Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

gardengal · gardengal

It is the time of year, where most people are under stress and obligation to get things done before the holidays, but toss your emotions while dealing with active alcoholism, and all of it can become totally overwhelming for us. Each of us who come to this site have been devastaed by someone else...

kissers · kissers

Sometimes I hear this and I feel very angry. My father was a violent alcoholic. He had a very sadistic side to him. He would think it was funny when he would grab my legs and hold me under water then let me come up gasping and crying. What was my part in this? Not a damn thing. He was cruel and still is. I know he i...

Gailey · Gailey

I have posted before about my younger son (age 30) having a drinking problem. I don't want to label him as an A but I would say it is a problem. He is one that will drink on a Friday night and want to continue on when he wakes up on Saturday. By Sunday and probably thru at least Tuesday he feels like crap and...

Summer · Summer

My mother has been an alcholic... forever.. yet it only started 3 years ago when she began again now she is so far down she will clean up for 2 weeks.. then binge... drinking 20 in a night.. passing out.. but not until she become so mean... last night when i was out there she threatened to kill hers...

marty · marty

Hi all i am a alcoholic i been sober almost 17 years on 26 of this month i am riding a women to AA meeting,and i feel all she want is thing i dont know how to stop riding her how do you do it when you dont want to hurt there feeling,well i hope some one here has a ideal how to do this and i got two weeks here...

Tammy · Tammy

I havent posted in awhile I have been reading a lot of posts but for some reason haven't posted. Now, I really need some guidance, support and just to write down my thoughts... I kicked my husband out in September. He was drinking a lot and going out until all hours of the night with his buddies. I...

hersh · hersh

(((My friends))) I had an AHA moment that made me feel better today, and wanted to share with you all. My AH has been sober for a little over 30 days now, and it is better. He is feeling better, going to meetings, and really trying. It is hard to get my hopes up, but I am being wary.&nbs...

Maria123 · Maria123

These are just my feelings and "feelings aren't facts" My Alanon Alter Ego is talking to Maria But I guess today is the day that I feel like I'm in "it" alone. What is it? Well do you ever feel like it's always you making the phone calls to say hello? Do you ever feel like it's only you who remembers s...

laurab · laurab

My A son in Florida keeps calling, crying and begging me to front a ticket home for him. I have stood firm and said when I sell his car, which is advertised, I will get him a ticket, not before. He cries and says i have picked the wrong time to take a stand. He makes me angry, sad, hopeless, una...

rtexas · rtexas

Dear Rita, I am just mortified that it has taken over a year to get your home back together. Are they coming this week to get it going? You are such a good Mom and an inspiration here. My hope is they come through so you can enjoy your Christmas holidays in your new home. My prayers a...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Hope everyone is doing well. I haven't been able to post much. This is a very busy time of year for me at work so I have been replying a little when I have a chance and reading when I get a spare moment. I seem to be in kind of an emotional "never-never land". Its a pl...

kiwigrl · kiwigrl

I read a few topics on the message board before I decided to join. I went to my first Ala-non metting 2 nights ago. I have reached my bottom, for a year now I have been frustrated by the actions of my alcaholic but now I am ashamed of my own actions. I found myself sinking to his level and playing his games. I do...

jaja · jaja

.....seems like it sometimes. On the one hand, I was relieved when I first began to learn about alcoholism and it's effect on everyone involved. I was forever saying "Okay, I see now!" "Ah Ha! That explains it!" and stuff along those lines. Burdens were lifted. Then I go back into a slump like tod...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Every weekend my husband would be a DRAG, he wouldn't want to get up when I wanted him to, he wouldn't want to go do anything with the family he was ALWAYS "resting". He was grumpy and mean and nasty to everyone on his time off and I was always resentful that he wouldn't get up and be part of the family....

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but still read on here alot... it still helps to know there are others here living the same kind of life and wishing it was better. LOL Well, hubby is gone again...like thats a big surprise, but what does s...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, I have been doing alot of reading on here and alot of thinking and am wondering if an A can just not see what they are giving up..or do they just really not care?Time and time again on here I read that alls a non A wants is for their A to love them as much as they love thei...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((John)))))), Has there been a decision made about sending the holidays cards to the recovery house yet? Or is that part of the next business meeting this month! I'm still game for sending them out if anyone else is. Fingers crossed we'll be able to do it again, it was such fun! Ga...

chris52 · chris52

Hello again (((((((((((((((((wonderful people)))))))))))))))) Am so sorry it's been so long since I last posted. No puter and lousy internet access means I still get to read some posts but not a lot of time left to respond(Connection is very slow) even less to actually post. I did try a few times and t...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((Rommies))))))))))))))))) Well I have been In Op Status for a few days now. I would just like to say,a Big THANK YOU,to you all. For welcoming me, and being patient with me. I chaired my first meeting and I was nervous, but also excited. I am talking the OP status as an honour, and I...

