Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My addicted son is now 29 years old, I have been dealing with him for the last ten years, and I have now come to a place in the relationship that I have detached. I don't cry and beg anymore, I don't try to run after him and try to keep up with who and what he is getting into. I know I am better off for it, but here...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I had my first initial status conference today with my AH...I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but I was thinking that he wouldn't get real parenting time with his 16 year long history of documented drinking and drug use. That really didn't get brought up today, and our temporary orders hearing is...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Things in my life seem to have settled somewhat and for that I am grateful. I however am and have been struggling with worry and letting go and trying to just live in THIS day. I know all the reasons I should and I know that I should but it is just hard to do right now. I am having to have surgery the week before...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband's DUI sentencing was today and by all accounts, he should be in jail right now. Unfortunately, thanks to his lawyer and that stupid judge, his sentencing has been postponed a (2nd time) until JANUARY 12!!!!!! I was really looking forward to him not being here for Christmas. He has mana...

babysteps · babysteps

My AH have been apart for a year. I am just now seeing how I have been damaged by living with an A for so long. Someone here posted a while ago an acronym for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. That really stuck with me and I see that I am enmeshed with fear. While living with my A he would go through bouts of c...

Desperate_2275 · Desperate_2275

Hi - I'm new here... I've been reading some posts and just registered myself today. My husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years but we've been together for 12 years and friends for about 20 yrs or so.... So here goes - I'm going to give a little description... For years my husband has had some s...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband is acting like a total jerk these days. We had a huge blow-up yesterday morning (mostly about him getting drunk and "checking out" on us). Of course his usual response to that is that he checks out on me, not our son. Then he ended up spending the ENTIRE day in the guest room (from...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Sometimes I have doubt that my soon to be ex AH has a problem. When I look through my journal, and back at our lives together (20 years together) and I remember all those binges he went on, the four times he was in rehab, the many many hospital visits, I know he has a problem. But then he'll be able to contro...

cdngirl · cdngirl

AH called me and asked if it was ok for him to go out for drinks with his coworkers after work today. What is a good response to this? He has been to two AA meetings, but that was three weeks ago. He is now trying to control it on his own again, hoping he can be a social drinker. I know that's not possible, but I...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF had a slip after 6 months last weekend. He has really worked the programme and could not have tried harder then bang hes gone again. I ended this relationship in March and he ent into AA all my hope returned so we got back together as he wastrying to get better. But today I am on my knees I ca not fight...

serching-sandy · serching-sandy

hi.. I say new to helping me because, I'm just starting to realize how much I have been protecting this wonderful family secret.. It started when I was born.. I don't remember much from my earlier years, but I know that I always kept it quiet, my parents just didn't feel well. my dads job was stressful...

Gailey · Gailey

My A son came out of a 28 day rehab and drank , I think, the following day. His insurance from his job, which he didn't return to, expired 10/31. He made sure to go to his therapist who prescribes his antidepressant on 10/28 so to be sure he had more refills before his insurance ran out. He just calls me this m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My dad recently sent all those he loves a special poem about God. I didn't know that he liked to write poetry. It really moved me. I love my dad very much. He lives about 900 miles away from me. Anyhow, I just wanted to share that with you all. I won't post the poem at this time but I just wanted to let you know t...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), Here's an old photo of Tim & I taken 20 years ago at the university. I should be that thin today. The other 2 are Pipers playing Sorry last night w/my niece and I. Pipers didn't win, but she did take control of the board! Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

Hangin-On · Hangin-On

Im new here. Kinda unsure of what to think yet, but I am really in need of a place to vent where people can understand what I am going threw and to hear stories of what others are going threw as well. Im at my wits end with my husband. And although we have been threw SO MUCH DRAMA this year regarding his drinkin...

sdisnie · sdisnie

It's my oldest sons 19th birthday today...I'm so proud of the man he's become and I love him and all my kids with all my heart. They are my life, I would do anything for them. Today I got an email from an atty that my AH obtained today, it was a pretty nasty email, that made me break down and cry. I was shock...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

For weeks I have been saying that I'm looking forward to my husband going to jail - I've been so mad at him for drinking after rehab, I just wanted him away so he wouldn't ruin my Christmas. Yesterday I was in a traffic accident and it really shook me. It has brought out a fear in me - a fear of being alone. M...

