Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Wife has been in a good mood lately and quite tolerable and easy to communicate with, so I noticed I was feeling happier these days. Ok, probably fairly normal thing, but it struck me that I've got to learn to feel this good regardless of her mood. I've been codependant on her moods that affected how I f...

tlcate · tlcate

I am exhausted but I can't quit smiling. I am in my new home - the first one that I own - a week today. IT IS GORGEOUS!!! I just registered for college with my daughter, she and I are both going. I turn 40 next week and I will quit smoking then and have no fear that I will succeed at that. I have already cut bac...

member922 · member922

Hi again. I am trying so hard to detach from my A. I am finding that no contact seems to work the best. Myself and my children are the most important people in my life and I refuse to let this person be around my children and witness his using and moods. He hasn't met them yet and the way things are, he never...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

... AH has been more like his old self lately although has never stopped drinking - just less and beer instead of brandy. He even took Son over to local pub/bar to play/shoot pool on Wed evening. He has also been talking about how we should celebrate our 40th wedding anniversay in Jan 2012 (like we have so...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

Hi everyone, Just been thinking about all my relationships. After 2 failed marriages, another broken engagement, and now an engagement on the rocks, not to mention all the relationships before and in between.... I've come far enough in life to know that simply changing partners won't change my pr...

Megthompson · Megthompson

Hi All, Just to share with you last Friday the first Al Anon meeting took place in Lusaka, Zambia, Africa.It was great.We had 4 people, 2 with previous Al Anon experience. It was scary for me to be Chairing this meeting as it was my first time to attend a F2F meeting but it was just great. Then Saturday I got...

Hoping for Happiness · Hoping for Happiness

Any advice would be appreciated. I have been married 6 years, together 9. My husband's drinking has gotten so much worse in the last year. He told me he'd stop and go to meetings, etc. He admits he has a problem (his father was a violent alcoholic). He just switched to hiding his drinking and lying a...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi Family, Its been a while since I posted here but today I really needed a safe place to come and release. I have reunited with my ABF since June. He has gone back to his AA meetings. He is coming up on 20 yrs without a drop of alcohol but not much in the way of recovery. It is only these last months that he has ho...

KidSupport · KidSupport

Admist all of the emotions that come up when alcoholism or addiction has entered a family there are many questions about how to deal with it when it comes to the children. The good news is there are resources to help guide parents through this difficult process. check out this website http://www.pav...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Last night I was on the phone with my AH. It became obvious after a time that he was trying to bait me into a fight about money. I remained as zen and as detached as I possibly could, and refused to engage in the drama. It felt so good! Thank you, Al Anon and MIP. This was but a step on a long, endless journey,...

member922 · member922

It has been a week since I have been with my Abf alone. We were supposed to have a date last night. I cried my eyes out of course. Still wishing he would email me or something. Then again, I hope he doesn't. Plus I had to have a gynelogical procedure yesterday. Nothing too major I guess, but still a rud...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Thank you all for your support. The past couple days have been really hard, especially since I'm having a difficult time completely letting go of my A ex. Fortunately I have pneumonia and my parents won't let me leave the house. I know it sounds weird that I'm grateful to be so sick, but it is preventing m...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I sure don't know how you guys who live with so much stress do it. I have been very fortunate since AH has been gone, to have a pretty mellow life. Of course some hard times, but nothing like what it is like to live with or have an A involved in your life. My mortgage advocate called. The good news is the mortga...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Yesterday was a long story. To make it short, because of the weather and my bad decision making skills, I got to work late, had to take my son to school in the middle of my work morning because school was delayed (For an inch of snow) and then felt like a chump because people at work had to watch the front des...

ntxalanon · ntxalanon

I have been in Al-Anon off and on for about a yr. the last 2 months going weekly 2-3X's a week and I am struggling with suspicion. My AH wife is in recovery and attending AA regularly, but at night time lately her voice just seems off and I instantly have my stomach sinking feeling and start analyzying. It i...

