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new here...
(Preview)
I have wanted to get on a message board for support like this for a long time...I tried another board last week and unfortunately never got a response from anyone- bummer...so now I found this one and it looks like a more active board so I hope I've found the place. My husband of almost 8 years is an alcoh...
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Chase
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5
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417
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Meeting my needs
(Preview)
As you all know I am isolated, financialy poor, emotionally poor, living in a tiny tiny space, surrounded by dysfunctional people, living pretty marginally. In the past I've always looked for rescue. These days I am trying to really listen when I meet people to see if they can meet my needs. That means...
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maresie
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5
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339
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wondering if i should attend/belong at a meeting
(Preview)
hi. i've begun considering going to an al-anon meeting, and seeing if it applies to my situation... so maybe i can get some feedback here too. i'm 24. almost a year ago, i met a recovering alcoholic/addict. he's very open about these things. we became friends, and within about 2 months we were dati...
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luna starla
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9
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1071
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Nothing but pain
(Preview)
I am new here. I so wish I didn't have to be here. I actually posted on another board back in April because I wasn't sure my DH was an AH. I was assured that he was. We've been married 16 years and have two young children. He drank when we first married - weekends only, never to get drunk. I'd have a coupl...
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mm18123
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4
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494
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horrible dream
(Preview)
Last night I had this horrible dream that someone I know that I haven't seen in many years tried to rape me. When he was not able to get my clothes off he held me so I couldn't move in front of him. He got himself off my rubbing on my back and it was disgusting. I screamed which woke me up and woke up my bf. I told hi...
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buick23
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5
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417
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what attracted me to him in the first place?
(Preview)
I have been thinking about this question for a while now - What attracted me to him in the first place? I was in need of someone to listen, care, someone to enjoy spending time with which I wasn't getting at the time from the man I was with (we had been living eachother apart for years). Well the guy seemed in...
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buick23
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8
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577
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Tired of AH wetting the bed
(Preview)
Has anyone else had to deal with an AH wetting the bed when he drinks too much beer? My AH usually drinks at least 12 beers a day on the weekdays after work and 18 to 24 beers from Friday to Sunday. Almost every Friday or Saturday night he wets the bed. He used to only wet the bed on occasion (once or twice a y...
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harperd999
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10
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688
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:sun: after a difficult weekend
(Preview)
after a difficult weekend... Something positive to ponder in all of life's strife...These special words were originally from Audrey Hepburn, when asked about her beauty tips For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.For a slim figure, share yo...
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Suzannah
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1
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307
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Boundaries
(Preview)
I haven't posted here before and I am hoping to find some support. My husband is an A. I started putting up the boundaries last Sept. Since then he has left me and our two children (5 and 9) twice. All his doing, the aftermath of yet another binge. In Jan. he started anti depressents paxil, said th...
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bugs39
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5
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481
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Looking for Trouble or Does Trouble Find You?
(Preview)
I would say in my younger days, I may have gone looking for trouble, but didn't mean to. (age 19-20). I didn't know the consequences of my actions. However, once I settled down and married, I seem to feel that trouble comes looking for me. Hopefully, I can get that sign off my back, along with the o...
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wallsal55
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6
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401
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need to vent
(Preview)
I'm am getting more depressed every day over the last few days. My recovering bf has been acting very strange here lately. He's very quiet, does not talk to me much at all. When I say something he snaps at me. I feel like he hates me and I asked him if he does and he left. I just can't take it anymore. When I thin...
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buick23
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5
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365
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Thankful
(Preview)
I am so thankful today, even though I have struggles I know when / if I am involved in something unhealthy- I have the power to use my mind and make a decision to be involved or not. I noticed from reading another post about addictions that it is obvious our A's either don't have the "inner guidance&q...
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glad
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5
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368
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Eating at me....
(Preview)
Hello everyone....I have been reading and keeping up with the posts everyday, today I feel like I need a little support.... AH decided to "slow down" on his drinking, under his own power. I commend him for this and was (am) very proud of him. Lately though the demons seem to be creeping in...
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tma0413
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7
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407
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Taking back my power
(Preview)
Now that my life for once seems to be less on the holding on my fingernails variety, I am starting to see how I give away my power. When I can stop over reacting for one second, I can make choices as to how far to let someone in. I can stop going from being completely closed off to being engaged. Of course don...
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maresie
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7
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406
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new member
(Preview)
I am new here, I have read several of the topics lateley, but never posted anything. My husband is an alcoholic and it is eating me alive he has said that he will cut back, but I know he can't. The past month he has been trying to cut back, but I also know he is doing it behind my back, he works 3rd shift, so he w...
