Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Holly09 · Holly09

My ABF stopped drinking 4 years ago but his behaviors which have continued to be there seem to be getting much worse mostly with me. For many years before he quit I had boundaries with the way he speaks to me which was usually only when he had been drinking. Now he seems to be speaking to me that way quiet o...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

This has been one of those weeks that just needs to end. It keeps getting worse each day. . The tension in our home is beyond suffocating. We all walk on eggshells trying to avoid upsetting the ah yet hes still upset. Nothing we do or say is "right". Never do we just move on. Little things get thr...

missmeliss · missmeliss

People here often make mention of the fact that when you start to have boundaries and defend them, people push back, and hard. And change tactics... Well I did expect this and I have figured the only way to really grow and continue on a road to serenity is to limit my contact with people that are used to pus...

deacon · deacon

Yesterday my sister asked her alcoholic husband to leave because he is taking rent and grocery money for alcohol. She works, he sits and watches tv all day. He responded that he does not drink any more than any one else. I witnessed him when he went one day without drinking so he could 'fool' the doctor he...

neshema2 · neshema2

I heard a saying.....Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about. ******************************* I have to FIRST think----is this an unhealthy attachment/obsession on my part or is it really my HP prompting me to pursue for my own good???...the s...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Wellll .. interesting weekend .. kids found out Saturday after not seeing their dad for 8 weeks I think its been that he's getting married the 2nd weekend of January. Going to be interesting is putting it mildly .. they picked a non visitation weekend first off and the kids haven't met her yet nor did th...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I opened the door at 1 am to a drunk and having done my inventory was able to say not a word just went back to bed. He wakes up our toddler proceeds to fall asleep with her while he is lying there with no underwear completely wasted. I grab the baby he gets violent threatens our son torments me. Screaming for h...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

As my AH sits in our home, not paying mortgage since June, I still wonder if he feels lonely. He has been saying passive aggressive things to me that hurt my feelings and then I feel guilty about leaving, and guilty about his dog being sad when we leave the house. He isn't clear about anything...getting a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Since AH hasn't agreed to sell the house, it's too late now to even try...even though he said he would sell it now. The bank needs a lot of information from us if we tried to sell it now. I looked up the impact on credit score for short sale vs foreclosure, and it's about the same. Only difference is you can b...

el-cee · el-cee

Cant live with her own son because it looks like hes an alcoholic? Cant face the full story.x -- Edited by el-cee on Friday 12th of December 2014 09:12:30 PM

likemyheart · likemyheart

This morning while doing dishes, yes I am an AM dish washer, don't know exactly why, don't care exactly why, I just like doing them in the quiet morning. Anyway - I was singing quietly to myself my oldest favorite Christmas song and thinking (yes, thinking comes with singing) about all the great Christ...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

bud · bud

"Well you'll have to wait and we'll discuss this next week!" ""NO." "No I won't wait!!!" Sheesh! There it is- I thought I had a voice!!!! Dear family, he who cares less wins; although this is much more than that. I finally care about me more and it's time to tak...

Jordan · Jordan

This is my first post on here, so forgive me if it's lengthy. I am having issues with my husband and his drinking. Which is weird for me to say because it used to actually be WAY worse. But through years of us talking and trying to work on it, he has gotten a lot better. But when he does drink, he always takes it...

EdwinaGrace · EdwinaGrace

Hello, This is the first time i've been on this forum. My 41 year old son has tried to commit suicide and i don't know what to do. I'm so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. He's been sober for the last 2 years, but hasn't really changed anything else in his life, he's just stopped drinking, but his beh...

hotrod · hotrod

Holding warm, positive thoughts of you both today Let us know how you are doing. "God Grant me Serenity "

andromeda · andromeda

Since my AH has started doing the bills and inspecting the checking account with a fine tooth comb, he's come down on me hard and on my spending. I tried to point out that he's had access to all the accounts all this time but instead blamed me just because I was in charge. Now, what really ticks me off is th...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I feel so blessed tonight. After years of Hell and dysfunction, in both my personal and career life, I feel like I'm finally moving towards where my HP feels I should be. I left my current, and crazy, job today and I start my new job on Monday- and my new boss is awesome (so far!)!!! Very thankful right now...

zebrafish · zebrafish

So now my s/o is having bad stomach pains. We've been going through this with every hypertension med. Each one works for a while, then he gets bad stomach pains, and he has to find something else. It was noticeable enough yesterday morning that the people at court noticed, passed the word around, an...

