The material presented
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Just sitting here thinking about things, and wondering how hard can an Addict hit his Bottom.....hub really took a turn for the worse....he stole his dads credit cards and went on a 3 day binge.....now he is homeless....no vehicle....no money....no resoursces..no one to steal from.....he is literally a homeless street person...my thought is how long can he live th is way...first of all the so called friends of addiction will be gone now that the money is gone ....Chuck will have no way to get them what they need and now way get what he needs....my thought, death or jail is all that is left for him....I am sure of this....it is whatever comes first.....
I on the other hand am doing much better.......I have finally....and I mean finally accepted the reality of it all....it has been an extremly painful and hard fact to face but for the first time I am facing it......I realize the man I love is long gone.......I do not know this man.......I do not want to know this man.....
For me this is huge........the realization that I can now move forward.....wow....I have stopped crying and hurting every minute of the day....I am by no means saying I don't feel the pain...but.....I am able to see the joy in my life as well...I woke up the other day realizing that I am in control of my life....I can either move forward or stay in misery........my choice is life....and living.......
As CJ said, Wow. How poignant because you are both free to follow your path. I too am tired of my sadness and everyday pain. I want to be where you are someday. You are my guide.
Hello Andrea am so sorry about hubby and how hard can he hit ? well guessin God only knows . I hope u changed the locks on your doors , he will do any thing to get what he needs. Take care of you andrea and stay safe. Louise
They hit as hard as they need to. We would be the cushion between them and the hard ground if we allow it, and then it doesn't hurt so bad for them. But owwww...my back!!!!
That's what I had to keep in mind. It's better if they feel every consequence. That was the only way I could "help." To not cushion any fall. I only got black and blue when I did, and I deprived him the consequences of his actions.
I am here for you, dear friend. Keep taking care of you and the kids as you move forward. You are doing a wonderful job of that and I am so proud to be your friend. My prayers have been and will continue to be with you.
Good luck to you! It sounds like though these are difficult times you are seeing through that murky water!! Good for you! You do sound strong-what strength it takes to get where you are!!!
That is the hardest realization to come to. Sadly I hope he finds jail first. At least maybe then he'll end up sober and alive.
You sound so strong. I see you growing and accepting with grace all that has happened to you and your family. You set a remarkable example for your children. The love the three of you share is the glue of your family. That bond can never be broken. You are an amazing woman and I am honored to call you friend. As always I keep you and your family in my prayers.
Love and blessings to you all.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I think that is almost an unanswerable question, as it truly depends on the individual..... Some addicts can hit their bottom fairly easily, just by seeing the destruction that their addiction has caused themselves and their loved ones.... Others, unfortunately, may never find their bottom...
I recall the first treatment center (28-day facility) that my ex-A-wife attended. On one of the visits, I went out for a coffee with one of the guys in the facility.... He was a brilliant medical researcher, who had battled alcoholism for most of his adult life. He told me, very matter of factly, that he was literally "flatlined" three months earlier - his blood alcohol level registered at 0.28, his liver had shut down, and his whole body was giving up on him..... He was taken to the hospital by ambulance, and in intensive care for ten days, and was NOT expected to make it out alive. He made it out..... and literally two days after his release, he was drunk and throwing up outside his home again. Even HE was amazed at the strength and power that this disease had over him - here was a rational, intelligent, educated man, with the appearance of everything in place for himself - and he had yet to hit his bottom.
Stories like that both scare me, and reinforce how tremendous recovery really can be.
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I understand where you are. It is such a sad and scary thing to watch. I have children in the same place your husband is, and that scares me to death. I totaly except I am powerless over them, but my HP (God to me) knows all of this too, so I hang on to Him for dear life.
Dear Andrea - WOW! I am trying to draw from your strengths. It is amazing to me to read about others who have and still are travelling the same very rocky road I am on. It always seems like such a lonely road. Like I am the only one trying to navigate it. But I am not, am I? You are up there ahead of me somewhere and have found the fork in this road that leads to peace.
My AH told me a year ago that he had been addicted to crack for 2 years. We had a rocky time of it for a few months after that and then he landed in the hospital (a trip that ended a week long binge). He straightened up after that and stayed that way for 6 months and one week. Then exactly 1 week before Thanksgiving, he took off on another 4 day binge. Things haven't been the same between us. I am ready to give him the boot but feel like I am turning my back on a stray dog. I know he will have no where to go. So where will that land him. House hopping for a while until there is no one left to hop to? He would either straighten out his life or end up on the streets. The 2nd option scares me but it isn't my option is it?
Reading your post has helped me to realize that I am not the bad person I feel like I would be if I kicked him out on his butt. It is obviously what needs to be done. For his own good and mine & the kids as well.
Hope all is well on your end. Keep you chin up and stay strong.
I'm glad that I made the same choice as you did... LIVING.
My A... also a coke addict... has taken the other path. As far as I know he may be on the streets as well. Last I knew he was in Texas... with no money to come back to Michigan.
Once I was away from him I realized that I was WAY better off being away from him than I was being with him. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but, in the long run, probably the best thing I've done for myself.
Take care of YOU...
Artygirl.
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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.
I'm in the exact same spot! Glad to hear you're moving through it. My husband is also broke, homeless, lost the truck and legal problems galore. I hear from him less and less and that makes it easier. I think you are right, death or jail or recovery those are the only options. It's hard to watch, turn your head and look away! That's what I try to do, I get very busy with something else so I can't think about it and I try really hard not to feel sorry for him. Reread some old posts when you were really angry, that helps me a lot when I feel sorry - He did this to himself. He had choices!
How hard can they hit???? I guess the only answer to that is...."as hard as it takes".....and yes,sadly that can mean homelessness,destitute,jail....death!!! It's So painful to witness isn't it?
That's why,for me,I had to cut loose. he's NOT taking me down with him.....and hard as it is,I have to focus on me. Focussing on him all these years did nothing for my self esteem or peace of mind.
Andrea, I have asked myself that question many a time, "How many times can he hit bottom and still get up" I've come to the conclusion that my Ason has a bungee cord between his hiney and the bottom. He just keeps hitting it and then hitting it harder. Just about the time I think things just could not get any worse for him, he proves me wrong.
Seperating ourselves from these pits they fall into is difficult but I know if I fall into that pit with him then neither one of us will ever get well.
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
