Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Everyone! Why does it still bother me that my husband can't be there for me? I know that when we put expectations on someone other than GOD we are let down. I don't think its expectations, I think its hope or wishes. What's the difference? I dunno sometimes. I've set a boundary and asked him to lea...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I'm so tired of always seeming to take a step forward and feeling pretty decent to then taking two steps back. I feel I never make any progress!! I know that I can't just get over my AH overnight, but I'm tired of feeling sad and thinking about it. Sometimes I hate my brain and wish I could get some shock t...

Diva · Diva

My A partner has honed selfishness into a fine art. I know, I know. All of them are selfish; of this I have no doubt. But you would think that one who went on a binge, boarded an airplane for London, stayed a week in the Dorchester Hotel there and had the nerve to come back, would be just a bit contrite. Af...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I think I will continue to be amazed at the power this program can have on a person. I had a hard time seeing it in the past becuase my "A" insisted that Al-anon was not working for me. I didn't realize then that validation was needed, but it was. Now I am getting validation from all sorts o...

shadow1 · shadow1

(((((((((Family))))))))) I know I haven't been around much and when I do come around I seem quite...I do apologize for this but I have had a lot going on in my life. I am going in for major surgery on Dec 2 and am scared to death. I believe in the power of prayer and I am asking those of you that pray to please ad...

Dini · Dini

I know it is a choice and I don't want to feel guilty - I think it is the hardest emotion for me to control. My AH has offered up what he feels he can do to save the marriage. I have been through this before and of course, I don't have faith. Nor, does it change how I feel about him or our marriage. I didn't ask him t...

jasobel · jasobel

Please help me work through this. I have a very deep spiritual base in my life. I have always communicated with my HP on a regular basis as my best friend, confidant and advisor. My Alcoholic Ex left me three weeks ago and I am having a very hard time now questioning how a higher power who loves me would take...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I realized today that the mental and physical exhaustion, coupled with weight gain due to medical issues is slowly taking huge toll, and I am sliding quickly into depression. Fears and worry about what if's regarding my pending surgery are creeping in more often than I can count lately. I am trying t...

Rora · Rora

I've fallen from my program and I'm having a hard time getting back on. In working the steps I realized that admitting was first, then believing was next. I saw quickly that for me, without being able to believe in an HP that I could not do this "on my own". For a while I was feeling good about m...

Tracy · Tracy

I came to the board earlier feeling lonely and depressed lots of negative thinking and self pity. I ready quite a few posts before I decided to post thankfully. GUESS What my mood had changed I didnt feel alone or depressed anymore. just want to say thanks to you all I know you all get as much as I do from A...

cassidy2010 · cassidy2010

Today I took a time out from my own troubles.I mean really what good am I doing wallowing in self pity.Maybe ,I'm not sure what I need to do right now this moment in my own life.I started looking around.No more tears atleast for today.Maybe if I could bring a smile to someone elses face I might just find a sm...

grateful · grateful

I've been an alanon member for about 6 years now. When I started I was married to an active abusive alcoholic, and we divorced. I began working on myself and found myself quite serene most days. I began a relationship with a terrific normal man who was everything I wanted in a partner. He moved in with me a...

maresie · maresie

I would like to spend the next hundred years taking the inventory of the ex A. What I've learned recently from watching other people engaging in the madness of trying to squeeze something out of an alcoholic is that I had my part. One sure thing is the more impossible the relationship was, the higher t...

Holly09 · Holly09

That is what I feel my A boyfriend of 7 yrs is right now. He grew up in a family that didn't discuss how they felt and this is how he is now, the time bomb part is that last year he lost his mom to lung cancer and I also lost my dad to lung cancer. Both times he does what the A does to make them selves feel better (or...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Anyone know anything about lawyer stuff??? The company my AH works for is a small company that is owned by two guys that are also his buddies. They both have issues as well, with alcohol and drugs problems. Anyway, the one owner, Jason, he's getting a divorce from his wife. Well...his wife owns a porti...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am a bit annoyed today because last night my husband drove another A to catch the train. I t wasn't so much that he took the guy(well.. a little) but that it was all of a sudden sort of & it was a 2 hour trip one way plus he left late enough that I was thinking about going to bed early--long story short: I...

cassidy2010 · cassidy2010

Well, I'm not sure where to start.Don't know if I am even in the right place.Truthfully I am kinda scared to be on here because I am afraid my husband will read this.I worry because he has already had friends hack several of my accounts but I need to talk to someone because sitting here crying isn't help...

