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New
(Preview)
I received guidance from another web forum to visit Al-Anon. I am afraid to go to an actual face-to-face meeting for fear that it will enrage my husband. I have been married to him for 17 years. He has been a heavy drinker the whole time. I have screamed, cried, threatened, and just about everything...
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mo5495
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4
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571
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Really trying to remember to "Let Go and let God"...
(Preview)
This is only my second post, but I have been reading the forum for about 3 weeks now since my AH entered rehab. I have been reading the Al-Anon literature as well and really trying to begin working the steps. My AH is currently on day 19 of a 28-day rehab program in another state. The last few days when I spok...
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journeygirl
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4
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644
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Time for Change...
(Preview)
Hey all... Sorry I have not been much of a help or support here of late, the excuses really don't matter, so I wouldn't waist your time... I have been doin some "inner Demon" searches here of late, tryin to figure out what makes me tick, and frankly what Ticks me Off... And well, the numbers are...
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Jozie
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4
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519
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Most times
(Preview)
I don't have to do anything at all to be blessed. Aloha Family...almost a couple of years ago now I introduced you all to one of the miracles in our life which was given to us just because. My HP loves to see me smile and likes the way I sing I guess cause this little gem causes me to do both instantaneously....
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Jerry F
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16
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581
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Sad but not surprised
(Preview)
AH went for about a month without drinking (that I know of). Our agreement was that he would see recovery and I would hold off on filing for divorce for 90 days, then we'd see where we were at that time. To the best of my knowledge, he never contacted anyone from AA and went to maybe one or two counselin...
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blender_girl
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7
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642
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Please, Teach me how to detach for my sanity
(Preview)
My husband has not had a drink in a few months. He went away on a 1 day business trip. He said he would call that night. There was no call and when I called him, there was no answer. I went to bed so nervous, I could not sleep. I called in the morning, he did not pick up. I texted him. By this time I was shaki...
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wifeofalcoholic
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5
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1587
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$$$ is stressing me
(Preview)
Hello and Hugs Everyone! I'm a lil stressing. This friday will be 3 weeks since my husband moved out. I am blessed to have a great job and make good money. I even got a $1 an hour raise about a month ago. I'm a lil stressed. For the first time in YEARS, i'm having to streeeeeeeeeetch my money. Financi...
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Sincerely
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6
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580
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Could that be me in the mirror????????
(Preview)
After this past weekend and break up with bf, and at the advice of a very wise lady (thanks TLC) I decided to give some thought to my part in this relationship. It was quite easy to point out all the character faults that the exbf had, even easier when we are hurt and angry, but I needed to look at MY part in th...
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shellyj123
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5
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821
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Hello and doing well...
(Preview)
I have not posted here in a very long time. I am doing pretty well these days, one day at a time. I am in a good relationship with a good man. We really enjoy each other's company and its very simple and nice. We are both al-anoners but we have separate programs. Its working out really well- we understa...
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Jean4444
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4
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416
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When it rains it pours
(Preview)
My story, like everyone elses, is a long story. So I will try to condence it as much as I can.(here is a bit of history and patterning that has once again come into my life and quite frankly I am sick of it. Thats why I am here. (This is just the bad stuff, but there was some good stuff too. Sometimes the bad c...
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juniper
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2
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333
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Over responsibility and under responsibility.
(Preview)
At the end of my relationship with the ex A I was absolutely over responsible for him and totally under responsible for myself. My desire to connect with others often means I blur the line with what I need to do to take care of myself. As I've said a number of times taking care of me is really foreign to me....
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maresie
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3
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436
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Tissue Issues.......aches and pains....OUCH
(Preview)
I have a burning shoulder pain, almost constant, and it varies in severity ...good day, slow burn...bad day, cattle prod territoryMy daughter is currently undergoing training as a volunteer in addiction recovery support and tissue issues was the topic today....my shoulder is a known 'living wit...
