Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

living_with_my_a · living_with_my_a

I went to an online meeting tonight of alanon. I was not going to do any recovery work today, just take a day off, because I spend most of my time helping others or working on myself. Well, tonight my a's behavior got to me. He like to be passive-aggressive and say yes when he means no. Anyway, he as...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Anyone have ESH for someone trying to get schoolwork, writing, or other time-consuming "thinky" task done while dealing with the symptoms of living with an alcoholic? I have been feeling so down recently and finding it hard to work on my thesis. Monday I did great, wrote 9-noon and got lot...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Just wanted to wish you all a Happy Veterans Day. I know there are many people in Alanon who have served and are serving down. There are many Alanoners who are children, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives and friends of these wonderful people. As the daughter & granddaughe...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Remembrance Day is a really difficult time for me and I struggle each year with the lost, the waste, the pain and the turmoil of this world. We owe so much to so few and still they follow and take up the banner in the name of justice and peace. Lest we forget, we hold this day in remembrance hoping that the wo...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

If happiness is an inside job, and I agree it is...but doesn't the outside matter as well? Aren't some situations in life more conducive to happiness and others less so? Is the grass at least sometimes greener on the other side? I really have a hard time accepting the opposite of those above thought...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

I am stuck in neutral/reverse again. I cant seem to stop sitting, staring at the computer and trying to process things in my head. I am off work today, it is a beautiful day outside but I seem to be stuck living between my ears. Am I lazy, over analyzing, do I suffer from lack of direction? Quite possibly...

dori711 · dori711

Does the spouse of an A have any say or opinions in the home? I really would like an answer to this question? Are we to let the A spouse do what they want and we are to understand because they are sick?. How do we manage to keep our identities and protect who we are? Today I failed again because I peace...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I cant' deny the parts of my life that are frustrating and disappointing and saddening. What I can do is while acknowledging all of this also acknowledge the good. Maybe I'm unable to let go of that stuff right now, but i can still see the good (there is plenty of that) and not judge which is more importa...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Thought I would share this letter I had written just now to my friend in Louisiana. love mom,deb I was outside putting med in Arni big pigs eye. swollen. We were on the south deck. Then I started picking up all the railing I took off the deck and moved it to a pile. Put a tarp over it, will reuse it. Put all th...

Miele0607 · Miele0607

Hello everyone. I just moved to Clover, SC from Wilmington, NC. I went to my second meeting to Lake Wylie tonight and they were talking about what seems to be a most useful FEELINGS LIST. No one in the meeting had one available. I looked it up online, but was unable to retrieve it. Does anyone have one that...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, and we are both pleased with the progress I'm making. We talked about areas where I'm having an easier time detaching, versus areas where it's still a challenge. One of my more challenging areas is not getting worried/anxious when my AH and i don't talk or text during t...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, I've been snooping around and decided to join. My husband is an alcoholic. He's been to two AA sessions (apparently) but still 'hides' drinking. We've only been married just over a year - in our late twenties. Lies, ridiculous excuses, outlandish stories of why there's a stash behind s...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

And I get it...there are things that need changing about me. And I'm working on that too. But there is this nagging thought. What if i change and it's still not enough? That I'm not happier enough to feel a difference, that things at home really don't improve that much, that I put in 99% work for a 1% imp...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Tomorrow I will be attending my second AlAnon convention, and my HP could not have brought it at a better time for me. Struggles in my mind and heart have left me confused and beat down the past three weeks, and trying to do the next right thing when I'm not certain what it is, is hard....Trying to do it wi...

melissimala · melissimala

I have been in a relationship with a man who had a history of substance abuse. He lost his family, everything really. He has been through treatment and would say how long it has been since he has been cocaine free, somewhere around 5 years. Seems he quit one and picked up another. Thought he was sober...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

