Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

confused · confused

I was reading a post from another board member and this line came to me, Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies. This was one of the ways I have learned to apply me program. I am AWARE that the A in my life will lie to me if I ask, confront etc. anything having to do with his addictions, which on some da...

maire rua · maire rua

Yes, I just got over a chest infection, to fall victim to the stomach bug of all stomach bugs. I am trying to be patient with all around me but need to set some boundaries if not walk away from a job due to a job colleague who places unreasonable demands on my time, though I have been more than accommodating f...

QOD · QOD

Many of you know my story. My AH and his crack binging. Well what do you do when you reach the point where you are tired of talking about all of the problems? You see, this has been going on for so long and has been at it's worst for the last year. It has taken me a year to get to this great point in my recov...

djdrew01 · djdrew01

hi, I grew up with a rageaholic/ alcoholic father and a mother who stuffed feelings. Some how my father took a liking for me as a baby and I ended up in the middle of my parents relationship. My father expressed his feelings to me, rather than my mother. After lots of therapy and alanon and aa I have real...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Wash. cabbie returns $6,000 left in car LYNNWOOD, Wash. - A taxi driver found a wallet containing almost $6,000 in the back of his car, then raced to the airport in time to return it to his owner. Vinod Mago, 55, says he never thought twice. The owner thanked him with $100, which Mago used to take his famil...

EarthAngel · EarthAngel

Ive been reading a lot of touching stories and I felt the urge to write my own. I come from a really amazing family full of teachers, leaders, social activists, and brave souls. Within this mix of beauty and pride, there are also alcoholics, addicts, and family members that suffer from mental illness...

Maverick · Maverick

After helping him get half custody of his kids and after helping raise them for 10+ years, my husband chooses alcohol over me and walks out the door with my entire family. He didn't leave because I was a bad stepmom--I was a GREAT stepmom...I did things for the kids their own narcissistic mother wo...

Becky1 · Becky1

Hello everyone. Just wanted to let you know, for those who are interested, what is going on with me. My computer is sick. My husband tried all day yesterday to fix it, but it is still broken. We even bought a new Modem, but now the screen resolution is unreadable. I was having withdrawls yesterday fro...

Becky1 · Becky1

Since Labor Day, I have worn a "Wish Bracelet". I bought it at the campground when we went to Michigan to see baby granddaughter. It was braided cotton cord with 5 tan colored beads. When I put it on, I made a wish, and supposedly, when the bracelet wore off, your wish would come true. It did...

jewely · jewely

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!![i am screaming inside] changing my own behavior is sooooooooo hard. i can see where my behavior contributes to the situation i am living in. even when i want to change, i am unable. i feel myself slipping back into the same pattern, just as an addict must go back to it&...

minnie · minnie

Well, my husband finally admitted to me last night what I've know for a couple years now-he's an alcoholic. I don't know what prompted me to bring up the subject, it just kinda came out of my mouth. I asked him why he felt it neccessary to drink every single night. He said I don't know...

lam0204 · lam0204

finally the truth comes out and I am not the bad guy anymore. I have been trying to convince my ex husbands parents that he is an alcoholic and that they needed to help me keep my daughters safe from his disease. They never believed me. But I stopped trying to talk to them about it about 4 months ago becau...

Fifi · Fifi

hi all so the weeks that my Abf has ben home from rehab have been so hard for me. i am filled with questions about our future...i am resentful that he has so little to give me...i am wishing for more for me and my kids...all selfish, but normal feelings i guess. i love this man - and we have had so many fun and...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I am a compromiser .... my brother often laughs with me because he will choose a side of a debate he knows I believe in just to watch me stand up for someting I do not believe in to make the outcome that we meet in the middle. Although this is a good quality to have, I feel it is limiting me in some ways. Choice...

maresie2 · maresie2

I've been seeing a therapist now, an intern for a few months. I have to say its never really gone that that well. I saw another intern before her for a few months too and that helped although I never spoke about my relationship there. I think its pretty hard to get a therapist who really understand...

Alanoner · Alanoner

I tried to respond to someone that responded to my post and it disappeared into thin air and never appeared. Is there a limit to how many people can respond under a specific thread? Or is something wrong with my computer? -- Edited by Alanoner at 17:37, 2007-02-10

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Each day is a new start. Each moment is a beginning. We do not have to wait until Monday to get back on the program or clean a closet or tackle a difficult report. We do not have to wait until tomorrow morning, either. Now is the moment to stop, to make a phone ca...

leo · leo

Just got on the board and thought that it has been a really long time since i have seen Jeannie post. Does anyone know if she is okay? Luv Leo xx

kitty · kitty

The word disease means - dis-ease, literally, it is not healthy, homeostatic or balanced. Is alcoholism a disease like any other mental disease, absolutely! That is the cornerstone of the 12 steps - just like sex addiction, work-a-holism or any other compulsive and out of control behaviour tha...