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Ness
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3
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499
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A new day~~~~update from yesterday's mess
(Preview)
Well I made it through a sleepless, sick night (think I am getting a bug again) and woke up with about 2-3hrs pf total sleep. I called EXBF last night and told him if we were done that he was going to be man enough and tell me from his lips to my ear-via the WWW was unacceptable to me. So he called and left me a vo...
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shellyj123
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7
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477
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brutal- honesty and feelings
(Preview)
This is the start of step 4. I wrote this in my step 3 post reposonse. Since writing it, I see more and more *S* I have done. Feeling kinda crappy at the moment. But I also know I need to do this. there is no other way, unless someone forced me, which no one will. So... I am forcing myself. I don't want to beat mys...
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woopsadaisy
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6
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712
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Sponsorship
(Preview)
How does sponsorship work in this group?
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MyThoughts2U2
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1
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310
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Feeling really down and hurt right now.....in need of some ESH
(Preview)
The weekend started out well, but ended with a BANG! The new man I had been seeing for the past two months and I went to my son's game Sat morning, his daughter's game Sat afternoon, then to DQ. We met later that night at his house and left for a movie-our first "real" date without kids. Movie...
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shellyj123
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10
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833
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Thoughts on being alone,past/present, fears
(Preview)
I've been thinking today about being alone. Lots of people are really scared of being alone. I'm not, don't get me wrong I would love to have people or in particular a special person in my life but it seems like every time I find someone I want to have emotional intimacy with besides my family I change into...
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Jennifer
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5
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528
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How do you know HP's will for you?
(Preview)
How do you know what is your HP's plan and will for you when prayer and meditation does not provide answers?
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MyThoughts2U2
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8
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531
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hi, I am a first time poster, hope I am doing this right.
(Preview)
hi, I am a first time poster, hope I am doing this right. From the age of 16, until I was 40 years old I lived with my husband who is an alcoholic. We married when I was 20, had 3 children in 5 years. He was a hard worker, a good provider, and everyone,s friend. If you met him you would like him, he was fun and charm...
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kat777
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8
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610
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Saying no to Mom!
(Preview)
FRUSTRATION, GUILT BUT TAKING CARE OF ME WHEN IT COMES TO MY MOTHER. SHE GOT TO ME YESTERDAY & I LET HER! LAST SATURDAY I MENTIONED THAT SHE WANTED ME TO GO WITH HER SOMEWHERE & I SAID NO. SUNDAY I WAS ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE WHILE WE ATTENDED A MEETING BEFORE & AFTERWARDS. YESTERDAY I TOLD HER...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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541
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I think I'm better
(Preview)
So last night I get home and my best friend texts me... Says the ex bf came thru her line at walmart just now and told her to tell me hi and to come by tomorrow for a donut (he works at krispy kreme). So I go to my pta meeting... good place to meet normal people :D and then call her and talk during a long walk. I g...
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carolinagirl
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8
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536
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Update...
(Preview)
I am on day 8 of the journey of self improvement, finished the first book and going to re-read the highlights and do some of the exercises in there. I have been doing the diet like a diet nazi and exercising in some form every day (this weekend was walking on the beach and boogie boarding). I have lost 6 po...
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carolinagirl
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11
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489
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...this feeling is incredible......
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, Its a lil over 2 weeks since my husband moved out. I feel so much peace inside my heart. I get lonely, but i was lonely when he was here. I get sad because it didn't work out between us, but i got sad when he was here and was drunk. I get nervous about my future and what it may hold for me, but i...
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Sincerely
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6
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514
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Not ready to let her go
(Preview)
Hello Friends, Well the shat hit the fan as some of you know was having some problems with daughters boyfriend...well the other day he was drunk...yuk....was going to drive....him and my son got into a fist fight because son was not going to let him drive drunk it was awful....his friend finally came a...