I am sure it comes from his own problems with low self esteem, because he is SUCH a braggart and always has been, about how great he does everything, and how great they think he is at work. Honestly I would have agreed up till a couple months ago, I thought he was the greatest thing ever and he said I made him...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I've been renegotiating a commercial lease with a rental company .... actually with multiple companies since more than one deal has not gone through as planned, and now I am to the final stages of the fine points on the lease. I am noticing that instead of asking for what I want, all the things that will b...

clteach · clteach

I don't know what I'm doing. Why I am crying today. I just feel lonely, I guess. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this...my A ex boyfriend says he has been in NA with a sponsor for 4 weeks. He can't be with me and doesn't know if he ever will. But he has started a new relationship with a women who is g...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Actually had a pretty good week and was feeling pretty good. Therapy session uncovered some stuff and I found myself falling back on the pity pot. God, I hate feeling like this....I believe I deserve better from life than I've gotten...but I have to try to find happiness and contentment along the wa...

susie56543 · susie56543

Hello everyone! I've been in al-anon for about 4-5 months now. I used to go to anywhere from 5 meetings a week to 1. Unfortunately, I live out in the country and the nearest meeting is a half hour away. Obviously when I was going to 5 a week I was really focusing and drilling the program into my head and devo...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I have spent my whole life ignoring my feelings and emotions. I have stuffed them so others would be happy. I have stayed in relationships that hurt. I have gotten hurt by people again and again only to go back for more. I may have really not known what I was feeling, because I never really learned t...

kath · kath

It is so easy for me to take on the feelings of loved ones. If they are worried, I start to become worried, if they are angry, I start to become angry, etc. I am noticing how automatic these reactions are for me. No wonder I have felt so angry and exhausted. I have been carrying my feelings, plus the feelings...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Wife has been in a good mood lately and quite tolerable and easy to communicate with, so I noticed I was feeling happier these days. Ok, probably fairly normal thing, but it struck me that I've got to learn to feel this good regardless of her mood. I've been codependant on her moods that affected how I f...

tlcate · tlcate

I am exhausted but I can't quit smiling. I am in my new home - the first one that I own - a week today. IT IS GORGEOUS!!! I just registered for college with my daughter, she and I are both going. I turn 40 next week and I will quit smoking then and have no fear that I will succeed at that. I have already cut bac...

member922 · member922

Hi again. I am trying so hard to detach from my A. I am finding that no contact seems to work the best. Myself and my children are the most important people in my life and I refuse to let this person be around my children and witness his using and moods. He hasn't met them yet and the way things are, he never...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

... AH has been more like his old self lately although has never stopped drinking - just less and beer instead of brandy. He even took Son over to local pub/bar to play/shoot pool on Wed evening. He has also been talking about how we should celebrate our 40th wedding anniversay in Jan 2012 (like we have so...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

Hi everyone, Just been thinking about all my relationships. After 2 failed marriages, another broken engagement, and now an engagement on the rocks, not to mention all the relationships before and in between.... I've come far enough in life to know that simply changing partners won't change my pr...

Megthompson · Megthompson

Hi All, Just to share with you last Friday the first Al Anon meeting took place in Lusaka, Zambia, Africa.It was great.We had 4 people, 2 with previous Al Anon experience. It was scary for me to be Chairing this meeting as it was my first time to attend a F2F meeting but it was just great. Then Saturday I got...

Hoping for Happiness · Hoping for Happiness

Any advice would be appreciated. I have been married 6 years, together 9. My husband's drinking has gotten so much worse in the last year. He told me he'd stop and go to meetings, etc. He admits he has a problem (his father was a violent alcoholic). He just switched to hiding his drinking and lying a...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi Family, Its been a while since I posted here but today I really needed a safe place to come and release. I have reunited with my ABF since June. He has gone back to his AA meetings. He is coming up on 20 yrs without a drop of alcohol but not much in the way of recovery. It is only these last months that he has ho...