Tracy · Tracy

I gain more and more of an insight that this really is an illness the longer I am with my ABF. he was sober for 6 months last year. then he drank when his nephew died it started to progress over 9 months then bang another big rock bottom I stayed out of the way thanks to Al anon. He put him self in rehab god lov...

kath · kath

Praise God for my life. Am so happy to have my three most precious beautiful daughters. Am so blessed by nature. It is a free art show, just looking up to the sky. Am so blessed by music. It is a free concert as I drive in my car, or as I clean this messy house! There are many other wonderful things to praise, an...

babysteps · babysteps

I haven't been around in a while. Been trying to get divorced from my AH for 2 years now. The latest hold up is him giving the wrong wedding date at the deposition. Since it didn't match the actual date everything is on hold until he comes from out of state to sign something stating the correct date. I don' t...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife expressed to me on Saturday night that she is "done" with alcohol. She didn't say it in a boastful or arrogant way. It was as if she was finally surrending. This was after a bad night on Friday where she drank heavily. She basically just seems to have given in--she said she is done lying...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Wife was in a bad mood and started in on me over the phone. Rather than argue, defend etc. I said "You are upsetting me, I have to go now" and hung up the phone. When I got home she acted like nothing happened but was warily checking me out to see if I was mad, which I wasn't by then. Problem is the kn...

member922 · member922

I just started reading this book and came across something so true and fitting for me. When describing codependence there were a lot of familiar traits. The one that hit me the most said, "an ongoing whirlwind trip through the five-stage grief process". So true. Ugh. Totally hit home....

maresie · maresie

At this time of year I am normally really enmeshed in feeling sorry for myself. I am also usually reliving the relationship I had with my two sisters when all our sibling rivalry erupted! Who got what, who did what and how unfair it was pretty much 24/7 for an eternity! I can reproduce my sisters quit...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Good morning Alanon friends & family, Yesterday was my 11 year anniversary and as I awake today with the reality that there may not be a 12th. What started as a quiet and peaceful day with much promise ended with much sadness & lots of questions. Our anniversary as well as 5 years of sobriety c...

bud · bud

This morning, I was rambling through my bookcase looking for a particular book and came across a picture my daughter drew in her late elementary years. It is an awesome detailed pencil sketch of my exha standing behind me with his arms around mine. His head is tenderly bent forward caressing mine. ...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Today I finalized my breakup with my a bf by giving him back some stuff of his that was at my house. I have never hurt more in my life. I was on my final leg with him because his using has gotten out of control and I just can't do it anymore. At first he was really upset and saying little things to try and hurt me. B...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I woke this morning very conscious that my peace of mind was askew. I abruptly stopped and sat down and counted to ten, then I gave myself a serious talking too.Don't Lose Your Peace of MindWHY was my peace of mind gone? WHY was I struggling? Over time I have realised it is usually because I want to chang...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

What would you do if you were a trade union steward and were representing someone who had been sent home from work, twice, because they smelled of alcohol? They sit and tell you over and over that it is untrue; they are very aggrieved by the accusations. However, you know from personal experience that p...

stephaniej · stephaniej

It's been a rough day here at casa del stephaniej, and it occurs to me that it would be tremendously uplifting to hear stories of others' successes and triumphs. I don't necessarily mean the big "Al Anon made my life awesome" stories...I think I mean something more like "this is how I...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I KNOW I am not supposed to be counting bottles, but I am. I am because if I decide to leave, I want to make sure he IS drinking. I also want to have "evidence" so I can make sure he gets no overnight visits with the kids. -AH progressive active alcoholic for 4 years. -Admitted it and got sober for...

New member · Lila Frost

Hello! I really don't know where to start with my story. I have an ex-H who in his words self-medicated for his anxiety with alcohol and prescription meds. He has had extreme anxiety since childhood and has been on many different medications for this over the years.We were together for 10 years befo...

Jerry F · Jerry F

my pride and ego. It was my decision and my choice and my responsibility so in order to get uninterrupted sleep I took a sleep aid last night. When I take this sleep aid I get to stay down/under (not Australia) longer and then slog thru the waking up swamp process as I fight to become full conscious. Wit...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

So today I did something really stupid. For the first time in my twenty years of life, I lied to my mom. I never lie to my parents. I got in a little arguement with my mom earlier today. I have been sick with pneumonia the past two weeks and she's sick of me complaining I guess. My mom has lymphoma which has sli...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...this Tiger is called loneliness. You'd think that after twenty years of marriage to a violent AH who served so much time away from home whilst I brought up the family the best I could AND worked full time and had two other jobs to try to make ends meet; and then twenty years of living alone after our divo...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), I talked to Tim's Dad yesterday. It's always a bit bittersweet as he sounds just like his son. I was asking about Tim's favorite aunt (mine too), Aunt Linda. Well she's not doing so good. She fell and broke her hip and last week she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This breaks my he...

