Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, 5 years ago today my AHsober of 30 years said that he wanted a divorce. He said that he didn't love me, that he wasn't happy, and that the purpose of life was happiness. He said that he will always be an addict and he was tired trying to get better and working on our relationship. I of course w...

Gailey · Gailey

Funny story...BIL is at the Sheraton in downtown Nashville last night for work. Not being into country music he is wondering why everyone is walking around in a tux. On the elevator with 2 guys he ask what is going on. The one guy replied it is the CMA tonight. BIL says "who are you...I will look for y...

xeno59 · xeno59

Grateful member of alanon here My son is an addict. Technically homeless but sitting in jail at the moment for violating probation by using drugs. I turned him in. He had been to rehab ( court ordered) but released after 5 weeks as it is a county run program and basically they needed the bed. My son pleade...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Wow....I just read some of my old posts from 4 years ago! It took me right back to how I felt then dealing with the craziness of my AH and what he was doing to our family..... I look back now and reflect over all the years with him and all the ways his drinking has affected me and how I let it continue to affect m...

Tracy · Tracy

Well my ABF is still missing and I have through myself into my programme, meetings, phone calls to sponsor, reading, talking to Hp and guess what I m back. I know it is not personal, I know he will be devastated once he comes round but back to me I have supported him for 4 and a half years HOW IS THIS WORKING FO...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

It's so funny, I just have to laugh (or I'd go insane). As I left with my son and mom today, my husband was all set to start on the Christmas lights (11:00 a.m.). As we drove away, we noticed the house on the corner was being decorated with Christmas lights too. We came home around 2:00 to check on the progr...

Ness · Ness

I adored Xmas......loved to make it cosy, happy, and fun....it wasnt ever about stuff it was about magic My 2 kids grew into big adult Xmas lovers.....we always kept the magic going. Xmas of 2004 was the year we realised our son was no longer in control of his drinking or indeed his life. November of th...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I went with a couple friends to this really great new church that people around my area have been raving about recently. Now I know why, the message that they give is so incredible and feels so much like an alanon meeting!! It was like he was speaking directly to me....talking about relationships and...

ally · ally

Hi Folks It's funny how at times you think your life is moving on yet you still live with the thoughts and feelings from your past. I can see there are a few still on the site from a time where i participated on MIP. To cut a long story short this is where i'm at today. I'm now 38 years old and still single. I work...

layneee · layneee

I WANT SO BADLY JUST TO PACK UP MY THINGS AND LEAVE!!!!! I KNOW ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE AND RIGHT NOW IM JUST ANGRY. IM ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR LETTING THIS GO SO LONG AND HOPING IT WOULD ALL BE OK.... MY ABF WENT TO REHAB THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH , WAS SOBER FOR 6 OR 7 DAYS AFTER RETURNING HOME... WENT BACK TO DET...

Katy · Katy

To each and everyone of you that contributes to this forum, I am truly greatful, I belive in a higher power but as yet do not pray regularly, I have done though when my life has brought me to my knees, and always something somewhere has thrown me a life line, I am humbled by each and every one of you that comes...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Everyone, Last weekend I went to a wedding. My Deceased Uncle's Girlfriend was there. He was an A. Everyone was so surprised how fantastic and happy she looked. She is obviously taking care of herself. Her and I were talking, she told me how fantastic and happy I look myself. She didn't kno...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

What a shock. There I was thinking he was tucked away on his caribbean island with his argentinian pole dancer (although his nephew had told me it was on the rocks I treated it as heresay). Anyway, hes been emailing old work colleagues/friends asking if there is any work back here. OMG what on earth woul...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My addict son called a little while ago and I picked the phone up, he wants money for cigarettes, I told him no. He made a veiled threat of hurting himself if he didn't get some help from me, and that I was the reason he takes drugs. I told him that was his decision to live the way he wanted to, but I shouldn't b...

jasobel · jasobel

Can others share what you do when you start blaming yourself for another's drinking behavior? What step mainly focuses on this? I find myself at times caught in the cycle of saying "what if I had done xxx differently?" instead of focusing on the alcoholic and their inability to communicat...

mermaid88 · mermaid88

My fiance has been to Hazelden, and has relapsed. He is now going to go to Passages in Malibu in two days. Does anyone know anything about this treatment center? I want him to get help, but my research has led me to believe that Passages is not a good treatment center. Does anyone know anything about i...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband got a call from his attorney yesterday and there's a good chance he'll be heading to jail for 45 days right after his sentencing on November 17. My husband was under the impression that his attorney would be stretching this out another couple months, but from the looks of things, that's no...

