Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kristielaine · kristielaine

I attended my first Al-Anon meeting today and I must say it felt good to know all the crap my ex told me was typical comments. When it came time to share, I cried like a baby explaining what happened and that I was just four days out of this relationship. I still miss his, but its going to get better :(

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

He would prefer to be miserable. I don't know why I never saw it before, why I just realized it now...in the middle of a talk about where things went wrong. I clearly remember him choosing to be unhappy-about everything! I would run myself ragged trying to make things right for him and they never were. He...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello and Hugs My MIP Family, I'd like to start by thanking Overcoming for chairing last's night Step and Traditions meeting. I would also like to apologize to everyone for popping in, sharing and running off. If you have a second, I'd like to share a little bit about my day yesterday. Baiscally, it w...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I went on vacation 2 times in July and it was awsome with out my AH. But when I came home I could smell the beer and cigs on his breath. He asked Did you miss me. He++ no this last time last weekend I went to his family cottage with his dad and step mom. AH made me feel guilty about going to his familys place. I did...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH is smoking weed to "curb the cravings". This is a horribly msguided attempt to prove to me he's serious about change. I don't even know where to start or what to think. I already told him I want my divorce. The man is terminally ill and I wanted to be there for him but I can't. This is too much....

Christy · Christy

I came upon this old post I wrote about a year and a half ago. With all the new people we've had since then I thought perhaps this portion of it may be of some help. What made me post it today is the way that living with alcoholism can seem to change who we are and rob us of who we once were. Below are some state...

MamaAmy · MamaAmy

Hi, My name is Amy. I just stumbled upon this forum doing a google search about DUI stuff. I've been reading through some of the posts and find it oddly comforting that so many people will understand what I too am going through. I've never actually admitted out loud to anyone that my husband is an alcohol...

Tracy · Tracy

One of my f2f meetings ahs voted me in to chair the meetings for next 6 months has anyone got any tips for chairing a good meeting, any ground rules etc

Bezer · Bezer

I just attended my first "Al-Anon meeting last night. All of you were right, the ability to listen to others who have traveled the same path was comforting. There were no lightening bolts, but I am planning to "keep coming back". I surprised myself with my honesty in sharing but ha...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I have decided to attend the Al-Anon retreat today. It will be my first one. I prayed to God to give me the strength to make the right decision and to look after my husband and son while I'm gone. I also got some information yesterday that helped ease my mind about leaving my husband alone with our son,...

blender_girl · blender_girl

After yet another drama session last night, complete with verbal abuse in front of my child, I finally stood up and said "Regardless of what you might think, I AM a human being and do not deserve to be spoken to that way." No yelling, no crying, just simple and matter of fact. This pretty much...

rach04 · rach04

We have a set of mutual friends and im struggling with them learning the concept of detachment. We all went bowling yesterday and the bowling alley is one of ah old hang outs (hes been sober 4 weeks). Well after a bit and i could see it coming he got agitate and asked me for the house keys so i gave them to him....

beacheemom · beacheemom

Hi all, hope everyone is finding the strength and happiness they deserve! Right now I feel like I am in a different place than where I was, in a way. Husband and I are now sleeping in the same bed ( we werent because of newborn and kids) it had been years since we had slept in the same bed. So- for the past 3 ni...

danz123 · danz123

Due to my vacation and Edna's puter problems we are postponing the August business meeting. It will be held Sunday August 9th 9pm est. Please pm me if you have any agenda items. Thanks. hugs, danz

isaiah5336 · isaiah5336

Sooooooo...... If my W (possibly my AW) drinks every day, actually by that I mean every night, almost without fail. She drinks at least 1 bottle of wine a night on weeknights, sometimes more, no matter what time she(we) get home in the evening, and usually more than a bottle on weekend nights. I have...

xter · xter

remember how posted that i asked for a separation and that he was going to move out? yeah, he hasn't moved out yet. hasn't even come up with a plan for what he would do, where he would stay. and at first, he was all nice, and sweet and i FOOLISHLY thought, "well... maybe...? maybe all i needed to say w...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up this am determined to get out of this slump and get it together........that lasted until I got to work at 8am. I decided to quit dating a guy, who I have been dating for the past couple of months. G and I have known one another for 10 years and have been buds forever-dating was new, but I felt he was wa...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Yesterday, my husband had to report to the court system for a pre-trial monitoring appointment (he is scheduled to appear to court on Aug. 20 for his DUI). He called me from there and informed me that (according to the courts) he isn't supposed to be drinking, but that he did have a few beers earlier in th...