Alanoner · Alanoner

This is a very interesting thread... As my name implies I do really research Al-anon thoroughly, not only the literature, but also it's history and inception. The philosophy of its founder, his history, his story, his rationale, etc.. After all, if we follow a man, then Al-anon is a cult and tha...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

Kids are feeling much better...now if we can just get my bf better. Still haven't managed that MRI for my daughter but she will be seeing a specialist the end of March for the seizures. I am sure they will order another MRI. In my last post about our eventful emergency room trip, I spoke about my dau...

Moon · Moon

Wow sometimes I feel I'm moving through this program soooooo sloooooow. Quite a bit different from my first meeting, where I felt like I completed the first three steps before the meeting ended! LOL. I'm getting ready to start my fourth step, I'm inbetween sponsors, everytime I fe...

Moon · Moon

So I went to a new meeting tonight. I had never been to this location and it was dark and raining and...well you get the picture, I was late going in because I got lost (being my first time to this location) So I walk in, I see an al-anon sign, I see a brightly lit room with coffee set up, so for sure this must b...

melamom815 · melamom815

Been a little while since I have been here. I have been sorting through all of the events that have been happening since December. So a little update. I went back to my home because hub said he would pay the bills and leave me alone. Should have known better. He was back sweet talking within days. Tal...

smpoli · smpoli

Ok, what is up. Is there a conspiracy? I am so used to going into the chat room and having several people to talk to. This is the second time in the past couple of days that nobody is in there. I think I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed! Hubby wanted to go fishing, but didn't want to go w/o any $$ in hi...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I mean, things are OK, but not really. Just like quiet before a storm (I hope I'm exagerating). This week I started my CNA class. I have to get up very early so I keep trying to go to bed early. Sunday night we are making the bed. We start to bicker, which is not unusual. I hate making the bed with him, it&#...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

On Wednesday night my A was getting ready for his dissappearing act but I said "you can't go now I'm going for a walk" and went right out the door. It was a step meeting and they were on step two. I didn't speak but what I would have said was: "My life became unmanageable becau...

bubbles1990 · bubbles1990

(((((((((roomies)))))))))) I know that I will always have my terrible charater defects but I sure thought by now I would have gotten a little better at relaxing and forgiving myself when i stumble over my Terrible charater defects ..... OH MY this last week I have been battling with GUILT over My char...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Hi, something I read suggested, as a babystep, to find ten things that you like to do that doesn't really involve anybody else (AKA the A in your life). The idea was to eventually move on to more pressing ideas like what you want out of life and stuff like that. I found it felt good to think of them even t...

bob6502 · bob6502

While we are busy talking let's not forget to listen. Higher Power doesn't always wrap presents in pretty paper...sometimes miracles happen when I receive things that don't look like presents.

What other people think of me is none of my business. This means that if I do my b...

gardengal · gardengal

I ask this question , as this an Alanon program it is about ourselves. If we understand where we need the most help in healing , perhaps we can also understand that there are choices and solutions that we can make. We who are affected by anothers alcoholism/drugs usually feel we are to blame somehow a...

hudsond · hudsond

Yesterday, I posted about feeling insecure and how I think I function well in a crisis, but the everyday stuff gets me! Well so I opened my big mouth and so last night here comes a "mini" crisis. the following material may be angering to some: I have not shared it to make anyone uncom...

marmare · marmare

Well after only 60 days with the company, the numbers came out for January....I am #9 out of 24 sales people in 8 showrooms!!!! I was so excited I had to share with you all. It is amazing what has happened to me in just 2 years with learning how to and continuing to learn how to take care of me. I know I can acco...

