upsetting the ah yet hes still upset. Nothing we do or say is "right". Never do we just move on. Little things get thr...	Theoceancalls	3	521	Dec 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	maybe I won without meaning to. Should I feel guilty? (Preview) People here often make mention of the fact that when you start to have boundaries and defend them, people push back, and hard. And change tactics... Well I did expect this and I have figured the only way to really grow and continue on a road to serenity is to limit my contact with people that are used to pus...	missmeliss	17	900	Dec 14, 2014 by hotrod
	I think I must be a misfit in this world (Preview) Yesterday my sister asked her alcoholic husband to leave because he is taking rent and grocery money for alcohol. She works, he sits and watches tv all day. He responded that he does not drink any more than any one else. I witnessed him when he went one day without drinking so he could 'fool' the doctor he...	deacon	11	847	Dec 14, 2014 by Newlife girl
	STOP and THINK (Preview) I heard a saying.....Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about. ******************************* I have to FIRST think----is this an unhealthy attachment/obsession on my part or is it really my HP prompting me to pursue for my own good???...the s...	neshema2	2	382	Dec 14, 2014 by el-cee
	Big News .. LOL! (Preview) Wellll .. interesting weekend .. kids found out Saturday after not seeing their dad for 8 weeks I think its been that he's getting married the 2nd weekend of January. Going to be interesting is putting it mildly .. they picked a non visitation weekend first off and the kids haven't met her yet nor did th...	SerenityRUS	22	1044	Dec 14, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	waiting for the police. this is how women get killed. (Preview) I opened the door at 1 am to a drunk and having done my inventory was able to say not a word just went back to bed. He wakes up our toddler proceeds to fall asleep with her while he is lying there with no underwear completely wasted. I grab the baby he gets violent threatens our son torments me. Screaming for h...	aquamom23	23	708	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	I care too much (Preview) As my AH sits in our home, not paying mortgage since June, I still wonder if he feels lonely. He has been saying passive aggressive things to me that hurt my feelings and then I feel guilty about leaving, and guilty about his dog being sad when we leave the house. He isn't clear about anything...getting a...	Newlife girl	8	813	Dec 13, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Foreclosure is coming...an update (Preview) Since AH hasn't agreed to sell the house, it's too late now to even try...even though he said he would sell it now. The bank needs a lot of information from us if we tried to sell it now. I looked up the impact on credit score for short sale vs foreclosure, and it's about the same. Only difference is you can b...	Newlife girl	15	710	Dec 13, 2014 by Newlife girl
	what kind of mother... (Preview) Cant live with her own son because it looks like hes an alcoholic? Cant face the full story.x -- Edited by el-cee on Friday 12th of December 2014 09:12:30 PM	el-cee	24	881	Dec 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Christmas Music (Preview) This morning while doing dishes, yes I am an AM dish washer, don't know exactly why, don't care exactly why, I just like doing them in the quiet morning. Anyway - I was singing quietly to myself my oldest favorite Christmas song and thinking (yes, thinking comes with singing) about all the great Christ...	likemyheart	10	946	Dec 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Keep looking at the trees (Preview)	Cathyinaz	10	845	Dec 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	NO I won't wait! (Preview) "Well you'll have to wait and we'll discuss this next week!" ""NO." "No I won't wait!!!" Sheesh! There it is- I thought I had a voice!!!! Dear family, he who cares less wins; although this is much more than that. I finally care about me more and it's time to tak...	bud	20	707	Dec 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Is it my problem or his? (Preview) This is my first post on here, so forgive me if it's lengthy. I am having issues with my husband and his drinking. Which is weird for me to say because it used to actually be WAY worse. But through years of us talking and trying to work on it, he has gotten a lot better. But when he does drink, he always takes it...	Jordan	6	692	Dec 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	My son has tried to commit suicide. (Preview) Hello, This is the first time i've been on this forum. My 41 year old son has tried to commit suicide and i don't know what to do. I'm so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. He's been sober for the last 2 years, but hasn't really changed anything else in his life, he's just stopped drinking, but his beh...	EdwinaGrace	8	896	Dec 13, 2014 by EdwinaGrace
	Aquamom and LC (Preview) Holding warm, positive thoughts of you both today Let us know how you are doing. "God Grant me Serenity "	hotrod	6	443	Dec 13, 2014 by aquamom23
