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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> ACCEPTANCE IS the answer to ALL my problems today
Post Info TOPIC: ACCEPTANCE IS the answer to ALL my problems today
hopeful123


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ACCEPTANCE IS the answer to ALL my problems today
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In my last post, someone responded with the quote:
ACCEPTANCE IS the answer to ALL my problems today.

This speaks VOLUMES to me today.  My ex ABF has taken it upon himself to try to put me over the edge this week, either purposefully or not.  I have no idea.  He contacted me Monday. Tuesday.  Wednesday.  And today.  This is the most contact we've had since he lived here, three months ago.  And each time we spoke, I held it together for the most part, but today, I lost it.  Not when we spoke, but after.  I don't know why he called.  I don't know why he emailed.  He keeps telling me the same thing OVER AND OVER: You have more in your life than a person could wish for.  Be free of my problems.  I cannot take you down with me.... 

I hung up with him and tried to stay together.  I did my best, and then the tears started.  I just feel so betrayed by him.  We had such a loving relationship.  We shared everything.  We talked all the time.  We used to talk about everything and anything.  We never hid our feelings.  And now, we say little words with big meanings, or we say nothing at all, or we are defensive and upset, etc.  It's horrendous.  It really is.  

He was supposed to call at 5:30 to see if I was home so he could pick up something.  Mind you, he was just here yesterday to pick something up.  I don't know what that's all about.  I honestly feel like he's trying to tell me something or maybe he's just surprised that my reactions to him are so different than they once were that he keeps popping up.  What I do know is that he is toxic to me.  I hear from him or see him and I feel like I lose time.  

In my last post, someone replied with the quote above and also added the following.  I am going to print this and keep it close to me because it is the most honest statement I can repeat to myself right now.  

"When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation-some FACT of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I ACCEPT that person, place, thing or situation as being EXACTLY the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

NOTHING, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy."

What an amazing thing...to be able to throw my hands up and say, "What's happening is happening bc is has to.  This is the way it is supposed to be."  There is great comfort in that for me.  I hope it makes a difference to someone else, too.  

Thank you for all of your support and care. smile


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Mariner


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Hi (((Hopeful)))

Thanks for your share

When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation-some FACT of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I ACCEPT that person, place, thing or situation as being EXACTLY the way it is supposed to be at this moment.


I am struggling with acceptance at the moment. I have to get honest with myself and my Abf, its so hard. I am suffering because I know I've been operating outside of the truth and this is causing me great anxiety. I have saved your post so that I can keep reading it. I seem to lose all clarity when I see my partner, I just cant seem to do anything let alone focus on me.

I hope you are ok, I know how painful this is.

Take care  with love Carol

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Rita G


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Something else that helped with with Acceptance and the part that absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake - is the thought that

Absolutely nothing surprises the God of my understanding!!

My HP is never sitting thinking - "Good Gravy, I never saw that coming"

He knows what is going to come my way - He has a will and a plan for my life - He has a way prepared for the bumps and curves that hit me in my life that I am not prepared for.

He is ready, willing and able to help me, All I have to do is Accept and Ask.

Just what helps me with acceptance.

HUGS,
Rita


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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK - teamwork.gif
maresie


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I presume you know that this is page 441 of the Big Book. 

Detaching is such an art form.  You can learn how to do that. There are some instructions on www.coping. org.  Above all you need to practice. Then it doesn't matter what he feels, needs, does you can de-tach.  It is such an incredible tool please give it a go.
Maresie.

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maresie
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