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cbu03
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1
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334
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My world has just blown up
(Preview)
OMG, my daughter just sent me copies of emails that my husband has been sending to her over the past few nights, late at night. He is out of town because he works far away 5 days a week and is working through the weekend this weekend. He is sending her one line love notes. The first year we were married he m...
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Minnehaha
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10
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463
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Do I belong here?
(Preview)
I never realized that I was in a family of alcoholics until recently.....and I'm still questioning my assumption that their alcoholics. Am I just making it up? Am I just looking for a reason to our problems? Drinking is such a normal part of our life that it's hard for me to see anything else. My grandfat...
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mlmb10
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5
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1755
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Ways I use the tools to work my own Program
(Preview)
I am ACoA so I was born into & raised with this disease. I think AcoA's have more trouble detaching, not projecting & learning to focus on self b/c from day one of life, we are asked subconsciously & subliminally by our family of origin to be a part of the emotional & dysfunctional sou...
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kitty
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3
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1078
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I think I need this place
(Preview)
I don't even know where to start, but I do know that I need to be able to finally tell someone what is going on. I feel like I am living in a secret war sometimes, but maybe that is being overly dramatic. In any case, part of my protecting my AH is keeping his secret. He is a doctor (as am I) and I don't want him...
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humeyayu
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6
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395
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acceptance is the key
(Preview)
I have this spiritual calendar and one of my pages was: "Why has the flower wilted? I pressed it to my heart with anxiety and love; this is why the flower has wilted." Source Rabindranath Tagore Thank goodness for this program and the gift of acceptance for me in so many aspects of my life. ...
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Maria123
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8
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582
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It's Been A While Since I Posted!!!
(Preview)
March was when I last posted, i went back and read all my posts, I haven't written, but I read here EVERYDAY! All you guys have really helped me alot. soooooooo many things have been going on in my life. Somethings that I'm not ready to talk about with anyone. Somedays I feel like I have made no progress, b...
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sisdragonfly1957
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1
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392
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My first Al - Anon meeting tomorrow
(Preview)
I am scared, but tomorrow morning I go to my first face to face meeting at 10:30am. It's called the "Women in Spirituality" group. This is perfect because it is really close to my apartment, and I can walk over. It is also an all women group, so I can better relate... I am scared, but I am goin...
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jaysbaby
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6
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503
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Inspirational -- A Dog's Purpose
(Preview)
> Read this one slowly and carefully, &learn its valuable lesson. > > ------------------------------- > > A Dog's Purpose > > Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish > Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and...
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irish54
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8
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691
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Thank You
(Preview)
I just wanted to say thank you for the online meetings and chats. I work odd hours (nights) and the one meeting locally is sorta falling apart. For that reason I rely on the online meetings and chat for support. Sometimes it's nice to just have a place to talk about how I feel to those who understand as p...
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ruthiez
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2
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368
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Is it just me and my aging eyes?
(Preview)
Does anyone else have trouble reading some of the posts that have very tiny fonts, or are colored lighter? I so enjoy reading over here, and although I haven't had much time to reply lately, I still read every chance I get. Our little Alanon group here in my home town has already gone bust as I was the only o...
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Tenderheartsks
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5
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456
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what can I do?
(Preview)
My husband is a very high functioning person, never violent, no DUI or anything like that, but he is secretive about drinking and is just plain stupid-seeming when he drinks. I always feel like I have been tricked by his drinking in secret, and it is repugnant to me. He was sober on his own for six month...
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Monikah
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5
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457
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Forgiveness = Doormat
(Preview)
If only AH was capable of understanding how much I have forgiven him. But I wonder, can I truly forgive him if he is not worthy? Or am I really forgiving him at all? Maybe I am simply allowing unacceptable behavior to continue under the guise of forgiveness. In my heart I know I have not forgiven many thing...
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RainyJamie
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10
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591
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Hope for today...
(Preview)
I was so taken by this one liner that I wanted to share it with you all. HOPE CAN BE IGNITED BY A SPARK OF ...
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Suzannah
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3
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327
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Snapped at ex-A; shoot me
(Preview)
Dear All, My car broke on saturday, fix now thank you HP, but had to drive ex as to work yesterday. He proceeded to stare at me while I was trying to reverse it, I have an automatic this is a stick shift so it took me a moment. I told him to **** off, of course now he is milking this, I just want him to move out, am si...
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maire rua
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4
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484
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Sick of being sick...
(Preview)
Too exhausted to do much right now, however, I am copying and pasting the email I sent to my pastoral team as my update on my doctors and hospital appointments this week; Dear All, Firstly I know that some of you will be going away now that school is out, however I am still simply reporting my situation as...