	Financial bind (Preview) Since my AH has started doing the bills and inspecting the checking account with a fine tooth comb, he's come down on me hard and on my spending. I tried to point out that he's had access to all the accounts all this time but instead blamed me just because I was in charge. Now, what really ticks me off is th...	andromeda	10	677	Dec 13, 2014 by andromeda
	My New Job Starts on Monday! (Preview) I feel so blessed tonight. After years of Hell and dysfunction, in both my personal and career life, I feel like I'm finally moving towards where my HP feels I should be. I left my current, and crazy, job today and I start my new job on Monday- and my new boss is awesome (so far!)!!! Very thankful right now...	Green Eyes	6	518	Dec 12, 2014 by hotrod
	What about therapy for depression? (Preview) So now my s/o is having bad stomach pains. We've been going through this with every hypertension med. Each one works for a while, then he gets bad stomach pains, and he has to find something else. It was noticeable enough yesterday morning that the people at court noticed, passed the word around, an...	zebrafish	14	838	Dec 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Falling out of love with an addict (Preview) I feel as if I have lost my love for my 21 year old son due to his drug an alcohol use, and that surprises me because I have always felt my power to love was greater than most, yet here I am. I try to be the supportive dad but I am at the point where I just don't like him very much. It makes me feel like such a failu...	Cooper	15	880	Dec 12, 2014 by neshema2
	things can change overnight sometimes... (Preview) I guess when I voice how I feel sometimes it seems to change. I am starting to really stand up for myself. I don't feel intimidated by my AH. He is not the enemy. I can cope w/ whatever I have to. Since my mom has not been released from the hospital yet, I am very concerned. I have a lot of things that went wrong t...	Hoot Nanny	2	358	Dec 12, 2014 by PP
	another post...my cousin! (Preview) I will make this quick. I feel terrible about sending messages to my 2nd cousin who just PMed me about her mother not wanting to talk on the phone just by email or by letter. To be honest, I am kind of angry but feel guilty about caring & making mistakes w/ dealing w/ her now. She is very ill & all I wan...	Hoot Nanny	2	405	Dec 12, 2014 by hotrod
	time for more changes (Preview) I had a session with my therapist yesterday and I said I feel like a ghost floating around alone.I didn't realize it until the session,that is why I go to therapy,things come out in the sessions that I can't make a connection with but my therapist helps me put the puzzle together.I am an only child who gre...	mjferg	3	449	Dec 12, 2014 by el-cee
	detachment question (Preview) I have never gotten a comfortable understanding of detachment, and have struggled with it. My AD is in the hospital, having had gotten herself into a horrible position with someone. She is verbally abusive to me and said some cruel things this last go around. Now she calls and needs clothes, shamp...	akk	21	814	Dec 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired (Preview) It seems that every pay day AH doesn't come home, whether or not his family needs anything.. It is just getting worse and worse. He will leave me with next to nothing to get through the next week only for him to do it again. I don't no what to do, nothing I say gets through to him.. Just looking to talk..	FedUp	12	884	Dec 12, 2014 by Green Eyes
	Learn to apprecicate what you HAVE , B4 time forces U to appreciate what you HAD (Preview) I am facing this now with an adopted sister now in hospice care due to Alzheimer's....Her daughter, my niece, texted me w/this sad update today...Its hard to accept that my big sis and mentor is now in this sad condition....However, I am so glad I always treated her with love , respect and i kept up with...	neshema2	11	643	Dec 11, 2014 by grateful2be
	giving our power away (Preview) I've been noticing over the last few months how unhealthy songs are. (lol I know). I guess its the whole early recovery thing where like a child learning the alphabet, you see examples everywhere. I watched Selena Gomez heart wants what it wants and cringed for the poor girl.shes so young!!! And strik...	aquamom23	22	785	Dec 11, 2014 by bud
	boy, it sure kept hanging on... (Preview) I regretfully feel like crap about not being able to post on the mobile site. I don't have access to post on my cell phone at home. And, because I have been sick, I haven't been able to get to the library to get on this computer. I feel like I am missing something & feel left out. I have been wanting to get o...	Hoot Nanny	2	611	Dec 11, 2014 by hotrod
	Message from my wife from rehab (Preview) My wife's stay in rehab is coming to a close. I have had very little communication with her during her time there. She also has had very little communication with me or our three kids. Tonight I received an email from her that says that her counselors feel that our home is an unhealthy environment to r...	MooseWork	11	842	Dec 11, 2014 by el-cee
	What does a sponsor do? (Preview) I've been reading a lot of things on this site, but perhaps I've missed it. What does a sponsor do? Not only for Al-Anon, but I'm also curious for AA.	frustrationshigh	4	939	Dec 11, 2014 by Debilyn
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