Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

deserve_more · deserve_more

The disease has really taken control - at least many cancers are curable or fought into remission. AH does nothing but drink around the clock, and doesn't seem to think that's wrong. As long as I don't confront him, any words we exchange are about the weather or 'look how cute the dog/cat is'. If I dare ev...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Yesterday I went to my home group meeting- sundays at 9AM. There was a woman there I had not seen before. She was an old timer and in both programs. I really loved what she said when it was time to share. I went up to her and told her so and gave her my card with my phone numbers on it. She gave me hers. She c...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, Son has started smoking and drinking aged 15, being very difficult and it is turning into an intolerable situation, am barely getting by with it, as he is quite abusive, send on your prayers please, I need to get things sorted,

wjwcalifgirl · wjwcalifgirl

last night was a long long night for me. Started about 2 pm in the afternoon when my abf told me his friend ( one and only friend he has) was comming by. Now I have no problem with his friend nice guy. Well his friend stopped by and picked up some beer and scotch. ( friend does not drink scotch - and knows tha...

clara · clara

Yesterday I told AD she could not come here. This was her last option and it did not work out as she had hoped it would. So, I guess she see rock bottom from where she was at. A gentleman friend of her family is making phone calls and her blank, blank, blank, husband is finally willing to let go of some of hi...

JS · JS

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42727&p=3&topicID=24935869

Jozie · Jozie

Well got up this morning did my reading, and put out a post, and thought... WHELP... Time to get the ball rolling on finish off "what I can" of what has to be paid off and done my June with it comes to Desease Afathers belongs... Wanted to get a jump on things...Soooo paid off the water bill, and...

Ilovemydaughter · Ilovemydaughter

My daughter is an AH and drug addict. She is spiraling out of control. I believe that death may be in her near future as it seems like this may be her only rock bottom. I am frustrated because everyone tells me .. there's nothing I can do. She is 21 years old and has been to rehab .. attended AA .. had a spon...

clara · clara

I did want I have been going to Al-Anon for and coming to this board. I phoned daughter and told her she could not come here. I do not think she was shocked. I think she saw it coming. She said Brad was sending the divorce papers to our house. I will "return to sender". I am completely ou...

lucky · lucky

I don't have much experience with addiction. My xabf is my son's father, and is the only a in my life, to my knowledge. I recently broke it off, for the billionth time. I have been along for the ride, for the most part, and didn't really recognize how much it affected ME until I was pregnant. I started to rea...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi all... I am try'n out a New F2F tonight, kind of excited, because if all goes well then I know I can go there this summer when I wont be able to get to my "home" F2F... So crossing my fingers for a good night... I was babysitn Fri. so didn't get to get to my usual one, so this worked out perfect f...

clara · clara

I am the person that wondered if Al-Anon would kick me out for not following through on my promises. Well, this has probably been one of the worse days of my life. I called my AD and told her she could under no circumstances come to our house. She is now completely out of options. I have cried a river of te...

Tracy · Tracy

Met my Ab in a local park I was feeling so strong knew he was not going to change my mind he told he he loved me didnt want to loose me. told me it was mad that I was running from him just as he is finally ready to look at himself. to cut a long story short he said he wants to go to aa but has needed time to accept his p...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

After a very low day on Friday, all day in bed nearly, feeling desparately low...which is when I last posted, Saturday I started my new very small part time job at a lovely womenswear designer shop in town working with my friend. Had a good day, came home tired, ate (thats something thats coming back aft...

Holly09 · Holly09

I haven't posted here but once, I've been so busy with the kids and finally going to the gym (doing something for myself). After almost 7 years with my A boyfriend I feel like I'm in this relationship by myself most of the time. Part of it is because he works 2nd shift and 6-7 days a week, but when he is home...

Tracy · Tracy

I think I have finally accepted that I carnt change, fix or make over my boyfriend. for 4 years I have been insanly focusing on his life trying to turn him into another person. HE IS WHO HE IS ACCEPT IT he does have probs with drnk nothing I can do. so what does this leave me with I dont want a lifelike this. I d...

ollie · ollie

hi mip family. my A has been in hospital for 4 days detoxing,he seems alot more focused. he is promising to go to AA. this is his first time. has anyone had any success with this. i know better than to build up any kind of hope. i was just wondering. love to you all ollie x

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I noticed that this weekend I have been somewhat distant from my program and HP (of course I have a tendancy to be a perfectionist in everything I do-Imagine that!:)) Part I'm sure has been because I didn't make my Friday night home meeting, part from not feeling well, and part I'm sure due to recent c...

