Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Maine Girl · Maine Girl

Hello- I am new to this forum, but not new to Al Anon. I have been going to Al Anon for over 2 years because of my AH. I am extremely grateful that my husband, on his own volition, put himself in rehab a month ago. He was away for 3 weeks in a detox center then living on the campus of the hospital doing his out...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, I hadn't been doing much thinking about the A as you know I had moved on to other obsessions with other people. :) Anyway, the A had been around and supposedly clean for over 30 days. So we had been visiting his mom on Tuesdays like normal- that is my son and I. And he had been there consistently so...

Lotus · Lotus

So he IS trying to quit drinking, and happened to mention it to me in passing. Since when? When did he decide this and why was I left in the dark about it for a week? Because I threw out some stuff of his that I thought he'd no longer be needing since I thought he was drinking again. How was I to know, I gue...

crystalcc · crystalcc

Hello, My fiance is currently in rehab, and it appears he is on his "pink cloud," and is feeling quite invincible. He believes he is strong enought to handle life without having to go to AA meetings when he gets out. He told me that he thinks AA is more of a service to those who had problems wit...

All I can be · All I can be

Can an Alocoholic ever be forgiven and the marriage repaired? When an alcoholic has all desire to drink removed, works the steps and has a spiritual awakening. Alanon states that the family situation is bound to improve. AA says permanent marriage breakups and seperations, however are unusual in A...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Ever since finding out that EXABF opened a facebook acct using my last name I have been feeling "off" since then. My fault I know-(seems everything he does wrong always is somehow. Yes I know I was the one to seak out information I obviously was not ready to deal with. I even went back last n...

xter · xter

it's really, really sad that after 5 years, i barely know my AH's "best" friend. mainly because AH compartmentalizes all of his different relationships and doesn't allow people to mingle (he's got his alkie buddies and then real friends and then some who are a mix - those are the worst). ...

Overcome · Overcome

The July 27th reading in ODAAT in Al-Anon got me to thinking about what if alcoholism had not been a part of the four marriages I have been in, would they have succeeded had alcoholism not been a part? What about other relationships that I have had where alcoholism was a part, would the removal of the alco...

Risenshine · Risenshine

Hello, I am new here...been looking for love in all the wrong places! I have read alot of the message trails here...and immediately found comfort...Thank you! I am going through a relationship breakup right now...one that I Knew in my soul I should not have entered...two years ago! And in the begi...

gknee · gknee

Hi all-I remember a few years ago when I first came to this board, I was asking this question about my AH. I guess I have learned something because now I only ask it about me.Quiz Question:How long will I stay in this stupid 19 year marriage?a- foreverb- just for todayc- any day now I am seeing the lawyer/k...

GlitterGirl · GlitterGirl

I'm so sick and tired of my mother's -- what I FEEL like doing is just ending ALL communication with her. I don't always feel that way and it makes me sad to think of not having a relationship with my mother, but she's really been acting like an lately. She's posted on her Facebook account (which pops up on...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I found myself in a real funk tonight, and it took me a while to figure out why. My kids went on vacation with their very sober dad, something we never did, and are spending the week with relatives at a beautiful cabin on a lake in another state. AH keeps sending photos to "keep my heart close to the...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm feeling so much better today it's like night and day. My boyfriend who I have seen and/or talked to every day for the past six months (today is our anniversary) has decided that he won't talk to me anymore which has driven me completely insane for the past 4 or 5 days and I have acted like a crazy woman c...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

YESTERDAY I CELEBRATED MY 43RD B-DAY! IT WAS A VERY NICE DAY & I GOT A LOT OF BIRTHDAY MESSAGES FROM FRIENDS & FAMILY. I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO DOESN'T MIND SHARING MY AGE. EVERYONE IN MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS ALWAYS TELL ME I AM STILL YOUNG BUT SOMETIMES I DON'T FEEL IT! WHEN DO THE PAIN & STR...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP family Saw the wife, or now I say widow, of an old friend of mine from program. We first met in another program for a problem we shared as a result of our drinking. I was able to give him something about his anger that he was very grateful to have and helped him in his family, program and community r...

xter · xter

i woke up this morning, secure in my decision to ask for a separation, to ask him to move out. all day long, i was in a good mood, very sure of myself. his shenanigans this week were a huge blow to me and i find that i absolutely cannot live like this anymore. i have been feeling like i cannot live like this f...

buick23 · buick23

I am fed up with my relationship. Everytime I let go and give stuff to my hp things seem to improve for a few days, then everything goes back to the same old way. My bf keeps chosing to hang out and do stuff with everyone but me. He's always coming up with excuses why I can't go somewhere with him. Right now he'...

buick23 · buick23

I was thinking about something yesterday. My abf drank for years, his dad drank for years, one of his sisters ex is addicted to A and drugs and is abusive, his other sister is with an A, his niece is dating a boy who's stepdad is an A who is abusive. Another friends of mine's bf was addicted to pills, my uncle...

