Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

There must be something about the stars in the summer that makes me want to feel free and alive. Its been nearly a year since I found this forum. Its been months since I've come here for support. My husband moved out on Saturday. I think I feel relieved, I'm not sure yet. I've been staying with him because I...

Overcome · Overcome

In todays C2C reading it talks about Principles above personalities. I think this is a very important part of our program. When I have an issue with someone I can remember "How Important Is It?" and as the Al-Anon's suggested closing states, "though you may not like all of us, you'll l...

Lotus · Lotus

AH is slowly reintroducing alcohol back into his life. I've been stuck at home with no car for a year and a half, with a toddler, and the only place I ever really go is the grocery store once or twice a week, which is not my idea of fun. DS goes for week without leaving the house other than the occasional walk a...

Lotus · Lotus

If so, how's that working or not working? I keep noticing that most of the people here love their alcoholics/addicts and truly seem to want to stay. Has anyone been past the point of no return but stayed anyway?

Mike E · Mike E

Hi I'm new to all this talking about my problems with groups. My wife of 6 years, which I have 2 children, has been sober for almost a year now. Within that year, she has managed to completely shut me out of her life both physically and emotionally. Let me give a brief history of her behavior. I married h...

newbie46 · newbie46

My father was an alcoholic. He passed away last year (not due to alcoholism). He stopped drinking 20 years ago which is good. In some ways, throughout my life, I felt I had a better relationship with my father than my mother which confuses me, considering he was the alcoholic not her. Our relation...

sfriesen · sfriesen

new here. I have lived with my aloholic spouse for 17 years. 3 years ago...the emotional and verbal abuse and black outs were out of control...I started going to alanon and moved 10 minute drive away. We seen each other in everyway, always together except I would remove myself when he drank. He sta...

Loupiness · Loupiness

As I battled with my dog this morning, trying to get her to swallow her treat-covered Prozac (yes, you read that right) that she usually gobbles up, I confirmed in my head how truly, alcoholism/codependency can affect every member of the family. My dog is nuts. In this one situation, I refused to admit...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((All))) Have been going through too much lately and am so depressed. Yesterday I went to the funeral of a good friend. John was only 43, he died because of the disease of alcoholism. John had been through so much in his life, conquered many battles but in the end he couldnt win over alcohol. I'll mis...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Okay I keep trying to figure this out and am coming up no where so any ESH would be greatly appreciated. My mom is an A. Has been for as long as I can remember. I always said especially when I first came here her drinking doesn't and has never affected me. But the more I keep coming back the more I see it really a...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Ok - some of you know that I'm taking those tiny steps toward divorce (and are probably thinking, 'just get on with it, already!' lol). I actually started filling out paperwork yesterday and finished transitioning my online bill pay to my new account today. True to my codependent nature, I'm getti...

Inpain · Inpain

I can say when I came to al-anon, I had no idea what detachment really was. I'm still trying to get a hold on it, but for anyone who is newer than me and "yes" I'm a newbie, it really is the key, I feel, to feeling peace in your life. I have really had to take a hard look at how my reactions, and obsess...

calli0299 · calli0299

My AH has been drinking since I've known him 20 years ago, but never excessively until about 6 months ago. At that time, it became even worse than I knew at the time. Over the course of March, April, May and June he had two hospitalizations and it became clear there was a BIG problem. In June, he agreed t...

Jozie · Jozie

Today for some reason, it hit me that "Yep it really is Working", I mean, when i got here.. and that was 7 short months ago, every time that someone would say words "STRONGLY" or have a view that I never in this world would have thought of, but 1st Took Offence, feeling Pointed at, a...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

I have not posted for a long time but I come here often and I am eternally grateful for this site and the awesome people here. Some of you may remember me from when I started here back in 06.What a mess I was.After 37 years married to an A,17 of them in "sobriety",I discovered my AH had an online gi...

maresie · maresie

2 years plus out from leaving the ex A finances are still a huge issue. I have major major dental work to get done. So I am looking at ways to save money. So far I've been able to find $50.00 a month off the top. I know I can save on my storage but it means doing a lot of work and I need to give myself 2 months minim...

maresie · maresie

People often used to say to me when I was under stress (which was actually bombarded when I was with the ex A) that I needed to increase my self care. This week I've been tested, my schedule was changed inadvertently and I am owed some money I am not going to get now for quite a while. There were other issues...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I been with my AH for 32 years. He used to be abusive I stayed because that is what I grew up with. I know now that is not what I want in my life any more. He is a functioning A he works and works OT makes good money. But he got quiet now Like he is in his own little world. I feel so alone. I have all boys they do not want...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So hears how it goes; my nephew who is 19 years old & not married got his "so-called girlfriend pregnant & thought he was gonna coast through being a father. My opinion which probably doesn't really matter, is that because he has bipolar disorder, he probably shouldn't have any kids! N...