clara · clara

I was on the phone with my sister and in near hysterics over AD. For the past 3 days daughter has been promising(threatening) to come to our house. I work myself up in a frenzy and then she does not show. Tomorrow I will call her before church and tell not to bother. Then I will throw myself upon the alte...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have found that in my new relationship I feel very needy. It's complicated because I work days and he works nights and he still lives with his parents (yes I know I know... he's young...) so that complicates things too. In the past I always rushed into relationships and then we were glued together af...

wjwcalifgirl · wjwcalifgirl

I decided that I needed to talk to my abf again yesterday after my soap box performance the night before to find out how much sank in and what was is honest thoughts. He aggreed we needed to talk so this was not hard and I decieded not to harp on things or repeat it if he remembers and suprising enough he did...

clara · clara

I posted my first message earlier today and I got very, very good advise. However, I was not strong enough to follow your excellent advise. When my daughter called and begged me if she could come here and stay until her new place was ready(10 very long days), I said "OK". Her husband kicked...

Karilynn · Karilynn

WE HAVE ANOTHER BIRTHDAY GIRL - A ST. PATRICK'S BIRTHDAY! LET US ALL RAISE OUR TO OUR LOVELY BECKY! WOOHOO! YOU'RE A VERY BEAUTIFUL 21 YEAR OLD! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BECKY! REMEMBER CALORIES DON'T COUNT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY WEEK. SO YOU CAN GO AHEAD HAVE YOUR AND EAT IT TOO! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND EXTRA SPEC...

Christy · Christy

Happy Birthday Glad Lee!!!! I'm glad you were born Have a wonderful day!!

ernie · ernie

February Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held on February 8th 2009 Chair opened the meeting with moment of silence followed by the serenity Prayer Vote for January Business Meeting Minutes - Voted on and accepted Treasurers Report was passed as an agenda item as we do not have a Treasurer ...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Good day MIP family~ Woke up early and thought I would stop by and let you know that the date with EXABF went well. We had a nice dinner, watched a movie and he went home. We didn't discuss anything as far as us or reconciling or anything-though he did say something about if we decided to keep seeing one ano...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

I'm piggy backing off my last post Boundaries and Expectations. I'm up the creek again. I seen the recovering A this morning coincidentally. He avoided calling and texting yesterday. This morning when I confronted him, he told me that he is starting to care too much and has to slow things down. WTF?? I...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

And thanks to Al Anon I'm learning to live with this. I can only control MY actions and decisions. I'm new here and just wanted to share this thought. My AH is in rehab (first time) and just called me last night saying he's going to be coming home soon(can be there up to 90 days - it's only been 17 days since...

spirited1 · spirited1

For those of you who are reading this......I decided to change my screen name, and have a bit more anonimity(?)....this is shellyj123, and today is the first day of Spring:). I'm starting over with a fresh start, and thought a new name would be nice. Spent yesterday rereading all of my old posts and wa...

clara · clara

AD was supposed to come to my house yesterday until her apartment was ready. Well, as it turns out, there still is no apartment. She may go stay with her sister in law instead, but that will not be available until about 10 days. Daughter did not show up; claims a migraine headache. So, anyway, here we...

Christy · Christy

I don't recall where I found this but it was saved in my computer. It seemed appropriate for the first day of spring and members of Alanon. We've been tending our Sacred Garden. It is now giving rise to Dream seeds -- ones planted with Faith Wisdom, watered with our tears of Joy and Gratitude, and tender...

ollie · ollie

hi wonderful family. i have a question ,hoping you can help me with. a is coming out of hospital tomorrow ,after being in 4 days of detoxation. he does seem alot more focused ,and has agreed to go to AA. has anyone had a sucess with this,its his first time,i have learned not to build any hopes up here,but wo...

ranbrew · ranbrew

I am very old, and very computer illiterate, I am having trouble getting to the Cht/Mtg room can any one help Thank you

wjwcalifgirl · wjwcalifgirl

I met with therapist and signed up to complete a co-dependence program put on through my health provider -kaiser- this can take up 2 2 months once a week but they give me 4 months to complete. She gave me a questionier to see if I am co-dependent. well out of 19 questions where you answer yes, no or somet...

lisdeanne · lisdeanne

I have been married 19 years in July and my husbands awakening moment happened 12-31-04 when he got pulled over for a DWI. He quit drinking and did very well for several years. We bought a new home in May 2008 and our neighbors are alcoholics and drink all the time. My husband started going over there a...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, Have been reading your posts but not posting much. Have had a lot of hassle with teenage son who is testing his boundaries but that happens, right, he got to me the other night and I stormed off, planning to go to the pub, but I caught myself on, turned around and came home and had a great night watc...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family! I recently found myself asking the question, what's wrong with me? Many are aware that last year stood out for many reasons. The good (my progress in recovery), the bad (my AH progressive disease) and the ugly (near death of AH). Yet, I felt that with the grace of my HP, life still held...

