Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

queenie105 · queenie105

I haven't posted lately, but I'm here everyday. Some of you may know my story, but in a short recap: I'm married 20 years to a wonderful, sweet, kind, loving man who also is, I believe, and end-stage alcoholic. He was sober for over 15 years without a single relapse, relapsed about 5 years ago, and has...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

It had been ages since I spoke with my ex AAAAAA boyfriend. Then out of the blue he calls me over the weekend. He left a drunken message on my cell phone at 4am Saturday morning. Sounded bombed out of his mind with a woman in the background that sounded just as bombed as him. It was a really nasty message b...

Rora · Rora

I had been doing things for myself, keeping myself busy, in the absense of my aH, in response to our separation 3 1/2 weeks ago. I wondered how to differentiate between taking care of myself, and distraction. I'm still not totally certain on that. For me, I've noticed that it is all in perspective. I c...

mslouise · mslouise

I haven't posted in a while. For those who read my past posts, I had the, "at the time sober" Abf who choose to leave 2 months ago as quick as the hunting season came. I have been doing ok since. Have been going to meetings and even started going out to get more social and meet people. I ha...

c1grace · c1grace

My AH has started treatment, and I just keep thinking how nice it would be to fast forward to the end of the program. However some wonderful people have reminded me that we hope for a long, slow recovery. He is really "working" his program, but I am sooooo afraid to be hopeful. This time it t...

puzzle · puzzle

Hello all, I have been reading w/out posting and it helps so much. You guys are awsome.......such an amazing support network. ahhh, where to begin.... again...... I guess I can start with saying that my A is gone in all ways that an A leaves us without dying. In my last post I said he really was not there an...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi Having an ok day. Have been able to tell My AH that it is not he that i do not like but the things that he is doing and then leave it at that. Thanks just wanted to let you all know that.

SammyQ · SammyQ

Hi everyone, Why do ACOA 'characteristics' get worse? Does it snowball as we get older or is it just because lately the (recovering?)alcoholic parent in my life is just being beyond reason? That woman could make a funeral all about her.

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I have felt like I had an empty space or a void in my life for years. I could never place where it came from and still can't to tell you the truth. I tried to fill it up with all sorts of things. Pleasing people and getting approval I thought if others where happy then I could be too but it only exhausted me and th...

Soobie · Soobie

I am new here, but have been reading your entries for several weeks. It still amazes me that there are so many out there struggling just like me. I have been to a few Al-ANon meetings, but life is so busy, that it is hard to find the time to go! I have been married to my AC/AH for 11 years. He went through...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I've been reading the forum and absorbing pointers on how to deal with my alcoholic's behavior and my mine. I've been practicing detachment and getting projects done around the house. I hired my soon to be son-in-law to work on some projects around the house and barn that really needed to be. Such a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am generally an awesome sleeper. I love to sleep. I love to eat well, get plenty of rest, work hard and exercise. I love living a simple and balanced life. I am recently divorced, recently relocated and recently started a new job. I attend my weekly al-anon meeting and like my home group very much...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I've hit a brick wall and cannot seem to get over it, through it, round it or under it. The anxiety is choking me and I still cannot eat or drink anything without feeling I am going to choke. My arms and legs hurt so much and I am not sleeping properly. I try to make myself do something every day, but it all see...

nmike · nmike

My HP works in strange, helpful ways. I saw my AHsober Fri night. We went to dinner and then went dancing. I became jealous of his life without me and treated him poorly. The next day I went to an Alanon meeting and opened the book to Nov. 15. Bitterness towards the A. Yes, my attitude towards my A is often ho...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello MIP family I haven't posted here in a very long time. I was just thinking maybe someone here might have some experience with this situation. This morning, my A ex-husband called my sister out of the blue. We haven't seen or heard from him in nearly 2 years. He had found an instruction book for our s...

blender_girl · blender_girl

"Dear _____, I'm writing this letter to you because I don't yet have the courage to speak to you about this face to face. Most of the time, I don't feel safe expressing my feelings to you as you usually find a way to take what I say and mold it into a very sharp object to stab me with repeatedly later on....