Sincerely · Sincerely

What happened to the days I grew up in? No one in my family got divorced. Everyone had kids. When something broke, you could count on your family to come over and pitch a hand to fix it. On friday nights, you friends were your cousins and your to do for the weekend was with your family. What happened to...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

A decided out of the blue that he is going to marry his childhood girlfriend and move to California so he can find work. Ok whatever kind of weird considering he was asking if we could just sleep together two weeks ago but I'm all for him finding work and supporting kids and maybe he can be good for her long...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Okay this is just something that irritates me and would like to know if anyone else had a similar problem that could share what they did. My sons father constantly says he will come this day, or this time to see our son. Half the time he doesn't show up or even call or he is really late or really early. He come...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Just came home from a week long hospital stay, I has an abcess on my kidney. Still not feeling great but feeling much better I was really sick. Anyway, while in the hospital I really missed having my husband around it seemed so lonely and that I was all alone. My kids are just teens and I fe...

mermaid88 · mermaid88

Hello, Is there anything that can make a person's breath smell like alcohol for hours at a time if the person has not been drinking? Am I being lied to? My fiance is attempting to get sober. He told me he hasn't had any alcohol for weeks. His breath smelled like alcohol all evening. He swore up and down...

xter · xter

1) i have 2 therapy appointments today - while exhausting, they're both v necessary and always do good 2) my boss is great, and my job gives me the means to do other things in my life that i enjoy 3) i have a great woman's soccer team i play with on thursday nights - we're a great team. it feels good to win some...

Loveridden · Loveridden

I desperately need some time to myself - ALONE lol... Completely alone.... My abf went to work today for a day shift.... But it's summer and my son has been with me every moment, since I am not working atm.... I love my son, but I just need some time ALONE sometimes....and I haven't been getting any...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Taking care of me doesn't mean pedicures, hot baths, reading a book, or putting on cute clothes and make up. I do those things because they help me to feel good. I honestly believe in my heart that if I would truely take care of me, that I would divorce my husband. I mean, how can I really be taking care o...

debilyn · debilyn

My emotions are desiring a letter from my AH. I care about him, I know he is in the best place he can be.(in a lockup intake correctional place until they send him to prison) I am glad I still care. I like that about me, the me hp gave to myself. Feels good to be so forgiving. I know my past I have done things I wou...

Tracy · Tracy

Need to communicate with someone healthy! My AB has been in recovery for only 2 and a half months he is attending meeting has a sponsor and really seems to want to stay sober. He has improved so much he is giving me some money towards bills, he is buying his own two children clothes etc. However there is a...

Rora · Rora

Yesterday I was stewing all day....(reacting??) I came to discover through snooping (yes, snooping ) that my sober aH was taking some over the counter medication that I didn't think was a good idea. I have my reasons for why I feel the way I do, and I feel scared about the situation. I mentioned it to my a...

Lotus · Lotus

All week I've expected each night to be the night he brings home a six pack and the whole process starts again. Every night I've been wrong. He's been positive, nice, patient with our son, all of that. Is he waiting for the weekend? Or has he magically recovered completely without any outside help whats...

Overcome · Overcome

My husband, who I am seperated from, called me tonight to say that one of his old drinking buddies had been put on life support and all systems were failing. This is a 58 year old man that was told a year ago that if he didn't quit drinking that he would die. He quit drinking for a little while but didn't go to A...

Searching for Peace · Searching for Peace

I am extremley depressed today............Last night we went as a family up to the Country Club for dinner; the kids left while me and my spouse stayed to enjoy the music of a local musican. I was trying to put up a front that i was having a good time, but it was hard. Of course my AH had started drinking abo...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), Hard to believe that next weeks marks a year since my beloved Tim's passing. In his honor I have posted a dedication. Here is the link. For those of you who would care to sign the global petition to help fight cancer, please feel free to do so. For those of you who would just like to vis...

