Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

What do I do? Is she helpless? I am sitting here next to her trying to get into the computer--she is not able to do anything without help! I am so frustrated! I guess sometimes some people can't get into their emails without some kind of help. Maybe she will never be computer--savvy? I need support! he...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi folks, Just what I needed and I did as I promised. Prayers offered up for all of you...not just the ones who had asked for them. So many people asking for prayers and needing them right now. I attended a horrendous medical this morning and came away feeling like the lowest form of pond life. Sick of PAI...

woopsadaisy · woopsadaisy

Ok. My way isn't working out so hot. The idea I had implanted that I am master of my own destiny lent itself to a lot of manipulations of facts, and some distortions of reality. The consequence of this was that while oft times, I DID get to where I wanted to go, I was mislead into thinking I was somehow more &q...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Why have I got something that looks like a stick of dynamite against my Topic tile? on my previous post? AND THIS ONE? Suz -- Edited by Suzannah on Wednesday 23rd of September 2009 10:46:30 AM

mominneed · mominneed

I did have a rough day yesterday and can feel the pent-up stress slowly leaving my body. I made it to my 2nd Al Anon meeting last night-this one was wonderful. We spoke of gratitude and being grateful for small things each day. I have slept better the last 2 nights (although did throw up yesterday a.m....

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

I was talking with a few program friends when this subject sorta came up. One friend was discussing how she has learned to "take care of me (hereself) by dressing up, and really glamming up, as well as by learning to stand up for herself and no longer let people walk all over her. She mentioned an un...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just for today it is all about me! Today I am sitting here with a lot of frustration & confusion. I am feeling like making it an "all about me" day! I need to take care of me first. I know that I need to count on me & hope that I don't get in other peoples' way. Sometimes I feel lost & al...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I sure had an action packed weekend. I went out alone on Friday night and managed to have a really fun evening dancing with gorgeous guys and singing karaoke and meeting people to talk to since no one I knew was there (that's highly unusual on a Friday night). At first I was kind of bummed because I could...

maresie · maresie

I have heard today the stolen check will not be replaced for a month or more. I feel absolutely victimized and wronged and upset to say the least. I feel like I always lose and lose and lose and lose some more. I am absolutely totally fed up with trying. Maresie.

Bluelady · Bluelady

I'm thinking of changing my name, it should be the Queen of Denile. Mind you just found out about my daughter's drinking problem this week end. She kept it well hid from me or I just didn't let myself see. OK if I am honest I knew she drank but being a alcoholic no way. I still don't believe it. When I called he...

Gailey · Gailey

I just got back from dropping my A son off at a 28 day rehab facility. Please keep him in your prayers and me so that I will attend more f2f meetings than I have been.

emma · emma

Hi All, I've tried to enter the chat room the last day or so and got a warning message "The application's digital signature has an error. Do you want to run the application?" I've been away from mip for a few months -- is there a current problem with application of the chatroom? Thanks, emma...

mia883 · mia883

I found difficult to cope with this friend of mine who has been my partner for a while. She is very strong and constantly brings self defeating words. This bullying attitude is described very well "in an article on matrifocus.com How can use Alanon to stop being attacked from this self defeatin...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Made it thru another eventful weekend... Boys had a Soccer Game 1st thing in the morning on Saturday... I had thought about goin to camp, but knew that there was just to much to get done at home for that to happen... I did get alot done, and I am very grateful for that, and in doing so I found quite a bi...

artie · artie

After reading such sad stories here, I feel so blessed since my husband has many wonderful qualities, but I do believe he is an A. His father was one - died of liver cancer. Husband involved in church, but has been drinking since I've know him-30+years. Drinking has increased to now around 3 hard l...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Finally I am in my new apartment! 4 months ago I left my A, boy time sure flies by quickly! Things are going good! The move went real well much better than I had expected (maybe because I had low expectations since I had a few A"s helping me-- brothers friends). I am almost done unpacking!! And it's ni...

maggiemayhem · maggiemayhem

Hello... I am new to this site and fairly new Al Anon. I have a sister who is twenty years sober and a ABF who was in recovery last time I saw him. So I have some knowledge on how things work in Al Anon and AA. I have attended two online meetings(wonderful) and hope to do a f2f soon. I have read the big book an...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I've been pretty proud of myself lately. I've been dealing with a lot of stressful stuff and haven't needed to take a Xanax in almost a month. Every day and every night I would thank God in my prayers for giving me strength. My husband left for the pain management facility in Tucson on Saturday for a 4-...

mominneed · mominneed

Thanks for all the help I received in the last day or so. I did attend my 1st Al Anon meeting tonight and am starting to feel that weight on my heart ease up. Someone today told me to look at my son's disease as "just that": if it was any other illness, would I feel it is my fault he has it? It is not...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

On my way to work every day, me and my HP usually chat up a storm:) Actually he listens and I let all my thoughts and feelings fly with total abandon. He seems good with that:) I had a huge moment of clarity over the weekend as I was "browsing" most of the day yesterday off and on,almost obsess...