DreamXL · DreamXL

Hello, I am your disease I Hate meetings...I Hate higher powers...I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. I Am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's Me. I have killed mill...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Sometimes I honestly think that work is my safe place, the place where I can go and do what I need to....X Y Z and that is it. I know what is expected of me, what dates it needs done and who to go to when I need help. It's the simplest part of my life some days......not lately, but some days. The weekend starte...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... This weekend was one of those roller Coasters I have been attemping to avoid here of late... I just need to get it out of my head...ESH would be a wonderful gift on times like this for me... :) Friday 13th was the best of it all :) I went to ol' Home f2f Meeting, it was a full house we were smooched there w...

canadianguy · canadianguy

(Feeling in a reflective mood tonight, so this is a re-post of one I posted in 2006.... still very applicable today...) Just thinking about a couple of "aha" moments in my recovery, kind of 'lines in the sand' that are memories, and perhaps stepping stones for me finally "getting it...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, 5 years ago today my AHsober of 30 years said that he wanted a divorce. He said that he didn't love me, that he wasn't happy, and that the purpose of life was happiness. He said that he will always be an addict and he was tired trying to get better and working on our relationship. I of course w...

Gailey · Gailey

Funny story...BIL is at the Sheraton in downtown Nashville last night for work. Not being into country music he is wondering why everyone is walking around in a tux. On the elevator with 2 guys he ask what is going on. The one guy replied it is the CMA tonight. BIL says "who are you...I will look for y...

xeno59 · xeno59

Grateful member of alanon here My son is an addict. Technically homeless but sitting in jail at the moment for violating probation by using drugs. I turned him in. He had been to rehab ( court ordered) but released after 5 weeks as it is a county run program and basically they needed the bed. My son pleade...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Wow....I just read some of my old posts from 4 years ago! It took me right back to how I felt then dealing with the craziness of my AH and what he was doing to our family..... I look back now and reflect over all the years with him and all the ways his drinking has affected me and how I let it continue to affect m...

Tracy · Tracy

Well my ABF is still missing and I have through myself into my programme, meetings, phone calls to sponsor, reading, talking to Hp and guess what I m back. I know it is not personal, I know he will be devastated once he comes round but back to me I have supported him for 4 and a half years HOW IS THIS WORKING FO...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

It's so funny, I just have to laugh (or I'd go insane). As I left with my son and mom today, my husband was all set to start on the Christmas lights (11:00 a.m.). As we drove away, we noticed the house on the corner was being decorated with Christmas lights too. We came home around 2:00 to check on the progr...

Ness · Ness

I adored Xmas......loved to make it cosy, happy, and fun....it wasnt ever about stuff it was about magic My 2 kids grew into big adult Xmas lovers.....we always kept the magic going. Xmas of 2004 was the year we realised our son was no longer in control of his drinking or indeed his life. November of th...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I went with a couple friends to this really great new church that people around my area have been raving about recently. Now I know why, the message that they give is so incredible and feels so much like an alanon meeting!! It was like he was speaking directly to me....talking about relationships and...

ally · ally

Hi Folks It's funny how at times you think your life is moving on yet you still live with the thoughts and feelings from your past. I can see there are a few still on the site from a time where i participated on MIP. To cut a long story short this is where i'm at today. I'm now 38 years old and still single. I work...

layneee · layneee

I WANT SO BADLY JUST TO PACK UP MY THINGS AND LEAVE!!!!! I KNOW ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE AND RIGHT NOW IM JUST ANGRY. IM ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR LETTING THIS GO SO LONG AND HOPING IT WOULD ALL BE OK.... MY ABF WENT TO REHAB THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH , WAS SOBER FOR 6 OR 7 DAYS AFTER RETURNING HOME... WENT BACK TO DET...

Katy · Katy

To each and everyone of you that contributes to this forum, I am truly greatful, I belive in a higher power but as yet do not pray regularly, I have done though when my life has brought me to my knees, and always something somewhere has thrown me a life line, I am humbled by each and every one of you that comes...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Everyone, Last weekend I went to a wedding. My Deceased Uncle's Girlfriend was there. He was an A. Everyone was so surprised how fantastic and happy she looked. She is obviously taking care of herself. Her and I were talking, she told me how fantastic and happy I look myself. She didn't kno...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

What a shock. There I was thinking he was tucked away on his caribbean island with his argentinian pole dancer (although his nephew had told me it was on the rocks I treated it as heresay). Anyway, hes been emailing old work colleagues/friends asking if there is any work back here. OMG what on earth woul...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My addict son called a little while ago and I picked the phone up, he wants money for cigarettes, I told him no. He made a veiled threat of hurting himself if he didn't get some help from me, and that I was the reason he takes drugs. I told him that was his decision to live the way he wanted to, but I shouldn't b...