Jozie · Jozie

Well last night was my Neices birthday party, and yes it was justMe, My Momma, ASister, ABrother, the 4 kids, my AStep Father, my Aunt Who by the Grace of God still puts up with us ;) So I had a very nervous stomach pulling in, luckly the kids were in full swing, so that was a wonderful distraction. And God lo...

chevygirl · chevygirl

For the past 15yrs i have been on a rollercoaster ride with my ex who is a reformed alcoholic . He is the love of my life and my best friend , i just can't to seem to move on . He says he cares for me very much and doesn't want to loose our friendship . He just is unable to commit to just me . He is recently trying to f...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Alright, so he "stopped" drinking last week but has had 2 slips since then. The most recent being last night. With that drink came resentment. I assume toward me, for our separation last year. Our oldest son has not talked to him for over a year. I could explain it to my AH but choose not to. The...

thinkstoomuch · thinkstoomuch

I was at an AA Roundup with Alanon participation this weekend in Maine. One of the Alanon workshops was a panel discussion. Someone talked about being a spouse of an A, someone talked about being the parent of an A, someone talked about being a member of both programs. The woman who talked about being...

superdebby · superdebby

My brother is now in "end stage cirrhosis". The hospital visits for his girlfriend and my mom are exhausting and horrible. I've only visited once since I live out of town. I'm looking for a book/article to help me understand what is next. Any suggestions?

Calling Members · N8SMOM

Does anyone else feel wierd (or have felt wierd) making phone calls to other members in the beginning? Last Monday I had 2 separate members tell me to give them a call and I haven't done it yet. I don't know what the big deal is. My Dad calls it the 1,000-pound phone syndrom - LOL! It's one thing to speak...

newbie46 · newbie46

I have a very busy job and life, so no time for meetings, hence using this site. My father was an alcoholic. He drank for years and then stopped drinking for 20 years. Although he stopped drinking, he was always a dry drunk. He was secretive and gave up on life. He became ill and died last year. He was...

Temple · Temple

I keep thinking about those children, your niece and nephew. Can you help the older one memorize your phone number or write it on the tag of a teddy bear or something and teach him or her how to call you collect? If the number is too hard to memorize, can the child know your last name and town by heart, and b...

linbol · linbol

He did not come home last night. I know he is using again. And of course it is all going to be my fault because get this one I spoke it into existence and had no faith in him. Or maybe this time it will be I am stupid, I don't know why I make these stupid chooses. You are the best thing that has ever been in my life, y...

linbol · linbol

Here is a little history, My husband has been an alcoholic since 14 and started using drugs when he was about 18. I knew he drank when we met but never knew he was addicted. We dated for two years, We separated then got back together ten years later son was born. This is when I realized he had a problem. we sep...

maresie · maresie

As many of you know I've been working really hard to improve my physical health. Today I learned my breathing is much much better. I started out this year at 50^ of normal lung function. Now I'm up to 85%...just 15% more and I'm 'normal". Next step is the dental work. One step at a time. I never got...

lmw · lmw

I think I might be finally getting this detachment thing down... The kids and I were at the beach today, and my ex-AH called... 17 times in 45 minutes, left four messages. He's been doing medical studies to earn money and got $50 in cash yesterday... He actually asked me to meet him at the subway statio...

hanila · hanila

I met a guy that is a military pilot. He says pilots and military men LOVE to drink on the weekends or whenever they are not having to pass physicals. Usually they have to be in perfect physical condition, so when they are not on duty, they drink a lot. Since my ex was an alcoholic, this scares me. I don't...

xter · xter

i feel that being in this program (even for such a short time) has given me the tools i need to start making changes. over the past 5 years, i have never felt the desire to quit, or even set goals for myself. since al anon is helping me focus on me, i am starting to do these things... so yay!

nabbm34 · nabbm34

4 years ago i went and got myself treatment because i felt like i was getting out of control on how much pain medication i was taking. I was going thru a divorce and just kept taking more and more to numb myself. Well i did well for a long time then i injured my back real bad (actually broke it) and my Dr prescri...

newbie46 · newbie46

about 30 years ago when I was a teenager, I lived with my alcoholic father. My parents were divorced and my mother moved away. I still had school so could not move with her, so I went to live with my Dad. To this day I will never understand how my mother can send me to live wth my dad as he was at that time dri...

LoveCC · LoveCC

Hi Everyone. I have not posted in a while. Things have been really crazy both good and bad. My BF has been sober for about 3 months now. But lately he has been really moody. I understand that things are stressful at work for him but for the past 2 weeks he has been yelling at me and getting mad at the smallest...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Our very own TLC is doing well after her surgery. I got an email from her this am-via her phone and she let me know the surgery went well. She was feeling great two hrs post op but had to spend the night. She said the hospital staff was treating her well also. She'll know more in a week and I'm sure she'll...