Suzannah · Suzannah

PRICELESS, Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement in response to my post "Struggling." I awoke this morning and the first thing I felt I had to do was go and thank God for this day and another chance to continue walking this path to holistic recovery. I was blessed by finding my re...

sterling7 · sterling7

Hi everyone, I am relatively new to Al-Anon and MIP. I have been to five f2f meetings and a handful of online MIP meetings. I have also read a lot of the posts here on the message boards and find them extremely helpful. So although I am a bit shy about sharing for the first time, I want to give back by begin...

Inpain · Inpain

I need some opinions here because I've been given conflicting information and I suspect there is a reason but here it goes... My AH cheated on me. It was a horrible situation. He was drunk. He was kicked out and did all the begging to come home. I didn't want him back. We discussed that because this w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm still having problems with the BF. He was so good for 6 months and then bam, everything stopped. He has a lot going on at home and work and I am feeling so needy. Things are good and I'm up and then things are bad and I'm down and I feel almost as if I'm with an addict again but I'm not. A lot of the down is b...

Cashey100 · Cashey100

Hi all... my name is Cash, I'm looking for Alanon online support. I went to my first Alanon meeting yesterday, and I quite enjoyed the sharing. I'm a recovering alcoholic, 2 and a half years sober, currently at home on a visit with alcoholic father and non-alcoholic mother. I figured this visit wou...

chevygirl · chevygirl

It's getting down to the crunch time , i meet my A birth father in three days and am feeling - i really don't know what i'm feeling . A mixture of everything , fear , nervous , a little lost , terrified . Sometimes i feel like a little girl again who just feels so hurt that her father left and didn't come back ev...

Overcome · Overcome

I love the fact that al-anon is a spiritually based program and that people from all walks of life and religious beliefs can work this program with the "God of their understanding". In today's reading in C2C (and I encourage your to read it! ) it talks about this "Higher Power" an...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I wanted to thank everyone for all the ESH the past few days. It means a lot to me to know so many people care and take the time to share with me. I'm still having a really hard time today-I can't seem to pull myself out of this slump and I know I have all the information and insight to do so, but I just can't seem...

Bella333 · Bella333

I recognize more and more that I focus on the A because I don't know what to do with my own life. I welcome any chance to be with him, help him etc. not only because I do love him but also because I can't figure out my own life. I feel numb and at a complete loss when I think about what I want to do with my life. I feel...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Friends, I have not been around MIP much this last week. My A Hubby was offshore and I decided to take a different approach to things. It struck me on day when I was putting gasoline in my car. I was happy! And I decided to do what I used to do before I met my husband 10 years ago. And that was just go w...

barisax · barisax

Yep, I really did it! I said I was going to but not when, so now it's done! Biggest difference: not spending every waking moment on some aspect of the wedding. It really came off well. My sober-A stepdaughter gave the toast (with ginger ale) and it was one of the nicest things anybody ever said about me....

Suzannah · Suzannah

...really am. Just cannot talk, write, think, express. Just so tired and so struggling. Utterly exhausted and feel so wiped out. Why is life such a burden at times? (Rhetorical question, that is not expecting answers.) Letting go of it all...it is just too much for me...and hoping that God will pic...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I RUN INTO SOMEONE WHO HAS A B-DAY THE SAME AS MINE. NOT TOO LONG AGO I ACTUALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO IS EXACTLY THE SAME AGE AS ME! THAT IS RARE! ANYWAY, NO MATTER WHAT AGE YOU ARE, YOU ARE YOUNG AT HEART!

Trishk1026 · Trishk1026

Hi, my name is Trish and my husband is an alcoholic. He is going into detox tomorrow morning at 10:30 once again. I hope this will be last time but I have my doubts. I know now that I also need help. I never thought that I would be in this situation and frankly dont know how to handle it. I know that I cant t...

chezza · chezza

Hello people I felt a strong urge to come on the board and share with you guys tonight on something that I did let get to me today though have quickly been able to turn the negative thoughts around. I was chatting a forum today which i'm a regular to on a topic discussing physical appearance of a star negati...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am trying to be more patient with myself & others. Recovery can sometimes be very slow--sometimes it feels like I am going backwards instead of forwards but sometimes I just slip but I don't totally fall! Like it says in the Today's reminder: "Keep coming back"--It not only applies...

mermaid88 · mermaid88

Good afternoon! Being new to the world of alanon, I have a few questions... How do I get a sponsor? Do I need a sponsor? Do people offer up services to be a sponsor?