Jerry F · Jerry F

It says in the closing of our meetings "If you keep and open mind you will find help." I had my mind open this evening and heard the tool "Detachment" and the slogan "Let go and let God" and the very same time. Detachment...getting out of HPs way. I like it!! Tonigh...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

Thank you to all for your prayers, support and concern. I wish you were all here. Because my surgery is being paid for by Medi-Cal, there is a bit of a hold up with scheduling the surgery. Apparently there is some sort of approval needed before the doctor can proceed. As soon as I know the date I will be ce...

sdisnie · sdisnie

My AH and I are going through a divorce...he's living an hour away with his girlfriend, he's a severe binge drinker, over the past 16 years, he's been in rehab 4 times, and the hospital so many times I'm not even sure of, he was just in the hospital due to binging twice in August and once in Oct of this year a...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Everyone, Approaching 3 months of seperation from my A I am noticing much progress in my life. At frist, I had kept telling myself, SAFETY GLASSES this time around instead of ROSE COLORED glasses. I was being cautious. Well, this morning while enjoying my coffee outside on my patio alone, i no...

sad4life · sad4life

I'm having a real problem trying not to let my hurt and anger towards my ex affect our 5 year old son. My ex left without any explanation and having been supported both emotionally and financially by me for years suddenly decided to end our relationship. He has finally got a job, his first aged 50, an...

Katy · Katy

When ever hubby and I have fall out it comes down to, in his eyes, to who's right and who's wrong, I feel like I always do one of two things here really, I spend half my life defending myself and the other half trying to explain my reasoning, he calls me Mary Poppins, perefct in every way, I am trying to learn h...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I am so grateful for the encouragement, and the deeply personal situations you chose to share with me because of my own fears for my addicted son. I am just hanging on and thanks for throwing me a rope. God Bless

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Yesterday I posted here and got much ESH from all of you. Those of you who know me know what a HUGE door myspace was for me in my past relationship with EXABF and it also caused problems with the new man I was/am dating-(not sure yet about that). But the same issues were arising and I believe this new man's...

Ness · Ness

I've just watched a programme on BBC tv called 'Brought up by booze' it's a brilliant programme that's been made as part of the huge BBC Children in Need fundraiser that they have every November here in the UK. I've watched this event for years and never have I seen Aism addressed. This programme I'...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF had a slip after 6 monyhs he has licked his has lost his job etc etc. He has bee to three meetings intwo days and is chatting with his sponsor. he rang and asked me to drop off bits and bobs. i am angrey it is like tracy will be there again, tracy will understand. When he was sober he went to chat to ex...

Jozie · Jozie

Hoe Hummm... I was Speakin with a Friend of my Mothers, and got to thinkin about alot of things...When I sit and look at the big picture of "MY" family...I can't see but "1" Chain in it that wasn't takin over by Alcohol... And the closer I look to my back round the more I find... MORE A...

oldbat · oldbat

I am new {very} to the net though not to al-anon. Pointers please?

sdisnie · sdisnie

I've been with my husband for 20 years..married for 17 this past Sept. We have been together since High School. I watched him progress into a terrible binge drinker over the years. How I lived through it all I truly don't know. I recall hundreds or more times I would hide in my closet and cry and pray t...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I have some trouble sleeping at night lately. I either can't get my mind to stop or I just lay there and stare the ceiling and pet Lily. I don't always feel like going into chat all the time sometimes I am not in the right head space or whatever. So........since my HP has been teaching me about the po...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

My husband is having the occasional beer after almost six months clean. He's been an addict since he's 12, he's 32 now. He went to rehab on April after a 5 day binge, he just got up and decided to go to rehab. His counselor has told me his chances of recovery are small due to his job, his many years of addictio...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi my ABF has had a slip after 6 months he was doing so well and had amazed me with his strenghth. His nephew died 2 weeks ago aged 5months ild my ABF supported his sister arranged the funeral and was the backbone for the family. I went away at the weekend to do work on my resentments with moretolife. His g...

