Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Inundated · Inundated

I'm not sure, as I sit here, what exactly I am hoping to gain by typing this out. I don't know that anyone can advise me on an effective solution or soothe me with words of wisdom. My earliest memories as a child are of my father or about my father and his being drunk, violent, out of control, or all of the abov...

Lucers73 · Lucers73

not sure how this works, so I'm trying

My friend told me about you as I'm struggling at the moment. I have ME & pretty much housebound so unable to go to meetings. My husband is an alcoholic but is still in denial. Currently he drinks 3 bottles of wine & a bottle of vodka a night, tho tells me he st...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It was time to take daughter to her dads yesterday, and once again I arranged with A to come and drive with me as I thought (erroneously) that I was not ready to do the big drive by myself and needed help. No, I didn't particularly want to see him if that's how it sounds, I just still feel very fearful of dri...

sookie · sookie

Well, yesterday we signed a settlement agreement and I will be able to file divorce papers later this week (uncontested divorce--I did ALL the paperwork myself). I am feeling so many mixed emotions--it is not easy to describe. The hardest part of this has been feeling the AH's anger towards me. I fee...

MaxGleam · MaxGleam

I'm busy and can't really go out to meetings, but I feel like having community support will help me get through the holidays. The holidays are always hard. I feel so helpless and was hoping that by reaching out here, I might be able to convert these feelings into something else or at least shift my perspe...

joker · joker

I have read what has been shared on my last topic and it makes so much sense. I have been doing the 4th step al-anon inventory and this morning I wrote 17 pages in my journal. I see my pattern of being with alcoholic men and what its doing to me. I am the one that falls apart and needs help, yet the Alcoholic jus...

Sapphronia · Sapphronia

Hi I am Marva. I am new to the board and have a passing familiarity with Alanon. I've referred many to it. I live in a rural area with no meetings and I need help. I am involved with a man who is sober 30+ years with no program and no peaceful sobriety. He might as well still be drunk the way I react to him. I reall...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Dorothy Day has been quoted as saying she believed that beauty will save us. I don't know if that is true or not. I do know that today I went to a Christmas tea with women in my aqua yoga class and other women who are in a morning water exercise class with the yoga and exercise instructor. The table was lad...

NEP · NEP

I would just like to introduce myself. My name is Nick, I am 27 years old. I am the son of a functioning alchoholic, and the mother of my children is an alchoholic as well. I have just recently found out about Al-Anon, and I plan on attending my first meeting tomorrow night. I think this can really be a usefu...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Is anybody else noticing two white boxes at the top of this screen advertising ways to manage our advertising and forums for our website? Irritating.

ohno · ohno

I went to see my spiritual counselor yesterday and she told me to think of myself as a Monk, at the moment - basically to take care of myself and do my inner work. I really like this image and it is already helping me. I have been "praying without ceasing" when worry shows up and when I wake up in th...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a grateful member of alanon, real life and virtual. I joined this family, here on line 2 years ago this week. Ive learned a lot, feel like ive made friends, probably annoyed some folks sometimes but hey thats none of my business thankfully. Lol. Feel like ive grown. Im almost 3 yrs old, im growing up fa...

John · John

Hi Everyone, While I am sure I could go into a rant about a few things going on in my life, I have to refrain simply because I set the stage for much of it to unfold. Surrender and Acceptance has been my strong hold this past few months. Okay, The good stuff first. I finally quite smoking!! No patches, e-...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Today is not going well emotionally for me. I am asking for online hugs. I find myself mourning the end of my first marriage. when my first husband left me for another woman, I surely thought I would die. Along came AH to the rescue 7 months later! Obviously, I was on the rebound and this marriage didn't wo...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have my last final tomorrow so I am staying at his house, because he is 45 minutes closer to school and his house is quiet. I do it about once a month and it's usually peaceful and nice. Tonight his ex-wife that has wanted to meet me the last 9 months did a drop in with their 11 year old and it was awkward and le...

ohno · ohno

Just wondering about your experiences with your HP helping you. What specifically has your HP done for you? I believe in God, angels, saints, guides, you-name-it . . . and I feel I have been healed of some traumas, comforted in bad times, etc., but when I pray for my grandson and when he prays for himself...

ymvv2000 · ymvv2000

A question for the double winners. My husband has been in AA for almost 12 months. I've been in Al-Anon for 10 months. Exactly what does 'constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves' mean? Does it apply to Al-Anon? I overhead a conversation between my husband and what I took to be a...

