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I finally left him and I'm scared.
(Preview)
My addict boyfriend, who I live with and have been through everything with this past year, pawned everything of value I own yesterday, intending to go on a heroin binge. I got home, found it all gone, him with it, and a cocky little note- "Sorry babe, love ya". After months of skirting the iss...
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Sangyaa
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9
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899
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Need some advice and help
(Preview)
I am not sure if I am posting in the right area as I am new to this website but I hope that someone might be able to give me some direction as to where to go or some advice as to what I should do. My father in law is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober since before I knew him (about 5 years). We just found out l...
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RSFleishm
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7
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842
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I THOUGHT I'D HEARD IT ALL!!!!
(Preview)
Well my AH never ceases to amaze me.... we had a really great day today. although still living apart we are communicating well and meeting up occassionally so that i can help him with form filling etc (this is part of our separation agreement and i am ok with that because of his illiteracy). Any way......
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miss lucy
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9
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979
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How To Plant Your Garden
(Preview)
How To Plant Your Garden FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING,PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Squash selfishness PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE: 1. Lettuce be faithfu...
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Peggy7
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3
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1374
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What do I exhibit that result in people giving me all the work and the resenting me for it?
(Preview)
It seems at work that I have a tendency to step in when I see things going wrong that I step up and take care of it- often into other people's departments-particularly nursing. However, i am a social worker and as a patient advocate this does go to part of my job description. Needless to say this does not...
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Codependent
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7
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850
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Not out of the woods yet
(Preview)
Well dear family, Just when I thought I was doing so well this winter I am hit with a really toughie. I have shingles and it is quite bad. So, my immune system is not what it should be regardless of staying away from the steroids since May of last year. Feeling pretty poorly and so it is a bit of a down hill str...
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Suzannah
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6
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972
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Is this enabling?
(Preview)
My husband is serving 45 days in jail for a DUI - he is on a work-release program. He can drive himself to/from work. Unfortunately he just found out that they may not let him do that because the DMV has started the process to suspend his driver's license. A lot of people in jail take the bus to/from work, b...
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N8SMOM
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10
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850
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A V-8 Moment
(closed)
(Preview)
WOW! I wish there was an icon for smacking my head, since that is what I am doing right now! LOL! I guess now I know why people say alanoners also have relapses, because I just had a HUGE one!!! What was I doing going by what my A says about AA anyway? I have never been to an AA meeting, I should have NEVER let...
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MaryPoppins
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20
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1655
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lost it last night
(Preview)
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pineapple
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12
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1065
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Scared about our engagement (super long-- sorry)
(Preview)
Long time browser, first time poster. I guess I just need any advice or comfort that people throw at me. Background on me: never had personal experience with alcoholism until now, except in distant and dead relatives. I recently became engaged to a very nice man. We are very compatible in basic valu...
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Ferny
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9
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861
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long distance help for sibling...what can I do?
(Preview)
This is my first attempt to seek out advice on what I've known has been a problem for several years now. My brother, who lives in Las Vegas (I am in NY), and who has been in a relationship for over 30 years, has been drinking regularly and more and more heavily. His partner asked me for help a little over a y...
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bessie
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5
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719
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New term: gaslighting
(Preview)
I discovered a new term! "gas lighting" or one word, "gaslighting". (from Wikipedia) "Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. The classic e...
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intothewoods
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6
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4135
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BABY STEPS - Ebb & Flow of 24 Hours
(Preview)
Hey all: OK - so took me a bit to process my yesterday. I'll try to keep it simple, but in a nut-shell this was my yesterday. Started out 'great'. Took my oldest to his therapy appointment @ 8:15am, and we had time to stop for coffee. He viewed that as a treat, I viewed it as a necessity. Anyhow, he's soon t...
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Iamhere
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3
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600
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Need help
(Preview)
My daughter, Christina was diagnosed with Bipolar/borderline personality at age 11 and she is now 25. She struggles with depression, alcohol abuse (binge drinking) and an eating disorder. Currently, she is on medication and her eating disorder is now under control but that is when alcohol is the...
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powerlessmom
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3
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530
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(Humor) Gargling With Chamomile Tea !!!
(Preview)
Some days we need a little humor, and some jokes can make a point that we can relate to our program. To me this joke is another reminder to "Not React". I hope you enjoy it, and take it in the spirit is is intended. A woman complains to her therapist about fights and arguments between she and he...
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RLC
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2
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2398
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Taking responsibility....
(Preview)
For many years married to my exaH I complained about his complete lack of taking responsibility for himself. I am learning more and more about how my manipulation and control tactics and refusal to accept my reality, was ME not taking responsibility for MYSELF. I have not been unaware to my unhappy m...
