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I don't want to celebrate!
(Preview)
My birthday is on Thurs, and as I have shared before, I don't really like birthdays. Of course, I like to be acknowledged, but absolutley do not enjoy being in the limelight. Well, my 2 older kids will both be gone on Thurs, my son at Boy Scout Camp and my daughter on vacation with my sister. I will just be ho...
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Loupiness
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13
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708
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How do I always end up being blamed....?
(Preview)
I am SO ANGRY! My oldest son has been talking with my A son with TBI. The A son is angry because I spoke with the extended family that A son has moved in with. They called me but that is besides the point, I had planned on calling them. And YES I explained the brain injury and A sons self distructive behavior....
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MomGayle42
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11
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461
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What's wrong with my thinking?
(Preview)
I put two resumes in recently and received two rejection notices. One job reopened. I hope that I will get an interview this time. I think that I am well qualified. The codependent in me has taken off. I have mentally interviewed, received a job offer I couldn't refuse mainly because it is for more money...
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nmike
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5
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610
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Thought About Leaving
(Preview)
I'm begining to hate Tuesday's. Last Tuesday he came home 2 1/2 hours after the meeting had let out. I had dinner prepared and sitting on the stove. No phone call. Nothing. Last night same thing except for the dinner being made. I had no clue as to where he was, IF he was ok, if the truck had broken down, ect....
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JenniferN
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6
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363
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A newbie and a question for you
(Preview)
Hi, I'm Partlycloudy. I'm a recovering alcoholic with 3 years' continuous sobriety and recently my grown step daughter moved in with us after she abruptly left rehab for her addiction to painkillers. She was indigent; her drug-dealer husband who had a domestic violence warrant out against him f...
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partlycloudy1
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11
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476
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Ultimatum or boundary ??
(Preview)
Thanks to all your support. I have realized that I have reached my bottom. My AH is due home from a trip in 3 hours. I have prepared a heartfelt letter. I have left the choice up to him. If he chooses to join me along my journey it must be with acceptance, love, a recovery plan and ongoing sobriety. If...
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bugs39
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11
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509
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rescue and rescuing
(Preview)
I need to bring some thing up and hope I do not offend anyone here. I just have noticed that it seems that many folks here are into rescuing animals and wonder what the connection is (if any) between rescuing animals and wanting to be rescued...just a thought- don't go ballistic on me please!! Hugs, J.
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Jean4444
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7
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530
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It got worse
(Preview)
when DH (or whatever) got home. He did come to me to try and finish our "discussion" from last night. What he told me was stunning to me. He does not understand in any way shape or form why I want him to stop drinking, and furthermore he wants to know when I became such a damn teetotaler. The i...
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mm18123
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12
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414
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Al-Anon's new book
(Preview)
Al-Anon released a new book recently titled "Discovering Choices". I haven't read the entire thing yet but what I have read is very good. I can see using each personal story as the basis for a meeting in the near future. Sometimes it's difficult to come up with a new subject for meetings a...
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Mobirdie
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5
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434
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hello
(Preview)
haven't been here for a while since last we talked my girlfriend...who has been sober now for almst a week...thank god...got kicked out of her fathers place...shes thirty seven and still lives with him..relies on him..etc well..he kicked her out..once again...the man is a bit nuts and his daughter...
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charlescharles
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8
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443
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Is it "love" or my codependency?
(Preview)
I went to a f2f meeting over the weekend and....as I was listening, a powerful thing came over me. Numerous shares were about how (they) were staying with their A because they "love them so much." It occurred to me, that I stayed with my A for 26 years....in a crazy, painful relationshi...
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glad lee
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7
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532
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REFLECTIONS
(Preview)
(((((Family))))) Today (7-14-08) has been a day of reflections for me, as it is my 35th wedding anniversary. I have decided that I should make a list of things I am thankful for. 1. I am truly thankful for a husband that loves me. 2. I am thankful for the beautiful daughter we have. 3. I am thankful for my ho...
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cookie1971
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6
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395
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New T.V. Show, "The Cleaner"
(Preview)
starring Benjamin Bratt... did anyone besides myself see this show on A & E lastnite? What did you think? I thought it was great... Ben plays a recovered addict, who is now a bounty hunter looking for drug, alcohol and gambling addicts... He has a team who helps him hunt down these addicts one by one...
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jaysbaby
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4
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432
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Dealing with triggers
(Preview)
One of my triggers is competition. One of my roommates I have realised is quite competitive with me over space, resources and other things. I find myself constantly butting up against him. I am not sure why since I go out of my way to avoid him. Last night I was washing my dished and he started hovering...
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maresie
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1
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255
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Wherever you go, there you are
(Preview)
Hey y'all,
I'm writing from the beach. I'm on vacation with my clean and sober A (but not practicing a program), and my two young kids. It's a beautiful place with an ocean view and a pool and a tikki bar. What more could I want?