HereIam · HereIam

Surely lots and lots of alcoholic women keep right on drinking, pregnant or not. I know I was.

Lanchas · Lanchas

hey all. i can't remember if i told you but i'm back at school so it means im a little less available but if anyone needs me or needs to talk or vent or anything im here. Lanchas

Anonfornow · Anonfornow

I'll try to be very brief, I'm a 62 yr old woman, daughter of an alcoholic Father now deceased, sister to an alcoholic sister and brother. They both stopped drinking for several years but are both drinking again. My sister especially is a hard case, she drinks straight from the bot...

afmom03 · afmom03

Ok....everyone...(oh, by the way hello!!!)<LOL> I've been dying to get on this computer to tell ya's that the "stuff hit the fan" last night (understatement of course)!! hee hee...And you will have to be as proud of me as I am...not trying to b conceited here either, ok? My AH had got to the poin h...

afmom03 · afmom03

laurab · laurab

I am slowly feeling weaker and dropping down into despair. My A son started his new life in Florida just 13 days ago. 2 days ago he called to say he wanted to come home. I offered nothing. Today he called after a 2 day binge, sick and shaking and kind of crying saying it's toxic there and he must come ho...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Hi All--So, in my head again, really bad place to be, don't need any of you to tell me that, know that one by heart. Yesterday, got the tuition bill from the university, and my first reaction was yeah, okay, whatever. All the paper work is in order. And then it occured to me: Oh, fantastic. I have to g...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family)))))))), Another storm is working its way across the country. I'm in NY and we are predicting high winds (up to 50 mph) and up tp 2" of rain this afternoon. Right now it is 65 degrees and some dandelions have sprouted! Schools have dismissed early because of the c...

debilyn · debilyn

I reread my post guys. I meant I would go back and do the same thing, marry him and go thru it all!!! NOOOOOO I will NEVER be with this stranger, never. He is NOT who I married. I read that and wanted to barf!!

laurab · laurab

Today he called from Florida to say his separated from wife was arrested Wednesday night when the police raided her on and off boyfriend's house with warrent because they suspected he deals coccaine. They found 200 bags of heroin and other stuff. She was charged with a 5th degree felony and bailed out...

maresie2 · maresie2

I used to try to set limits with the A by screaming, going on and on about things and talking endlessly about what I would not do. Then I would inevitably renege and do it anyways. I would be rewarded for 10 minutes by his affection and appreciation then he would be right back to normal. T...

twinkie · twinkie

I'm having a hard time discerning this on. In healthy relationships, we have disagreements with others. We get hurt by what someone says or an action they may take. We may have a conflict. It is our responsibility to tell that person how we feel, isn't it? If the relat...

Mom2EB · Mom2EB

Lately I've been feeling a lot of resentment and anger towards my A. Last weekend I reluctantly agreed to go to a visit with her for the good of my child. However, I could not look my A in the eye and just felt mad the whole time I was there. She asked if we could hug and I tried to be polite and said "no thank you"...

debilyn · debilyn

My daughter read me this and it was an omg moment. This is so profound to me, so true. I almost have all of A's stuff gone. My son came over and scoped out the tools.... I knew tha that was that... haha but that way he did not freak too much when I asked him and his friend to get my hay and grain to the barn! smile...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Today I ended up calling the police on my ex. And it wasn't even to do with drinking. Though it may be related. Since the most recent 'lapse' I have started to take more of a stand against my ex partner (and A) and put more boundaries in place. I said to him I'm not going to tel...

Christy · Christy

(((friends))) Over the years in chat I've mentioned my "fatgirl" and shared pictures with my friends of my old sweet dog. Sadly, I had to put her down today. She was my constant companion through the years when my A lived on a bar stool. I'm not looking for pity by posting, but more to acknowledge h...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I work 4 days a week and every day that I am at work my kids are home alone for about 2 1/2 hours destroying my house. Every night when I get home I am yelling at them because I am so angry that my house is dirty and sometimes when they try to clean it's still never enough. I spend EVERY weekend clea...