hopes314 · hopes314

My sponsor says she can spot an A but I don't think I have the ability to do this unless I see them drinking! It makes me wonder about my doctor, dentist, and lawyer people who I trust their wisdom and advice? Maybe I need to be more discernment.. What wouldI look for? Heck the only time I know for sure is...

ohno · ohno

hello all: i find myself here after 15 years of active alanon. raised my kids. one of them is now alcoholic and acting out. i only know the tip of the iceberg, thankfully. she is raising my teen grandson. i worry for him. the entire family is affected (of course). she has rage and entitlement issues, narc...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Tonight, I went to my grandson's high school holiday concert. I listened to the strings, 3 choirs and then his symphonic band. I watched my 15 year old, sophomore grandson file in with his classmates, sporting the new tie he'd talked his Mom into buying. I saw him find his seat with his baritone be...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Hate crying. Just hate it. Was told years ago that grief is sometimes mourning for the loss of an ideal. Its really very late here but I can't sleep yet. I'll pay for that tomorrow. All alone in a big city the week before xmas its my babies first Christmas our first with three kids. And were going to be alone...

mjferg · mjferg

I spent the day with my youngest son,we delivered gifts to the nursing home,both of my parents are there.My father was an alcoholic and a very angry man,we have never been close.I sat by my mother's bed and watched her,she has dementia,I always cry when I see her.My father came over to me and hugged me ti...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59246554/alanon-step-10-12-2014/

ohno · ohno

I posted here five year's ago about my alcoholic daughter. I was able to let go of her and her alcoholism for the most part, but in the meantime, my grandson, now age 21 is in dire straights. We found out he was alcoholic when he was 18, sent him to rehab - since then he has been in an SLE, in jail, "okay&q...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

2wks ago,ah went on drinking binge for 4 days. he skipped work and then threw up so much that he had to be hospitalized for dehydration,hbp and vitamin depletion. he really suffered physically with stomach pains,weakness and tremors. again he made that useless promise that it was so bad,he was goin...

joker · joker

I have been with alcoholic for 7 months, he works in camp for 2 weeks at time and home for a week. I have my own apartment with daughter. The past 7 months has been very unstable due to A binge drinkings during the week he is off work. He even drinks in camp, and has gone through numerous jobs. When he is at home...

missmeliss · missmeliss

pinkchip · pinkchip

Recovery really is a balancing act. Once I get something unhealthy out of my life, I have to watch out for new unhealthy behaviors and character defects arising. Okay, so I stopped drinking and ended a really toxic relationship with another A. For a long time I engaged in these self destructive beh...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Well we woke up late today at 7 am and I was feeling quite nervous. I didn't rush through the morning. Went to court, my file wasn't there. But I discovered something interesting about myself. When it came down to advocating for myself and children an intellectual side came out utterly divorced of fear...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I'm having some issues with my apartment, which has put me in a hotel b/c it is not safe to sleep there right now. I have stayed in 2 diff. hotels, whatever has been cheapest, and on a friends sofa one night. I am feeling beat by life. And this, is making me miss my Aexbf. Plus it is the holidays, and I am forced...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Daughter's graduation ceremony is tomorrow night. A while ago I promised her the works, a new dress, shoes etc but of course that was no longer possible and I was worried she would feel yukky next to her dressed up friends. But we've been scouring the op-shops, tonight we finally found great shoes, bel...

Truth · Truth

I stayed home from work today. My body is tired and needs sleep. On Monday, I phoned the police. My ex-A must be testing my boundaries and decided he could drop off some stuff at my house. A present for his son that he had the day before at his visit and did not give him. I kind of knew by his inflated ego respon...

mjferg · mjferg

Well I am battling with life again,that's me, ever ready for a crisis,I got very angry and upset about some things and had a panic attack.I saw my therapist today and she asked me if I have ever lived a crisis free life, or feeling like one was just around the corner, and I said I have no idea what that woul...

Luiza · Luiza

My Landlord called me today to give me 6 weeks notice. Apparently he needs to move back in. So this is it. The New Year will be new and fresh indeed. My life is changing so much and so quickly. I guess I have to keep trusting my HP. It is so weird how I am not feeling like I am at home anymore. Being here is gettin...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am admitting I still have magical thinking regarding "fixing" my AH. I am worried about him. I can tell he is sleeping a lot...i know by the way he sounds on the phone. I am STILL thinking I can help him feel better. But I've tried for over 10 years to help him. He has to help himself now. why do I t...