Stella1 · Stella1

Hello, my name is Stella. I live with an alcoholic man who is sober, but has anger issues and tends to blame me for his problems. I am here because I want to work on self-care and focusing on myself and not on him. I want to explore with othe Alanon's my feelings and my issues surrounding living with an alcoh...

RLC · RLC

To MY MIP Family, I would appreciate very much if you would keep my brother Ray in your prayers. He is a former Marine, and later went Special Forces, a true patroit, He has never been in the hospital in his life, always been in good health. He found out yesterday that he has a rare form of blood cancer. H...

ticklelulu · ticklelulu

So here I am... my AH and I have had many many ups and downs... A few months ago I just got tired of the constant pattern so I cut him off emotionally and physically. He goes through stages of recovery that last about 7-15 days. Then he starts again. I have threatned to leave him more than a few times but, for s...

debilyn · debilyn

I had planned to paste your update after I deleted it off your other share! My keyboard went bonkers...lost it could you please update TLC's condition! I apologise! Was trying to help! oh just throw me in the horses trough! hugs,debilyn

Jozie · Jozie

Well this morning I woke up with heavy thoughts about my ABrother, for today is his 30th birthday, sometimes it is hard to except that how he views life and how I veiw it, are on two very differant tracks, tho when we were growing up you couldn't seperate us from ourselves... Since I started my trip down Re...

Becky1 · Becky1

As a background to this post, I wrote "Vacation from ". Now let me tell you about the good things that were involved! As soon as I realized my son in law had taken my rented vehicle and left the state with it, (actually drove it almost 900 miles away!) I called the police and told them where to fi...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

For those of you know TLC and those of you who haven't been that lucky to meet her yet......... TLC was scheduled to have surgery today for cancer.........Let's all please take a minute today to keep her in our thoughts and prayers.........All of us here know the power of HP and prayer......And a...