RLC · RLC

I want to share this with everyone. This afternoon I was walking my two Black Labs Ellie and Daisy when I noticed a piece of yellow 8x10 paper that somehow had blown into my yard. As I reached down to pick it up I noticed it contained a note from a very young girl probably 6 years old to her boyfriend. I read th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I find myself struggling today, and questioning my HP or any HP at this point. I went to visit my Uncle again yesterday. For those who don't know...he has lung cancer and his wife is failing mentally. Fifty five years together, 4 kids of their own, 3 adopted children, a life lived mostly in church wit...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((Family)))))))), I have no idea what is going on in my town. It is a small town but Dear God drugs are destroying it. Once again tonight, two young people od'd. I do not know how they are as far as I know they are alive by a string. What the hell is going on???? This is becoming a weekend ritual in t...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Boy am I feeling the affects of not having been to a meeting. Either for health reasons or I have been busy over the past week. I find myself wanting to scream at my daughter... Usually I can control the unrest and sometimes even feel bad for her but when I see that she is not caring for my gd something inside...

p_rlong · p_rlong

I am almost 65 years old and my father has been gone for almost 5 years now. He was not a physically violent alchoholic, but was verbally abusive and always demanding perfection. Of me, that is. Not so with my sis (4 years younger) and brother (9 years younger). Nothing I ever did was good enough for him. E...

Ness · Ness

My son has been dry and in a recovery programme since June. Contact has been sporadic with him, short catch up chats kind of thing. We visited him a few months ago and took him out for a meal, his hands were trembling and his concentration span was short (nothing unusual in early recovery).He phoned me th...

Aloha · Aloha

Those sweet words that are the siren call to the co-dependent. I really got to experience how well my recovery is working this morning. Those words don't draw me in any more. I talked on the phone for a little while with my exAH and wanted to see if I could get rid of a couple of outdoor lounge chairs that I di...

Katy · Katy

I Love search for the hero inside yourself, and How do you like your eggs in the morning, I like mine with a smile! Katyx

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I agreed to let him have visitation on his own (DA basically said judge would award it anyways since my son can talk) 4 hours .. 8 hours .. and soon over nights should start. Well they should have started 2 weeks ago but for some reason A thinks it's this month. So I've just let him believe that. Anyways the f...

Suzannah · Suzannah

When I went away I had to go because I found that I was not fully concentrating on the issues that I needed to sort out for myself, in myself. I was loathe to do that at first for it meant that I had to leave my amazing Sponsor behind too, as well as this family. This is what it meant to me. I had to believe in me...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I know that it is already getting better! thanks for the prayers & best wishes! You have called it: I am resilient! I have always felt like that. I have always hung in there for the better--it just seemed like sometimes it wasn't going to. It is getting closer to my Alanon birthday: January 4th. I am...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

this is gonna be a quick note for all of you who may be thinking about me & even to those who aren't. I am doing pretty well although I had to make an emergency appt. w/ my surgeon on Tuesday the 2nd. Anyhow, the appt. went well. I am OK but behind in my recovery. I actually was starting to get depressed &am...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I actually was aware of experiencing joy last night. I have a Black Shih Tzu named, Blacky....of course...daughter named him. He is the cutest most affectionate dog I've ever known. Well at night it seems he releases his pent up energy and runs around the house like nut and attacks (playfully) anyt...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Good morning! Just a reminder that those of you who observe Daylight Savings Time, you need to set your clocks back 1 hour before going to bed tonight. That means I get an extra hour of vacation! That means we get an extra hour of sleep, providing Miss Pipers allows that. What's...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Tomorrow is my son's 2nd birthday...we are going to visit my dad & his wife to celebrate...many people from my side of the family will be there and my wife is stressing big time... Many members of my family abuse alcohol so I'm sure there will be a lot of booze there...No one in my family knows about my...

stephaniej · stephaniej

My older kids will be with their dad this weekend, so it will just be me and the baby. I'm trying to make enough plans for the weekend so that I stay sufficiently occupied with things other than my obsession. I will NOT text and call my AH obsessively, trying to create "opportunities" for him t...

Hopeless · Hopeless

and it didn't go the way I expected = ( It was voting time and they were having elections = ( Someone did come up to me and explained that it wasn't a typical meeting and to please come back next Wednesday so that is what I'm going to do....

kerry5 · kerry5

Business Meeting Sunday, Agenda Meeting Schedule Vote for room preditor If you have anything you would like added to the agenda please contact me. Thanks Kerry (aka kerisha)

hfrush · hfrush

Today my mother made it her mission to make me feel like the lowest piece of scum this planet has ever seen. I have been called so many names today and have been told that I am a terrible, selfish person.Even though I am hurting I know that she didn't really mean what she said to me but still I am finding it ha...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I got a scolding letter from my brother today. He said that I "served him up to his PO", and therefore he will get the extended time in Jail becuase of what my dad and I told his PO. He's mad that I didn't lie about his drinking. Let the silent treatment begin.