Em D · Em D

Both my A husband and I started recovery about 8 months ago. Things have been so difficult since rehab. I guess I had an expectation that the hardest part was over. Trust has been an issue with me in recovery, and I've tried to be very open minded and honest about it. I know I was told several lies and was dec...

Jerry F · Jerry F

No I didn't know how to do it coming from inside of the disease. I didn't know how and was afraid to try. I was afraid so I didn't learn a lot of normal stuff. I learned how to grieve in the program of the Al-Anon Family Groups as I watched so many others grieve their losses and wonder "why do they do...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I read the obits in my hometown paper. Today, a grade school chum was named together with the day of his death. I thought about the other "boys" in my little grade school who have died before he did. I can remember what a wild and crazy bunch he hung with. I can remember that he could do wild a...

neshema2 · neshema2

I have this friend, hes a lovely young man, diabetic and now hes lost his 2nd leg just below the knee and i have been keeping up w/him....we were good friends when I was in CA...We rode our horses all over the place and would go for ice cream and he , at that long ago time, seemed to be "too attached"...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I realized I must be one of those crazy people who expect other people to reply to me within 24 hours. I know people are busy, I am too. Yet, if I reach out to someone; whether it be family, non program friends, or program friends, I would expect them to at least have the decency to reply. In this world...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

There's a new book out with this title. It's about a celebrity from the 80's who had an alcoholic mother. It's amazing how much I relate to her story and how I acted in the same ways she did with my AH. I'm almost finished with the book. the codependency is so familiar. I feel like I know her personally becau...

Em D · Em D

I've struggled with the HP portion of the program. So I told myself to look for signs/coincidences. I started really paying attention to what song is on the radio when I leave my meeting and how it relates to what I'm feeling. I listen to the rock station which often is about pain, but its been a fun and int...

Helpangel · Helpangel

I need some advice about after your spouse leaves rehab what do u do? Do I let him move back in? Make him live elsewhere? i know we will need help and he is in the process of setting that all up. After 30 days clean how stable are they? Do I get a roommate to share my house and make him stay out at least a year? Any a...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

OK. I ended up having to engage a lawyer as I drew a dead end everywhere else. I randimly selected one and it was through a call center. I got a call back from a man, explained the situation. He calls me back in an hour the situation is resolved. Without leaving the house. I'm taking this as a very serious exp...

Flower49 · Flower49

My AH dropped by for his morning coffee today and tried to disturb my happiness, joy and peace by announcing that he knew last week that family was invited to attend his group home Christmas function this evening, but he decided I wouldn't want to go. I said nothing, he then went on to explain that he was j...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I'm not where I want to be yet, BUT thank God I'm not where I used to be. Just keep working it because it works when you work it.

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've got a yukky cold, which is no surprise as it has been making its way throughout this household. So I woke this morning to find it had really taken hold. Yay! Oh well, lol, whatever. Coughs and sneezes and chills, not the end of the world. Just a temporary irritation. I had 2 phone calls I needed to mak...

hope4ever · hope4ever

There is a lot of drama going on at work and others are trying to pull me into it. They are also talking badly about me to others. It is a triangle apparently. I have 2 people who talk my ear off about the drama and I really need to not get trapped in that. I try and be kind and listen but I end up feeling drained an...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The kids and I went out tonight after my son's Christmas program and had a blast. I haven't laughed that hard for a long, long time. It was just silliness big time. We watched football on a few big screens ate dinner and did a little yelling at the tv .. it was fun to watch my son get into it all. He misses o...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have come such a very long way from where I was when I found al-anon. Next week is finals and while I am close to filing bankruptcy and all that fun stress that comes with it. I am studying for a test this coming Friday, Monday, Wednesday and last exam next Friday! Wow is the stress on and without my al-an...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My daughter and son-in-law invited me over to watch football today. She wanted me to know that her twin sister (also my daughter), who is an A, and whom I haven't had contact with in six months, would also be there. She told me not to ask questions of my AD and to just "go with the flow." And so I di...

serenity47 · serenity47

Hi all I read these messages frequently and find great wisdom in a lot of them and I am thankful for that. I am seeking some ESH with the following thoughts I am struggling with. My AD whom has stolen from us, lied repeatedly, made up all kinds of outlandish stories and I believe stole from other peop...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just have to share the spiritual magic with my MIP family. This morning was the return of a old program celebration which was interrupted by "Nazies" Nazies are book thumpers...black and white only no fluff or it isn't program. This is my other side of my program...I am a double and m...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