jasobel · jasobel

This has been my first week in alanon - thank God for this onilne group. I can't get to many group meetings because I am a single mom but I do go once a week - need to go more. Is it overwhelming at first? All of the emotions that surface from hearing others tell their story - all of the realizations of how this d...

c_k_71 · c_k_71

i have been reading others post here for a little while now but this is my first post. i am thankful for the availability of this online. sometimes i would come on & read stuff while my bf was snoring in a drunkin stupor next to me and it defintly helped! im frustrated not with him, but with myself. i...

dori711 · dori711

My husband is better now. He hasn't quit drinking and I'm hoping that he knows that the last time I just about had it with him. He cut down some on his drinking, but I'm not putting my head in the sand because he still drinks and still acts like a jerk. He blew up at me a couple of times and instead of defend...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My addicted son is now 29 years old, I have been dealing with him for the last ten years, and I have now come to a place in the relationship that I have detached. I don't cry and beg anymore, I don't try to run after him and try to keep up with who and what he is getting into. I know I am better off for it, but here...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I had my first initial status conference today with my AH...I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but I was thinking that he wouldn't get real parenting time with his 16 year long history of documented drinking and drug use. That really didn't get brought up today, and our temporary orders hearing is...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Things in my life seem to have settled somewhat and for that I am grateful. I however am and have been struggling with worry and letting go and trying to just live in THIS day. I know all the reasons I should and I know that I should but it is just hard to do right now. I am having to have surgery the week before...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband's DUI sentencing was today and by all accounts, he should be in jail right now. Unfortunately, thanks to his lawyer and that stupid judge, his sentencing has been postponed a (2nd time) until JANUARY 12!!!!!! I was really looking forward to him not being here for Christmas. He has mana...

babysteps · babysteps

My AH have been apart for a year. I am just now seeing how I have been damaged by living with an A for so long. Someone here posted a while ago an acronym for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. That really stuck with me and I see that I am enmeshed with fear. While living with my A he would go through bouts of c...

Desperate_2275 · Desperate_2275

Hi - I'm new here... I've been reading some posts and just registered myself today. My husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years but we've been together for 12 years and friends for about 20 yrs or so.... So here goes - I'm going to give a little description... For years my husband has had some s...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband is acting like a total jerk these days. We had a huge blow-up yesterday morning (mostly about him getting drunk and "checking out" on us). Of course his usual response to that is that he checks out on me, not our son. Then he ended up spending the ENTIRE day in the guest room (from...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Sometimes I have doubt that my soon to be ex AH has a problem. When I look through my journal, and back at our lives together (20 years together) and I remember all those binges he went on, the four times he was in rehab, the many many hospital visits, I know he has a problem. But then he'll be able to contro...

cdngirl · cdngirl

AH called me and asked if it was ok for him to go out for drinks with his coworkers after work today. What is a good response to this? He has been to two AA meetings, but that was three weeks ago. He is now trying to control it on his own again, hoping he can be a social drinker. I know that's not possible, but I...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF had a slip after 6 months last weekend. He has really worked the programme and could not have tried harder then bang hes gone again. I ended this relationship in March and he ent into AA all my hope returned so we got back together as he wastrying to get better. But today I am on my knees I ca not fight...

serching-sandy · serching-sandy

hi.. I say new to helping me because, I'm just starting to realize how much I have been protecting this wonderful family secret.. It started when I was born.. I don't remember much from my earlier years, but I know that I always kept it quiet, my parents just didn't feel well. my dads job was stressful...

Gailey · Gailey

My A son came out of a 28 day rehab and drank , I think, the following day. His insurance from his job, which he didn't return to, expired 10/31. He made sure to go to his therapist who prescribes his antidepressant on 10/28 so to be sure he had more refills before his insurance ran out. He just calls me this m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My dad recently sent all those he loves a special poem about God. I didn't know that he liked to write poetry. It really moved me. I love my dad very much. He lives about 900 miles away from me. Anyhow, I just wanted to share that with you all. I won't post the poem at this time but I just wanted to let you know t...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), Here's an old photo of Tim & I taken 20 years ago at the university. I should be that thin today. The other 2 are Pipers playing Sorry last night w/my niece and I. Pipers didn't win, but she did take control of the board! Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

Hangin-On · Hangin-On

Im new here. Kinda unsure of what to think yet, but I am really in need of a place to vent where people can understand what I am going threw and to hear stories of what others are going threw as well. Im at my wits end with my husband. And although we have been threw SO MUCH DRAMA this year regarding his drinkin...

sdisnie · sdisnie

It's my oldest sons 19th birthday today...I'm so proud of the man he's become and I love him and all my kids with all my heart. They are my life, I would do anything for them. Today I got an email from an atty that my AH obtained today, it was a pretty nasty email, that made me break down and cry. I was shock...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

For weeks I have been saying that I'm looking forward to my husband going to jail - I've been so mad at him for drinking after rehab, I just wanted him away so he wouldn't ruin my Christmas. Yesterday I was in a traffic accident and it really shook me. It has brought out a fear in me - a fear of being alone. M...