Moon · Moon

Ha I knew I'd get your attention!! (rolling eyes) BTW where is the rolling eye's smiley? Anyway don't you all think it's hillarious that the al-anon message board has a huge amount of emotional smiley's? Well maybe you don't think it's funny, but I do. I have another...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

I've introduced myself to you all, so here goes, this is my story. Having been brought into the world, and not realising throughout my childhood I was living with alcoholisim. My father being the ah and my mother being his enabler, they still to this day carryout their roles. How I feel for them, bu...

jewely · jewely

well, i finally talked to my daughter this morning. when asked why........, she didn't call, SHE LIED TO ME !!! when i hung up the phone knowing full well she lied, the thought occurred to me. this has become a game to her, she lies, waits for my reaction and then when i have made my move, she makes her...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'm just feeling a bit lost and sad today. Just need to vent and I know you'll all understand. I broke up from my Abf at Christmas. I had too. I couldn't cope with it at all. But I love him and I miss him so much. I try to fill my time, be busy, but I can't ignore the void. Is this the...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

I first found Al-Anon in 1991, that's when I attended my very first meeting. All I did was cry couldn't do anything else, but went home feeling alot better for going. I attended a few more meetings during that year, then did the silly thing by never going back. Although I'm glad to say I'...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so I have been reading ya'll's advice (starting to fit in here...) I have a restraining order that is good thru the end of this month that I got from November when he broke into my house. The situation has been that we have seen eachother and he has come over to visit the kids and I have gone to s...

Wilted · Wilted

I just finished reading this book by the Al-Anon Family Groups and for me personally this book has been a gift of wisdom and discernment for many of the "dilemmas" in my marriage to an A. I was not sure that AL-Anon would be of help to me personally but this program really is helping me to focus o...

MeMyselfandI · MeMyselfandI

Hi all its Debs My mom sent this to me in my email and i thought maybe y'all would like to read it. It feels good to focus on the positive things in our life .. lets not forget our blessings:) What Happens in Heaven I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-...

Diva · Diva

I prefer to effect my recovery in the way I see works best for me. If I sometimes do not adhere unerringly and unbendingly to the concepts, steps, and traditions...well what can I say....I am not a cookie cutter. I firmly believe that we all must take from AlAnon what we need. I further believe there i...

Rita G · Rita G

When I entered recovery, I had no idea what was the definition of "boundary" then to try to set one with the A's & other people in my life????? - I couldn't fathom how that was going to happen. But it has & it is still happening - some areas are easier than others, some me &...

RoseX · RoseX

I'm a newbie to the group, but not a newbie to the messed up life I've had with my AH. God, I pray I'm not as messed up in the head as he is. I'm married to an educated AH with some issues from childhood. Had I known how messed up he was about his childhood, I would not have married him. He w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I went today to get a copy of the police report and it said basically nothing so I decided to stop by the motel he was arrested at. The girl talked THANK GOD and said that a girl had come running in to the lobby in her tshirt and underwear hysterical saying somone had just raped her (my A) and he was arreste...

Alanoner · Alanoner

Alanon is an old program, and proven to be helpful to many. We must be careful not to change its message to suit our own purposes or according to what we think at the time. I know it is difficult, so many of us want SO much to help another, we want so much to help them stop hurting. A few months ago, I read a pa...

mom to 2 · mom to 2

Hello everyone, I read often and learn alot from this board. I am struggling with a decision. My AH has been in and out of sobriety for 2 years. Really mostly in but the outs are devastating. It seems he overdrank for many years but there were no consequences and now he's mostly sober but one binge-...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi Everyone)))) Well I have an update and questions also. Yesterday, sober AH was given 6 months in jail for his DUI - to begin in April this year. Hopefully for our financial sake he will get work release. Things are better of course because he is sober, but at times my anger will crop up, the hurt...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Background... A's mother was also A and in recovery for 20+ years. She still lies and is VERY manipulative. Always the martyr... I have always helped everyone and now noone will help me... She was also my best friend for many years. Situation: Last night a friend of their family (who I have met o...

maresie · maresie

I am going on an interview tomorrow. The A is his normal pre paying the rent funk. I really do believe he wants a Mother. He does not want to be responsible on any level. I am just going to steer clear of him for a few days. He now has a whole long pattern of pre rent paying tantrums and funk. Last night he dem...

Riley · Riley

Last Saturday I attended one of my favorite alanon meetings and had coffee with people afterwards. I used to say hi to members after, but bolt home to be with A. I have tried to to connect to other "people", parents at my daughters school...only to find addicts who wanted someone to cling to....