jasobel · jasobel

Can others share what you do when you start blaming yourself for another's drinking behavior? What step mainly focuses on this? I find myself at times caught in the cycle of saying "what if I had done xxx differently?" instead of focusing on the alcoholic and their inability to communicat...

mermaid88 · mermaid88

My fiance has been to Hazelden, and has relapsed. He is now going to go to Passages in Malibu in two days. Does anyone know anything about this treatment center? I want him to get help, but my research has led me to believe that Passages is not a good treatment center. Does anyone know anything about i...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband got a call from his attorney yesterday and there's a good chance he'll be heading to jail for 45 days right after his sentencing on November 17. My husband was under the impression that his attorney would be stretching this out another couple months, but from the looks of things, that's no...

Jerry F · Jerry F

It says in the closing of our meetings "If you keep and open mind you will find help." I had my mind open this evening and heard the tool "Detachment" and the slogan "Let go and let God" and the very same time. Detachment...getting out of HPs way. I like it!! Tonigh...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

Thank you to all for your prayers, support and concern. I wish you were all here. Because my surgery is being paid for by Medi-Cal, there is a bit of a hold up with scheduling the surgery. Apparently there is some sort of approval needed before the doctor can proceed. As soon as I know the date I will be ce...

sdisnie · sdisnie

My AH and I are going through a divorce...he's living an hour away with his girlfriend, he's a severe binge drinker, over the past 16 years, he's been in rehab 4 times, and the hospital so many times I'm not even sure of, he was just in the hospital due to binging twice in August and once in Oct of this year a...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Everyone, Approaching 3 months of seperation from my A I am noticing much progress in my life. At frist, I had kept telling myself, SAFETY GLASSES this time around instead of ROSE COLORED glasses. I was being cautious. Well, this morning while enjoying my coffee outside on my patio alone, i no...

sad4life · sad4life

I'm having a real problem trying not to let my hurt and anger towards my ex affect our 5 year old son. My ex left without any explanation and having been supported both emotionally and financially by me for years suddenly decided to end our relationship. He has finally got a job, his first aged 50, an...

Katy · Katy

When ever hubby and I have fall out it comes down to, in his eyes, to who's right and who's wrong, I feel like I always do one of two things here really, I spend half my life defending myself and the other half trying to explain my reasoning, he calls me Mary Poppins, perefct in every way, I am trying to learn h...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I am so grateful for the encouragement, and the deeply personal situations you chose to share with me because of my own fears for my addicted son. I am just hanging on and thanks for throwing me a rope. God Bless

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Yesterday I posted here and got much ESH from all of you. Those of you who know me know what a HUGE door myspace was for me in my past relationship with EXABF and it also caused problems with the new man I was/am dating-(not sure yet about that). But the same issues were arising and I believe this new man's...

Ness · Ness

I've just watched a programme on BBC tv called 'Brought up by booze' it's a brilliant programme that's been made as part of the huge BBC Children in Need fundraiser that they have every November here in the UK. I've watched this event for years and never have I seen Aism addressed. This programme I'...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF had a slip after 6 monyhs he has licked his has lost his job etc etc. He has bee to three meetings intwo days and is chatting with his sponsor. he rang and asked me to drop off bits and bobs. i am angrey it is like tracy will be there again, tracy will understand. When he was sober he went to chat to ex...

Jozie · Jozie

Hoe Hummm... I was Speakin with a Friend of my Mothers, and got to thinkin about alot of things...When I sit and look at the big picture of "MY" family...I can't see but "1" Chain in it that wasn't takin over by Alcohol... And the closer I look to my back round the more I find... MORE A...

oldbat · oldbat

I am new {very} to the net though not to al-anon. Pointers please?

sdisnie · sdisnie

I've been with my husband for 20 years..married for 17 this past Sept. We have been together since High School. I watched him progress into a terrible binge drinker over the years. How I lived through it all I truly don't know. I recall hundreds or more times I would hide in my closet and cry and pray t...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I have some trouble sleeping at night lately. I either can't get my mind to stop or I just lay there and stare the ceiling and pet Lily. I don't always feel like going into chat all the time sometimes I am not in the right head space or whatever. So........since my HP has been teaching me about the po...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

My husband is having the occasional beer after almost six months clean. He's been an addict since he's 12, he's 32 now. He went to rehab on April after a 5 day binge, he just got up and decided to go to rehab. His counselor has told me his chances of recovery are small due to his job, his many years of addictio...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi my ABF has had a slip after 6 months he was doing so well and had amazed me with his strenghth. His nephew died 2 weeks ago aged 5months ild my ABF supported his sister arranged the funeral and was the backbone for the family. I went away at the weekend to do work on my resentments with moretolife. His g...