DreamXL · DreamXL

Hello, I am your disease I Hate meetings...I Hate higher powers...I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. I Am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's Me. I have killed mill...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Sometimes I honestly think that work is my safe place, the place where I can go and do what I need to....X Y Z and that is it. I know what is expected of me, what dates it needs done and who to go to when I need help. It's the simplest part of my life some days......not lately, but some days. The weekend starte...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... This weekend was one of those roller Coasters I have been attemping to avoid here of late... I just need to get it out of my head...ESH would be a wonderful gift on times like this for me... :) Friday 13th was the best of it all :) I went to ol' Home f2f Meeting, it was a full house we were smooched there w...

canadianguy · canadianguy

(Feeling in a reflective mood tonight, so this is a re-post of one I posted in 2006.... still very applicable today...) Just thinking about a couple of "aha" moments in my recovery, kind of 'lines in the sand' that are memories, and perhaps stepping stones for me finally "getting it...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, 5 years ago today my AHsober of 30 years said that he wanted a divorce. He said that he didn't love me, that he wasn't happy, and that the purpose of life was happiness. He said that he will always be an addict and he was tired trying to get better and working on our relationship. I of course w...

Gailey · Gailey

Funny story...BIL is at the Sheraton in downtown Nashville last night for work. Not being into country music he is wondering why everyone is walking around in a tux. On the elevator with 2 guys he ask what is going on. The one guy replied it is the CMA tonight. BIL says "who are you...I will look for y...

xeno59 · xeno59

Grateful member of alanon here My son is an addict. Technically homeless but sitting in jail at the moment for violating probation by using drugs. I turned him in. He had been to rehab ( court ordered) but released after 5 weeks as it is a county run program and basically they needed the bed. My son pleade...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Wow....I just read some of my old posts from 4 years ago! It took me right back to how I felt then dealing with the craziness of my AH and what he was doing to our family..... I look back now and reflect over all the years with him and all the ways his drinking has affected me and how I let it continue to affect m...

Tracy · Tracy

Well my ABF is still missing and I have through myself into my programme, meetings, phone calls to sponsor, reading, talking to Hp and guess what I m back. I know it is not personal, I know he will be devastated once he comes round but back to me I have supported him for 4 and a half years HOW IS THIS WORKING FO...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

It's so funny, I just have to laugh (or I'd go insane). As I left with my son and mom today, my husband was all set to start on the Christmas lights (11:00 a.m.). As we drove away, we noticed the house on the corner was being decorated with Christmas lights too. We came home around 2:00 to check on the progr...

Ness · Ness

I adored Xmas......loved to make it cosy, happy, and fun....it wasnt ever about stuff it was about magic My 2 kids grew into big adult Xmas lovers.....we always kept the magic going. Xmas of 2004 was the year we realised our son was no longer in control of his drinking or indeed his life. November of th...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I went with a couple friends to this really great new church that people around my area have been raving about recently. Now I know why, the message that they give is so incredible and feels so much like an alanon meeting!! It was like he was speaking directly to me....talking about relationships and...

ally · ally

Hi Folks It's funny how at times you think your life is moving on yet you still live with the thoughts and feelings from your past. I can see there are a few still on the site from a time where i participated on MIP. To cut a long story short this is where i'm at today. I'm now 38 years old and still single. I work...

layneee · layneee

I WANT SO BADLY JUST TO PACK UP MY THINGS AND LEAVE!!!!! I KNOW ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE AND RIGHT NOW IM JUST ANGRY. IM ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR LETTING THIS GO SO LONG AND HOPING IT WOULD ALL BE OK.... MY ABF WENT TO REHAB THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH , WAS SOBER FOR 6 OR 7 DAYS AFTER RETURNING HOME... WENT BACK TO DET...