KidSupport · KidSupport

Admist all of the emotions that come up when alcoholism or addiction has entered a family there are many questions about how to deal with it when it comes to the children. The good news is there are resources to help guide parents through this difficult process. check out this website http://www.pav...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Last night I was on the phone with my AH. It became obvious after a time that he was trying to bait me into a fight about money. I remained as zen and as detached as I possibly could, and refused to engage in the drama. It felt so good! Thank you, Al Anon and MIP. This was but a step on a long, endless journey,...

member922 · member922

It has been a week since I have been with my Abf alone. We were supposed to have a date last night. I cried my eyes out of course. Still wishing he would email me or something. Then again, I hope he doesn't. Plus I had to have a gynelogical procedure yesterday. Nothing too major I guess, but still a rud...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Thank you all for your support. The past couple days have been really hard, especially since I'm having a difficult time completely letting go of my A ex. Fortunately I have pneumonia and my parents won't let me leave the house. I know it sounds weird that I'm grateful to be so sick, but it is preventing m...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I sure don't know how you guys who live with so much stress do it. I have been very fortunate since AH has been gone, to have a pretty mellow life. Of course some hard times, but nothing like what it is like to live with or have an A involved in your life. My mortgage advocate called. The good news is the mortga...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Yesterday was a long story. To make it short, because of the weather and my bad decision making skills, I got to work late, had to take my son to school in the middle of my work morning because school was delayed (For an inch of snow) and then felt like a chump because people at work had to watch the front des...

ntxalanon · ntxalanon

I have been in Al-Anon off and on for about a yr. the last 2 months going weekly 2-3X's a week and I am struggling with suspicion. My AH wife is in recovery and attending AA regularly, but at night time lately her voice just seems off and I instantly have my stomach sinking feeling and start analyzying. It i...

Tracy · Tracy

I gain more and more of an insight that this really is an illness the longer I am with my ABF. he was sober for 6 months last year. then he drank when his nephew died it started to progress over 9 months then bang another big rock bottom I stayed out of the way thanks to Al anon. He put him self in rehab god lov...

kath · kath

Praise God for my life. Am so happy to have my three most precious beautiful daughters. Am so blessed by nature. It is a free art show, just looking up to the sky. Am so blessed by music. It is a free concert as I drive in my car, or as I clean this messy house! There are many other wonderful things to praise, an...

babysteps · babysteps

I haven't been around in a while. Been trying to get divorced from my AH for 2 years now. The latest hold up is him giving the wrong wedding date at the deposition. Since it didn't match the actual date everything is on hold until he comes from out of state to sign something stating the correct date. I don' t...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife expressed to me on Saturday night that she is "done" with alcohol. She didn't say it in a boastful or arrogant way. It was as if she was finally surrending. This was after a bad night on Friday where she drank heavily. She basically just seems to have given in--she said she is done lying...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Wife was in a bad mood and started in on me over the phone. Rather than argue, defend etc. I said "You are upsetting me, I have to go now" and hung up the phone. When I got home she acted like nothing happened but was warily checking me out to see if I was mad, which I wasn't by then. Problem is the kn...

member922 · member922

I just started reading this book and came across something so true and fitting for me. When describing codependence there were a lot of familiar traits. The one that hit me the most said, "an ongoing whirlwind trip through the five-stage grief process". So true. Ugh. Totally hit home....

maresie · maresie

At this time of year I am normally really enmeshed in feeling sorry for myself. I am also usually reliving the relationship I had with my two sisters when all our sibling rivalry erupted! Who got what, who did what and how unfair it was pretty much 24/7 for an eternity! I can reproduce my sisters quit...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Good morning Alanon friends & family, Yesterday was my 11 year anniversary and as I awake today with the reality that there may not be a 12th. What started as a quiet and peaceful day with much promise ended with much sadness & lots of questions. Our anniversary as well as 5 years of sobriety c...