Gailey · Gailey

Well, it seems I have been trying to keep myself in denial about a situation. I think I am not there anymore. My younger son is an A also. I would not call him an A before but I will now. I wouldn't call him an A because he could go for weeks without drinking and then tie one on for an entire weekend. After re...

jewely · jewely

friends, as i was reading over tiger2006 reply to my post '' i was just sitting here.........''. i heard the words, ''yes, but it is better than being beat'' in my head. that is what i used to tell myself concerning my relationship with my husband. when i met him year...

gimmpy · gimmpy

Any other people pleasers here? It is really starting to annoy me, I say I won't do this but there I go again. I'm sure it is all about insecurity, and fear and all that good stuff. When it hapens at work, I feel like such a looser. I've done a forth step in AA, but have not looked at it from this s...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Maybe you have heard these before, but I will share these from a church marquee sign in a nearby town. Make your To-Do list, then give God the eraser. Tell God your plans for today. He needs a laugh.

davidssibling · davidssibling

It me, Eve..gotta learn how to change name from davidssibling to Eve anyway I love MIP room, not the room, its the people who make the room. Only thing is I work nights, so often have to leave in middle of meeting. Was hoping to find a room with different hours. I found another room. First and only time I got...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Well I asked for it .... and now the meeting is set. I guess my HP isn't really concerned with my financial problems since nothing happened today about that. What did happen .. my inquiries into returning to school were answered. I have an appointment set to meet with a counselor. I'm a little...

Wilted · Wilted

There's so much anger and resentment in me towards my AH....I don't want it to be there but I don't know how to let go of it. I know all that I'm feeling is not just towards my AH, but also my abusive ex. I mentioned before that I was married for 23 years to my ex and most of those years he was...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) I have been in a weird funk the past few weeks. Yesterday I really didn't want to go to my F2F, but I just kinda got in the car anyway. Of course, I heard things from people that I really needed and felt good about being there. This morning I read this in ODAT " .... that I may l...