Ambercastaway · Ambercastaway

Hi there, What is the etiquette when an extended family member brings a sig other who abuses alcohol to a holiday meal where alcohol will be served? My daughter's husband's brother's gf has a problem with alcohol abuse (and we think pills, too) and they are coming over for Christmas dinner. We're havi...

chloe0724 · chloe0724

My Husband has said he has stopped drinking for over a month now. He is not attending meetings, just doing it on his own. I have so many trust issues... I think he smells like beer so often and I accuse him of drinking, and he says he hasn't. I know in my head that this is counter productive, but I can't sto...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), It is Veterans Day here in the US. To all of those who have served I thank you. To all of those who have gone before, we honor and remember you. To all of those who are serving and their families: thank you for your dedication and sacrifice. Come home safe to us. My father was a vet, hu...

smartkat · smartkat

One of my neices has been acting out in school so they took her to the councelor's office. Apparently she told some stuff about the household because CPS was called out a few days later. All the kids and the parents were brought to one of the schools, apparently to be interviewed and maybe to be examine...

babysteps · babysteps

Hi all - I read often but comment rarely. I have been on the board for several years through AH's rehab in '05, immediate relapse, chronic drinking. I asked him to leave last December and he moved out 12/26. In the entire time we were together (12.5 yrs) he was never sober for more than 2.5 months (which he...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, I knew this program was going to change my life...and I knew that it was going to change me...but wow last night I didn't even recognize myself. Earlier last week a couple girls I work with asked if I wanted to go out Saturday night. I said thanks but no thanks. One of them just wouldn't let it go s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling Gulity About Detachment.... (Preview) My addicted son is now 29 years old, I have been dealing with him for the last ten years, and I have now come to a place in the relationship that I have detached. I don't cry and beg anymore, I don't try to run after him and try to keep up with who and what he is getting into. I know I am better off for it, but here...	DreamsOver	5	981	Nov 19, 2009 by justducky
	I don't get it.... :( Why does my AH always seem to win? (Preview) I had my first initial status conference today with my AH...I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but I was thinking that he wouldn't get real parenting time with his 16 year long history of documented drinking and drug use. That really didn't get brought up today, and our temporary orders hearing is...	sdisnie	7	689	Nov 19, 2009 by serendipity
	Trying so very hard to stay in the now...ESH needed (Preview) Things in my life seem to have settled somewhat and for that I am grateful. I however am and have been struggling with worry and letting go and trying to just live in THIS day. I know all the reasons I should and I know that I should but it is just hard to do right now. I am having to have surgery the week before...	shellyj123	4	1194	Nov 19, 2009 by nmike
	You Gotta Love Our Judicial System (Preview) My husband's DUI sentencing was today and by all accounts, he should be in jail right now. Unfortunately, thanks to his lawyer and that stupid judge, his sentencing has been postponed a (2nd time) until JANUARY 12!!!!!! I was really looking forward to him not being here for Christmas. He has mana...	N8SMOM	3	1092	Nov 19, 2009 by cassidy2010
	The damage done by living with an A (Preview) My AH have been apart for a year. I am just now seeing how I have been damaged by living with an A for so long. Someone here posted a while ago an acronym for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. That really stuck with me and I see that I am enmeshed with fear. While living with my A he would go through bouts of c...	babysteps	2	1075	Nov 19, 2009 by sdisnie
	New here... I'm just looking for some advise.... (Preview) Hi - I'm new here... I've been reading some posts and just registered myself today. My husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years but we've been together for 12 years and friends for about 20 yrs or so.... So here goes - I'm going to give a little description... For years my husband has had some s...	Desperate_2275	10	645	Nov 18, 2009 by xeno59
	It's so hard to be civil (Preview) My husband is acting like a total jerk these days. We had a huge blow-up yesterday morning (mostly about him getting drunk and "checking out" on us). Of course his usual response to that is that he checks out on me, not our son. Then he ended up spending the ENTIRE day in the guest room (from...	N8SMOM	6	964	Nov 18, 2009 by Baffled
