The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well RIP family... Sorry I haven't been on all weekend, but I couldn't get my computer to do so, so here I am.. :)
I went to my usual F2f fri, with my SIL..I don't know it had to be just what I needed, when we left, we laughed the hole way home.. I mean till tears started to run in my face... It was just a wonderful UPLIFTING feeling when I got home...
Next morning we headed out to our camp to get some work done... It was such a beautiful day, I again got to see the Bald Eagle and her baby fly'n up and down the river, it is soo neet to see such a work of beauty... I don't see how anyone could harm such a beautiful creation..
I have been on edge here lately, I think mostly because I know that when summer kicks in I will have to give up my usual F2F meeting because I have to much going on at camp to take care of... Spoke to a friend at my meeting and she told me that she also hits another one in town, on Sunday Night and that just might be what I needed to hear... I have got so much from al-anon, but I worry that if I step away... Even for a Little Bit, that I will slip back into my old habits, of letting the world rule me instead of ruling my own world!!! Sounds goofy I am sure, but I do fear that... I know I am "Progecting" looking to the ahead months, but the one thing I learned very well from my mother was how to worry ABOUT EVERYTHING.... lol...
I was so use to just "Dealing" with stuff that I feel like I never really "LIVED" ... I don't know if that makes sense, but I know that I was ALways overwhelmed, always going by the seat of my pants, always jumping first thinking later, and I don't want to loose everything that I learned... It is such and easy process to fall back into old habits... I did pick up "One Day at a Time" alanon book to go with my other 2 daily readers I read, that way I figure I could keep one at home, one at work, and one at camp.... They do seem to really help me focus better on what I can and cant not control... it is a nice daily reminder...
I am extremely tired today, but know that all the work that I got done wont be such a burden later on down the road, so I am glad that it is over, but there always seems to be more around every corner... I was looking for a pick me up and when I got on here for like the 10th time and it wouldn't go thru, I was a touch unnerved, I needed my bulliten fix... luckly they were nice enough to send me an email about the problems so I can glad that I could get on and post...
I know that this is all over, but after last weeks drama with Abrother, and right before my meeting I stopped to pick up a drink at the local store and who would blow right past me, after looking me in the eye but... MY ABrother... Well I went out to the vehicle, and spoke to the kids and he evenually came out... I wrapped my arms around him and told him I loved him, and didn't say ANYTHING else... I didn't tell him about the water, I didn't tell him anything, I tried and now I can rest knowing I did what I had to do for me....So I was proud of myself for not opening my big mouth... I still sstruggle but I am getting better :) I am looking for a little peace this week, at work, at home, and at play... I do seem to be get'n my power back, little by little, and I know that would not be possible with out all the ESH and love that I get here...I don't seem to hang onto the anger near as much, and it is easier to let go of once I get on here and get it out...
I guess for today, I have bored you all enough, but I just wanted to let ya's know that God has yet again, blessed me with his beauty, nature, and love, and I couldn't be happier that I got to "Stop and Smell the Roses" per say... It is in God's beauty that i feel the most peace, the most love, and the most self esteem... don't know why..Unsure, but my faith has always broght me thru it... Great to know that HP is hang'n on for the ride :)
Wishing you all a blessed Week...Any ESH you have I would love to hear...
Mahalo for the wishes Jozie and for the great share on growth. I was trying to visualize your camp and what it would be like to go to a face to face meeting there some night. Hey maybe you and your sister-in-law could arrange for some scheduled "camp out" meetings like a certain night of the week or so. Secretaring a meeting is easy. Just a suggestion.