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Andrea12
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9
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508
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Step 3
(Preview)
Can I get some feedback on Step 3 and how to work it? What did you do for this step? I feel like I want to be able to write something down about it (was in school too long, probably feel like I need to hand in my homework now). And step 4 too. I can read the book, and understand the concepts-- but what do they LOOK l...
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woopsadaisy
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4
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1397
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prayers please
(Preview)
A month ago I had a check stolen. I am going through absolute hell to get it replaced. Please send your prayers that I will make it through this incredibly difficult process. I need patience, faith and endurance to keep on with so many obstacles in my way. Maresie.
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maresie
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12
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617
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take away from first f2f meeting.
(Preview)
I went to my first F2F meeting tonight, and I have to say that it was awesome. Such nice people there. I am encouraged by the women there who are still married to their husbands and seem to be happy. O, serenity! What a seredipity that I found it! I'm not worried about my STBAH. He's going to be just fine, or h...
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woopsadaisy
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3
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553
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What now?
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new. I've known my husband 16 years, married for 11 years, we have four children 10yo and younger. He's been an alcoholic for many (probably all) of those years. I asked him to move out in August. He refused. I started the process of divorce to force him to leave. He up and checks into detox an...
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Bounce
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6
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524
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any advice
(Preview)
My son is a drug user 23 yearsold and home,not alcohol...wondering if this site will be helpful....should I try something else, very painful...right now Iam unable to get to meetings,recent sugery.My most difficult thing right now...trying to let go, cant control it but its breaking my heart!! H...
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leerose52
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2
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449
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Hi everyone... it's been awhile
(Preview)
Happy Labor Day I am sitting here at my husbands desk on his computer, thinking back over the last several months. Its quiet in the house, just me and the baby (he's 2) are up right now. For those who don't remember me, my AH passed away from liver and kidney failure at age 36, on May 20 of this year. I haven't...
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andica
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8
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545
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Detaching
(Preview)
((((Family)))), As many of you know my brother in law was arressted for making meth this week. As he sits in jail w/o bail, my sister is hysterical. I have tried for many years to get her into Alanon, but to no avail. This week has drained me. I'm am going back to Step 1 with a few changes. I am powerless...
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Karilynn
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7
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1492
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Dating a Recovering A
(Preview)
Hi all, new here. Just looking for some support and advice. Some history... I have been divorced almost 2 years now and my short marriage was hell. My XAH was verbally abusive to both myself and my son who was very young at the time. My XAH was not serious about getting help at all and even slept with so...
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Wanton
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6
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521
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Please Help keep The Forum helping people
(Preview)
Hello ((((Family))))) I was at the East Texas Area AWSC meeting yesterday representing my home district. Our Area Delegate passed on some information to me which I did not know about that I would like to share with you all. She told us that our Al-Anon monthly magazing "The Forum" is in ver...
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david62
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3
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573
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My step journey so far
(Preview)
well it has been a very hard few weeks for me from meeting my sponsor for the first time to chat and now made a complete connection by braving my first phone call to her. I have always found it hard to trust anyone to open up and this now feels so natural. I feel so lucky to have this program and the magnifican...
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chezza
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1
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388
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Slight Shift in Perspective
(Preview)
I shared on this the other day during a meeting and wanted to post my thoughts on it here as well. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately along the lines of examining what drives me crazy about other people in my life and the notion that this may be because it's something I don't like about myself. And in...
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blender_girl
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4
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500
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REMEMBERING TO KEEP IN TOUCH!
(Preview)
I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY LATELY THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO CATCH UP ON THIS SITE! I HAVE BEEN DOING PRETTY WELL. HAD A COUPLE ROUGH NITES A FEW DAYS AGO BUT I AM A SURVIVOR & I AM BACK ON TRACK. TODAY IS A GOOD DAY--I AM NOT GOING TO LET MY MOTHER CONTROL ME TODAY. I PURPOSELY WAITED TO COME DOWN HERE TO GET ON THI...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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565
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It works if you work it.