Rita G · Rita G

Good Afternoon my MIP Family, I have been out of touch for a few days - I've missed all of you. Can you be filled with Joy & Sadness at the same time? I can. I am. They confirmed that Monday 12/4 our new home will finally be delivered. 15 months after Hurricane Rita dam...

BnA2006 · BnA2006

Its just been one of those weeks/ months! I feel as though i'm slowly going insane. I see from these boards that i'm lucky that my A is sober (for now) and in recovery. He's actually doing wonderful! I should be in a state of peace right now, knowing he's okay, and he's working his a$$ off to be well and take c...

gardengal · gardengal

Lately I have been struggling with 'something" ,,,,feeling blagh, feeling desparate, feeling lonely altho my family and friends surround me. I cannot pinpoint what the issue is that I should feel this way! I cannot understand why I have to pretend to be happy when I am with them while feeling out of so...

irish54 · irish54

Hi all, Thank you for those of you who responded to my post earlier. Since then, after much thought and prayer, I have taken my grandaughter to live here with me, hubby and other grandaughter. I don't know how things got so bad between her and her mother (my daughter) but they have.&nb...

hudsond · hudsond

O.k. for the past couple of days we have been posting about frustrations with children and taking anger out on them, and not having clean houses. Well so past couple of nights I have been trying to work one on one with my children in a chore--I tend to expect them to clean or put away whatever I want t...

FairyTales · FairyTales

You know when I first came into the rooms of Alanon a couple of years ago I was one of those that didn't think I had a problem. I didn't think I was the crazy one. My husband was the one who had the problem. In fact, If I were honest with myself, I still could not see how crazy I was until just...

maresie2 · maresie2

This past Wednesday at the online evening meeting the topic was Martyrdom and humility. I found some of the shares life changing. Of course I have been aware that martyrdom was a huge part in my relationship with the A. I also felt set up in it. And I am only beginning to se...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Sometimes our experiences in living around addiction can be helpful to us in places where we don't necessarily expect it..... I am a manager of a large workforce, and we would certainly have our share of addicts, alcoholics, etc., among the group..... One of the employees almost lost h...

jaja · jaja

Well, as recommended by Tiger2006 in my last post, I looked up PAWS which is something I've never heard of before in relation to alcoholism. I must say it was a little unnerving for me. It seems to me that one is a personality thing and the other is a nervous system thing (sorry...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))))))))

Messy · Messy

I have been on this post board for a, I think, a week (or maybe a little longer)... I have had some really bad days and then I have had some okay days... though I think today is a blah day for me. I guess today I just want to reflect on the condition of my life at this moment... I received a wonderful res...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was thinking about this earlier. Thinking about my first marriage to an A and how easily I walked away and didn't look back no guilt, no shame, no bs. Then I developed "loyalty". So my question is do we become this way as a reaction to living in horriffic situations? OR... Do...

arty · arty

Hi guys, Ive been on the MIP chat lately and it has been incredible. its such a calming thing for me. My A has been drinking 7 days outof the past 9 days. he thinks it is ok because he isnt abusive, or falling over or passing out... so of course it is me who has the problem. Ive tried my hardest not to figh...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, I have been looking for websites that have information on how alcohol affect sanity and experiences of delusional states. Signs to look for, progression, triggers ... really any information. I have been looking for the last few days, tried reading them til my eyes started making...

laurab · laurab

Good morning all, My A son took off to Florida 12 days ago to start fresh with sober friends, job prospects etc. I was so happy to have him far away. I really got my life going. Yesterday he called to say he wants to come back to NY, not to live with us, but he thinks his separated from wife, will buy him and...

