Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Now that I am living separately from my AH and over the grief and the ripping apart from the sickly familiar, I have really grown to enjoy not being in a relationship with an alcoholic and I am still amazed how blind I was to who he is. It's been almost a month and I am proud of myself and there is no feeling of...

jaysbaby · jaysbaby

Hi everyone...just to give you an update on my rollercoaster life with my alcoholic husband... as a last resort, he went on his own to see a new psychiatrist last week. My husband has a 10 year history of substance abuse (cocaine, beer)... In the last year, he has been diagnosed with bipolar and hypoma...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi everyone... Like many others on here, I am a huge fan of the book series "Getting Them Sober" (particularly volume one), written by Toby Rice Drews. This book is said to be one of THE best resources for those living around active alcoholism. I recently purchased a large quantity of th...

kitty · kitty

My bff came over yesterday & his job is in jeopardy. For the last 3 months there has been this consultant at his work place observing. Now the hammer has come down. BFF got fired from his last job. His friend got him hired at this place. His friend sounds to me like if he's an addict/alcoholic. If he i...

Becky1 · Becky1

I got an apartment, after years of living in an abusive A situation with my husband of almost 8 years. We've been together 11, and then some. He's been yelling he wanted a divorce for years. I withdrew $$$ from my 401K to get a new car after I totaled my other one. I got an apartment, I paid to have all my s...

desperate for help · desperate for help

I think I have taken all I can take. I just honestly do not care anymore. He can drink as much as he wants. I no longer say anything, don't care. He's the one to act like the idiot. He's the one people hate being around. He's the one that looks like a fool. I am tired of covering up for him. I just don't c...

david62 · david62

Howdy yall, Got this in an email today and thought I would share it with everyone. Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his bra...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...this can sometimes appear to be very slow or even miniscule until one is further along the journey. On looking back to last October, when I first came here as Heartbroken and indeed was heartbroken, now I can see my progress. It is the one step at a time attitude that has brought me thus far; this famil...

Gailey · Gailey

We just purchased a beach home in Bethany Beach, DE this year. I have really been trying to enjoy my summer there. My husband talked me into this particular house that needs cosmetic work. He has always been very handy around the house. I did not want this house because he has been showing signs of depres...

Loupiness · Loupiness

In my detachment from my soon-to-be-ex sober AH, I have learned to just stay silent and walk away when he says something unpleasant. I have now decided that this doesn't always work for me, as it makes me feel resentful and inferior, just adds to my list of "things unsaid". I worked my tail of...

Maria123 · Maria123

The present, the here, the now, that's all the life I get, I live each moment in full, in kindness, in peace, without regret. ~ Chade Meng. Now that's what I am talking about A simple reminder that all I have is now. What am I going to do with the now? So much ESH in this one little sentence makes me gratefu...

kissers · kissers

A lesson I learned recently---"Sometimes bad things happen for good reasons". I have been increasing my boundaries with certain people. I was working at a job where there was a lot of drug activity and pornography. One of my colleagues who is on drugs doesn't understand people's person...

roxygirl · roxygirl

My son is 24 yrs. old and he is an alcoholic! I keep falling for it, keep thinking this is it, he's finally serious and has changed even though he hasn't stopped drinking or gone to AA meetings! I keep thinking he's tired of living at friends houses, partying, never having money and being unstable!! W...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((((((Family of choice )))))))))) I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. My son is home from surgery (thought i should clairfy that ) and doing well . I am grateful that I am able to stay home at least for the weekend and be his nurse. Thank you all again!!!!! Yours in Rec...

debilyn · debilyn

AH's phone number says you are connected, but they are not taking calls. She is very ill,cancer. So is she dieing, if so I don't want to lose track of AH only for business reasons. OR he is very ill and dieing,and I need to know this. Business reasons again.Also becuz I care very much. so do i just go knock on...

joyoma · joyoma

I have hours and nanoseconds where I think: I simply cannot deal with life as I now have it. I cannot stand it. Then something kicks in and I realize, short of being self-destructive, I have no choice but to stand it. News like I have recently had following my surgery....sarcoma of the lung....is dev...

mo14 · mo14

Hi all Well it has come to this after alot of soul searching...I am moving out next Friday and will be on my own with my three small kids. I tried everything I begged I pleaded and I finally realized i cannot control my A the only person I have control over is myself. I pray someway we can mend the road we hav...

charlescharles · charlescharles

good to be back home again..spent the day at the beach with a friend and his family hit up the ocean..nice my girl called from detroit..she was high..drunk..whatever..felt the nasty energy..phone call was quick don't need her calling whem shes high...or for that matter ever someone said i don't per...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just a quick check up..feeling a bit out of sorts..my a went away for the weekend..hurah..i think she will be back on monday..i say good riddence to her right now this is how i feel hung out with my friend today but was reminded about people from my past and even giving myself away my co dependent nature.....