heatherranki · heatherranki

my h is in acoa-and it is good. I'm attending al anon. I'm very tired. For so many years, I have taken care of the house, the kids, the parents, the h, his moods, etc. I have been everything everyone has asked of me. I have put up with, I have soothed, I have "sacrificed" I have put others firs...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Separation (Preview) There must be something about the stars in the summer that makes me want to feel free and alive. Its been nearly a year since I found this forum. Its been months since I've come here for support. My husband moved out on Saturday. I think I feel relieved, I'm not sure yet. I've been staying with him because I...	StargazerLily	4	755	Jul 23, 2009 by Overcome
	Principles above personalities (Preview) In todays C2C reading it talks about Principles above personalities. I think this is a very important part of our program. When I have an issue with someone I can remember "How Important Is It?" and as the Al-Anon's suggested closing states, "though you may not like all of us, you'll l...	Overcome	3	5227	Jul 23, 2009 by Jean4444
	Is this a bad idea or am I being narrow minded? (Preview) AH is slowly reintroducing alcohol back into his life. I've been stuck at home with no car for a year and a half, with a toddler, and the only place I ever really go is the grocery store once or twice a week, which is not my idea of fun. DS goes for week without leaving the house other than the occasional walk a...	Lotus	7	856	Jul 22, 2009 by buick23
	Anyone staying in it for the kids? (Preview) If so, how's that working or not working? I keep noticing that most of the people here love their alcoholics/addicts and truly seem to want to stay. Has anyone been past the point of no return but stayed anyway?	Lotus	13	922	Jul 22, 2009 by Maria123
	Should I beg for her love? (Preview) Hi I'm new to all this talking about my problems with groups. My wife of 6 years, which I have 2 children, has been sober for almost a year now. Within that year, she has managed to completely shut me out of her life both physically and emotionally. Let me give a brief history of her behavior. I married h...	Mike E	6	800	Jul 22, 2009 by Maria123
	confused - part 2 (Preview) My father was an alcoholic. He passed away last year (not due to alcoholism). He stopped drinking 20 years ago which is good. In some ways, throughout my life, I felt I had a better relationship with my father than my mother which confuses me, considering he was the alcoholic not her. Our relation...	newbie46	8	823	Jul 22, 2009 by Dave Harm
	Recovering alcoholic seems like he is in the dry drunk syndrome (Preview) new here. I have lived with my aloholic spouse for 17 years. 3 years ago...the emotional and verbal abuse and black outs were out of control...I started going to alanon and moved 10 minute drive away. We seen each other in everyway, always together except I would remove myself when he drank. He sta...	sfriesen	6	2622	Jul 22, 2009 by sfriesen
	male vs female vs dog (Preview) As I battled with my dog this morning, trying to get her to swallow her treat-covered Prozac (yes, you read that right) that she usually gobbles up, I confirmed in my head how truly, alcoholism/codependency can affect every member of the family. My dog is nuts. In this one situation, I refused to admit...	Loupiness	2	820	Jul 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	So tired (Preview) Hi (((All))) Have been going through too much lately and am so depressed. Yesterday I went to the funeral of a good friend. John was only 43, he died because of the disease of alcoholism. John had been through so much in his life, conquered many battles but in the end he couldnt win over alcohol. I'll mis...	Mariner	2	529	Jul 22, 2009 by Rita G
	Why is it like this? (Preview) Okay I keep trying to figure this out and am coming up no where so any ESH would be greatly appreciated. My mom is an A. Has been for as long as I can remember. I always said especially when I first came here her drinking doesn't and has never affected me. But the more I keep coming back the more I see it really a...	Melissa21	7	773	Jul 22, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Must. Stop. Obsessing... And Accept Reality (Preview) Ok - some of you know that I'm taking those tiny steps toward divorce (and are probably thinking, 'just get on with it, already!' lol). I actually started filling out paperwork yesterday and finished transitioning my online bill pay to my new account today. True to my codependent nature, I'm getti...	blender_girl	6	1212	Jul 21, 2009 by xter
	The shift (Preview) I can say when I came to al-anon, I had no idea what detachment really was. I'm still trying to get a hold on it, but for anyone who is newer than me and "yes" I'm a newbie, it really is the key, I feel, to feeling peace in your life. I have really had to take a hard look at how my reactions, and obsess...	Inpain	6	759	Jul 21, 2009 by katiecat
	New Here - need advice, guidance. I'm in tears and torn up over AH. (Preview) My AH has been drinking since I've known him 20 years ago, but never excessively until about 6 months ago. At that time, it became even worse than I knew at the time. Over the course of March, April, May and June he had two hospitalizations and it became clear there was a BIG problem. In June, he agreed t...	calli0299	9	746	Jul 21, 2009 by N8SMOM
	Take what You like & LEAVE the Rest (Preview) Today for some reason, it hit me that "Yep it really is Working", I mean, when i got here.. and that was 7 short months ago, every time that someone would say words "STRONGLY" or have a view that I never in this world would have thought of, but 1st Took Offence, feeling Pointed at, a...	Jozie	3	1414	Jul 21, 2009 by maresie