Ambercastaway · Ambercastaway

Hi there, What is the etiquette when an extended family member brings a sig other who abuses alcohol to a holiday meal where alcohol will be served? My daughter's husband's brother's gf has a problem with alcohol abuse (and we think pills, too) and they are coming over for Christmas dinner. We're havi...

chloe0724 · chloe0724

My Husband has said he has stopped drinking for over a month now. He is not attending meetings, just doing it on his own. I have so many trust issues... I think he smells like beer so often and I accuse him of drinking, and he says he hasn't. I know in my head that this is counter productive, but I can't sto...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), It is Veterans Day here in the US. To all of those who have served I thank you. To all of those who have gone before, we honor and remember you. To all of those who are serving and their families: thank you for your dedication and sacrifice. Come home safe to us. My father was a vet, hu...

smartkat · smartkat

One of my neices has been acting out in school so they took her to the councelor's office. Apparently she told some stuff about the household because CPS was called out a few days later. All the kids and the parents were brought to one of the schools, apparently to be interviewed and maybe to be examine...

babysteps · babysteps

Hi all - I read often but comment rarely. I have been on the board for several years through AH's rehab in '05, immediate relapse, chronic drinking. I asked him to leave last December and he moved out 12/26. In the entire time we were together (12.5 yrs) he was never sober for more than 2.5 months (which he...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, I knew this program was going to change my life...and I knew that it was going to change me...but wow last night I didn't even recognize myself. Earlier last week a couple girls I work with asked if I wanted to go out Saturday night. I said thanks but no thanks. One of them just wouldn't let it go s...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, Here is the spaghetti sauce story. Ok so the night that I had my run in with the spider I was making spaghetti for dinner. It is a family fav and really easy to make. I make my sauce from scratch...so my first thought was that most spaghetti has the same base...a tomato base. The base is like the t...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Spent as much time as I could this past weekend as my health and family issues would allow, at the AlAnon conference. I prayed for strength when I was on the way there to do the next right thing and asked for help to just let go of the EXABF and all the trama there and just move past it. Please God I prayed ju...

Jozie · Jozie

One of the speakers for the AA group at the conferance was talkin about her up bringing, and many things echoed in my head how it was when my parents were still together, they divorced when I was 9... But the last couple years before the leave, were things you just don't for get... She had mentioned about...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

I could relate when I read Andrea's post a while ago. Hello, God, want to cut me some slack here? I'm not sure I can take much more. Lost my job in January. Had to file bankruptcy as a result. Was cleared of ovarian cancer in February after a year of treatment. Was recently diagnosed with breast cance...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I have not taken a phone call from my AS for a week now, and I'm now having a very hard time not picking the phone up when he calls me. He is now getting angry when he leaves a voice mail, I can hear it in his voice, I am worried as to how he might react to my not letting him have money, or giving him gas, etc. I am begi...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family. I've been noticing lately that there have been many posts on the reasons to leave and the reasons to stay. I'd love to hear more members ESH on this. Why did you stay and what was the outcome for you?

debhud · debhud

i usually don't say anything to my dh about his using. i figure it is his stuff and not my business. my son-in-law works for him and made the comment to daughter that everyone in his business uses. (he doesn't) he complained of a toothache and was told to ask dh for some vicodin. when dh came home from w...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... I Lived and Survived thru my 1st "al-anon/AA" Confrence.... WOW...WOW...WOW... Had someone told me how exausting it was goin to be, I don't know that I would have signed up... So I am VERY grateful... NO ONE DID... :) I got some much from it, and met such wonderful people, both in al-...

Temple · Temple

I've been reading a work by Vernon Howard, a spiritual teacher. I just found this quote: Permitting your life to be taken over by another person is like letting the waiter eat your dinner. Blessings, Temple

Overcome · Overcome

I was reading today's reading (Nov. 9) in Courage to Change and it talked about manipulation. This reading had to do with the type of manipulation that we learn from living with alcoholics and the day to day life that kind of life changes us into. It states that, "Alcoholism can create such a thr...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Has anyone else felt battered by well-meaning advice from others that the only way to survive an alcoholic partner is to up and leave? And do you feel, like me, you have loved this person for so long that now things have turned upside down (to put it politely) you cannot just walk out on what is a very sick p...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My part is the program and the giving away what I have learned since I got here which has worked miracles in my life and in the lives of others. I have never seen anything as powerful against the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction as the spiritual 12 steps and traditions of AA and Al-Anon. I've be...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

Hi all, During a recent visit to my therapist, we talked a lot about setting and keeping boundaries with my addict boyfriend. My problem is this: during the summer, I set a boundary that I believed I could stick to - that if my boyfriend used again, I would leave until he was clean. He was terrified of my le...

john boy · john boy

Haven't talk to my ex wife in a week , haven't slept much , had deleted her from one of my email acc. , but this morning , added her back but didn't send a invite mybe she send me one , I miss talking to her , today is going to be a hard day , but I hope I will get through it , beginnig of a new week , as she has been my best...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