JenniferN · JenniferN

I want to sincerely thank all of you who shared your esh in my earlier post. I have clamed down and thought about all of it and read the replies a couple of times now and realize that I had a "relapse" I will turn my focus back to ME and MY recovery where it belongs and dive into some CAL. again, than...

maire rua · maire rua

Thanks Jean4444 for your post the other day, it made me think. I will alway rescue animals but have pulled out of two situations in the last 24 hours that I would not have done so had I not read and absorbed the post. The first was when dealing with someone who did not realise my business worth and was minim...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Honey, I'm home! As some of you may already know, my A hubby works offshore and is home for 7 and at work for 7. The light at the end of the tunnel for me for the last 10 years has been that his 7 days home won't be long and he'll be gone soon. In the beginning, I would look forward to his returning home. Soon af...

shadow1 · shadow1

(((((((((((Everyone))))))))) My oldest son Kyle is having surgery tomorrow, (Friday) and I would appreciate it if you could please add him to your prayers. Its not major but it is still surgery. Thanks Shad

RLC · RLC

Hello All, I have always taken a little pride (not always a good thing) in the fact that I have "NEVER" been late to one of our Al-Anon meetings, and I go twice a week for the past two years. Sometimes members will drag in 5 minutes or so late, not me I'm always there 15 or 20 minutes early to...

AJ · AJ

It's been 8 weeks since my AH and I separated. I've been attending f2f Al-Anon meetings since - wonderful stuff there, and posting here - what a blessing! Today's brief visit with my AH went okay. He wasn't drunk during our visit. I could still smell the alcohol on his breath from last night's binge. My...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I've been wondering lately where that fine line between detachment with love and taking care of someone you love lies. I know not to take care of things he can obviously do on his own: like getting up in the morning, cooking, making appointments things like that. But I guess I'm having difficulty with t...

Totally Heartbroken · Totally Heartbroken

My AH was doing pretty good for the last several months.I noticed he was sneaking drinks again here and there but it wasn't bad.Then I went away to camp for a week and came home to a nightmare. He is in full blown again.I talked to a good friend of his who is suggesting an intervention. Here is where it gets c...

Christy · Christy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUPINESS!!! I know we're not to give advice, let alone an order but...... You have a wonderful day!! That's an order!!!! Christy

Suzannah · Suzannah

...if that is the case then I need to make sure that my humility is true humility and not false humility. Being in control of my attitude means, for me at least, knowing what is in my mind and in my heart. My behaviour is what reveals my attitude for it shows what is in my mind and in my heart. That being the ca...

partlycloudy1 · partlycloudy1

Which was preceded by my first ever chat on the Alanon forum. What can I say? It all feels like I put on a new pair of shoes and I'm Cinderella, that's what. It fits like a dream. It's comfortable, it's comforting, and best of all, I was on the cusp before the meeting of the relief that was swift in coming...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Where I live, a law has recently been passed that cell phones must be hands-free when you are driving. I find it silly only in that dialing and texting are still okay. Huh? Anyhow, I lost my bluetooth device (that I had since Dec) about a week after the law came into effect and I haven't bought a new one ye...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I have been going out on dates. Recently I met three men, one an alcoholic in recovery (he has long term recovery), the others two different men. Guess who I feel most comfortable with? The recovering alcohoic has numerous red flags, smokes (I am asthmatic and really allergic to smoke...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Interesting... just 5 years ago I would have said that alcoholism or alcohol in general, had no impact on my life. Now, even though I am not engulfed in the active part of it, I feel surrounded. My brother is also an A in my life. Just a few years ago, he had a wonderful intact family. Now my sis-in-law is s...

angel123 · angel123

Sounds of the wild Consumes me Able to hear there whisper There calling There protection of there home Even a pea cock calling Sounding like a women calling for HELP !HELP! A wood pecker going at a tree To find his feed Robins bob bob bobbing along The surface of the ground I walk on to find there feed I once...

MayDay · MayDay

Hello everyone- I was looking over the other posts as I was debating (and have been for several months) whether to even join as a member, let alone post anything. I definitely found that I share all to well similar feelings. I come from a home where my mother was addicted to pain killers my entire life (st...

joyoma · joyoma

My surgery went without a hitch on Monday. By Tuesday I was up walking and by that afternoon had my chest tube removed. I came home today. So all went well...except that the nodule on my lung was indeed a malignant sarcoma. It was a mestasis from the primary leg tumor of last year. The standard treatme...

