Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

debilyn · debilyn

I was thinking about this post from yesterday all day today. That is how we just do not think like an A does. I mean I would never have thought that when AH was here for awhile one time, that when I left to town, he would be right behind me going to get bottle, and be home before me. I never saw him drink rememb...

newday · newday

Haven't heard from my ex-bfA (we were seeing each other again) for 5 days since I explained he could not come over because my kids (13/15) were home. I felt if I was going to see him...it should involve my kids. He threw a fit and went back to the enabling woman he's been seeing since we split 2 years ago...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear Ones, A few years ago, I realized that I habitually reacted to situations from very trivial/minor to major at the same level. For instance, whether my partner was a few minutes late to pick me up, changed a date in advance, stood me up, or broke up with me, I had the same level of intensity of reaction...

M's Mommy · M's Mommy

Hi everyone. I love these boards and the online meetings, they have really been a huge lifesaver for me. Its so amazing to know I can come here anytime and you are all here, you all understand. I just want some opinions. I have an ah and I have finally accepted the fact that he is going to drink, I cant contro...

newday · newday

My ex-Abf (together 7years) has been trying to rekindle our relationship after I threw him out 2 years ago. Since then he's been seeing a woman who enables/participates in his addictions. Over the past few weeks I have fallen weak to his pleas. Believing he was staying away from "her"...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

So my cell phone was shut off today :( But to turn it positive I just keep thinking well that's the best excuse I can give him to not have to talk to him! Because I was gong to take a couple weeks and ignore all his calls! He will call and it's shut off so he can't get mad at me for not answering and I wont have to lis...

java · java

We had a greet meeting this morning in which "savior behavior" was brought up. I know I do it a lot when I try to take care of someone else's stuff , that is theirs to take care of, enabling if you will. But I've also had it done to me. This is what I what to talk about and in a sense warn others of. Afte...

maire rua · maire rua

In the past few weeks, I have felt quite sad without expressing it really, this board has helped an awful lot and I have felt the benefit of all the posts here. Without it I feel I would have gone into a full scale depression, it has helped me put things in perspective. There are many things at the moment tha...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

######Rosie's note.......Oh I remember when I read this how I apologized for EVERYTHING!!! I was soo shamed based, if a person cut in front of me at the super market, I would apoligize.....I was always saying "I'm sorry".....Its like my upbringing, my parents always made me feel with the...

Jozie · Jozie

Today I was reading in my LoLG Daily reader... and remembered that after all the excitement yesterday.. That was one reader I never got to read... So I back stepped to yesterday, and knew I had to miss something good :) The Prayer for Yesterday was: God...Help Me Fully Embrace & finish My Endings, S...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up this am, after a good nights sleep (for a change) and first thing I did was RE READ everyone's comments to my posts yesterday. Let me thank each and everyone of you for being there and the Hug the whole way from Costa Rica was just what I needed:) Decided that TODAY I am going to keep asking myself &...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Thanks everyone for all of the support!! The interveiw went wonderfully! It is not required to relocate for this position, but it will require alot of disaplin. It is 40 miles away from my home and I would have 10 stores and have to visit each of them twice a month. LOTS OF TRAVELING but all stores are with...

kissers · kissers

Here's a recovery program for artists..... http://www.artsanonymous.org/index.html

Jozie · Jozie

My D Day, 11 Days Early... Today was just awesome... I got up this morning, with a little Nervousness running thru me not knowing how the day would be... But Charged on, Stopped at the Local Gas Station for a Cup of Joe, and just when I was getting ready to walk out, There was My BEST Friend from High School...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've decided that just for today I am not going to respond to EXABF's email. I just have nothing left at this point and am not feeling really well right now. I've read, posted, read and contacted my sponsor. I am spent today. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place........What I want was to have NC...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I emailed EXABF last night and told him he could come by Thursday while I was at work and get his stuff and that I would NOT be there. Also told him that I was feeling very sad and depleted over the entire situation. He emails me back last night and says Cant say for sure yet about Thursday. Im supposed to...

kitty · kitty

I have been thinking about how vicitmizing English can be at times or maybe it's our society, idk. You know how we say, "youre giving me a headache" or "this is a pain in my neck" or "look how you made me feel!" It is funny how we throw our energy away & leave ourselv...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

This is just a little thing, but I do wish I didnt feel the need to tell people my husband has left me! This is so negative, I did it tonight when this guy in a lovely country pub pointed out that we seemed to be on a strict budget...ive done it quite a few times, why dont I just say nothing, or that ive separated...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I've been doing pretty good since I left my A, but as days go by it gets harder and harder. I have no money, I don't have my own house, I have 2 kids to care for somehow on my own. All my stuff is in storage collecting dust. I have 5 weeks of one college class to finish online with no internet. And he calls to see th...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

It seems like it never ends!!! Through this program and checking in with people and reading some of the lit, I find that I can watch it go round instead of hopping on and going with it. Just this morning I was able to find my AH using and somewhere deep inside, I found a different response. And guess what, He...