TLM · TLM

I just got into a yelling match with my sober AH. He has been sober for 4 months and diligently working his program. He has decided that he is taking time off of work tomorrow to go fishing with a long time alcoholic drinking buddy who is still drinking heavily and calls here drunk regularly (we don't an...

katiecat · katiecat

I'm feeling quilty??? Why?? I don't have a clue. It's storming outside and I haven't called my sister....Ya know the one I was talking about last night...that calls me drunk all night long leaving nasty messages because I won't answer the phone after the hour long conversation we had just a couple h...

Temple · Temple

I sent a PM, and scrolled back up through my info. I saw 110, and thought there for a second it was my weight! Well, it should be. Tee-Hee, Temple

katiecat · katiecat

As I'm sitting here I have had about 6 or more calls from my sister that I had talked to earlier for more than an hour. This is Friday...her day off and again drunk by 2:00. I go through this week after week....listening to her, giving advice, and just trying to help her anyway I can along with the rest of t...

katiecat · katiecat

I'm new to alanon and don't understand it yet but know I need help in this department. I grew up in a alcoholic home, had problems with alcohol myself and really struggling to learn how to deal with others. I came from a large family and still deal with a sister that is still drinking and causing alot of h...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Is there anyone else here as nosey or curious as I am. I used to blame it on 20+ years in Security/Corrections where I was paid to be nosey but I've been out of that filed for 3 years now. Was on my facebook page today-hadn't been there for awhile and EXABF is NOT there. Did my thing and then saw a spot where y...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I met a man. He is kinda wonderful it seems (I am cautious of course). We have been getting to be friends, slowly. Yesterday he tells me that al-anon pretty much saved his life. I had not mentioned a thing about al-anon to him. He has a son who is an addict. I knew his son was an addict but I did not know he...

chevygirl · chevygirl

It seems like the drama is never ending for me right now . Yesterday i learned that my father ( recovering alcoholic) who abandoned us when we were very small and we are going to visit in Hamilton ( we live in P.E.I ) next friday , landed himself in the hospital for a coulpe of days . He is suppose to use a cpac m...

Overcome · Overcome

"So many times I wanted to bite off my tongue after saying, "Yes" when I really wanted to say, "No." This is a quote from today's reading (July 25) in C2C. This is really a boundary issue and one that has been a hard one in my life. There have been a few times in my life where sayin...

maresie · maresie

Now I'm reworking my fourth step which is long overdue, I'm able to address some of the issue of myself being controlling and finding myself around other people who are controlling. I don't think its a coincidence anymore that I found myself so dependent on people who were incredibly controlling. ...

Overcome · Overcome

In today's C2C reading Toyohiko Kagawa says "God alone knows the secret plan of the things he will do for the world using my hand." I often forget that God has a detailed plan for my life. My job is to seek that plan and ask him daily to show me that plan. If I go off on a wild goose chase following so...

mermaid88 · mermaid88

First off, I would like to thank everyone on here for all of the help and support. I am going to my second alanon meeting tonight, and hoping it will help me feel better. My fiance is an alcoholic and drug addict. He is currently on a three day bender. He abuses any drug he can get his hands on. I know I nee...

Trying to be an active member of Alanon · mermaid88

What is the best way to find an alanon meeting where I feel like I fit in? I have been to a few meetings, and have mostly felt uncomfortable and out of place. I am VERY new to alanon, but I would like to learn more about the program. I like this message board a lot, but being around others would be helpful, t...

xter · xter

i've been home sick for the past 3 days. walking pneumonia. ah has been very short tempered. i've been walking on eggshells, swallowing anger. i'm hurting today. i feel hopeless. i have a f2f meeting tonight, thank goodness. i'm trying to turn my obsessive thoughts over to my HP, but it's hard....

woopsadaisy · woopsadaisy

Hey all-- I am brand spanking new to this whole idea, although I have attended support groups of other kinds before now. It is with some gladness that I am joining this one, and I wonder "Why am I glad that I have a support group?" it's as if I'm glad I NEED one. I must need my head examined. that sa...