SmallSteps · SmallSteps

After going to a meeting, doing a little reading, taking inventory of my past relationships, and getting a few drunken phone calls this week, I think I'm ready to admit that the people I'm having trouble with currently are in fact alcoholics. I've also realized that all but one of the people I've been i...

maresie · maresie

One of my dogs is ill. She has a bad rash. She's had the rash on and off for years. So this week I have to go all out to help with the rash, get creams, bathe her, wash everything. She's had the rash on and off for years. I've had to give up trying to find what the cause is. I don't know. The rash gets better and it g...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My birthday is on Thurs, and as I have shared before, I don't really like birthdays. Of course, I like to be acknowledged, but absolutley do not enjoy being in the limelight. Well, my 2 older kids will both be gone on Thurs, my son at Boy Scout Camp and my daughter on vacation with my sister. I will just be ho...

MomGayle42 · MomGayle42

I am SO ANGRY! My oldest son has been talking with my A son with TBI. The A son is angry because I spoke with the extended family that A son has moved in with. They called me but that is besides the point, I had planned on calling them. And YES I explained the brain injury and A sons self distructive behavior....

nmike · nmike

I put two resumes in recently and received two rejection notices. One job reopened. I hope that I will get an interview this time. I think that I am well qualified. The codependent in me has taken off. I have mentally interviewed, received a job offer I couldn't refuse mainly because it is for more money...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I'm begining to hate Tuesday's. Last Tuesday he came home 2 1/2 hours after the meeting had let out. I had dinner prepared and sitting on the stove. No phone call. Nothing. Last night same thing except for the dinner being made. I had no clue as to where he was, IF he was ok, if the truck had broken down, ect....

partlycloudy1 · partlycloudy1

Hi, I'm Partlycloudy. I'm a recovering alcoholic with 3 years' continuous sobriety and recently my grown step daughter moved in with us after she abruptly left rehab for her addiction to painkillers. She was indigent; her drug-dealer husband who had a domestic violence warrant out against him f...

bugs39 · bugs39

Thanks to all your support. I have realized that I have reached my bottom. My AH is due home from a trip in 3 hours. I have prepared a heartfelt letter. I have left the choice up to him. If he chooses to join me along my journey it must be with acceptance, love, a recovery plan and ongoing sobriety. If...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I need to bring some thing up and hope I do not offend anyone here. I just have noticed that it seems that many folks here are into rescuing animals and wonder what the connection is (if any) between rescuing animals and wanting to be rescued...just a thought- don't go ballistic on me please!! Hugs, J.

mm18123 · mm18123

when DH (or whatever) got home. He did come to me to try and finish our "discussion" from last night. What he told me was stunning to me. He does not understand in any way shape or form why I want him to stop drinking, and furthermore he wants to know when I became such a damn teetotaler. The i...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

Al-Anon released a new book recently titled "Discovering Choices". I haven't read the entire thing yet but what I have read is very good. I can see using each personal story as the basis for a meeting in the near future. Sometimes it's difficult to come up with a new subject for meetings a...

charlescharles · charlescharles

haven't been here for a while since last we talked my girlfriend...who has been sober now for almst a week...thank god...got kicked out of her fathers place...shes thirty seven and still lives with him..relies on him..etc well..he kicked her out..once again...the man is a bit nuts and his daughter...

glad lee · glad lee

I went to a f2f meeting over the weekend and....as I was listening, a powerful thing came over me. Numerous shares were about how (they) were staying with their A because they "love them so much." It occurred to me, that I stayed with my A for 26 years....in a crazy, painful relationshi...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((((Family))))) Today (7-14-08) has been a day of reflections for me, as it is my 35th wedding anniversary. I have decided that I should make a list of things I am thankful for. 1. I am truly thankful for a husband that loves me. 2. I am thankful for the beautiful daughter we have. 3. I am thankful for my ho...

jaysbaby · jaysbaby

starring Benjamin Bratt... did anyone besides myself see this show on A & E lastnite? What did you think? I thought it was great... Ben plays a recovered addict, who is now a bounty hunter looking for drug, alcohol and gambling addicts... He has a team who helps him hunt down these addicts one by one...

maresie · maresie

One of my triggers is competition. One of my roommates I have realised is quite competitive with me over space, resources and other things. I find myself constantly butting up against him. I am not sure why since I go out of my way to avoid him. Last night I was washing my dished and he started hovering...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hey y'all, I'm writing from the beach. I'm on vacation with my clean and sober A (but not practicing a program), and my two young kids. It's a beautiful place with an ocean view and a pool and a tikki bar. What more could I want? Just feeling a little unsettled here. Overwhlemed w/o the structure of home...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