(Preview)
Hi family, I am ready to share what has been happening in my life. My husbands disease has taken full control over him and he has been going further and further into his disease for a while now. I have been struggling with asking him to leave or not. What is best for the kids and I was a fight in my head and hear...
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Mandy123
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6
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559
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What are your favorite personal slogans?
(Preview)
I don't mean the ones we all know from AlAnon. I mean like "Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror." That one struck me because I have a real tendency to read the ODAAT with a mindset of what my brother could learn from a reading in dealing with his wife and kids. It takes a bit for m...
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smartkat
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17
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2206
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Where's the miracle here?
(Preview)
He is drunk. 6 day binge and not showing any signs of coming off it. He is determined to die, and he is doing a great job of seeing that come about. He cannot eat without throwing up, is losing weight, and just keeps drinking...not fussy about his liquor. Gin, vodka, beer, wine; anything will do. Al...
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Diva
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20
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927
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My A's are acting up
(Preview)
My mom and dad took in roommates earlier this year. They needed extra money. Of course giving up the Captain Morgans was not an option. They took in a homeless couple they knew nothing about. Fast forward to now. The roommates are crazy and made up a story about my parents to have them arrested. My mom cal...
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StargazerLily
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2
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503
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Questioning my decision.....send in the reinforcements....
(Preview)
Today has been a tough day. It's been 6 weeks since breaking up with my abf. I've learned alot and progressed in my recovery, but today has been difficult. Today, in fact, I've been questioning my decision to break up with him. I did so because I did not want to be on the receiving end of his alcoholi...
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Hawk120025
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9
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597
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Little update
(Preview)
The first night no sugar was hard. I cannot even imagine someone quitting smoking and or using. My mood has been great though. Today was not hard at all. Had a feeling and drove up and saw my AH. He told me he had been so depressed for a few days. So that is what I felt. I feel him when he is not using. When he uses...
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debilyn
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5
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534
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very exciting news
(Preview)
I don't think I posted this....my dil is pregnant. She and my son have been trying for 7 years. She had IVF 2 times and was planning on having it again this month. While my son was deployed and was in Perth, Austrailia she flew there from Japan and spent a week with him. Low and behold....she got pregnant. W...
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Gailey
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10
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485
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New here - my story
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I came to these boards because I don't know where else to start. I'll try to give a concise background. It may be biased as this is how I perceived everything. My boyfriend and I worked for the same company. I am 30, and he is 36. We became friendly in April 2008 and started dating in August...
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artsyinnj
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9
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611
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I LOVE the shopping!
(Preview)
A has been drunk, and most of the time passed out, for the past four days. And what about me? I've been SHOPPING! Clothes, shoes, purses, scarfs, coats. I am going for the complete new wardrobe. WOW! What fun. No need for me to whine and cry over his situation. Actually, peeps, I am really enjoy...
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Diva
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7
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492
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Can I ever have a "normal" relationship w/someone who drinks "normally" ESH needed
(Preview)
For those of you who have followed my story from last August on....here is where I find myself today.... I'm still working the program and am in the process of beginning my second round through the steps (not sure if this will be with or without a sponsor but I am determined it needs to and will be done agai...
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shellyj123
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5
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730
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We remember& honor
(Preview)
(((((Family)))), On this day September 11 may we remember those lives lost. May we remember the many Alanon family members who are grieving for their family & friends. May we honor their memories with a simple act of kindness. May we offer prayers for all on this day. Much love and blessings...
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Karilynn
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6
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578
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A grandmother's specific problem with special needs child and an alcoholic 'mother.'
(Preview)
(Asking questions on behalf of my mother because she doesnt have the internet) My mom watches the kids when my brother is at work and my sister-in-law needs to go to a meeting. When my mom goes over there in time for my SIL to make a meeting, Mom often finds the special needs child in her bedroom covered in...