Temple · Temple

Lately I have noticed some posts are formatted so wide that I have to scroll back and forth to be able to read the whole thing. Maybe it can be fixed at the "home office" or maybe some of you could hit "enter" every so often and keep it within my cheap little screen? I don't want to mis...

newbie46 · newbie46

I have tried this board. I never intended to make this a regular habit. I go to a wonderful church with wonderful people. That is my lifeline. I hope you all find solutions to your problems.

yabble · yabble

Hello, This is my story ~ In April, I met and fell in love with a man living at the local Salvation Army in their recovery program for alcoholism. He was nearing the end of nine months there and had been sober for 12 months. He presented himself and his situation very well. He talked about his transformat...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Daughter is living with others, we are still in communication but it hurts my heart that we can't be civil to each other. I miss her even tho she's mostly rotten to me. Having problems again with my boyfriend and it's breaking my heart. Scrambling to find a babysitter for this weekend so I can work my sec...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Do most A's drinking or sober continue to maintain the same type of behavior patterns for life-drunk or sober and in recovery? I remember reading somewhere that they were like a Boomerang-they always come back. Have managed to maintain No Contact with EXABF for over a month......the longest time...

chevygirl · chevygirl

My exAB called me last night . It's been two months since we've talked on the phone . Four months since i've seen him . He moved on to another relationship and left me broken hearted . That relationship didn't last , so now he is working on himself , going to AA meetings and counselling . I have tried to detac...

Jeanann · Jeanann

Hello everyone, My name is Jean Ann I am 55 years old and sober over 30 years. I have 2 daughters Shanon 35 and Danielle 25. Shanon has two sons Cole 2 years and Brennan 11 years, Danielle has two daughters Destiny 4 years and Michelle age 6 months. Both of my beautiful daughters are using heavy drugs. H...

newbie46 · newbie46

Is there a way of blocking private messages on here? I looked on my profile settings and there is no option. I only want to receive responses on the board. Thank you

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

There must be something about the stars in the summer that makes me want to feel free and alive. Its been nearly a year since I found this forum. Its been months since I've come here for support. My husband moved out on Saturday. I think I feel relieved, I'm not sure yet. I've been staying with him because I...

Overcome · Overcome

In todays C2C reading it talks about Principles above personalities. I think this is a very important part of our program. When I have an issue with someone I can remember "How Important Is It?" and as the Al-Anon's suggested closing states, "though you may not like all of us, you'll l...

Lotus · Lotus

AH is slowly reintroducing alcohol back into his life. I've been stuck at home with no car for a year and a half, with a toddler, and the only place I ever really go is the grocery store once or twice a week, which is not my idea of fun. DS goes for week without leaving the house other than the occasional walk a...

Lotus · Lotus

If so, how's that working or not working? I keep noticing that most of the people here love their alcoholics/addicts and truly seem to want to stay. Has anyone been past the point of no return but stayed anyway?

Mike E · Mike E

Hi I'm new to all this talking about my problems with groups. My wife of 6 years, which I have 2 children, has been sober for almost a year now. Within that year, she has managed to completely shut me out of her life both physically and emotionally. Let me give a brief history of her behavior. I married h...

newbie46 · newbie46

My father was an alcoholic. He passed away last year (not due to alcoholism). He stopped drinking 20 years ago which is good. In some ways, throughout my life, I felt I had a better relationship with my father than my mother which confuses me, considering he was the alcoholic not her. Our relation...

sfriesen · sfriesen

new here. I have lived with my aloholic spouse for 17 years. 3 years ago...the emotional and verbal abuse and black outs were out of control...I started going to alanon and moved 10 minute drive away. We seen each other in everyway, always together except I would remove myself when he drank. He sta...

Loupiness · Loupiness

As I battled with my dog this morning, trying to get her to swallow her treat-covered Prozac (yes, you read that right) that she usually gobbles up, I confirmed in my head how truly, alcoholism/codependency can affect every member of the family. My dog is nuts. In this one situation, I refused to admit...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((All))) Have been going through too much lately and am so depressed. Yesterday I went to the funeral of a good friend. John was only 43, he died because of the disease of alcoholism. John had been through so much in his life, conquered many battles but in the end he couldnt win over alcohol. I'll mis...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Okay I keep trying to figure this out and am coming up no where so any ESH would be greatly appreciated. My mom is an A. Has been for as long as I can remember. I always said especially when I first came here her drinking doesn't and has never affected me. But the more I keep coming back the more I see it really a...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Ok - some of you know that I'm taking those tiny steps toward divorce (and are probably thinking, 'just get on with it, already!' lol). I actually started filling out paperwork yesterday and finished transitioning my online bill pay to my new account today. True to my codependent nature, I'm getti...