	am I missing something? (Preview) I have not posted for a long time but I come here often and I am eternally grateful for this site and the awesome people here. Some of you may remember me from when I started here back in 06.What a mess I was.After 37 years married to an A,17 of them in "sobriety",I discovered my AH had an online gi...	drucilla06	5	844	Jul 21, 2009 by Tracy
	Making the best of it rather than seething in resentment. (Preview) 2 years plus out from leaving the ex A finances are still a huge issue. I have major major dental work to get done. So I am looking at ways to save money. So far I've been able to find $50.00 a month off the top. I know I can save on my storage but it means doing a lot of work and I need to give myself 2 months minim...	maresie	3	549	Jul 21, 2009 by maresie
	Increasing self care in times of stress. (Preview) People often used to say to me when I was under stress (which was actually bombarded when I was with the ex A) that I needed to increase my self care. This week I've been tested, my schedule was changed inadvertently and I am owed some money I am not going to get now for quite a while. There were other issues...	maresie	3	699	Jul 21, 2009 by kitty
	Been So Long And Confused Again (Preview) I been with my AH for 32 years. He used to be abusive I stayed because that is what I grew up with. I know now that is not what I want in my life any more. He is a functioning A he works and works OT makes good money. But he got quiet now Like he is in his own little world. I feel so alone. I have all boys they do not want...	peacewithin	4	770	Jul 21, 2009 by Searching for Peace
	Feelin' a little guilty (Preview) So hears how it goes; my nephew who is 19 years old & not married got his "so-called girlfriend pregnant & thought he was gonna coast through being a father. My opinion which probably doesn't really matter, is that because he has bipolar disorder, he probably shouldn't have any kids! N...	Hoot Nanny	4	693	Jul 21, 2009 by Jozie
	What happened to the good ole days? (Preview) What happened to the days I grew up in? No one in my family got divorced. Everyone had kids. When something broke, you could count on your family to come over and pitch a hand to fix it. On friday nights, you friends were your cousins and your to do for the weekend was with your family. What happened to...	Sincerely	6	944	Jul 21, 2009 by Jozie
	Update and weird stuff (Preview) A decided out of the blue that he is going to marry his childhood girlfriend and move to California so he can find work. Ok whatever kind of weird considering he was asking if we could just sleep together two weeks ago but I'm all for him finding work and supporting kids and maybe he can be good for her long...	carolinagirl	10	557	Jul 21, 2009 by jama
	Any ESH? (Preview) Okay this is just something that irritates me and would like to know if anyone else had a similar problem that could share what they did. My sons father constantly says he will come this day, or this time to see our son. Half the time he doesn't show up or even call or he is really late or really early. He come...	Melissa21	5	788	Jul 21, 2009 by Jerry F
	Parenting alone (Preview) Hello Friends, Just came home from a week long hospital stay, I has an abcess on my kidney. Still not feeling great but feeling much better I was really sick. Anyway, while in the hospital I really missed having my husband around it seemed so lonely and that I was all alone. My kids are just teens and I fe...	Andrea12	9	919	Jul 20, 2009 by nmike
	Alcohol on Breath? (Preview) Hello, Is there anything that can make a person's breath smell like alcohol for hours at a time if the person has not been drinking? Am I being lied to? My fiance is attempting to get sober. He told me he hasn't had any alcohol for weeks. His breath smelled like alcohol all evening. He swore up and down...	mermaid88	8	3734	Jul 20, 2009 by maresie
	gratitude for today - what's yours? (Preview) 1) i have 2 therapy appointments today - while exhausting, they're both v necessary and always do good 2) my boss is great, and my job gives me the means to do other things in my life that i enjoy 3) i have a great woman's soccer team i play with on thursday nights - we're a great team. it feels good to win some...	xter	3	678	Jul 20, 2009 by maresie
	Arrrrgggghhhhhhh (Preview) I desperately need some time to myself - ALONE lol... Completely alone.... My abf went to work today for a day shift.... But it's summer and my son has been with me every moment, since I am not working atm.... I love my son, but I just need some time ALONE sometimes....and I haven't been getting any...	Loveridden	4	694	Jul 20, 2009 by maresie
	Know what taking care of me "really" means to me??? (Preview) Taking care of me doesn't mean pedicures, hot baths, reading a book, or putting on cute clothes and make up. I do those things because they help me to feel good. I honestly believe in my heart that if I would truely take care of me, that I would divorce my husband. I mean, how can I really be taking care o...	Sincerely	6	1776	Jul 20, 2009 by maresie
	Is what it is (Preview) My emotions are desiring a letter from my AH. I care about him, I know he is in the best place he can be.(in a lockup intake correctional place until they send him to prison) I am glad I still care. I like that about me, the me hp gave to myself. Feels good to be so forgiving. I know my past I have done things I wou...	debilyn	5	810	Jul 20, 2009 by maresie
	Sober but ill (Preview) Need to communicate with someone healthy! My AB has been in recovery for only 2 and a half months he is attending meeting has a sponsor and really seems to want to stay sober. He has improved so much he is giving me some money towards bills, he is buying his own two children clothes etc. However there is a...	Tracy	6	859	Jul 20, 2009 by maresie
	Is it really any of my business..? (Preview) Yesterday I was stewing all day....(reacting??) I came to discover through snooping (yes, snooping ) that my sober aH was taking some over the counter medication that I didn't think was a good idea. I have my reasons for why I feel the way I do, and I feel scared about the situation. I mentioned it to my a...	Rora	3	769	Jul 20, 2009 by Jerry F