HI all, I was reading some of my old post and came across this one I am reposting. It really fits where I am right now and even stranger I had spaghetti tonight for dinner (that will make more sense after you read the post I promise ). Here it is: Hi all, I was sitting here typing this morning and I saw a movemen...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am alive & well! Sometimes I don't feel particularly alive or well! Today I can actually say I am feeling pretty good. Had a long weekend but was able to keep in touch with my alanon friends. I am so grateful for them. My husband & I are getting along pretty well. He is trying so hard to put up w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

1. I have lost 40 lbs since my ex bf and I broke up three months ago! WOOO HOOO!! 2. (Thanks for this shelly) my ex bf has totally shut me out of any kind of communication for many weeks now and it really pisses me off and I just realized today how the A feels when we shut them off. I'm angry with him for treat...

db55 · db55

Relationships are work and hard work at that. Relationships with alcoholics are even harder! My husband is an alcoholic and has been going to AA for over 20 years. Currently he has 9 months of sobriety (I think, I posted it a while ago -- he knows to the day). But marriage is work -- often a roller coas...

akristab · akristab

Just want say how thankful I am to MIP and all of the members for sharing and making this such a wonderful, supportive and safe place to come. Happy 11th Birthday, MIP Al-Anon Group! -- Edited by akristab on Sunday 8th of November 2009 04:52:28 PM -- Edited by akristab on Sunday 8th of November 2009 04:53...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I have been driving myself crazy for almost a week now wondering if my husband has been sneaking drinks since coming home from his 30-day in-patient treatment facility. Well today I got my answer and I didn't even have to snoop. It's his birthday and we used to have a tradition of having Birthday Mimos...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I am trying to cut off my financial support for my AS, I have tried and tried to help him get on his feet, but I have just enabled him. He has been ringing my phone since 11:00 AM today every ten minutes ( I am not answering it), and my nerves are frayed. I want to pull my hair out. Thanks for letting me vent.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	5 years ago today (Preview) Hi Alanoners, 5 years ago today my AHsober of 30 years said that he wanted a divorce. He said that he didn't love me, that he wasn't happy, and that the purpose of life was happiness. He said that he will always be an addict and he was tired trying to get better and working on our relationship. I of course w...	nmike	4	746	Nov 16, 2009 by Tracy
	COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS (Preview) Funny story...BIL is at the Sheraton in downtown Nashville last night for work. Not being into country music he is wondering why everyone is walking around in a tux. On the elevator with 2 guys he ask what is going on. The one guy replied it is the CMA tonight. BIL says "who are you...I will look for y...	Gailey	8	811	Nov 16, 2009 by Karilynn
	Asking for prayers (Preview) Grateful member of alanon here My son is an addict. Technically homeless but sitting in jail at the moment for violating probation by using drugs. I turned him in. He had been to rehab ( court ordered) but released after 5 weeks as it is a county run program and basically they needed the bed. My son pleade...	xeno59	5	1345	Nov 16, 2009 by DreamXL
	Reading old posts.... (Preview) Wow....I just read some of my old posts from 4 years ago! It took me right back to how I felt then dealing with the craziness of my AH and what he was doing to our family..... I look back now and reflect over all the years with him and all the ways his drinking has affected me and how I let it continue to affect m...	sdisnie	3	736	Nov 16, 2009 by whitie
	feel good thanks to al anon (Preview) Well my ABF is still missing and I have through myself into my programme, meetings, phone calls to sponsor, reading, talking to Hp and guess what I m back. I know it is not personal, I know he will be devastated once he comes round but back to me I have supported him for 4 and a half years HOW IS THIS WORKING FO...	Tracy	3	601	Nov 15, 2009 by hotrod
	The Saga of the Christmas Lights Continues (for those who are interested) (Preview) It's so funny, I just have to laugh (or I'd go insane). As I left with my son and mom today, my husband was all set to start on the Christmas lights (11:00 a.m.). As we drove away, we noticed the house on the corner was being decorated with Christmas lights too. We came home around 2:00 to check on the progr...	N8SMOM	13	907	Nov 15, 2009 by drucilla06
	Xmas.....bad trigger for me. (Preview) I adored Xmas......loved to make it cosy, happy, and fun....it wasnt ever about stuff it was about magic My 2 kids grew into big adult Xmas lovers.....we always kept the magic going. Xmas of 2004 was the year we realised our son was no longer in control of his drinking or indeed his life. November of th...	Ness	5	963	Nov 15, 2009 by maresie