Overcome · Overcome

I've been having a lot of problems with my computer as of late and am going to have to get a new one. Just wanted to let my al-anon friends know that I am doing ok and will return as soon as I get my new system up and running. Overcome

Mike E · Mike E

Well, I went to my first meeting today. I was surprised how similar my feelings were to the other members. I have been doing my best to please my wife who has completely detached herself from me. She wants her space. They told me I was a people pleaser and I shouldn't try to do thing to try and control my w...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Wow! I have to start with that because I am still reeling from the events of last night. My AH decided that he would kick our 15 year old son out of the house because he wouldn't get in the car if AH was driving because AH was quite intoxicated. Yes, literally he left the kid at the park, with a Park Ranger. Now...

maresie · maresie

One of Overcome's posts recently really struck me about having problems before I ever met the ex A. I certainly did not have a healthy structure to my life or an idea where I was going or how to get there. I was all too ready to hitch onto the exA's star and then blame him when it became a disaster. These d...

meagain · meagain

I was divorced about 26 yrs ago from my A husband. My 3 sons were 10/11/12. They are now 34/35/36. I am happily married now for 23 yrs. My new husband is very responsible, hard worker, the total opposite from my ex. The question is he helped me raise my 3 boys, and they saw his work ethics etc. My boys are hard...

Maine Girl · Maine Girl

Hello- I am new to this forum, but not new to Al Anon. I have been going to Al Anon for over 2 years because of my AH. I am extremely grateful that my husband, on his own volition, put himself in rehab a month ago. He was away for 3 weeks in a detox center then living on the campus of the hospital doing his out...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, I hadn't been doing much thinking about the A as you know I had moved on to other obsessions with other people. :) Anyway, the A had been around and supposedly clean for over 30 days. So we had been visiting his mom on Tuesdays like normal- that is my son and I. And he had been there consistently so...

Lotus · Lotus

So he IS trying to quit drinking, and happened to mention it to me in passing. Since when? When did he decide this and why was I left in the dark about it for a week? Because I threw out some stuff of his that I thought he'd no longer be needing since I thought he was drinking again. How was I to know, I gue...

crystalcc · crystalcc

Hello, My fiance is currently in rehab, and it appears he is on his "pink cloud," and is feeling quite invincible. He believes he is strong enought to handle life without having to go to AA meetings when he gets out. He told me that he thinks AA is more of a service to those who had problems wit...

All I can be · All I can be

Can an Alocoholic ever be forgiven and the marriage repaired? When an alcoholic has all desire to drink removed, works the steps and has a spiritual awakening. Alanon states that the family situation is bound to improve. AA says permanent marriage breakups and seperations, however are unusual in A...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Ever since finding out that EXABF opened a facebook acct using my last name I have been feeling "off" since then. My fault I know-(seems everything he does wrong always is somehow. Yes I know I was the one to seak out information I obviously was not ready to deal with. I even went back last n...

xter · xter

it's really, really sad that after 5 years, i barely know my AH's "best" friend. mainly because AH compartmentalizes all of his different relationships and doesn't allow people to mingle (he's got his alkie buddies and then real friends and then some who are a mix - those are the worst). ...

Overcome · Overcome

The July 27th reading in ODAAT in Al-Anon got me to thinking about what if alcoholism had not been a part of the four marriages I have been in, would they have succeeded had alcoholism not been a part? What about other relationships that I have had where alcoholism was a part, would the removal of the alco...

Risenshine · Risenshine

Hello, I am new here...been looking for love in all the wrong places! I have read alot of the message trails here...and immediately found comfort...Thank you! I am going through a relationship breakup right now...one that I Knew in my soul I should not have entered...two years ago! And in the begi...

gknee · gknee

Hi all-I remember a few years ago when I first came to this board, I was asking this question about my AH. I guess I have learned something because now I only ask it about me.Quiz Question:How long will I stay in this stupid 19 year marriage?a- foreverb- just for todayc- any day now I am seeing the lawyer/k...

GlitterGirl · GlitterGirl

I'm so sick and tired of my mother's -- what I FEEL like doing is just ending ALL communication with her. I don't always feel that way and it makes me sad to think of not having a relationship with my mother, but she's really been acting like an lately. She's posted on her Facebook account (which pops up on...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I found myself in a real funk tonight, and it took me a while to figure out why. My kids went on vacation with their very sober dad, something we never did, and are spending the week with relatives at a beautiful cabin on a lake in another state. AH keeps sending photos to "keep my heart close to the...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm feeling so much better today it's like night and day. My boyfriend who I have seen and/or talked to every day for the past six months (today is our anniversary) has decided that he won't talk to me anymore which has driven me completely insane for the past 4 or 5 days and I have acted like a crazy woman c...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