bud · bud

This morning, I was rambling through my bookcase looking for a particular book and came across a picture my daughter drew in her late elementary years. It is an awesome detailed pencil sketch of my exha standing behind me with his arms around mine. His head is tenderly bent forward caressing mine. ...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Today I finalized my breakup with my a bf by giving him back some stuff of his that was at my house. I have never hurt more in my life. I was on my final leg with him because his using has gotten out of control and I just can't do it anymore. At first he was really upset and saying little things to try and hurt me. B...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I woke this morning very conscious that my peace of mind was askew. I abruptly stopped and sat down and counted to ten, then I gave myself a serious talking too.Don't Lose Your Peace of MindWHY was my peace of mind gone? WHY was I struggling? Over time I have realised it is usually because I want to chang...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

What would you do if you were a trade union steward and were representing someone who had been sent home from work, twice, because they smelled of alcohol? They sit and tell you over and over that it is untrue; they are very aggrieved by the accusations. However, you know from personal experience that p...

stephaniej · stephaniej

It's been a rough day here at casa del stephaniej, and it occurs to me that it would be tremendously uplifting to hear stories of others' successes and triumphs. I don't necessarily mean the big "Al Anon made my life awesome" stories...I think I mean something more like "this is how I...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I KNOW I am not supposed to be counting bottles, but I am. I am because if I decide to leave, I want to make sure he IS drinking. I also want to have "evidence" so I can make sure he gets no overnight visits with the kids. -AH progressive active alcoholic for 4 years. -Admitted it and got sober for...

New member · Lila Frost

Hello! I really don't know where to start with my story. I have an ex-H who in his words self-medicated for his anxiety with alcohol and prescription meds. He has had extreme anxiety since childhood and has been on many different medications for this over the years.We were together for 10 years befo...

Jerry F · Jerry F

my pride and ego. It was my decision and my choice and my responsibility so in order to get uninterrupted sleep I took a sleep aid last night. When I take this sleep aid I get to stay down/under (not Australia) longer and then slog thru the waking up swamp process as I fight to become full conscious. Wit...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

So today I did something really stupid. For the first time in my twenty years of life, I lied to my mom. I never lie to my parents. I got in a little arguement with my mom earlier today. I have been sick with pneumonia the past two weeks and she's sick of me complaining I guess. My mom has lymphoma which has sli...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...this Tiger is called loneliness. You'd think that after twenty years of marriage to a violent AH who served so much time away from home whilst I brought up the family the best I could AND worked full time and had two other jobs to try to make ends meet; and then twenty years of living alone after our divo...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), I talked to Tim's Dad yesterday. It's always a bit bittersweet as he sounds just like his son. I was asking about Tim's favorite aunt (mine too), Aunt Linda. Well she's not doing so good. She fell and broke her hip and last week she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This breaks my he...

