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took another stand this time he had not been drinking
(Preview)
I decided that I needed to talk to my abf again yesterday after my soap box performance the night before to find out how much sank in and what was is honest thoughts. He aggreed we needed to talk so this was not hard and I decieded not to harp on things or repeat it if he remembers and suprising enough he did...
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wjwcalifgirl
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3
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714
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Will Al-Anon kick me out???
(Preview)
I posted my first message earlier today and I got very, very good advise. However, I was not strong enough to follow your excellent advise. When my daughter called and begged me if she could come here and stay until her new place was ready(10 very long days), I said "OK". Her husband kicked...
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clara
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19
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1737
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Another birthday girl!
(Preview)
WE HAVE ANOTHER BIRTHDAY GIRL - A ST. PATRICK'S BIRTHDAY! LET US ALL RAISE OUR TO OUR LOVELY BECKY! WOOHOO! YOU'RE A VERY BEAUTIFUL 21 YEAR OLD! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BECKY! REMEMBER CALORIES DON'T COUNT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY WEEK. SO YOU CAN GO AHEAD HAVE YOUR AND EAT IT TOO! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND EXTRA SPEC...
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Karilynn
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7
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424
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
(Preview)
Happy Birthday Glad Lee!!!! I'm glad you were born Have a wonderful day!!
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Christy
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8
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452
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February Business Meeting Minutes
(Preview)
February Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held on February 8th 2009 Chair opened the meeting with moment of silence followed by the serenity Prayer Vote for January Business Meeting Minutes - Voted on and accepted Treasurers Report was passed as an agenda item as we do not have a Treasurer ...
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ernie
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5
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511
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Date night
(Preview)
Good day MIP family~ Woke up early and thought I would stop by and let you know that the date with EXABF went well. We had a nice dinner, watched a movie and he went home. We didn't discuss anything as far as us or reconciling or anything-though he did say something about if we decided to keep seeing one ano...
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shellyj123
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0
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359
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Back on the Roller Coaster
(Preview)
I'm piggy backing off my last post Boundaries and Expectations. I'm up the creek again. I seen the recovering A this morning coincidentally. He avoided calling and texting yesterday. This morning when I confronted him, he told me that he is starting to care too much and has to slow things down. WTF?? I...
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Saved By Grace
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9
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556
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I have no control
(Preview)
And thanks to Al Anon I'm learning to live with this. I can only control MY actions and decisions. I'm new here and just wanted to share this thought. My AH is in rehab (first time) and just called me last night saying he's going to be coming home soon(can be there up to 90 days - it's only been 17 days since...
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Goodtillitsbad
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7
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499
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Starting over~fearless
(Preview)
For those of you who are reading this......I decided to change my screen name, and have a bit more anonimity(?)....this is shellyj123, and today is the first day of Spring:). I'm starting over with a fresh start, and thought a new name would be nice. Spent yesterday rereading all of my old posts and wa...
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spirited1
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2
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583
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Another scarey uncertain day
(Preview)
AD was supposed to come to my house yesterday until her apartment was ready. Well, as it turns out, there still is no apartment. She may go stay with her sister in law instead, but that will not be available until about 10 days. Daughter did not show up; claims a migraine headache. So, anyway, here we...
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clara
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5
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895
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Seedlings of possibility
(Preview)
I don't recall where I found this but it was saved in my computer. It seemed appropriate for the first day of spring and members of Alanon. We've been tending our Sacred Garden. It is now giving rise to Dream seeds -- ones planted with Faith Wisdom, watered with our tears of Joy and Gratitude, and tender...
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Christy
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1
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371
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need a little info
(Preview)
hi wonderful family. i have a question ,hoping you can help me with. a is coming out of hospital tomorrow ,after being in 4 days of detoxation. he does seem alot more focused ,and has agreed to go to AA. has anyone had a sucess with this,its his first time,i have learned not to build any hopes up here,but wo...
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ollie
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1
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555
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Help to go to mtgs
(Preview)
I am very old, and very computer illiterate, I am having trouble getting to the Cht/Mtg room can any one help Thank you
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ranbrew
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3
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423
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signed up for co-dependency program
(Preview)
I met with therapist and signed up to complete a co-dependence program put on through my health provider -kaiser- this can take up 2 2 months once a week but they give me 4 months to complete. She gave me a questionier to see if I am co-dependent. well out of 19 questions where you answer yes, no or somet...
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wjwcalifgirl
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4
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550
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Why cant people enjoy life and eachother without being intoxicated?
(Preview)
I have been married 19 years in July and my husbands awakening moment happened 12-31-04 when he got pulled over for a DWI. He quit drinking and did very well for several years. We bought a new home in May 2008 and our neighbors are alcoholics and drink all the time. My husband started going over there a...