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I really needed to share with you about this, this morning. YES! A part of "us" must die (or it feels that way). I really believe this is true but although its incredibly uncomfortable and feels painful I also believe its absolutely necessary and a good sign, ultimately. What had died? F...

weggie · weggie

I am wore out just thinking of what is going to happen next. Today I found out that my A took a couple of checks from our Retirement account and cashed them. Six months ago we went to our Lawyers and he signed over a power of attorney to me on all accounts but he signs my name of checks and all is good. ...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I have just got thourght reading "The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage" understand and can see some things that is helpful. However, when it was talking about the way the A chose his or she partner i did not really see my marriage in it. He was quiet and I was shy and in the book it one is...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

It has been three months since my ex ABF left our home. I have seen him about 4 times since then, for only about an hour or so, and we've only spoken about 8 times in our time apart. My last conversation with him last week led me to believe that he is really struggling but that he is finally making some chang...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Wow! Is how I have to start this post. Last night my brother-in-law was in a bad car accident, and he had been drinking. He rolled the truck 4 times and was thrown to the passenger side of the vehicle. When the police got there they didn't know if he was the driver or if somebody else had been there. They had j...

hurtnfedup · hurtnfedup

I just joined this board last week, feeling like i had no one to turn to. I have been coming on daily and reading everyone's posts- they keep me going and i see more and more i'm not alone. Thank you sooo much everyone for sharing. I did get a chance to go to one meeting so far and hope to get to more soon! I had ju...

New member needs advice · hibiscusrose

I am married to a man who was on the wagon for 25 years, but due to retirement started drinking again. He is 69 and although been to 3 AA meetings, he is still drinking steadily, and I do not believe he is serious about stopping, or has not the willpower. We have been married six years. He denies that he i...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Thank you for my beautiful day. Thank you for the energy and health today to put my painting room together. Thank you for sending my brother and nephew and one of my oldest friends to visit me. Thank you for helping me to a safe place where I can keep my prescription in my own medicine cabinet. Thank you for...

debilyn · debilyn

Vere r u dahling??? did you run off with that neighbor? hugs,debilyn -- Edited by debilyn at 22:52, 2008-11-17

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

The other night I was saying the serenity prayer out loud and reading the steps. I got to step 7 and I was thinking about how I really do want my HP to remove my shortcomings. I've been so frustrated and impatient lately and I don't want a bad attitude anymore. So I humbly prayed and asked HP to remove these d...

NancyfromNC · NancyfromNC

My AH has started to sneak alcohol again. My whole family sees it but his family is oblivious to it. There are a lot of medical crises going on on his side and they just don't see it. I cannot tell on him because he will get in trouble with his monitoring program and be kicked out. He has spent the last 3 1/2 y...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I am haveing a bad week as early said we are back in active drinking. He had a meeting with his counsler about 20 minutes ago and them make a dicede for the hloe family and them wanted to know i feeling on it in a very public place I do not get taking in a room and ask I get ask in the front office how I feel a...

maire rua · maire rua

Well, yesterday and today were the days of the funeral of step-mother A. I arrived back from London and called to the house at 3. They still had not dressed for funeral, father A had told them it was ok to go in jeans and casual wear, I calmly told them that it was not appropriate dress and they were shocked,...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

After quite a few years in Al-Anon I have found myself faced with a new issue. My son is an A/DA and at the moment is doing quite well. However, he has four children (2 marriages) and I have noticed that it has become increasingly more difficult to contact the children who are living with their mother man...

Becky1 · Becky1

OK, so I have this guy.....who is everything I ever wanted in a man. He has been here all weekend, been incredibly kind, attentive, loving. We just lazed around all day yesterday, side by side on the couch, watching TV, holding each other. He told me often that he loves me. Today we went out to breakfas...

Becky1 · Becky1

I moved into my apartment in July, leaving behind the wreckage of an 11+ year relationship with my AH. OMG. You wouldn't believe all the stuff I moved with me. My life had become so unmanageable. I have all sorts of papers, boxes and boxes of old magazines, bills (both paid and unpaid), knick-knacks,...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I have this little movie that plays in my head of a sweet, warm, trusting, balanced little girl in my heart. She works all day long on the wall. It comes all the way down when I am around my brother and family. She replaces it brick by brick as I move into public. Makes little peepholes by taking out certain b...

LEEA · LEEA

One of my first problems when I started this program, was the "do something good for yourself" concept. I drew a complete blank. After alot of thinking, I decided it was taking a nice hot BATH. It cost me nothing, didn't require me leaving the house, and let others in my life see that I was s...

ddub · ddub

I often chuckle when others write that they have a long post - they haven't seen long yet! as I can write a short novel if I really let myself loose. I seem to have these rushes of many light bulbs going off at once until I am exhausted and need to rest to absorb it all. Along the journey into chaos & insa...