Inpain · Inpain

I can say when I came to al-anon, I had no idea what detachment really was. I'm still trying to get a hold on it, but for anyone who is newer than me and "yes" I'm a newbie, it really is the key, I feel, to feeling peace in your life. I have really had to take a hard look at how my reactions, and obsess...

calli0299 · calli0299

My AH has been drinking since I've known him 20 years ago, but never excessively until about 6 months ago. At that time, it became even worse than I knew at the time. Over the course of March, April, May and June he had two hospitalizations and it became clear there was a BIG problem. In June, he agreed t...

Jozie · Jozie

Today for some reason, it hit me that "Yep it really is Working", I mean, when i got here.. and that was 7 short months ago, every time that someone would say words "STRONGLY" or have a view that I never in this world would have thought of, but 1st Took Offence, feeling Pointed at, a...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

I have not posted for a long time but I come here often and I am eternally grateful for this site and the awesome people here. Some of you may remember me from when I started here back in 06.What a mess I was.After 37 years married to an A,17 of them in "sobriety",I discovered my AH had an online gi...

maresie · maresie

2 years plus out from leaving the ex A finances are still a huge issue. I have major major dental work to get done. So I am looking at ways to save money. So far I've been able to find $50.00 a month off the top. I know I can save on my storage but it means doing a lot of work and I need to give myself 2 months minim...

