The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I put two resumes in recently and received two rejection notices. One job reopened. I hope that I will get an interview this time. I think that I am well qualified. The codependent in me has taken off. I have mentally interviewed, received a job offer I couldn't refuse mainly because it is for more money, mentally packed, purchased a trailer, given my two weeks notice, and mentally moved on to a wonderful new life. The biggest mental note is when I tell my AHSober (we are separated) that I am leaving our company that he and I both work for and moving. Of course, I just know my drastic decision will shake him up enough to have him reconsider the divorce. Now, this is so far all in my head.
In reality I have consider changing jobs because we do work at the same company. It is embarassing and awkward when people say they saw him or ask why he doesn't come back on weekends. I know many of us Alanoners deal with this. Work isn't a great situation. I try not to blame my co-workers for my unhappiness. I don't think I have a good attitude and don't know if I can regroup. If either my marriage or work was going well I think that the other would be tolerable.
So I walked around today visiting when I should be working. I have noticed that whether I go for this job opportunity or not, I have mentally checked out of this job. I was thinking that this is probably what my AHsober did a long time before he actually left. And this is probably why I have such a hard time connecting with him because he has been "gone" for awhile. So I guess I understand his point of view. It is hard having a relationship with someone who is not into it. There isn't much left. Hmmm, makes me think.
I once worked in the same company as my ex husband. That was tough going. When I divorced him I found it hard to say I had. He stayed on at the company and I left.
I'm looking for a job at the moment too. I find the job hunt pretty hard going. I get discouraged easily and go for the fail safe of what I know.
Today I had a call from a recruiter and I know I have to keep putting my resume out there.
I would much rather be a victim rather than take action. I know how to be a victim.
Sometimes we are blind to the obvious. Our problem solving skills get crippled so just to get out of the rut try some personal growth of some kind. It can be a miricle some times and it sounds like you need some. whether its a new job or whatever. Just sitting unhappy in a negative situation would cause anyone to not care...
If you find a better job great but if not and until then start going to the gym, join a social group, take a class, do something for personal growth....
Yup, you are making plans to change things and the outcome, the great expectation and actual reality always seems hard to me until I get to the end and see HP's wisdom of options and timing. For now, doing something different is bound to have a different outcome so way to go and keep the hope & action going.
"If either my marriage or work was going well I think that the other would be tolerable."
Thought popped into my mind when I read the above that perhaps neither marriage or work will go well when combined at the same place.
"Of course, I just know my drastic decision will shake him up enough to have him reconsider the divorce. "
Is this your goal or fantasy or just how our minds get going once we let them run thoughts automaticly - just confused on your intent so I don't know how to respond.
Best wishes & support to you!
hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
I know that indifference feeling at work. After 9 years with this company, I feel like I have been taken for granted. I also feel like I have gone as far as I can in this job. I'm bored. Where's the new challenge of learning something new? When I get bored I check out. I can always find something to do to keep busy. But I am incredibly bored by it.
This week they cut my hours way below full time, and I am in danger of losing my benefits. I talked to the manager last week and he said it was a mistake. He would make sure that he gave me extra hours this week so that it wouldn't happen. I come to find out that because we are way over budget that it wasn't going to happen. Why not just tell me the truth?
Rather than make a huge fuss I have decided to use this time to reorganize my things here. I am still putting out my resumes. We all know how hard it is right now with this economy. So I am trying to think outside the box. If nothing comes of it then I have no choice but to make it work at work. I'm going to need all of my Alanon tools. Constantly getting those rejection notices can be hard. I have to keep trying. I also remind myself that there are a lot more people applying for jobs who normally wouldn't be. It may not be that they don't want me. It may be that the quality of applicants is so high that they are hiring people they normally would consider over-qualified. We just have to keep on plugging. Good luck to you and all of us who are searching for that next job. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
things are tough at the moment so don't be too hard on yourself, I know the mental movement bit into the job with the body on the seat, its hard at times