Sad Wife · Sad Wife

So a few weeks after celebrating my 1st wedding anniversary, I have started the divorce process..And it is killing me. I love my husband so much but not sure if I can stay...In short time we have been married, he has relapsed 4 times. First time I drove him to rehab... He had asked for help. The next 2 times...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Can I love myself enough to stand side by side and face to face with HP 24/7? Can I stand that much goodness and attention and unconditional love and acceptance? I have been thinking lately about how I choose people in my life who are either unavailable or unsafe. Usually unavailable. And how I ofte...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I've been reacting a lot lately. Mostly to my aunt and other people that come into the store where I work with a bad attitude. But, then I end up being the one with a bad attitude. I realize that reacting is a choice and yes sometimes my emotions carry me away with anger and frustration and I say things I regr...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, Stepmother A died at 5.30 this morning. I contacted her daughters and broke the news to them. She was a good person with a nasty disease, and I am not talking about the cancer. I know my father will find it hard to carry on without her and I only hope he doesn't drown it all with drink but I think he wi...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Had a wonderful meeting on gratitude last night and a nice meeting with my sponsor. Came home to sabatoge myself. And why do I do that? Thurs night I got the distinct feeling my AH (soon-to-be-ex I hope!) was lying. Happened in a brief exchange. Overall didn't matter, but just a continuation and remi...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I wanted to post yesterday but couldn't get myself together enough, though I know the help/support I need is here. I am having the worst time I've had in soooo long and feel like I died inside yesterday. ABF called yesterday at 10 and asked me to lunch, all happy and laughing etc. We hadn't spoke...

bluerose · bluerose

I am in a spin. I separated from my alcoholic husband 3 years ago and we have 3 children together. Because of the children we see him regularly and there have been very little problems. But over the past two weeks, he seems to have lost the plot. He came to me asking for money because he was broke, I refused...

Kateri · Kateri

Dear ESH Family: I have been away from all of you since approximately 5/2007 due to a very serious accident and loss of my internet due to financial reasons. I have missed you terribly. I am a recovering Al-Anon and a recovering AA as well. A 38-year old mom of a beautiful 14-year old son named Jonathan a...

Sad Wife · 4536056357611703

Hello: This is my first post. I've been to al-anon meetings twice. I've been married for 33 years and just under two months ago I finally left him. I couldn't stand the stress, tension and his drinking any longer. Now he's given up the whiskey but continues to drink beer. He wants me to come home. I know h...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

I remember my 'new days'....they were riddled with confusion, frustration, anger and fear... some of those feelings are still with me... 'acceptance' seemed easy when I found alanon accepting that my life was unmanageable was without a doubt.... accepting that 'something was drastically w...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I had an revelation today. I need to set some boundaries and learn how to detach and let others take care of themselves - but I don't know how to do it. It's Friday and I had a long day at work - found myself running errands to pick up supper, cat food and horse feed. My AH is now on his 8th day of deer hunt...

masspedirn · masspedirn

Hi everyone, I just wanted to share on a positive note. At my f2f meeting last week I started sharing on what AlAnon meant to me. I work in the medical field and after trying to explain the life altering way this program has touched me I used this analogy: for me it was like 20 yrs of going to dr. after dr. not k...

bluejack · bluejack

After joining AA last Tuesday, i have also ordered some books about being the adult child of an alcoholic. should come next week. My thoughts have been driving me crazy this last week but I didnt have anybody to listen at the time. I am writing a letter to my alcoholic mother, to make me feel better. Dont s...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I was reading a friend's blog and it made me think of this. I am well aware of who I am when I don't like myself, which is pretty much all the time. My opinions, my stubbornness, my neediness, my self sabotoging behavior, on and on...When I started thinking about it though, I came upon an "aha" m...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi All will i have had a few bad day here as my A is back to drinking, however I am have some light t the end. Was told yesterday that his counslors are trying to put him in his own place. Bad part it may take four to six week to get him in. I can not wait looking to see how we can get away for him. I have no family up h...

Loupiness · Loupiness

One of my greatest struggles during this recovery process has been the acknowlegement that what I know in my head, and how I react/respond,have not been in sync with each other. I have always been somewhat of a realistic and based my actions on common sense, logic, and "doing the right thing&qu...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family. It's been a tough week. I started out feeling strong. Detached with love from the drama of my AH, managing to care for him in his illness, yet not losing it because he is still drinking. Keeping my sanity and not contributing to a "crazy house". Yet, my serenity took a beating o...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I never realised what the death of a second parent would do to me, and it has caused me to be all over the place. The fact that I had not seen my father for nine years was in itself traumatic and whilst he was alive I had hope, when I heard that he had died I felt utterly hopeless. It also brought up so...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Well, yesterday I finally went to see my primary care physician. Although I had gotten over the sore throat/chills, there were other health issues cropping up. My last MRI revealed that not only do I have bulging disks in the area of the spinal stenosis, but I also have bone spurs in that area, which cre...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