kissers · kissers

I posted before about my pending layoff. They only employed me while they needed the help. Once the work was complete I was given notice along with a dozen others. I've been seeing new faces at work too. Apparently they do this once a year. It reminded me of how the A treated me. He used me until he was f...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies (Preview) I was reading a post from another board member and this line came to me, Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies. This was one of the ways I have learned to apply me program. I am AWARE that the A in my life will lie to me if I ask, confront etc. anything having to do with his addictions, which on some da...	confused	4	505	Feb 12, 2007 by QOD
	feeling sorry for myself and need to vent (Preview) Yes, I just got over a chest infection, to fall victim to the stomach bug of all stomach bugs. I am trying to be patient with all around me but need to set some boundaries if not walk away from a job due to a job colleague who places unreasonable demands on my time, though I have been more than accommodating f...	maire rua	2	341	Feb 12, 2007 by irish54
	What to do about Unsolicited Advice from Family? (Preview) Many of you know my story. My AH and his crack binging. Well what do you do when you reach the point where you are tired of talking about all of the problems? You see, this has been going on for so long and has been at it's worst for the last year. It has taken me a year to get to this great point in my recov...	QOD	12	1219	Feb 12, 2007 by QOD
	Don't feel like I've LOVED pets, girlfriends (Preview) hi, I grew up with a rageaholic/ alcoholic father and a mother who stuffed feelings. Some how my father took a liking for me as a baby and I ended up in the middle of my parents relationship. My father expressed his feelings to me, rather than my mother. After lots of therapy and alanon and aa I have real...	djdrew01	5	420	Feb 12, 2007 by Lunamoth
	A whole new prospective on humility (Preview) Wash. cabbie returns $6,000 left in car LYNNWOOD, Wash. - A taxi driver found a wallet containing almost $6,000 in the back of his car, then raced to the airport in time to return it to his owner. Vinod Mago, 55, says he never thought twice. The owner thanked him with $100, which Mago used to take his famil...	Tiger2006	2	549	Feb 12, 2007 by Leetle
	My Story (Preview) Ive been reading a lot of touching stories and I felt the urge to write my own. I come from a really amazing family full of teachers, leaders, social activists, and brave souls. Within this mix of beauty and pride, there are also alcoholics, addicts, and family members that suffer from mental illness...	EarthAngel	2	380	Feb 11, 2007 by debilyn
	He left and took my stepkids away from me. (Preview) After helping him get half custody of his kids and after helping raise them for 10+ years, my husband chooses alcohol over me and walks out the door with my entire family. He didn't leave because I was a bad stepmom--I was a GREAT stepmom...I did things for the kids their own narcissistic mother wo...	Maverick	16	596	Feb 11, 2007 by jrtjosey
	My Broken Life (Preview) Hello everyone. Just wanted to let you know, for those who are interested, what is going on with me. My computer is sick. My husband tried all day yesterday to fix it, but it is still broken. We even bought a new Modem, but now the screen resolution is unreadable. I was having withdrawls yesterday fro...	Becky1	3	394	Feb 11, 2007 by maresie2
	My Wish Bracelet (Preview) Since Labor Day, I have worn a "Wish Bracelet". I bought it at the campground when we went to Michigan to see baby granddaughter. It was braided cotton cord with 5 tan colored beads. When I put it on, I made a wish, and supposedly, when the bracelet wore off, your wish would come true. It did...	Becky1	4	389	Feb 11, 2007 by maresie2
	AAAAAHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG!!![i am screaming inside] (Preview) AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!![i am screaming inside] changing my own behavior is sooooooooo hard. i can see where my behavior contributes to the situation i am living in. even when i want to change, i am unable. i feel myself slipping back into the same pattern, just as an addict must go back to it&...	jewely	4	518	Feb 11, 2007 by maresie2
	my story, kinda long (Preview) Well, my husband finally admitted to me last night what I've know for a couple years now-he's an alcoholic. I don't know what prompted me to bring up the subject, it just kinda came out of my mouth. I asked him why he felt it neccessary to drink every single night. He said I don't know...	minnie	5	437	Feb 11, 2007 by maresie2
	the truth comes out (Preview) finally the truth comes out and I am not the bad guy anymore. I have been trying to convince my ex husbands parents that he is an alcoholic and that they needed to help me keep my daughters safe from his disease. They never believed me. But I stopped trying to talk to them about it about 4 months ago becau...	lam0204	4	490	Feb 11, 2007 by lin0606
	ugh (Preview) hi all so the weeks that my Abf has ben home from rehab have been so hard for me. i am filled with questions about our future...i am resentful that he has so little to give me...i am wishing for more for me and my kids...all selfish, but normal feelings i guess. i love this man - and we have had so many fun and...	Fifi	7	430	Feb 11, 2007 by HowToSaveALife
	Making and owning my choices without guilt (Preview) I am a compromiser .... my brother often laughs with me because he will choose a side of a debate he knows I believe in just to watch me stand up for someting I do not believe in to make the outcome that we meet in the middle. Although this is a good quality to have, I feel it is limiting me in some ways. Choice...	Jennifer	4	348	Feb 11, 2007 by Barbs45