Rora · Rora

Its never takes long for when the exaH and I get f2f to end up in disagreement. Today, there was a concerning medical issue with our little boy and we both wanted to be part of the doc appt. I thought, it's okay to be united for our son, right? Before long it was the same old same old...best described as us bo...

Wishfulmom · Wishfulmom

Hi. I'm Lori. I've been reading on here for several weeks now and have attended local meetings for about the same time. I have an AH and am thinking of moving out. He hasn't drank in several weeks after a horrible evening of fighting but is definetly in the dry drunk stages. He's miserable and surly t...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((( Everyone ))))))) For anyone who has never read it.... this is the text of a pamphelet that I recieved at my very first alanon meeting. It really opened my eyes, and helped me see that I am not crazy... well, ok... I was not alone. (I still may be crazy!) http://www.bendfeldt.com/alcholism....

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Happy Monday all Boy have I been lost lately. Maybe not LOST but working through alot of things. I've been doing alot of inner child work and examination and I probably should have been doing this in conjunction with my sponsor BUT, I'm finding out ALOT about ME and my issues. I really belong in an ACOA gr...

67mermaid · 67mermaid

Hi there.... I am not sure where to start so here is a little history. I used to be a Cub Scout Den leader, I worked with lots of little guys and there parents doing activities and learning about the outdoors. We always had this one father who was very invlolved and active with the group, but he often smelle...

Bluelady · Bluelady

I am new here. I just found out yesterday my daughter is going into treatment. She is married and lives in a different town. Although I have to admit I did suspect her drinking problem I had no idea it was at this point. I am in shock and yes still denial. I know this is a good thing she is getting help, my heart...

maresie · maresie

You would think with all that I endured with the ex A two years ago catastrophe would be old hat for me. Day in day out I have to guard myself not to get overloaded with anxiety about the stolen check. I knew it would be weeks but I had no idea I would go off the deep end and feel so victimized. I know full well...

smartkat · smartkat

If there are problems with my SILs lack of care of the kids (bad enough to warrant calling CPS) would it be appropriate to talk to her sponsor about things? I am NOT going to try to GET info from the sponsor, but I do want to GIVE info to her.My SIL puts a shield around herself making it virtually impossibl...

maresie · maresie

One thing I have uncovered is that I really expect that it is going to be me giving and getting very very little. Since I have put lots of bouncaries in place this is evident to me. My people pleasing was one way I thought I got something when in fact it was a way I exhausted myself. Boundaries are a tough one...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I am finding my peace and serenity. I realize it's about taking care of myself and spending time with my higher power. it is not always easy to find peace. But, I am realizing that I am not alone as I once thought I was. There is nothing wrong with admitting that I'm hurting to people and being honest with my...

Rora · Rora

As I reflect on my relationship with my exaH I realize how from the very beginning I was willing to over look some things that were important to me. I was willing to believe the excuses, the lies, the very ridiculous stories, the insults, the games. When I tried to set boundaries of tolerance, and he'd r...

Marshmallow · Marshmallow

It's been a long time since I visited this site. Left my AH (20 years together) a little over a year ago, it was tough we were divorced in May. We have two wonderful children that we share together. Problem is my ex-AH continues to be such an angry man. He's always blowing up in front of the children or...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Anybody else having trouble with their screen size? I've adjusted everything on my end. Yet when I come to the board it seems out of proportion. Help John! O great computer up in the sky we need the gremlins worked out please. Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

nmike · nmike

I am sure that I have brought up the question before. How about your family of origin - parents, sibs, cousins? We are all in midlife so we have life experiences. Since my AHsober left and I told them that he wanted a divorce, it is like a dead silence. Well, except when they mention his name. Or that they sa...

mominneed · mominneed

Hi, I have a son who has now had 2 dui's in the last 7 months and has spent 3 weeks in jail so far. He is currently in rehab doing a 28 day program-which ends on Friday. My heart is broken and I can't "let go" of him. How do I let go? he is almost 21

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I feel like I let my life revolve around others and what they think of me or what they think I should do. I know approval is something I've always seek. I've bended my own will to please others. It is only through coming to this program that I am really starting to stand up for myself and do what is best for me....