Annie69 · Annie69

just need to get things off my chest im tryin not to be angry but that is the way it has been here for the last few days A is drinkin more and more everyday he is blamin me for everything when he gets to tha point of drunkness and im tryin to maintain and not get in an agurment with him i dont like the way i feel...

meagain · meagain

Tks for the replies from yesterday. Well I got up this morning and the phone ran and it was my son again... He has racoons at his place and was laughing about them and asking what I think he should do about them. THat was just fine--no problem.=, he was in a good mood.......THen he starts the drama.....(h...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Yesterday I felt so much stronger, busy trying to find a lodger, applying for a little part time admin job to supplement my now frightening low income (no help from my AH who said he had contributed enough recently!) I felt ok, met my friend for an early glass of wine, took my dog with me, I feel better when...

Jozie · Jozie

((((hugs to Ms. Shelly)))) & ((((Spirited1)))) :o) I Just wanted to wish you a Beautiful Day, of Happiness, and Hope that your Spring Date was/is everything you Did Not Expect It To Be :) ... Enjoy your day, enjoy your Steps, and enjoy your "Recovery"... One Day At A Time :) I will make...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), Okay here you go a program for us cat codependents. Thanks to our David for sharing it with me. It's too funny to keep to myself: 12 STEP PROGRAM FOR "CATS SYNDROME"1. We admitted we were powerless over CATS - that our lives had become unmanageable. C2. Came to believe that...

meagain · meagain

this always seems like a continuin problem with my youngest son who will be 34 in June. He is doing good...but times are now getting tough as you all know....and he always calls me to complain Re: his truck broke down, no $$$ (he has always made big $$$)-well its always something. Sometimes he calls and...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I want to go back and make a clarification on a post I made last week entitled Boundaries and Expectations. I wrote in there that EXABF wrote and told me many times that he wanted a future with me. I do believe I even quoted that and I was wrong. I do not remember well anymore, and would like to apologize...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Okay, I registered for the retreat that will be on the 27 28 29 of this month. I'm looking forward to it. I do admit I am having a little anexity too! But it's all good. On another note, tomorrow is Friday. The deadline I set for my A to be in inpatient treatment or I was filing for divorce. It appears tha...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Thsi time it is for my extended family, a person who prayed for me during my cancer experience and continues to pray for me to this day. His name is Don, on Monday his heart rate went down to 25 bpm and then they found out that he had had a mild heart attach and then Wednesday they did triple bypass surgery. He...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

I have a mouth, when someone has wronged me or my family I spew nasty resentments at every opportunity including creating times when nothing at all has prompted it. Last night was yet another example of my judgment spewing. Our son was feeling bad for a friend who has no job, can get no job in today's ec...

maresie · maresie

I can go into self pity and victimization very very quickly. There is no question for me that the relationship with the ex A left me in a huge amount of debt and to a certain extent "stuck" with what that means. Being resourceful can be an option for me sometimes but only when I stop out of the vi...

mairmair09 · mairmair09

I've heard that an A usually doesn't want to seek help until they hit "rock bottom". What is rock bottom? My children's father was told at the age of 23, while being hospitalized for an inflamed liver was told that if he didn't quit drinking the way he was, he'd probably live for only 10 more ye...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

needed to edit a post from last week, saw a correction i needed to make.....is this possible? I see where posts have been edited but i can't figure it out.... thanks shelly

inhisarms · inhisarms

Morning everyone! My Abf competed treatment, is home and what a roller coaster it has been. Up and down his moods change constantly and he is so frustrated trying to put his life back together from damage caused during relapses. I am trying to work my program, seperate what is his vs what is mine and s...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

When I read Clara's post, I thought "awww honey" And after a pause, I thought I'd pose this question to my MIP AFG: How did you learn to get past the feelings of "I'm a failure in Al Anon!"? Or "I failed Al Anon school!" I still have to work on this. I still feel ashamed wh...