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Rora
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5
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773
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help me
(Preview)
my daughter is in recovery and has found peace ... my struggle for acceptwnce and giving all of my control to GOD STILL is an issue .... please give me insight on how to find peace...
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bioteach
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4
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698
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It feels soooo good!
(Preview)
I spent the day yesterday cleaning out my computer room. I shredded years worth of financial documents, and cleaned out cabinets full of not-my-stuff. Much belonging to my exAH, I just piled it up and now need a big box! Considered tossing/shredding the nonessentials, but only hung onto that tho...
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Loupiness
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3
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647
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I am so confused...
(Preview)
I really need to vent about some things and I hope that you don't mind. My A has finished his treatment 2 weeks ago, but is now out of province with his parents due to legal conditions (which should be removed this week or next). We had several conversations about him coming home. He stated how scared he i...
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SheWolf
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7
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927
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what do I do? (my friend) She wants me to open up ; I'm afraid
(Preview)
I am trying to work thru this maze of dealing with my girlfriend now. I've been counseled to hang in there with her. I really want to, but I am afraid, so afraid. I feel compelled to open up to her as she asks me to. She can tell that I am avoiding her. My therapist can tell. But I am so afraid. I got close to her la...
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Carol_Lynn
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3
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842
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help me ...I have spengt the last 30 minutes talking to my daughter who is in a recovery center ... she is awesome and
(Preview)
so acceptant of God and his palns for her and I am so so distrustful, praranoid ... not so much of her .... but my lack of control in most of life's problems ...... where do I turn .. what do I do>???
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bioteach
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3
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844
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One says no..... one says yes......(easy does it!!)
(Preview)
Hi folksI posted a couple of days ago.....What would you do (regarding giving our son a replacement phone)....and you all reinforced what I knew would be my (read on!) decision. Yesterday husb asked when we were going to send Ason the phone........aaaarrrrrrghhh!! I explained I had been giving i...
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Ness
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3
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671
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What would you do?
(Preview)
Hi All.....Im stuck with what to doAson, at Christmas, had his phone stolen out his pocket while he lay in a drink induced slumber I have a pay-plan on my mobile phone which means me, husb, daughter and Ason get free calls between us all.I have an old phone I could add to the pay-plan that I could give him,...
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Ness
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10
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903
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You whooooo Diva
(Preview)
Just keep thinking about you and wondering how you are doing now? Kept up with your situation. Such a hard time. I keep ya in my prayers and thoughts. Do you feel like updating us? Spill it pretty lady, I have seen her, she is beautiful! love,debilyn
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Debilyn
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2
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715
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Interesting conversation with my 9 year old - pondering how to proceed
(Preview)
Background: My AH and I separated under less than optimal circumstances this past October. He is now living with a friend of his and we are going through the process of divorce. This has been a real rollercoaster ride for all of us. My 9 year old son and I are back in the house and we were able to quickly st...
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blender_girl
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9
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757
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Close Topic
(Preview)
HI, Just wondering if it is possible to close your own topic? Or does someone else do it? Thanx
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Sam72
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3
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773
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Keep it Simple...
(Preview)
Aloha Family, hope you're all feeling great. Just wanted to share the slogan that we did our morning meeting on. I reflected on when I got here and when I took the suggestions to learn, memorize and practice the slogans. I also remember "gettin it" on "keep it simple" as a pra...
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Jerry F
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9
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1220
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my life is not how i imagined
(Preview)
So it's been whirlwind lately and I have craziness on top of craziness. The ex finally left yesterday to go to California to live with the next ex/new girlfriend. Maybe this one can save him? I'm being facetious of course. She's very nice and tolerant so maybe it'll last for a bit. My oldest daughter...
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carolinagirl
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8
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881
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Pretty much just a vent
(Preview)
Ok family I have had a couple of rough days with some shinny spots. My son got a dui last week he is already on very supervised probation. Following the DUI (which I knew nothing about at the time) I answered the door in my jammies and here was his PO. They asked if he was here and I looked over to see if h...
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fishinmama
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3
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675
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Saturday
(Preview)
http://africantortoise.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_navId=x475d1134
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Debilyn
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5
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738
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One more thing...
(Preview)
I do enjoy talking to him from rehab and he has asked me to come see him, but admitting that I am powerless over my feelings for him and that he does not feel that way toward me....I am thinking that means no calls and no visits....do I have to broach this via phone or do you think a text is just way too chicken t...