OK. Now the police are not adding a provision. In effect this means no contact at all. Yay justice is served all will be well, honour women and children. Except for me in this situation it actually enforces powerlessness. I have managed to save a little bit. I have enrolled in a course which will lead to e...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Hey gang, I been busy lately but things going pretty well for the RAH and me and the kids. til yesterday................ RAH had to have hernia surgery and of course pain meds because it was a pretty big repair. When he first told me that the doctor was giving him Percocet I was like a bull with a red cape...

mjferg · mjferg

I took a big risk when I decided to end my relationship with my A,I wasn't ready financially but I believed if I had stayed it wouldn't matter anyway,I would be in such bad shape emotionally I don't know if I could have endured much longer.My son came over the other day and offered help with my Christmas...

Holly09 · Holly09

My ABF stopped drinking 4 years ago but his behaviors which have continued to be there seem to be getting much worse mostly with me. For many years before he quit I had boundaries with the way he speaks to me which was usually only when he had been drinking. Now he seems to be speaking to me that way quiet o...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

This has been one of those weeks that just needs to end. It keeps getting worse each day. . The tension in our home is beyond suffocating. We all walk on eggshells trying to avoid upsetting the ah yet hes still upset. Nothing we do or say is "right". Never do we just move on. Little things get thr...

missmeliss · missmeliss

People here often make mention of the fact that when you start to have boundaries and defend them, people push back, and hard. And change tactics... Well I did expect this and I have figured the only way to really grow and continue on a road to serenity is to limit my contact with people that are used to pus...