When I let go and let God things are more peaceful and go more smoothly. Lately I've been trying to control other people and today I realize it's made me frustrated and exhausted. I've learned I have no control over other people and trying is a waste of time that I could be using to enjoy my life. I've been t...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I have ALWAYS been superindependant, super in control and in need of no one-I kept it that way after my divorce from active A. Now with new ABF I find myself "needing" him and what he has to offer through his serenity and I HATE it. I don't know how to deal with it and it is driving a wedge bet...

roxanne · roxanne

hi everyone....i am new to this, so, i hope this doesn't sound silly. my name is roxanne and i am 28 yrs old. my A is my husband and boy has he put me thru hell the past year or so. i'll start with my husband is more addicted to drugs, mainly meth and cocaine, than anything. but he does like his beer. and no...

ddub · ddub

Over a year ago before I started al anon my emotions were just numb to avoid anymore pain. Early on in the program I started hearing about co dependency which I had just as strong denial for as I did re AH. I have a very judgemental & opininated MIL who was a child psych/school counselor who labeled...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I guess sometimes like today was really frustrating for me. I worked for my aunt and she had an attitude with me all day again today. I have been good about not letting it bother me but had a slip today. I got frustrated and then I got an attitude. I realized it said the serenity prayer and calmed down. Then I...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