((((((((((Paul))))))))))))))))), Just wanted to say happy birthday to you. Hehe I am posting this on the 1st, but I did not forget your birthday is on the 2nd. Hope you have a great experience at the conference. Thanks for being you, and please don't eat anything bigger than your head. See you in the ro...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was driving down the road the other day thinking about my life choices and how I like things to be slightly chaotic and unpredictable and how I was drawn to that for so long and then something hit me. I was thinking about the A - he was a binge drinker - he was mostly reliable but a few times a year there wou...

cbu03 · cbu03

So, it's 6 in the morning and I have not had much sleep, because I have been up all night thinking about how I am so mad at my ah and myself. I am new to this program, and I am so frustrated. He has always drank in our garage, he would start from the minute he got off work to the minute he went to bed, leaving me in...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

you've heard the saying that 2 wrongs don't make a right...my partner and I have been fighting. Both of us have said and done things that we shouldn't have. I can't help feeling like I caused some of her actions because of my mouth. At the same time, I'm angry at what she did. The last few days all I have want...

liljeannie · liljeannie

"Are we dead?" is what my abf asked me last night while we were sitting at the table just staring at eachother for lack of something to say. I made a list of boundaries yesterday while he was at his 2nd group meeting which I presented to him when he got home. He told me he "understood&quo...