YESTERDAY I CELEBRATED MY 43RD B-DAY! IT WAS A VERY NICE DAY & I GOT A LOT OF BIRTHDAY MESSAGES FROM FRIENDS & FAMILY. I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO DOESN'T MIND SHARING MY AGE. EVERYONE IN MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS ALWAYS TELL ME I AM STILL YOUNG BUT SOMETIMES I DON'T FEEL IT! WHEN DO THE PAIN & STR...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP family Saw the wife, or now I say widow, of an old friend of mine from program. We first met in another program for a problem we shared as a result of our drinking. I was able to give him something about his anger that he was very grateful to have and helped him in his family, program and community r...

xter · xter

i woke up this morning, secure in my decision to ask for a separation, to ask him to move out. all day long, i was in a good mood, very sure of myself. his shenanigans this week were a huge blow to me and i find that i absolutely cannot live like this anymore. i have been feeling like i cannot live like this f...

buick23 · buick23

I am fed up with my relationship. Everytime I let go and give stuff to my hp things seem to improve for a few days, then everything goes back to the same old way. My bf keeps chosing to hang out and do stuff with everyone but me. He's always coming up with excuses why I can't go somewhere with him. Right now he'...

buick23 · buick23

I was thinking about something yesterday. My abf drank for years, his dad drank for years, one of his sisters ex is addicted to A and drugs and is abusive, his other sister is with an A, his niece is dating a boy who's stepdad is an A who is abusive. Another friends of mine's bf was addicted to pills, my uncle...

TLM · TLM

I just got into a yelling match with my sober AH. He has been sober for 4 months and diligently working his program. He has decided that he is taking time off of work tomorrow to go fishing with a long time alcoholic drinking buddy who is still drinking heavily and calls here drunk regularly (we don't an...