A few weeks back my AH threw a huge tantrum and destroyed the better part of our home. The cops came, yadda, yadda and now he has a warrant for his arrest. We have a marriage counseling session tomorrow and I've been thinking about telling him about the warrant for his arrest at the session. I'm terrified...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Decided to Stay W/AH, But Need ESH To Get Thru It (Preview) I haven't posted lately, but I'm here everyday. Some of you may know my story, but in a short recap: I'm married 20 years to a wonderful, sweet, kind, loving man who also is, I believe, and end-stage alcoholic. He was sober for over 15 years without a single relapse, relapsed about 5 years ago, and has...	queenie105	6	465	Nov 20, 2008 by queenie105
	What did I get myself into? (Preview) It had been ages since I spoke with my ex AAAAAA boyfriend. Then out of the blue he calls me over the weekend. He left a drunken message on my cell phone at 4am Saturday morning. Sounded bombed out of his mind with a woman in the background that sounded just as bombed as him. It was a really nasty message b...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	5	412	Nov 20, 2008 by maresie
	the perspective of "taking good care" of myself... (Preview) I had been doing things for myself, keeping myself busy, in the absense of my aH, in response to our separation 3 1/2 weeks ago. I wondered how to differentiate between taking care of myself, and distraction. I'm still not totally certain on that. For me, I've noticed that it is all in perspective. I c...	Rora	9	1346	Nov 20, 2008 by maresie
	first the A, now the family - sorry so long (Preview) I haven't posted in a while. For those who read my past posts, I had the, "at the time sober" Abf who choose to leave 2 months ago as quick as the hunting season came. I have been doing ok since. Have been going to meetings and even started going out to get more social and meet people. I ha...	mslouise	3	434	Nov 20, 2008 by maresie
	swim through it, not over it (Preview) My AH has started treatment, and I just keep thinking how nice it would be to fast forward to the end of the program. However some wonderful people have reminded me that we hope for a long, slow recovery. He is really "working" his program, but I am sooooo afraid to be hopeful. This time it t...	c1grace	3	527	Nov 20, 2008 by maresie
	It's time......and I need some advice after I blab some....alot (Preview) Hello all, I have been reading w/out posting and it helps so much. You guys are awsome.......such an amazing support network. ahhh, where to begin.... again...... I guess I can start with saying that my A is gone in all ways that an A leaves us without dying. In my last post I said he really was not there an...	puzzle	6	376	Nov 20, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	ok and learning (Preview) Hi Having an ok day. Have been able to tell My AH that it is not he that i do not like but the things that he is doing and then leave it at that. Thanks just wanted to let you all know that.	smileycat	2	346	Nov 20, 2008 by Jerry F
	ACOA characteristics getting worse? (Preview) Hi everyone, Why do ACOA 'characteristics' get worse? Does it snowball as we get older or is it just because lately the (recovering?)alcoholic parent in my life is just being beyond reason? That woman could make a funeral all about her.	SammyQ	5	3837	Nov 20, 2008 by Jerry F
	Emptiness (Preview) I have felt like I had an empty space or a void in my life for years. I could never place where it came from and still can't to tell you the truth. I tried to fill it up with all sorts of things. Pleasing people and getting approval I thought if others where happy then I could be too but it only exhausted me and th...	christinajeanne	1	328	Nov 19, 2008 by Jean4444
	Trying to keep afloat! (Preview) I am new here, but have been reading your entries for several weeks. It still amazes me that there are so many out there struggling just like me. I have been to a few Al-ANon meetings, but life is so busy, that it is hard to find the time to go! I have been married to my AC/AH for 11 years. He went through...	Soobie	5	381	Nov 19, 2008 by Soobie
	It works!!! But then there are setbacks. (Preview) I've been reading the forum and absorbing pointers on how to deal with my alcoholic's behavior and my mine. I've been practicing detachment and getting projects done around the house. I hired my soon to be son-in-law to work on some projects around the house and barn that really needed to be. Such a...	slowlearner	4	499	Nov 19, 2008 by slowlearner
	Massive wall of anxiety hits when everything starts turning out great? (Preview) I am generally an awesome sleeper. I love to sleep. I love to eat well, get plenty of rest, work hard and exercise. I love living a simple and balanced life. I am recently divorced, recently relocated and recently started a new job. I attend my weekly al-anon meeting and like my home group very much...	Jean4444	7	435	Nov 19, 2008 by Jean4444
	Hit a brick wall (Preview) I've hit a brick wall and cannot seem to get over it, through it, round it or under it. The anxiety is choking me and I still cannot eat or drink anything without feeling I am going to choke. My arms and legs hurt so much and I am not sleeping properly. I try to make myself do something every day, but it all see...	Suzannah	5	677	Nov 19, 2008 by RLC
	ODAT Nov 15 (Preview) My HP works in strange, helpful ways. I saw my AHsober Fri night. We went to dinner and then went dancing. I became jealous of his life without me and treated him poorly. The next day I went to an Alanon meeting and opened the book to Nov. 15. Bitterness towards the A. Yes, my attitude towards my A is often ho...	nmike	3	454	Nov 19, 2008 by ddub
	questioning ex AH's motive... (Preview) Hello MIP family I haven't posted here in a very long time. I was just thinking maybe someone here might have some experience with this situation. This morning, my A ex-husband called my sister out of the blue. We haven't seen or heard from him in nearly 2 years. He had found an instruction book for our s...	artygirl	6	655	Nov 19, 2008 by artygirl