hopeful332 · hopeful332

How long does it take to be happy again after recovery? My daughter is doing well and working the program but she is really unhappy. She is committed to staying sober but cries a lot because she feels like she is faking her way through the day. She is hoping as she moves through the steps, this will come, bu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am hanging in there! I feel kinda stressed today and the last week or so. But... my A has quit smoking for almost two weeks. He quit smoking before for 4 years. I am trying so hard to support him. I just get a little bit self-centered and forget to praise him and help him on his journey. I guess I am stil...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Still trying to control me.... (Preview) Now that I am living separately from my AH and over the grief and the ripping apart from the sickly familiar, I have really grown to enjoy not being in a relationship with an alcoholic and I am still amazed how blind I was to who he is. It's been almost a month and I am proud of myself and there is no feeling of...	silverbrumby	11	652	Jul 22, 2008 by mokoehn
	AH just started taking Seroquel (Preview) Hi everyone...just to give you an update on my rollercoaster life with my alcoholic husband... as a last resort, he went on his own to see a new psychiatrist last week. My husband has a 10 year history of substance abuse (cocaine, beer)... In the last year, he has been diagnosed with bipolar and hypoma...	jaysbaby	12	723	Jul 22, 2008 by mokoehn
	Offer of a great book... (Preview) Hi everyone... Like many others on here, I am a huge fan of the book series "Getting Them Sober" (particularly volume one), written by Toby Rice Drews. This book is said to be one of THE best resources for those living around active alcoholism. I recently purchased a large quantity of th...	canadianguy	0	5754	Jul 22, 2008 by canadianguy
	Changing a Bad Attitude (Preview) My bff came over yesterday & his job is in jeopardy. For the last 3 months there has been this consultant at his work place observing. Now the hammer has come down. BFF got fired from his last job. His friend got him hired at this place. His friend sounds to me like if he's an addict/alcoholic. If he i...	kitty	4	597	Jul 22, 2008 by CJ
	I Moved, Now He Wants to Stop Drinking! (Preview) I got an apartment, after years of living in an abusive A situation with my husband of almost 8 years. We've been together 11, and then some. He's been yelling he wanted a divorce for years. I withdrew $$$ from my 401K to get a new car after I totaled my other one. I got an apartment, I paid to have all my s...	Becky1	15	618	Jul 21, 2008 by Becky1
	i completely have given up on AH! (Preview) I think I have taken all I can take. I just honestly do not care anymore. He can drink as much as he wants. I no longer say anything, don't care. He's the one to act like the idiot. He's the one people hate being around. He's the one that looks like a fool. I am tired of covering up for him. I just don't c...	desperate for help	12	547	Jul 21, 2008 by maresie
	Law of the Garbage Truck (Preview) Howdy yall, Got this in an email today and thought I would share it with everyone. Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his bra...	david62	7	628	Jul 21, 2008 by norwood
	Progress...if you don't think that you are making progress, please read my testimony to the truth. (Preview) ...this can sometimes appear to be very slow or even miniscule until one is further along the journey. On looking back to last October, when I first came here as Heartbroken and indeed was heartbroken, now I can see my progress. It is the one step at a time attitude that has brought me thus far; this famil...	Suzannah	7	594	Jul 21, 2008 by norwood
	just needing to vent (Preview) We just purchased a beach home in Bethany Beach, DE this year. I have really been trying to enjoy my summer there. My husband talked me into this particular house that needs cosmetic work. He has always been very handy around the house. I did not want this house because he has been showing signs of depres...	Gailey	2	517	Jul 21, 2008 by abbyal
	Don't Tread On Me! (Preview) In my detachment from my soon-to-be-ex sober AH, I have learned to just stay silent and walk away when he says something unpleasant. I have now decided that this doesn't always work for me, as it makes me feel resentful and inferior, just adds to my list of "things unsaid". I worked my tail of...	Loupiness	4	574	Jul 21, 2008 by debilyn
	Today's Spirituality (Preview) The present, the here, the now, that's all the life I get, I live each moment in full, in kindness, in peace, without regret. ~ Chade Meng. Now that's what I am talking about A simple reminder that all I have is now. What am I going to do with the now? So much ESH in this one little sentence makes me gratefu...	Maria123	3	303	Jul 21, 2008 by Mandy123
	It's been a while (Preview) A lesson I learned recently---"Sometimes bad things happen for good reasons". I have been increasing my boundaries with certain people. I was working at a job where there was a lot of drug activity and pornography. One of my colleagues who is on drugs doesn't understand people's person...	kissers	5	505	Jul 21, 2008 by maresie
	WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? (Preview) My son is 24 yrs. old and he is an alcoholic! I keep falling for it, keep thinking this is it, he's finally serious and has changed even though he hasn't stopped drinking or gone to AA meetings! I keep thinking he's tired of living at friends houses, partying, never having money and being unstable!! W...	roxygirl	9	749	Jul 21, 2008 by Minnehaha
	Son is home and doing well (Preview) ((((((((((((Family of choice )))))))))) I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. My son is home from surgery (thought i should clairfy that ) and doing well . I am grateful that I am able to stay home at least for the weekend and be his nurse. Thank you all again!!!!! Yours in Rec...	shadow1	7	640	Jul 21, 2008 by Karilynn