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I am working really hard, and have come to step 4 but haven't tackled it yet, or embraced it or whatever you want to say. The thing is, the person I do photography with, the person I invited to work with me in my business is causing me to relapse a bit. I asked her to work with me. Then I allowed her to take ov...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

One thing I'm still confused about is how to respond when I find my wife drunk (hasn't happened in a while, fortunately!). For a while I just sort of thought I would ignore it; now I'm wondering if that does more harm than good. My thoughts at this point are--don't say anything while they are drunk, when t...

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

After 9 days of sobriety, my AH relapsed -- HARD. The sobriety came from him being on such a long, hard binge that his body literally started breaking down. He has blood pressure and cholesterol issues as it is and has been an alcoholic for over 20 years (sometimes worse than others). He got scared th...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Never feel particularly joyful these days but there's been no negatives to speak of and there have been some moments, even hours of enjoyment here and there. Exercising at night has been good. It clears my head and tires me out for bedtime. I've been a little more productive with somethings too, n...

furno78 · furno78

Hi this is going to be a long post so I hope someone will take the time to read it and help me. I have been Married for the past year and a half and I have been with him nearly 5 years. I feel like I have married 2 people 1 who I adore the most amazing kind hearted man I have ever met and the other I cant even stomach. H...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Hey everyone. I really appreciate all the help and support I have recieved from all of you. I have been struggling a lot these past couple days. I broke up with my addict boyfriend of about a year yesterday because he started using again. I have found it so hard to stay away from him and not talk to him. He li...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Felt good for the wrong reasons..... (Preview) Wife has been in a good mood lately and quite tolerable and easy to communicate with, so I noticed I was feeling happier these days. Ok, probably fairly normal thing, but it struck me that I've got to learn to feel this good regardless of her mood. I've been codependant on her moods that affected how I f...	mjhyankees	10	1113	Nov 11, 2010 by Ginger90
	An object in motion . . . (Preview) I am exhausted but I can't quit smiling. I am in my new home - the first one that I own - a week today. IT IS GORGEOUS!!! I just registered for college with my daughter, she and I are both going. I turn 40 next week and I will quit smoking then and have no fear that I will succeed at that. I have already cut bac...	tlcate	6	494	Nov 11, 2010 by tiredtonite
	How do you not get drawn back in? (Preview) Hi again. I am trying so hard to detach from my A. I am finding that no contact seems to work the best. Myself and my children are the most important people in my life and I refuse to let this person be around my children and witness his using and moods. He hasn't met them yet and the way things are, he never...	member922	18	1197	Nov 11, 2010 by kitty
	Just when you think things are getting better (Preview) ... AH has been more like his old self lately although has never stopped drinking - just less and beer instead of brandy. He even took Son over to local pub/bar to play/shoot pool on Wed evening. He has also been talking about how we should celebrate our 40th wedding anniversay in Jan 2012 (like we have so...	Tattyhead	8	600	Nov 11, 2010 by Emi
	I keep getting into the same kinds of relationships, what is wrong with ME? (Preview) Hi everyone, Just been thinking about all my relationships. After 2 failed marriages, another broken engagement, and now an engagement on the rocks, not to mention all the relationships before and in between.... I've come far enough in life to know that simply changing partners won't change my pr...	oklahoma momof5	13	844	Nov 11, 2010 by kitty
	FIRST AL ANON MEETING LUSAKA ZAMBIA AFRCIA, SO EXCITED!!!! (Preview) Hi All, Just to share with you last Friday the first Al Anon meeting took place in Lusaka, Zambia, Africa.It was great.We had 4 people, 2 with previous Al Anon experience. It was scary for me to be Chairing this meeting as it was my first time to attend a F2F meeting but it was just great. Then Saturday I got...	Megthompson	8	688	Nov 11, 2010 by kitty
	I don't know what I am doing (Preview) Any advice would be appreciated. I have been married 6 years, together 9. My husband's drinking has gotten so much worse in the last year. He told me he'd stop and go to meetings, etc. He admits he has a problem (his father was a violent alcoholic). He just switched to hiding his drinking and lying a...	Hoping for Happiness	3	1044	Nov 11, 2010 by member922