Katy · Katy

To each and everyone of you that contributes to this forum, I am truly greatful, I belive in a higher power but as yet do not pray regularly, I have done though when my life has brought me to my knees, and always something somewhere has thrown me a life line, I am humbled by each and every one of you that comes...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Everyone, Last weekend I went to a wedding. My Deceased Uncle's Girlfriend was there. He was an A. Everyone was so surprised how fantastic and happy she looked. She is obviously taking care of herself. Her and I were talking, she told me how fantastic and happy I look myself. She didn't kno...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

What a shock. There I was thinking he was tucked away on his caribbean island with his argentinian pole dancer (although his nephew had told me it was on the rocks I treated it as heresay). Anyway, hes been emailing old work colleagues/friends asking if there is any work back here. OMG what on earth woul...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My addict son called a little while ago and I picked the phone up, he wants money for cigarettes, I told him no. He made a veiled threat of hurting himself if he didn't get some help from me, and that I was the reason he takes drugs. I told him that was his decision to live the way he wanted to, but I shouldn't b...

jasobel · jasobel

Can others share what you do when you start blaming yourself for another's drinking behavior? What step mainly focuses on this? I find myself at times caught in the cycle of saying "what if I had done xxx differently?" instead of focusing on the alcoholic and their inability to communicat...

mermaid88 · mermaid88

My fiance has been to Hazelden, and has relapsed. He is now going to go to Passages in Malibu in two days. Does anyone know anything about this treatment center? I want him to get help, but my research has led me to believe that Passages is not a good treatment center. Does anyone know anything about i...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband got a call from his attorney yesterday and there's a good chance he'll be heading to jail for 45 days right after his sentencing on November 17. My husband was under the impression that his attorney would be stretching this out another couple months, but from the looks of things, that's no...

Jerry F · Jerry F

It says in the closing of our meetings "If you keep and open mind you will find help." I had my mind open this evening and heard the tool "Detachment" and the slogan "Let go and let God" and the very same time. Detachment...getting out of HPs way. I like it!! Tonigh...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