	Please, I need your esh (Preview) AH's phone number says you are connected, but they are not taking calls. She is very ill,cancer. So is she dieing, if so I don't want to lose track of AH only for business reasons. OR he is very ill and dieing,and I need to know this. Business reasons again.Also becuz I care very much. so do i just go knock on...	debilyn	9	654	Jul 20, 2008 by lin0606
	coping with it all (Preview) I have hours and nanoseconds where I think: I simply cannot deal with life as I now have it. I cannot stand it. Then something kicks in and I realize, short of being self-destructive, I have no choice but to stand it. News like I have recently had following my surgery....sarcoma of the lung....is dev...	joyoma	5	533	Jul 20, 2008 by lin0606
	Next Friday is the day (Preview) Hi all Well it has come to this after alot of soul searching...I am moving out next Friday and will be on my own with my three small kids. I tried everything I begged I pleaded and I finally realized i cannot control my A the only person I have control over is myself. I pray someway we can mend the road we hav...	mo14	6	631	Jul 20, 2008 by Maria123
	more stuff (Preview) good to be back home again..spent the day at the beach with a friend and his family hit up the ocean..nice my girl called from detroit..she was high..drunk..whatever..felt the nasty energy..phone call was quick don't need her calling whem shes high...or for that matter ever someone said i don't per...	charlescharles	0	258	Jul 19, 2008 by charlescharles
	hey (Preview) just a quick check up..feeling a bit out of sorts..my a went away for the weekend..hurah..i think she will be back on monday..i say good riddence to her right now this is how i feel hung out with my friend today but was reminded about people from my past and even giving myself away my co dependent nature.....	charlescharles	3	284	Jul 19, 2008 by lin0606
	Seeing What You All Are Saying (Preview) I want to sincerely thank all of you who shared your esh in my earlier post. I have clamed down and thought about all of it and read the replies a couple of times now and realize that I had a "relapse" I will turn my focus back to ME and MY recovery where it belongs and dive into some CAL. again, than...	JenniferN	2	411	Jul 19, 2008 by nmike
	Refusing to rescue (Preview) Thanks Jean4444 for your post the other day, it made me think. I will alway rescue animals but have pulled out of two situations in the last 24 hours that I would not have done so had I not read and absorbed the post. The first was when dealing with someone who did not realise my business worth and was minim...	maire rua	2	362	Jul 19, 2008 by kitty
	Honey, I'm home! (Preview) Honey, I'm home! As some of you may already know, my A hubby works offshore and is home for 7 and at work for 7. The light at the end of the tunnel for me for the last 10 years has been that his 7 days home won't be long and he'll be gone soon. In the beginning, I would look forward to his returning home. Soon af...	Sincerely	4	419	Jul 19, 2008 by Sincerely
	Prayer Request Please (Preview) (((((((((((Everyone))))))))) My oldest son Kyle is having surgery tomorrow, (Friday) and I would appreciate it if you could please add him to your prayers. Its not major but it is still surgery. Thanks Shad	shadow1	9	398	Jul 19, 2008 by Maria123
	I Have A Confesion To Make (Preview) Hello All, I have always taken a little pride (not always a good thing) in the fact that I have "NEVER" been late to one of our Al-Anon meetings, and I go twice a week for the past two years. Sometimes members will drag in 5 minutes or so late, not me I'm always there 15 or 20 minutes early to...	RLC	7	667	Jul 19, 2008 by Maria123
	Had a visit with my AH (Preview) It's been 8 weeks since my AH and I separated. I've been attending f2f Al-Anon meetings since - wonderful stuff there, and posting here - what a blessing! Today's brief visit with my AH went okay. He wasn't drunk during our visit. I could still smell the alcohol on his breath from last night's binge. My...	AJ	4	555	Jul 18, 2008 by AJ
	Question About Detachment (Preview) I've been wondering lately where that fine line between detachment with love and taking care of someone you love lies. I know not to take care of things he can obviously do on his own: like getting up in the morning, cooking, making appointments things like that. But I guess I'm having difficulty with t...	JenniferN	10	463	Jul 18, 2008 by AJ
	Intervention success? (Preview) My AH was doing pretty good for the last several months.I noticed he was sneaking drinks again here and there but it wasn't bad.Then I went away to camp for a week and came home to a nightmare. He is in full blown again.I talked to a good friend of his who is suggesting an intervention. Here is where it gets c...	Totally Heartbroken	10	505	Jul 18, 2008 by AJ
	HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! (Preview) HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUPINESS!!! I know we're not to give advice, let alone an order but...... You have a wonderful day!! That's an order!!!! Christy	Christy	10	485	Jul 18, 2008 by Loupiness
	Gratitude leads to humility...so I am told... (Preview) ...if that is the case then I need to make sure that my humility is true humility and not false humility. Being in control of my attitude means, for me at least, knowing what is in my mind and in my heart. My behaviour is what reveals my attitude for it shows what is in my mind and in my heart. That being the ca...	Suzannah	6	382	Jul 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	A report back from my first ever Alanon meeting (long) (Preview) Which was preceded by my first ever chat on the Alanon forum. What can I say? It all feels like I put on a new pair of shoes and I'm Cinderella, that's what. It fits like a dream. It's comfortable, it's comforting, and best of all, I was on the cusp before the meeting of the relief that was swift in coming...	partlycloudy1	10	577	Jul 18, 2008 by partlycloudy1