RLC · RLC

I want to share this with everyone. This afternoon I was walking my two Black Labs Ellie and Daisy when I noticed a piece of yellow 8x10 paper that somehow had blown into my yard. As I reached down to pick it up I noticed it contained a note from a very young girl probably 6 years old to her boyfriend. I read th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I find myself struggling today, and questioning my HP or any HP at this point. I went to visit my Uncle again yesterday. For those who don't know...he has lung cancer and his wife is failing mentally. Fifty five years together, 4 kids of their own, 3 adopted children, a life lived mostly in church wit...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((Family)))))))), I have no idea what is going on in my town. It is a small town but Dear God drugs are destroying it. Once again tonight, two young people od'd. I do not know how they are as far as I know they are alive by a string. What the hell is going on???? This is becoming a weekend ritual in t...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Boy am I feeling the affects of not having been to a meeting. Either for health reasons or I have been busy over the past week. I find myself wanting to scream at my daughter... Usually I can control the unrest and sometimes even feel bad for her but when I see that she is not caring for my gd something inside...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	passive agressive (Preview) I went to an online meeting tonight of alanon. I was not going to do any recovery work today, just take a day off, because I spend most of my time helping others or working on myself. Well, tonight my a's behavior got to me. He like to be passive-aggressive and say yes when he means no. Anyway, he as...	living_with_my_a	6	998	Nov 12, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	ESH getting writing or other intimidating work done while depressed? (Preview) Anyone have ESH for someone trying to get schoolwork, writing, or other time-consuming "thinky" task done while dealing with the symptoms of living with an alcoholic? I have been feeling so down recently and finding it hard to work on my thesis. Monday I did great, wrote 9-noon and got lot...	Imogen421	4	724	Nov 12, 2010 by kitty
	Happy Veterans Day! (Preview) (((((Family))))), Just wanted to wish you all a Happy Veterans Day. I know there are many people in Alanon who have served and are serving down. There are many Alanoners who are children, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives and friends of these wonderful people. As the daughter & granddaughe...	Karilynn	4	449	Nov 12, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	Remembrance - a really difficult time for me, please help. (Preview) Remembrance Day is a really difficult time for me and I struggle each year with the lost, the waste, the pain and the turmoil of this world. We owe so much to so few and still they follow and take up the banner in the name of justice and peace. Lest we forget, we hold this day in remembrance hoping that the wo...	Suzannah	4	512	Nov 12, 2010 by xeno59
	How to balance???? (Preview) If happiness is an inside job, and I agree it is...but doesn't the outside matter as well? Aren't some situations in life more conducive to happiness and others less so? Is the grass at least sometimes greener on the other side? I really have a hard time accepting the opposite of those above thought...	mjhyankees	6	524	Nov 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Spinning my tires (Preview) I am stuck in neutral/reverse again. I cant seem to stop sitting, staring at the computer and trying to process things in my head. I am off work today, it is a beautiful day outside but I seem to be stuck living between my ears. Am I lazy, over analyzing, do I suffer from lack of direction? Quite possibly...	Ginger90	4	1029	Nov 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Losing myself (Preview) Does the spouse of an A have any say or opinions in the home? I really would like an answer to this question? Are we to let the A spouse do what they want and we are to understand because they are sick?. How do we manage to keep our identities and protect who we are? Today I failed again because I peace...	dori711	4	745	Nov 12, 2010 by dori711
	Maybe this is balance......baby steps (Preview) I cant' deny the parts of my life that are frustrating and disappointing and saddening. What I can do is while acknowledging all of this also acknowledge the good. Maybe I'm unable to let go of that stuff right now, but i can still see the good (there is plenty of that) and not judge which is more importa...	mjhyankees	4	565	Nov 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Just another normal rescue...sheesh (Preview) Thought I would share this letter I had written just now to my friend in Louisiana. love mom,deb I was outside putting med in Arni big pigs eye. swollen. We were on the south deck. Then I started picking up all the railing I took off the deck and moved it to a pile. Put a tarp over it, will reuse it. Put all th...	lyndebi	2	739	Nov 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Feelings List (Preview) Hello everyone. I just moved to Clover, SC from Wilmington, NC. I went to my second meeting to Lake Wylie tonight and they were talking about what seems to be a most useful FEELINGS LIST. No one in the meeting had one available. I looked it up online, but was unable to retrieve it. Does anyone have one that...	Miele0607	4	5428	Nov 12, 2010 by Miele0607