	O for over involvement. (Preview) I've been seeing a therapist now, an intern for a few months. I have to say its never really gone that that well. I saw another intern before her for a few months too and that helped although I never spoke about my relationship there. I think its pretty hard to get a therapist who really understand...	maresie2	1	736	Feb 11, 2007 by Jerry F
	test post (Preview) I tried to respond to someone that responded to my post and it disappeared into thin air and never appeared. Is there a limit to how many people can respond under a specific thread? Or is something wrong with my computer? -- Edited by Alanoner at 17:37, 2007-02-10	Alanoner	5	489	Feb 11, 2007 by Jerry F
	The NOW (Preview) When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Each day is a new start. Each moment is a beginning. We do not have to wait until Monday to get back on the program or clean a closet or tackle a difficult report. We do not have to wait until tomorrow morning, either. Now is the moment to stop, to make a phone ca...	Tiger2006	2	491	Feb 11, 2007 by abbyal
	Jeannie (Preview) Just got on the board and thought that it has been a really long time since i have seen Jeannie post. Does anyone know if she is okay? Luv Leo xx	leo	2	411	Feb 10, 2007 by tea2
	Is it a disease & other bitter pills (Preview) The word disease means - dis-ease, literally, it is not healthy, homeostatic or balanced. Is alcoholism a disease like any other mental disease, absolutely! That is the cornerstone of the 12 steps - just like sex addiction, work-a-holism or any other compulsive and out of control behaviour tha...	kitty	9	1034	Feb 10, 2007 by nmike
	sickER than the alcoholic? (Preview) This is a very interesting thread... As my name implies I do really research Al-anon thoroughly, not only the literature, but also it's history and inception. The philosophy of its founder, his history, his story, his rationale, etc.. After all, if we follow a man, then Al-anon is a cult and tha...	Alanoner	24	1341	Feb 10, 2007 by drucilla06
	Ziggy's Update (Preview) Kids are feeling much better...now if we can just get my bf better. Still haven't managed that MRI for my daughter but she will be seeing a specialist the end of March for the seizures. I am sure they will order another MRI. In my last post about our eventful emergency room trip, I spoke about my dau...	ZiggyDoodles	3	350	Feb 10, 2007 by irish54
	Record slow time (Preview) Wow sometimes I feel I'm moving through this program soooooo sloooooow. Quite a bit different from my first meeting, where I felt like I completed the first three steps before the meeting ended! LOL. I'm getting ready to start my fourth step, I'm inbetween sponsors, everytime I fe...	Moon	5	429	Feb 10, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Anyone ever end up in the wrong 12 step group? (Preview) So I went to a new meeting tonight. I had never been to this location and it was dark and raining and...well you get the picture, I was late going in because I got lost (being my first time to this location) So I walk in, I see an al-anon sign, I see a brightly lit room with coffee set up, so for sure this must b...	Moon	5	374	Feb 10, 2007 by Tiger2006
	update and a bit long (Preview) Been a little while since I have been here. I have been sorting through all of the events that have been happening since December. So a little update. I went back to my home because hub said he would pay the bills and leave me alone. Should have known better. He was back sweet talking within days. Tal...	melamom815	4	448	Feb 10, 2007 by RainyJamie
	Nobody in chat (Preview) Ok, what is up. Is there a conspiracy? I am so used to going into the chat room and having several people to talk to. This is the second time in the past couple of days that nobody is in there. I think I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed! Hubby wanted to go fishing, but didn't want to go w/o any $$ in hi...	smpoli	6	432	Feb 10, 2007 by smpoli
	A little bit of trouble (Preview) I mean, things are OK, but not really. Just like quiet before a storm (I hope I'm exagerating). This week I started my CNA class. I have to get up very early so I keep trying to go to bed early. Sunday night we are making the bed. We start to bicker, which is not unusual. I hate making the bed with him, it&#...	RainyJamie	12	575	Feb 10, 2007 by RainyJamie
	I went to the meeting haha so there! (Preview) On Wednesday night my A was getting ready for his dissappearing act but I said "you can't go now I'm going for a walk" and went right out the door. It was a step meeting and they were on step two. I didn't speak but what I would have said was: "My life became unmanageable becau...	RainyJamie	7	557	Feb 10, 2007 by carosie
	charater defects that show up when I am not in contact with HP (Preview) (((((((((roomies)))))))))) I know that I will always have my terrible charater defects but I sure thought by now I would have gotten a little better at relaxing and forgiving myself when i stumble over my Terrible charater defects ..... OH MY this last week I have been battling with GUILT over My char...	bubbles1990	3	487	Feb 10, 2007 by Barbs45
	10 things you like to do (Preview) Hi, something I read suggested, as a babystep, to find ten things that you like to do that doesn't really involve anybody else (AKA the A in your life). The idea was to eventually move on to more pressing ideas like what you want out of life and stuff like that. I found it felt good to think of them even t...	RainyJamie	14	616	Feb 10, 2007 by Moon
	Bobisms for today (Preview) While we are busy talking let's not forget to listen. Higher Power doesn't always wrap presents in pretty paper...sometimes miracles happen when I receive things that don't look like presents. What other people think of me is none of my business. This means that if I do my b...	bob6502	9	595	Feb 10, 2007 by sandie123