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

Hi Everyone, When I first started coming to Alanon, I thought it was a way to learn to deal with my alcoholic husband, I had NO idea it was to teach me to focus on ME. Those first few months I vented and vented, felt like I had to get everything out, it was SO healing to be believed and validated, such a contr...

3littlekittens · 3littlekittens

My lovely AH who after 5 days in detox, 30 days in an IOP, nearly 2 months of active sobriety, and $2000 out of pocket expenses for what insurance would not cover for his treatment announced to me last week that he has resumed drinking, and wants to see if he can "drink socially." His plan is not...

3littlekittens · 3littlekittens

Thank you to everyone for your comments and nurturing support regarding my post last night. I really appreciate the warm encouragement. I am literally taking one minute at a time. I particularly appreciated the encouragement about sponsorship. I do not have a sponsor, and I feel so weird about as...

New member · karalargent

Hello! My name is Kara. I am a new member and thought I would introduce myself. I am 27 years old and have been married to my husband for a year and a half. He is a recovering alcoholic and addict. I am a mother of 3 boys, ages 5, 3, and 5 months. My oldest two were from a previous marriage. My husband, j...

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

That is all. Thanks for listening. Note: This is a duplicate of the one I posted in the AA forum.

TF · TF

I am new to this and this is only my 2nd post, but i have that knot in my stomach again. AH in recovery for almost 1 1/2 years but sometimes i feel i am dealing with the same alcoholic behavior. In the the process of buying a 2 family home installing carpet and tile next week and now we find out we have to buy a n...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

((((((((Friends))))))))))), It's funny how we learn we are powerless over the alcoholic....funny thing is we are powerless over so many things in our lives. Powerless over the choices our children make, powerless over mom's still ringing our ears...powerless over so many things in life. Today f...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi everyone! First post and not quite sure what to expect. No AlAnon group near me and precious little support of any form. I have been married for nearly 38 years and my husband has been dependent on alcohol for about 4-5 years. I also have a dependent son with a learning disability. Physically fine but...

journeygirl · journeygirl

on a difficult day. AH has changed his reservation and he flies home tomorrow. I checked online yesterday and wrote down the locations and meeting times of AA meetings in our town (very small) as well as 2 neighboring towns. Do I give it to him, tell him this is the meeting schedule, do with it what you wil...

journeygirl · journeygirl

Ok, yet another crisis. I swear, even with AH off at rehab I am not getting peace. If you read my previous posts, AH has threatened to leave rehab I think 3 times now. Well, today it seems he is really going. His brother is on the way to pick him up now (he is in another state). He says he is going to get a hotel ro...

db55 · db55

I have to get the focus back on me because that crazy behavior crept back in. It took me a day to recognize it. My AH had surgery on Monday. He's been back in AA for about 6 months or so.... things have been so nice. But of course he was anxious about the surgery and so was I . .. Morning of the surgery he took...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello and Hugs, Its a lovely Thursday afternoon here in South Louisiana, the rain has finally stopped and the weather is crisp. I can feel fall just around the corner. For many years, I have referred to my life as to what was going on during that time. For example, before my dad died, after my dad died,...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Tomorrow is our 10-year wedding anniversary. With the way things have been going, I haven't felt like celebrating (I haven't even gotten him a card). The past 2 days have been pure hell with his drinking and selfishness, and I'm ready to walk out the door. Heck, if it weren't for the fact that he's...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi everyone First time on here and been to 2 al-anon meetings here in the UK, very helpful really. Girlfriend has recently admitted she's an alcoholic, her mum was an alcoholic (grown up with it), finding bottles around the house, very matriarchial emotionally controlling woman in the irish-catho...

Aloha · Aloha

Had a great meeting tonight, and one member was talking about having a changed attitude when driving where she used to go through road rage, but not so much anymore. I was thinking as she was sharing about how probably a good 90% of the time with traffic incidents, no one cut anyone off on purpose. Most of...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I woke up this morning with my head on my lab and my hands tucked under his nice warm belly(ya think I need a boyfriend or what??:)), feeling a huge sense of peace and happiness, an overwhelming gratitude for the many blessings in my life and for the people and events that got me where I am today. If you wou...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I actually began this train of thought in another post and am re-pasting here to jump start this one as I am eager to receive other's E,S&H on the topic. I have found that Alanon gives me back the tool to EXPERIENCE and live in the present. I cannot explain WHY but, it seems my entire life has been a seri...