	Letting go Today (Preview) I went with a couple friends to this really great new church that people around my area have been raving about recently. Now I know why, the message that they give is so incredible and feels so much like an alanon meeting!! It was like he was speaking directly to me....talking about relationships and...	sdisnie	1	480	Nov 15, 2009 by jasobel
	Popping By For A Recharge {lol} xxx (Preview) Hi Folks It's funny how at times you think your life is moving on yet you still live with the thoughts and feelings from your past. I can see there are a few still on the site from a time where i participated on MIP. To cut a long story short this is where i'm at today. I'm now 38 years old and still single. I work...	ally	4	570	Nov 15, 2009 by ally
	WHEN TO STAY AND WHEN TO LEAVE???? (Preview) I WANT SO BADLY JUST TO PACK UP MY THINGS AND LEAVE!!!!! I KNOW ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE AND RIGHT NOW IM JUST ANGRY. IM ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR LETTING THIS GO SO LONG AND HOPING IT WOULD ALL BE OK.... MY ABF WENT TO REHAB THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH , WAS SOBER FOR 6 OR 7 DAYS AFTER RETURNING HOME... WENT BACK TO DET...	layneee	7	757	Nov 14, 2009 by whitie
	Just want to say? (Preview) To each and everyone of you that contributes to this forum, I am truly greatful, I belive in a higher power but as yet do not pray regularly, I have done though when my life has brought me to my knees, and always something somewhere has thrown me a life line, I am humbled by each and every one of you that comes...	Katy	3	705	Nov 14, 2009 by sdisnie
	God's Grace is Enough!! (Preview) Hello Everyone, Last weekend I went to a wedding. My Deceased Uncle's Girlfriend was there. He was an A. Everyone was so surprised how fantastic and happy she looked. She is obviously taking care of herself. Her and I were talking, she told me how fantastic and happy I look myself. She didn't kno...	Sincerely	3	510	Nov 14, 2009 by nmike
	OMG AH getting nearer (Preview) What a shock. There I was thinking he was tucked away on his caribbean island with his argentinian pole dancer (although his nephew had told me it was on the rocks I treated it as heresay). Anyway, hes been emailing old work colleagues/friends asking if there is any work back here. OMG what on earth woul...	Lilly Burn	5	1067	Nov 14, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	Threats...... (Preview) My addict son called a little while ago and I picked the phone up, he wants money for cigarettes, I told him no. He made a veiled threat of hurting himself if he didn't get some help from me, and that I was the reason he takes drugs. I told him that was his decision to live the way he wanted to, but I shouldn't b...	DreamsOver	6	667	Nov 14, 2009 by abbyal
	Self blame - what do you do when you get caught in that nasty cycle? (Preview) Can others share what you do when you start blaming yourself for another's drinking behavior? What step mainly focuses on this? I find myself at times caught in the cycle of saying "what if I had done xxx differently?" instead of focusing on the alcoholic and their inability to communicat...	jasobel	12	1326	Nov 13, 2009 by canadianguy
	Passages Malibu (Preview) My fiance has been to Hazelden, and has relapsed. He is now going to go to Passages in Malibu in two days. Does anyone know anything about this treatment center? I want him to get help, but my research has led me to believe that Passages is not a good treatment center. Does anyone know anything about i...	mermaid88	3	3331	Nov 13, 2009 by canadianguy
	Husband May be Heading to Jail (Preview) My husband got a call from his attorney yesterday and there's a good chance he'll be heading to jail for 45 days right after his sentencing on November 17. My husband was under the impression that his attorney would be stretching this out another couple months, but from the looks of things, that's no...	N8SMOM	10	1182	Nov 13, 2009 by hotrod
	A twist on detachment (Preview) It says in the closing of our meetings "If you keep and open mind you will find help." I had my mind open this evening and heard the tool "Detachment" and the slogan "Let go and let God" and the very same time. Detachment...getting out of HPs way. I like it!! Tonigh...	Jerry F	8	2177	Nov 13, 2009 by RLC
	Thank you & update (Preview) Thank you to all for your prayers, support and concern. I wish you were all here. Because my surgery is being paid for by Medi-Cal, there is a bit of a hold up with scheduling the surgery. Apparently there is some sort of approval needed before the doctor can proceed. As soon as I know the date I will be ce...	Hawk120025	2	752	Nov 13, 2009 by hotrod
	Custoy Issues (Preview) My AH and I are going through a divorce...he's living an hour away with his girlfriend, he's a severe binge drinker, over the past 16 years, he's been in rehab 4 times, and the hospital so many times I'm not even sure of, he was just in the hospital due to binging twice in August and once in Oct of this year a...	sdisnie	5	837	Nov 13, 2009 by abbyal