	Frustrated with the Dry Drunk (Preview) Hi Family, Its been a while since I posted here but today I really needed a safe place to come and release. I have reunited with my ABF since June. He has gone back to his AA meetings. He is coming up on 20 yrs without a drop of alcohol but not much in the way of recovery. It is only these last months that he has ho...	Saved By Grace	3	870	Nov 10, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	How to talk to kids about alcholism/addiction? (Preview) Admist all of the emotions that come up when alcoholism or addiction has entered a family there are many questions about how to deal with it when it comes to the children. The good news is there are resources to help guide parents through this difficult process. check out this website http://www.pav...	KidSupport	2	701	Nov 10, 2010 by abbyal
	Sharing a small victory (Preview) Last night I was on the phone with my AH. It became obvious after a time that he was trying to bait me into a fight about money. I remained as zen and as detached as I possibly could, and refused to engage in the drama. It felt so good! Thank you, Al Anon and MIP. This was but a step on a long, endless journey,...	stephaniej	5	507	Nov 10, 2010 by stephaniej
	Anyone stuck in the grieving process? (Preview) It has been a week since I have been with my Abf alone. We were supposed to have a date last night. I cried my eyes out of course. Still wishing he would email me or something. Then again, I hope he doesn't. Plus I had to have a gynelogical procedure yesterday. Nothing too major I guess, but still a rud...	member922	4	484	Nov 10, 2010 by member922
	Trying to deal (Preview) Thank you all for your support. The past couple days have been really hard, especially since I'm having a difficult time completely letting go of my A ex. Fortunately I have pneumonia and my parents won't let me leave the house. I know it sounds weird that I'm grateful to be so sick, but it is preventing m...	Brookiebabe222	3	670	Nov 10, 2010 by xeno59
	little update (Preview) I sure don't know how you guys who live with so much stress do it. I have been very fortunate since AH has been gone, to have a pretty mellow life. Of course some hard times, but nothing like what it is like to live with or have an A involved in your life. My mortgage advocate called. The good news is the mortga...	lyndebi	8	401	Nov 10, 2010 by lyndebi
	Not taking it personally...thank you all!! Grateful! (Preview) Yesterday was a long story. To make it short, because of the weather and my bad decision making skills, I got to work late, had to take my son to school in the middle of my work morning because school was delayed (For an inch of snow) and then felt like a chump because people at work had to watch the front des...	sunflowergirl	3	1213	Nov 9, 2010 by xeno59
	Suspicion (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon off and on for about a yr. the last 2 months going weekly 2-3X's a week and I am struggling with suspicion. My AH wife is in recovery and attending AA regularly, but at night time lately her voice just seems off and I instantly have my stomach sinking feeling and start analyzying. It i...	ntxalanon	7	1069	Nov 9, 2010 by xeno59
	drop like flies (Preview) I gain more and more of an insight that this really is an illness the longer I am with my ABF. he was sober for 6 months last year. then he drank when his nephew died it started to progress over 9 months then bang another big rock bottom I stayed out of the way thanks to Al anon. He put him self in rehab god lov...	Tracy	3	709	Nov 9, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Praise for my life (Preview) Praise God for my life. Am so happy to have my three most precious beautiful daughters. Am so blessed by nature. It is a free art show, just looking up to the sky. Am so blessed by music. It is a free concert as I drive in my car, or as I clean this messy house! There are many other wonderful things to praise, an...	kath	8	759	Nov 9, 2010 by RLC
	Not to be a downer but... (Preview) I haven't been around in a while. Been trying to get divorced from my AH for 2 years now. The latest hold up is him giving the wrong wedding date at the deposition. Since it didn't match the actual date everything is on hold until he comes from out of state to sign something stating the correct date. I don' t...	babysteps	5	709	Nov 9, 2010 by Jerry F
	My wife seems to have had a breakthrough--now what? (Preview) My wife expressed to me on Saturday night that she is "done" with alcohol. She didn't say it in a boastful or arrogant way. It was as if she was finally surrending. This was after a bad night on Friday where she drank heavily. She basically just seems to have given in--she said she is done lying...	usedtobeanyer	11	1038	Nov 9, 2010 by usedtobeanyer
	handling things better....still a ways to go. (Preview) Wife was in a bad mood and started in on me over the phone. Rather than argue, defend etc. I said "You are upsetting me, I have to go now" and hung up the phone. When I got home she acted like nothing happened but was warily checking me out to see if I was mad, which I wasn't by then. Problem is the kn...	mjhyankees	7	609	Nov 9, 2010 by stephaniej