maresie · maresie

People often used to say to me when I was under stress (which was actually bombarded when I was with the ex A) that I needed to increase my self care. This week I've been tested, my schedule was changed inadvertently and I am owed some money I am not going to get now for quite a while. There were other issues...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I been with my AH for 32 years. He used to be abusive I stayed because that is what I grew up with. I know now that is not what I want in my life any more. He is a functioning A he works and works OT makes good money. But he got quiet now Like he is in his own little world. I feel so alone. I have all boys they do not want...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So hears how it goes; my nephew who is 19 years old & not married got his "so-called girlfriend pregnant & thought he was gonna coast through being a father. My opinion which probably doesn't really matter, is that because he has bipolar disorder, he probably shouldn't have any kids! N...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Want to hear success stories about marriages lasting after A gets out of rehab and sober..... (Preview) Hello- I am new to this forum, but not new to Al Anon. I have been going to Al Anon for over 2 years because of my AH. I am extremely grateful that my husband, on his own volition, put himself in rehab a month ago. He was away for 3 weeks in a detox center then living on the campus of the hospital doing his out...	Maine Girl	14	1222	Jul 28, 2009 by maresie
	Control and Shame (Preview) Well, I hadn't been doing much thinking about the A as you know I had moved on to other obsessions with other people. :) Anyway, the A had been around and supposedly clean for over 30 days. So we had been visiting his mom on Tuesdays like normal- that is my son and I. And he had been there consistently so...	Codependent	6	1127	Jul 28, 2009 by carolinagirl
	AH officially trying to manage without help (Preview) So he IS trying to quit drinking, and happened to mention it to me in passing. Since when? When did he decide this and why was I left in the dark about it for a week? Because I threw out some stuff of his that I thought he'd no longer be needing since I thought he was drinking again. How was I to know, I gue...	Lotus	5	730	Jul 28, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Fiance in rehab, but thinks he won't need AA when he gets out (pink cloud) (Preview) Hello, My fiance is currently in rehab, and it appears he is on his "pink cloud," and is feeling quite invincible. He believes he is strong enought to handle life without having to go to AA meetings when he gets out. He told me that he thinks AA is more of a service to those who had problems wit...	crystalcc	6	644	Jul 28, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Can an Alocoholic ever be forgiven and the marriage repaired? (Preview) Can an Alocoholic ever be forgiven and the marriage repaired? When an alcoholic has all desire to drink removed, works the steps and has a spiritual awakening. Alanon states that the family situation is bound to improve. AA says permanent marriage breakups and seperations, however are unusual in A...	All I can be	11	978	Jul 28, 2009 by Diva
	A slip or a slump? (Preview) Ever since finding out that EXABF opened a facebook acct using my last name I have been feeling "off" since then. My fault I know-(seems everything he does wrong always is somehow. Yes I know I was the one to seak out information I obviously was not ready to deal with. I even went back last n...	shellyj123	7	838	Jul 28, 2009 by Karilynn
	so what about telling his mother or best friend? (Preview) it's really, really sad that after 5 years, i barely know my AH's "best" friend. mainly because AH compartmentalizes all of his different relationships and doesn't allow people to mingle (he's got his alkie buddies and then real friends and then some who are a mix - those are the worst). ...	xter	7	675	Jul 27, 2009 by maresie
	A standard to live by (Preview) The July 27th reading in ODAAT in Al-Anon got me to thinking about what if alcoholism had not been a part of the four marriages I have been in, would they have succeeded had alcoholism not been a part? What about other relationships that I have had where alcoholism was a part, would the removal of the alco...	Overcome	1	548	Jul 27, 2009 by maresie
	Complicated Grief (Preview) Hello, I am new here...been looking for love in all the wrong places! I have read alot of the message trails here...and immediately found comfort...Thank you! I am going through a relationship breakup right now...one that I Knew in my soul I should not have entered...two years ago! And in the begi...	Risenshine	4	481	Jul 27, 2009 by maresie
	when will enough b enough (Preview) Hi all-I remember a few years ago when I first came to this board, I was asking this question about my AH. I guess I have learned something because now I only ask it about me.Quiz Question:How long will I stay in this stupid 19 year marriage?a- foreverb- just for todayc- any day now I am seeing the lawyer/k...	gknee	5	691	Jul 27, 2009 by maresie
	So Ticked Off -- Again (Preview) I'm so sick and tired of my mother's -- what I FEEL like doing is just ending ALL communication with her. I don't always feel that way and it makes me sad to think of not having a relationship with my mother, but she's really been acting like an lately. She's posted on her Facebook account (which pops up on...	GlitterGirl	6	508	Jul 27, 2009 by maresie
	stuck in the middle of abandonment (Preview) I found myself in a real funk tonight, and it took me a while to figure out why. My kids went on vacation with their very sober dad, something we never did, and are spending the week with relatives at a beautiful cabin on a lake in another state. AH keeps sending photos to "keep my heart close to the...	Loupiness	5	886	Jul 27, 2009 by Karilynn