katiecat · katiecat

I'm feeling quilty??? Why?? I don't have a clue. It's storming outside and I haven't called my sister....Ya know the one I was talking about last night...that calls me drunk all night long leaving nasty messages because I won't answer the phone after the hour long conversation we had just a couple h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	First Al-Anon meeting (Preview) I attended my first Al-Anon meeting today and I must say it felt good to know all the crap my ex told me was typical comments. When it came time to share, I cried like a baby explaining what happened and that I was just four days out of this relationship. I still miss his, but its going to get better :(	kristielaine	2	678	Aug 2, 2009 by Tracy
	Another big AHA moment (Preview) He would prefer to be miserable. I don't know why I never saw it before, why I just realized it now...in the middle of a talk about where things went wrong. I clearly remember him choosing to be unhappy-about everything! I would run myself ragged trying to make things right for him and they never were. He...	RainyJamie	5	852	Aug 2, 2009 by RainyJamie
	Last night's step meeting... (Preview) Hello and Hugs My MIP Family, I'd like to start by thanking Overcoming for chairing last's night Step and Traditions meeting. I would also like to apologize to everyone for popping in, sharing and running off. If you have a second, I'd like to share a little bit about my day yesterday. Baiscally, it w...	Sincerely	2	1270	Aug 2, 2009 by debilyn
	I felt the peace within (Preview) I went on vacation 2 times in July and it was awsome with out my AH. But when I came home I could smell the beer and cigs on his breath. He asked Did you miss me. He++ no this last time last weekend I went to his family cottage with his dad and step mom. AH made me feel guilty about going to his familys place. I did...	peacewithin	3	890	Aug 1, 2009 by nmike
	This is too dumb (Preview) AH is smoking weed to "curb the cravings". This is a horribly msguided attempt to prove to me he's serious about change. I don't even know where to start or what to think. I already told him I want my divorce. The man is terminally ill and I wanted to be there for him but I can't. This is too much....	RainyJamie	7	848	Aug 1, 2009 by RainyJamie
	A re-post (Preview) I came upon this old post I wrote about a year and a half ago. With all the new people we've had since then I thought perhaps this portion of it may be of some help. What made me post it today is the way that living with alcoholism can seem to change who we are and rob us of who we once were. Below are some state...	Christy	2	853	Aug 1, 2009 by Overcome
	Introducing myself =) first timer here (Preview) Hi, My name is Amy. I just stumbled upon this forum doing a google search about DUI stuff. I've been reading through some of the posts and find it oddly comforting that so many people will understand what I too am going through. I've never actually admitted out loud to anyone that my husband is an alcohol...	MamaAmy	7	552	Aug 1, 2009 by abbyal
	chairing meetings (Preview) One of my f2f meetings ahs voted me in to chair the meetings for next 6 months has anyone got any tips for chairing a good meeting, any ground rules etc	Tracy	6	6925	Aug 1, 2009 by Mobirdie
	"A little help from my friends....." (Preview) I just attended my first "Al-Anon meeting last night. All of you were right, the ability to listen to others who have traveled the same path was comforting. There were no lightening bolts, but I am planning to "keep coming back". I surprised myself with my honesty in sharing but ha...	Bezer	7	804	Aug 1, 2009 by Lotus
	I'm going on a retreat (Preview) I have decided to attend the Al-Anon retreat today. It will be my first one. I prayed to God to give me the strength to make the right decision and to look after my husband and son while I'm gone. I also got some information yesterday that helped ease my mind about leaving my husband alone with our son,...	N8SMOM	3	790	Aug 1, 2009 by Suzannah
	Finally Did It (Preview) After yet another drama session last night, complete with verbal abuse in front of my child, I finally stood up and said "Regardless of what you might think, I AM a human being and do not deserve to be spoken to that way." No yelling, no crying, just simple and matter of fact. This pretty much...	blender_girl	10	794	Aug 1, 2009 by RainyJamie
	friends (Preview) We have a set of mutual friends and im struggling with them learning the concept of detachment. We all went bowling yesterday and the bowling alley is one of ah old hang outs (hes been sober 4 weeks). Well after a bit and i could see it coming he got agitate and asked me for the house keys so i gave them to him....	rach04	4	496	Aug 1, 2009 by rach04
	here's how it's going, I guess this is normal? (Preview) Hi all, hope everyone is finding the strength and happiness they deserve! Right now I feel like I am in a different place than where I was, in a way. Husband and I are now sleeping in the same bed ( we werent because of newborn and kids) it had been years since we had slept in the same bed. So- for the past 3 ni...	beacheemom	4	613	Jul 31, 2009 by Aloha
	August business meeting postponed (Preview) Due to my vacation and Edna's puter problems we are postponing the August business meeting. It will be held Sunday August 9th 9pm est. Please pm me if you have any agenda items. Thanks. hugs, danz	danz123	0	476	Jul 31, 2009 by danz123
	How do I know if my AW is really an Active A???????????? (Preview) Sooooooo...... If my W (possibly my AW) drinks every day, actually by that I mean every night, almost without fail. She drinks at least 1 bottle of wine a night on weeknights, sometimes more, no matter what time she(we) get home in the evening, and usually more than a bottle on weekend nights. I have...	isaiah5336	6	799	Jul 31, 2009 by abbyal