deacon · deacon

Yesterday my sister asked her alcoholic husband to leave because he is taking rent and grocery money for alcohol. She works, he sits and watches tv all day. He responded that he does not drink any more than any one else. I witnessed him when he went one day without drinking so he could 'fool' the doctor he...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I am an adult child of an alcoholic father father dad drunk alcoholic threat violent abuse gun DUI overwhelmed pity party memories (Preview) I'm not sure, as I sit here, what exactly I am hoping to gain by typing this out. I don't know that anyone can advise me on an effective solution or soothe me with words of wisdom. My earliest memories as a child are of my father or about my father and his being drunk, violent, out of control, or all of the abov...	Inundated	25	10687	Dec 21, 2014 by FriendOfBillysWife
	Hi 😊. I'm new & housebound (separated) wife of man in denial (Preview) not sure how this works, so I'm trying My friend told me about you as I'm struggling at the moment. I have ME & pretty much housebound so unable to go to meetings. My husband is an alcoholic but is still in denial. Currently he drinks 3 bottles of wine & a bottle of vodka a night, tho tells me he st...	Lucers73	20	903	Dec 21, 2014 by YARNCRAZY
	Good news at last! (Preview) It was time to take daughter to her dads yesterday, and once again I arranged with A to come and drive with me as I thought (erroneously) that I was not ready to do the big drive by myself and needed help. No, I didn't particularly want to see him if that's how it sounds, I just still feel very fearful of dri...	missmeliss	5	620	Dec 21, 2014 by hotrod
	The divorce... (Preview) Well, yesterday we signed a settlement agreement and I will be able to file divorce papers later this week (uncontested divorce--I did ALL the paperwork myself). I am feeling so many mixed emotions--it is not easy to describe. The hardest part of this has been feeling the AH's anger towards me. I fee...	sookie	15	932	Dec 21, 2014 by pinkchip
	New to Alanon... (Preview) I'm busy and can't really go out to meetings, but I feel like having community support will help me get through the holidays. The holidays are always hard. I feel so helpless and was hoping that by reaching out here, I might be able to convert these feelings into something else or at least shift my perspe...	MaxGleam	4	549	Dec 21, 2014 by Jerry F
	still angry and moving forward (Preview) I have read what has been shared on my last topic and it makes so much sense. I have been doing the 4th step al-anon inventory and this morning I wrote 17 pages in my journal. I see my pattern of being with alcoholic men and what its doing to me. I am the one that falls apart and needs help, yet the Alcoholic jus...	joker	5	719	Dec 20, 2014 by neshema2
	New to Board and Alanon (Preview) Hi I am Marva. I am new to the board and have a passing familiarity with Alanon. I've referred many to it. I live in a rural area with no meetings and I need help. I am involved with a man who is sober 30+ years with no program and no peaceful sobriety. He might as well still be drunk the way I react to him. I reall...	Sapphronia	4	501	Dec 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	On the subject of beauty (Preview) Dorothy Day has been quoted as saying she believed that beauty will save us. I don't know if that is true or not. I do know that today I went to a Christmas tea with women in my aqua yoga class and other women who are in a morning water exercise class with the yoga and exercise instructor. The table was lad...	grateful2be	23	1026	Dec 20, 2014 by Debb
	New guy here... (Preview) I would just like to introduce myself. My name is Nick, I am 27 years old. I am the son of a functioning alchoholic, and the mother of my children is an alchoholic as well. I have just recently found out about Al-Anon, and I plan on attending my first meeting tomorrow night. I think this can really be a usefu...	NEP	20	995	Dec 20, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Technical question (Preview) Is anybody else noticing two white boxes at the top of this screen advertising ways to manage our advertising and forums for our website? Irritating.	grateful2be	20	635	Dec 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm a Monk . . . (Preview) I went to see my spiritual counselor yesterday and she told me to think of myself as a Monk, at the moment - basically to take care of myself and do my inner work. I really like this image and it is already helping me. I have been "praying without ceasing" when worry shows up and when I wake up in th...	ohno	6	715	Dec 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	gratitude (Preview) Im a grateful member of alanon, real life and virtual. I joined this family, here on line 2 years ago this week. Ive learned a lot, feel like ive made friends, probably annoyed some folks sometimes but hey thats none of my business thankfully. Lol. Feel like ive grown. Im almost 3 yrs old, im growing up fa...	el-cee	17	698	Dec 20, 2014 by Debb
	I'm amazed, little changes make big differences! (Preview) Hi Everyone, While I am sure I could go into a rant about a few things going on in my life, I have to refrain simply because I set the stage for much of it to unfold. Surrender and Acceptance has been my strong hold this past few months. Okay, The good stuff first. I finally quite smoking!! No patches, e-...	John	11	652	Dec 20, 2014 by milkwood
	Unresolved grief (Preview) Today is not going well emotionally for me. I am asking for online hugs. I find myself mourning the end of my first marriage. when my first husband left me for another woman, I surely thought I would die. Along came AH to the rescue 7 months later! Obviously, I was on the rebound and this marriage didn't wo...	Newlife girl	16	799	Dec 20, 2014 by kismetstrand