Cooper · Cooper

I feel as if I have lost my love for my 21 year old son due to his drug an alcohol use, and that surprises me because I have always felt my power to love was greater than most, yet here I am. I try to be the supportive dad but I am at the point where I just don't like him very much. It makes me feel like such a failu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I guess when I voice how I feel sometimes it seems to change. I am starting to really stand up for myself. I don't feel intimidated by my AH. He is not the enemy. I can cope w/ whatever I have to. Since my mom has not been released from the hospital yet, I am very concerned. I have a lot of things that went wrong t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will make this quick. I feel terrible about sending messages to my 2nd cousin who just PMed me about her mother not wanting to talk on the phone just by email or by letter. To be honest, I am kind of angry but feel guilty about caring & making mistakes w/ dealing w/ her now. She is very ill & all I wan...

mjferg · mjferg

I had a session with my therapist yesterday and I said I feel like a ghost floating around alone.I didn't realize it until the session,that is why I go to therapy,things come out in the sessions that I can't make a connection with but my therapist helps me put the puzzle together.I am an only child who gre...

akk · akk

I have never gotten a comfortable understanding of detachment, and have struggled with it. My AD is in the hospital, having had gotten herself into a horrible position with someone. She is verbally abusive to me and said some cruel things this last go around. Now she calls and needs clothes, shamp...

FedUp · FedUp

It seems that every pay day AH doesn't come home, whether or not his family needs anything.. It is just getting worse and worse. He will leave me with next to nothing to get through the next week only for him to do it again. I don't no what to do, nothing I say gets through to him.. Just looking to talk..

neshema2 · neshema2

I am facing this now with an adopted sister now in hospice care due to Alzheimer's....Her daughter, my niece, texted me w/this sad update today...Its hard to accept that my big sis and mentor is now in this sad condition....However, I am so glad I always treated her with love , respect and i kept up with...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I've been noticing over the last few months how unhealthy songs are. (lol I know). I guess its the whole early recovery thing where like a child learning the alphabet, you see examples everywhere. I watched Selena Gomez heart wants what it wants and cringed for the poor girl.shes so young!!! And strik...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I regretfully feel like crap about not being able to post on the mobile site. I don't have access to post on my cell phone at home. And, because I have been sick, I haven't been able to get to the library to get on this computer. I feel like I am missing something & feel left out. I have been wanting to get o...

MooseWork · MooseWork

My wife's stay in rehab is coming to a close. I have had very little communication with her during her time there. She also has had very little communication with me or our three kids. Tonight I received an email from her that says that her counselors feel that our home is an unhealthy environment to r...

frustrationshigh · frustrationshigh

I've been reading a lot of things on this site, but perhaps I've missed it. What does a sponsor do? Not only for Al-Anon, but I'm also curious for AA.

frustrationshigh · frustrationshigh

Yesterday was a pretty rough day for everyone involved in my family's lives. My AW had an even worse day than normal (instead of 1 or 2 bottles of wine, she had 4) and just went bonkers on everyone. My phone was blowing up with calls/texts from my in-laws yesterday. I got the onslaught when I got home. ...

Peace59 · Peace59

Hi, I am looking for a Temp Sponsor or Sponsor. My present Sponsor has decided to not attend meetings any longer. I have been in the program a while - about 15 years. I am self employed and work with my A husband who is sober without a program-quite a challenge at times. As it says in our opening in Al Anon -...

Jerry F · Jerry F

December 10th, page 345. I have always loved this powerful courageous page in our daily reader. It says it powerfully to me even down to Henry W Lf's note. Give it a read and hope you have the publication. (((((MIP)))))

mjferg · mjferg

I went out yesterday and picked up some gifts for my daughter yesterday,it isn't much but it is all I can do right now.I got the tree today,I love the smell of a real tree,they were marked down.It's beautiful.You know right now I just have a heart full of gratitude,I wish I could put into words how much thi...

Truth · Truth

K well after my well intentioned listening ....I had another phone call from my friend...I have no idea if we will be friends anymore. I tried to listen for over 45 minutes while she talked, i tried to speak I got interrupted, so I waited, then I tried to talk and she started talking to people in the backgr...