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lisdeanne
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5
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477
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update on all
(Preview)
Dear All, Have been reading your posts but not posting much. Have had a lot of hassle with teenage son who is testing his boundaries but that happens, right, he got to me the other night and I stormed off, planning to go to the pub, but I caught myself on, turned around and came home and had a great night watc...
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maire rua
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2
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434
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What's wrong with me? Negative self-talk!
(Preview)
Hi MIP family!
I recently found myself asking the question, what's wrong with me?
Many are aware that last year stood out for many reasons. The good (my progress in recovery), the bad (my AH progressive disease) and the ugly (near death of AH). Yet, I felt that with the grace of my HP, life still held...
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Rocky38
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9
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644
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tryin
(Preview)
just need to get things off my chest im tryin not to be angry but that is the way it has been here for the last few days A is drinkin more and more everyday he is blamin me for everything when he gets to tha point of drunkness and im tryin to maintain and not get in an agurment with him i dont like the way i feel...
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Annie69
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5
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839
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Its just :Meagain"
(Preview)
Tks for the replies from yesterday. Well I got up this morning and the phone ran and it was my son again... He has racoons at his place and was laughing about them and asking what I think he should do about them. THat was just fine--no problem.=, he was in a good mood.......THen he starts the drama.....(h...
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meagain
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4
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438
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Good day, bad day...
(Preview)
Yesterday I felt so much stronger, busy trying to find a lodger, applying for a little part time admin job to supplement my now frightening low income (no help from my AH who said he had contributed enough recently!) I felt ok, met my friend for an early glass of wine, took my dog with me, I feel better when...
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Lilly Burn
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3
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688
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For Ms. Shelly123... :) & Spirited1
(Preview)
((((hugs to Ms. Shelly)))) & ((((Spirited1)))) :o) I Just wanted to wish you a Beautiful Day, of Happiness, and Hope that your Spring Date was/is everything you Did Not Expect It To Be :) ... Enjoy your day, enjoy your Steps, and enjoy your "Recovery"... One Day At A Time :) I will make...
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Jozie
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0
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366
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12 step program for cats
(Preview)
(((Family))), Okay here you go a program for us cat codependents. Thanks to our David for sharing it with me. It's too funny to keep to myself: 12 STEP PROGRAM FOR "CATS SYNDROME"1. We admitted we were powerless over CATS - that our lives had become unmanageable. C2. Came to believe that...
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Karilynn
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2
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4869
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continuing problem it seems
(Preview)
this always seems like a continuin problem with my youngest son who will be 34 in June. He is doing good...but times are now getting tough as you all know....and he always calls me to complain Re: his truck broke down, no $$$ (he has always made big $$$)-well its always something. Sometimes he calls and...
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meagain
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5
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428
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Need to clarify a post made last week~
(Preview)
I want to go back and make a clarification on a post I made last week entitled Boundaries and Expectations. I wrote in there that EXABF wrote and told me many times that he wanted a future with me. I do believe I even quoted that and I was wrong. I do not remember well anymore, and would like to apologize...
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shellyj123
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1
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434
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Registered for the Retreat! yeah!!
(Preview)
Okay, I registered for the retreat that will be on the 27 28 29 of this month. I'm looking forward to it. I do admit I am having a little anexity too! But it's all good. On another note, tomorrow is Friday. The deadline I set for my A to be in inpatient treatment or I was filing for divorce. It appears tha...
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Sincerely
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3
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774
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Once again requesting prayers...
(Preview)
Thsi time it is for my extended family, a person who prayed for me during my cancer experience and continues to pray for me to this day. His name is Don, on Monday his heart rate went down to 25 bpm and then they found out that he had had a mild heart attach and then Wednesday they did triple bypass surgery. He...
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wildthang86
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5
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687
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Ashamed to admit
(Preview)
I have a mouth, when someone has wronged me or my family I spew nasty resentments at every opportunity including creating times when nothing at all has prompted it. Last night was yet another example of my judgment spewing. Our son was feeling bad for a friend who has no job, can get no job in today's ec...
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Peggy7
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9
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1063
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Its all about the focus!
(Preview)
I can go into self pity and victimization very very quickly. There is no question for me that the relationship with the ex A left me in a huge amount of debt and to a certain extent "stuck" with what that means. Being resourceful can be an option for me sometimes but only when I stop out of the vi...
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maresie
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4
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589
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Rock Bottom????
(Preview)
I've heard that an A usually doesn't want to seek help until they hit "rock bottom". What is rock bottom? My children's father was told at the age of 23, while being hospitalized for an inflamed liver was told that if he didn't quit drinking the way he was, he'd probably live for only 10 more ye...