	Interesting- from Codependent No More (Preview) I just started reading this book and came across something so true and fitting for me. When describing codependence there were a lot of familiar traits. The one that hit me the most said, "an ongoing whirlwind trip through the five-stage grief process". So true. Ugh. Totally hit home....	member922	5	817	Nov 9, 2010 by stephaniej
	The holidays without a catastophe! (Preview) At this time of year I am normally really enmeshed in feeling sorry for myself. I am also usually reliving the relationship I had with my two sisters when all our sibling rivalry erupted! Who got what, who did what and how unfair it was pretty much 24/7 for an eternity! I can reproduce my sisters quit...	maresie	5	592	Nov 9, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Emerging in a new reality... (Preview) Good morning Alanon friends & family, Yesterday was my 11 year anniversary and as I awake today with the reality that there may not be a 12th. What started as a quiet and peaceful day with much promise ended with much sadness & lots of questions. Our anniversary as well as 5 years of sobriety c...	AlaMom	6	869	Nov 9, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	letting go (Preview) This morning, I was rambling through my bookcase looking for a particular book and came across a picture my daughter drew in her late elementary years. It is an awesome detailed pencil sketch of my exha standing behind me with his arms around mine. His head is tenderly bent forward caressing mine. ...	bud	3	926	Nov 9, 2010 by babysteps
	Wow this sucks (Preview) Today I finalized my breakup with my a bf by giving him back some stuff of his that was at my house. I have never hurt more in my life. I was on my final leg with him because his using has gotten out of control and I just can't do it anymore. At first he was really upset and saying little things to try and hurt me. B...	Brookiebabe222	7	821	Nov 9, 2010 by member922
	Hey - stop behaving like a child, chill, trust, work and then wait! (Preview) I woke this morning very conscious that my peace of mind was askew. I abruptly stopped and sat down and counted to ten, then I gave myself a serious talking too.Don't Lose Your Peace of MindWHY was my peace of mind gone? WHY was I struggling? Over time I have realised it is usually because I want to chang...	Suzannah	6	870	Nov 9, 2010 by susie56543
	Bit different problem (Preview) What would you do if you were a trade union steward and were representing someone who had been sent home from work, twice, because they smelled of alcohol? They sit and tell you over and over that it is untrue; they are very aggrieved by the accusations. However, you know from personal experience that p...	Tattyhead	4	771	Nov 9, 2010 by bud
	Can we all share a small victory/triumph? (Preview) It's been a rough day here at casa del stephaniej, and it occurs to me that it would be tremendously uplifting to hear stories of others' successes and triumphs. I don't necessarily mean the big "Al Anon made my life awesome" stories...I think I mean something more like "this is how I...	stephaniej	14	891	Nov 8, 2010 by member922
	Need someone to pound it into my head, I guess (Preview) I KNOW I am not supposed to be counting bottles, but I am. I am because if I decide to leave, I want to make sure he IS drinking. I also want to have "evidence" so I can make sure he gets no overnight visits with the kids. -AH progressive active alcoholic for 4 years. -Admitted it and got sober for...	looking_for_peace	7	801	Nov 8, 2010 by maresie
	New member (Preview) Hello! I really don't know where to start with my story. I have an ex-H who in his words self-medicated for his anxiety with alcohol and prescription meds. He has had extreme anxiety since childhood and has been on many different medications for this over the years.We were together for 10 years befo...	Lila Frost	7	485	Nov 8, 2010 by maresie
	Crap!! was that a banana peel or... (Preview) my pride and ego. It was my decision and my choice and my responsibility so in order to get uninterrupted sleep I took a sleep aid last night. When I take this sleep aid I get to stay down/under (not Australia) longer and then slog thru the waking up swamp process as I fight to become full conscious. Wit...	Jerry F	7	1087	Nov 8, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	I can not believe I did that (Preview) So today I did something really stupid. For the first time in my twenty years of life, I lied to my mom. I never lie to my parents. I got in a little arguement with my mom earlier today. I have been sick with pneumonia the past two weeks and she's sick of me complaining I guess. My mom has lymphoma which has sli...	Brookiebabe222	5	840	Nov 8, 2010 by maresie
	I have a sleeping Tiger and just occasionally it jumps up and roars... (Preview) ...this Tiger is called loneliness. You'd think that after twenty years of marriage to a violent AH who served so much time away from home whilst I brought up the family the best I could AND worked full time and had two other jobs to try to make ends meet; and then twenty years of living alone after our divo...	Suzannah	10	777	Nov 8, 2010 by maresie