Gailey · Gailey

This is something I have wanted to do for several years now but would not allow myself the expense. The day after my son got his dui I decided that I was going to give that gift to myself. After all, I would go to the earth's end in the past to help my children out financially. Why wouldn't I do the same for myse...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

Hello everyone!! My husband was in rehab and I was soooo happy he decided to stay a second month. But he just called, he's out and he's gonna stay in treatment, in ambulatory. I'm just freaked out, scared, terrified honestly. And, also, as a control freak I am, this out of control type of encounter just c...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

I work for the 2 nice sons and their father who is a nasty old fart....He does not like me and today it came out in a veangance I am drinking my shake (if worker is there more than 4 hours they get 15 min break...FED. law)....He comes up to me and wants to know why I am "not busy"...I said I was busy, d...

Jozie · Jozie

Well today was a rough one, I went to work did what I had to do there, knocked off a little early, headed to the basement to sift through some of my Afather things, and pick out "some" things for the goodwill, I have a Long way to go, but I have made the extra mile and I did it with me & HP... My mom...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((Friends)))))))))))), I just came from a funeral of a wonderful 20 yr young man whom I watched grow up. I watched as his parents and families hearts were breaking, I watched these macho young men my son included cry like babies as they saw there friend for the last time. Brad was killed while ri...

Barbarajo05 · Barbarajo05

Hello, This is my first post. I need some help from everyone. My Story- I was married to my husband for 11 years. We have 2 children (now ages 6 and 7). In the summer of 2005 my husband had an affair with a woman and got her pregnant. This I never though he would do. We divorced in Dec 2005. Since then i...

debilyn · debilyn

Geez, dang why did my AH have to have a stupid brain tumor and have a medical relapse then be too retarded to get back on program????? This is so awful sometimes. I used to tell the people who said why do you stay, hey what if your husband all of a sudden was not him anymore? What if it was from a brain cancer? Wo...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

EXABF emailed Sat to basically tell me he is coming to get his stuff and I can let him know if I want to be there or not when he does. Didn't really ask-what's new? He hasn't asked how I've felt in MONTHS. He also informed me that he will be "redoing" his Myspace page and for me to please not be of...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I got into an argument with my bf the other night, not really an argument but I was mad at him. He dumped me for the third weekend in a row for his family and I was mad mad mad and I think justifiably so. I am still a secret and that is the heart of the problem. What I realized the other night as we were talkin...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I'm reading this Al-Anon pamphlet on Detachment. One of the last things it says is: -Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events. The thing that is so hard for me to understand is, how can I not try to stop something that will ultimately affect my son and me? For instance, my husband dr...

Jozie · Jozie

Well once I had it in my head, what i was going to do next, I put it in motion and got to it. I first went up by myself and got things going into boxes, and bags, and totes, to which I really didn't "Go" thru any of it, for now it is in my basement, and I have hopes today of getting thru some of it. because...

xrayr · xrayr

I have been married for 18 years and we have a 10 year old child. I am almost 40 My husband is an alcoholic, and he says he wants to get help but he never does anything about it. He was in rehab in 2000 and only stayed for 4 days (thats all insurance would cover). He does not go to AA because he said that all people...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family)))), Good morning to you all. I just wanted to give you an update on the robbery. The neighbor was charged and arraigned with a class E felony for possession of stolen goods. ( I will not get them back as they have all been melted down.) The judge gave me a temporary order of protectio...

Josie46 · Josie46

Hi, I am new here, gotta start somewhere. My husband is an Alcoholic. ( I think) He is a functional one I guess is what you call it. He is able to maintain and drink. By that I mean he is not messy, and in fact cleans the house, keeps the shop clean, mowes the lawn, does his own laundry I never have to take ou...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I left him almost a week ago. Doing much better than I thought I would. I did bring the baby to see him last night. He called and asked if we would spend the night there. It was hard, but I can't let the baby go with him without me because he always passes out. I almost didn't even let him see our son, but I know it...

meme1114 · meme1114

Hello Everyone! I'm new to this forum and haven't attended an Al-Anon meeting as yet. I plan to. I've been reading various threads and hope for some guidance. Can a person abuse alcohol and not be an alcoholic? Not making excuses for my hubby......had a threapist tell me some abuse alcohol and others...