	ok now I feel terrible (Preview) All week I've expected each night to be the night he brings home a six pack and the whole process starts again. Every night I've been wrong. He's been positive, nice, patient with our son, all of that. Is he waiting for the weekend? Or has he magically recovered completely without any outside help whats...	Lotus	8	866	Jul 20, 2009 by maresie
	Another death from alcoholism (Preview) My husband, who I am seperated from, called me tonight to say that one of his old drinking buddies had been put on life support and all systems were failing. This is a 58 year old man that was told a year ago that if he didn't quit drinking that he would die. He quit drinking for a little while but didn't go to A...	Overcome	7	824	Jul 20, 2009 by maresie
	confused & depressed............... (Preview) I am extremley depressed today............Last night we went as a family up to the Country Club for dinner; the kids left while me and my spouse stayed to enjoy the music of a local musican. I was trying to put up a front that i was having a good time, but it was hard. Of course my AH had started drinking abo...	Searching for Peace	8	576	Jul 20, 2009 by maresie
	For my Tim (Preview) ((((Family))), Hard to believe that next weeks marks a year since my beloved Tim's passing. In his honor I have posted a dedication. Here is the link. For those of you who would care to sign the global petition to help fight cancer, please feel free to do so. For those of you who would just like to vis...	Karilynn	12	727	Jul 20, 2009 by Rita G
	My Program is working... SLOWLY (Preview) Well last night was my Neices birthday party, and yes it was justMe, My Momma, ASister, ABrother, the 4 kids, my AStep Father, my Aunt Who by the Grace of God still puts up with us ;) So I had a very nervous stomach pulling in, luckly the kids were in full swing, so that was a wonderful distraction. And God lo...	Jozie	1	704	Jul 20, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Need help moving on ...... (Preview) For the past 15yrs i have been on a rollercoaster ride with my ex who is a reformed alcoholic . He is the love of my life and my best friend , i just can't to seem to move on . He says he cares for me very much and doesn't want to loose our friendship . He just is unable to commit to just me . He is recently trying to f...	chevygirl	6	881	Jul 20, 2009 by maresie
	A slip and lots of resentment from the AH, ESH please!!! (Preview) Alright, so he "stopped" drinking last week but has had 2 slips since then. The most recent being last night. With that drink came resentment. I assume toward me, for our separation last year. Our oldest son has not talked to him for over a year. I could explain it to my AH but choose not to. The...	wildthang86	8	900	Jul 20, 2009 by RLC
	Mobirdie - thanks for passing it on (Preview) I was at an AA Roundup with Alanon participation this weekend in Maine. One of the Alanon workshops was a panel discussion. Someone talked about being a spouse of an A, someone talked about being the parent of an A, someone talked about being a member of both programs. The woman who talked about being...	thinkstoomuch	2	364	Jul 20, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Reference material/links on what happens next (Preview) My brother is now in "end stage cirrhosis". The hospital visits for his girlfriend and my mom are exhausting and horrible. I've only visited once since I live out of town. I'm looking for a book/article to help me understand what is next. Any suggestions?	superdebby	5	1330	Jul 20, 2009 by superdebby
	Calling Members (Preview) Does anyone else feel wierd (or have felt wierd) making phone calls to other members in the beginning? Last Monday I had 2 separate members tell me to give them a call and I haven't done it yet. I don't know what the big deal is. My Dad calls it the 1,000-pound phone syndrom - LOL! It's one thing to speak...	N8SMOM	7	700	Jul 20, 2009 by Mobirdie
	confused (Preview) I have a very busy job and life, so no time for meetings, hence using this site. My father was an alcoholic. He drank for years and then stopped drinking for 20 years. Although he stopped drinking, he was always a dry drunk. He was secretive and gave up on life. He became ill and died last year. He was...	newbie46	15	900	Jul 19, 2009 by glad lee
	Question for Josie (Preview) I keep thinking about those children, your niece and nephew. Can you help the older one memorize your phone number or write it on the tag of a teddy bear or something and teach him or her how to call you collect? If the number is too hard to memorize, can the child know your last name and town by heart, and b...	Temple	1	417	Jul 19, 2009 by debilyn
	Please help me get through this. (Preview) He did not come home last night. I know he is using again. And of course it is all going to be my fault because get this one I spoke it into existence and had no faith in him. Or maybe this time it will be I am stupid, I don't know why I make these stupid chooses. You are the best thing that has ever been in my life, y...	linbol	8	815	Jul 19, 2009 by Christy
	don't know what i am dealing with (Preview) Here is a little history, My husband has been an alcoholic since 14 and started using drugs when he was about 18. I knew he drank when we met but never knew he was addicted. We dated for two years, We separated then got back together ten years later son was born. This is when I realized he had a problem. we sep...	linbol	4	731	Jul 19, 2009 by Andrea12
	More good news (Preview) As many of you know I've been working really hard to improve my physical health. Today I learned my breathing is much much better. I started out this year at 50^ of normal lung function. Now I'm up to 85%...just 15% more and I'm 'normal". Next step is the dental work. One step at a time. I never got...	maresie	6	598	Jul 19, 2009 by Maria123