Debb · Debb

I know that the drinking makes AH unreasonable and abusive, but it always is upsetting. I parked the car, when I came home from work in a different spot so the tree full of pigeons would not make a mess all over it and I forgot to turn the porch light on for him and he came in raging and moved the car and scream...

BruceKent · BruceKent

Hi there. First post, so please go easy on me. I hope I'm doing this right, and that I'm in the right place. If not, forgive me. I'm in a rough spot, in that I don't know what direction to take my life. I've been involved with an alcoholic girlfriend now for 6 months. She was an alcoholic before we star...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Avatar is me this morning. I woke up in a bad mood. I went walking on the beach because I figured if that didn't cheer me up nothing would. It worked. My day was mostly good after that. Things here are very hard. The son who's room I am renting has come back and is sleeping on the couch. Housemate lady has been...

Teepee85 · Teepee85

Hi everyone my name is Tanya and this is my first introduction to Al anon community. I've been married to my AH for 6 years now and it's been a very trying WTF time! he has been in and out of rehab but this last time there seems to be considerable improvement. He's been sober for nearly 3 months now and it's G...

tiredmummy · tiredmummy

OK trying to keep this short, hubby and I have been together 11 years and over that time his drinking has got worse! Since June when his brother with a few spare bedrooms moved closer it got even worse! My husband is kind, loving, and generous when hes not drinking when he is nothing else matters! since Ju...

Overcome · Overcome

There used to be a book on here that was a "sticky" at the top of the page. I think it was called "Getting them Sober" does anyone know anything about that? Thanks in advance.

Debilyn · Debilyn

hi all, I have shared I am a sucker. Bad at staying all business when it comes to being a landlord. So again, ad says,"Desperate for pasture for horses." I invite her to bring them over. set an amount and expectations. omg one of the rescues is a houdini horse. shilo. I called him Bozo as I swear...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Grieving, Fear, Trust The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which us...

neshema2 · neshema2

THis isn't alanon, but it is a facet of my recovery... I have had this latest back spasm problem for about 2.5 weeks now.....i would feel hope/progress then sunday BANG...i did something to aggravate it and was unable to walk w/out great difficulty and very slowly this am I drug me to my doc b/c i could n...

anna_m · anna_m

i have spent my adult life surrounded by addicts, recreationally using myself, but have never been involved in AA or Al-anon. Last week i put my foot down with my boyfriend (of only 4 or 6 months; have known each other for about a year). I knew the substances that bonded us would drive us apart, and of co...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I hope you guys will allow it!! This house doesn't have a letter-box. I enjoy many aspects of the lifestyle here but there are some things lacking such as an oven, clothesline and, a letterbox and the post-man tends to throw the letters on the ground with angry writing "why don't you have a letterb...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been watching a series on King Henry the 8th, I enjoy history and stories about real people.As I was watching I realized what a brute this man was and what a big ego he had.He desired a son to reign when he died,A girl would not be competent, and he went through 6 wives and had one son .He spent years of h...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've made no secret of the fact that life is hard lately and I am really fed up with it and prone to feeling sorry for myself and then beating myself up for feeling sorry for myself...lol woe is me. But having watched the way life unfolds and the way things happen all by themselves, I have no doubt that it all...

being a member of alanon.... · el-cee

Means to me that I have a responsibility to pass on what I have been given. Its a fellowship of equals so people give and get. How have you, or do you pass it on? And what do you get in return? Has it ever went wrong? -- Edited by el-cee on Saturday 6th of December 2014 06:41:31 AM

grateful2be · grateful2be

When I reached puberty, my Mom and Dad had a host of little people to care for and to raise. My Mom, an untreated ACOA, was driven by the need to do everything perfectly. Our Christmases looked like they had been put together by a large team of elves and our house looked like something out of Good Houseke...

mjferg · mjferg

I am upset today!My ex called my teenage daughter last night,it was late and she didn't realize it was him calling.I was in bed when she came and told me.I changed my phone number but I wasn't even thinking about her phone at the time,I have had so much on my plate.It really makes me angry that he had the ner...

zebrafish · zebrafish

So today he mentioned that he had to take the checks and go to the bank, and I said something like "I'm not doing it," and he snapped "I know." So I don't know if he just didn't like being reminded, or if he's mad that I'm not doing it any more. I have a lot to learn yet. I guess a lot of p...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

i just watched my empathy be flushed down the alcoholic toilet of hell. Sorry...but I am at my wits end. The other night AH was being open and honest..so I thought. In the last few days since then, he has turned his attitude around...kinda like the Exorcist scene where what's her name twists her head all...