	so yeah, not gone yet... (Preview) remember how posted that i asked for a separation and that he was going to move out? yeah, he hasn't moved out yet. hasn't even come up with a plan for what he would do, where he would stay. and at first, he was all nice, and sweet and i FOOLISHLY thought, "well... maybe...? maybe all i needed to say w...	xter	7	791	Jul 31, 2009 by Maine Girl
	The light at the end of the tunnel must be a train:( I give up. (Preview) Woke up this am determined to get out of this slump and get it together........that lasted until I got to work at 8am. I decided to quit dating a guy, who I have been dating for the past couple of months. G and I have known one another for 10 years and have been buds forever-dating was new, but I felt he was wa...	shellyj123	7	560	Jul 31, 2009 by Karilynn
	Doubting Myself (Preview) Yesterday, my husband had to report to the court system for a pre-trial monitoring appointment (he is scheduled to appear to court on Aug. 20 for his DUI). He called me from there and informed me that (according to the courts) he isn't supposed to be drinking, but that he did have a few beers earlier in th...	N8SMOM	10	488	Jul 30, 2009 by sterling7
	The VALUE of friends... (Preview) PRICELESS, Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement in response to my post "Struggling." I awoke this morning and the first thing I felt I had to do was go and thank God for this day and another chance to continue walking this path to holistic recovery. I was blessed by finding my re...	Suzannah	4	367	Jul 30, 2009 by sterling7
	First MIP Share (long) (Preview) Hi everyone, I am relatively new to Al-Anon and MIP. I have been to five f2f meetings and a handful of online MIP meetings. I have also read a lot of the posts here on the message boards and find them extremely helpful. So although I am a bit shy about sharing for the first time, I want to give back by begin...	sterling7	6	657	Jul 30, 2009 by sterling7
	Need opinions (Preview) I need some opinions here because I've been given conflicting information and I suspect there is a reason but here it goes... My AH cheated on me. It was a horrible situation. He was drunk. He was kicked out and did all the begging to come home. I didn't want him back. We discussed that because this w...	Inpain	10	862	Jul 30, 2009 by Inpain
	emotional roller coaster (Preview) I'm still having problems with the BF. He was so good for 6 months and then bam, everything stopped. He has a lot going on at home and work and I am feeling so needy. Things are good and I'm up and then things are bad and I'm down and I feel almost as if I'm with an addict again but I'm not. A lot of the down is b...	carolinagirl	9	807	Jul 30, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Went to first Alanon meeting... needing support! (Preview) Hi all... my name is Cash, I'm looking for Alanon online support. I went to my first Alanon meeting yesterday, and I quite enjoyed the sharing. I'm a recovering alcoholic, 2 and a half years sober, currently at home on a visit with alcoholic father and non-alcoholic mother. I figured this visit wou...	Cashey100	4	818	Jul 30, 2009 by Cashey100
	In Need of some words of encouragement , faith and strength ..... (Preview) It's getting down to the crunch time , i meet my A birth father in three days and am feeling - i really don't know what i'm feeling . A mixture of everything , fear , nervous , a little lost , terrified . Sometimes i feel like a little girl again who just feels so hurt that her father left and didn't come back ev...	chevygirl	6	841	Jul 30, 2009 by maresie
	Al-Anon is a spiritually based program (Preview) I love the fact that al-anon is a spiritually based program and that people from all walks of life and religious beliefs can work this program with the "God of their understanding". In today's reading in C2C (and I encourage your to read it! ) it talks about this "Higher Power" an...	Overcome	2	872	Jul 30, 2009 by Tracy
	A bit of an update........Still can't pull out of it........ (Preview) I wanted to thank everyone for all the ESH the past few days. It means a lot to me to know so many people care and take the time to share with me. I'm still having a really hard time today-I can't seem to pull myself out of this slump and I know I have all the information and insight to do so, but I just can't seem...	shellyj123	5	732	Jul 30, 2009 by maresie
	Focusing on who I am.... (Preview) I recognize more and more that I focus on the A because I don't know what to do with my own life. I welcome any chance to be with him, help him etc. not only because I do love him but also because I can't figure out my own life. I feel numb and at a complete loss when I think about what I want to do with my life. I feel...	Bella333	6	570	Jul 30, 2009 by Bella333
	Confused Him (Preview) Hello Friends, I have not been around MIP much this last week. My A Hubby was offshore and I decided to take a different approach to things. It struck me on day when I was putting gasoline in my car. I was happy! And I decided to do what I used to do before I met my husband 10 years ago. And that was just go w...	Sincerely	7	679	Jul 30, 2009 by xter
	I Got Married (Preview) Yep, I really did it! I said I was going to but not when, so now it's done! Biggest difference: not spending every waking moment on some aspect of the wedding. It really came off well. My sober-A stepdaughter gave the toast (with ginger ale) and it was one of the nicest things anybody ever said about me....	barisax	20	830	Jul 30, 2009 by Suzannah
	Struggling... (Preview) ...really am. Just cannot talk, write, think, express. Just so tired and so struggling. Utterly exhausted and feel so wiped out. Why is life such a burden at times? (Rhetorical question, that is not expecting answers.) Letting go of it all...it is just too much for me...and hoping that God will pic...	Suzannah	8	978	Jul 29, 2009 by Christy