	An Open Letter to my AH (Preview) "Dear _____, I'm writing this letter to you because I don't yet have the courage to speak to you about this face to face. Most of the time, I don't feel safe expressing my feelings to you as you usually find a way to take what I say and mold it into a very sharp object to stab me with repeatedly later on....	blender_girl	6	1411	Nov 18, 2008 by Beth.M
	This thing about feeling like a part of you is dying... (Preview) I really needed to share with you about this, this morning. YES! A part of "us" must die (or it feels that way). I really believe this is true but although its incredibly uncomfortable and feels painful I also believe its absolutely necessary and a good sign, ultimately. What had died? F...	Jean4444	7	1041	Nov 18, 2008 by maresie
	It is starting again. (Preview) I am wore out just thinking of what is going to happen next. Today I found out that my A took a couple of checks from our Retirement account and cashed them. Six months ago we went to our Lawyers and he signed over a power of attorney to me on all accounts but he signs my name of checks and all is good. ...	weggie	4	478	Nov 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	more infor please (Preview) Hi all I have just got thourght reading "The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage" understand and can see some things that is helpful. However, when it was talking about the way the A chose his or she partner i did not really see my marriage in it. He was quiet and I was shy and in the book it one is...	smileycat	2	469	Nov 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	Am I crazy? (Preview) It has been three months since my ex ABF left our home. I have seen him about 4 times since then, for only about an hour or so, and we've only spoken about 8 times in our time apart. My last conversation with him last week led me to believe that he is really struggling but that he is finally making some chang...	hopeful123	5	478	Nov 18, 2008 by canadianguy
	The truck flipped over 4 times, is he done drinking yet? (Preview) Wow! Is how I have to start this post. Last night my brother-in-law was in a bad car accident, and he had been drinking. He rolled the truck 4 times and was thrown to the passenger side of the vehicle. When the police got there they didn't know if he was the driver or if somebody else had been there. They had j...	wildthang86	2	370	Nov 18, 2008 by maresie
	Having a real bad day! very sad and could use a little encouragement (Preview) I just joined this board last week, feeling like i had no one to turn to. I have been coming on daily and reading everyone's posts- they keep me going and i see more and more i'm not alone. Thank you sooo much everyone for sharing. I did get a chance to go to one meeting so far and hope to get to more soon! I had ju...	hurtnfedup	4	585	Nov 18, 2008 by hurtnfedup
	New member needs advice (Preview) I am married to a man who was on the wagon for 25 years, but due to retirement started drinking again. He is 69 and although been to 3 AA meetings, he is still drinking steadily, and I do not believe he is serious about stopping, or has not the willpower. We have been married six years. He denies that he i...	hibiscusrose	5	504	Nov 17, 2008 by hibiscusrose
	Thank you to my HP (Preview) Thank you for my beautiful day. Thank you for the energy and health today to put my painting room together. Thank you for sending my brother and nephew and one of my oldest friends to visit me. Thank you for helping me to a safe place where I can keep my prescription in my own medicine cabinet. Thank you for...	Jennifer	3	400	Nov 17, 2008 by weggie
	Youuuuu whoooooo Maria123 (Preview) Vere r u dahling??? did you run off with that neighbor? hugs,debilyn -- Edited by debilyn at 22:52, 2008-11-17	debilyn	0	319	Nov 17, 2008 by debilyn
	step 7 share (Preview) The other night I was saying the serenity prayer out loud and reading the steps. I got to step 7 and I was thinking about how I really do want my HP to remove my shortcomings. I've been so frustrated and impatient lately and I don't want a bad attitude anymore. So I humbly prayed and asked HP to remove these d...	christinajeanne	0	1144	Nov 17, 2008 by christinajeanne
	My AH is starting to drink again (Preview) My AH has started to sneak alcohol again. My whole family sees it but his family is oblivious to it. There are a lot of medical crises going on on his side and they just don't see it. I cannot tell on him because he will get in trouble with his monitoring program and be kicked out. He has spent the last 3 1/2 y...	NancyfromNC	4	413	Nov 17, 2008 by NancyfromNC
	Feeling left out (Preview) Hi all I am haveing a bad week as early said we are back in active drinking. He had a meeting with his counsler about 20 minutes ago and them make a dicede for the hloe family and them wanted to know i feeling on it in a very public place I do not get taking in a room and ask I get ask in the front office how I feel a...	smileycat	2	303	Nov 17, 2008 by LEEA
	Update on bereavement (Preview) Well, yesterday and today were the days of the funeral of step-mother A. I arrived back from London and called to the house at 3. They still had not dressed for funeral, father A had told them it was ok to go in jeans and casual wear, I calmly told them that it was not appropriate dress and they were shocked,...	maire rua	2	454	Nov 17, 2008 by Rita G
	Grandchildren-esh needed (Preview) After quite a few years in Al-Anon I have found myself faced with a new issue. My son is an A/DA and at the moment is doing quite well. However, he has four children (2 marriages) and I have noticed that it has become increasingly more difficult to contact the children who are living with their mother man...	Mobirdie	4	578	Nov 17, 2008 by Rita G