Gailey · Gailey

I was just wondering if doing something for my A son that basically has a consequence with it is actually an act of enabling. Here it is: A son still does not have a job. Money has become very tight and this is probably the first month he cannot make his bills. He informed me that he was going to take...

carosie · carosie

(((roomies)))) thank you all for your posts. I did feel the love from you all. Decided to start my day over yesterday when the funk had set in. Worked on my gratitude list, accepted that I just felt unsettled. Had a talk with hubby about the problem. Said the Serenity Prayer and realized I needed to a...

maresie2 · maresie2

Today the A was having his usual huge temper tantrums and for once I was not being affected by it which in itself is a miracle. Some person owes him money and it is the end of the world. Life has to be entirely on his terms. I was detaching away there thinking of anything but his ta...

memeself · memeself

Hi everyone... Just a note to let you ppls know that I am still thinking about you. And I haven't fallen off the face of the planet. Even though I haven't been around for awhile, you guys have been in my thoughts and prayers. Hard times have hit and I have been extremely overwhelmed. My Grandpa ha...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Tonight I had to go move the big stuff out of my house that is closing on Thursday. The riding mower, push mower, ladder, etc. My sponsor's husband got volunteered to come help me with his trailer. First off the A was supposed to be staying at the house and I haven't heard from him since Mon. So it's just me a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

AH came over for Thanksgiving and was the kind wonderful guy he can be when he really wants something. Sad to say it like that but I think I have been down this road enough times that I am starting to see that things will be good for a while and then regress back to alcoholic hell. I saw another p...

carosie · carosie

(((roomies))) the last few days have been hard for me for some reason. Not sure what is going on with me. My AH has been sober for over a month now and is in therapy and seeing a therapist, started going to weekly AA meetings. My kids were both here for Thanksgiving. We had a nice time. It was good to see t...

ally · ally

((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))) I read Davids post today and It got me thinking.(oh no lol). I go to f2f meetings three different ones, I got one man in one of the meetings. He Is Awesome, he has taught me so much about myself, about Al-Anon, the steps, my behavior, my reactions, my resentment...