	Prayers please (Preview) ((((Family)))), I talked to Tim's Dad yesterday. It's always a bit bittersweet as he sounds just like his son. I was asking about Tim's favorite aunt (mine too), Aunt Linda. Well she's not doing so good. She fell and broke her hip and last week she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This breaks my he...	Karilynn	10	746	Nov 8, 2010 by Gailey
	We Become Co-Dependents At An Early Age !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I want to share this with everyone. This afternoon I was walking my two Black Labs Ellie and Daisy when I noticed a piece of yellow 8x10 paper that somehow had blown into my yard. As I reached down to pick it up I noticed it contained a note from a very young girl probably 6 years old to her boyfriend. I read th...	RLC	7	749	Nov 7, 2010 by dragonflys
	ESH and prayers needed (Preview) I find myself struggling today, and questioning my HP or any HP at this point. I went to visit my Uncle again yesterday. For those who don't know...he has lung cancer and his wife is failing mentally. Fifty five years together, 4 kids of their own, 3 adopted children, a life lived mostly in church wit...	shellyj123	3	755	Nov 7, 2010 by Andrea12
	Don't know what is happening young people are over doseing way too much!!!! (Preview) (((((((((Family)))))))), I have no idea what is going on in my town. It is a small town but Dear God drugs are destroying it. Once again tonight, two young people od'd. I do not know how they are as far as I know they are alive by a string. What the hell is going on???? This is becoming a weekend ritual in t...	Andrea12	3	411	Nov 7, 2010 by lyndebi
	I haven`t been to a meeting in a week and it shows.. (Preview) Boy am I feeling the affects of not having been to a meeting. Either for health reasons or I have been busy over the past week. I find myself wanting to scream at my daughter... Usually I can control the unrest and sometimes even feel bad for her but when I see that she is not caring for my gd something inside...	Samsgram	2	628	Nov 7, 2010 by Samsgram
	When will it end? (Preview) I am almost 65 years old and my father has been gone for almost 5 years now. He was not a physically violent alchoholic, but was verbally abusive and always demanding perfection. Of me, that is. Not so with my sis (4 years younger) and brother (9 years younger). Nothing I ever did was good enough for him. E...	p_rlong	5	891	Nov 7, 2010 by Jerry F
	Brain damage (Preview) My son has been dry and in a recovery programme since June. Contact has been sporadic with him, short catch up chats kind of thing. We visited him a few months ago and took him out for a meal, his hands were trembling and his concentration span was short (nothing unusual in early recovery).He phoned me th...	Ness	8	892	Nov 7, 2010 by xeno59
	"I really miss you!" (Preview) Those sweet words that are the siren call to the co-dependent. I really got to experience how well my recovery is working this morning. Those words don't draw me in any more. I talked on the phone for a little while with my exAH and wanted to see if I could get rid of a couple of outdoor lounge chairs that I di...	Aloha	5	742	Nov 7, 2010 by member922
	what fav song uplifts your spirits? (Preview) I Love search for the hero inside yourself, and How do you like your eggs in the morning, I like mine with a smile! Katyx	Katy	10	1110	Nov 7, 2010 by Katy
	he's drinking with my son, court again? (Preview) I agreed to let him have visitation on his own (DA basically said judge would award it anyways since my son can talk) 4 hours .. 8 hours .. and soon over nights should start. Well they should have started 2 weeks ago but for some reason A thinks it's this month. So I've just let him believe that. Anyways the f...	Melissa21	9	874	Nov 6, 2010 by wp
	Had to go away to find me, in order to come back to share me. (Preview) When I went away I had to go because I found that I was not fully concentrating on the issues that I needed to sort out for myself, in myself. I was loathe to do that at first for it meant that I had to leave my amazing Sponsor behind too, as well as this family. This is what it meant to me. I had to believe in me...	Suzannah	7	1550	Nov 6, 2010 by david62
	It will get better! (Preview) I know that it is already getting better! thanks for the prayers & best wishes! You have called it: I am resilient! I have always felt like that. I have always hung in there for the better--it just seemed like sometimes it wasn't going to. It is getting closer to my Alanon birthday: January 4th. I am...	Hoot Nanny	3	734	Nov 6, 2010 by Tattyhead
	just a quickie! (Preview) this is gonna be a quick note for all of you who may be thinking about me & even to those who aren't. I am doing pretty well although I had to make an emergency appt. w/ my surgeon on Tuesday the 2nd. Anyhow, the appt. went well. I am OK but behind in my recovery. I actually was starting to get depressed &am...	Hoot Nanny	6	710	Nov 6, 2010 by xeno59
	A few moments of pure joy...... (Preview) I actually was aware of experiencing joy last night. I have a Black Shih Tzu named, Blacky....of course...daughter named him. He is the cutest most affectionate dog I've ever known. Well at night it seems he releases his pent up energy and runs around the house like nut and attacks (playfully) anyt...	mjhyankees	5	865	Nov 6, 2010 by xeno59