Thank you to all for your prayers, support and concern. I wish you were all here. Because my surgery is being paid for by Medi-Cal, there is a bit of a hold up with scheduling the surgery. Apparently there is some sort of approval needed before the doctor can proceed. As soon as I know the date I will be ce...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why does it still bother me? (Preview) Hello Everyone! Why does it still bother me that my husband can't be there for me? I know that when we put expectations on someone other than GOD we are let down. I don't think its expectations, I think its hope or wishes. What's the difference? I dunno sometimes. I've set a boundary and asked him to lea...	Sincerely	5	1270	Nov 22, 2009 by Karilynn
	One step forward...two steps back (Preview) I'm so tired of always seeming to take a step forward and feeling pretty decent to then taking two steps back. I feel I never make any progress!! I know that I can't just get over my AH overnight, but I'm tired of feeling sad and thinking about it. Sometimes I hate my brain and wish I could get some shock t...	sdisnie	3	864	Nov 21, 2009 by Maria123
	Selfishness (Preview) My A partner has honed selfishness into a fine art. I know, I know. All of them are selfish; of this I have no doubt. But you would think that one who went on a binge, boarded an airplane for London, stayed a week in the Dorchester Hotel there and had the nerve to come back, would be just a bit contrite. Af...	Diva	8	917	Nov 21, 2009 by Maria123
	Choosing Recovery (Preview) Hi all, I think I will continue to be amazed at the power this program can have on a person. I had a hard time seeing it in the past becuase my "A" insisted that Al-anon was not working for me. I didn't realize then that validation was needed, but it was. Now I am getting validation from all sorts o...	Mandy123	3	891	Nov 21, 2009 by Maria123
	prayers needed please (Preview) (((((((((Family))))))))) I know I haven't been around much and when I do come around I seem quite...I do apologize for this but I have had a lot going on in my life. I am going in for major surgery on Dec 2 and am scared to death. I believe in the power of prayer and I am asking those of you that pray to please ad...	shadow1	14	730	Nov 21, 2009 by Maria123
	Feeling Guilty (Preview) I know it is a choice and I don't want to feel guilty - I think it is the hardest emotion for me to control. My AH has offered up what he feels he can do to save the marriage. I have been through this before and of course, I don't have faith. Nor, does it change how I feel about him or our marriage. I didn't ask him t...	Dini	4	658	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	Trusting your higher power (Preview) Please help me work through this. I have a very deep spiritual base in my life. I have always communicated with my HP on a regular basis as my best friend, confidant and advisor. My Alcoholic Ex left me three weeks ago and I am having a very hard time now questioning how a higher power who loves me would take...	jasobel	11	985	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	Baby steps.......... (Preview) I realized today that the mental and physical exhaustion, coupled with weight gain due to medical issues is slowly taking huge toll, and I am sliding quickly into depression. Fears and worry about what if's regarding my pending surgery are creeping in more often than I can count lately. I am trying t...	shellyj123	3	635	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	I've fallen...how do I get up? Reconnecting with HP (Preview) I've fallen from my program and I'm having a hard time getting back on. In working the steps I realized that admitting was first, then believing was next. I saw quickly that for me, without being able to believe in an HP that I could not do this "on my own". For a while I was feeling good about m...	Rora	6	785	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	This board (Preview) I came to the board earlier feeling lonely and depressed lots of negative thinking and self pity. I ready quite a few posts before I decided to post thankfully. GUESS What my mood had changed I didnt feel alone or depressed anymore. just want to say thanks to you all I know you all get as much as I do from A...	Tracy	4	732	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	timeout from me (Preview) Today I took a time out from my own troubles.I mean really what good am I doing wallowing in self pity.Maybe ,I'm not sure what I need to do right now this moment in my own life.I started looking around.No more tears atleast for today.Maybe if I could bring a smile to someone elses face I might just find a sm...	cassidy2010	4	620	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	Would like an alanon perspective please (Preview) I've been an alanon member for about 6 years now. When I started I was married to an active abusive alcoholic, and we divorced. I began working on myself and found myself quite serene most days. I began a relationship with a terrific normal man who was everything I wanted in a partner. He moved in with me a...	grateful	7	1033	Nov 21, 2009 by maresie
	my own part (Preview) I would like to spend the next hundred years taking the inventory of the ex A. What I've learned recently from watching other people engaging in the madness of trying to squeeze something out of an alcoholic is that I had my part. One sure thing is the more impossible the relationship was, the higher t...	maresie	5	1493	Nov 21, 2009 by maresie
	The ticking time bomb (Preview) That is what I feel my A boyfriend of 7 yrs is right now. He grew up in a family that didn't discuss how they felt and this is how he is now, the time bomb part is that last year he lost his mom to lung cancer and I also lost my dad to lung cancer. Both times he does what the A does to make them selves feel better (or...	Holly09	1	722	Nov 21, 2009 by Debilyn