	Sometimes I have doubt (Preview) Sometimes I have doubt that my soon to be ex AH has a problem. When I look through my journal, and back at our lives together (20 years together) and I remember all those binges he went on, the four times he was in rehab, the many many hospital visits, I know he has a problem. But then he'll be able to contro...	sdisnie	5	1006	Nov 18, 2009 by Dini
	How to respond? (Preview) AH called me and asked if it was ok for him to go out for drinks with his coworkers after work today. What is a good response to this? He has been to two AA meetings, but that was three weeks ago. He is now trying to control it on his own again, hoping he can be a social drinker. I know that's not possible, but I...	cdngirl	3	769	Nov 18, 2009 by cdngirl
	really need ESH (Preview) My ABF had a slip after 6 months last weekend. He has really worked the programme and could not have tried harder then bang hes gone again. I ended this relationship in March and he ent into AA all my hope returned so we got back together as he wastrying to get better. But today I am on my knees I ca not fight...	Tracy	3	671	Nov 18, 2009 by DreamXL
	new to helping me.. (Preview) hi.. I say new to helping me because, I'm just starting to realize how much I have been protecting this wonderful family secret.. It started when I was born.. I don't remember much from my earlier years, but I know that I always kept it quiet, my parents just didn't feel well. my dads job was stressful...	serching-sandy	5	618	Nov 18, 2009 by DreamXL
	I could just scream (Preview) My A son came out of a 28 day rehab and drank , I think, the following day. His insurance from his job, which he didn't return to, expired 10/31. He made sure to go to his therapist who prescribes his antidepressant on 10/28 so to be sure he had more refills before his insurance ran out. He just calls me this m...	Gailey	6	841	Nov 17, 2009 by alanonicScotland
	MY DAD'S POEM! (Preview) My dad recently sent all those he loves a special poem about God. I didn't know that he liked to write poetry. It really moved me. I love my dad very much. He lives about 900 miles away from me. Anyhow, I just wanted to share that with you all. I won't post the poem at this time but I just wanted to let you know t...	Hoot Nanny	0	547	Nov 17, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Family Photos (Preview) ((((Family))), Here's an old photo of Tim & I taken 20 years ago at the university. I should be that thin today. The other 2 are Pipers playing Sorry last night w/my niece and I. Pipers didn't win, but she did take control of the board! Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty	Karilynn	4	764	Nov 17, 2009 by carolinagirl
	New here and needin to vent... (Preview) Im new here. Kinda unsure of what to think yet, but I am really in need of a place to vent where people can understand what I am going threw and to hear stories of what others are going threw as well. Im at my wits end with my husband. And although we have been threw SO MUCH DRAMA this year regarding his drinkin...	Hangin-On	7	810	Nov 17, 2009 by jasobel
	Scared and praying.... (Preview) It's my oldest sons 19th birthday today...I'm so proud of the man he's become and I love him and all my kids with all my heart. They are my life, I would do anything for them. Today I got an email from an atty that my AH obtained today, it was a pretty nasty email, that made me break down and cry. I was shock...	sdisnie	6	800	Nov 17, 2009 by abbyal
	NOW I'm scared. (Preview) For weeks I have been saying that I'm looking forward to my husband going to jail - I've been so mad at him for drinking after rehab, I just wanted him away so he wouldn't ruin my Christmas. Yesterday I was in a traffic accident and it really shook me. It has brought out a fear in me - a fear of being alone. M...	N8SMOM	5	793	Nov 16, 2009 by Rocky38
	There is getting it, then there is getting it...then there is really getting it (Preview) Hello, I am your disease I Hate meetings...I Hate higher powers...I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. I Am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's Me. I have killed mill...	DreamXL	4	944	Nov 16, 2009 by DreamXL
	When coming to work is a relief.... (Preview) Sometimes I honestly think that work is my safe place, the place where I can go and do what I need to....X Y Z and that is it. I know what is expected of me, what dates it needs done and who to go to when I need help. It's the simplest part of my life some days......not lately, but some days. The weekend starte...	shellyj123	3	876	Nov 16, 2009 by masspedirn
	Out of my Head... (Preview) Ok... This weekend was one of those roller Coasters I have been attemping to avoid here of late... I just need to get it out of my head...ESH would be a wonderful gift on times like this for me... :) Friday 13th was the best of it all :) I went to ol' Home f2f Meeting, it was a full house we were smooched there w...	Jozie	4	907	Nov 16, 2009 by hotrod