	Daylight Savings Time (Preview) (((((Family))))), Good morning! Just a reminder that those of you who observe Daylight Savings Time, you need to set your clocks back 1 hour before going to bed tonight. That means I get an extra hour of vacation! That means we get an extra hour of sleep, providing Miss Pipers allows that. What's...	Karilynn	2	514	Nov 6, 2010 by member922
	MAJOR test this weekend... (Preview) Tomorrow is my son's 2nd birthday...we are going to visit my dad & his wife to celebrate...many people from my side of the family will be there and my wife is stressing big time... Many members of my family abuse alcohol so I'm sure there will be a lot of booze there...No one in my family knows about my...	usedtobeanyer	11	484	Nov 6, 2010 by Ness
	Preparing for the weekend (Preview) My older kids will be with their dad this weekend, so it will just be me and the baby. I'm trying to make enough plans for the weekend so that I stay sufficiently occupied with things other than my obsession. I will NOT text and call my AH obsessively, trying to create "opportunities" for him t...	stephaniej	8	865	Nov 6, 2010 by Ness
	First Meeting (Preview) and it didn't go the way I expected = ( It was voting time and they were having elections = ( Someone did come up to me and explained that it wasn't a typical meeting and to please come back next Wednesday so that is what I'm going to do....	Hopeless	3	417	Nov 6, 2010 by Andrea12
	Business Meeting Sunday November 7th at 9pmest (Preview) Business Meeting Sunday, Agenda Meeting Schedule Vote for room preditor If you have anything you would like added to the agenda please contact me. Thanks Kerry (aka kerisha)	kerry5	0	306	Nov 5, 2010 by kerry5
	How do you brush it off? (Preview) Today my mother made it her mission to make me feel like the lowest piece of scum this planet has ever seen. I have been called so many names today and have been told that I am a terrible, selfish person.Even though I am hurting I know that she didn't really mean what she said to me but still I am finding it ha...	hfrush	11	1294	Nov 5, 2010 by mjhyankees
	It's all my fault (Preview) I got a scolding letter from my brother today. He said that I "served him up to his PO", and therefore he will get the extended time in Jail becuase of what my dad and I told his PO. He's mad that I didn't lie about his drinking. Let the silent treatment begin.	NCSUgeology	8	507	Nov 5, 2010 by canadianguy
	Owning what I want.... (Preview) I am working really hard, and have come to step 4 but haven't tackled it yet, or embraced it or whatever you want to say. The thing is, the person I do photography with, the person I invited to work with me in my business is causing me to relapse a bit. I asked her to work with me. Then I allowed her to take ov...	sunflowergirl	8	713	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Simple question--how do you respond when your spouse or whomever is drunk? (Preview) One thing I'm still confused about is how to respond when I find my wife drunk (hasn't happened in a while, fortunately!). For a while I just sort of thought I would ignore it; now I'm wondering if that does more harm than good. My thoughts at this point are--don't say anything while they are drunk, when t...	usedtobeanyer	12	934	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Feel Like Breaking Down... (Preview) After 9 days of sobriety, my AH relapsed -- HARD. The sobriety came from him being on such a long, hard binge that his body literally started breaking down. He has blood pressure and cholesterol issues as it is and has been an alcoholic for over 20 years (sometimes worse than others). He got scared th...	sunshinemama	5	496	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Feeling......just oK.....but that's ok..... (Preview) Never feel particularly joyful these days but there's been no negatives to speak of and there have been some moments, even hours of enjoyment here and there. Exercising at night has been good. It clears my head and tires me out for bedtime. I've been a little more productive with somethings too, n...	mjhyankees	3	803	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Dont know where to turn, first time post please help (Preview) Hi this is going to be a long post so I hope someone will take the time to read it and help me. I have been Married for the past year and a half and I have been with him nearly 5 years. I feel like I have married 2 people 1 who I adore the most amazing kind hearted man I have ever met and the other I cant even stomach. H...	furno78	7	969	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	What should I do? :'( (Preview) Hey everyone. I really appreciate all the help and support I have recieved from all of you. I have been struggling a lot these past couple days. I broke up with my addict boyfriend of about a year yesterday because he started using again. I have found it so hard to stay away from him and not talk to him. He li...	Brookiebabe222	5	791	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
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