LinSC · LinSC

Become an I dont know it all. Whenever you find yourself getting anxious about the big and small deaths of daily lifebeing out of control, not getting what you want, endings and partingstake a few minutes to allow in the possibility that you do not see the full picture. Often what looks terrible today w...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since leaving my exAH I left with a ton of credit card debt from the both of us. For the last few years I have been able to make payments and carry on per usual, but since my 16 year old started driving that is another expense her car, gas, insurance and my old car died so now I have a car payment and my car insura...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Someone had asked me for the title of the book my home group in AA is reading. I'm so glad to be going back to these meetings it just really reminds me how far I have to go. Drop the Rock Removing Character Defects Steps Six and Seven All I can say is WOW .. this book for me has put a few things into perspectiv...

LinSC · LinSC

My son has been sober for a year now. But that doesnt say a whole lot because he doesnt have a program so is growing very slow as far as picking up new habits and characteristics. As for me I have just been glad I have not had to deal with him. I now realize how exhausted I was after all those years of trying to &q...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My AH just went into rehab on Monday after we had a huge fight and I kicked him out of the house. He said so many mean things over the weekend and then by Sunday and Monday came back to his senses and decided he really did need help. I just don't know if I am fooling myself thinking that well if he really stays so...

LinSC · LinSC

Because of the what if's that I am experiencing this Christmas season, because of my son's past drinking. I hesitate to go visit him and family. Although he has been sober for over a year, does not have a program and has not grown a lot in his problem solving capabilities. But I want to see my Grand baby! He...