	Question? "Where do you feel neglected, weak, or unlovable? (Preview) I ask this question , as this an Alanon program it is about ourselves. If we understand where we need the most help in healing , perhaps we can also understand that there are choices and solutions that we can make. We who are affected by anothers alcoholism/drugs usually feel we are to blame somehow a...	gardengal	5	682	Feb 9, 2007 by gardengal
	My A-what a big boy! (long) (Preview) Yesterday, I posted about feeling insecure and how I think I function well in a crisis, but the everyday stuff gets me! Well so I opened my big mouth and so last night here comes a "mini" crisis. the following material may be angering to some: I have not shared it to make anyone uncom...	hudsond	5	409	Feb 9, 2007 by leo
	Job Update (Preview) Well after only 60 days with the company, the numbers came out for January....I am #9 out of 24 sales people in 8 showrooms!!!! I was so excited I had to share with you all. It is amazing what has happened to me in just 2 years with learning how to and continuing to learn how to take care of me. I know I can acco...	marmare	10	441	Feb 9, 2007 by leo
	Emotional Rescue (Preview) Ha I knew I'd get your attention!! (rolling eyes) BTW where is the rolling eye's smiley? Anyway don't you all think it's hillarious that the al-anon message board has a huge amount of emotional smiley's? Well maybe you don't think it's funny, but I do. I have another...	Moon	7	387	Feb 9, 2007 by bubbles1990
	The Never Ending Story............. (Preview) I've introduced myself to you all, so here goes, this is my story. Having been brought into the world, and not realising throughout my childhood I was living with alcoholisim. My father being the ah and my mother being his enabler, they still to this day carryout their roles. How I feel for them, bu...	Barbs45	2	453	Feb 9, 2007 by maresie2
	she lied sto me.......... (Preview) well, i finally talked to my daughter this morning. when asked why........, she didn't call, SHE LIED TO ME !!! when i hung up the phone knowing full well she lied, the thought occurred to me. this has become a game to her, she lies, waits for my reaction and then when i have made my move, she makes her...	jewely	6	475	Feb 9, 2007 by bubbles1990
	this lonliness (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm just feeling a bit lost and sad today. Just need to vent and I know you'll all understand. I broke up from my Abf at Christmas. I had too. I couldn't cope with it at all. But I love him and I miss him so much. I try to fill my time, be busy, but I can't ignore the void. Is this the...	annmarie	6	318	Feb 9, 2007 by maresie2
	Glad to be back! (Preview) I first found Al-Anon in 1991, that's when I attended my very first meeting. All I did was cry couldn't do anything else, but went home feeling alot better for going. I attended a few more meetings during that year, then did the silly thing by never going back. Although I'm glad to say I'...	Barbs45	4	284	Feb 9, 2007 by aunitedway
	To serve or not to serve??? That is the question. (Preview) Ok so I have been reading ya'll's advice (starting to fit in here...) I have a restraining order that is good thru the end of this month that I got from November when he broke into my house. The situation has been that we have seen eachother and he has come over to visit the kids and I have gone to s...	carolinagirl	8	573	Feb 9, 2007 by emma
	The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage (Preview) I just finished reading this book by the Al-Anon Family Groups and for me personally this book has been a gift of wisdom and discernment for many of the "dilemmas" in my marriage to an A. I was not sure that AL-Anon would be of help to me personally but this program really is helping me to focus o...	Wilted	4	489	Feb 9, 2007 by Moon
	Reasons to be Greatful (Preview) Hi all its Debs My mom sent this to me in my email and i thought maybe y'all would like to read it. It feels good to focus on the positive things in our life .. lets not forget our blessings:) What Happens in Heaven I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-...	MeMyselfandI	1	768	Feb 9, 2007 by Gailey
	Excuse me, all of you, for not being a proper AlAnoner. (Preview) I prefer to effect my recovery in the way I see works best for me. If I sometimes do not adhere unerringly and unbendingly to the concepts, steps, and traditions...well what can I say....I am not a cookie cutter. I firmly believe that we all must take from AlAnon what we need. I further believe there i...	Diva	17	783	Feb 9, 2007 by kitty
	Boundary Setting Sentences (Preview) When I entered recovery, I had no idea what was the definition of "boundary" then to try to set one with the A's & other people in my life????? - I couldn't fathom how that was going to happen. But it has & it is still happening - some areas are easier than others, some me &...	Rita G	8	1621	Feb 9, 2007 by Jerry F
	Married to an AH and soooo confused! (Preview) I'm a newbie to the group, but not a newbie to the messed up life I've had with my AH. God, I pray I'm not as messed up in the head as he is. I'm married to an educated AH with some issues from childhood. Had I known how messed up he was about his childhood, I would not have married him. He w...	RoseX	6	516	Feb 9, 2007 by Jerry F
	The Plot Thickens (Preview) So I went today to get a copy of the police report and it said basically nothing so I decided to stop by the motel he was arrested at. The girl talked THANK GOD and said that a girl had come running in to the lobby in her tshirt and underwear hysterical saying somone had just raped her (my A) and he was arreste...	carolinagirl	7	570	Feb 9, 2007 by gardengal