	Relationships Are Hard For Me (Preview) OK, so I have this guy.....who is everything I ever wanted in a man. He has been here all weekend, been incredibly kind, attentive, loving. We just lazed around all day yesterday, side by side on the couch, watching TV, holding each other. He told me often that he loves me. Today we went out to breakfas...	Becky1	5	577	Nov 17, 2008 by LEEA
	Depression, Confusion, and Clutter (Preview) I moved into my apartment in July, leaving behind the wreckage of an 11+ year relationship with my AH. OMG. You wouldn't believe all the stuff I moved with me. My life had become so unmanageable. I have all sorts of papers, boxes and boxes of old magazines, bills (both paid and unpaid), knick-knacks,...	Becky1	6	888	Nov 16, 2008 by drucilla06
	The busy little worker in my heart (Preview) I have this little movie that plays in my head of a sweet, warm, trusting, balanced little girl in my heart. She works all day long on the wall. It comes all the way down when I am around my brother and family. She replaces it brick by brick as I move into public. Makes little peepholes by taking out certain b...	Jennifer	8	520	Nov 16, 2008 by drucilla06
	Thank you for helping me along the way (Preview) One of my first problems when I started this program, was the "do something good for yourself" concept. I drew a complete blank. After alot of thinking, I decided it was taking a nice hot BATH. It cost me nothing, didn't require me leaving the house, and let others in my life see that I was s...	LEEA	3	389	Nov 16, 2008 by nmike
	emotions: numb vs void (Preview) I often chuckle when others write that they have a long post - they haven't seen long yet! as I can write a short novel if I really let myself loose. I seem to have these rushes of many light bulbs going off at once until I am exhausted and need to rest to absorb it all. Along the journey into chaos & insa...	ddub	3	1676	Nov 16, 2008 by drucilla06
	Feel Like a part of me is dying (Preview) So a few weeks after celebrating my 1st wedding anniversary, I have started the divorce process..And it is killing me. I love my husband so much but not sure if I can stay...In short time we have been married, he has relapsed 4 times. First time I drove him to rehab... He had asked for help. The next 2 times...	Sad Wife	5	1416	Nov 16, 2008 by nmike
	Time and Attention (Preview) Can I love myself enough to stand side by side and face to face with HP 24/7? Can I stand that much goodness and attention and unconditional love and acceptance? I have been thinking lately about how I choose people in my life who are either unavailable or unsafe. Usually unavailable. And how I ofte...	Jean4444	5	426	Nov 16, 2008 by drucilla06
	acting and reacting (Preview) I've been reacting a lot lately. Mostly to my aunt and other people that come into the store where I work with a bad attitude. But, then I end up being the one with a bad attitude. I realize that reacting is a choice and yes sometimes my emotions carry me away with anger and frustration and I say things I regr...	christinajeanne	2	378	Nov 16, 2008 by maire rua
	Family bereavement (Preview) Dear All, Stepmother A died at 5.30 this morning. I contacted her daughters and broke the news to them. She was a good person with a nasty disease, and I am not talking about the cancer. I know my father will find it hard to carry on without her and I only hope he doesn't drown it all with drink but I think he wi...	maire rua	11	550	Nov 16, 2008 by Karilynn
	dealing with my pride (Preview) Had a wonderful meeting on gratitude last night and a nice meeting with my sponsor. Came home to sabatoge myself. And why do I do that? Thurs night I got the distinct feeling my AH (soon-to-be-ex I hope!) was lying. Happened in a brief exchange. Overall didn't matter, but just a continuation and remi...	Loupiness	2	537	Nov 16, 2008 by smileycat
	I feel like I died inside, having a hard time getting it together....sorry so long... (Preview) I wanted to post yesterday but couldn't get myself together enough, though I know the help/support I need is here. I am having the worst time I've had in soooo long and feel like I died inside yesterday. ABF called yesterday at 10 and asked me to lunch, all happy and laughing etc. We hadn't spoke...	shellyj123	2	1752	Nov 16, 2008 by LEEA
	In a spin...not sure what to do? (Preview) I am in a spin. I separated from my alcoholic husband 3 years ago and we have 3 children together. Because of the children we see him regularly and there have been very little problems. But over the past two weeks, he seems to have lost the plot. He came to me asking for money because he was broke, I refused...	bluerose	3	473	Nov 16, 2008 by LEEA
	the pain/agony of starting recovery process all over again (Preview) Dear ESH Family: I have been away from all of you since approximately 5/2007 due to a very serious accident and loss of my internet due to financial reasons. I have missed you terribly. I am a recovering Al-Anon and a recovering AA as well. A 38-year old mom of a beautiful 14-year old son named Jonathan a...	Kateri	5	534	Nov 16, 2008 by christinajeanne
	So confused.......... (Preview) Hello: This is my first post. I've been to al-anon meetings twice. I've been married for 33 years and just under two months ago I finally left him. I couldn't stand the stress, tension and his drinking any longer. Now he's given up the whiskey but continues to drink beer. He wants me to come home. I know h...	4536056357611703	10	1696	Nov 15, 2008 by Sad Wife
	Being NEW, 3 C's & Acceptance by Lacewing (Preview) I remember my 'new days'....they were riddled with confusion, frustration, anger and fear... some of those feelings are still with me... 'acceptance' seemed easy when I found alanon accepting that my life was unmanageable was without a doubt.... accepting that 'something was drastically w...	Peggy7	0	2616	Nov 15, 2008 by Peggy7