maresie · maresie

Lately I've been beginning to see it was the fantasy of the way the ex A might be (which was actually a whole illusion at the beginning of the relationship that held me in thrall. The issue wasn't his behavior which was incredibly self destructive and alienating. The issue was my holding onto this fan...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Wow, since I have given up hope of getting back together with him my attitude has really changed for the positive. Maybe getting all the chemicals from drinking/smoking/sugar have cleared my head and this is what has led me to see the situation more clearly? I know every time I exercise my mood impro...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Ive done that awful thing again and snooped on internet, to find 8 months after my AH abandoned me that he is living with an argentinian woman in the west indies and has been since february. I heard that he had met someone but my sister in law told me there was nothing in it...she lied to me, she knew because...

vareporter · vareporter

Hello. My husband is an alcoholic, and yesterday he committed to getting help. He attended his first AA meeting, and right now is at his second. I am so proud the he's finally realized that he has a problem with alcohol. However, what is my role in this? I know I cannot control his drinking, but what...

mo5495 · mo5495

I received guidance from another web forum to visit Al-Anon. I am afraid to go to an actual face-to-face meeting for fear that it will enrage my husband. I have been married to him for 17 years. He has been a heavy drinker the whole time. I have screamed, cried, threatened, and just about everything...

journeygirl · journeygirl

This is only my second post, but I have been reading the forum for about 3 weeks now since my AH entered rehab. I have been reading the Al-Anon literature as well and really trying to begin working the steps. My AH is currently on day 19 of a 28-day rehab program in another state. The last few days when I spok...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey all... Sorry I have not been much of a help or support here of late, the excuses really don't matter, so I wouldn't waist your time... I have been doin some "inner Demon" searches here of late, tryin to figure out what makes me tick, and frankly what Ticks me Off... And well, the numbers are...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	here I go again--is my mom helpless? (Preview) What do I do? Is she helpless? I am sitting here next to her trying to get into the computer--she is not able to do anything without help! I am so frustrated! I guess sometimes some people can't get into their emails without some kind of help. Maybe she will never be computer--savvy? I need support! he...	Hoot Nanny	3	713	Sep 23, 2009 by Loupiness
	Checking in after my Pilgrimage and my time out before I go into hospital yet again... (Preview) Hi folks, Just what I needed and I did as I promised. Prayers offered up for all of you...not just the ones who had asked for them. So many people asking for prayers and needing them right now. I attended a horrendous medical this morning and came away feeling like the lowest form of pond life. Sick of PAI...	Suzannah	3	650	Sep 23, 2009 by Christy
	revisiting 1 and 2 (Preview) Ok. My way isn't working out so hot. The idea I had implanted that I am master of my own destiny lent itself to a lot of manipulations of facts, and some distortions of reality. The consequence of this was that while oft times, I DID get to where I wanted to go, I was mislead into thinking I was somehow more &q...	woopsadaisy	4	617	Sep 23, 2009 by woopsadaisy
	By the way, just what IS that sign against my Topic title? (Preview) Why have I got something that looks like a stick of dynamite against my Topic tile? on my previous post? AND THIS ONE? Suz -- Edited by Suzannah on Wednesday 23rd of September 2009 10:46:30 AM	Suzannah	4	669	Sep 23, 2009 by debilyn
	second al anon meeting-slowly getting this! (Preview) I did have a rough day yesterday and can feel the pent-up stress slowly leaving my body. I made it to my 2nd Al Anon meeting last night-this one was wonderful. We spoke of gratitude and being grateful for small things each day. I have slept better the last 2 nights (although did throw up yesterday a.m....	mominneed	2	596	Sep 23, 2009 by Rora
	regained self esteem vs. narcissisum (Preview) I was talking with a few program friends when this subject sorta came up. One friend was discussing how she has learned to "take care of me (hereself) by dressing up, and really glamming up, as well as by learning to stand up for herself and no longer let people walk all over her. She mentioned an un...	MaryPoppins	5	932	Sep 23, 2009 by lucky
	maybe today--it is all about me! (Preview) Just for today it is all about me! Today I am sitting here with a lot of frustration & confusion. I am feeling like making it an "all about me" day! I need to take care of me first. I know that I need to count on me & hope that I don't get in other peoples' way. Sometimes I feel lost & al...	Hoot Nanny	2	543	Sep 23, 2009 by Sincerely