nmike · nmike

(((((hi Alanon Friends))))) I really needed my f2f meeting tonight but it started snowing. I spent some time over Thanksgiving with my AHsober. My mom invited us to her house for turkey dinner. I told her we both didn't have to come because it seems we are making everyone uncomfortable. I called my H...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Time of year to truly embrace "Step One" (Preview) It is the time of year, where most people are under stress and obligation to get things done before the holidays, but toss your emotions while dealing with active alcoholism, and all of it can become totally overwhelming for us. Each of us who come to this site have been devastaed by someone else...	gardengal	2	452	Dec 5, 2006 by Tiger2006
	What is my part in it? (Preview) Sometimes I hear this and I feel very angry. My father was a violent alcoholic. He had a very sadistic side to him. He would think it was funny when he would grab my legs and hold me under water then let me come up gasping and crying. What was my part in this? Not a damn thing. He was cruel and still is. I know he i...	kissers	12	524	Dec 5, 2006 by HereIam
	A little ahead of the game this time. (Preview) I have posted before about my younger son (age 30) having a drinking problem. I don't want to label him as an A but I would say it is a problem. He is one that will drink on a Friday night and want to continue on when he wakes up on Saturday. By Sunday and probably thru at least Tuesday he feels like crap and...	Gailey	1	415	Dec 5, 2006 by Rita G
	Love in pain (Preview) My mother has been an alcholic... forever.. yet it only started 3 years ago when she began again now she is so far down she will clean up for 2 weeks.. then binge... drinking 20 in a night.. passing out.. but not until she become so mean... last night when i was out there she threatened to kill hers...	Summer	4	361	Dec 5, 2006 by Rita G
	how can i (Preview) Hi all i am a alcoholic i been sober almost 17 years on 26 of this month i am riding a women to AA meeting,and i feel all she want is thing i dont know how to stop riding her how do you do it when you dont want to hurt there feeling,well i hope some one here has a ideal how to do this and i got two weeks here...	marty	2	368	Dec 5, 2006 by Lunamoth
	I need HELP, please !! (Preview) I havent posted in awhile I have been reading a lot of posts but for some reason haven't posted. Now, I really need some guidance, support and just to write down my thoughts... I kicked my husband out in September. He was drinking a lot and going out until all hours of the night with his buddies. I...	Tammy	8	466	Dec 4, 2006 by whitie
	They are lost...!!! (Preview) (((My friends))) I had an AHA moment that made me feel better today, and wanted to share with you all. My AH has been sober for a little over 30 days now, and it is better. He is feeling better, going to meetings, and really trying. It is hard to get my hopes up, but I am being wary.&nbs...	hersh	9	514	Dec 4, 2006 by lin0606
	do you ever feel you are in "it" alone? (Preview) These are just my feelings and "feelings aren't facts" My Alanon Alter Ego is talking to Maria But I guess today is the day that I feel like I'm in "it" alone. What is it? Well do you ever feel like it's always you making the phone calls to say hello? Do you ever feel like it's only you who remembers s...	Maria123	14	4749	Dec 4, 2006 by lmt123
	1200 miles apart doesn't help one bit (Preview) My A son in Florida keeps calling, crying and begging me to front a ticket home for him. I have stood firm and said when I sell his car, which is advertised, I will get him a ticket, not before. He cries and says i have picked the wrong time to take a stand. He makes me angry, sad, hopeless, una...	laurab	6	436	Dec 4, 2006 by Christy
	Rita.... Did you get a great big package delivered today? (Preview) Dear Rita, I am just mortified that it has taken over a year to get your home back together. Are they coming this week to get it going? You are such a good Mom and an inspiration here. My hope is they come through so you can enjoy your Christmas holidays in your new home. My prayers a...	rtexas	1	302	Dec 4, 2006 by Rita G
	Bittersweet weekend... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Hope everyone is doing well. I haven't been able to post much. This is a very busy time of year for me at work so I have been replying a little when I have a chance and reading when I get a spare moment. I seem to be in kind of an emotional "never-never land". Its a pl...	rtexas	3	293	Dec 4, 2006 by Rita G
	New to the Forum (Preview) I read a few topics on the message board before I decided to join. I went to my first Ala-non metting 2 nights ago. I have reached my bottom, for a year now I have been frustrated by the actions of my alcaholic but now I am ashamed of my own actions. I found myself sinking to his level and playing his games. I do...	kiwigrl	12	709	Dec 4, 2006 by kiwi sweetie
	ignorance is bliss... (Preview) .....seems like it sometimes. On the one hand, I was relieved when I first began to learn about alcoholism and it's effect on everyone involved. I was forever saying "Okay, I see now!" "Ah Ha! That explains it!" and stuff along those lines. Burdens were lifted. Then I go back into a slump like tod...	jaja	4	368	Dec 4, 2006 by jaja
	I always thought it was me! (Preview) Every weekend my husband would be a DRAG, he wouldn't want to get up when I wanted him to, he wouldn't want to go do anything with the family he was ALWAYS "resting". He was grumpy and mean and nasty to everyone on his time off and I was always resentful that he wouldn't get up and be part of the family....	carolinagirl	1	380	Dec 4, 2006 by rtexas