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Codependent
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4
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606
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The Chatter in my Brain --- The Pain in my Heart
(Preview)
Hello to all and I'm very grateful I found you! My story is not unique at all but I'm having a very difficult time channeling the chatter in my head and aligning that with my heart. I am fortunate (or not) to qualify for this program as well as AA. I found AA in 1985, and have been blessed with 24 years clean a...
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Iamhere
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15
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906
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enabling
(Preview)
This is a jump off from another post about enabling. This has been tough for me to figure out. Am I helping or enabling? I often don't know. But Jerry posted a reply to that thread which made such sense to me. I wish I had figured it out by myself. He said ¨What I learned was If the person lacked the time, abil...
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pineapple
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3
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774
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advice needed...
(Preview)
Hello all! I'm new to this forum. I am 23 years old and have been living with an alcoholic mother my whole life. She has been abusive both verbally and mentally. I am in college so I only see her in the summer and during vacations but I have so much anger towards her and what she did to me that I find it hard to ta...
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Caton
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5
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854
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update on taking step-mom's dog last year
(Preview)
Sometime ago I told you that I had taken my step mother's dog. I had misgivings at the time, but my A father was cruel to the dog and she was not getting out from under an old sideboard in the sitting room. I have no regrets for taking her. She has brought such joy to my life, she stopped losing her hair, I think...
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maire rua
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8
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841
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Progress
(Preview)
((((((((((Hello Friends)))))))), I have had a couple of rough days lately for some reason my husband has been on my mind alot.....as I watch my daughter take her journey in life...I am so proud of her..she is a wonderful mom....going to college full time and working a part time job..she has made so muc...
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Andrea12
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3
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461
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The woman in the mirror
(Preview)
I never had a particularly good self image. Sure i can put makeup on and dress nicely. Other people have said I am pretty, got lovely eyes etc. but I never believed any of it I've just been watching a re-run of one of Gok Wan's how to look good naked programmes. He was helping a lady, who had been through...
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miss lucy
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2
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728
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I'm scared...need ESH
(Preview)
Hi all-- My AH moved out finally Dec 31 and quite honestly, my life has been full of peace, serenity, independence, and in a word: bliss. I am sleeping, my eating is under control, I am more focused, I'm tons more productive at home, and most importantly I feel more connected to and more patient with my ch...
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3littlekittens
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7
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777
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Attitude is everything.
(Preview)
I am tryng to change my attitude from "its not fair", "poor me" to accepting what is my lot today. I know it is far far better than it was 3 years ago. My reflex thoughts are always its not fair and poor me so I have to take it second by second and I am finding it very hard going. No wonder...
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maresie
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6
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1069
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just need to vent!
(Preview)
AH is seriously testing my patience today....non stop text messages...indirect messages through other people....questions, questions, questions! of course i haven't let him know he is getting to me...i haven't entered into the arguement he is trying to cause....i haven't even answered his...
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miss lucy
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0
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447
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New Eden Addition
(Preview)
Retired from rescuing the big kids, horses, llamas, pigs huge and small. BUT have always wanted a tortoise in my life. So an opportunity came up to rescue one. He is only about a hundred pounds now, lives in my living room. lol I was going to make a bedroom just for him but decided heck with that, I don't wa...
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Debilyn
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10
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775
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Practicing Keeping Quiet
(Preview)
I know my daughter is an A and I`am trying not to engage in any more arguments with her. I really only want to talk to her about my grandaughter who she has custody of. This 6 year old has heard us have many an argument but mostly sees her mother scream and rage. Over X-mass I heard my daughter call me the filth...
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Samsgram
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2
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1185
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New Year and new way of facing life.. thanks to Al-Anon
(Preview)
I just wanted to share the changes I have gone through since starting to work my program. I am really taking the idea of taking care of me seriously. I have gone to a Dr. and had a full check up, which doesnt sound like much but the thought of doing that always scared me before..(better not to know type thin...
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Suzi1965
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2
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764
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Happy Birthday Christy (Cjo)
(Preview)
Hey Christy!!!! Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday :) Hope its a good one for you!! ((((((((hugs))))))))) Kerry
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kerry5
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16
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980
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Detachment - Why Harder for one than another?
(Preview)
Hey all: I'm sitting here, tears and all trying to write my post. I guess since I've got 2 Active As in my home, I am extremely powerless. At times, I feel so powerless and confused, action is difficult. I did go to a meeting last night, and that was a good thing. I tried to go today, however the Ason got pu...
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Iamhere
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8
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887
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creativity triumphs!!!!
(Preview)
hello again...am back feeling much better than when i last posted. have had a good sleep and the meds kicked in so have eaten (first time since yesterday morning). thanks to all who posted hugs.....really appreciated them. Special thanks to Hotrod for reminding me of the unconditional love i get...