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mairmair09
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12
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1555
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How do you edit a post once it is posted to the boards?
(Preview)
needed to edit a post from last week, saw a correction i needed to make.....is this possible? I see where posts have been edited but i can't figure it out.... thanks shelly
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shellyj123
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2
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472
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Early sobriety
(Preview)
Morning everyone! My Abf competed treatment, is home and what a roller coaster it has been. Up and down his moods change constantly and he is so frustrated trying to put his life back together from damage caused during relapses. I am trying to work my program, seperate what is his vs what is mine and s...
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inhisarms
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3
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663
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About being "kicked out"
(Preview)
When I read Clara's post, I thought "awww honey" And after a pause, I thought I'd pose this question to my MIP AFG: How did you learn to get past the feelings of "I'm a failure in Al Anon!"? Or "I failed Al Anon school!" I still have to work on this. I still feel ashamed wh...
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Tiger2006
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4
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904
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A decision long overdue
(Preview)
In July of 08 I first came to alanon a huge mess. Alanon has helped me clear up my vision. I was advised not to make a major decision for at least 6 months after coming to alanon. Well, its 8 months.....my thoughts are the same....I'm ready to have a life without my A Hubby. He's been going to AA and is sti...
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Sincerely
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4
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622
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New to this board and need help desperately
(Preview)
I am a member of Al-Anon and they have been a great help to me. However, I need advise ASAP and too early to call my sponsor. My 37 year old daughter is an alcholic and probably has a drug problem to go along with it. Her husband has kicked her out of the house. He filed for divorce yesterday. He has agreed...
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clara
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8
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547
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I can't do this for another 3 days~ Need some ESH from my MIP family~HELP!
(Preview)
I don't know what my problem is today. I tried HALT and it is none of the above but I still feel "off". I'm in a good mood, and a good place I think, but am getting a bit nerveous over the upcoming date with EXABF. I asked him in an email if he was nerveous and he said he was because he had never had...
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shellyj123
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7
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700
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Release: I know exactly why I got into that relationship
(Preview)
I chose to get into that relationship before allowing my heart & mind to heal from the previous one. I also tend to choose men that are similar to my father who was also an alcoholic. I couldn't save my dad so I guess I was trying to save other men I got close to. Took me a long time to learn that people c...
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exhausted_imp
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8
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564
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Serenity Prayer for Pets
(Preview)
((((Family)))), I came across this on a plaque. I couldn't resist it. Hope you have a wonderful day! SERENITY PRAYER FOR PETS: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE OWNERS, I CANNOT TRAIN, COURAGE TO TRAIN THE OWNERS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! I always knew that they were the ones tr...
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Karilynn
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5
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851
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Boundaries & Expectations
(Preview)
Hi All, I have been dating a Recovering A for the last few weeks. Wow! Its been really great! We have alot in common, so our conversation is always great and we laugh alot and have a great time together. I was not crossing the line with him sexually as I didn't want to rush things and wanted to build a solid re...
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Saved By Grace
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14
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800
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Stuck in this moment
(Preview)
My life has been moving very fast the last few yrs. I think it has been a long time since I stopped and came to the message board. However I feel it is something I am going to be needing to do a lot more in the near future. As many may have already heard.....my Mom passed away Saturday night. She had been battli...
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stillkickin
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17
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3377
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Please help
(Preview)
Ny 29y/o son is dying of chirrosis. He needs a liver transplant but of course cant get one. I am trying so hard to stand back. I have told him not to contact me unless he is ready to get help. So I sit here and wait for a phone call saying he is dead.
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ranbrew
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7
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530
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Pickin up the pieces....
(Preview)
Hi All.... As most of you know I had a minor melt down the other day when my son was missing his pap pap, My Afather, (deseased)... I have sence found my ground again, and thank you for all the shared your ESH with me and took the time to respond... It was most grateful... I did learn a few things from the exper...
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Jozie
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3
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482
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health issues
(Preview)
During my last two years with the ex A he had two major health issues. At some points he embraced the idea of getting better wholeheartedly. Nevertheless when he was depressed he would schuttle everything and I'm sure taking drugs made him much worse. Needless to say he also didn't give up smoking or...
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maresie
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5
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540
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Seems everyone knew but me!!
(Preview)
Ive posted this onGetting them sober site too, but thought someone might have more words of wisdom here too. My AH has flown off back to the west indies to his new life yesterday, a hard and tearful day for me. Then I find out last night, that he had been telling our mutual best friends and who knows who else...
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Lilly Burn
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8
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590
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HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!