	Had a great weekend (Preview) I sure had an action packed weekend. I went out alone on Friday night and managed to have a really fun evening dancing with gorgeous guys and singing karaoke and meeting people to talk to since no one I knew was there (that's highly unusual on a Friday night). At first I was kind of bummed because I could...	carolinagirl	2	578	Sep 23, 2009 by maire rua
	Latest news on the stolen check (Preview) I have heard today the stolen check will not be replaced for a month or more. I feel absolutely victimized and wronged and upset to say the least. I feel like I always lose and lose and lose and lose some more. I am absolutely totally fed up with trying. Maresie.	maresie	6	859	Sep 23, 2009 by maire rua
	Queen of Denial (Preview) I'm thinking of changing my name, it should be the Queen of Denile. Mind you just found out about my daughter's drinking problem this week end. She kept it well hid from me or I just didn't let myself see. OK if I am honest I knew she drank but being a alcoholic no way. I still don't believe it. When I called he...	Bluelady	2	655	Sep 23, 2009 by Loupiness
	another new beginnng (Preview) I just got back from dropping my A son off at a 28 day rehab facility. Please keep him in your prayers and me so that I will attend more f2f meetings than I have been.	Gailey	8	668	Sep 23, 2009 by Karilynn
	MIP Chat room (Preview) Hi All, I've tried to enter the chat room the last day or so and got a warning message "The application's digital signature has an error. Do you want to run the application?" I've been away from mip for a few months -- is there a current problem with application of the chatroom? Thanks, emma...	emma	3	3845	Sep 22, 2009 by Jen
	How to cope with an other woman which has RA? (Preview) I found difficult to cope with this friend of mine who has been my partner for a while. She is very strong and constantly brings self defeating words. This bullying attitude is described very well "in an article on matrifocus.com How can use Alanon to stop being attacked from this self defeatin...	mia883	3	834	Sep 22, 2009 by Christy
	Thankful... (Preview) Welp... Made it thru another eventful weekend... Boys had a Soccer Game 1st thing in the morning on Saturday... I had thought about goin to camp, but knew that there was just to much to get done at home for that to happen... I did get alot done, and I am very grateful for that, and in doing so I found quite a bi...	Jozie	4	594	Sep 22, 2009 by MyThoughts2U2
	Christian AH (Preview) After reading such sad stories here, I feel so blessed since my husband has many wonderful qualities, but I do believe he is an A. His father was one - died of liver cancer. Husband involved in church, but has been drinking since I've know him-30+years. Drinking has increased to now around 3 hard l...	artie	3	717	Sep 22, 2009 by abbyal
	Home sweet home! (Preview) Finally I am in my new apartment! 4 months ago I left my A, boy time sure flies by quickly! Things are going good! The move went real well much better than I had expected (maybe because I had low expectations since I had a few A"s helping me-- brothers friends). I am almost done unpacking!! And it's ni...	Melissa21	9	780	Sep 22, 2009 by Jozie
	Newbie here.. (Preview) Hello... I am new to this site and fairly new Al Anon. I have a sister who is twenty years sober and a ABF who was in recovery last time I saw him. So I have some knowledge on how things work in Al Anon and AA. I have attended two online meetings(wonderful) and hope to do a f2f soon. I have read the big book an...	maggiemayhem	5	636	Sep 22, 2009 by maggiemayhem
	Was doing better (Preview) I've been pretty proud of myself lately. I've been dealing with a lot of stressful stuff and haven't needed to take a Xanax in almost a month. Every day and every night I would thank God in my prayers for giving me strength. My husband left for the pain management facility in Tucson on Saturday for a 4-...	N8SMOM	3	545	Sep 22, 2009 by N8SMOM
	a big Step for mominneed (Preview) Thanks for all the help I received in the last day or so. I did attend my 1st Al Anon meeting tonight and am starting to feel that weight on my heart ease up. Someone today told me to look at my son's disease as "just that": if it was any other illness, would I feel it is my fault he has it? It is not...	mominneed	4	641	Sep 22, 2009 by emma
	Hiding from me..... in the online personals..... (Preview) On my way to work every day, me and my HP usually chat up a storm:) Actually he listens and I let all my thoughts and feelings fly with total abandon. He seems good with that:) I had a huge moment of clarity over the weekend as I was "browsing" most of the day yesterday off and on,almost obsess...	shellyj123	6	644	Sep 22, 2009 by kitty
	Its never good when the exaH and I get f2f... (Preview) Its never takes long for when the exaH and I get f2f to end up in disagreement. Today, there was a concerning medical issue with our little boy and we both wanted to be part of the doc appt. I thought, it's okay to be united for our son, right? Before long it was the same old same old...best described as us bo...	Rora	6	626	Sep 22, 2009 by glad lee