	A new day... (Preview) I'm feeling so much better today it's like night and day. My boyfriend who I have seen and/or talked to every day for the past six months (today is our anniversary) has decided that he won't talk to me anymore which has driven me completely insane for the past 4 or 5 days and I have acted like a crazy woman c...	carolinagirl	3	972	Jul 27, 2009 by Karilynn
	43 & hangin' in there! (Preview) YESTERDAY I CELEBRATED MY 43RD B-DAY! IT WAS A VERY NICE DAY & I GOT A LOT OF BIRTHDAY MESSAGES FROM FRIENDS & FAMILY. I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO DOESN'T MIND SHARING MY AGE. EVERYONE IN MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS ALWAYS TELL ME I AM STILL YOUNG BUT SOMETIMES I DON'T FEEL IT! WHEN DO THE PAIN & STR...	Hoot Nanny	11	770	Jul 27, 2009 by Karilynn
	Another one out the door...sober. (Preview) Aloha MIP family Saw the wife, or now I say widow, of an old friend of mine from program. We first met in another program for a problem we shared as a result of our drinking. I was able to give him something about his anger that he was very grateful to have and helped him in his family, program and community r...	Jerry F	16	761	Jul 27, 2009 by Karilynn
	i asked for a separation tonight (Preview) i woke up this morning, secure in my decision to ask for a separation, to ask him to move out. all day long, i was in a good mood, very sure of myself. his shenanigans this week were a huge blow to me and i find that i absolutely cannot live like this anymore. i have been feeling like i cannot live like this f...	xter	10	725	Jul 26, 2009 by xter
	active vs. dry (Preview) I am fed up with my relationship. Everytime I let go and give stuff to my hp things seem to improve for a few days, then everything goes back to the same old way. My bf keeps chosing to hang out and do stuff with everyone but me. He's always coming up with excuses why I can't go somewhere with him. Right now he'...	buick23	2	524	Jul 26, 2009 by Sincerely
	A's everywhere (Preview) I was thinking about something yesterday. My abf drank for years, his dad drank for years, one of his sisters ex is addicted to A and drugs and is abusive, his other sister is with an A, his niece is dating a boy who's stepdad is an A who is abusive. Another friends of mine's bf was addicted to pills, my uncle...	buick23	4	560	Jul 26, 2009 by Sincerely
	Controlling... (and maybe a bit of a vent) (Preview) I just got into a yelling match with my sober AH. He has been sober for 4 months and diligently working his program. He has decided that he is taking time off of work tomorrow to go fishing with a long time alcoholic drinking buddy who is still drinking heavily and calls here drunk regularly (we don't an...	TLM	8	639	Jul 26, 2009 by TLM
	Feeling quilty (Preview) I'm feeling quilty??? Why?? I don't have a clue. It's storming outside and I haven't called my sister....Ya know the one I was talking about last night...that calls me drunk all night long leaving nasty messages because I won't answer the phone after the hour long conversation we had just a couple h...	katiecat	3	562	Jul 26, 2009 by Temple
	I just got so excited. (Preview) I sent a PM, and scrolled back up through my info. I saw 110, and thought there for a second it was my weight! Well, it should be. Tee-Hee, Temple	Temple	3	386	Jul 26, 2009 by Temple
	Dealing with my sister (Preview) As I'm sitting here I have had about 6 or more calls from my sister that I had talked to earlier for more than an hour. This is Friday...her day off and again drunk by 2:00. I go through this week after week....listening to her, giving advice, and just trying to help her anyway I can along with the rest of t...	katiecat	6	1175	Jul 25, 2009 by wp
	Looking for a sponser (Preview) I'm new to alanon and don't understand it yet but know I need help in this department. I grew up in a alcoholic home, had problems with alcohol myself and really struggling to learn how to deal with others. I came from a large family and still deal with a sister that is still drinking and causing alot of h...	katiecat	4	530	Jul 25, 2009 by katiecat
	Sad and really disappointed in myself (Preview) Is there anyone else here as nosey or curious as I am. I used to blame it on 20+ years in Security/Corrections where I was paid to be nosey but I've been out of that filed for 3 years now. Was on my facebook page today-hadn't been there for awhile and EXABF is NOT there. Did my thing and then saw a spot where y...	shellyj123	8	782	Jul 25, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	All I can say is "wow" (Preview) I met a man. He is kinda wonderful it seems (I am cautious of course). We have been getting to be friends, slowly. Yesterday he tells me that al-anon pretty much saved his life. I had not mentioned a thing about al-anon to him. He has a son who is an addict. I knew his son was an addict but I did not know he...	Jean4444	11	783	Jul 25, 2009 by Maria123
	Confused ! Why do i feel nothing .... when my sister feels something ? (Preview) It seems like the drama is never ending for me right now . Yesterday i learned that my father ( recovering alcoholic) who abandoned us when we were very small and we are going to visit in Hamilton ( we live in P.E.I ) next friday , landed himself in the hospital for a coulpe of days . He is suppose to use a cpac m...	chevygirl	3	694	Jul 25, 2009 by Jean4444
	Saying "yes" when I really mean "no" (Preview) "So many times I wanted to bite off my tongue after saying, "Yes" when I really wanted to say, "No." This is a quote from today's reading (July 25) in C2C. This is really a boundary issue and one that has been a hard one in my life. There have been a few times in my life where sayin...	Overcome	6	751	Jul 25, 2009 by Jean4444
	Controlling issues (Preview) Now I'm reworking my fourth step which is long overdue, I'm able to address some of the issue of myself being controlling and finding myself around other people who are controlling. I don't think its a coincidence anymore that I found myself so dependent on people who were incredibly controlling. ...	maresie	4	494	Jul 25, 2009 by maresie