andromeda · andromeda

So, all of a sudden AH is worried about the finances. Claims his job is on the line, that we will be out of savings by the spring, that he just has to find a way to figure this whole mess out.....Of course, I've been managing the finances for the past few years so there's a lot of guilt in my head right now abou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	When the alcohol is gone but the behaviors are still there (Preview) My ABF stopped drinking 4 years ago but his behaviors which have continued to be there seem to be getting much worse mostly with me. For many years before he quit I had boundaries with the way he speaks to me which was usually only when he had been drinking. Now he seems to be speaking to me that way quiet o...	Holly09	8	630	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	bad marriage, alcoholic marriage or all of the above (Preview) This has been one of those weeks that just needs to end. It keeps getting worse each day. . The tension in our home is beyond suffocating. We all walk on eggshells trying to avoid upsetting the ah yet hes still upset. Nothing we do or say is "right". Never do we just move on. Little things get thr...	Theoceancalls	3	457	Dec 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	maybe I won without meaning to. Should I feel guilty? (Preview) People here often make mention of the fact that when you start to have boundaries and defend them, people push back, and hard. And change tactics... Well I did expect this and I have figured the only way to really grow and continue on a road to serenity is to limit my contact with people that are used to pus...	missmeliss	17	835	Dec 14, 2014 by hotrod
	I think I must be a misfit in this world (Preview) Yesterday my sister asked her alcoholic husband to leave because he is taking rent and grocery money for alcohol. She works, he sits and watches tv all day. He responded that he does not drink any more than any one else. I witnessed him when he went one day without drinking so he could 'fool' the doctor he...	deacon	11	785	Dec 14, 2014 by Newlife girl
	STOP and THINK (Preview) I heard a saying.....Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about. ******************************* I have to FIRST think----is this an unhealthy attachment/obsession on my part or is it really my HP prompting me to pursue for my own good???...the s...	neshema2	2	318	Dec 14, 2014 by el-cee
	Big News .. LOL! (Preview) Wellll .. interesting weekend .. kids found out Saturday after not seeing their dad for 8 weeks I think its been that he's getting married the 2nd weekend of January. Going to be interesting is putting it mildly .. they picked a non visitation weekend first off and the kids haven't met her yet nor did th...	SerenityRUS	22	959	Dec 14, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	waiting for the police. this is how women get killed. (Preview) I opened the door at 1 am to a drunk and having done my inventory was able to say not a word just went back to bed. He wakes up our toddler proceeds to fall asleep with her while he is lying there with no underwear completely wasted. I grab the baby he gets violent threatens our son torments me. Screaming for h...	aquamom23	23	645	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	I care too much (Preview) As my AH sits in our home, not paying mortgage since June, I still wonder if he feels lonely. He has been saying passive aggressive things to me that hurt my feelings and then I feel guilty about leaving, and guilty about his dog being sad when we leave the house. He isn't clear about anything...getting a...	Newlife girl	8	753	Dec 13, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Foreclosure is coming...an update (Preview) Since AH hasn't agreed to sell the house, it's too late now to even try...even though he said he would sell it now. The bank needs a lot of information from us if we tried to sell it now. I looked up the impact on credit score for short sale vs foreclosure, and it's about the same. Only difference is you can b...	Newlife girl	15	640	Dec 13, 2014 by Newlife girl
	what kind of mother... (Preview) Cant live with her own son because it looks like hes an alcoholic? Cant face the full story.x -- Edited by el-cee on Friday 12th of December 2014 09:12:30 PM	el-cee	24	819	Dec 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Christmas Music (Preview) This morning while doing dishes, yes I am an AM dish washer, don't know exactly why, don't care exactly why, I just like doing them in the quiet morning. Anyway - I was singing quietly to myself my oldest favorite Christmas song and thinking (yes, thinking comes with singing) about all the great Christ...	likemyheart	10	805	Dec 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Keep looking at the trees (Preview)	Cathyinaz	10	784	Dec 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	NO I won't wait! (Preview) "Well you'll have to wait and we'll discuss this next week!" ""NO." "No I won't wait!!!" Sheesh! There it is- I thought I had a voice!!!! Dear family, he who cares less wins; although this is much more than that. I finally care about me more and it's time to tak...	bud	20	646	Dec 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Is it my problem or his? (Preview) This is my first post on here, so forgive me if it's lengthy. I am having issues with my husband and his drinking. Which is weird for me to say because it used to actually be WAY worse. But through years of us talking and trying to work on it, he has gotten a lot better. But when he does drink, he always takes it...	Jordan	6	633	Dec 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	My son has tried to commit suicide. (Preview) Hello, This is the first time i've been on this forum. My 41 year old son has tried to commit suicide and i don't know what to do. I'm so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. He's been sober for the last 2 years, but hasn't really changed anything else in his life, he's just stopped drinking, but his beh...	EdwinaGrace	8	822	Dec 13, 2014 by EdwinaGrace