Sincerely · Sincerely

In July of 08 I first came to alanon a huge mess. Alanon has helped me clear up my vision. I was advised not to make a major decision for at least 6 months after coming to alanon. Well, its 8 months.....my thoughts are the same....I'm ready to have a life without my A Hubby. He's been going to AA and is sti...

clara · clara

I am a member of Al-Anon and they have been a great help to me. However, I need advise ASAP and too early to call my sponsor. My 37 year old daughter is an alcholic and probably has a drug problem to go along with it. Her husband has kicked her out of the house. He filed for divorce yesterday. He has agreed...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I don't know what my problem is today. I tried HALT and it is none of the above but I still feel "off". I'm in a good mood, and a good place I think, but am getting a bit nerveous over the upcoming date with EXABF. I asked him in an email if he was nerveous and he said he was because he had never had...

exhausted_imp · exhausted_imp

I chose to get into that relationship before allowing my heart & mind to heal from the previous one. I also tend to choose men that are similar to my father who was also an alcoholic. I couldn't save my dad so I guess I was trying to save other men I got close to. Took me a long time to learn that people c...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), I came across this on a plaque. I couldn't resist it. Hope you have a wonderful day! SERENITY PRAYER FOR PETS: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE OWNERS, I CANNOT TRAIN, COURAGE TO TRAIN THE OWNERS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! I always knew that they were the ones tr...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi All, I have been dating a Recovering A for the last few weeks. Wow! Its been really great! We have alot in common, so our conversation is always great and we laugh alot and have a great time together. I was not crossing the line with him sexually as I didn't want to rush things and wanted to build a solid re...

stillkickin · stillkickin

My life has been moving very fast the last few yrs. I think it has been a long time since I stopped and came to the message board. However I feel it is something I am going to be needing to do a lot more in the near future. As many may have already heard.....my Mom passed away Saturday night. She had been battli...