	New here and introduction (Preview) Hi. I'm Lori. I've been reading on here for several weeks now and have attended local meetings for about the same time. I have an AH and am thinking of moving out. He hasn't drank in several weeks after a horrible evening of fighting but is definetly in the dry drunk stages. He's miserable and surly t...	Wishfulmom	3	601	Sep 21, 2009 by woopsadaisy
	A merry-go-round named denial (Preview) ((((((( Everyone ))))))) For anyone who has never read it.... this is the text of a pamphelet that I recieved at my very first alanon meeting. It really opened my eyes, and helped me see that I am not crazy... well, ok... I was not alone. (I still may be crazy!) http://www.bendfeldt.com/alcholism....	rtexas	4	5126	Sep 21, 2009 by Jennifer
	Feeling Overwhelmed by my Character Defects (Preview) Happy Monday all Boy have I been lost lately. Maybe not LOST but working through alot of things. I've been doing alot of inner child work and examination and I probably should have been doing this in conjunction with my sponsor BUT, I'm finding out ALOT about ME and my issues. I really belong in an ACOA gr...	RunnerChick	5	3847	Sep 21, 2009 by debilyn
	Im new! Need help. (Preview) Hi there.... I am not sure where to start so here is a little history. I used to be a Cub Scout Den leader, I worked with lots of little guys and there parents doing activities and learning about the outdoors. We always had this one father who was very invlolved and active with the group, but he often smelle...	67mermaid	4	628	Sep 21, 2009 by Andrea12
	I am new here (Preview) I am new here. I just found out yesterday my daughter is going into treatment. She is married and lives in a different town. Although I have to admit I did suspect her drinking problem I had no idea it was at this point. I am in shock and yes still denial. I know this is a good thing she is getting help, my heart...	Bluelady	7	620	Sep 21, 2009 by Andrea12
	catastrophe (Preview) You would think with all that I endured with the ex A two years ago catastrophe would be old hat for me. Day in day out I have to guard myself not to get overloaded with anxiety about the stolen check. I knew it would be weeks but I had no idea I would go off the deep end and feel so victimized. I know full well...	maresie	10	667	Sep 21, 2009 by maresie
	Should I talk to her sponsor? (Preview) If there are problems with my SILs lack of care of the kids (bad enough to warrant calling CPS) would it be appropriate to talk to her sponsor about things? I am NOT going to try to GET info from the sponsor, but I do want to GIVE info to her.My SIL puts a shield around herself making it virtually impossibl...	smartkat	16	868	Sep 21, 2009 by smartkat
	Expectations. (Preview) One thing I have uncovered is that I really expect that it is going to be me giving and getting very very little. Since I have put lots of bouncaries in place this is evident to me. My people pleasing was one way I thought I got something when in fact it was a way I exhausted myself. Boundaries are a tough one...	maresie	6	566	Sep 21, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Clumsy (Preview) I am finding my peace and serenity. I realize it's about taking care of myself and spending time with my higher power. it is not always easy to find peace. But, I am realizing that I am not alone as I once thought I was. There is nothing wrong with admitting that I'm hurting to people and being honest with my...	christinajeanne	2	553	Sep 21, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Being loved the way I need to be... (Preview) As I reflect on my relationship with my exaH I realize how from the very beginning I was willing to over look some things that were important to me. I was willing to believe the excuses, the lies, the very ridiculous stories, the insults, the games. When I tried to set boundaries of tolerance, and he'd r...	Rora	9	626	Sep 21, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Been a long time...had a bad day (Preview) It's been a long time since I visited this site. Left my AH (20 years together) a little over a year ago, it was tough we were divorced in May. We have two wonderful children that we share together. Problem is my ex-AH continues to be such an angry man. He's always blowing up in front of the children or...	Marshmallow	4	715	Sep 21, 2009 by christinajeanne
	Screen size (Preview) Anybody else having trouble with their screen size? I've adjusted everything on my end. Yet when I come to the board it seems out of proportion. Help John! O great computer up in the sky we need the gremlins worked out please. Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty	Karilynn	4	500	Sep 21, 2009 by debilyn