Inpain · Inpain

My dry AH and I are struggling in this 24 hours. I realize we have NO friends that don't drink. We are both struggling with this. We know there are many activities open to us, but there are no real dry events. I'm here because of him AND me. The only people I know who are dry, are in al-anon. I'm greatfu...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

The more I try to work on staying in the present, the more I begin to value how my time IS spent in the present. When I read others post about 'Enjoying today' it triggered a reaction in me that wondered - "I can't enjoy today since my job is so incredibly unenjoyable." So then I wonder - am I not ch...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I enjoy walking because I know that when I do, I get so much out of it! It affects me mentally, spiritually & physically. I get closer to nature, my mind is clearer & I feel so much better physically although I get very tired sometimes, I think that kind of tired is good for you. Lately the weathe...

andica · andica

I haven't had a chance to be on the computer much in the last couple weeks. My husbands symptoms are progressively worse. On 5/5 he was admitted to a skilled nursing facility because of confusion and problems walking. Within 3 days he went from normal kidney function tests to hepatorenal syndrome....

Ness · Ness

I'm back on step one...again! I was stressed when my son was drinking and I'm still stressed now he is in recovery. My serenity is hard won! My son is at home with us and I think this is week 8 of his recovery but, as I'm trying to live one day at a time, I've lost count. He's doing ok, probably better than m...

clara · clara

Not only did Jennifer come through for me, another family member who has a history of drugs, alchol, etc. came through for me, in a big way. Jen came out to watch Bonnie. Jenn loves Bonnie Lou dearly and I knew she would be in good hands . And I honestly think Jenn was proud of herself for stepping up to...

florida · florida

end of dec drove to fl from ma - getting divorced after 28yrs, 17 yr son still in ma lost my license in fl - (someone elses DUI, I switched seats) met someone new end of feb somehow i cant get myself back into my routine - feel lost, need to get my life here but dont know how to start - any thoughts?

Jozie · Jozie

Well the final week of D-Day has come... I can no longer put off, or delay the fact any longer, I have to charge forward, and do the dreaded things that I have been regretting for some time. I have to remove all the contence of my Deseased Afathers belonging! I have so many mixed emotions about the whole de...

maresie · maresie

I used to torture myself over choices. I would find myself totally fixated on what I could not do and not be able to do what I needed to do. Al anon has really helped me with that. Making a plan be was a start. I didn't like any of it but I saw the choice I had clearly ahead. Rignt now I can't say I really like my...

Inpain · Inpain

5 months out. I'm 5 months out from when I found my husband cheated and when it all came to a head he quit drinking. We've tremendous strides in our marriage. I've felt closer than I ever had in 10 years. The trust is gone, reasonably so, and we're working toward re-building it. He is a dry drunk. Goes...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Howdy friends I had a BLAST today!!! Got up!!! cleaned up my bedroom and prepared my bedroom for my NEW COMPUTER... Its a Dell..Dual core...19" monitor...2 gig memory...2 harddrives the 2nd one is 1/2 tarabyte.....this things SMOKES!! I am downloading my music and my movies from my usb exteri...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My son and I came home from the condo today knowing full well that the house would not be clean. When I walked in the door, I was almost in tears, not only was it not clean - it stunk to high heaven and my husband was still asleep. I cleaned up some cat puke, emptied the trash, ran the garbage disposal, and c...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Back when my husband's drinking got out of control, his brother was here to help out. One of the things I asked him to do was to take my husband's gun out of the house. I didnt' feel comfortable having it in the house at all (let alone when his drinking was out of control). To be honest, we were never gun pe...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((Friends)))), Seems I have been reading a lot of the same things in post lately, the insecurity of living with this disease. Try and remember we have absolutely no control over this, it is out of our hands. We can only control ourselves and our lives. I know the disease of addictions plays havic on...

Robinks · Robinks

husband had a job interview last tuesday, friday they called and asked for references. Please say prayers for him, I hope this means an offer is coming. We really need this job.

Diva · Diva

My A long-time companion had some scam attached to his debit card which is billing us $56.00 per month for God knows what. We cannot seem to find out anything about the source of the charge. So....our bank - we have co-mingled funds which I do not recommend to any of you - told him to cancel his debit c...

mia883 · mia883

Hello I would like to have an idea how things are managed in other states or districts or groups? At the moment in Australia, we are not using email at all between members, groups, districts, and areas? Everything is done by hand and posted with a 50 cents stamp. Expensive system. Plus it takes ages to be...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am changing! I feel more confident & not so much in fear. I used to be afraid of most things especially those things out of my control. I am more ready to face things head-on & take chances in my life. And trust is very important to me right now. My Alanon group is so special to me. I am really l...