	When did you start "getting it?" (Preview) (Feeling in a reflective mood tonight, so this is a re-post of one I posted in 2006.... still very applicable today...) Just thinking about a couple of "aha" moments in my recovery, kind of 'lines in the sand' that are memories, and perhaps stepping stones for me finally "getting it...	canadianguy	9	1081	Nov 16, 2009 by shellyj123
	5 years ago today (Preview) Hi Alanoners, 5 years ago today my AHsober of 30 years said that he wanted a divorce. He said that he didn't love me, that he wasn't happy, and that the purpose of life was happiness. He said that he will always be an addict and he was tired trying to get better and working on our relationship. I of course w...	nmike	4	781	Nov 16, 2009 by Tracy
	COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS (Preview) Funny story...BIL is at the Sheraton in downtown Nashville last night for work. Not being into country music he is wondering why everyone is walking around in a tux. On the elevator with 2 guys he ask what is going on. The one guy replied it is the CMA tonight. BIL says "who are you...I will look for y...	Gailey	8	829	Nov 16, 2009 by Karilynn
	Asking for prayers (Preview) Grateful member of alanon here My son is an addict. Technically homeless but sitting in jail at the moment for violating probation by using drugs. I turned him in. He had been to rehab ( court ordered) but released after 5 weeks as it is a county run program and basically they needed the bed. My son pleade...	xeno59	5	1368	Nov 16, 2009 by DreamXL
	Reading old posts.... (Preview) Wow....I just read some of my old posts from 4 years ago! It took me right back to how I felt then dealing with the craziness of my AH and what he was doing to our family..... I look back now and reflect over all the years with him and all the ways his drinking has affected me and how I let it continue to affect m...	sdisnie	3	766	Nov 16, 2009 by whitie
	feel good thanks to al anon (Preview) Well my ABF is still missing and I have through myself into my programme, meetings, phone calls to sponsor, reading, talking to Hp and guess what I m back. I know it is not personal, I know he will be devastated once he comes round but back to me I have supported him for 4 and a half years HOW IS THIS WORKING FO...	Tracy	3	625	Nov 15, 2009 by hotrod
	The Saga of the Christmas Lights Continues (for those who are interested) (Preview) It's so funny, I just have to laugh (or I'd go insane). As I left with my son and mom today, my husband was all set to start on the Christmas lights (11:00 a.m.). As we drove away, we noticed the house on the corner was being decorated with Christmas lights too. We came home around 2:00 to check on the progr...	N8SMOM	13	935	Nov 15, 2009 by drucilla06
	Xmas.....bad trigger for me. (Preview) I adored Xmas......loved to make it cosy, happy, and fun....it wasnt ever about stuff it was about magic My 2 kids grew into big adult Xmas lovers.....we always kept the magic going. Xmas of 2004 was the year we realised our son was no longer in control of his drinking or indeed his life. November of th...	Ness	5	984	Nov 15, 2009 by maresie
	Letting go Today (Preview) I went with a couple friends to this really great new church that people around my area have been raving about recently. Now I know why, the message that they give is so incredible and feels so much like an alanon meeting!! It was like he was speaking directly to me....talking about relationships and...	sdisnie	1	503	Nov 15, 2009 by jasobel
	Popping By For A Recharge {lol} xxx (Preview) Hi Folks It's funny how at times you think your life is moving on yet you still live with the thoughts and feelings from your past. I can see there are a few still on the site from a time where i participated on MIP. To cut a long story short this is where i'm at today. I'm now 38 years old and still single. I work...	ally	4	599	Nov 15, 2009 by ally
	WHEN TO STAY AND WHEN TO LEAVE???? (Preview) I WANT SO BADLY JUST TO PACK UP MY THINGS AND LEAVE!!!!! I KNOW ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE AND RIGHT NOW IM JUST ANGRY. IM ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR LETTING THIS GO SO LONG AND HOPING IT WOULD ALL BE OK.... MY ABF WENT TO REHAB THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH , WAS SOBER FOR 6 OR 7 DAYS AFTER RETURNING HOME... WENT BACK TO DET...	layneee	7	777	Nov 14, 2009 by whitie
	Just want to say? (Preview) To each and everyone of you that contributes to this forum, I am truly greatful, I belive in a higher power but as yet do not pray regularly, I have done though when my life has brought me to my knees, and always something somewhere has thrown me a life line, I am humbled by each and every one of you that comes...	Katy	3	728	Nov 14, 2009 by sdisnie
	God's Grace is Enough!! (Preview) Hello Everyone, Last weekend I went to a wedding. My Deceased Uncle's Girlfriend was there. He was an A. Everyone was so surprised how fantastic and happy she looked. She is obviously taking care of herself. Her and I were talking, she told me how fantastic and happy I look myself. She didn't kno...	Sincerely	3	531	Nov 14, 2009 by nmike
