The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I adored Xmas......loved to make it cosy, happy, and fun....it wasnt ever about stuff it was about magic
My 2 kids grew into big adult Xmas lovers.....we always kept the magic going.
Xmas of 2004 was the year we realised our son was no longer in control of his drinking or indeed his life. November of that year he lost his driving licence through drink driving. Xmas morning he went off to work, Xmas lunchtime when we were just about to sit with family to eat....he was brought home...steaming drunk and in extreme distress.....by a concerned citizen who found him sitting outside in minus 6 weather, miles from where we live, crying into his bottle. My son then told us he had lost his job a month earlier and had been pretending every day to go to work but just spent his days drinking.
My heart was broken for him..... for us.......and I proceeded to spend the intervening years making myself as sick as him and worse....Mrs Try to Fix It......I was full of fear and dread. Every Xmas has been hellish since then, its a trigger for him and a trigger for me.
WELL.....this year I have Alanon & you guys under my belt......I have been feeling pretty despondent recently, some days good, some days bad. I was wrapping some Xmas presents yesterday and found a tear dripping down my face..... BUT.....Im working my programme hard at the moment, so no projecting, no expectations.....taking it one day at a time.....It was one tear and I allowed myself that and then as I wrapped a little stocking filler for my two and a half year old grand-daughter was that a little bit of magic I felt creeping back?
Hi Ness! I'm a HUGE X-Mas person myself. I just adore it! My husband has always made my holidays hell, last year was our daughter's first Christmas and he wasn't even there to see her open the presents. He went out the night before just for a while and didn't return until the next afternoon. But, like you said, this year I have this wonderful program and I'm gonna enjoy the holidays NO MATTER WHAT!!
I'll post a pic of my X-Mas tree as soon as I have it up! Oh Christmasn is just so beautiful!!
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Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
Im not good at sharing, starting posts............I blame it on being Scottish, we tend to keep things inside , probably why we get tagged with the word brooding !!
But Im so grateful that when I do I receive support.....((((ty))))
Priscilla.....look forward to seeing your Xmas tree