Sincerely · Sincerely

I have learned that relationships are hard. ALL RELATIONSHIPS! husband and wife, mother and daughter, supervisor to coworker, coworker to coworker, etc. They are all just hard. It takes work. And it begins with me. I am high maitenance. I've always joked that I was high maintnance, but I was m...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

I really need some advice on this one. Totally at a loss as to what I'm supposed to do... My AH's mom in some ways is more crazy than her son. I have a strained relationship with her as she also does with her son. Today she was at our house dropping after having taken our dog for a walk. I drove up after being at t...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

I sold my exAh's work bench yesterday, only £20 but he didnt want it and it took up room in the shed. I felt so low when it had gone, Ive spent the last few months getting rid of all the evidence of our life together, wedding album gone, wedding ring sold for scrap! Other bits and bobs that ive sold or am sellin...

Mariner · Mariner

I have been feeling alot of pain lately. Feelings of guilt and shame. I woke up today with that horrible feeling again. It starts almost immediatley, the self criticizising. Why did I do A B or C, I should have known better, why did I stay in that relationship so long, I'm not good enough........ I mus...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am finding that things are really a-ok for me except in one area of my life/recovery: I am still going WAY overboard on the self-shame and self-blame when it comes to making mistakes. I made two mistakes yesterday. Not the end of the world: both had to do with mis-communications, one a work and one at...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Is something I don't have. I was reflecting after reading another post here by Becky about wanting to be rescued and hoping her boyfriend of 8 months would step up. I have been with mine almost 4 and been pushing for moving in, etc. I have a really hard time waiting for what I want. It's so foreign to me...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	being shocked by A behavior (Preview) I was thinking about this post from yesterday all day today. That is how we just do not think like an A does. I mean I would never have thought that when AH was here for awhile one time, that when I left to town, he would be right behind me going to get bottle, and be home before me. I never saw him drink rememb...	debilyn	2	890	May 22, 2009 by maresie
	Trying hard to keep the focus on myself today. (Preview) Haven't heard from my ex-bfA (we were seeing each other again) for 5 days since I explained he could not come over because my kids (13/15) were home. I felt if I was going to see him...it should involve my kids. He threw a fit and went back to the enabling woman he's been seeing since we split 2 years ago...	newday	5	647	May 22, 2009 by maresie
	Dealing With Fear/And then What? (Preview) Dear Ones, A few years ago, I realized that I habitually reacted to situations from very trivial/minor to major at the same level. For instance, whether my partner was a few minutes late to pick me up, changed a date in advance, stood me up, or broke up with me, I had the same level of intensity of reaction...	BlueCloud	3	667	May 22, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Expectations? (Preview) Hi everyone. I love these boards and the online meetings, they have really been a huge lifesaver for me. Its so amazing to know I can come here anytime and you are all here, you all understand. I just want some opinions. I have an ah and I have finally accepted the fact that he is going to drink, I cant contro...	M's Mommy	11	1490	May 22, 2009 by M's Mommy
	Detachment attempted...once again. (Preview) My ex-Abf (together 7years) has been trying to rekindle our relationship after I threw him out 2 years ago. Since then he's been seeing a woman who enables/participates in his addictions. Over the past few weeks I have fallen weak to his pleas. Believing he was staying away from "her"...	newday	9	672	May 21, 2009 by BrightStar
	Trying to think postive about the negatives (Preview) So my cell phone was shut off today :( But to turn it positive I just keep thinking well that's the best excuse I can give him to not have to talk to him! Because I was gong to take a couple weeks and ignore all his calls! He will call and it's shut off so he can't get mad at me for not answering and I wont have to lis...	Melissa21	6	553	May 21, 2009 by debilyn
	Savior Behavior (Preview) We had a greet meeting this morning in which "savior behavior" was brought up. I know I do it a lot when I try to take care of someone else's stuff , that is theirs to take care of, enabling if you will. But I've also had it done to me. This is what I what to talk about and in a sense warn others of. Afte...	java	5	1923	May 21, 2009 by maresie