	OMG AH getting nearer (Preview) What a shock. There I was thinking he was tucked away on his caribbean island with his argentinian pole dancer (although his nephew had told me it was on the rocks I treated it as heresay). Anyway, hes been emailing old work colleagues/friends asking if there is any work back here. OMG what on earth woul...	Lilly Burn	5	1124	Nov 14, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	Threats...... (Preview) My addict son called a little while ago and I picked the phone up, he wants money for cigarettes, I told him no. He made a veiled threat of hurting himself if he didn't get some help from me, and that I was the reason he takes drugs. I told him that was his decision to live the way he wanted to, but I shouldn't b...	DreamsOver	6	688	Nov 14, 2009 by abbyal
	Self blame - what do you do when you get caught in that nasty cycle? (Preview) Can others share what you do when you start blaming yourself for another's drinking behavior? What step mainly focuses on this? I find myself at times caught in the cycle of saying "what if I had done xxx differently?" instead of focusing on the alcoholic and their inability to communicat...	jasobel	12	1348	Nov 13, 2009 by canadianguy
	Passages Malibu (Preview) My fiance has been to Hazelden, and has relapsed. He is now going to go to Passages in Malibu in two days. Does anyone know anything about this treatment center? I want him to get help, but my research has led me to believe that Passages is not a good treatment center. Does anyone know anything about i...	mermaid88	3	3449	Nov 13, 2009 by canadianguy
	Husband May be Heading to Jail (Preview) My husband got a call from his attorney yesterday and there's a good chance he'll be heading to jail for 45 days right after his sentencing on November 17. My husband was under the impression that his attorney would be stretching this out another couple months, but from the looks of things, that's no...	N8SMOM	10	1204	Nov 13, 2009 by hotrod
	A twist on detachment (Preview) It says in the closing of our meetings "If you keep and open mind you will find help." I had my mind open this evening and heard the tool "Detachment" and the slogan "Let go and let God" and the very same time. Detachment...getting out of HPs way. I like it!! Tonigh...	Jerry F	8	2206	Nov 13, 2009 by RLC
	Thank you & update (Preview) Thank you to all for your prayers, support and concern. I wish you were all here. Because my surgery is being paid for by Medi-Cal, there is a bit of a hold up with scheduling the surgery. Apparently there is some sort of approval needed before the doctor can proceed. As soon as I know the date I will be ce...	Hawk120025	2	771	Nov 13, 2009 by hotrod
	Custoy Issues (Preview) My AH and I are going through a divorce...he's living an hour away with his girlfriend, he's a severe binge drinker, over the past 16 years, he's been in rehab 4 times, and the hospital so many times I'm not even sure of, he was just in the hospital due to binging twice in August and once in Oct of this year a...	sdisnie	5	855	Nov 13, 2009 by abbyal
	My Safety Glasses have a lil Rose Tint to them now... (Preview) Hello Everyone, Approaching 3 months of seperation from my A I am noticing much progress in my life. At frist, I had kept telling myself, SAFETY GLASSES this time around instead of ROSE COLORED glasses. I was being cautious. Well, this morning while enjoying my coffee outside on my patio alone, i no...	Sincerely	4	1330	Nov 13, 2009 by Hawk120025
	Resentment (Preview) I'm having a real problem trying not to let my hurt and anger towards my ex affect our 5 year old son. My ex left without any explanation and having been supported both emotionally and financially by me for years suddenly decided to end our relationship. He has finally got a job, his first aged 50, an...	sad4life	5	1293	Nov 12, 2009 by jasobel
	Just thoughts really! (Preview) When ever hubby and I have fall out it comes down to, in his eyes, to who's right and who's wrong, I feel like I always do one of two things here really, I spend half my life defending myself and the other half trying to explain my reasoning, he calls me Mary Poppins, perefct in every way, I am trying to learn h...	Katy	5	873	Nov 12, 2009 by jasobel
	Grateful (Preview) I am so grateful for the encouragement, and the deeply personal situations you chose to share with me because of my own fears for my addicted son. I am just hanging on and thanks for throwing me a rope. God Bless	DreamsOver	2	511	Nov 12, 2009 by grammie
	LET GO OR BE DRAGGED-let me clarify a bit (Preview) Yesterday I posted here and got much ESH from all of you. Those of you who know me know what a HUGE door myspace was for me in my past relationship with EXABF and it also caused problems with the new man I was/am dating-(not sure yet about that). But the same issues were arising and I believe this new man's...	shellyj123	8	1403	Nov 12, 2009 by shellyj123