	My Safety Glasses have a lil Rose Tint to them now... (Preview) Hello Everyone, Approaching 3 months of seperation from my A I am noticing much progress in my life. At frist, I had kept telling myself, SAFETY GLASSES this time around instead of ROSE COLORED glasses. I was being cautious. Well, this morning while enjoying my coffee outside on my patio alone, i no...	Sincerely	4	1294	Nov 13, 2009 by Hawk120025
	Resentment (Preview) I'm having a real problem trying not to let my hurt and anger towards my ex affect our 5 year old son. My ex left without any explanation and having been supported both emotionally and financially by me for years suddenly decided to end our relationship. He has finally got a job, his first aged 50, an...	sad4life	5	1273	Nov 12, 2009 by jasobel
	Just thoughts really! (Preview) When ever hubby and I have fall out it comes down to, in his eyes, to who's right and who's wrong, I feel like I always do one of two things here really, I spend half my life defending myself and the other half trying to explain my reasoning, he calls me Mary Poppins, perefct in every way, I am trying to learn h...	Katy	5	849	Nov 12, 2009 by jasobel
	Grateful (Preview) I am so grateful for the encouragement, and the deeply personal situations you chose to share with me because of my own fears for my addicted son. I am just hanging on and thanks for throwing me a rope. God Bless	DreamsOver	2	492	Nov 12, 2009 by grammie
	LET GO OR BE DRAGGED-let me clarify a bit (Preview) Yesterday I posted here and got much ESH from all of you. Those of you who know me know what a HUGE door myspace was for me in my past relationship with EXABF and it also caused problems with the new man I was/am dating-(not sure yet about that). But the same issues were arising and I believe this new man's...	shellyj123	8	1380	Nov 12, 2009 by shellyj123
	Service? (Preview) I've just watched a programme on BBC tv called 'Brought up by booze' it's a brilliant programme that's been made as part of the huge BBC Children in Need fundraiser that they have every November here in the UK. I've watched this event for years and never have I seen Aism addressed. This programme I'...	Ness	2	737	Nov 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	why do I need his gratitude (Preview) My ABF had a slip after 6 monyhs he has licked his has lost his job etc etc. He has bee to three meetings intwo days and is chatting with his sponsor. he rang and asked me to drop off bits and bobs. i am angrey it is like tracy will be there again, tracy will understand. When he was sober he went to chat to ex...	Tracy	5	1421	Nov 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	Were I'm At... ????? (Preview) Hoe Hummm... I was Speakin with a Friend of my Mothers, and got to thinkin about alot of things...When I sit and look at the big picture of "MY" family...I can't see but "1" Chain in it that wasn't takin over by Alcohol... And the closer I look to my back round the more I find... MORE A...	Jozie	3	467	Nov 11, 2009 by layneee
	new to internet (Preview) I am new {very} to the net though not to al-anon. Pointers please?	oldbat	3	690	Nov 11, 2009 by Jerry F
	I'm out of the cycle.... (Preview) I've been with my husband for 20 years..married for 17 this past Sept. We have been together since High School. I watched him progress into a terrible binge drinker over the years. How I lived through it all I truly don't know. I recall hundreds or more times I would hide in my closet and cry and pray t...	sdisnie	6	874	Nov 11, 2009 by sdisnie
	Reaching out (Preview) Hi all, I have some trouble sleeping at night lately. I either can't get my mind to stop or I just lay there and stare the ceiling and pet Lily. I don't always feel like going into chat all the time sometimes I am not in the right head space or whatever. So........since my HP has been teaching me about the po...	Mandy123	4	736	Nov 11, 2009 by DreamsOver
	Need strenght (Preview) My husband is having the occasional beer after almost six months clean. He's been an addict since he's 12, he's 32 now. He went to rehab on April after a 5 day binge, he just got up and decided to go to rehab. His counselor has told me his chances of recovery are small due to his job, his many years of addictio...	Priscilla83	7	573	Nov 11, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Need support please (Preview) Hi my ABF has had a slip after 6 months he was doing so well and had amazed me with his strenghth. His nephew died 2 weeks ago aged 5months ild my ABF supported his sister arranged the funeral and was the backbone for the family. I went away at the weekend to do work on my resentments with moretolife. His g...	Tracy	6	718	Nov 11, 2009 by jennifer581
	Question on Holiday Etiquette and the Substance Abuser (Preview) Hi there, What is the etiquette when an extended family member brings a sig other who abuses alcohol to a holiday meal where alcohol will be served? My daughter's husband's brother's gf has a problem with alcohol abuse (and we think pills, too) and they are coming over for Christmas dinner. We're havi...	Ambercastaway	10	1030	Nov 11, 2009 by Ambercastaway