	My boyfriends ex-wife finally got her way! (Preview) I have my last final tomorrow so I am staying at his house, because he is 45 minutes closer to school and his house is quiet. I do it about once a month and it's usually peaceful and nice. Tonight his ex-wife that has wanted to meet me the last 9 months did a drop in with their 11 year old and it was awkward and le...	Breakingfree	16	818	Dec 19, 2014 by grateful2be
	What Do You Feel Your Higher Power Has Done For You? (Preview) Just wondering about your experiences with your HP helping you. What specifically has your HP done for you? I believe in God, angels, saints, guides, you-name-it . . . and I feel I have been healed of some traumas, comforted in bad times, etc., but when I pray for my grandson and when he prays for himself...	ohno	22	685	Dec 19, 2014 by cloudyskies
	'Constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves'....What does it mean? (Preview) A question for the double winners. My husband has been in AA for almost 12 months. I've been in Al-Anon for 10 months. Exactly what does 'constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves' mean? Does it apply to Al-Anon? I overhead a conversation between my husband and what I took to be a...	ymvv2000	14	6140	Dec 19, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	Can you spot an A? (Preview) My sponsor says she can spot an A but I don't think I have the ability to do this unless I see them drinking! It makes me wonder about my doctor, dentist, and lawyer people who I trust their wisdom and advice? Maybe I need to be more discernment.. What wouldI look for? Heck the only time I know for sure is...	hopes314	16	934	Dec 19, 2014 by Luiza
	here we go again . . . introduction . . . (Preview) hello all: i find myself here after 15 years of active alanon. raised my kids. one of them is now alcoholic and acting out. i only know the tip of the iceberg, thankfully. she is raising my teen grandson. i worry for him. the entire family is affected (of course). she has rage and entitlement issues, narc...	ohno	22	1938	Dec 19, 2014 by ohno
	Happiness is being a Nana (Preview) Tonight, I went to my grandson's high school holiday concert. I listened to the strings, 3 choirs and then his symphonic band. I watched my 15 year old, sophomore grandson file in with his classmates, sporting the new tie he'd talked his Mom into buying. I saw him find his seat with his baritone be...	grateful2be	16	735	Dec 19, 2014 by PP
	grief (Preview) Hate crying. Just hate it. Was told years ago that grief is sometimes mourning for the loss of an ideal. Its really very late here but I can't sleep yet. I'll pay for that tomorrow. All alone in a big city the week before xmas its my babies first Christmas our first with three kids. And were going to be alone...	aquamom23	21	812	Dec 19, 2014 by Em D
	amazing day! (Preview) I spent the day with my youngest son,we delivered gifts to the nursing home,both of my parents are there.My father was an alcoholic and a very angry man,we have never been close.I sat by my mother's bed and watched her,she has dementia,I always cry when I see her.My father came over to me and hugged me ti...	mjferg	7	460	Dec 19, 2014 by Em D
	Step 10 Step Board (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59246554/alanon-step-10-12-2014/	hotrod	1	2623	Dec 19, 2014 by grateful2be
	A Little Re-Introduction (Preview) I posted here five year's ago about my alcoholic daughter. I was able to let go of her and her alcoholism for the most part, but in the meantime, my grandson, now age 21 is in dire straights. We found out he was alcoholic when he was 18, sent him to rehab - since then he has been in an SLE, in jail, "okay&q...	ohno	19	570	Dec 19, 2014 by ohno
	AH OUT OF HOSPITAL/HOME FOR HOLIDAYS (Preview) 2wks ago,ah went on drinking binge for 4 days. he skipped work and then threw up so much that he had to be hospitalized for dehydration,hbp and vitamin depletion. he really suffered physically with stomach pains,weakness and tremors. again he made that useless promise that it was so bad,he was goin...	YARNCRAZY	3	581	Dec 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	made changes (Preview) I have been with alcoholic for 7 months, he works in camp for 2 weeks at time and home for a week. I have my own apartment with daughter. The past 7 months has been very unstable due to A binge drinkings during the week he is off work. He even drinks in camp, and has gone through numerous jobs. When he is at home...	joker	5	672	Dec 18, 2014 by aquamom23
	Photo Time!!!! (Preview)	missmeliss	24	887	Dec 18, 2014 by Luiza
	Family of Origin Issues ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Recovery really is a balancing act. Once I get something unhealthy out of my life, I have to watch out for new unhealthy behaviors and character defects arising. Okay, so I stopped drinking and ended a really toxic relationship with another A. For a long time I engaged in these self destructive beh...	pinkchip	58	2074	Dec 18, 2014 by el-cee
	freedom (Preview) Well we woke up late today at 7 am and I was feeling quite nervous. I didn't rush through the morning. Went to court, my file wasn't there. But I discovered something interesting about myself. When it came down to advocating for myself and children an intellectual side came out utterly divorced of fear...	aquamom23	12	673	Dec 18, 2014 by el-cee
	missing the alcoholic (Preview) I'm having some issues with my apartment, which has put me in a hotel b/c it is not safe to sleep there right now. I have stayed in 2 diff. hotels, whatever has been cheapest, and on a friends sofa one night. I am feeling beat by life. And this, is making me miss my Aexbf. Plus it is the holidays, and I am forced...	giraffe13	6	837	Dec 18, 2014 by pinkchip