	Feeling sad (Preview) In the past few weeks, I have felt quite sad without expressing it really, this board has helped an awful lot and I have felt the benefit of all the posts here. Without it I feel I would have gone into a full scale depression, it has helped me put things in perspective. There are many things at the moment tha...	maire rua	9	665	May 21, 2009 by clara
	APOLOGIES----shame based?? or healthy?? (Preview) ######Rosie's note.......Oh I remember when I read this how I apologized for EVERYTHING!!! I was soo shamed based, if a person cut in front of me at the super market, I would apoligize.....I was always saying "I'm sorry".....Its like my upbringing, my parents always made me feel with the...	rosielightshines	2	1009	May 21, 2009 by kitty
	The Language of Letting Go!!! :) (Preview) Today I was reading in my LoLG Daily reader... and remembered that after all the excitement yesterday.. That was one reader I never got to read... So I back stepped to yesterday, and knew I had to miss something good :) The Prayer for Yesterday was: *God...Help Me Fully Embrace & finish My Endings, S...*	Jozie	2	502	May 21, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Just for today~progress not perfection (Preview) Woke up this am, after a good nights sleep (for a change) and first thing I did was RE READ everyone's comments to my posts yesterday. Let me thank each and everyone of you for being there and the Hug the whole way from Costa Rica was just what I needed:) Decided that TODAY I am going to keep asking myself &...	shellyj123	4	1443	May 21, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Job Interview Part 2--Update (Preview) Thanks everyone for all of the support!! The interveiw went wonderfully! It is not required to relocate for this position, but it will require alot of disaplin. It is 40 miles away from my home and I would have 10 stores and have to visit each of them twice a month. LOTS OF TRAVELING but all stores are with...	Sincerely	6	606	May 21, 2009 by Jean4444
	Anyone an artist? (Preview) Here's a recovery program for artists..... http://www.artsanonymous.org/index.html	kissers	3	441	May 21, 2009 by Jean4444
	Miracles Amaze Me Today :) (Preview) My D Day, 11 Days Early... Today was just awesome... I got up this morning, with a little Nervousness running thru me not knowing how the day would be... But Charged on, Stopped at the Local Gas Station for a Cup of Joe, and just when I was getting ready to walk out, There was My BEST Friend from High School...	Jozie	4	542	May 21, 2009 by Christy
	Just for today~Very confused between a rock and a hard place. (Preview) I've decided that just for today I am not going to respond to EXABF's email. I just have nothing left at this point and am not feeling really well right now. I've read, posted, read and contacted my sponsor. I am spent today. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place........What I want was to have NC...	shellyj123	6	434	May 21, 2009 by Mariner
	Unbelievable~~~ Will it just ever be done???? (Preview) I emailed EXABF last night and told him he could come by Thursday while I was at work and get his stuff and that I would NOT be there. Also told him that I was feeling very sad and depleted over the entire situation. He emails me back last night and says Cant say for sure yet about Thursday. Im supposed to...	shellyj123	12	654	May 21, 2009 by rosielightshines
	you're making me sick (Preview) I have been thinking about how vicitmizing English can be at times or maybe it's our society, idk. You know how we say, "youre giving me a headache" or "this is a pain in my neck" or "look how you made me feel!" It is funny how we throw our energy away & leave ourselv...	kitty	5	496	May 20, 2009 by angelchar375
	I wish I would stop telling people (Preview) This is just a little thing, but I do wish I didnt feel the need to tell people my husband has left me! This is so negative, I did it tonight when this guy in a lovely country pub pointed out that we seemed to be on a strict budget...ive done it quite a few times, why dont I just say nothing, or that ive separated...	Lilly Burn	8	458	May 20, 2009 by drucilla06
	It's not fair (Preview) I've been doing pretty good since I left my A, but as days go by it gets harder and harder. I have no money, I don't have my own house, I have 2 kids to care for somehow on my own. All my stuff is in storage collecting dust. I have 5 weeks of one college class to finish online with no internet. And he calls to see th...	Melissa21	9	542	May 20, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Merry go round, round, round... (Preview) It seems like it never ends!!! Through this program and checking in with people and reading some of the lit, I find that I can watch it go round instead of hopping on and going with it. Just this morning I was able to find my AH using and somewhere deep inside, I found a different response. And guess what, He...	angelchar375	5	497	May 20, 2009 by rosielightshines
	My adventure (Preview) This is something I have wanted to do for several years now but would not allow myself the expense. The day after my son got his dui I decided that I was going to give that gift to myself. After all, I would go to the earth's end in the past to help my children out financially. Why wouldn't I do the same for myse...	Gailey	11	568	May 20, 2009 by Becky1