	Praying for the knowledge of God's will and the power to carry that out. (Preview) In today's C2C reading Toyohiko Kagawa says "God alone knows the secret plan of the things he will do for the world using my hand." I often forget that God has a detailed plan for my life. My job is to seek that plan and ask him daily to show me that plan. If I go off on a wild goose chase following so...	Overcome	6	2311	Jul 25, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Should I tell his parents? (Preview) First off, I would like to thank everyone on here for all of the help and support. I am going to my second alanon meeting tonight, and hoping it will help me feel better. My fiance is an alcoholic and drug addict. He is currently on a three day bender. He abuses any drug he can get his hands on. I know I nee...	mermaid88	9	808	Jul 24, 2009 by Christy
	Trying to be an active member of Alanon (Preview) What is the best way to find an alanon meeting where I feel like I fit in? I have been to a few meetings, and have mostly felt uncomfortable and out of place. I am VERY new to alanon, but I would like to learn more about the program. I like this message board a lot, but being around others would be helpful, t...	mermaid88	5	582	Jul 24, 2009 by lmw
	feeling low today (Preview) i've been home sick for the past 3 days. walking pneumonia. ah has been very short tempered. i've been walking on eggshells, swallowing anger. i'm hurting today. i feel hopeless. i have a f2f meeting tonight, thank goodness. i'm trying to turn my obsessive thoughts over to my HP, but it's hard....	xter	9	810	Jul 24, 2009 by Loupiness
	my story and I'm sticking o it (Preview) Hey all-- I am brand spanking new to this whole idea, although I have attended support groups of other kinds before now. It is with some gladness that I am joining this one, and I wonder "Why am I glad that I have a support group?" it's as if I'm glad I NEED one. I must need my head examined. that sa...	woopsadaisy	6	753	Jul 24, 2009 by woopsadaisy
	Maybe it's just my little laptop (Preview) Lately I have noticed some posts are formatted so wide that I have to scroll back and forth to be able to read the whole thing. Maybe it can be fixed at the "home office" or maybe some of you could hit "enter" every so often and keep it within my cheap little screen? I don't want to mis...	Temple	2	579	Jul 24, 2009 by Temple
	Leaving (Preview) I have tried this board. I never intended to make this a regular habit. I go to a wonderful church with wonderful people. That is my lifeline. I hope you all find solutions to your problems.	newbie46	6	917	Jul 24, 2009 by maresie
	New Here -- In need of advice (Preview) Hello, This is my story ~ In April, I met and fell in love with a man living at the local Salvation Army in their recovery program for alcoholism. He was nearing the end of nine months there and had been sober for 12 months. He presented himself and his situation very well. He talked about his transformat...	yabble	6	797	Jul 24, 2009 by maresie
	Having a really hard day... (Preview) Daughter is living with others, we are still in communication but it hurts my heart that we can't be civil to each other. I miss her even tho she's mostly rotten to me. Having problems again with my boyfriend and it's breaking my heart. Scrambling to find a babysitter for this weekend so I can work my sec...	carolinagirl	10	921	Jul 24, 2009 by maresie
	The Boomerang caught me right across the head!. (Preview) Do most A's drinking or sober continue to maintain the same type of behavior patterns for life-drunk or sober and in recovery? I remember reading somewhere that they were like a Boomerang-they always come back. Have managed to maintain No Contact with EXABF for over a month......the longest time...	shellyj123	3	729	Jul 24, 2009 by debilyn
	Find it hard to say how i really feel ! (Preview) My exAB called me last night . It's been two months since we've talked on the phone . Four months since i've seen him . He moved on to another relationship and left me broken hearted . That relationship didn't last , so now he is working on himself , going to AA meetings and counselling . I have tried to detac...	chevygirl	4	1199	Jul 23, 2009 by woopsadaisy
	First post introduction (Preview) Hello everyone, My name is Jean Ann I am 55 years old and sober over 30 years. I have 2 daughters Shanon 35 and Danielle 25. Shanon has two sons Cole 2 years and Brennan 11 years, Danielle has two daughters Destiny 4 years and Michelle age 6 months. Both of my beautiful daughters are using heavy drugs. H...	Jeanann	9	804	Jul 23, 2009 by Temple
	Private messages (Preview) Is there a way of blocking private messages on here? I looked on my profile settings and there is no option. I only want to receive responses on the board. Thank you	newbie46	4	650	Jul 23, 2009 by Rita G
	Separation (Preview) There must be something about the stars in the summer that makes me want to feel free and alive. Its been nearly a year since I found this forum. Its been months since I've come here for support. My husband moved out on Saturday. I think I feel relieved, I'm not sure yet. I've been staying with him because I...	StargazerLily	4	770	Jul 23, 2009 by Overcome
	Principles above personalities (Preview) In todays C2C reading it talks about Principles above personalities. I think this is a very important part of our program. When I have an issue with someone I can remember "How Important Is It?" and as the Al-Anon's suggested closing states, "though you may not like all of us, you'll l...	Overcome	3	5474	Jul 23, 2009 by Jean4444
	Is this a bad idea or am I being narrow minded? (Preview) AH is slowly reintroducing alcohol back into his life. I've been stuck at home with no car for a year and a half, with a toddler, and the only place I ever really go is the grocery store once or twice a week, which is not my idea of fun. DS goes for week without leaving the house other than the occasional walk a...	Lotus	7	887	Jul 22, 2009 by buick23
	Anyone staying in it for the kids? (Preview) If so, how's that working or not working? I keep noticing that most of the people here love their alcoholics/addicts and truly seem to want to stay. Has anyone been past the point of no return but stayed anyway?	Lotus	13	949	Jul 22, 2009 by Maria123