	Aquamom and LC (Preview) Holding warm, positive thoughts of you both today Let us know how you are doing. "God Grant me Serenity "	hotrod	6	378	Dec 13, 2014 by aquamom23
	Financial bind (Preview) Since my AH has started doing the bills and inspecting the checking account with a fine tooth comb, he's come down on me hard and on my spending. I tried to point out that he's had access to all the accounts all this time but instead blamed me just because I was in charge. Now, what really ticks me off is th...	andromeda	10	617	Dec 13, 2014 by andromeda
	My New Job Starts on Monday! (Preview) I feel so blessed tonight. After years of Hell and dysfunction, in both my personal and career life, I feel like I'm finally moving towards where my HP feels I should be. I left my current, and crazy, job today and I start my new job on Monday- and my new boss is awesome (so far!)!!! Very thankful right now...	Green Eyes	6	456	Dec 12, 2014 by hotrod
	What about therapy for depression? (Preview) So now my s/o is having bad stomach pains. We've been going through this with every hypertension med. Each one works for a while, then he gets bad stomach pains, and he has to find something else. It was noticeable enough yesterday morning that the people at court noticed, passed the word around, an...	zebrafish	14	765	Dec 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Falling out of love with an addict (Preview) I feel as if I have lost my love for my 21 year old son due to his drug an alcohol use, and that surprises me because I have always felt my power to love was greater than most, yet here I am. I try to be the supportive dad but I am at the point where I just don't like him very much. It makes me feel like such a failu...	Cooper	15	814	Dec 12, 2014 by neshema2
	things can change overnight sometimes... (Preview) I guess when I voice how I feel sometimes it seems to change. I am starting to really stand up for myself. I don't feel intimidated by my AH. He is not the enemy. I can cope w/ whatever I have to. Since my mom has not been released from the hospital yet, I am very concerned. I have a lot of things that went wrong t...	Hoot Nanny	2	297	Dec 12, 2014 by PP
	another post...my cousin! (Preview) I will make this quick. I feel terrible about sending messages to my 2nd cousin who just PMed me about her mother not wanting to talk on the phone just by email or by letter. To be honest, I am kind of angry but feel guilty about caring & making mistakes w/ dealing w/ her now. She is very ill & all I wan...	Hoot Nanny	2	347	Dec 12, 2014 by hotrod
	time for more changes (Preview) I had a session with my therapist yesterday and I said I feel like a ghost floating around alone.I didn't realize it until the session,that is why I go to therapy,things come out in the sessions that I can't make a connection with but my therapist helps me put the puzzle together.I am an only child who gre...	mjferg	3	380	Dec 12, 2014 by el-cee
	detachment question (Preview) I have never gotten a comfortable understanding of detachment, and have struggled with it. My AD is in the hospital, having had gotten herself into a horrible position with someone. She is verbally abusive to me and said some cruel things this last go around. Now she calls and needs clothes, shamp...	akk	21	742	Dec 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired (Preview) It seems that every pay day AH doesn't come home, whether or not his family needs anything.. It is just getting worse and worse. He will leave me with next to nothing to get through the next week only for him to do it again. I don't no what to do, nothing I say gets through to him.. Just looking to talk..	FedUp	12	816	Dec 12, 2014 by Green Eyes
	Learn to apprecicate what you HAVE , B4 time forces U to appreciate what you HAD (Preview) I am facing this now with an adopted sister now in hospice care due to Alzheimer's....Her daughter, my niece, texted me w/this sad update today...Its hard to accept that my big sis and mentor is now in this sad condition....However, I am so glad I always treated her with love , respect and i kept up with...	neshema2	11	580	Dec 11, 2014 by grateful2be
	giving our power away (Preview) I've been noticing over the last few months how unhealthy songs are. (lol I know). I guess its the whole early recovery thing where like a child learning the alphabet, you see examples everywhere. I watched Selena Gomez heart wants what it wants and cringed for the poor girl.shes so young!!! And strik...	aquamom23	22	717	Dec 11, 2014 by bud
	boy, it sure kept hanging on... (Preview) I regretfully feel like crap about not being able to post on the mobile site. I don't have access to post on my cell phone at home. And, because I have been sick, I haven't been able to get to the library to get on this computer. I feel like I am missing something & feel left out. I have been wanting to get o...	Hoot Nanny	2	539	Dec 11, 2014 by hotrod
	Message from my wife from rehab (Preview) My wife's stay in rehab is coming to a close. I have had very little communication with her during her time there. She also has had very little communication with me or our three kids. Tonight I received an email from her that says that her counselors feel that our home is an unhealthy environment to r...	MooseWork	11	778	Dec 11, 2014 by el-cee