	Freaked Out (Preview) Hello everyone!! My husband was in rehab and I was soooo happy he decided to stay a second month. But he just called, he's out and he's gonna stay in treatment, in ambulatory. I'm just freaked out, scared, terrified honestly. And, also, as a control freak I am, this out of control type of encounter just c...	Priscilla83	5	522	May 20, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Boss bully----I could really use some support!!!!! (Preview) I work for the 2 nice sons and their father who is a nasty old fart....He does not like me and today it came out in a veangance I am drinking my shake (if worker is there more than 4 hours they get 15 min break...FED. law)....He comes up to me and wants to know why I am "not busy"...I said I was busy, d...	rosielightshines	13	1378	May 20, 2009 by kitty
	I've Done It :) ME!!!! (Preview) Well today was a rough one, I went to work did what I had to do there, knocked off a little early, headed to the basement to sift through some of my Afather things, and pick out "some" things for the goodwill, I have a Long way to go, but I have made the extra mile and I did it with me & HP... My mom...	Jozie	6	599	May 20, 2009 by Ness
	In the Darkest of Times God Carries Us (Preview) (((((((Friends)))))))))))), I just came from a funeral of a wonderful 20 yr young man whom I watched grow up. I watched as his parents and families hearts were breaking, I watched these macho young men my son included cry like babies as they saw there friend for the last time. Brad was killed while ri...	Andrea12	6	479	May 20, 2009 by Peggy7
	New Here and Need Advise and Help (Preview) Hello, This is my first post. I need some help from everyone. My Story- I was married to my husband for 11 years. We have 2 children (now ages 6 and 7). In the summer of 2005 my husband had an affair with a woman and got her pregnant. This I never though he would do. We divorced in Dec 2005. Since then i...	Barbarajo05	12	632	May 20, 2009 by kitty
	I must be ugly? (Preview) Geez, dang why did my AH have to have a stupid brain tumor and have a medical relapse then be too retarded to get back on program????? This is so awful sometimes. I used to tell the people who said why do you stay, hey what if your husband all of a sudden was not him anymore? What if it was from a brain cancer? Wo...	debilyn	9	667	May 20, 2009 by tiredtonite
	WHAT is WRONG with me???? Something has to be...... (Preview) EXABF emailed Sat to basically tell me he is coming to get his stuff and I can let him know if I want to be there or not when he does. Didn't really ask-what's new? He hasn't asked how I've felt in MONTHS. He also informed me that he will be "redoing" his Myspace page and for me to please not be of...	shellyj123	11	612	May 20, 2009 by debilyn
	Realization (Preview) So I got into an argument with my bf the other night, not really an argument but I was mad at him. He dumped me for the third weekend in a row for his family and I was mad mad mad and I think justifiably so. I am still a secret and that is the heart of the problem. What I realized the other night as we were talkin...	carolinagirl	6	586	May 20, 2009 by debilyn
	Detachment Question (Preview) I'm reading this Al-Anon pamphlet on Detachment. One of the last things it says is: -Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events. The thing that is so hard for me to understand is, how can I not try to stop something that will ultimately affect my son and me? For instance, my husband dr...	N8SMOM	7	563	May 19, 2009 by Andrea12
	Made it thru Day 1... One Moment at A Time... (Preview) Well once I had it in my head, what i was going to do next, I put it in motion and got to it. I first went up by myself and got things going into boxes, and bags, and totes, to which I really didn't "Go" thru any of it, for now it is in my basement, and I have hopes today of getting thru some of it. because...	Jozie	4	491	May 19, 2009 by maire rua
	Need Guidance..Husband is an alcoholic (Preview) I have been married for 18 years and we have a 10 year old child. I am almost 40 My husband is an alcoholic, and he says he wants to get help but he never does anything about it. He was in rehab in 2000 and only stayed for 4 days (thats all insurance would cover). He does not go to AA because he said that all people...	xrayr	8	479	May 19, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Update & Doing Good (Preview) ((((((Family)))), Good morning to you all. I just wanted to give you an update on the robbery. The neighbor was charged and arraigned with a class E felony for possession of stolen goods. ( I will not get them back as they have all been melted down.) The judge gave me a temporary order of protectio...	Karilynn	6	519	May 19, 2009 by david62
	I think I am in the right place? (Preview) Hi, I am new here, gotta start somewhere. My husband is an Alcoholic. ( I think) He is a functional one I guess is what you call it. He is able to maintain and drink. By that I mean he is not messy, and in fact cleans the house, keeps the shop clean, mowes the lawn, does his own laundry I never have to take ou...	Josie46	8	540	May 19, 2009 by maresie