	alanon should be spoken here (Preview) Alanon is an old program, and proven to be helpful to many. We must be careful not to change its message to suit our own purposes or according to what we think at the time. I know it is difficult, so many of us want SO much to help another, we want so much to help them stop hurting. A few months ago, I read a pa...	Alanoner	17	1526	Feb 8, 2007 by bobump
	in and out of sobriety (Preview) Hello everyone, I read often and learn alot from this board. I am struggling with a decision. My AH has been in and out of sobriety for 2 years. Really mostly in but the outs are devastating. It seems he overdrank for many years but there were no consequences and now he's mostly sober but one binge-...	mom to 2	7	517	Feb 8, 2007 by Jen
	Jail time and communication.... (Preview) (((Hi Everyone)))) Well I have an update and questions also. Yesterday, sober AH was given 6 months in jail for his DUI - to begin in April this year. Hopefully for our financial sake he will get work release. Things are better of course because he is sober, but at times my anger will crop up, the hurt...	hersh	5	570	Feb 8, 2007 by lin0606
	How do I deal with his mother?????? (Preview) Background... A's mother was also A and in recovery for 20+ years. She still lies and is VERY manipulative. Always the martyr... I have always helped everyone and now noone will help me... She was also my best friend for many years. Situation: Last night a friend of their family (who I have met o...	carolinagirl	6	528	Feb 8, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Progress not perfection (Preview) I am going on an interview tomorrow. The A is his normal pre paying the rent funk. I really do believe he wants a Mother. He does not want to be responsible on any level. I am just going to steer clear of him for a few days. He now has a whole long pattern of pre rent paying tantrums and funk. Last night he dem...	maresie	4	433	Feb 8, 2007 by aunitedway
	Doing Things for ME! (Preview) Last Saturday I attended one of my favorite alanon meetings and had coffee with people afterwards. I used to say hi to members after, but bolt home to be with A. I have tried to to connect to other "people", parents at my daughters school...only to find addicts who wanted someone to cling to....	Riley	4	411	Feb 8, 2007 by maresie
	Another..........here we go again!!! (Preview) Well, it seems I have been trying to keep myself in denial about a situation. I think I am not there anymore. My younger son is an A also. I would not call him an A before but I will now. I wouldn't call him an A because he could go for weeks without drinking and then tie one on for an entire weekend. After re...	Gailey	3	485	Feb 8, 2007 by hersh
	''yes,but it is better than being beat.'' (Preview) friends, as i was reading over tiger2006 reply to my post '' i was just sitting here.........''. i heard the words, ''yes, but it is better than being beat'' in my head. that is what i used to tell myself concerning my relationship with my husband. when i met him year...	jewely	3	600	Feb 8, 2007 by maresie
	I'm such a people pleaser..drives me crazy (Preview) Any other people pleasers here? It is really starting to annoy me, I say I won't do this but there I go again. I'm sure it is all about insecurity, and fear and all that good stuff. When it hapens at work, I feel like such a looser. I've done a forth step in AA, but have not looked at it from this s...	gimmpy	6	567	Feb 8, 2007 by Tiger2006
	A couple quotes for Today (Preview) Maybe you have heard these before, but I will share these from a church marquee sign in a nearby town. Make your To-Do list, then give God the eraser. Tell God your plans for today. He needs a laugh.	wallsal55	2	343	Feb 8, 2007 by Karilynn
	Kinda Funny (Preview) It me, Eve..gotta learn how to change name from davidssibling to Eve anyway I love MIP room, not the room, its the people who make the room. Only thing is I work nights, so often have to leave in middle of meeting. Was hoping to find a room with different hours. I found another room. First and only time I got...	davidssibling	7	444	Feb 8, 2007 by davidssibling
	HP thinks I can (Preview) Well I asked for it .... and now the meeting is set. I guess my HP isn't really concerned with my financial problems since nothing happened today about that. What did happen .. my inquiries into returning to school were answered. I have an appointment set to meet with a counselor. I'm a little...	Jennifer	5	484	Feb 8, 2007 by aunitedway
	How do you let go of the anger and resentment? (Preview) There's so much anger and resentment in me towards my AH....I don't want it to be there but I don't know how to let go of it. I know all that I'm feeling is not just towards my AH, but also my abusive ex. I mentioned before that I was married for 23 years to my ex and most of those years he was...	Wilted	6	424	Feb 8, 2007 by CJ
	... That I may leave nothing undone... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I have been in a weird funk the past few weeks. Yesterday I really didn't want to go to my F2F, but I just kinda got in the car anyway. Of course, I heard things from people that I really needed and felt good about being there. This morning I read this in ODAT " .... that I may l...	rtexas	6	535	Feb 7, 2007 by Karilynn
	My job will be ending soon (Preview) I posted before about my pending layoff. They only employed me while they needed the help. Once the work was complete I was given notice along with a dozen others. I've been seeing new faces at work too. Apparently they do this once a year. It reminded me of how the A treated me. He used me until he was f...	kissers	2	364	Feb 7, 2007 by evey
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.