	Boundaries, Detachment - I need them and how do I get them (Preview) I had an revelation today. I need to set some boundaries and learn how to detach and let others take care of themselves - but I don't know how to do it. It's Friday and I had a long day at work - found myself running errands to pick up supper, cat food and horse feed. My AH is now on his 8th day of deer hunt...	slowlearner	3	2887	Nov 15, 2008 by nmike
	AL ANON; the medicine I've been looking for (Preview) Hi everyone, I just wanted to share on a positive note. At my f2f meeting last week I started sharing on what AlAnon meant to me. I work in the medical field and after trying to explain the life altering way this program has touched me I used this analogy: for me it was like 20 yrs of going to dr. after dr. not k...	masspedirn	3	430	Nov 15, 2008 by Shari
	finally done something positive (Preview) After joining AA last Tuesday, i have also ordered some books about being the adult child of an alcoholic. should come next week. My thoughts have been driving me crazy this last week but I didnt have anybody to listen at the time. I am writing a letter to my alcoholic mother, to make me feel better. Dont s...	bluejack	2	463	Nov 15, 2008 by Jean4444
	Awareness, Acceptance, Action (Preview) I was reading a friend's blog and it made me think of this. I am well aware of who I am when I don't like myself, which is pretty much all the time. My opinions, my stubbornness, my neediness, my self sabotoging behavior, on and on...When I started thinking about it though, I came upon an "aha" m...	seekingserenity	4	3420	Nov 15, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Bad four day (Preview) Hi All will i have had a few bad day here as my A is back to drinking, however I am have some light t the end. Was told yesterday that his counslors are trying to put him in his own place. Bad part it may take four to six week to get him in. I can not wait looking to see how we can get away for him. I have no family up h...	smileycat	1	302	Nov 15, 2008 by Jennifer
	Getting thoughts and actions in sync (Preview) One of my greatest struggles during this recovery process has been the acknowlegement that what I know in my head, and how I react/respond,have not been in sync with each other. I have always been somewhat of a realistic and based my actions on common sense, logic, and "doing the right thing&qu...	Loupiness	3	575	Nov 14, 2008 by Rocky38
	Why? (Preview) Hi MIP family. It's been a tough week. I started out feeling strong. Detached with love from the drama of my AH, managing to care for him in his illness, yet not losing it because he is still drinking. Keeping my sanity and not contributing to a "crazy house". Yet, my serenity took a beating o...	Rocky38	6	629	Nov 14, 2008 by Rocky38
	Ghosts of the past and parental judgement. (Preview) I never realised what the death of a second parent would do to me, and it has caused me to be all over the place. The fact that I had not seen my father for nine years was in itself traumatic and whilst he was alive I had hope, when I heard that he had died I felt utterly hopeless. It also brought up so...	Suzannah	2	461	Nov 14, 2008 by Jen
	I could use some hugs today (Preview) Well, yesterday I finally went to see my primary care physician. Although I had gotten over the sore throat/chills, there were other health issues cropping up. My last MRI revealed that not only do I have bulging disks in the area of the spinal stenosis, but I also have bone spurs in that area, which cre...	Tenderheartsks	15	533	Nov 14, 2008 by Jen
	Let go and let god (Preview) When I let go and let God things are more peaceful and go more smoothly. Lately I've been trying to control other people and today I realize it's made me frustrated and exhausted. I've learned I have no control over other people and trying is a waste of time that I could be using to enjoy my life. I've been t...	christinajeanne	1	883	Nov 14, 2008 by bluejack
	When did I become needy??????UGHHHH (Preview) I have ALWAYS been superindependant, super in control and in need of no one-I kept it that way after my divorce from active A. Now with new ABF I find myself "needing" him and what he has to offer through his serenity and I HATE it. I don't know how to deal with it and it is driving a wedge bet...	shellyj123	7	722	Nov 14, 2008 by kitty
	hi! (Preview) hi everyone....i am new to this, so, i hope this doesn't sound silly. my name is roxanne and i am 28 yrs old. my A is my husband and boy has he put me thru hell the past year or so. i'll start with my husband is more addicted to drugs, mainly meth and cocaine, than anything. but he does like his beer. and no...	roxanne	6	558	Nov 14, 2008 by LEEA
	many layers of giving ourself away (Preview) Over a year ago before I started al anon my emotions were just numb to avoid anymore pain. Early on in the program I started hearing about co dependency which I had just as strong denial for as I did re AH. I have a very judgemental & opininated MIL who was a child psych/school counselor who labeled...	ddub	3	568	Nov 14, 2008 by christinajeanne
	tuesday share hope and joy (Preview) I guess sometimes like today was really frustrating for me. I worked for my aunt and she had an attitude with me all day again today. I have been good about not letting it bother me but had a slip today. I got frustrated and then I got an attitude. I realized it said the serenity prayer and calmed down. Then I...	christinajeanne	3	523	Nov 14, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Scared to confront AH warrant for arrest, what to do? (Preview) A few weeks back my AH threw a huge tantrum and destroyed the better part of our home. The cops came, yadda, yadda and now he has a warrant for his arrest. We have a marriage counseling session tomorrow and I've been thinking about telling him about the warrant for his arrest at the session. I'm terrified...	angelchar375	11	673	Nov 13, 2008 by angelchar375
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.