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smartkat
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5
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561
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Arrested.
(Preview)
((((Family))), Well it finally happened. My brother in law was arrested at a meth lab. He was cooking up a batch when the police raided it. He's sitting in jail with no bail. More charges are pending. This was only a matter of time. Five years ago the family garage burnt down. The police had no p...
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Karilynn
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11
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645
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September Business meeting Agenda
(Preview)
September 13 Business Meeting Agenda
I. Review of August minutes
II.Review of op meeting schedule
III.New Business
Chat Room Security
Please pm me if you have any additional items.
hugs,
danz
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danz123
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0
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535
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Detaching...unleashing myself from the viscious grips of enabling behaviour...
(Preview)
I've read on this board that if you are doing something for another, whom has the time, ability and facility to do it for themselves, then you are engaging in enabling behaviour. I agree. I've had the opportunity to set a different boundary with my ex-aH recently and though I know it is the right thing,...
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Rora
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4
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764
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Why am I losing it?
(Preview)
It's been just two and a half weeks since the divorce and I am losing it! I am not able to concentrate on anything and I am not motivated to do anything. I have company coming this weekend and I just can't get myself in gear to clean house, do laundry, fix meals, just the everyday things that must be done. I ha...
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Overcome
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10
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620
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Overwhelmed Yet Again
(Preview)
Over 2 weeks ago my husband got suspended from work for refusing to take a drug/alcohol test. He told me that his company offered to let him keep his job if he enters a drug/alcohol program that lasts 5 years. It's the same program that the Board of Pharmacy uses and he'll probably have to enter it anyway...
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N8SMOM
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6
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495
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He threw a punch and missed!!!!!
(Preview)
Hello and Hugs Everyone! Tomorrow will be two weeks since my husband moved out. HURRAY! Today is day two of his at home detox. He called me a few times and tried to use me as a punching bag, but guess what....he missed...he never landed those punches...i'm too quick you see...i saw them coming and i go...
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Sincerely
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6
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497
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Constant abrupt change of emotions.. Highs to Lows and back again
(Preview)
Since I started attending meetings, I have noticed that I have had massive emotional outpourings. I remember the night after my very first meeting and sharing, I was talking online to my partner (long distance relationships, different countries - we met for 3 weeks in July and it was truly fantastic...
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MooglesPunk
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2
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1483
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Change!
(Preview)
Change to the fearful, chage is threatening, because it might mean that things may get worse, to the hopeful change is encouraging beacause things might get better, to the confident change is inspiring, because the challenge exists to make things better. katy x
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Katy
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1
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427
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It's alright, It's OK
(Preview)
today was a hectic day and I'm exhausted but it was not as bad as I thought it would be. I made it through the day unscathed and not abused by my aunt. I actually told her I was in school because I thought I want to tell people what's going on and maybe she will also get the message I'm getting ready to move on. I'...
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christinajeanne
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0
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281
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Self Worth - Courage to Change 8/4
(Preview)
Reading the passage this morning in Courage to Change for Aug 4th, I am reminded that through my self care, I am slowly finding my self worth. Part of my self care has been my dedication to touch base with my program daily! I made this dedication only a few months back and already I see a huge change within m...
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angelchar375
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2
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535
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If it's alright
(Preview)
I have been very hard on myself lately. I've also been isolating. I haven't really been connecting with people. I do find myself getting lonely. I'm fed up with my ABF because he still defends a girl that tried to break us up and said such cruel hurtful things to me and threatened me. I try to explain my fee...
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christinajeanne
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4
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480
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My update and lessons learned
(Preview)
OK Rita's wish of magic wands and combat boots sure brought something to the day! I love the saying in that card, and am thinking I could really get into the thought of visualising a sparkly pink tutu'd combat booted guardian angel, fairy or whatever she or well ... he wants to be. On to the stuff I really d...
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Jennifer
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8
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455
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