	Service? (Preview) I've just watched a programme on BBC tv called 'Brought up by booze' it's a brilliant programme that's been made as part of the huge BBC Children in Need fundraiser that they have every November here in the UK. I've watched this event for years and never have I seen Aism addressed. This programme I'...	Ness	2	756	Nov 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	why do I need his gratitude (Preview) My ABF had a slip after 6 monyhs he has licked his has lost his job etc etc. He has bee to three meetings intwo days and is chatting with his sponsor. he rang and asked me to drop off bits and bobs. i am angrey it is like tracy will be there again, tracy will understand. When he was sober he went to chat to ex...	Tracy	5	1517	Nov 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	Were I'm At... ????? (Preview) Hoe Hummm... I was Speakin with a Friend of my Mothers, and got to thinkin about alot of things...When I sit and look at the big picture of "MY" family...I can't see but "1" Chain in it that wasn't takin over by Alcohol... And the closer I look to my back round the more I find... MORE A...	Jozie	3	487	Nov 11, 2009 by layneee
	new to internet (Preview) I am new {very} to the net though not to al-anon. Pointers please?	oldbat	3	710	Nov 11, 2009 by Jerry F
	I'm out of the cycle.... (Preview) I've been with my husband for 20 years..married for 17 this past Sept. We have been together since High School. I watched him progress into a terrible binge drinker over the years. How I lived through it all I truly don't know. I recall hundreds or more times I would hide in my closet and cry and pray t...	sdisnie	6	899	Nov 11, 2009 by sdisnie
	Reaching out (Preview) Hi all, I have some trouble sleeping at night lately. I either can't get my mind to stop or I just lay there and stare the ceiling and pet Lily. I don't always feel like going into chat all the time sometimes I am not in the right head space or whatever. So........since my HP has been teaching me about the po...	Mandy123	4	754	Nov 11, 2009 by DreamsOver
	Need strenght (Preview) My husband is having the occasional beer after almost six months clean. He's been an addict since he's 12, he's 32 now. He went to rehab on April after a 5 day binge, he just got up and decided to go to rehab. His counselor has told me his chances of recovery are small due to his job, his many years of addictio...	Priscilla83	7	592	Nov 11, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Need support please (Preview) Hi my ABF has had a slip after 6 months he was doing so well and had amazed me with his strenghth. His nephew died 2 weeks ago aged 5months ild my ABF supported his sister arranged the funeral and was the backbone for the family. I went away at the weekend to do work on my resentments with moretolife. His g...	Tracy	6	733	Nov 11, 2009 by jennifer581
	Question on Holiday Etiquette and the Substance Abuser (Preview) Hi there, What is the etiquette when an extended family member brings a sig other who abuses alcohol to a holiday meal where alcohol will be served? My daughter's husband's brother's gf has a problem with alcohol abuse (and we think pills, too) and they are coming over for Christmas dinner. We're havi...	Ambercastaway	10	1053	Nov 11, 2009 by Ambercastaway
	How do you learn to trust again? (Preview) My Husband has said he has stopped drinking for over a month now. He is not attending meetings, just doing it on his own. I have so many trust issues... I think he smells like beer so often and I accuse him of drinking, and he says he hasn't. I know in my head that this is counter productive, but I can't sto...	chloe0724	7	5010	Nov 11, 2009 by GailMichelle
	Happy Veterans Day (Preview) (((((Family)))), It is Veterans Day here in the US. To all of those who have served I thank you. To all of those who have gone before, we honor and remember you. To all of those who are serving and their families: thank you for your dedication and sacrifice. Come home safe to us. My father was a vet, hu...	Karilynn	0	538	Nov 11, 2009 by Karilynn
	CPS involved (Preview) One of my neices has been acting out in school so they took her to the councelor's office. Apparently she told some stuff about the household because CPS was called out a few days later. All the kids and the parents were brought to one of the schools, apparently to be interviewed and maybe to be examine...	smartkat	11	1049	Nov 11, 2009 by smartkat
	Update (Preview) Hi all - I read often but comment rarely. I have been on the board for several years through AH's rehab in '05, immediate relapse, chronic drinking. I asked him to leave last December and he moved out 12/26. In the entire time we were together (12.5 yrs) he was never sober for more than 2.5 months (which he...	babysteps	3	670	Nov 10, 2009 by Debilyn
	Never thought the program would change me this much (Preview) Hi family, I knew this program was going to change my life...and I knew that it was going to change me...but wow last night I didn't even recognize myself. Earlier last week a couple girls I work with asked if I wanted to go out Saturday night. I said thanks but no thanks. One of them just wouldn't let it go s...	Mandy123	4	669	Nov 10, 2009 by Maria123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.