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Suzannah
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4
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547
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New to the forum...
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum and so glad to find it! I have been with my fiance for 3 years, and he is an alcoholic. The drunken epsidoes have progressed from just passing out or acting a fool, to major verbal abuse, and slight physical confrontation. My family is burned out on hearing about my proble...
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MidwestMom
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13
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572
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A Little Funny (non Al-Anon)
(Preview)
I received this in my email today and thought you all would enjoy something funny. The Marriage Proposal Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely wal...
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JenniferN
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1
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308
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The Past, The Present, The Future --- Living NOW
(Preview)
NOW is the only moment we have, and that's already gone.
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wallsal55
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4
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400
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I am so proud of ME today... Feeling empowered!
(Preview)
Hi everyone... just an update... My AH has started taking Seroquel for his Bipolar about 7 days now. He promised that he would stop drinking and drugging, and take his meds and stop the partying. He did not come home until 11:30pm lastnite. Please keep in mind, that he is disabled, and doesn't have a j...
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jaysbaby
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12
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739
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Loving Alanon
(Preview)
I just wanted to share how much I'm loving Alanon. I have been going for about 3 years and just recently started really getting involved and working a "good" program and it feels so good. I'm only on the first step but this time I get it. I'm understanding how it works. I don't get 2-12 yet but I'...
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Nicole
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5
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392
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wanting to change people (thinking I can!), even now...
(Preview)
Even though I feel like my program is pretty strong I still struggle with wanting certain people to act, behave and 'be" a certain way. I will most likely struggle with this a little all my life. At least now, I can step back and observe this behavior and make changes to correct it.
I know that when...
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Jean4444
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10
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458
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Q re Appearing impaired while not drinking
(Preview)
AH is in rehab and says he's not drinking but sometimes when I get home he seems kind of impaired, like his speech is off and very emotional and even a bit stumbly sometimes. He says in rehab they told him that this can happen as the body adjusts to being without alcohol but it triggers me so much because it...
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henryg
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8
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539
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Update
(Preview)
(((((Family)))), A very good morning to you all on this hot, humid and sticky Wednesday. I thought I would update you on a few things. First of all, hubby is hanging in there. The doctor started him on fluxomine which makes him extremely dizzy. This is normal. He can't do much as it takes alot out of...
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Karilynn
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4
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937
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Just venting..insecure today
(Preview)
Basically, this post is just to vent. I have been very insecure these last couple of days. Not sure why...could be because my bf slipped one day last week...could be pms...who really knows. I do ususally get weird around my pms days, so maybe that's what it is??? Anyways, here is my vent: the last...
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mslouise
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3
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380
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back home
(Preview)
Dear MIP family, I am back home after my brother's death. It was/is a very sad time for me. I loved my brother very much. We were the two oldest of six and grew up together and no matter where we were we always kept contact and knew that the bond we had as children was strong. My siblings who drink and who a...
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carosie
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8
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322
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drug of choice
(Preview)
Ok people, it's me again....I'm not sure if I have a question or just need to be heard. My husband is a recovering A but his new drug of choice is his adult daughter. We had about the millionth discussion about her and him last night. She treats him like cold leftovers, all the while thinking she is a gre...
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Minnehaha
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14
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385
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I had to start today over...
(Preview)
This morning I got up and started out with an old habit that I wish my brain would unlearn! I started going through my pity pot list. This was how my days started before alanon. It would start with my first waking moment. I would replay my list of gripes, resentments until I had a terrible attitude set...
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greta
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3
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612
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reducing enmeshment
(Preview)
6 months ago a friend of mine suggested I get rid of my dogs. He thought it was best I get rid of them because he knew what was better for me than I did. I became incredibly distraught and felt abandoned. 6 months later her emails me and suggests I give him my sisters address in case something happens to me. Ke...
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maresie
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2
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333
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Detachment - Can somebody explain?
(Preview)
Hi all, This is my first post. My father is an alcoholic. He drank so much that he has possibly given himself irreversible brain damage, in the form of short-term memory loss. He broke his hip last summer and was hospitalized for three months due to: 1. The Hip, 2. The bed sore, 3. And the DT...
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Flutterbye
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6
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570
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Triggers
(Preview)
As you all know I have significant issues with my roommates to say the least. I really want to make them all dysfunctional and me functional. The truth is that many many times I find it super hard to be civil and not be rude or not be absolutely exasperated. I'e been aware that my closest roomate (in proxi...
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maresie
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5
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327
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more stuff
(Preview)
tired today..a little bored..a little angry..a little lonely..a little hungry meeting this morning..therapy this afternoon...i think i'll see a movie tonight..or read a book i just feel a bit shot out at the moment one of those hump day wednesdays a guy in the meeting this morning spoke of his life....