(Preview)
((((Family)))), Just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! Although I am not Irish, I do love my corned beef, potatoes and the sweaters. It has always been a dream of mine to go to Ireland. My favorite color happens to be green (along with pumpkin). Irish music is played he...
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Karilynn
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4
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519
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New here-need help with my pill addict
(Preview)
My son(age 21) is addicted to pills. I need any advice that I can get. I know I handle things all wrong. I have helped him out so many times and when I finally stopped financally he started stealing. Stealing cash, checks from the back of my personal and business accounts, stealing my ATm cards and get...
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ZachsMom
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7
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512
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Once agian my wind is gone :(
(Preview)
Well.... LAst night went from having all my power to being powerless over thee very next moment...I was sit'n here sharing and reading ESH from all my MIP family, while my son was get'n in the shower and get'n ready for bed. I was sitting in my chair ESH'n. and when my son gets out of the shower and sits on t...
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Jozie
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3
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504
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A smile to start the morning....
(Preview)
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to s...
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shellyj123
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1
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353
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Happy Birthday to (drumroll)
(Preview)
TEA!!!! Have a wonderful day!!!!
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Christy
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11
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555
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Stressed? Try this
(Preview)
Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique used traditionally in Sicily. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile. 1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream. 2. Picture yourself with both...
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Christy
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5
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452
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I should know better
(Preview)
I should know better than to let my A get to me. I am a drug and alcohol counselor in a residential facility. I have been married to an A for 5 years. He had 70 plus days of sobriety beginning Dec. 1 of 2008. On Valentines day it all started going sour. He is currently living an hour away. He phones so often som...
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lostcadc
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10
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897
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So he called me last night...
(Preview)
My ex A called me last night on my cell phone (I didn't give him the number and asked ex MIL not to either) and surprisingly I didn't recognize his voice and when he said my name I said yes this is her - awaiting him to tell me who it was. He sounded shocked and disappointed about that. Anyway, he asked when he...
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carolinagirl
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4
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531
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Sometimes we need a catalyst to come to a decision
(Preview)
I've been on and off with my A for over a decade. I've been in Alanon for 5 years and have learned a lot in that time. A couple of months ago I got diagnosed with a muscular disease and after coming out of the depression that caused I started making some plans to adapt to my health. One of those plans was to e...
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exhausted_imp
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6
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474
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avoiding catastrophe
(Preview)
One of my dogs is getting up there. She's showing lots of signs of age. Her walks are are lot shorter and she is definitely aging fast. Before al anon I would make this into a catastophe try to force her to get better. Now we take lots of nice short walkies with room for rest. Of course I have to avoid those...
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maresie
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7
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549
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Child custody issues....
(Preview)
In the beginning of last month, I went to court with my children's father to modify our child custody order. My children's father suffers from alcoholism. I've never known anyone so dependent on alcohol in my life. I was hoping that the judge would order that his visists with the children be supervise...
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mairmair09
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7
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503
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A Year of Looking Back....and forward!
(Preview)
Today I have been thinking a lot about my life, and where I've been, and where I'm going. It's been a wild trip so far....I turn 55 tomorrow. Maybe that's why I'm thinking.... After 4 failed marriages, I married the one man I thought I would love forever. An A. Who turned out to be an abusive, violent A...
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Becky1
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6
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554
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A story of alcoholism and abuse
(Preview)
This is such a sad story and unfortunately all too familiar. I saw it in the Anchorage newspaper. This was a once vibrant woman caught up in a codependent /abuse situation. It's a well written story of her decline. For anyone that is in this situation, please read it. Killer stole victim's spark, t...
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Christy
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5
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494
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chatroom back up and running!!
(Preview)
woo hoo thanks all great to be back on java belle1 hugs
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belle1
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2
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332
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Prayers and Love please..
(Preview)
One of our long time members, stillkickin, lost his Mom last night, suddenly and unexpectedly. Prayers and lots of uplifting thoughts and love are needed at this time for this young man and his family. ((((love you buzz)))) Do not stand at my grave and weep,I am not there, I do not sleep.I am in a thousa...
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Christy
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16
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546
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Working past obsession, projection, and expectations~
(Preview)
After a rather topsy turvy week last week I feel much more grounded today. Last week I was letting the upcoming date with EXABF work on and test every part of my program. Thanks to my program, my HP, my MIP family and my sponsor I do believe I passed:) Two of my worst character traits are obsessing a...
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shellyj123
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3
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393
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Thanks for sharing!
(Preview)
It has been over a week since I got on this site. Missed getting on--even though I didn't have a whole lot to share. Thanks for all who shared on the topic of staying on topic. I am glad that I am always accepted even if I do ramble and seem to get off topic often. I hope you all benefitted from the share I did...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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374
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