	Am I crazy or what? (Preview) Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but still read on here alot... it still helps to know there are others here living the same kind of life and wishing it was better. LOL Well, hubby is gone again...like thats a big surprise, but what does s...	acjmom	2	343	Dec 4, 2006 by Maria123
	Just wondering (Preview) Hello All, I have been doing alot of reading on here and alot of thinking and am wondering if an A can just not see what they are giving up..or do they just really not care?Time and time again on here I read that alls a non A wants is for their A to love them as much as they love thei...	acjmom	2	304	Dec 4, 2006 by ShelBell
	Holidays Cards for MIP family (Preview) ((((((((John)))))), Has there been a decision made about sending the holidays cards to the recovery house yet? Or is that part of the next business meeting this month! I'm still game for sending them out if anyone else is. Fingers crossed we'll be able to do it again, it was such fun! Ga...	Karilynn	4	355	Dec 4, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Struggling with the guilt (Preview) Hello again (((((((((((((((((wonderful people)))))))))))))))) Am so sorry it's been so long since I last posted. No puter and lousy internet access means I still get to read some posts but not a lot of time left to respond(Connection is very slow) even less to actually post. I did try a few times and t...	chris52	7	439	Dec 4, 2006 by Karilynn
	THANKS TO EVERYONE (Preview) (((((((((((((((((Rommies))))))))))))))))) Well I have been In Op Status for a few days now. I would just like to say,a Big THANK YOU,to you all. For welcoming me, and being patient with me. I chaired my first meeting and I was nervous, but also excited. I am talking the OP status as an honour, and I...	ally	1	288	Dec 4, 2006 by belle1
	How many here were alcohol exposed pre-natally? (Preview) Surely lots and lots of alcoholic women keep right on drinking, pregnant or not. I know I was.	HereIam	0	286	Dec 3, 2006 by HereIam
	hey (Preview) hey all. i can't remember if i told you but i'm back at school so it means im a little less available but if anyone needs me or needs to talk or vent or anything im here. Lanchas	Lanchas	0	235	Dec 3, 2006 by Lanchas
	How can I help my Sister? (Preview) I'll try to be very brief, I'm a 62 yr old woman, daughter of an alcoholic Father now deceased, sister to an alcoholic sister and brother. They both stopped drinking for several years but are both drinking again. My sister especially is a hard case, she drinks straight from the bot...	Anonfornow	3	438	Dec 3, 2006 by Anonfornow
	HP Opens Another Door!!! (Preview) Ok....everyone...(oh, by the way hello!!!)<LOL> I've been dying to get on this computer to tell ya's that the "stuff hit the fan" last night (understatement of course)!! hee hee...And you will have to be as proud of me as I am...not trying to b conceited here either, ok? My AH had got to the poin h...	afmom03	1	334	Dec 3, 2006 by Christy
	Learning The Hard Way/grrrrrr! (Preview)	afmom03	5	410	Dec 3, 2006 by marmare
	Please help me do right!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I am slowly feeling weaker and dropping down into despair. My A son started his new life in Florida just 13 days ago. 2 days ago he called to say he wanted to come home. I offered nothing. Today he called after a 2 day binge, sick and shaking and kind of crying saying it's toxic there and he must come ho...	laurab	11	548	Dec 3, 2006 by maresie2
	And the spinning begins again.... (Preview) Hi All--So, in my head again, really bad place to be, don't need any of you to tell me that, know that one by heart. Yesterday, got the tuition bill from the university, and my first reaction was yeah, okay, whatever. All the paper work is in order. And then it occured to me: *Oh, fantastic. I have to g...*	Tiger2006	5	447	Dec 3, 2006 by maresie2
	Another storm (Preview) ((((((((Family)))))))), Another storm is working its way across the country. I'm in NY and we are predicting high winds (up to 50 mph) and up tp 2" of rain this afternoon. Right now it is 65 degrees and some dandelions have sprouted! Schools have dismissed early because of the c...	Karilynn	7	346	Dec 2, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	BIG OOPS!! P.S. (Preview) I reread my post guys. I meant I would go back and do the same thing, marry him and go thru it all!!! NOOOOOO I will NEVER be with this stranger, never. He is NOT who I married. I read that and wanted to barf!!	debilyn	2	356	Dec 2, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	next chapter in Joe drinks & Mom stays strong (Preview) Today he called from Florida to say his separated from wife was arrested Wednesday night when the police raided her on and off boyfriend's house with warrent because they suspected he deals coccaine. They found 200 bags of heroin and other stuff. She was charged with a 5th degree felony and bailed out...	laurab	2	477	Dec 2, 2006 by Andrea12
	Different ways of setting limits (Preview) I used to try to set limits with the A by screaming, going on and on about things and talking endlessly about what I would not do. Then I would inevitably renege and do it anyways. I would be rewarded for 10 minutes by his affection and appreciation then he would be right back to normal. T...	maresie2	6	400	Dec 2, 2006 by Andrea12