	Conflict of Interest? (Preview) Anyone know anything about lawyer stuff??? The company my AH works for is a small company that is owned by two guys that are also his buddies. They both have issues as well, with alcohol and drugs problems. Anyway, the one owner, Jason, he's getting a divorce from his wife. Well...his wife owns a porti...	sdisnie	6	806	Nov 21, 2009 by Debilyn
	A bit annoyed (Preview) I am a bit annoyed today because last night my husband drove another A to catch the train. I t wasn't so much that he took the guy(well.. a little) but that it was all of a sudden sort of & it was a 2 hour trip one way plus he left late enough that I was thinking about going to bed early--long story short: I...	Hoot Nanny	1	674	Nov 20, 2009 by nmike
	New here (Preview) Well, I'm not sure where to start.Don't know if I am even in the right place.Truthfully I am kinda scared to be on here because I am afraid my husband will read this.I worry because he has already had friends hack several of my accounts but I need to talk to someone because sitting here crying isn't help...	cassidy2010	15	754	Nov 20, 2009 by supermom
	Starting Alanon - is it always this hard (Preview) This has been my first week in alanon - thank God for this onilne group. I can't get to many group meetings because I am a single mom but I do go once a week - need to go more. Is it overwhelming at first? All of the emotions that surface from hearing others tell their story - all of the realizations of how this d...	jasobel	12	1413	Nov 20, 2009 by wp
	frustrated but thankful (Preview) i have been reading others post here for a little while now but this is my first post. i am thankful for the availability of this online. sometimes i would come on & read stuff while my bf was snoring in a drunkin stupor next to me and it defintly helped! im frustrated not with him, but with myself. i...	c_k_71	1	737	Nov 20, 2009 by Debilyn
	Better but still concerned. (Preview) My husband is better now. He hasn't quit drinking and I'm hoping that he knows that the last time I just about had it with him. He cut down some on his drinking, but I'm not putting my head in the sand because he still drinks and still acts like a jerk. He blew up at me a couple of times and instead of defend...	dori711	2	765	Nov 20, 2009 by angelchar375
	Feeling Gulity About Detachment.... (Preview) My addicted son is now 29 years old, I have been dealing with him for the last ten years, and I have now come to a place in the relationship that I have detached. I don't cry and beg anymore, I don't try to run after him and try to keep up with who and what he is getting into. I know I am better off for it, but here...	DreamsOver	5	1037	Nov 19, 2009 by justducky
	I don't get it.... :( Why does my AH always seem to win? (Preview) I had my first initial status conference today with my AH...I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but I was thinking that he wouldn't get real parenting time with his 16 year long history of documented drinking and drug use. That really didn't get brought up today, and our temporary orders hearing is...	sdisnie	7	743	Nov 19, 2009 by serendipity
	Trying so very hard to stay in the now...ESH needed (Preview) Things in my life seem to have settled somewhat and for that I am grateful. I however am and have been struggling with worry and letting go and trying to just live in THIS day. I know all the reasons I should and I know that I should but it is just hard to do right now. I am having to have surgery the week before...	shellyj123	4	1250	Nov 19, 2009 by nmike
	You Gotta Love Our Judicial System (Preview) My husband's DUI sentencing was today and by all accounts, he should be in jail right now. Unfortunately, thanks to his lawyer and that stupid judge, his sentencing has been postponed a (2nd time) until JANUARY 12!!!!!! I was really looking forward to him not being here for Christmas. He has mana...	N8SMOM	3	1153	Nov 19, 2009 by cassidy2010
	The damage done by living with an A (Preview) My AH have been apart for a year. I am just now seeing how I have been damaged by living with an A for so long. Someone here posted a while ago an acronym for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. That really stuck with me and I see that I am enmeshed with fear. While living with my A he would go through bouts of c...	babysteps	2	1131	Nov 19, 2009 by sdisnie
	New here... I'm just looking for some advise.... (Preview) Hi - I'm new here... I've been reading some posts and just registered myself today. My husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years but we've been together for 12 years and friends for about 20 yrs or so.... So here goes - I'm going to give a little description... For years my husband has had some s...	Desperate_2275	10	700	Nov 18, 2009 by xeno59
	It's so hard to be civil (Preview) My husband is acting like a total jerk these days. We had a huge blow-up yesterday morning (mostly about him getting drunk and "checking out" on us). Of course his usual response to that is that he checks out on me, not our son. Then he ended up spending the ENTIRE day in the guest room (from...	N8SMOM	6	1015	Nov 18, 2009 by Baffled
	Sometimes I have doubt (Preview) Sometimes I have doubt that my soon to be ex AH has a problem. When I look through my journal, and back at our lives together (20 years together) and I remember all those binges he went on, the four times he was in rehab, the many many hospital visits, I know he has a problem. But then he'll be able to contro...	sdisnie	5	1061	Nov 18, 2009 by Dini
	How to respond? (Preview) AH called me and asked if it was ok for him to go out for drinks with his coworkers after work today. What is a good response to this? He has been to two AA meetings, but that was three weeks ago. He is now trying to control it on his own again, hoping he can be a social drinker. I know that's not possible, but I...	cdngirl	3	832	Nov 18, 2009 by cdngirl
