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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Pretty much just a vent
Post Info TOPIC: Pretty much just a vent
fishinmama


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Pretty much just a vent
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Ok family I have had a couple of rough days with some shinny spots.  My son got a dui last week he is already on very supervised probation.  Following the DUI (which I knew nothing about at the time) I answered the door in my jammies and here was his PO.  They asked if he was here and I looked over to see if his rig was here and said no.  I think by my reaction they knew I knew nothing about it and left.  Then son called and said yea was in trouble and gave me the low down

Son showed up here 2 nights ago and said I am turning myself in tomorrow.  Tomorrow is here and he took off with a friend, before I could tell him today get it done or don't come back he left with friend.  I know in my heart I am afraid to let him stay here anymore until he gets the trouble straight.  I am afraid I will get into some kind of harboring trouble and besides that it really is not what I believe in which is more you did the crime,now pay the fine.  So have that conversation looming.

 Enter daughter, I asked her a smiple question and got a look that if looks could kill.  I let her have it told her to fo.  She pretty much gave me a round of crap, went to her bedroom and started to cry.

I had been cleaning the livingroom and went in to deposit her junk that I had picked up and  said, When was the last time you did any dishes fed the dogs etc? Said I didn't want to talk to her in the way I did but she was putting her train wreck in the middle of my life and home.  I said you are raised, I am sick, and can't do all the things I did while you were growing up. I feel invaded.  Appropiate? honestly I don't know.  I really felt like saying more but shut up and left the room. She just did dishes but the tone in the house is quiet.  I first came to alanon so many years ago because of my son.  In my humble opinion detaching from my kids has been the most difficult.

I'm fired up and don't feel good.  I am here to see if just the practice of writing to you will give me some peace before I go in and read some things to bring me closer to my higher power than i am feeling  and lay down.

Suggestions are always welcome.  I am grateful you are here.

OH wait, I forgot the bright spots....Went to the docs and ears are ok. One we are going to try some kind of drops in and see if that helps or might have to have some minor procedure done...but the main infection seems to be slowly clearing...I will try to give that alot more of my focus.  All? don't know if I am quite there yet.

Peace,

fishinmama



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Andrea12


~*Service Worker*~

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(((((((((((Fishinmama)))))))))),

Wow are you living in my house????   My daughter is the same kind of messy kid, where it is laid it stays....it also makes me crazy.

Hope all goes well with your son, and I hope you feel better..

Peace back at ya,
Andrea

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Tomorrow is not a guarantee enjoy today
Debilyn


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I tell ya, kids ack!!

Once I read something and realized that even when things are all drama and icky, it is ok to take the kid and go get an ice cream cone, feed the ducks, go snoop in a thrift shop, whatever. Just lighten things up between us. And it worked.

Does not matter what age your kids are, still are your kids!

I can tell you when you go camping and it is your sons b day, (before I was a JW) and he is being such a turkey, it is NOT ok to throw his cake in his face. lol lol

lol he told me recently, he is 33 now, that I was right, he was being a jerk. hahahaha

So I invite you to go to her room, knock on the door, say sweetheart put some shoes on and lets go get an ice cream. Just come on.

Even if she complains, I learned to watch what they do, ignore what they say. Everyone likes ice cream, except for me it is Soy Dream....

hugs,debilyn



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"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Iamhere


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Your vent is kind of close to my world, yesterday - may today be better!

I appreciate you sharing as it helps me know I am not alone with the chaos.

Kids do present a whole new opportunity to examine my sanity - or lack of.

Thank you for sharing and <<<<Hugs>>>>.

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
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