	How do you learn to trust again? (Preview) My Husband has said he has stopped drinking for over a month now. He is not attending meetings, just doing it on his own. I have so many trust issues... I think he smells like beer so often and I accuse him of drinking, and he says he hasn't. I know in my head that this is counter productive, but I can't sto...	chloe0724	7	4727	Nov 11, 2009 by GailMichelle
	Happy Veterans Day (Preview) (((((Family)))), It is Veterans Day here in the US. To all of those who have served I thank you. To all of those who have gone before, we honor and remember you. To all of those who are serving and their families: thank you for your dedication and sacrifice. Come home safe to us. My father was a vet, hu...	Karilynn	0	518	Nov 11, 2009 by Karilynn
	CPS involved (Preview) One of my neices has been acting out in school so they took her to the councelor's office. Apparently she told some stuff about the household because CPS was called out a few days later. All the kids and the parents were brought to one of the schools, apparently to be interviewed and maybe to be examine...	smartkat	11	1025	Nov 11, 2009 by smartkat
	Update (Preview) Hi all - I read often but comment rarely. I have been on the board for several years through AH's rehab in '05, immediate relapse, chronic drinking. I asked him to leave last December and he moved out 12/26. In the entire time we were together (12.5 yrs) he was never sober for more than 2.5 months (which he...	babysteps	3	652	Nov 10, 2009 by Debilyn
	Never thought the program would change me this much (Preview) Hi family, I knew this program was going to change my life...and I knew that it was going to change me...but wow last night I didn't even recognize myself. Earlier last week a couple girls I work with asked if I wanted to go out Saturday night. I said thanks but no thanks. One of them just wouldn't let it go s...	Mandy123	4	643	Nov 10, 2009 by Maria123
	My alanon-spaghetti sauce story (Preview) Hi family, Here is the spaghetti sauce story. Ok so the night that I had my run in with the spider I was making spaghetti for dinner. It is a family fav and really easy to make. I make my sauce from scratch...so my first thought was that most spaghetti has the same base...a tomato base. The base is like the t...	Mandy123	6	655	Nov 10, 2009 by Maria123
	Is this what letting go feels like????? (Preview) Spent as much time as I could this past weekend as my health and family issues would allow, at the AlAnon conference. I prayed for strength when I was on the way there to do the next right thing and asked for help to just let go of the EXABF and all the trama there and just move past it. Please God I prayed ju...	shellyj123	6	543	Nov 10, 2009 by roygbiv
	Doing My Best Not to Be NUTS.... (Preview) One of the speakers for the AA group at the conferance was talkin about her up bringing, and many things echoed in my head how it was when my parents were still together, they divorced when I was 9... But the last couple years before the leave, were things you just don't for get... She had mentioned about...	Jozie	4	558	Nov 10, 2009 by roygbiv
	Missing him during a difficult time (Preview) I could relate when I read Andrea's post a while ago. Hello, God, want to cut me some slack here? I'm not sure I can take much more. Lost my job in January. Had to file bankruptcy as a result. Was cleared of ovarian cancer in February after a year of treatment. Was recently diagnosed with breast cance...	Hawk120025	6	558	Nov 10, 2009 by roygbiv
	Overcoming Fear (Preview) I have not taken a phone call from my AS for a week now, and I'm now having a very hard time not picking the phone up when he calls me. He is now getting angry when he leaves a voice mail, I can hear it in his voice, I am worried as to how he might react to my not letting him have money, or giving him gas, etc. I am begi...	DreamsOver	3	615	Nov 10, 2009 by roygbiv
	Should I stay or go? Please share your ESH on why you STAYED and what was the outcome for you? (Preview) Hi MIP family. I've been noticing lately that there have been many posts on the reasons to leave and the reasons to stay. I'd love to hear more members ESH on this. Why did you stay and what was the outcome for you?	Rocky38	7	645	Nov 10, 2009 by Aloha
	needed to say something to dh.... (Preview) i usually don't say anything to my dh about his using. i figure it is his stuff and not my business. my son-in-law works for him and made the comment to daughter that everyone in his business uses. (he doesn't) he complained of a toothache and was told to ask dh for some vicodin. when dh came home from w...	debhud	2	795	Nov 10, 2009 by Aloha
	What A Weekend..... (Preview) Welp... I Lived and Survived thru my 1st "al-anon/AA" Confrence.... WOW...WOW...WOW... Had someone told me how exausting it was goin to be, I don't know that I would have signed up... So I am VERY grateful... NO ONE DID... :) I got some much from it, and met such wonderful people, both in al-...	Jozie	6	563	Nov 10, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	My New Favorite Quote (Preview) I've been reading a work by Vernon Howard, a spiritual teacher. I just found this quote: Permitting your life to be taken over by another person is like letting the waiter eat your dinner. Blessings, Temple	Temple	5	655	Nov 10, 2009 by blender_girl