	What does a sponsor do? (Preview) I've been reading a lot of things on this site, but perhaps I've missed it. What does a sponsor do? Not only for Al-Anon, but I'm also curious for AA.	frustrationshigh	4	849	Dec 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	What a rough day (Preview) Yesterday was a pretty rough day for everyone involved in my family's lives. My AW had an even worse day than normal (instead of 1 or 2 bottles of wine, she had 4) and just went bonkers on everyone. My phone was blowing up with calls/texts from my in-laws yesterday. I got the onslaught when I got home. ...	frustrationshigh	10	607	Dec 11, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Temp Sponsor (Preview) Hi, I am looking for a Temp Sponsor or Sponsor. My present Sponsor has decided to not attend meetings any longer. I have been in the program a while - about 15 years. I am self employed and work with my A husband who is sober without a program-quite a challenge at times. As it says in our opening in Al Anon -...	Peace59	0	296	Dec 11, 2014 by Peace59
	Courage to Change (Preview) December 10th, page 345. I have always loved this powerful courageous page in our daily reader. It says it powerfully to me even down to Henry W Lf's note. Give it a read and hope you have the publication. (((((MIP)))))	Jerry F	7	810	Dec 11, 2014 by Teepee85
	A peaceful little christmas (Preview) I went out yesterday and picked up some gifts for my daughter yesterday,it isn't much but it is all I can do right now.I got the tree today,I love the smell of a real tree,they were marked down.It's beautiful.You know right now I just have a heart full of gratitude,I wish I could put into words how much thi...	mjferg	5	513	Dec 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	Just plain old irritable (Preview) K well after my well intentioned listening ....I had another phone call from my friend...I have no idea if we will be friends anymore. I tried to listen for over 45 minutes while she talked, i tried to speak I got interrupted, so I waited, then I tried to talk and she started talking to people in the backgr...	Truth	19	569	Dec 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	Another ruined week-end ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I know that the drinking makes AH unreasonable and abusive, but it always is upsetting. I parked the car, when I came home from work in a different spot so the tree full of pigeons would not make a mess all over it and I forgot to turn the porch light on for him and he came in raging and moved the car and scream...	Debb	58	1333	Dec 10, 2014 by neshema2
	Will ABC stores confirm suspicions? (Preview) Hi there. First post, so please go easy on me. I hope I'm doing this right, and that I'm in the right place. If not, forgive me. I'm in a rough spot, in that I don't know what direction to take my life. I've been involved with an alcoholic girlfriend now for 6 months. She was an alcoholic before we star...	BruceKent	27	838	Dec 10, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Blah blah moan moan (Preview) Avatar is me this morning. I woke up in a bad mood. I went walking on the beach because I figured if that didn't cheer me up nothing would. It worked. My day was mostly good after that. Things here are very hard. The son who's room I am renting has come back and is sleeping on the couch. Housemate lady has been...	missmeliss	20	831	Dec 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Struggling to cope with recovering AH (Preview) Hi everyone my name is Tanya and this is my first introduction to Al anon community. I've been married to my AH for 6 years now and it's been a very trying WTF time! he has been in and out of rehab but this last time there seems to be considerable improvement. He's been sober for nearly 3 months now and it's G...	Teepee85	36	846	Dec 10, 2014 by Teepee85
	Newbie. (Preview) OK trying to keep this short, hubby and I have been together 11 years and over that time his drinking has got worse! Since June when his brother with a few spare bedrooms moved closer it got even worse! My husband is kind, loving, and generous when hes not drinking when he is nothing else matters! since Ju...	tiredmummy	8	581	Dec 10, 2014 by Debilyn
	Getting them Sober (Preview) There used to be a book on here that was a "sticky" at the top of the page. I think it was called "Getting them Sober" does anyone know anything about that? Thanks in advance.	Overcome	9	676	Dec 10, 2014 by Flower49
	Guess I grew up more (Preview) hi all, I have shared I am a sucker. Bad at staying all business when it comes to being a landlord. So again, ad says,"Desperate for pasture for horses." I invite her to bring them over. set an amount and expectations. omg one of the rescues is a houdini horse. shilo. I called him Bozo as I swear...	Debilyn	6	682	Dec 10, 2014 by andromeda
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) (Preview) WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Grieving, Fear, Trust The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which us...	shimo	0	201	Dec 10, 2014 by shimo
	learning to know when its time to get help (Preview) THis isn't alanon, but it is a facet of my recovery... I have had this latest back spasm problem for about 2.5 weeks now.....i would feel hope/progress then sunday BANG...i did something to aggravate it and was unable to walk w/out great difficulty and very slowly this am I drug me to my doc b/c i could n...	neshema2	17	621	Dec 10, 2014 by PP
	new to al-anon (Preview) i have spent my adult life surrounded by addicts, recreationally using myself, but have never been involved in AA or Al-anon. Last week i put my foot down with my boyfriend (of only 4 or 6 months; have known each other for about a year). I knew the substances that bonded us would drive us apart, and of co...	anna_m	12	613	Dec 10, 2014 by aquamom23