	really need ESH (Preview) My ABF had a slip after 6 months last weekend. He has really worked the programme and could not have tried harder then bang hes gone again. I ended this relationship in March and he ent into AA all my hope returned so we got back together as he wastrying to get better. But today I am on my knees I ca not fight...	Tracy	3	731	Nov 18, 2009 by DreamXL
	new to helping me.. (Preview) hi.. I say new to helping me because, I'm just starting to realize how much I have been protecting this wonderful family secret.. It started when I was born.. I don't remember much from my earlier years, but I know that I always kept it quiet, my parents just didn't feel well. my dads job was stressful...	serching-sandy	5	677	Nov 18, 2009 by DreamXL
	I could just scream (Preview) My A son came out of a 28 day rehab and drank , I think, the following day. His insurance from his job, which he didn't return to, expired 10/31. He made sure to go to his therapist who prescribes his antidepressant on 10/28 so to be sure he had more refills before his insurance ran out. He just calls me this m...	Gailey	6	892	Nov 17, 2009 by alanonicScotland
	MY DAD'S POEM! (Preview) My dad recently sent all those he loves a special poem about God. I didn't know that he liked to write poetry. It really moved me. I love my dad very much. He lives about 900 miles away from me. Anyhow, I just wanted to share that with you all. I won't post the poem at this time but I just wanted to let you know t...	Hoot Nanny	0	601	Nov 17, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Family Photos (Preview) ((((Family))), Here's an old photo of Tim & I taken 20 years ago at the university. I should be that thin today. The other 2 are Pipers playing Sorry last night w/my niece and I. Pipers didn't win, but she did take control of the board! Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty	Karilynn	4	824	Nov 17, 2009 by carolinagirl
	New here and needin to vent... (Preview) Im new here. Kinda unsure of what to think yet, but I am really in need of a place to vent where people can understand what I am going threw and to hear stories of what others are going threw as well. Im at my wits end with my husband. And although we have been threw SO MUCH DRAMA this year regarding his drinkin...	Hangin-On	7	859	Nov 17, 2009 by jasobel
	Scared and praying.... (Preview) It's my oldest sons 19th birthday today...I'm so proud of the man he's become and I love him and all my kids with all my heart. They are my life, I would do anything for them. Today I got an email from an atty that my AH obtained today, it was a pretty nasty email, that made me break down and cry. I was shock...	sdisnie	6	854	Nov 17, 2009 by abbyal
	NOW I'm scared. (Preview) For weeks I have been saying that I'm looking forward to my husband going to jail - I've been so mad at him for drinking after rehab, I just wanted him away so he wouldn't ruin my Christmas. Yesterday I was in a traffic accident and it really shook me. It has brought out a fear in me - a fear of being alone. M...	N8SMOM	5	847	Nov 16, 2009 by Rocky38
	There is getting it, then there is getting it...then there is really getting it (Preview) Hello, I am your disease I Hate meetings...I Hate higher powers...I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. I Am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's Me. I have killed mill...	DreamXL	4	999	Nov 16, 2009 by DreamXL
	When coming to work is a relief.... (Preview) Sometimes I honestly think that work is my safe place, the place where I can go and do what I need to....X Y Z and that is it. I know what is expected of me, what dates it needs done and who to go to when I need help. It's the simplest part of my life some days......not lately, but some days. The weekend starte...	shellyj123	3	936	Nov 16, 2009 by masspedirn
	Out of my Head... (Preview) Ok... This weekend was one of those roller Coasters I have been attemping to avoid here of late... I just need to get it out of my head...ESH would be a wonderful gift on times like this for me... :) Friday 13th was the best of it all :) I went to ol' Home f2f Meeting, it was a full house we were smooched there w...	Jozie	4	959	Nov 16, 2009 by hotrod
	When did you start "getting it?" (Preview) (Feeling in a reflective mood tonight, so this is a re-post of one I posted in 2006.... still very applicable today...) Just thinking about a couple of "aha" moments in my recovery, kind of 'lines in the sand' that are memories, and perhaps stepping stones for me finally "getting it...	canadianguy	9	1134	Nov 16, 2009 by shellyj123
	5 years ago today (Preview) Hi Alanoners, 5 years ago today my AHsober of 30 years said that he wanted a divorce. He said that he didn't love me, that he wasn't happy, and that the purpose of life was happiness. He said that he will always be an addict and he was tired trying to get better and working on our relationship. I of course w...	nmike	4	855	Nov 16, 2009 by Tracy
	COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS (Preview) Funny story...BIL is at the Sheraton in downtown Nashville last night for work. Not being into country music he is wondering why everyone is walking around in a tux. On the elevator with 2 guys he ask what is going on. The one guy replied it is the CMA tonight. BIL says "who are you...I will look for y...	Gailey	8	887	Nov 16, 2009 by Karilynn
	Asking for prayers (Preview) Grateful member of alanon here My son is an addict. Technically homeless but sitting in jail at the moment for violating probation by using drugs. I turned him in. He had been to rehab ( court ordered) but released after 5 weeks as it is a county run program and basically they needed the bed. My son pleade...	xeno59	5	1429	Nov 16, 2009 by DreamXL
	Reading old posts.... (Preview) Wow....I just read some of my old posts from 4 years ago! It took me right back to how I felt then dealing with the craziness of my AH and what he was doing to our family..... I look back now and reflect over all the years with him and all the ways his drinking has affected me and how I let it continue to affect m...	sdisnie	3	819	Nov 16, 2009 by whitie