	Does your family ever get it? (Preview) I am sure that I have brought up the question before. How about your family of origin - parents, sibs, cousins? We are all in midlife so we have life experiences. Since my AHsober left and I told them that he wanted a divorce, it is like a dead silence. Well, except when they mention his name. Or that they sa...	nmike	4	680	Sep 20, 2009 by Andrea12
	a mom desperately needs help. Having a really bad day (Preview) Hi, I have a son who has now had 2 dui's in the last 7 months and has spent 3 weeks in jail so far. He is currently in rehab doing a 28 day program-which ends on Friday. My heart is broken and I can't "let go" of him. How do I let go? he is almost 21	mominneed	6	652	Sep 20, 2009 by Jerry F
	Buttons (Preview) I feel like I let my life revolve around others and what they think of me or what they think I should do. I know approval is something I've always seek. I've bended my own will to please others. It is only through coming to this program that I am really starting to stand up for myself and do what is best for me....	christinajeanne	1	612	Sep 20, 2009 by Jerry F
	Alanon Award (Preview) Hi Everyone, When I first started coming to Alanon, I thought it was a way to learn to deal with my alcoholic husband, I had NO idea it was to teach me to focus on ME. Those first few months I vented and vented, felt like I had to get everything out, it was SO healing to be believed and validated, such a contr...	MaryPoppins	8	705	Sep 20, 2009 by mandy1987
	trying to focus and get it right (Preview) My lovely AH who after 5 days in detox, 30 days in an IOP, nearly 2 months of active sobriety, and $2000 out of pocket expenses for what insurance would not cover for his treatment announced to me last week that he has resumed drinking, and wants to see if he can "drink socially." His plan is not...	3littlekittens	4	766	Sep 19, 2009 by nmike
	Thank you!!! and sponsorship questions (Preview) Thank you to everyone for your comments and nurturing support regarding my post last night. I really appreciate the warm encouragement. I am literally taking one minute at a time. I particularly appreciated the encouragement about sponsorship. I do not have a sponsor, and I feel so weird about as...	3littlekittens	1	660	Sep 19, 2009 by Jerry F
	New member (Preview) Hello! My name is Kara. I am a new member and thought I would introduce myself. I am 27 years old and have been married to my husband for a year and a half. He is a recovering alcoholic and addict. I am a mother of 3 boys, ages 5, 3, and 5 months. My oldest two were from a previous marriage. My husband, j...	karalargent	7	871	Sep 19, 2009 by nmike
	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) That is all. Thanks for listening. Note: This is a duplicate of the one I posted in the AA forum.	FlyingSquirrel	3	1317	Sep 19, 2009 by blender_girl
	yet another episode (Preview) I am new to this and this is only my 2nd post, but i have that knot in my stomach again. AH in recovery for almost 1 1/2 years but sometimes i feel i am dealing with the same alcoholic behavior. In the the process of buying a 2 family home installing carpet and tile next week and now we find out we have to buy a n...	TF	3	626	Sep 19, 2009 by neshema2
	Powerless (Preview) ((((((((Friends))))))))))), It's funny how we learn we are powerless over the alcoholic....funny thing is we are powerless over so many things in our lives. Powerless over the choices our children make, powerless over mom's still ringing our ears...powerless over so many things in life. Today f...	Andrea12	2	701	Sep 19, 2009 by Karilynn
	Newbie (Preview) Hi everyone! First post and not quite sure what to expect. No AlAnon group near me and precious little support of any form. I have been married for nearly 38 years and my husband has been dependent on alcohol for about 4-5 years. I also have a dependent son with a learning disability. Physically fine but...	Tattyhead	8	1553	Sep 19, 2009 by hotrod
	Yet another question... (Preview) on a difficult day. AH has changed his reservation and he flies home tomorrow. I checked online yesterday and wrote down the locations and meeting times of AA meetings in our town (very small) as well as 2 neighboring towns. Do I give it to him, tell him this is the meeting schedule, do with it what you wil...	journeygirl	6	638	Sep 19, 2009 by Christy
	Really need some help today... (Preview) Ok, yet another crisis. I swear, even with AH off at rehab I am not getting peace. If you read my previous posts, AH has threatened to leave rehab I think 3 times now. Well, today it seems he is really going. His brother is on the way to pick him up now (he is in another state). He says he is going to get a hotel ro...	journeygirl	7	615	Sep 19, 2009 by Christy
	It sneaks back (Preview) I have to get the focus back on me because that crazy behavior crept back in. It took me a day to recognize it. My AH had surgery on Monday. He's been back in AA for about 6 months or so.... things have been so nice. But of course he was anxious about the surgery and so was I . .. Morning of the surgery he took...	db55	8	681	Sep 18, 2009 by debilyn