Just feeling a little unsettled here. Overwhlemed w/o the structure of home...
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itsgot2bgd
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5
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520
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Happy Birthday Norwood :)
(Preview)
((((((((((Paul))))))))))))))))), Just wanted to say happy birthday to you. Hehe I am posting this on the 1st, but I did not forget your birthday is on the 2nd. Hope you have a great experience at the conference. Thanks for being you, and please don't eat anything bigger than your head. See you in the ro...
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Mandy123
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11
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552
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A strange revelation
(Preview)
I was driving down the road the other day thinking about my life choices and how I like things to be slightly chaotic and unpredictable and how I was drawn to that for so long and then something hit me. I was thinking about the A - he was a binge drinker - he was mostly reliable but a few times a year there wou...
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carolinagirl
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10
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544
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needing to vent
(Preview)
So, it's 6 in the morning and I have not had much sleep, because I have been up all night thinking about how I am so mad at my ah and myself. I am new to this program, and I am so frustrated. He has always drank in our garage, he would start from the minute he got off work to the minute he went to bed, leaving me in...
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cbu03
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5
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299
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blame and responsibility
(Preview)
you've heard the saying that 2 wrongs don't make a right...my partner and I have been fighting. Both of us have said and done things that we shouldn't have. I can't help feeling like I caused some of her actions because of my mouth. At the same time, I'm angry at what she did. The last few days all I have want...
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seekingserenity
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4
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314
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Are we dead?
(Preview)
"Are we dead?" is what my abf asked me last night while we were sitting at the table just staring at eachother for lack of something to say. I made a list of boundaries yesterday while he was at his 2nd group meeting which I presented to him when he got home. He told me he "understood&quo...
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liljeannie
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6
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493
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Will she ever be happy again?
(Preview)
How long does it take to be happy again after recovery? My daughter is doing well and working the program but she is really unhappy. She is committed to staying sober but cries a lot because she feels like she is faking her way through the day. She is hoping as she moves through the steps, this will come, bu...
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hopeful332
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6
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970
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Hanging in there!
(Preview)
I am hanging in there! I feel kinda stressed today and the last week or so. But... my A has quit smoking for almost two weeks. He quit smoking before for 4 years. I am trying so hard to support him. I just get a little bit self-centered and forget to praise him and help him on his journey. I guess I am stil...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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423
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My first Al- Anon meeting
(Preview)
Hi everyone... I finally attended my first meeting over the weekend.. It was fantastic! It was an all women's group, and about 30 females attended. I told my story, and I listened to several other stories. I can't believe how many people are experiencing the same issues that I am. It's amazing how mu...
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jaysbaby
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5
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379
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Finding life so loud, I'm worried I can't hear God's plan for me...
(Preview)
There are too many details to get out right now. The biggest thing is I am trying to transition my baby to daycare, so I can go back to work. She doesn't take milk from a bottle...at all...at present and so it is really upsetting. I am only using the daycare right now when I have interviews. I had one tod...
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Leetle
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6
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593
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So I said to my HP...not now please!!
(Preview)
Aloha Ohana (family)!! It's been along time since I learned that thru all of the crises and chaos in my life my HP never left. I found out what that feeling behind me was when I stopped running around nuts and stood still. That gentle bump at my back was my HP gently rear ending me because my HP was follow...
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Jerry F
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10
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602
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Ok God (of my understanding) - over to you...
(Preview)
Not sure that my daughter is listening to my grand-daughter, think she is too screwed up to really hear her daughter so, after a prayerful time I am handing it over to you God (HP) as I can do no more. In the meantime, talk to me God and tell me how to proceed; just make sure I understand the instructions. Aft...
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Suzannah
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3
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436
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A good day
(Preview)
Yesterday was a good day. We had some "small talk" (he's very quiet nowdays), we were both nice to eachother, there were no arguments, I did not feel angry at him all day, he did not complain that there wasn't much to eat for dinner or that I didn't cook anything, I felt like he actually liked th...
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buick23
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6
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313
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This may make you cry
(Preview)
I hope it's ok to post something like this. I hope no one finds it offensive, just change the words of the song to "I know my Higher Power Lives" It just kind of made my day, my problems are really small.http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8cf08faca5dd9ea45513
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Martina57
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0
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328
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Anyone else just chosen to enable???
(Preview)
I know this is so wrong, but it's so much easier. Am I the only one? After 29 years of marriage to an active AH I have simply decided that he can just do what he wants. I supply the alcohol (it gets me out of the house), he drinks it, I go about my business as I please (he questions nothing that I do, not that I do a...
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Martina57
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16
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481
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stuck on the merry go round
(Preview)
Hello, This is my first post, though it shouldnt be. I have quietly been reading posts for about a year now, and finally got up the strength to post for myself. My story is not so different than anyone else's. The only thing that makes it unique is that it is mine. I have been with an active A for over six y...