	Something to smile about (Preview) Daughter's graduation ceremony is tomorrow night. A while ago I promised her the works, a new dress, shoes etc but of course that was no longer possible and I was worried she would feel yukky next to her dressed up friends. But we've been scouring the op-shops, tonight we finally found great shoes, bel...	missmeliss	22	915	Dec 18, 2014 by Luiza
	My body is tired.. (Preview) I stayed home from work today. My body is tired and needs sleep. On Monday, I phoned the police. My ex-A must be testing my boundaries and decided he could drop off some stuff at my house. A present for his son that he had the day before at his visit and did not give him. I kind of knew by his inflated ego respon...	Truth	4	394	Dec 18, 2014 by PP
	maybe surrender? (Preview) Well I am battling with life again,that's me, ever ready for a crisis,I got very angry and upset about some things and had a panic attack.I saw my therapist today and she asked me if I have ever lived a crisis free life, or feeling like one was just around the corner, and I said I have no idea what that woul...	mjferg	3	562	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Packing will keep me busy over the holidays. (Preview) My Landlord called me today to give me 6 weeks notice. Apparently he needs to move back in. So this is it. The New Year will be new and fresh indeed. My life is changing so much and so quickly. I guess I have to keep trusting my HP. It is so weird how I am not feeling like I am at home anymore. Being here is gettin...	Luiza	19	706	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	My magical thinking=anxiety (Preview) I am admitting I still have magical thinking regarding "fixing" my AH. I am worried about him. I can tell he is sleeping a lot...i know by the way he sounds on the phone. I am STILL thinking I can help him feel better. But I've tried for over 10 years to help him. He has to help himself now. why do I t...	Newlife girl	20	947	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Trust shattered (Preview) Both my A husband and I started recovery about 8 months ago. Things have been so difficult since rehab. I guess I had an expectation that the hardest part was over. Trust has been an issue with me in recovery, and I've tried to be very open minded and honest about it. I know I was told several lies and was dec...	Em D	21	840	Dec 17, 2014 by Em D
	Grieving alcohol not mentioned. (Preview) No I didn't know how to do it coming from inside of the disease. I didn't know how and was afraid to try. I was afraid so I didn't learn a lot of normal stuff. I learned how to grieve in the program of the Al-Anon Family Groups as I watched so many others grieve their losses and wonder "why do they do...	Jerry F	3	537	Dec 16, 2014 by hotrod
	Who knew? (Preview) I read the obits in my hometown paper. Today, a grade school chum was named together with the day of his death. I thought about the other "boys" in my little grade school who have died before he did. I can remember what a wild and crazy bunch he hung with. I can remember that he could do wild a...	grateful2be	14	704	Dec 16, 2014 by neshema2
	got hit w/a bomshell, still SMH!!!! (Preview) I have this friend, hes a lovely young man, diabetic and now hes lost his 2nd leg just below the knee and i have been keeping up w/him....we were good friends when I was in CA...We rode our horses all over the place and would go for ice cream and he , at that long ago time, seemed to be "too attached"...	neshema2	17	823	Dec 16, 2014 by neshema2
	Open conversation about expectations in friendships (Preview) So, I realized I must be one of those crazy people who expect other people to reply to me within 24 hours. I know people are busy, I am too. Yet, if I reach out to someone; whether it be family, non program friends, or program friends, I would expect them to at least have the decency to reply. In this world...	andromeda	16	692	Dec 16, 2014 by Newlife girl
	There Was A Little Girl (Preview) There's a new book out with this title. It's about a celebrity from the 80's who had an alcoholic mother. It's amazing how much I relate to her story and how I acted in the same ways she did with my AH. I'm almost finished with the book. the codependency is so familiar. I feel like I know her personally becau...	Newlife girl	1	351	Dec 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	A Little Game I Play (Preview) I've struggled with the HP portion of the program. So I told myself to look for signs/coincidences. I started really paying attention to what song is on the radio when I leave my meeting and how it relates to what I'm feeling. I listen to the rock station which often is about pain, but its been a fun and int...	Em D	1	552	Dec 16, 2014 by PP
	After rehab.. Then what?? (Preview) I need some advice about after your spouse leaves rehab what do u do? Do I let him move back in? Make him live elsewhere? i know we will need help and he is in the process of setting that all up. After 30 days clean how stable are they? Do I get a roommate to share my house and make him stay out at least a year? Any a...	Helpangel	6	1112	Dec 16, 2014 by Em D
	feeling relieved (Preview) OK. I ended up having to engage a lawyer as I drew a dead end everywhere else. I randimly selected one and it was through a call center. I got a call back from a man, explained the situation. He calls me back in an hour the situation is resolved. Without leaving the house. I'm taking this as a very serious exp...	aquamom23	16	612	Dec 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	Christmas Party....deceit and manipulation (Preview) My AH dropped by for his morning coffee today and tried to disturb my happiness, joy and peace by announcing that he knew last week that family was invited to attend his group home Christmas function this evening, but he decided I wouldn't want to go. I said nothing, he then went on to explain that he was j...	Flower49	20	919	Dec 15, 2014 by giraffe13