	Diva--happy belated birthday to you, too! (Preview) EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I RUN INTO SOMEONE WHO HAS A B-DAY THE SAME AS MINE. NOT TOO LONG AGO I ACTUALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO IS EXACTLY THE SAME AGE AS ME! THAT IS RARE! ANYWAY, NO MATTER WHAT AGE YOU ARE, YOU ARE YOUNG AT HEART!	Hoot Nanny	8	828	Jul 29, 2009 by Christy
	New here!! husband going to deotx tomorrow (Preview) Hi, my name is Trish and my husband is an alcoholic. He is going into detox tomorrow morning at 10:30 once again. I hope this will be last time but I have my doubts. I know now that I also need help. I never thought that I would be in this situation and frankly dont know how to handle it. I know that I cant t...	Trishk1026	4	776	Jul 29, 2009 by Trishk1026
	Live and let live v let it begin with me (Preview) Hello people I felt a strong urge to come on the board and share with you guys tonight on something that I did let get to me today though have quickly been able to turn the negative thoughts around. I was chatting a forum today which i'm a regular to on a topic discussing physical appearance of a star negati...	chezza	4	860	Jul 29, 2009 by chezza
	Today's READING(July 28th) (Preview) I am trying to be more patient with myself & others. Recovery can sometimes be very slow--sometimes it feels like I am going backwards instead of forwards but sometimes I just slip but I don't totally fall! Like it says in the Today's reminder: "Keep coming back"--It not only applies...	Hoot Nanny	1	1226	Jul 29, 2009 by Rita G
	How do you get a sponsor? (Preview) Good afternoon! Being new to the world of alanon, I have a few questions... How do I get a sponsor? Do I need a sponsor? Do people offer up services to be a sponsor?	mermaid88	5	553	Jul 28, 2009 by mermaid88
	Can't get into chat room (Preview) I've been having a lot of problems with my computer as of late and am going to have to get a new one. Just wanted to let my al-anon friends know that I am doing ok and will return as soon as I get my new system up and running. Overcome	Overcome	1	471	Jul 28, 2009 by belle1
	My fist meeting was Kinda good (Preview) Well, I went to my first meeting today. I was surprised how similar my feelings were to the other members. I have been doing my best to please my wife who has completely detached herself from me. She wants her space. They told me I was a people pleaser and I shouldn't try to do thing to try and control my w...	Mike E	9	845	Jul 28, 2009 by Christy
	Great day but HORRIFIC night...what to do? ESH please... (Preview) Wow! I have to start with that because I am still reeling from the events of last night. My AH decided that he would kick our 15 year old son out of the house because he wouldn't get in the car if AH was driving because AH was quite intoxicated. Yes, literally he left the kid at the park, with a Park Ranger. Now...	wildthang86	13	1139	Jul 28, 2009 by Christy
	building a scaffolding (Preview) One of Overcome's posts recently really struck me about having problems before I ever met the ex A. I certainly did not have a healthy structure to my life or an idea where I was going or how to get there. I was all too ready to hitch onto the exA's star and then blame him when it became a disaster. These d...	maresie	1	681	Jul 28, 2009 by Jerry F
	Just some thoughts (Preview) I was divorced about 26 yrs ago from my A husband. My 3 sons were 10/11/12. They are now 34/35/36. I am happily married now for 23 yrs. My new husband is very responsible, hard worker, the total opposite from my ex. The question is he helped me raise my 3 boys, and they saw his work ethics etc. My boys are hard...	meagain	3	779	Jul 28, 2009 by maresie
	Want to hear success stories about marriages lasting after A gets out of rehab and sober..... (Preview) Hello- I am new to this forum, but not new to Al Anon. I have been going to Al Anon for over 2 years because of my AH. I am extremely grateful that my husband, on his own volition, put himself in rehab a month ago. He was away for 3 weeks in a detox center then living on the campus of the hospital doing his out...	Maine Girl	14	1330	Jul 28, 2009 by maresie
	Control and Shame (Preview) Well, I hadn't been doing much thinking about the A as you know I had moved on to other obsessions with other people. :) Anyway, the A had been around and supposedly clean for over 30 days. So we had been visiting his mom on Tuesdays like normal- that is my son and I. And he had been there consistently so...	Codependent	6	1221	Jul 28, 2009 by carolinagirl
	AH officially trying to manage without help (Preview) So he IS trying to quit drinking, and happened to mention it to me in passing. Since when? When did he decide this and why was I left in the dark about it for a week? Because I threw out some stuff of his that I thought he'd no longer be needing since I thought he was drinking again. How was I to know, I gue...	Lotus	5	817	Jul 28, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Fiance in rehab, but thinks he won't need AA when he gets out (pink cloud) (Preview) Hello, My fiance is currently in rehab, and it appears he is on his "pink cloud," and is feeling quite invincible. He believes he is strong enought to handle life without having to go to AA meetings when he gets out. He told me that he thinks AA is more of a service to those who had problems wit...	crystalcc	6	736	Jul 28, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Can an Alocoholic ever be forgiven and the marriage repaired? (Preview) Can an Alocoholic ever be forgiven and the marriage repaired? When an alcoholic has all desire to drink removed, works the steps and has a spiritual awakening. Alanon states that the family situation is bound to improve. AA says permanent marriage breakups and seperations, however are unusual in A...	All I can be	11	1083	Jul 28, 2009 by Diva