	When are disagreements healthy and when are they part of the disease? (Preview) I'm having a hard time discerning this on. In healthy relationships, we have disagreements with others. We get hurt by what someone says or an action they may take. We may have a conflict. It is our responsibility to tell that person how we feel, isn't it? If the relat...	twinkie	5	466	Dec 2, 2006 by lin0606
	Resentment (Preview) Lately I've been feeling a lot of resentment and anger towards my A. Last weekend I reluctantly agreed to go to a visit with her for the good of my child. However, I could not look my A in the eye and just felt mad the whole time I was there. She asked if we could hug and I tried to be polite and said "no thank you"...	Mom2EB	5	480	Dec 2, 2006 by Mobirdie
	Great analogy of how the A disease pulls us down. (Preview) My daughter read me this and it was an omg moment. This is so profound to me, so true. I almost have all of A's stuff gone. My son came over and scoped out the tools.... I knew tha that was that... haha but that way he did not freak too much when I asked him and his friend to get my hay and grain to the barn! smile...	debilyn	6	461	Dec 2, 2006 by Busbe
	Pushed to the edge (Preview) Today I ended up calling the police on my ex. And it wasn't even to do with drinking. Though it may be related. Since the most recent 'lapse' I have started to take more of a stand against my ex partner (and A) and put more boundaries in place. I said to him I'm not going to tel...	mama_nz	2	369	Dec 2, 2006 by Mobirdie
	For my friends that knew Gracie (fatgirl) (Preview) (((friends))) Over the years in chat I've mentioned my "fatgirl" and shared pictures with my friends of my old sweet dog. Sadly, I had to put her down today. She was my constant companion through the years when my A lived on a bar stool. I'm not looking for pity by posting, but more to acknowledge h...	Christy	21	621	Dec 2, 2006 by drucilla06
	Taking Frustrations out on Kids...Advice? Experience? (Preview) I work 4 days a week and every day that I am at work my kids are home alone for about 2 1/2 hours destroying my house. Every night when I get home I am yelling at them because I am so angry that my house is dirty and sometimes when they try to clean it's still never enough. I spend EVERY weekend clea...	carolinagirl	25	773	Dec 2, 2006 by mama_nz
	Filled with Joy & Sadness (Preview) Good Afternoon my MIP Family, I have been out of touch for a few days - I've missed all of you. Can you be filled with Joy & Sadness at the same time? I can. I am. They confirmed that Monday 12/4 our new home will finally be delivered. 15 months after Hurricane Rita dam...	Rita G	5	534	Dec 1, 2006 by Tiger2006
	I just need someone to say "I understand... it will be okay" (Preview) Its just been one of those weeks/ months! I feel as though i'm slowly going insane. I see from these boards that i'm lucky that my A is sober (for now) and in recovery. He's actually doing wonderful! I should be in a state of peace right now, knowing he's okay, and he's working his a$$ off to be well and take c...	BnA2006	17	1242	Dec 1, 2006 by Mom2EB
	How does one deal with something when you dont know what that "something" is? (Preview) Lately I have been struggling with 'something" ,,,,feeling blagh, feeling desparate, feeling lonely altho my family and friends surround me. I cannot pinpoint what the issue is that I should feel this way! I cannot understand why I have to pretend to be happy when I am with them while feeling out of so...	gardengal	7	454	Dec 1, 2006 by Jennifer
	14 yr old grandaughter (Preview) Hi all, Thank you for those of you who responded to my post earlier. Since then, after much thought and prayer, I have taken my grandaughter to live here with me, hubby and other grandaughter. I don't know how things got so bad between her and her mother (my daughter) but they have.&nb...	irish54	8	591	Dec 1, 2006 by irish54
	Chores (Preview) O.k. for the past couple of days we have been posting about frustrations with children and taking anger out on them, and not having clean houses. Well so past couple of nights I have been trying to work one on one with my children in a chore--I tend to expect them to clean or put away whatever I want t...	hudsond	7	312	Dec 1, 2006 by lin0606
	My Insanity (Preview) You know when I first came into the rooms of Alanon a couple of years ago I was one of those that didn't think I had a problem. I didn't think I was the crazy one. My husband was the one who had the problem. In fact, If I were honest with myself, I still could not see how crazy I was until just...	FairyTales	5	318	Dec 1, 2006 by nmike
	martyrdom (Preview) This past Wednesday at the online evening meeting the topic was Martyrdom and humility. I found some of the shares life changing. Of course I have been aware that martyrdom was a huge part in my relationship with the A. I also felt set up in it. And I am only beginning to se...	maresie2	1	343	Dec 1, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Interesting work development (Preview) Sometimes our experiences in living around addiction can be helpful to us in places where we don't necessarily expect it..... I am a manager of a large workforce, and we would certainly have our share of addicts, alcoholics, etc., among the group..... One of the employees almost lost h...	canadianguy	3	441	Dec 1, 2006 by maresie2
	Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (Preview) Well, as recommended by Tiger2006 in my last post, I looked up PAWS which is something I've never heard of before in relation to alcoholism. I must say it was a little unnerving for me. It seems to me that one is a personality thing and the other is a nervous system thing (sorry...	jaja	1	434	Dec 1, 2006 by hudsond