ranbrew · ranbrew

Ny 29y/o son is dying of chirrosis. He needs a liver transplant but of course cant get one. I am trying so hard to stand back. I have told him not to contact me unless he is ready to get help. So I sit here and wait for a phone call saying he is dead.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How to help/set boundries w/ AH who doesn't want to quit? (Preview) The disease has really taken control - at least many cancers are curable or fought into remission. AH does nothing but drink around the clock, and doesn't seem to think that's wrong. As long as I don't confront him, any words we exchange are about the weather or 'look how cute the dog/cat is'. If I dare ev...	deserve_more	7	851	Mar 24, 2009 by blender_girl
	The unconditional love of this program (Preview) Yesterday I went to my home group meeting- sundays at 9AM. There was a woman there I had not seen before. She was an old timer and in both programs. I really loved what she said when it was time to share. I went up to her and told her so and gave her my card with my phone numbers on it. She gave me hers. She c...	Jean4444	3	609	Mar 24, 2009 by Rora
	Problems with son (Preview) Dear All, Son has started smoking and drinking aged 15, being very difficult and it is turning into an intolerable situation, am barely getting by with it, as he is quite abusive, send on your prayers please, I need to get things sorted,	maire rua	7	927	Mar 24, 2009 by maire rua
	Stood my ground did not go well (Preview) last night was a long long night for me. Started about 2 pm in the afternoon when my abf told me his friend ( one and only friend he has) was comming by. Now I have no problem with his friend nice guy. Well his friend stopped by and picked up some beer and scotch. ( friend does not drink scotch - and knows tha...	wjwcalifgirl	5	978	Mar 23, 2009 by blender_girl
	Good news, good news!!! She wants to go to the hospital!!! (Preview) Yesterday I told AD she could not come here. This was her last option and it did not work out as she had hoped it would. So, I guess she see rock bottom from where she was at. A gentleman friend of her family is making phone calls and her blank, blank, blank, husband is finally willing to let go of some of hi...	clara	7	520	Mar 23, 2009 by Karilynn
	After 2 + years of sobriety founded out AH is drinking again and maybe cheating too (Preview) http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42727&p=3&topicID=24935869	JS	10	758	Mar 23, 2009 by maresie
	What a morning already! :) (Preview) Well got up this morning did my reading, and put out a post, and thought... WHELP... Time to get the ball rolling on finish off "what I can" of what has to be paid off and done my June with it comes to Desease Afathers belongs... Wanted to get a jump on things...Soooo paid off the water bill, and...	Jozie	1	486	Mar 23, 2009 by abbyal
	New & Need some help, advice, prayers! (Preview) My daughter is an AH and drug addict. She is spiraling out of control. I believe that death may be in her near future as it seems like this may be her only rock bottom. I am frustrated because everyone tells me .. there's nothing I can do. She is 21 years old and has been to rehab .. attended AA .. had a spon...	Ilovemydaughter	4	813	Mar 23, 2009 by clara
	I finally took the stand!!! (Preview) I did want I have been going to Al-Anon for and coming to this board. I phoned daughter and told her she could not come here. I do not think she was shocked. I think she saw it coming. She said Brad was sending the divorce papers to our house. I will "return to sender". I am completely ou...	clara	4	596	Mar 23, 2009 by Rora
	right or wrong answer? (Preview) I don't have much experience with addiction. My xabf is my son's father, and is the only a in my life, to my knowledge. I recently broke it off, for the billionth time. I have been along for the ride, for the most part, and didn't really recognize how much it affected ME until I was pregnant. I started to rea...	lucky	5	746	Mar 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	New Meeting Tonight :) YEAH :) (Preview) Hi all... I am try'n out a New F2F tonight, kind of excited, because if all goes well then I know I can go there this summer when I wont be able to get to my "home" F2F... So crossing my fingers for a good night... I was babysitn Fri. so didn't get to get to my usual one, so this worked out perfect f...	Jozie	2	613	Mar 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	Remember--will Al-Anon kick me out?? That was me that wrote that (Preview) I am the person that wondered if Al-Anon would kick me out for not following through on my promises. Well, this has probably been one of the worse days of my life. I called my AD and told her she could under no circumstances come to our house. She is now completely out of options. I have cried a river of te...	clara	1	548	Mar 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	unsure (Preview) Met my Ab in a local park I was feeling so strong knew he was not going to change my mind he told he he loved me didnt want to loose me. told me it was mad that I was running from him just as he is finally ready to look at himself. to cut a long story short he said he wants to go to aa but has needed time to accept his p...	Tracy	2	670	Mar 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	Good day...good day (Preview) After a very low day on Friday, all day in bed nearly, feeling desparately low...which is when I last posted, Saturday I started my new very small part time job at a lovely womenswear designer shop in town working with my friend. Had a good day, came home tired, ate (thats something thats coming back aft...	Lilly Burn	5	653	Mar 22, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Alone (Preview) I haven't posted here but once, I've been so busy with the kids and finally going to the gym (doing something for myself). After almost 7 years with my A boyfriend I feel like I'm in this relationship by myself most of the time. Part of it is because he works 2nd shift and 6-7 days a week, but when he is home...	Holly09	3	738	Mar 22, 2009 by hotrod