	I'm not as important as I think I am... (Preview) Where I live, a law has recently been passed that cell phones must be hands-free when you are driving. I find it silly only in that dialing and texting are still okay. Huh? Anyhow, I lost my bluetooth device (that I had since Dec) about a week after the law came into effect and I haven't bought a new one ye...	Loupiness	6	613	Jul 18, 2008 by Minnehaha
	dating in recovery (Preview) As you all know I have been going out on dates. Recently I met three men, one an alcoholic in recovery (he has long term recovery), the others two different men. Guess who I feel most comfortable with? The recovering alcohoic has numerous red flags, smokes (I am asthmatic and really allergic to smoke...	maresie	17	517	Jul 18, 2008 by maresie
	when is it okay to move on? (Preview) Interesting... just 5 years ago I would have said that alcoholism or alcohol in general, had no impact on my life. Now, even though I am not engulfed in the active part of it, I feel surrounded. My brother is also an A in my life. Just a few years ago, he had a wonderful intact family. Now my sis-in-law is s...	Loupiness	10	625	Jul 18, 2008 by Diva
	Sounds of the wild (Preview) Sounds of the wild Consumes me Able to hear there whisper There calling There protection of there home Even a pea cock calling Sounding like a women calling for HELP !HELP! A wood pecker going at a tree To find his feed Robins bob bob bobbing along The surface of the ground I walk on to find there feed I once...	angel123	0	331	Jul 18, 2008 by angel123
	Hey...I am new (Preview) Hello everyone- I was looking over the other posts as I was debating (and have been for several months) whether to even join as a member, let alone post anything. I definitely found that I share all to well similar feelings. I come from a home where my mother was addicted to pain killers my entire life (st...	MayDay	6	412	Jul 18, 2008 by angel66
	surgery over (Preview) My surgery went without a hitch on Monday. By Tuesday I was up walking and by that afternoon had my chest tube removed. I came home today. So all went well...except that the nodule on my lung was indeed a malignant sarcoma. It was a mestasis from the primary leg tumor of last year. The standard treatme...	joyoma	13	521	Jul 17, 2008 by Loupiness
	Ok, I'm ready to admit it... (Preview) After going to a meeting, doing a little reading, taking inventory of my past relationships, and getting a few drunken phone calls this week, I think I'm ready to admit that the people I'm having trouble with currently are in fact alcoholics. I've also realized that all but one of the people I've been i...	SmallSteps	7	557	Jul 17, 2008 by SmallSteps
	catastrophizing (Preview) One of my dogs is ill. She has a bad rash. She's had the rash on and off for years. So this week I have to go all out to help with the rash, get creams, bathe her, wash everything. She's had the rash on and off for years. I've had to give up trying to find what the cause is. I don't know. The rash gets better and it g...	maresie	10	626	Jul 17, 2008 by maresie
	I don't want to celebrate! (Preview) My birthday is on Thurs, and as I have shared before, I don't really like birthdays. Of course, I like to be acknowledged, but absolutley do not enjoy being in the limelight. Well, my 2 older kids will both be gone on Thurs, my son at Boy Scout Camp and my daughter on vacation with my sister. I will just be ho...	Loupiness	13	729	Jul 17, 2008 by Loupiness
	How do I always end up being blamed....? (Preview) I am SO ANGRY! My oldest son has been talking with my A son with TBI. The A son is angry because I spoke with the extended family that A son has moved in with. They called me but that is besides the point, I had planned on calling them. And YES I explained the brain injury and A sons self distructive behavior....	MomGayle42	11	472	Jul 17, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	What's wrong with my thinking? (Preview) I put two resumes in recently and received two rejection notices. One job reopened. I hope that I will get an interview this time. I think that I am well qualified. The codependent in me has taken off. I have mentally interviewed, received a job offer I couldn't refuse mainly because it is for more money...	nmike	5	622	Jul 17, 2008 by maire rua
	Thought About Leaving (Preview) I'm begining to hate Tuesday's. Last Tuesday he came home 2 1/2 hours after the meeting had let out. I had dinner prepared and sitting on the stove. No phone call. Nothing. Last night same thing except for the dinner being made. I had no clue as to where he was, IF he was ok, if the truck had broken down, ect....	JenniferN	6	375	Jul 17, 2008 by CJ
	A newbie and a question for you (Preview) Hi, I'm Partlycloudy. I'm a recovering alcoholic with 3 years' continuous sobriety and recently my grown step daughter moved in with us after she abruptly left rehab for her addiction to painkillers. She was indigent; her drug-dealer husband who had a domestic violence warrant out against him f...	partlycloudy1	11	489	Jul 17, 2008 by Jean4444
	Ultimatum or boundary ?? (Preview) Thanks to all your support. I have realized that I have reached my bottom. My AH is due home from a trip in 3 hours. I have prepared a heartfelt letter. I have left the choice up to him. If he chooses to join me along my journey it must be with acceptance, love, a recovery plan and ongoing sobriety. If...	bugs39	11	520	Jul 16, 2008 by norwood
	rescue and rescuing (Preview) I need to bring some thing up and hope I do not offend anyone here. I just have noticed that it seems that many folks here are into rescuing animals and wonder what the connection is (if any) between rescuing animals and wanting to be rescued...just a thought- don't go ballistic on me please!! Hugs, J.	Jean4444	7	539	Jul 16, 2008 by Martina57