	feel good thanks to al anon (Preview) Well my ABF is still missing and I have through myself into my programme, meetings, phone calls to sponsor, reading, talking to Hp and guess what I m back. I know it is not personal, I know he will be devastated once he comes round but back to me I have supported him for 4 and a half years HOW IS THIS WORKING FO...	Tracy	3	680	Nov 15, 2009 by hotrod
	The Saga of the Christmas Lights Continues (for those who are interested) (Preview) It's so funny, I just have to laugh (or I'd go insane). As I left with my son and mom today, my husband was all set to start on the Christmas lights (11:00 a.m.). As we drove away, we noticed the house on the corner was being decorated with Christmas lights too. We came home around 2:00 to check on the progr...	N8SMOM	13	988	Nov 15, 2009 by drucilla06
	Xmas.....bad trigger for me. (Preview) I adored Xmas......loved to make it cosy, happy, and fun....it wasnt ever about stuff it was about magic My 2 kids grew into big adult Xmas lovers.....we always kept the magic going. Xmas of 2004 was the year we realised our son was no longer in control of his drinking or indeed his life. November of th...	Ness	5	1027	Nov 15, 2009 by maresie
	Letting go Today (Preview) I went with a couple friends to this really great new church that people around my area have been raving about recently. Now I know why, the message that they give is so incredible and feels so much like an alanon meeting!! It was like he was speaking directly to me....talking about relationships and...	sdisnie	1	556	Nov 15, 2009 by jasobel
	Popping By For A Recharge {lol} xxx (Preview) Hi Folks It's funny how at times you think your life is moving on yet you still live with the thoughts and feelings from your past. I can see there are a few still on the site from a time where i participated on MIP. To cut a long story short this is where i'm at today. I'm now 38 years old and still single. I work...	ally	4	659	Nov 15, 2009 by ally
	WHEN TO STAY AND WHEN TO LEAVE???? (Preview) I WANT SO BADLY JUST TO PACK UP MY THINGS AND LEAVE!!!!! I KNOW ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE AND RIGHT NOW IM JUST ANGRY. IM ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR LETTING THIS GO SO LONG AND HOPING IT WOULD ALL BE OK.... MY ABF WENT TO REHAB THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH , WAS SOBER FOR 6 OR 7 DAYS AFTER RETURNING HOME... WENT BACK TO DET...	layneee	7	835	Nov 14, 2009 by whitie
	Just want to say? (Preview) To each and everyone of you that contributes to this forum, I am truly greatful, I belive in a higher power but as yet do not pray regularly, I have done though when my life has brought me to my knees, and always something somewhere has thrown me a life line, I am humbled by each and every one of you that comes...	Katy	3	788	Nov 14, 2009 by sdisnie
	God's Grace is Enough!! (Preview) Hello Everyone, Last weekend I went to a wedding. My Deceased Uncle's Girlfriend was there. He was an A. Everyone was so surprised how fantastic and happy she looked. She is obviously taking care of herself. Her and I were talking, she told me how fantastic and happy I look myself. She didn't kno...	Sincerely	3	583	Nov 14, 2009 by nmike
	OMG AH getting nearer (Preview) What a shock. There I was thinking he was tucked away on his caribbean island with his argentinian pole dancer (although his nephew had told me it was on the rocks I treated it as heresay). Anyway, hes been emailing old work colleagues/friends asking if there is any work back here. OMG what on earth woul...	Lilly Burn	5	1183	Nov 14, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	Threats...... (Preview) My addict son called a little while ago and I picked the phone up, he wants money for cigarettes, I told him no. He made a veiled threat of hurting himself if he didn't get some help from me, and that I was the reason he takes drugs. I told him that was his decision to live the way he wanted to, but I shouldn't b...	DreamsOver	6	751	Nov 14, 2009 by abbyal
	Self blame - what do you do when you get caught in that nasty cycle? (Preview) Can others share what you do when you start blaming yourself for another's drinking behavior? What step mainly focuses on this? I find myself at times caught in the cycle of saying "what if I had done xxx differently?" instead of focusing on the alcoholic and their inability to communicat...	jasobel	12	1408	Nov 13, 2009 by canadianguy
	Passages Malibu (Preview) My fiance has been to Hazelden, and has relapsed. He is now going to go to Passages in Malibu in two days. Does anyone know anything about this treatment center? I want him to get help, but my research has led me to believe that Passages is not a good treatment center. Does anyone know anything about i...	mermaid88	3	3669	Nov 13, 2009 by canadianguy
	Husband May be Heading to Jail (Preview) My husband got a call from his attorney yesterday and there's a good chance he'll be heading to jail for 45 days right after his sentencing on November 17. My husband was under the impression that his attorney would be stretching this out another couple months, but from the looks of things, that's no...	N8SMOM	10	1256	Nov 13, 2009 by hotrod
	A twist on detachment (Preview) It says in the closing of our meetings "If you keep and open mind you will find help." I had my mind open this evening and heard the tool "Detachment" and the slogan "Let go and let God" and the very same time. Detachment...getting out of HPs way. I like it!! Tonigh...	Jerry F	8	2268	Nov 13, 2009 by RLC
	Thank you & update (Preview) Thank you to all for your prayers, support and concern. I wish you were all here. Because my surgery is being paid for by Medi-Cal, there is a bit of a hold up with scheduling the surgery. Apparently there is some sort of approval needed before the doctor can proceed. As soon as I know the date I will be ce...	Hawk120025	2	830	Nov 13, 2009 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.