	This is absolutely not al-anon BUT (Preview) I hope you guys will allow it!! This house doesn't have a letter-box. I enjoy many aspects of the lifestyle here but there are some things lacking such as an oven, clothesline and, a letterbox and the post-man tends to throw the letters on the ground with angry writing "why don't you have a letterb...	missmeliss	4	660	Dec 9, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Another lesson in control! (Preview) I have been watching a series on King Henry the 8th, I enjoy history and stories about real people.As I was watching I realized what a brute this man was and what a big ego he had.He desired a son to reign when he died,A girl would not be competent, and he went through 6 wives and had one son .He spent years of h...	mjferg	3	369	Dec 9, 2014 by Debilyn
	The Gain (Preview) I've made no secret of the fact that life is hard lately and I am really fed up with it and prone to feeling sorry for myself and then beating myself up for feeling sorry for myself...lol woe is me. But having watched the way life unfolds and the way things happen all by themselves, I have no doubt that it all...	missmeliss	4	491	Dec 9, 2014 by hotrod
	being a member of alanon.... (Preview) Means to me that I have a responsibility to pass on what I have been given. Its a fellowship of equals so people give and get. How have you, or do you pass it on? And what do you get in return? Has it ever went wrong? -- Edited by el-cee on Saturday 6th of December 2014 06:41:31 AM	el-cee	29	779	Dec 9, 2014 by hotrod
	Christmas, gift giving and Alanon recovery (Preview) When I reached puberty, my Mom and Dad had a host of little people to care for and to raise. My Mom, an untreated ACOA, was driven by the need to do everything perfectly. Our Christmases looked like they had been put together by a large team of elves and our house looked like something out of Good Houseke...	grateful2be	27	920	Dec 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	need to let this go! (Preview) I am upset today!My ex called my teenage daughter last night,it was late and she didn't realize it was him calling.I was in bed when she came and told me.I changed my phone number but I wasn't even thinking about her phone at the time,I have had so much on my plate.It really makes me angry that he had the ner...	mjferg	17	721	Dec 8, 2014 by mjferg
	S/O snapped at me.... (Preview) So today he mentioned that he had to take the checks and go to the bank, and I said something like "I'm not doing it," and he snapped "I know." So I don't know if he just didn't like being reminded, or if he's mad that I'm not doing it any more. I have a lot to learn yet. I guess a lot of p...	zebrafish	6	734	Dec 8, 2014 by neshema2
	Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice...shame on me (Preview) i just watched my empathy be flushed down the alcoholic toilet of hell. Sorry...but I am at my wits end. The other night AH was being open and honest..so I thought. In the last few days since then, he has turned his attitude around...kinda like the Exorcist scene where what's her name twists her head all...	Newlife girl	8	790	Dec 8, 2014 by andromeda
	A Good Word For Today (Preview) Become an I dont know it all. Whenever you find yourself getting anxious about the big and small deaths of daily lifebeing out of control, not getting what you want, endings and partingstake a few minutes to allow in the possibility that you do not see the full picture. Often what looks terrible today w...	LinSC	7	487	Dec 8, 2014 by andromeda
	Filing for bankruptcy and need ESH (Preview) Since leaving my exAH I left with a ton of credit card debt from the both of us. For the last few years I have been able to make payments and carry on per usual, but since my 16 year old started driving that is another expense her car, gas, insurance and my old car died so now I have a car payment and my car insura...	Breakingfree	13	756	Dec 7, 2014 by PP
	Open AA Metting Book (Preview) Someone had asked me for the title of the book my home group in AA is reading. I'm so glad to be going back to these meetings it just really reminds me how far I have to go. Drop the Rock Removing Character Defects Steps Six and Seven All I can say is WOW .. this book for me has put a few things into perspectiv...	SerenityRUS	2	331	Dec 7, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Some Thoughts on Time Flys (Preview) My son has been sober for a year now. But that doesnt say a whole lot because he doesnt have a program so is growing very slow as far as picking up new habits and characteristics. As for me I have just been glad I have not had to deal with him. I now realize how exhausted I was after all those years of trying to &q...	LinSC	3	499	Dec 7, 2014 by hotrod
	Is there any hope? (Preview) My AH just went into rehab on Monday after we had a huge fight and I kicked him out of the house. He said so many mean things over the weekend and then by Sunday and Monday came back to his senses and decided he really did need help. I just don't know if I am fooling myself thinking that well if he really stays so...	Helpangel	9	775	Dec 7, 2014 by Debilyn
	THE "WHAT IF'S" (Preview) Because of the what if's that I am experiencing this Christmas season, because of my son's past drinking. I hesitate to go visit him and family. Although he has been sober for over a year, does not have a program and has not grown a lot in his problem solving capabilities. But I want to see my Grand baby! He...	LinSC	9	741	Dec 7, 2014 by Debilyn
	All of a sudden (Preview) So, all of a sudden AH is worried about the finances. Claims his job is on the line, that we will be out of savings by the spring, that he just has to find a way to figure this whole mess out.....Of course, I've been managing the finances for the past few years so there's a lot of guilt in my head right now abou...	andromeda	26	949	Dec 7, 2014 by andromeda
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.