	Manipulation (Preview) I was reading today's reading (Nov. 9) in Courage to Change and it talked about manipulation. This reading had to do with the type of manipulation that we learn from living with alcoholics and the day to day life that kind of life changes us into. It states that, "Alcoholism can create such a thr...	Overcome	6	1064	Nov 10, 2009 by Mariner
	Detachment need not always mean leaving (Preview) Has anyone else felt battered by well-meaning advice from others that the only way to survive an alcoholic partner is to up and leave? And do you feel, like me, you have loved this person for so long that now things have turned upside down (to put it politely) you cannot just walk out on what is a very sick p...	Tattyhead	7	1016	Nov 10, 2009 by Tattyhead
	Turing it over but not stopping my part. (Preview) My part is the program and the giving away what I have learned since I got here which has worked miracles in my life and in the lives of others. I have never seen anything as powerful against the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction as the spiritual 12 steps and traditions of AA and Al-Anon. I've be...	Jerry F	4	816	Nov 10, 2009 by Ness
	Trouble setting boundaries (Preview) Hi all, During a recent visit to my therapist, we talked a lot about setting and keeping boundaries with my addict boyfriend. My problem is this: during the summer, I set a boundary that I believed I could stick to - that if my boyfriend used again, I would leave until he was clean. He was terrified of my le...	Sangyaa	8	1062	Nov 9, 2009 by Sangyaa
	my ex wife (Preview) Haven't talk to my ex wife in a week , haven't slept much , had deleted her from one of my email acc. , but this morning , added her back but didn't send a invite mybe she send me one , I miss talking to her , today is going to be a hard day , but I hope I will get through it , beginnig of a new week , as she has been my best...	john boy	4	679	Nov 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	Reposting of: What do alanon and spiders have in common? (Yes you read that right) (Preview) HI all, I was reading some of my old post and came across this one I am reposting. It really fits where I am right now and even stranger I had spaghetti tonight for dinner (that will make more sense after you read the post I promise ). Here it is: Hi all, I was sitting here typing this morning and I saw a movemen...	Mandy123	11	629	Nov 9, 2009 by Rocky38
	Alive & well! (Preview) I am alive & well! Sometimes I don't feel particularly alive or well! Today I can actually say I am feeling pretty good. Had a long weekend but was able to keep in touch with my alanon friends. I am so grateful for them. My husband & I are getting along pretty well. He is trying so hard to put up w...	Hoot Nanny	1	396	Nov 9, 2009 by Mandy123
	My realizations of the day... (Preview) 1. I have lost 40 lbs since my ex bf and I broke up three months ago! WOOO HOOO!! 2. (Thanks for this shelly) my ex bf has totally shut me out of any kind of communication for many weeks now and it really pisses me off and I just realized today how the A feels when we shut them off. I'm angry with him for treat...	carolinagirl	4	561	Nov 9, 2009 by Mandy123
	drama, drama, drama (Preview) Relationships are work and hard work at that. Relationships with alcoholics are even harder! My husband is an alcoholic and has been going to AA for over 20 years. Currently he has 9 months of sobriety (I think, I posted it a while ago -- he knows to the day). But marriage is work -- often a roller coas...	db55	5	652	Nov 9, 2009 by db55
	Happy 11th Birthday MIP Al-Anon Group (Preview) Just want say how thankful I am to MIP and all of the members for sharing and making this such a wonderful, supportive and safe place to come. Happy 11th Birthday, MIP Al-Anon Group! -- Edited by akristab on Sunday 8th of November 2009 04:52:28 PM -- Edited by akristab on Sunday 8th of November 2009 04:53...	akristab	4	480	Nov 9, 2009 by Tattyhead
	No more guessing (Preview) I have been driving myself crazy for almost a week now wondering if my husband has been sneaking drinks since coming home from his 30-day in-patient treatment facility. Well today I got my answer and I didn't even have to snoop. It's his birthday and we used to have a tradition of having Birthday Mimos...	N8SMOM	5	618	Nov 9, 2009 by Mandy123
	Can Anyone Share How They Stay Strong..... (Preview) I am trying to cut off my financial support for my AS, I have tried and tried to help him get on his feet, but I have just enabled him. He has been ringing my phone since 11:00 AM today every ten minutes ( I am not answering it), and my nerves are frayed. I want to pull my hair out. Thanks for letting me vent.	DreamsOver	6	656	Nov 8, 2009 by Jen
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.