	acceptance (Preview) I think I have finally accepted that I carnt change, fix or make over my boyfriend. for 4 years I have been insanly focusing on his life trying to turn him into another person. HE IS WHO HE IS ACCEPT IT he does have probs with drnk nothing I can do. so what does this leave me with I dont want a lifelike this. I d...	Tracy	4	515	Mar 22, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	question (Preview) hi mip family. my A has been in hospital for 4 days detoxing,he seems alot more focused. he is promising to go to AA. this is his first time. has anyone had any success with this. i know better than to build up any kind of hope. i was just wondering. love to you all ollie x	ollie	4	579	Mar 22, 2009 by ollie
	Opening up the tool box (Preview) I noticed that this weekend I have been somewhat distant from my program and HP (of course I have a tendancy to be a perfectionist in everything I do-Imagine that!:)) Part I'm sure has been because I didn't make my Friday night home meeting, part from not feeling well, and part I'm sure due to recent c...	shellyj123	1	759	Mar 22, 2009 by Tracy
	Thank God for Sisters and friends like you!!!! (Preview) I was on the phone with my sister and in near hysterics over AD. For the past 3 days daughter has been promising(threatening) to come to our house. I work myself up in a frenzy and then she does not show. Tomorrow I will call her before church and tell not to bother. Then I will throw myself upon the alte...	clara	2	650	Mar 22, 2009 by clara
	Old habits die hard! (Preview) I have found that in my new relationship I feel very needy. It's complicated because I work days and he works nights and he still lives with his parents (yes I know I know... he's young...) so that complicates things too. In the past I always rushed into relationships and then we were glued together af...	carolinagirl	7	1006	Mar 21, 2009 by Jerry F
	took another stand this time he had not been drinking (Preview) I decided that I needed to talk to my abf again yesterday after my soap box performance the night before to find out how much sank in and what was is honest thoughts. He aggreed we needed to talk so this was not hard and I decieded not to harp on things or repeat it if he remembers and suprising enough he did...	wjwcalifgirl	3	767	Mar 21, 2009 by wjwcalifgirl
	Will Al-Anon kick me out??? (Preview) I posted my first message earlier today and I got very, very good advise. However, I was not strong enough to follow your excellent advise. When my daughter called and begged me if she could come here and stay until her new place was ready(10 very long days), I said "OK". Her husband kicked...	clara	19	1807	Mar 21, 2009 by bri4444
	Another birthday girl! (Preview) *WE HAVE ANOTHER BIRTHDAY GIRL - A ST. PATRICK'S BIRTHDAY! LET US ALL RAISE OUR TO OUR LOVELY BECKY! WOOHOO! YOU'RE A VERY BEAUTIFUL 21 YEAR OLD!* *HAPPY BIRTHDAY BECKY!* *REMEMBER CALORIES DON'T COUNT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY WEEK. SO YOU CAN GO AHEAD HAVE YOUR AND EAT IT TOO! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND EXTRA SPEC...*	Karilynn	7	470	Mar 21, 2009 by tea2
	HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! (Preview) Happy Birthday Glad Lee!!!! I'm glad you were born Have a wonderful day!!	Christy	8	499	Mar 21, 2009 by tea2
	February Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) February Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held on February 8th 2009 Chair opened the meeting with moment of silence followed by the serenity Prayer Vote for January Business Meeting Minutes - Voted on and accepted Treasurers Report was passed as an agenda item as we do not have a Treasurer ...	ernie	5	560	Mar 21, 2009 by ernie
	Date night (Preview) Good day MIP family~ Woke up early and thought I would stop by and let you know that the date with EXABF went well. We had a nice dinner, watched a movie and he went home. We didn't discuss anything as far as us or reconciling or anything-though he did say something about if we decided to keep seeing one ano...	shellyj123	0	404	Mar 21, 2009 by shellyj123
	Back on the Roller Coaster (Preview) I'm piggy backing off my last post Boundaries and Expectations. I'm up the creek again. I seen the recovering A this morning coincidentally. He avoided calling and texting yesterday. This morning when I confronted him, he told me that he is starting to care too much and has to slow things down. WTF?? I...	Saved By Grace	9	610	Mar 21, 2009 by Saved By Grace
	I have no control (Preview) And thanks to Al Anon I'm learning to live with this. I can only control MY actions and decisions. I'm new here and just wanted to share this thought. My AH is in rehab (first time) and just called me last night saying he's going to be coming home soon(can be there up to 90 days - it's only been 17 days since...	Goodtillitsbad	7	548	Mar 21, 2009 by Sincerely
	Starting over~fearless (Preview) For those of you who are reading this......I decided to change my screen name, and have a bit more anonimity(?)....this is shellyj123, and today is the first day of Spring:). I'm starting over with a fresh start, and thought a new name would be nice. Spent yesterday rereading all of my old posts and wa...	spirited1	2	630	Mar 21, 2009 by Sincerely
	Another scarey uncertain day (Preview) AD was supposed to come to my house yesterday until her apartment was ready. Well, as it turns out, there still is no apartment. She may go stay with her sister in law instead, but that will not be available until about 10 days. Daughter did not show up; claims a migraine headache. So, anyway, here we...	clara	5	945	Mar 21, 2009 by Karilynn
