Another ruined week-end - Al-Anon Family Group

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

RE: Another ruined week-end

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

We are here for you, Debb. You are not alone...we KNOW where you are. I am so glad you took the steps to contact al anon. Keep going and keep coming back here. If I could hug you in person, I would...for now HUGS smile

Newlife girl · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Debb. My AH also resented my daughters who are from my first marriage. He currently blames one of them for "being instrumental in the breakup of our marriage." It makes me sick. One of the main reasons why i left is to keep my kids safe, emotionally and physically. He always complained about us going to my relatives homes for holidays. His family never planned anything. So i experienced him being against my kids and family. That is a form of psychological abuse. Blended families are really hard even without alcoholism. Focus on you and your daughter as being the priority in your life

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

And...remember the 3cs if guilt, self-flagellation, self-doubt come to plague you. Nothing he says or does is personal. Its the disease - something he is powerless over, too, and can get help for if and when he chooses. Until then, you will have the help and hope the program promises if you follow through and stay with it. (((Debb)))

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

First meeting is next Wednesday at 7:30pm and am making sure my calendar is clean.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

We have on-line meetings here twice a day, too, Debb. The times appear at the top of our board in yellow. There is one tonight. They are a great supplement for those between face to face meeting times.

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

Things have calmed down considerably, but my eyes are wide open. I am not taking the same path that I have been on these past eight years. Will be making those changes that need to be made and getting the support and education so that AH never verbally abuses me or holds my security hostage to his threats again. Those days of fear and sadness are numbered and are ready to be left behind me as lessons in life. You all did me a great service and I love each and everyone of you for all your help. XOXOXO

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

xoxo back atcha smile

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm happy for you even though I know you face challenges ahead like all of us. I think alanon will benefit from having you there just as much as you will benefit from it. The way you listened, took feedback, and then went into action was awesome here....Keep that up in Alanon in general and it will pay off!

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

So good to see some fighting spirit debb. Meetings were the turning point for me. It seems to me your ready and him knowing or not is not gojng to stop you. You might find he knows and feels change is needed too. Your at the beginning of a journey and for me and my family, everything changed, healthyness creeped in to the corners and good behaviour is becomjng the norm for me and my home. Let us know how your meeting goes. You will be welcomed with open arms.x

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

I could not help but benefit from all your wisdom and experience and thank God that you were all there for me. Wishing you and your families happy holidays and will definitely be back to share.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Debb many hospitals etc will dissolve a debt too much for someone to afford. Ask for financial aid. I don't know your state. find out if there is a YOUR state health plan. Won't you get medicare soon, or?

You are not safe there, I don't care if he calms down or not.

You are right, having things ready at a neighbors or where ever out from the house is essential. Cat carriers ready too.

keys money, emergency numbers meds, etc.

I am seious, I would take out half of the savings and put it in your name only. I have seen soooo many on here lose everything.

Prepare. Look into housing you can afford with daughter, pretend you are moving out and see what things you would nee to do so it is not all such an unknown.

Lock on your bedroom door. I never would even say a peep to a raging A. Can you make an exit from your bedroom? I had a door put in. HIde car keys. that got me away once.

I would start taking pictures and whatever else you love and finding a friend to store things for you. MIne broke my great gramas stuff of mine. )c:

If a flood were coming what would you save?

A human is not in control when they are like that. And it will happen again.

Call the dept of human services. when my daughter went thru this, they moved her to another city and paid for all of it, even a new home.

If you go to school that also opens many opportunities. Lots of scholarships for people like you.

Please keep us updated!! As far as your meds. contact the makers, many of them will send free ones to your doc for you!!!

hugs honey, pm me anytime

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

I had every intention of making my first Al-Anon face to face meeting tonight, but I broke my big toe yesterday on icy stairs and it is snowing this evening and the trek up the driveway to the Church meeting hall is a very steep one. AH knows I am joining and going to participate in Al-Anon and I am not letting my guard down. Thank you for all your help and advice! XOXOXO

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Oh, no! I'm sorry you broke your big toe AND glad it wasn't a hip or a femur or a knee! We do have an on-line meeting tonight at 9 that could be a good supplement for you until you can get to a face to face meeting?

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you Grateful2be!! I usually konk out by 8:30pm, but will try to stay up!!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

FEEL BETTER DEBB

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you!! Toe looks like a purple sausage link! :)

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Prayers for speedy healing!

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Debb wrote:
First meeting is next Wednesday at 7:30pm and am making sure my calendar is clean.

GOOD GIRL!!!! also we got online ones here...been to a great many of them and they are very very helpful....in support

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.