	A slip or a slump? (Preview) Ever since finding out that EXABF opened a facebook acct using my last name I have been feeling "off" since then. My fault I know-(seems everything he does wrong always is somehow. Yes I know I was the one to seak out information I obviously was not ready to deal with. I even went back last n...	shellyj123	7	951	Jul 28, 2009 by Karilynn
	so what about telling his mother or best friend? (Preview) it's really, really sad that after 5 years, i barely know my AH's "best" friend. mainly because AH compartmentalizes all of his different relationships and doesn't allow people to mingle (he's got his alkie buddies and then real friends and then some who are a mix - those are the worst). ...	xter	7	791	Jul 27, 2009 by maresie
	A standard to live by (Preview) The July 27th reading in ODAAT in Al-Anon got me to thinking about what if alcoholism had not been a part of the four marriages I have been in, would they have succeeded had alcoholism not been a part? What about other relationships that I have had where alcoholism was a part, would the removal of the alco...	Overcome	1	638	Jul 27, 2009 by maresie
	Complicated Grief (Preview) Hello, I am new here...been looking for love in all the wrong places! I have read alot of the message trails here...and immediately found comfort...Thank you! I am going through a relationship breakup right now...one that I Knew in my soul I should not have entered...two years ago! And in the begi...	Risenshine	4	574	Jul 27, 2009 by maresie
	when will enough b enough (Preview) Hi all-I remember a few years ago when I first came to this board, I was asking this question about my AH. I guess I have learned something because now I only ask it about me.Quiz Question:How long will I stay in this stupid 19 year marriage?a- foreverb- just for todayc- any day now I am seeing the lawyer/k...	gknee	5	785	Jul 27, 2009 by maresie
	So Ticked Off -- Again (Preview) I'm so sick and tired of my mother's -- what I FEEL like doing is just ending ALL communication with her. I don't always feel that way and it makes me sad to think of not having a relationship with my mother, but she's really been acting like an lately. She's posted on her Facebook account (which pops up on...	GlitterGirl	6	598	Jul 27, 2009 by maresie
	stuck in the middle of abandonment (Preview) I found myself in a real funk tonight, and it took me a while to figure out why. My kids went on vacation with their very sober dad, something we never did, and are spending the week with relatives at a beautiful cabin on a lake in another state. AH keeps sending photos to "keep my heart close to the...	Loupiness	5	982	Jul 27, 2009 by Karilynn
	A new day... (Preview) I'm feeling so much better today it's like night and day. My boyfriend who I have seen and/or talked to every day for the past six months (today is our anniversary) has decided that he won't talk to me anymore which has driven me completely insane for the past 4 or 5 days and I have acted like a crazy woman c...	carolinagirl	3	1077	Jul 27, 2009 by Karilynn
	43 & hangin' in there! (Preview) YESTERDAY I CELEBRATED MY 43RD B-DAY! IT WAS A VERY NICE DAY & I GOT A LOT OF BIRTHDAY MESSAGES FROM FRIENDS & FAMILY. I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO DOESN'T MIND SHARING MY AGE. EVERYONE IN MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS ALWAYS TELL ME I AM STILL YOUNG BUT SOMETIMES I DON'T FEEL IT! WHEN DO THE PAIN & STR...	Hoot Nanny	11	862	Jul 27, 2009 by Karilynn
	Another one out the door...sober. (Preview) Aloha MIP family Saw the wife, or now I say widow, of an old friend of mine from program. We first met in another program for a problem we shared as a result of our drinking. I was able to give him something about his anger that he was very grateful to have and helped him in his family, program and community r...	Jerry F	16	858	Jul 27, 2009 by Karilynn
	i asked for a separation tonight (Preview) i woke up this morning, secure in my decision to ask for a separation, to ask him to move out. all day long, i was in a good mood, very sure of myself. his shenanigans this week were a huge blow to me and i find that i absolutely cannot live like this anymore. i have been feeling like i cannot live like this f...	xter	10	809	Jul 26, 2009 by xter
	active vs. dry (Preview) I am fed up with my relationship. Everytime I let go and give stuff to my hp things seem to improve for a few days, then everything goes back to the same old way. My bf keeps chosing to hang out and do stuff with everyone but me. He's always coming up with excuses why I can't go somewhere with him. Right now he'...	buick23	2	610	Jul 26, 2009 by Sincerely
	A's everywhere (Preview) I was thinking about something yesterday. My abf drank for years, his dad drank for years, one of his sisters ex is addicted to A and drugs and is abusive, his other sister is with an A, his niece is dating a boy who's stepdad is an A who is abusive. Another friends of mine's bf was addicted to pills, my uncle...	buick23	4	652	Jul 26, 2009 by Sincerely
	Controlling... (and maybe a bit of a vent) (Preview) I just got into a yelling match with my sober AH. He has been sober for 4 months and diligently working his program. He has decided that he is taking time off of work tomorrow to go fishing with a long time alcoholic drinking buddy who is still drinking heavily and calls here drunk regularly (we don't an...	TLM	8	739	Jul 26, 2009 by TLM
	Feeling quilty (Preview) I'm feeling quilty??? Why?? I don't have a clue. It's storming outside and I haven't called my sister....Ya know the one I was talking about last night...that calls me drunk all night long leaving nasty messages because I won't answer the phone after the hour long conversation we had just a couple h...	katiecat	3	659	Jul 26, 2009 by Temple
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.