	Seedlings of possibility (Preview) I don't recall where I found this but it was saved in my computer. It seemed appropriate for the first day of spring and members of Alanon. We've been tending our Sacred Garden. It is now giving rise to Dream seeds -- ones planted with Faith Wisdom, watered with our tears of Joy and Gratitude, and tender...	Christy	1	420	Mar 21, 2009 by Karilynn
	need a little info (Preview) hi wonderful family. i have a question ,hoping you can help me with. a is coming out of hospital tomorrow ,after being in 4 days of detoxation. he does seem alot more focused ,and has agreed to go to AA. has anyone had a sucess with this,its his first time,i have learned not to build any hopes up here,but wo...	ollie	1	602	Mar 20, 2009 by Jozie
	Help to go to mtgs (Preview) I am very old, and very computer illiterate, I am having trouble getting to the Cht/Mtg room can any one help Thank you	ranbrew	3	471	Mar 20, 2009 by ranbrew
	signed up for co-dependency program (Preview) I met with therapist and signed up to complete a co-dependence program put on through my health provider -kaiser- this can take up 2 2 months once a week but they give me 4 months to complete. She gave me a questionier to see if I am co-dependent. well out of 19 questions where you answer yes, no or somet...	wjwcalifgirl	4	601	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	Why cant people enjoy life and eachother without being intoxicated? (Preview) I have been married 19 years in July and my husbands awakening moment happened 12-31-04 when he got pulled over for a DWI. He quit drinking and did very well for several years. We bought a new home in May 2008 and our neighbors are alcoholics and drink all the time. My husband started going over there a...	lisdeanne	5	530	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	update on all (Preview) Dear All, Have been reading your posts but not posting much. Have had a lot of hassle with teenage son who is testing his boundaries but that happens, right, he got to me the other night and I stormed off, planning to go to the pub, but I caught myself on, turned around and came home and had a great night watc...	maire rua	2	482	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	What's wrong with me? Negative self-talk! (Preview) Hi MIP family! I recently found myself asking the question, what's wrong with me? Many are aware that last year stood out for many reasons. The good (my progress in recovery), the bad (my AH progressive disease) and the ugly (near death of AH). Yet, I felt that with the grace of my HP, life still held...	Rocky38	9	695	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	tryin (Preview) just need to get things off my chest im tryin not to be angry but that is the way it has been here for the last few days A is drinkin more and more everyday he is blamin me for everything when he gets to tha point of drunkness and im tryin to maintain and not get in an agurment with him i dont like the way i feel...	Annie69	5	886	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	Its just :Meagain" (Preview) Tks for the replies from yesterday. Well I got up this morning and the phone ran and it was my son again... He has racoons at his place and was laughing about them and asking what I think he should do about them. THat was just fine--no problem.=, he was in a good mood.......THen he starts the drama.....(h...	meagain	4	485	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	Good day, bad day... (Preview) Yesterday I felt so much stronger, busy trying to find a lodger, applying for a little part time admin job to supplement my now frightening low income (no help from my AH who said he had contributed enough recently!) I felt ok, met my friend for an early glass of wine, took my dog with me, I feel better when...	Lilly Burn	3	740	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	For Ms. Shelly123... :) & Spirited1 (Preview) ((((hugs to Ms. Shelly)))) & ((((Spirited1)))) :o) I Just wanted to wish you a Beautiful Day, of Happiness, and Hope that your Spring Date was/is everything you Did Not Expect It To Be :) ... Enjoy your day, enjoy your Steps, and enjoy your "Recovery"... One Day At A Time :) I will make...	Jozie	0	415	Mar 20, 2009 by Jozie
	12 step program for cats (Preview) (((Family))), Okay here you go a program for us cat codependents. Thanks to our David for sharing it with me. It's too funny to keep to myself: 12 STEP PROGRAM FOR "CATS SYNDROME"1. We admitted we were powerless over CATS - that our lives had become unmanageable. C2. Came to believe that...	Karilynn	2	4935	Mar 20, 2009 by david62
	continuing problem it seems (Preview) this always seems like a continuin problem with my youngest son who will be 34 in June. He is doing good...but times are now getting tough as you all know....and he always calls me to complain Re: his truck broke down, no $$$ (he has always made big $$$)-well its always something. Sometimes he calls and...	meagain	5	476	Mar 20, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	Need to clarify a post made last week~ (Preview) I want to go back and make a clarification on a post I made last week entitled Boundaries and Expectations. I wrote in there that EXABF wrote and told me many times that he wanted a future with me. I do believe I even quoted that and I was wrong. I do not remember well anymore, and would like to apologize...	shellyj123	1	482	Mar 20, 2009 by maire rua
	Registered for the Retreat! yeah!! (Preview) Okay, I registered for the retreat that will be on the 27 28 29 of this month. I'm looking forward to it. I do admit I am having a little anexity too! But it's all good. On another note, tomorrow is Friday. The deadline I set for my A to be in inpatient treatment or I was filing for divorce. It appears tha...	Sincerely	3	816	Mar 20, 2009 by kitty
