The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Why do ACOA 'characteristics' get worse? Does it snowball as we get older or is it just because lately the (recovering?)alcoholic parent in my life is just being beyond reason? That woman could make a funeral all about her.
In a nutshell, untreated diseases progress. Plain and simple. Just my two cents. Alcoholism/Al-anonism/ACOA-ism is a disease, no doubt about it. Hugs, J.
My experence shows that the damage the drinking has done to their body and minds does make their symtoms even worse. Another side effect seems to be the people that use to "be there for them", (other A's) are either getting treatment, or they are as in as bad a shape as they are. The children are also adults now, and are starting to understand that they dont have to take what is being dished out like they had to when they were kids.
Personally I think it is up and down. I know also for me I really have to be careful who I hang out with. I have to set tremendous limits around being around certain dysfunctional people.
The saying goes that "you are where you are at the moment" Of course you can change the pronoun to "they" and just get a different point of reference. Acceptance helps me tons when I start judging and wondering why the "other" whom ever they are, is how I want or expect them to me and if when that happens I get an Aha! I'm placing the responsibility for my happiness and serenity on another person and I am doomed to fail especially if I have been giving them reasons to do me in. Practicing acceptance puts the fun back into my life after I had decided that fun and happiness wasn't as exciting as judging, blaming, self centeredness and all that other sick stuff I use to do. I was taught years ago by an Alateen that "happiness is an inside job". After that lesson I rarely ever made another person, alcoholic or not responsible for my spiritual and emotional condition.
Keep coming back cause it works when you work it. (((((hugs)))))