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liljeannie
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6
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342
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new member hurting so bad
(Preview)
Hello everyone, this is my first post here and well I just came across this websight and thought i would give it a try. Hmm where to start, where to start... First off I have been married for 5 years to an alcoholic and well went into the marriage knowing he drank alot, not that he had a problem. See my husban...
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princessloretta
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12
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551
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Self harm...thirteen year old grand-daughter...for pity's sake...what can I do...
(Preview)
Family, Just received a disturbing telephone call from my daughter. My middle grand-daughter has been seen by the school nurse as she sprained her ankle today and whilst being strapped up, the nurse noticed blood on my GD arm. When she investigated further she found that the sweet child had carved...
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Suzannah
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8
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614
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I would appriciate some opinions....
(Preview)
I have written and shared about my son that suffered the traumatic brain injury last year. He has resently lost a job and had a set back... Depression something. Maybe I'm making excuse. Bottom line he has been homeless so went back to our home town, hooked up with some buddies and has been on a drinking b...
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MomGayle42
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7
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519
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new here...
(Preview)
I have wanted to get on a message board for support like this for a long time...I tried another board last week and unfortunately never got a response from anyone- bummer...so now I found this one and it looks like a more active board so I hope I've found the place. My husband of almost 8 years is an alcoh...
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Chase
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5
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410
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Meeting my needs
(Preview)
As you all know I am isolated, financialy poor, emotionally poor, living in a tiny tiny space, surrounded by dysfunctional people, living pretty marginally. In the past I've always looked for rescue. These days I am trying to really listen when I meet people to see if they can meet my needs. That means...
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maresie
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5
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332
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wondering if i should attend/belong at a meeting
(Preview)
hi. i've begun considering going to an al-anon meeting, and seeing if it applies to my situation... so maybe i can get some feedback here too. i'm 24. almost a year ago, i met a recovering alcoholic/addict. he's very open about these things. we became friends, and within about 2 months we were dati...
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luna starla
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9
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1064
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Nothing but pain
(Preview)
I am new here. I so wish I didn't have to be here. I actually posted on another board back in April because I wasn't sure my DH was an AH. I was assured that he was. We've been married 16 years and have two young children. He drank when we first married - weekends only, never to get drunk. I'd have a coupl...
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mm18123
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4
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486
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horrible dream
(Preview)
Last night I had this horrible dream that someone I know that I haven't seen in many years tried to rape me. When he was not able to get my clothes off he held me so I couldn't move in front of him. He got himself off my rubbing on my back and it was disgusting. I screamed which woke me up and woke up my bf. I told hi...
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buick23
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5
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411
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what attracted me to him in the first place?
(Preview)
I have been thinking about this question for a while now - What attracted me to him in the first place? I was in need of someone to listen, care, someone to enjoy spending time with which I wasn't getting at the time from the man I was with (we had been living eachother apart for years). Well the guy seemed in...
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buick23
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8
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568
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Tired of AH wetting the bed
(Preview)
Has anyone else had to deal with an AH wetting the bed when he drinks too much beer? My AH usually drinks at least 12 beers a day on the weekdays after work and 18 to 24 beers from Friday to Sunday. Almost every Friday or Saturday night he wets the bed. He used to only wet the bed on occasion (once or twice a y...
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harperd999
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10
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682
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:sun: after a difficult weekend
(Preview)
after a difficult weekend... Something positive to ponder in all of life's strife...These special words were originally from Audrey Hepburn, when asked about her beauty tips For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.For a slim figure, share yo...
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Suzannah
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1
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302
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Boundaries
(Preview)
I haven't posted here before and I am hoping to find some support. My husband is an A. I started putting up the boundaries last Sept. Since then he has left me and our two children (5 and 9) twice. All his doing, the aftermath of yet another binge. In Jan. he started anti depressents paxil, said th...
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bugs39
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5
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473
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Looking for Trouble or Does Trouble Find You?
(Preview)
I would say in my younger days, I may have gone looking for trouble, but didn't mean to. (age 19-20). I didn't know the consequences of my actions. However, once I settled down and married, I seem to feel that trouble comes looking for me. Hopefully, I can get that sign off my back, along with the o...
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wallsal55
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6
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394
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need to vent
(Preview)
I'm am getting more depressed every day over the last few days. My recovering bf has been acting very strange here lately. He's very quiet, does not talk to me much at all. When I say something he snaps at me. I feel like he hates me and I asked him if he does and he left. I just can't take it anymore. When I thin...
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buick23
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5
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358
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Thankful
(Preview)
I am so thankful today, even though I have struggles I know when / if I am involved in something unhealthy- I have the power to use my mind and make a decision to be involved or not. I noticed from reading another post about addictions that it is obvious our A's either don't have the "inner guidance&q...