	Detaching and letting him do his thing.... (Preview) I think I might be finally getting this detachment thing down... The kids and I were at the beach today, and my ex-AH called... 17 times in 45 minutes, left four messages. He's been doing medical studies to earn money and got $50 in cash yesterday... He actually asked me to meet him at the subway statio...	lmw	4	1312	Jul 19, 2009 by Maria123
	I have questions about recognizing an alcoholic from social drinker (Preview) I met a guy that is a military pilot. He says pilots and military men LOVE to drink on the weekends or whenever they are not having to pass physicals. Usually they have to be in perfect physical condition, so when they are not on duty, they drink a lot. Since my ex was an alcoholic, this scares me. I don't...	hanila	5	1245	Jul 18, 2009 by Inpain
	9 days no cigarettes - yay! (Preview) i feel that being in this program (even for such a short time) has given me the tools i need to start making changes. over the past 5 years, i have never felt the desire to quit, or even set goals for myself. since al anon is helping me focus on me, i am starting to do these things... so yay!	xter	5	1091	Jul 18, 2009 by Sincerely
	question please help (Preview) 4 years ago i went and got myself treatment because i felt like i was getting out of control on how much pain medication i was taking. I was going thru a divorce and just kept taking more and more to numb myself. Well i did well for a long time then i injured my back real bad (actually broke it) and my Dr prescri...	nabbm34	5	567	Jul 18, 2009 by maresie
	will I get over it (Preview) about 30 years ago when I was a teenager, I lived with my alcoholic father. My parents were divorced and my mother moved away. I still had school so could not move with her, so I went to live with my Dad. To this day I will never understand how my mother can send me to live wth my dad as he was at that time dri...	newbie46	5	811	Jul 18, 2009 by maresie
	I think I am dealing with a 'Dry Drunk' now. (Preview) Hi Everyone. I have not posted in a while. Things have been really crazy both good and bad. My BF has been sober for about 3 months now. But lately he has been really moody. I understand that things are stressful at work for him but for the past 2 weeks he has been yelling at me and getting mad at the smallest...	LoveCC	5	1453	Jul 18, 2009 by everydayjane
	Update on TLC:) (Preview) Our very own TLC is doing well after her surgery. I got an email from her this am-via her phone and she let me know the surgery went well. She was feeling great two hrs post op but had to spend the night. She said the hospital staff was treating her well also. She'll know more in a week and I'm sure she'll...	shellyj123	1	546	Jul 18, 2009 by Karilynn
	hello, newbie here, grateful alanon (Preview) Hello, my name is Stella. I live with an alcoholic man who is sober, but has anger issues and tends to blame me for his problems. I am here because I want to work on self-care and focusing on myself and not on him. I want to explore with othe Alanon's my feelings and my issues surrounding living with an alcoh...	Stella1	6	441	Jul 18, 2009 by Stella1
	Prayer Request For My Brother (Preview) To MY MIP Family, I would appreciate very much if you would keep my brother Ray in your prayers. He is a former Marine, and later went Special Forces, a true patroit, He has never been in the hospital in his life, always been in good health. He found out yesterday that he has a rare form of blood cancer. H...	RLC	8	627	Jul 17, 2009 by wp
	I threatned to leave him and he sobered up... what now? (Preview) So here I am... my AH and I have had many many ups and downs... A few months ago I just got tired of the constant pattern so I cut him off emotionally and physically. He goes through stages of recovery that last about 7-15 days. Then he starts again. I have threatned to leave him more than a few times but, for s...	ticklelulu	8	891	Jul 17, 2009 by Shaina
	OH shelly!!! (Preview) I had planned to paste your update after I deleted it off your other share! My keyboard went bonkers...lost it could you please update TLC's condition! I apologise! Was trying to help! oh just throw me in the horses trough! hugs,debilyn	debilyn	1	552	Jul 17, 2009 by shellyj123
	Thoughts of Abrother on his 30th (Preview) Well this morning I woke up with heavy thoughts about my ABrother, for today is his 30th birthday, sometimes it is hard to except that how he views life and how I veiw it, are on two very differant tracks, tho when we were growing up you couldn't seperate us from ourselves... Since I started my trip down Re...	Jozie	1	1267	Jul 17, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Angels Come in Many Disguises (Preview) As a background to this post, I wrote "Vacation from ". Now let me tell you about the good things that were involved! As soon as I realized my son in law had taken my rented vehicle and left the state with it, (actually drove it almost 900 miles away!) I called the police and told them where to fi...	Becky1	3	627	Jul 17, 2009 by debilyn
	Prayers for TLC today please (Preview) For those of you know TLC and those of you who haven't been that lucky to meet her yet......... TLC was scheduled to have surgery today for cancer.........Let's all please take a minute today to keep her in our thoughts and prayers.........All of us here know the power of HP and prayer......And a...	shellyj123	10	944	Jul 17, 2009 by tea2
	where have I gone.... (Preview) my h is in acoa-and it is good. I'm attending al anon. I'm very tired. For so many years, I have taken care of the house, the kids, the parents, the h, his moods, etc. I have been everything everyone has asked of me. I have put up with, I have soothed, I have "sacrificed" I have put others firs...	heatherranki	4	735	Jul 17, 2009 by heatherranki
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.