	It got worse (Preview) when DH (or whatever) got home. He did come to me to try and finish our "discussion" from last night. What he told me was stunning to me. He does not understand in any way shape or form why I want him to stop drinking, and furthermore he wants to know when I became such a damn teetotaler. The i...	mm18123	12	426	Jul 16, 2008 by kitty
	Al-Anon's new book (Preview) Al-Anon released a new book recently titled "Discovering Choices". I haven't read the entire thing yet but what I have read is very good. I can see using each personal story as the basis for a meeting in the near future. Sometimes it's difficult to come up with a new subject for meetings a...	Mobirdie	5	445	Jul 16, 2008 by SmallSteps
	hello (Preview) haven't been here for a while since last we talked my girlfriend...who has been sober now for almst a week...thank god...got kicked out of her fathers place...shes thirty seven and still lives with him..relies on him..etc well..he kicked her out..once again...the man is a bit nuts and his daughter...	charlescharles	8	455	Jul 16, 2008 by Bettina
	Is it "love" or my codependency? (Preview) I went to a f2f meeting over the weekend and....as I was listening, a powerful thing came over me. Numerous shares were about how (they) were staying with their A because they "love them so much." It occurred to me, that I stayed with my A for 26 years....in a crazy, painful relationshi...	glad lee	7	546	Jul 16, 2008 by maresie
	REFLECTIONS (Preview) (((((Family))))) Today (7-14-08) has been a day of reflections for me, as it is my 35th wedding anniversary. I have decided that I should make a list of things I am thankful for. 1. I am truly thankful for a husband that loves me. 2. I am thankful for the beautiful daughter we have. 3. I am thankful for my ho...	cookie1971	6	404	Jul 16, 2008 by buick23
	New T.V. Show, "The Cleaner" (Preview) starring Benjamin Bratt... did anyone besides myself see this show on A & E lastnite? What did you think? I thought it was great... Ben plays a recovered addict, who is now a bounty hunter looking for drug, alcohol and gambling addicts... He has a team who helps him hunt down these addicts one by one...	jaysbaby	4	445	Jul 16, 2008 by SmallSteps
	Dealing with triggers (Preview) One of my triggers is competition. One of my roommates I have realised is quite competitive with me over space, resources and other things. I find myself constantly butting up against him. I am not sure why since I go out of my way to avoid him. Last night I was washing my dished and he started hovering...	maresie	1	266	Jul 16, 2008 by maresie
	Wherever you go, there you are (Preview) Hey y'all, I'm writing from the beach. I'm on vacation with my clean and sober A (but not practicing a program), and my two young kids. It's a beautiful place with an ocean view and a pool and a tikki bar. What more could I want? Just feeling a little unsettled here. Overwhlemed w/o the structure of home...	itsgot2bgd	5	534	Jul 16, 2008 by maresie
	Happy Birthday Norwood :) (Preview) ((((((((((Paul))))))))))))))))), Just wanted to say happy birthday to you. Hehe I am posting this on the 1st, but I did not forget your birthday is on the 2nd. Hope you have a great experience at the conference. Thanks for being you, and please don't eat anything bigger than your head. See you in the ro...	Mandy123	11	569	Jul 16, 2008 by aunitedway
	A strange revelation (Preview) I was driving down the road the other day thinking about my life choices and how I like things to be slightly chaotic and unpredictable and how I was drawn to that for so long and then something hit me. I was thinking about the A - he was a binge drinker - he was mostly reliable but a few times a year there wou...	carolinagirl	10	556	Jul 16, 2008 by Karilynn
	needing to vent (Preview) So, it's 6 in the morning and I have not had much sleep, because I have been up all night thinking about how I am so mad at my ah and myself. I am new to this program, and I am so frustrated. He has always drank in our garage, he would start from the minute he got off work to the minute he went to bed, leaving me in...	cbu03	5	311	Jul 16, 2008 by cbu03
	blame and responsibility (Preview) you've heard the saying that 2 wrongs don't make a right...my partner and I have been fighting. Both of us have said and done things that we shouldn't have. I can't help feeling like I caused some of her actions because of my mouth. At the same time, I'm angry at what she did. The last few days all I have want...	seekingserenity	4	328	Jul 16, 2008 by Jean4444
	Are we dead? (Preview) "Are we dead?" is what my abf asked me last night while we were sitting at the table just staring at eachother for lack of something to say. I made a list of boundaries yesterday while he was at his 2nd group meeting which I presented to him when he got home. He told me he "understood&quo...	liljeannie	6	513	Jul 16, 2008 by Jerry F
	Will she ever be happy again? (Preview) How long does it take to be happy again after recovery? My daughter is doing well and working the program but she is really unhappy. She is committed to staying sober but cries a lot because she feels like she is faking her way through the day. She is hoping as she moves through the steps, this will come, bu...	hopeful332	6	982	Jul 15, 2008 by Maria123
	Hanging in there! (Preview) I am hanging in there! I feel kinda stressed today and the last week or so. But... my A has quit smoking for almost two weeks. He quit smoking before for 4 years. I am trying so hard to support him. I just get a little bit self-centered and forget to praise him and help him on his journey. I guess I am stil...	Hoot Nanny	3	431	Jul 15, 2008 by cookie1971
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.