	I'm doing alright (Preview) I left him almost a week ago. Doing much better than I thought I would. I did bring the baby to see him last night. He called and asked if we would spend the night there. It was hard, but I can't let the baby go with him without me because he always passes out. I almost didn't even let him see our son, but I know it...	Melissa21	6	661	May 19, 2009 by maresie
	Hello - New Here (Preview) Hello Everyone! I'm new to this forum and haven't attended an Al-Anon meeting as yet. I plan to. I've been reading various threads and hope for some guidance. Can a person abuse alcohol and not be an alcoholic? Not making excuses for my hubby......had a threapist tell me some abuse alcohol and others...	meme1114	5	517	May 19, 2009 by maresie
	Friends (Preview) My dry AH and I are struggling in this 24 hours. I realize we have NO friends that don't drink. We are both struggling with this. We know there are many activities open to us, but there are no real dry events. I'm here because of him AND me. The only people I know who are dry, are in al-anon. I'm greatfu...	Inpain	10	863	May 19, 2009 by serendipity
	Jobs and managing stress (Preview) The more I try to work on staying in the present, the more I begin to value how my time IS spent in the present. When I read others post about 'Enjoying today' it triggered a reaction in me that wondered - "I can't enjoy today since my job is so incredibly unenjoyable." So then I wonder - am I not ch...	RunnerChick	8	459	May 19, 2009 by maresie
	Walking--helps mental, spriritual & physical (Preview) I enjoy walking because I know that when I do, I get so much out of it! It affects me mentally, spiritually & physically. I get closer to nature, my mind is clearer & I feel so much better physically although I get very tired sometimes, I think that kind of tired is good for you. Lately the weathe...	Hoot Nanny	5	619	May 19, 2009 by maresie
	UPDATE on AH medical condition (Preview) I haven't had a chance to be on the computer much in the last couple weeks. My husbands symptoms are progressively worse. On 5/5 he was admitted to a skilled nursing facility because of confusion and problems walking. Within 3 days he went from normal kidney function tests to hepatorenal syndrome....	andica	8	555	May 19, 2009 by Karilynn
	Stress of drinking.... stress of recovery AAAArrrrgggghhhh (Preview) I'm back on step one...again! I was stressed when my son was drinking and I'm still stressed now he is in recovery. My serenity is hard won! My son is at home with us and I think this is week 8 of his recovery but, as I'm trying to live one day at a time, I've lost count. He's doing ok, probably better than m...	Ness	5	819	May 19, 2009 by RunnerChick
	The world has surely tilted on its axis (Preview) Not only did Jennifer come through for me, another family member who has a history of drugs, alchol, etc. came through for me, in a big way. Jen came out to watch Bonnie. Jenn loves Bonnie Lou dearly and I knew she would be in good hands . And I honestly think Jenn was proud of herself for stepping up to...	clara	10	603	May 19, 2009 by Karilynn
	feeling lost - how do i find myself once again? (Preview) end of dec drove to fl from ma - getting divorced after 28yrs, 17 yr son still in ma lost my license in fl - (someone elses DUI, I switched seats) met someone new end of feb somehow i cant get myself back into my routine - feel lost, need to get my life here but dont know how to start - any thoughts?	florida	6	579	May 18, 2009 by debilyn
	Today! I Ask for Strength to See Me Thru... (Preview) Well the final week of D-Day has come... I can no longer put off, or delay the fact any longer, I have to charge forward, and do the dreaded things that I have been regretting for some time. I have to remove all the contence of my Deseased Afathers belonging! I have so many mixed emotions about the whole de...	Jozie	5	548	May 18, 2009 by Robinks
	Making choices (Preview) I used to torture myself over choices. I would find myself totally fixated on what I could not do and not be able to do what I needed to do. Al anon has really helped me with that. Making a plan be was a start. I didn't like any of it but I saw the choice I had clearly ahead. Rignt now I can't say I really like my...	maresie	4	543	May 18, 2009 by Andrea12
	Trust and boundaries (Preview) 5 months out. I'm 5 months out from when I found my husband cheated and when it all came to a head he quit drinking. We've tremendous strides in our marriage. I've felt closer than I ever had in 10 years. The trust is gone, reasonably so, and we're working toward re-building it. He is a dry drunk. Goes...	Inpain	10	593	May 18, 2009 by rosielightshines
	I had an absolute BLAST today!!! (Preview) Howdy friends I had a BLAST today!!! Got up!!! cleaned up my bedroom and prepared my bedroom for my NEW COMPUTER... Its a Dell..Dual core...19" monitor...2 gig memory...2 harddrives the 2nd one is 1/2 tarabyte.....this things SMOKES!! I am downloading my music and my movies from my usb exteri...	rosielightshines	5	379	May 18, 2009 by Jozie
