Well I know that part of recovery means trying to be honest and no longer use subtle methods of communication, but I still think that sparing other peoples feelings is very important, especially when they are in recovery themselves.

I think there is no way around hurting her feelings if you just tell you that you don't want to take her anymore.

Maybe you can make it sort of inconvenient to ride with you?  Like do your shopping on the way home from the meeting while you are out?  And I mean MAJOR shopping, LOL, like grocery shopping or picking up prescriptions or trying on clothing, stuff that takes time.  Or maybe tell her you plan on stopping by a friends house after the meeting and ask her if she minds waiting in the car since you don't want your friend to know you go to alanon.  I don't mean lie either, maybe if you do have friends in the area that would be a good time to visit, after the meeting.

You can also tell her that your time is scheduled to the minute and you simply don't have time to pick her up and you will make both of you late and you don't feel right doing that.  Tell her that she must either walk to your place or find a ride to your place so that taking her does not include any extra time on your part.  If she can do that, maybe she will find it easier to ride with someone else.

You can also tell her to ask other people at the meeting for a ride, so that you two don't spend so much time alone, which I believe is discouraged in AA due to the prevelance of "13 steppin" as I have heard it called.  Tell her that you and others can maybe take turns taking her, so it is not ALWAYS you and her alone.

You can also arrange to carpool with others at the meeting, so that she is in a spot to ask other people for rides on the days that you don't drive.

Whatever you do, try not to hurt her feelings.  She is in recovery and may be very fragile. 

I think you are wise to avoid being alone a lot with a fellow member of AA of the opposite sex, that can lead to trouble for a lot of reasons.  Just make sure that how you handle this comes across loving and  compassionate and not like a rejection.

You could also try another meeting...maybe one closer to your job? Or on another day?

Next time try not to get    roped into too much contact with the opposite sex, it leads to problems such as this, where feelings may be involved.  People in recovery are fragile and reaching out and it is tempting to reach out to the wrong people sometimes.

You could also talk to other female members of the group, tell them of your discomfort and ask them for help in offering this woman rides so you don't have to say much of anything to her.

I hope you get this worked out marty, so you can go to meetings and not be so uncomfortable with this arrangement.  You are in recovery too, continue to do what is right for YOU, you are on the right track.  The last thing you need is one more stress in your life that COULD be avoided.

((((((((((((((((((marty))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so glad you are happy here with us...I have found a lot of caring and loving people here who have meant the world to me.

Your Friend,

Isabela