	Preparing for this life's season.... (Preview) Hello and Hugs, Its a lovely Thursday afternoon here in South Louisiana, the rain has finally stopped and the weather is crisp. I can feel fall just around the corner. For many years, I have referred to my life as to what was going on during that time. For example, before my dad died, after my dad died,...	Sincerely	3	547	Sep 18, 2009 by neshema2
	Anniversary - what to do? (Preview) Tomorrow is our 10-year wedding anniversary. With the way things have been going, I haven't felt like celebrating (I haven't even gotten him a card). The past 2 days have been pure hell with his drinking and selfishness, and I'm ready to walk out the door. Heck, if it weren't for the fact that he's...	N8SMOM	8	885	Sep 18, 2009 by neshema2
	Hi, newbie here in the UK. Is there a UK forum? Girlfriend is an alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone First time on here and been to 2 al-anon meetings here in the UK, very helpful really. Girlfriend has recently admitted she's an alcoholic, her mum was an alcoholic (grown up with it), finding bottles around the house, very matriarchial emotionally controlling woman in the irish-catho...	jitsuka	16	839	Sep 18, 2009 by jitsuka
	Going through life stuck in "Road Rage"? (Preview) Had a great meeting tonight, and one member was talking about having a changed attitude when driving where she used to go through road rage, but not so much anymore. I was thinking as she was sharing about how probably a good 90% of the time with traffic incidents, no one cut anyone off on purpose. Most of...	Aloha	6	825	Sep 18, 2009 by Andrea12
	Reflections and gratitude......... (Preview) I woke up this morning with my head on my lab and my hands tucked under his nice warm belly(ya think I need a boyfriend or what??:)), feeling a huge sense of peace and happiness, an overwhelming gratitude for the many blessings in my life and for the people and events that got me where I am today. If you wou...	shellyj123	2	740	Sep 18, 2009 by RLC
	Breaking through the Numbness - Sharing Topic (Preview) I actually began this train of thought in another post and am re-pasting here to jump start this one as I am eager to receive other's E,S&H on the topic. I have found that Alanon gives me back the tool to EXPERIENCE and live in the present. I cannot explain WHY but, it seems my entire life has been a seri...	RunnerChick	2	588	Sep 18, 2009 by maresie
	the fantasy (Preview) Lately I've been beginning to see it was the fantasy of the way the ex A might be (which was actually a whole illusion at the beginning of the relationship that held me in thrall. The issue wasn't his behavior which was incredibly self destructive and alienating. The issue was my holding onto this fan...	maresie	6	663	Sep 18, 2009 by maresie
	I'm so excited!!! (Preview) Wow, since I have given up hope of getting back together with him my attitude has really changed for the positive. Maybe getting all the chemicals from drinking/smoking/sugar have cleared my head and this is what has led me to see the situation more clearly? I know every time I exercise my mood impro...	carolinagirl	6	640	Sep 18, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Taken a tumble (Preview) Ive done that awful thing again and snooped on internet, to find 8 months after my AH abandoned me that he is living with an argentinian woman in the west indies and has been since february. I heard that he had met someone but my sister in law told me there was nothing in it...she lied to me, she knew because...	Lilly Burn	7	678	Sep 18, 2009 by shellyj123
	What is my role in AHs recovery? (Preview) Hello. My husband is an alcoholic, and yesterday he committed to getting help. He attended his first AA meeting, and right now is at his second. I am so proud the he's finally realized that he has a problem with alcohol. However, what is my role in this? I know I cannot control his drinking, but what...	vareporter	5	773	Sep 17, 2009 by db55
	New (Preview) I received guidance from another web forum to visit Al-Anon. I am afraid to go to an actual face-to-face meeting for fear that it will enrage my husband. I have been married to him for 17 years. He has been a heavy drinker the whole time. I have screamed, cried, threatened, and just about everything...	mo5495	4	667	Sep 17, 2009 by Jerry F
	Really trying to remember to "Let Go and let God"... (Preview) This is only my second post, but I have been reading the forum for about 3 weeks now since my AH entered rehab. I have been reading the Al-Anon literature as well and really trying to begin working the steps. My AH is currently on day 19 of a 28-day rehab program in another state. The last few days when I spok...	journeygirl	4	744	Sep 17, 2009 by journeygirl
	Time for Change... (Preview) Hey all... Sorry I have not been much of a help or support here of late, the excuses really don't matter, so I wouldn't waist your time... I have been doin some "inner Demon" searches here of late, tryin to figure out what makes me tick, and frankly what Ticks me Off... And well, the numbers are...	Jozie	4	617	Sep 17, 2009 by Ness
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.