	Ok... (Preview) I'm not where I want to be yet, BUT thank God I'm not where I used to be. Just keep working it because it works when you work it.	cloudyskies	6	594	Dec 15, 2014 by hotrod
	Gotta laugh. (Preview) I've got a yukky cold, which is no surprise as it has been making its way throughout this household. So I woke this morning to find it had really taken hold. Yay! Oh well, lol, whatever. Coughs and sneezes and chills, not the end of the world. Just a temporary irritation. I had 2 phone calls I needed to mak...	missmeliss	6	528	Dec 15, 2014 by bud
	Work drama? How to handle it? (Preview) There is a lot of drama going on at work and others are trying to pull me into it. They are also talking badly about me to others. It is a triangle apparently. I have 2 people who talk my ear off about the drama and I really need to not get trapped in that. I try and be kind and listen but I end up feeling drained an...	hope4ever	9	707	Dec 15, 2014 by bud
	Fun night :) (Preview) The kids and I went out tonight after my son's Christmas program and had a blast. I haven't laughed that hard for a long, long time. It was just silliness big time. We watched football on a few big screens ate dinner and did a little yelling at the tv .. it was fun to watch my son get into it all. He misses o...	SerenityRUS	6	903	Dec 15, 2014 by Luiza
	Overwhelmed~ Thank God for Al-anon! (Preview) I have come such a very long way from where I was when I found al-anon. Next week is finals and while I am close to filing bankruptcy and all that fun stress that comes with it. I am studying for a test this coming Friday, Monday, Wednesday and last exam next Friday! Wow is the stress on and without my al-an...	Breakingfree	12	970	Dec 15, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Hung out with my AD- it's been six months (Preview) My daughter and son-in-law invited me over to watch football today. She wanted me to know that her twin sister (also my daughter), who is an A, and whom I haven't had contact with in six months, would also be there. She told me not to ask questions of my AD and to just "go with the flow." And so I di...	Green Eyes	6	719	Dec 15, 2014 by el-cee
	Detachment or Avoidance (Preview) Hi all I read these messages frequently and find great wisdom in a lot of them and I am thankful for that. I am seeking some ESH with the following thoughts I am struggling with. My AD whom has stolen from us, lied repeatedly, made up all kinds of outlandish stories and I believe stole from other peop...	serenity47	15	1071	Dec 15, 2014 by el-cee
	No Doubt...not ever. (Preview) Just have to share the spiritual magic with my MIP family. This morning was the return of a old program celebration which was interrupted by "Nazies" Nazies are book thumpers...black and white only no fluff or it isn't program. This is my other side of my program...I am a double and m...	Jerry F	9	914	Dec 15, 2014 by Jill
	feeling strung out. (Preview) OK. Now the police are not adding a provision. In effect this means no contact at all. Yay justice is served all will be well, honour women and children. Except for me in this situation it actually enforces powerlessness. I have managed to save a little bit. I have enrolled in a course which will lead to e...	aquamom23	10	764	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	was this a bad plan? (Preview) Hey gang, I been busy lately but things going pretty well for the RAH and me and the kids. til yesterday................ RAH had to have hernia surgery and of course pain meds because it was a pretty big repair. When he first told me that the doctor was giving him Percocet I was like a bull with a red cape...	jillybean1	7	754	Dec 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	God finds a way (Preview) I took a big risk when I decided to end my relationship with my A,I wasn't ready financially but I believed if I had stayed it wouldn't matter anyway,I would be in such bad shape emotionally I don't know if I could have endured much longer.My son came over the other day and offered help with my Christmas...	mjferg	10	707	Dec 14, 2014 by glad
	When the alcohol is gone but the behaviors are still there (Preview) My ABF stopped drinking 4 years ago but his behaviors which have continued to be there seem to be getting much worse mostly with me. For many years before he quit I had boundaries with the way he speaks to me which was usually only when he had been drinking. Now he seems to be speaking to me that way quiet o...	Holly09	8	779	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	bad marriage, alcoholic marriage or all of the above (Preview) This has been one of those weeks that just needs to end. It keeps getting worse each day. . The tension in our home is beyond suffocating. We all walk on eggshells trying to avoid upsetting the ah yet hes still upset. Nothing we do or say is "right". Never do we just move on. Little things get thr...	Theoceancalls	3	586	Dec 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	maybe I won without meaning to. Should I feel guilty? (Preview) People here often make mention of the fact that when you start to have boundaries and defend them, people push back, and hard. And change tactics... Well I did expect this and I have figured the only way to really grow and continue on a road to serenity is to limit my contact with people that are used to pus...	missmeliss	17	974	Dec 14, 2014 by hotrod
	I think I must be a misfit in this world (Preview) Yesterday my sister asked her alcoholic husband to leave because he is taking rent and grocery money for alcohol. She works, he sits and watches tv all day. He responded that he does not drink any more than any one else. I witnessed him when he went one day without drinking so he could 'fool' the doctor he...	deacon	11	922	Dec 14, 2014 by Newlife girl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.