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glad
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5
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361
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Eating at me....
(Preview)
Hello everyone....I have been reading and keeping up with the posts everyday, today I feel like I need a little support.... AH decided to "slow down" on his drinking, under his own power. I commend him for this and was (am) very proud of him. Lately though the demons seem to be creeping in...
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tma0413
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7
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400
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Taking back my power
(Preview)
Now that my life for once seems to be less on the holding on my fingernails variety, I am starting to see how I give away my power. When I can stop over reacting for one second, I can make choices as to how far to let someone in. I can stop going from being completely closed off to being engaged. Of course don...
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maresie
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7
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400
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new member
(Preview)
I am new here, I have read several of the topics lateley, but never posted anything. My husband is an alcoholic and it is eating me alive he has said that he will cut back, but I know he can't. The past month he has been trying to cut back, but I also know he is doing it behind my back, he works 3rd shift, so he w...
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cbu03
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1
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327
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My world has just blown up
(Preview)
OMG, my daughter just sent me copies of emails that my husband has been sending to her over the past few nights, late at night. He is out of town because he works far away 5 days a week and is working through the weekend this weekend. He is sending her one line love notes. The first year we were married he m...
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Minnehaha
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10
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456
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Do I belong here?
(Preview)
I never realized that I was in a family of alcoholics until recently.....and I'm still questioning my assumption that their alcoholics. Am I just making it up? Am I just looking for a reason to our problems? Drinking is such a normal part of our life that it's hard for me to see anything else. My grandfat...
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mlmb10
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5
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1748
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Ways I use the tools to work my own Program
(Preview)
I am ACoA so I was born into & raised with this disease. I think AcoA's have more trouble detaching, not projecting & learning to focus on self b/c from day one of life, we are asked subconsciously & subliminally by our family of origin to be a part of the emotional & dysfunctional sou...
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kitty
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3
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1070
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I think I need this place
(Preview)
I don't even know where to start, but I do know that I need to be able to finally tell someone what is going on. I feel like I am living in a secret war sometimes, but maybe that is being overly dramatic. In any case, part of my protecting my AH is keeping his secret. He is a doctor (as am I) and I don't want him...
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humeyayu
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6
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385
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acceptance is the key
(Preview)
I have this spiritual calendar and one of my pages was: "Why has the flower wilted? I pressed it to my heart with anxiety and love; this is why the flower has wilted." Source Rabindranath Tagore Thank goodness for this program and the gift of acceptance for me in so many aspects of my life. ...
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Maria123
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8
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575
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It's Been A While Since I Posted!!!
(Preview)
March was when I last posted, i went back and read all my posts, I haven't written, but I read here EVERYDAY! All you guys have really helped me alot. soooooooo many things have been going on in my life. Somethings that I'm not ready to talk about with anyone. Somedays I feel like I have made no progress, b...
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sisdragonfly1957
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1
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386
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My first Al - Anon meeting tomorrow
(Preview)
I am scared, but tomorrow morning I go to my first face to face meeting at 10:30am. It's called the "Women in Spirituality" group. This is perfect because it is really close to my apartment, and I can walk over. It is also an all women group, so I can better relate... I am scared, but I am goin...
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jaysbaby
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6
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496
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Inspirational -- A Dog's Purpose
(Preview)
> Read this one slowly and carefully, &learn its valuable lesson. > > ------------------------------- > > A Dog's Purpose > > Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish > Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and...
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irish54
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8
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683
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Thank You
(Preview)
I just wanted to say thank you for the online meetings and chats. I work odd hours (nights) and the one meeting locally is sorta falling apart. For that reason I rely on the online meetings and chat for support. Sometimes it's nice to just have a place to talk about how I feel to those who understand as p...
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ruthiez
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2
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364
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Is it just me and my aging eyes?
(Preview)
Does anyone else have trouble reading some of the posts that have very tiny fonts, or are colored lighter? I so enjoy reading over here, and although I haven't had much time to reply lately, I still read every chance I get. Our little Alanon group here in my home town has already gone bust as I was the only o...
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Tenderheartsks
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5
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449
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what can I do?
(Preview)
My husband is a very high functioning person, never violent, no DUI or anything like that, but he is secretive about drinking and is just plain stupid-seeming when he drinks. I always feel like I have been tricked by his drinking in secret, and it is repugnant to me. He was sober on his own for six month...
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Monikah
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5
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450
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Forgiveness = Doormat
(Preview)
If only AH was capable of understanding how much I have forgiven him. But I wonder, can I truly forgive him if he is not worthy? Or am I really forgiving him at all? Maybe I am simply allowing unacceptable behavior to continue under the guise of forgiveness. In my heart I know I have not forgiven many thing...
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RainyJamie
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10
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585
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