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charlescharles
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2
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351
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I could wring someone's neck!! Off subject
(Preview)
I could wring someone's neck!!! Knowing, I suppose, that we love cats, some jerk has put a tiny kitten in our fenced back yard. I would guess her to be three to four weeks old. She looks healthy, but does have some fleas. I telephoned our county Humane Association, for whom I used to volunteer. They adver...
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Diva
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13
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739
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Just an update...
(Preview)
Just thought I'd give ya'll an update on the "situation" with my ex a b/f. As some may remember, after being apart for several months, my ex and I sorta rekindled a friendship. Well to make a long story short, it started to go a little too far. I had my guard up though (thankfully) and knew wh...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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8
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381
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will be gone for awhile
(Preview)
Today was my consult with thoracic surgeon for the lung nodules discovered in my cancer check-up in June. Things are moving way way too fast for me, but have to cope. Am scheduled for surgery on Monday morning. Will be in SCU for 24 hours and then in hospital for several days. This is ten times more up...
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joyoma
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14
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593
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Acting vs. Reacting (battle with hormones, mouth, & mind)
(Preview)
Acting....not reacting...THAT is my struggle since last night. He came home an hour and a half late from his meeting. He said he went to Shoney's with some people from the group. I never asked. I didn't REact. I ACTED. I did NOTHING. I said NOTHING. I wasn't being hateful, didn't project an attitude, an...
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JenniferN
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5
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2662
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Still Sailing with Capt Morgan
(Preview)
I've been posting before about my experience with my ex A who has been in my life. I know that I am going through the grieving process and right now I'm in the pissed off stage. Gawd am I pissed off. He sounds so happy in Florida and he's living his life and doing his own thing and I'm still dealing with the...
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Gared
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5
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579
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NEW BOOK!
(Preview)
I was in chat this week and a memebr in there had jsut returned from the Internaional confernence and was talking abouta new AlAnon book. I called WSO to get the ordering information. It is called Discovering CHoices The price is $15 and there is $7 shipping (up to abut $87 and then it is 8%. Iordered 6 a...
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afglin
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6
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302
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Question about "Just for Today"
(Preview)
I have a question on interpretation of parts of the Just for Today "pledge" or however you would define it. The first paragraph talks about not concerning yourself about solving your entire life's problems, but just handling today's situation, handling something that would "ap...
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Minnehaha
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4
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551
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more stuff
(Preview)
tired today..a little bored..a little angry..a little lonely..a little hungry meeting this morning..therapy this afternoon...i think i'll see a movie tonight..or read a book i just feel a bit shot out at the moment one of those hump day wednesdays a guy in the meeting this morning spoke of his life....
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charlescharles
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1
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265
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just need to vent
(Preview)
wokeup this morning with a sort of emotional hangover from the day before when i went to two meetings had conflict with my mate and generally..well..did some step work and talked to my higher power..i think i really just wore myself out yesterday one day at a time..i know..but maybe the spirits were di...
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charlescharles
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3
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470
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porn addiction
(Preview)
Does anyone know anything about this topic? I'm afraid a loved one of mine is getting into this crap. On their days off, all they do is look at this junk or play games on the other computer. I don't know how to approach this person or even what to say. I need help with this.
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TK
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4
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1322
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omg! Court Tomorrow
(Preview)
Tomorrow I have to go to court for the restraining order I filed against my AH, so I could at least have a little peace and quiet and get my stuff moved out of the house. Almost everything is moved, I just have a couple more things there, and as of tomorrow, I plan to stay at the apartment. I have not even stay...
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Becky1
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6
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372
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the war..
(Preview)
..seems to be on between my ex and my present girlfriend..i am staying out of it..i feel somewhat nuetral all though i guess my allegience...well..my allegience is to me...i feel like they can beat each other down any way they want..i need need need to stay out of it i am basically convinced it has nothi...
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charlescharles
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10
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455
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Happy A because Nasty A and threatened me tonight
(Preview)
My AH is always a happy drunk until tonight. He really frightened my daughter and me. He goes to play trivia at the bar on Tues nights which is over around 10 pm. He came home at 1 am and from what my daughter said, he sat down, lit a cig and passed out in the chair..........which is normal. So, I'm awaken a...
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angel66
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4
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558
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How do I help him?
(Preview)
I have shared with everyone about my sons Tramatic Brain Injury and my inability to know what is enabling and was is not. I am so confused at times and I cannot let it go. I cannot watch TV or do anything it seems but process and re-process decisions I need to make. In an effort to let go I am again posting and...
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MomGayle42
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5
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566
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