	ALLY OP (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))))))))	ally	11	482	Dec 1, 2006 by kiwi sweetie
	Is it okay to be... DONE???? (Preview) I have been on this post board for a, I think, a week (or maybe a little longer)... I have had some really bad days and then I have had some okay days... though I think today is a blah day for me. I guess today I just want to reflect on the condition of my life at this moment... I received a wonderful res...	Messy	3	438	Dec 1, 2006 by roygbiv
	Question Do we become this way as a reaction or do we attract these people because we are this way? (Preview) I was thinking about this earlier. Thinking about my first marriage to an A and how easily I walked away and didn't look back no guilt, no shame, no bs. Then I developed "loyalty". So my question is do we become this way as a reaction to living in horriffic situations? OR... Do...	carolinagirl	11	566	Dec 1, 2006 by roygbiv
	i think im going crazy (Preview) Hi guys, Ive been on the MIP chat lately and it has been incredible. its such a calming thing for me. My A has been drinking 7 days outof the past 9 days. he thinks it is ok because he isnt abusive, or falling over or passing out... so of course it is me who has the problem. Ive tried my hardest not to figh...	arty	22	713	Dec 1, 2006 by roygbiv
	Any suggestions of websites? (Preview) Hello Everyone, I have been looking for websites that have information on how alcohol affect sanity and experiences of delusional states. Signs to look for, progression, triggers ... really any information. I have been looking for the last few days, tried reading them til my eyes started making...	Jennifer	5	446	Nov 30, 2006 by AndiLynn
	I was delusional, now I will be strong. (Preview) Good morning all, My A son took off to Florida 12 days ago to start fresh with sober friends, job prospects etc. I was so happy to have him far away. I really got my life going. Yesterday he called to say he wants to come back to NY, not to live with us, but he thinks his separated from wife, will buy him and...	laurab	8	539	Nov 30, 2006 by omajoy
	Please help----is this enabling? (Preview) I was just wondering if doing something for my A son that basically has a consequence with it is actually an act of enabling. Here it is: A son still does not have a job. Money has become very tight and this is probably the first month he cannot make his bills. He informed me that he was going to take...	Gailey	6	510	Nov 30, 2006 by kabbie
	alanon----the defunker (Preview) (((roomies)))) thank you all for your posts. I did feel the love from you all. Decided to start my day over yesterday when the funk had set in. Worked on my gratitude list, accepted that I just felt unsettled. Had a talk with hubby about the problem. Said the Serenity Prayer and realized I needed to a...	carosie	1	337	Nov 30, 2006 by Gailey
	higher power has other plans for me (Preview) Today the A was having his usual huge temper tantrums and for once I was not being affected by it which in itself is a miracle. Some person owes him money and it is the end of the world. Life has to be entirely on his terms. I was detaching away there thinking of anything but his ta...	maresie2	5	541	Nov 30, 2006 by Jennifer
	Rough Times (Preview) Hi everyone... Just a note to let you ppls know that I am still thinking about you. And I haven't fallen off the face of the planet. Even though I haven't been around for awhile, you guys have been in my thoughts and prayers. Hard times have hit and I have been extremely overwhelmed. My Grandpa ha...	memeself	8	470	Nov 30, 2006 by hudsond
	Bitterness and Resentment (Preview) Tonight I had to go move the big stuff out of my house that is closing on Thursday. The riding mower, push mower, ladder, etc. My sponsor's husband got volunteered to come help me with his trailer. First off the A was supposed to be staying at the house and I haven't heard from him since Mon. So it's just me a...	carolinagirl	8	510	Nov 30, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Update - Truth - Lies - Manipulation ESH!! (Preview) AH came over for Thanksgiving and was the kind wonderful guy he can be when he really wants something. Sad to say it like that but I think I have been down this road enough times that I am starting to see that things will be good for a while and then regress back to alcoholic hell. I saw another p...	carolinagirl	4	443	Nov 30, 2006 by nmike
	in a funk (Preview) (((roomies))) the last few days have been hard for me for some reason. Not sure what is going on with me. My AH has been sober for over a month now and is in therapy and seeing a therapist, started going to weekly AA meetings. My kids were both here for Thanksgiving. We had a nice time. It was good to see t...	carosie	9	550	Nov 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	MEN IN AL-ANON (Preview) ((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))) I read Davids post today and It got me thinking.(oh no lol). I go to f2f meetings three different ones, I got one man in one of the meetings. He Is Awesome, he has taught me so much about myself, about Al-Anon, the steps, my behavior, my reactions, my resentment...	ally	19	1022	Nov 29, 2006 by CJ
	Separating the man from the disease (Preview) (((((hi Alanon Friends))))) I really needed my f2f meeting tonight but it started snowing. I spent some time over Thanksgiving with my AHsober. My mom invited us to her house for turkey dinner. I told her we both didn't have to come because it seems we are making everyone uncomfortable. I called my H...	nmike	5	450	Nov 29, 2006 by maresie2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.