	Came Home Today (Wish I Hadn't) (Preview) My son and I came home from the condo today knowing full well that the house would not be clean. When I walked in the door, I was almost in tears, not only was it not clean - it stunk to high heaven and my husband was still asleep. I cleaned up some cat puke, emptied the trash, ran the garbage disposal, and c...	N8SMOM	4	1130	May 18, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Important Question (Preview) Back when my husband's drinking got out of control, his brother was here to help out. One of the things I asked him to do was to take my husband's gun out of the house. I didnt' feel comfortable having it in the house at all (let alone when his drinking was out of control). To be honest, we were never gun pe...	N8SMOM	11	594	May 18, 2009 by Diva
	The simple things in life (Preview) (((((Friends)))), Seems I have been reading a lot of the same things in post lately, the insecurity of living with this disease. Try and remember we have absolutely no control over this, it is out of our hands. We can only control ourselves and our lives. I know the disease of addictions plays havic on...	Andrea12	6	661	May 18, 2009 by Karilynn
	prayers for husband (Preview) husband had a job interview last tuesday, friday they called and asked for references. Please say prayers for him, I hope this means an offer is coming. We really need this job.	Robinks	7	400	May 18, 2009 by Karilynn
	Enabling? No......just doing what needs to be done... (Preview) My A long-time companion had some scam attached to his debit card which is billing us $56.00 per month for God knows what. We cannot seem to find out anything about the source of the charge. So....our bank - we have co-mingled funds which I do not recommend to any of you - told him to cancel his debit c...	Diva	10	680	May 18, 2009 by Karilynn
	Email communication between members, groups, districts, area , etc... (Preview) Hello I would like to have an idea how things are managed in other states or districts or groups? At the moment in Australia, we are not using email at all between members, groups, districts, and areas? Everything is done by hand and posted with a 50 cents stamp. Expensive system. Plus it takes ages to be...	mia883	5	545	May 18, 2009 by mia883
	Changes (Preview) I am changing! I feel more confident & not so much in fear. I used to be afraid of most things especially those things out of my control. I am more ready to face things head-on & take chances in my life. And trust is very important to me right now. My Alanon group is so special to me. I am really l...	Hoot Nanny	5	455	May 17, 2009 by maresie
	Relationships are Hard (Preview) I have learned that relationships are hard. ALL RELATIONSHIPS! husband and wife, mother and daughter, supervisor to coworker, coworker to coworker, etc. They are all just hard. It takes work. And it begins with me. I am high maitenance. I've always joked that I was high maintnance, but I was m...	Sincerely	4	396	May 17, 2009 by maresie
	mother in law blues (Preview) I really need some advice on this one. Totally at a loss as to what I'm supposed to do... My AH's mom in some ways is more crazy than her son. I have a strained relationship with her as she also does with her son. Today she was at our house dropping after having taken our dog for a walk. I drove up after being at t...	angelchar375	9	856	May 17, 2009 by maresie
	Looking into big hole that used to be my life (Preview) I sold my exAh's work bench yesterday, only £20 but he didnt want it and it took up room in the shed. I felt so low when it had gone, Ive spent the last few months getting rid of all the evidence of our life together, wedding album gone, wedding ring sold for scrap! Other bits and bobs that ive sold or am sellin...	Lilly Burn	8	898	May 17, 2009 by maresie
	Self Love (Preview) I have been feeling alot of pain lately. Feelings of guilt and shame. I woke up today with that horrible feeling again. It starts almost immediatley, the self criticizising. Why did I do A B or C, I should have known better, why did I stay in that relationship so long, I'm not good enough........ I mus...	Mariner	8	458	May 17, 2009 by maresie
	Making Mistakes: Your ESH needed! (Preview) I am finding that things are really a-ok for me except in one area of my life/recovery: I am still going WAY overboard on the self-shame and self-blame when it comes to making mistakes. I made two mistakes yesterday. Not the end of the world: both had to do with mis-communications, one a work and one at...	Jean4444	13	1022	May 17, 2009 by maresie
	Patience (Preview) Is something I don't have. I was reflecting after reading another post here by Becky about wanting to be rescued and hoping her boyfriend of 8 months would step up. I have been with mine almost 4 and been pushing for moving in, etc. I have a really hard time waiting for what I want. It's so foreign to me...	carolinagirl	6	702	May 17, 2009 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.