	Should I beg for her love? (Preview) Hi I'm new to all this talking about my problems with groups. My wife of 6 years, which I have 2 children, has been sober for almost a year now. Within that year, she has managed to completely shut me out of her life both physically and emotionally. Let me give a brief history of her behavior. I married h...	Mike E	6	821	Jul 22, 2009 by Maria123
	confused - part 2 (Preview) My father was an alcoholic. He passed away last year (not due to alcoholism). He stopped drinking 20 years ago which is good. In some ways, throughout my life, I felt I had a better relationship with my father than my mother which confuses me, considering he was the alcoholic not her. Our relation...	newbie46	8	848	Jul 22, 2009 by Dave Harm
	Recovering alcoholic seems like he is in the dry drunk syndrome (Preview) new here. I have lived with my aloholic spouse for 17 years. 3 years ago...the emotional and verbal abuse and black outs were out of control...I started going to alanon and moved 10 minute drive away. We seen each other in everyway, always together except I would remove myself when he drank. He sta...	sfriesen	6	2663	Jul 22, 2009 by sfriesen
	male vs female vs dog (Preview) As I battled with my dog this morning, trying to get her to swallow her treat-covered Prozac (yes, you read that right) that she usually gobbles up, I confirmed in my head how truly, alcoholism/codependency can affect every member of the family. My dog is nuts. In this one situation, I refused to admit...	Loupiness	2	839	Jul 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	So tired (Preview) Hi (((All))) Have been going through too much lately and am so depressed. Yesterday I went to the funeral of a good friend. John was only 43, he died because of the disease of alcoholism. John had been through so much in his life, conquered many battles but in the end he couldnt win over alcohol. I'll mis...	Mariner	2	548	Jul 22, 2009 by Rita G
	Why is it like this? (Preview) Okay I keep trying to figure this out and am coming up no where so any ESH would be greatly appreciated. My mom is an A. Has been for as long as I can remember. I always said especially when I first came here her drinking doesn't and has never affected me. But the more I keep coming back the more I see it really a...	Melissa21	7	797	Jul 22, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Must. Stop. Obsessing... And Accept Reality (Preview) Ok - some of you know that I'm taking those tiny steps toward divorce (and are probably thinking, 'just get on with it, already!' lol). I actually started filling out paperwork yesterday and finished transitioning my online bill pay to my new account today. True to my codependent nature, I'm getti...	blender_girl	6	1232	Jul 21, 2009 by xter
	The shift (Preview) I can say when I came to al-anon, I had no idea what detachment really was. I'm still trying to get a hold on it, but for anyone who is newer than me and "yes" I'm a newbie, it really is the key, I feel, to feeling peace in your life. I have really had to take a hard look at how my reactions, and obsess...	Inpain	6	778	Jul 21, 2009 by katiecat
	New Here - need advice, guidance. I'm in tears and torn up over AH. (Preview) My AH has been drinking since I've known him 20 years ago, but never excessively until about 6 months ago. At that time, it became even worse than I knew at the time. Over the course of March, April, May and June he had two hospitalizations and it became clear there was a BIG problem. In June, he agreed t...	calli0299	9	768	Jul 21, 2009 by N8SMOM
	Take what You like & LEAVE the Rest (Preview) Today for some reason, it hit me that "Yep it really is Working", I mean, when i got here.. and that was 7 short months ago, every time that someone would say words "STRONGLY" or have a view that I never in this world would have thought of, but 1st Took Offence, feeling Pointed at, a...	Jozie	3	1433	Jul 21, 2009 by maresie
	am I missing something? (Preview) I have not posted for a long time but I come here often and I am eternally grateful for this site and the awesome people here. Some of you may remember me from when I started here back in 06.What a mess I was.After 37 years married to an A,17 of them in "sobriety",I discovered my AH had an online gi...	drucilla06	5	869	Jul 21, 2009 by Tracy
	Making the best of it rather than seething in resentment. (Preview) 2 years plus out from leaving the ex A finances are still a huge issue. I have major major dental work to get done. So I am looking at ways to save money. So far I've been able to find $50.00 a month off the top. I know I can save on my storage but it means doing a lot of work and I need to give myself 2 months minim...	maresie	3	570	Jul 21, 2009 by maresie
	Increasing self care in times of stress. (Preview) People often used to say to me when I was under stress (which was actually bombarded when I was with the ex A) that I needed to increase my self care. This week I've been tested, my schedule was changed inadvertently and I am owed some money I am not going to get now for quite a while. There were other issues...	maresie	3	719	Jul 21, 2009 by kitty
	Been So Long And Confused Again (Preview) I been with my AH for 32 years. He used to be abusive I stayed because that is what I grew up with. I know now that is not what I want in my life any more. He is a functioning A he works and works OT makes good money. But he got quiet now Like he is in his own little world. I feel so alone. I have all boys they do not want...	peacewithin	4	788	Jul 21, 2009 by Searching for Peace
	Feelin' a little guilty (Preview) So hears how it goes; my nephew who is 19 years old & not married got his "so-called girlfriend pregnant & thought he was gonna coast through being a father. My opinion which probably doesn't really matter, is that because he has bipolar disorder, he probably shouldn't have any kids! N...	Hoot Nanny	4	712	Jul 21, 2009 by Jozie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.