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miss lucy
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3
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683
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Ways to deal with resentments???? Need some input.....
(Preview)
After talking to an old friend this am, I realized that I am still holding on to a tremendously large amount of resentments when it comes to my older brothers, for a variety of reasons, many to do with regards to my 77 year old mother, whom I am very close to. My friend suggested communication on all of our p...
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shellyj123
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5
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756
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divorce after 11 years of marriage...how to let go
(Preview)
I am struggling with everything right now. My world as I knew it has been turned upside down and inside out. I am having trouble letting go. We have been together since I was 14 years old and married for 11 years. I am currently going through a divorce. He has committed the ultimate betrayal. Last nig...
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brightmommy
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12
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1240
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am not feeling great today -
(Preview)
I NEED A HUG!!! i have been doing so well....but today i feel like throwing the towel in and returning to AH....i know i shouldn't for my sake as much as his. My IBS symptoms have presented themselves again (presumably due to the stress and the cold weather) and i feel lousy...weak....useless. i am tu...
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miss lucy
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7
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799
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MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME
(Preview)
good morning all......01.00 and i can't sleep....am busy finishing today's task of writing the next chapter of my novel, a task that should have been finished almost 2 years ago but AH stopped me working on the computer because he needed...well you know how that one goes! now i am in my own place i can d...
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miss lucy
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3
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504
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Step Two Help - Restoring myself to sanity
(Preview)
I have had so much going on in my life besides my ex A leaving me last month. My best friend has cancer, my ex-husband is on a rampage about my daughter and it just seems like life gets crazier every day. My sponsor said I am doing a good job at giving others in my life over to my HP - but not myself. How do I ask fo...
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jasobel
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5
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527
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Sleepless Night
(Preview)
-Not a good night. -Empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. -Watching it all fall apart. I can't / don't want to discuss it right now. But, I guess you've all been there before. After not much sleep, I took my 20 minute drive to the MARC station to go to work. Waited around 15 minutes and got an announcement...
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Charlie
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6
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806
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BEING ME IS OK
(Preview)
I am finding that being me is OK. I am getting more comfortable in my own skin! I have had many setbacks in my recovery but today is a great day. The sun is shining & it is not cold up here. We have had unusually warm temps. for January so far. Too all who have been suffering from really bad weather, I fee...
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Hoot Nanny
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8
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1014
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I am a roadblock to myself...
(Preview)
Arrrggg The past few days have been rough I have had a lot of breakthroughs about myself from this forum and general self- assessment, but Im feeling a little battered because I see the problems (enabling, codepend, self esteem, etc.) but cant work through the solutions yet. I really need to start...
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Festfan
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3
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686
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I told him i loved him and then i walked away
(Preview)
I did it, Its been two weeks since i kicked him out and four days since i called it quits. He called last night asking to come home.... He said he would do out patient and go to meetings if he could just come home. I want him to do inpatient so i can see that getting better is something he is serious about... i al...
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tryingtofindaway2009
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7
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961
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Detachment, boundaries and guilt-
(Preview)
I genuinely believe, especially after this week, that my HP leads me right where I need to be, right when I need to be there. Not in my time-but always in His. To make a long story short, I set some boundaries this week-probally my first that I can really remember setting and thinking "I need to do th...
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shellyj123
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4
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2165
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It's been a while - and I'm finally happy!!!!
(Preview)
Hi my friends. My last post on here was May 16th, 2008. I had just kicked out my husband, (AH) and I was nervous about starting over. I was living in Denver, CO then, finishing my Medical Assisting degree. Well almost a year after that post I graduated, and moved back to NY with my family. Since then I...
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CJ098
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4
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758
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PAIN
(Preview)
Last night a very good friend called on me to bring me a gift, to ask how I was doing and to talk with me about my possible input in our community - we meet every other week to discuss various topics and work out how we can support each other through our life journeys. One of the topics that has been chosen is PA...
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Suzannah
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5
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1023
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New and scared
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, infact, last night I went to my first meeting. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect, but it went well! Everyone was very welcoming and I learned a few things! Now the scary part is trying to accept the fact that I need help and can't do this on my own. I've always been the ty...
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HawkRN
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9
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587
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I am the problem
(Preview)
Lately I've been given many opportunities to become aware of my self pity. My distorted belief system where a basic precept exists: I am unworthy and undeserving and simply LESS than. I navigate life based on this belief and my self-esteem issues and insecurities bloom. This keeps me stuck in my sel...
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RunnerChick
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7
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840
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