	Once again requesting prayers... (Preview) Thsi time it is for my extended family, a person who prayed for me during my cancer experience and continues to pray for me to this day. His name is Don, on Monday his heart rate went down to 25 bpm and then they found out that he had had a mild heart attach and then Wednesday they did triple bypass surgery. He...	wildthang86	5	735	Mar 19, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	Ashamed to admit (Preview) I have a mouth, when someone has wronged me or my family I spew nasty resentments at every opportunity including creating times when nothing at all has prompted it. Last night was yet another example of my judgment spewing. Our son was feeling bad for a friend who has no job, can get no job in today's ec...	Peggy7	9	1116	Mar 19, 2009 by o2bnormal
	Its all about the focus! (Preview) I can go into self pity and victimization very very quickly. There is no question for me that the relationship with the ex A left me in a huge amount of debt and to a certain extent "stuck" with what that means. Being resourceful can be an option for me sometimes but only when I stop out of the vi...	maresie	4	640	Mar 19, 2009 by Jennifer
	Rock Bottom???? (Preview) I've heard that an A usually doesn't want to seek help until they hit "rock bottom". What is rock bottom? My children's father was told at the age of 23, while being hospitalized for an inflamed liver was told that if he didn't quit drinking the way he was, he'd probably live for only 10 more ye...	mairmair09	12	1631	Mar 19, 2009 by Inpain
	How do you edit a post once it is posted to the boards? (Preview) needed to edit a post from last week, saw a correction i needed to make.....is this possible? I see where posts have been edited but i can't figure it out.... thanks shelly	shellyj123	2	521	Mar 19, 2009 by Christy
	Early sobriety (Preview) Morning everyone! My Abf competed treatment, is home and what a roller coaster it has been. Up and down his moods change constantly and he is so frustrated trying to put his life back together from damage caused during relapses. I am trying to work my program, seperate what is his vs what is mine and s...	inhisarms	3	709	Mar 19, 2009 by wjwcalifgirl
	About being "kicked out" (Preview) When I read Clara's post, I thought "awww honey" And after a pause, I thought I'd pose this question to my MIP AFG: How did you learn to get past the feelings of "I'm a failure in Al Anon!"? Or "I failed Al Anon school!" I still have to work on this. I still feel ashamed wh...	Tiger2006	4	958	Mar 19, 2009 by clara
	A decision long overdue (Preview) In July of 08 I first came to alanon a huge mess. Alanon has helped me clear up my vision. I was advised not to make a major decision for at least 6 months after coming to alanon. Well, its 8 months.....my thoughts are the same....I'm ready to have a life without my A Hubby. He's been going to AA and is sti...	Sincerely	4	676	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	New to this board and need help desperately (Preview) I am a member of Al-Anon and they have been a great help to me. However, I need advise ASAP and too early to call my sponsor. My 37 year old daughter is an alcholic and probably has a drug problem to go along with it. Her husband has kicked her out of the house. He filed for divorce yesterday. He has agreed...	clara	8	593	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	I can't do this for another 3 days~ Need some ESH from my MIP family~HELP! (Preview) I don't know what my problem is today. I tried HALT and it is none of the above but I still feel "off". I'm in a good mood, and a good place I think, but am getting a bit nerveous over the upcoming date with EXABF. I asked him in an email if he was nerveous and he said he was because he had never had...	shellyj123	7	754	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	Release: I know exactly why I got into that relationship (Preview) I chose to get into that relationship before allowing my heart & mind to heal from the previous one. I also tend to choose men that are similar to my father who was also an alcoholic. I couldn't save my dad so I guess I was trying to save other men I got close to. Took me a long time to learn that people c...	exhausted_imp	8	611	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	Serenity Prayer for Pets (Preview) ((((Family)))), I came across this on a plaque. I couldn't resist it. Hope you have a wonderful day! SERENITY PRAYER FOR PETS: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE OWNERS, I CANNOT TRAIN, COURAGE TO TRAIN THE OWNERS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! I always knew that they were the ones tr...	Karilynn	5	913	Mar 19, 2009 by Jerry F
	Boundaries & Expectations (Preview) Hi All, I have been dating a Recovering A for the last few weeks. Wow! Its been really great! We have alot in common, so our conversation is always great and we laugh alot and have a great time together. I was not crossing the line with him sexually as I didn't want to rush things and wanted to build a solid re...	Saved By Grace	14	863	Mar 18, 2009 by hotrod
	Stuck in this moment (Preview) My life has been moving very fast the last few yrs. I think it has been a long time since I stopped and came to the message board. However I feel it is something I am going to be needing to do a lot more in the near future. As many may have already heard.....my Mom passed away Saturday night. She had been battli...	stillkickin	17	3596	Mar 18, 2009 by kismetstrand
	Please help (Preview) Ny 29y/o son is dying of chirrosis. He needs a liver transplant but of course cant get one. I am trying so hard to stand back. I have told him not to contact me unless he is ready to get help. So I sit here and wait for a phone call saying he is dead.	ranbrew	7	575	Mar 18, 2009 by ranbrew
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.