	another step forward (Preview) I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, and we are both pleased with the progress I'm making. We talked about areas where I'm having an easier time detaching, versus areas where it's still a challenge. One of my more challenging areas is not getting worried/anxious when my AH and i don't talk or text during t...	stephaniej	3	728	Nov 12, 2010 by tlcate
	New to board, have a couple questions (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been snooping around and decided to join. My husband is an alcoholic. He's been to two AA sessions (apparently) but still 'hides' drinking. We've only been married just over a year - in our late twenties. Lies, ridiculous excuses, outlandish stories of why there's a stash behind s...	danielle0516	7	1254	Nov 12, 2010 by danielle0516
	Lots of advice to "change me".... (Preview) And I get it...there are things that need changing about me. And I'm working on that too. But there is this nagging thought. What if i change and it's still not enough? That I'm not happier enough to feel a difference, that things at home really don't improve that much, that I put in 99% work for a 1% imp...	mjhyankees	7	998	Nov 12, 2010 by kitty
	So thankful for the AlAnon convention tomorrow~ (Preview) Tomorrow I will be attending my second AlAnon convention, and my HP could not have brought it at a better time for me. Struggles in my mind and heart have left me confused and beat down the past three weeks, and trying to do the next right thing when I'm not certain what it is, is hard....Trying to do it wi...	shellyj123	3	506	Nov 12, 2010 by Jerry F
	What took me so long to realize that he was an alcoholic? (Preview) I have been in a relationship with a man who had a history of substance abuse. He lost his family, everything really. He has been through treatment and would say how long it has been since he has been cocaine free, somewhere around 5 years. Seems he quit one and picked up another. Thought he was sober...	melissimala	6	837	Nov 11, 2010 by lyndebi
	I swear he's trying to make me jealous.... how do I not let it make me crazy?? (Preview) I am sure it comes from his own problems with low self esteem, because he is SUCH a braggart and always has been, about how great he does everything, and how great they think he is at work. Honestly I would have agreed up till a couple months ago, I thought he was the greatest thing ever and he said I made him...	oklahoma momof5	7	3549	Nov 11, 2010 by lyndebi
	Reluctant to own my needs (Preview) I've been renegotiating a commercial lease with a rental company .... actually with multiple companies since more than one deal has not gone through as planned, and now I am to the final stages of the fine points on the lease. I am noticing that instead of asking for what I want, all the things that will b...	Jennifer	4	533	Nov 11, 2010 by Jennifer
	what am I doing?! (Preview) I don't know what I'm doing. Why I am crying today. I just feel lonely, I guess. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this...my A ex boyfriend says he has been in NA with a sponsor for 4 weeks. He can't be with me and doesn't know if he ever will. But he has started a new relationship with a women who is g...	clteach	6	764	Nov 11, 2010 by clteach
	Argg....same old stuff...... (Preview) Actually had a pretty good week and was feeling pretty good. Therapy session uncovered some stuff and I found myself falling back on the pity pot. God, I hate feeling like this....I believe I deserve better from life than I've gotten...but I have to try to find happiness and contentment along the wa...	mjhyankees	4	658	Nov 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Online Sponsorship (Preview) Hello everyone! I've been in al-anon for about 4-5 months now. I used to go to anywhere from 5 meetings a week to 1. Unfortunately, I live out in the country and the nearest meeting is a half hour away. Obviously when I was going to 5 a week I was really focusing and drilling the program into my head and devo...	susie56543	5	3027	Nov 11, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Emotions and Feelings.... (Preview) I have spent my whole life ignoring my feelings and emotions. I have stuffed them so others would be happy. I have stayed in relationships that hurt. I have gotten hurt by people again and again only to go back for more. I may have really not known what I was feeling, because I never really learned t...	sunflowergirl	5	1034	Nov 11, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	just realized (Preview) It is so easy for me to take on the feelings of loved ones. If they are worried, I start to become worried, if they are angry, I start to become angry, etc. I am noticing how automatic these reactions are for me. No wonder I have felt so angry and exhausted. I have been carrying my feelings, plus the feelings...	kath	3	662	Nov 11, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Felt good for the wrong reasons..... (Preview) Wife has been in a good mood lately and quite tolerable and easy to communicate with, so I noticed I was feeling happier these days. Ok, probably fairly normal thing, but it struck me that I've got to learn to feel this good regardless of her mood. I've been codependant on her moods that affected how I f...	mjhyankees	10	1155	Nov 11, 2010 by Ginger90
	An object in motion . . . (Preview) I am exhausted but I can't quit smiling. I am in my new home - the first one that I own - a week today. IT IS GORGEOUS!!! I just registered for college with my daughter, she and I are both going. I turn 40 next week and I will quit smoking then and have no fear that I will succeed at that. I have already cut bac...	tlcate	6	539	Nov 11, 2010 by tiredtonite
	How do you not get drawn back in? (Preview) Hi again. I am trying so hard to detach from my A. I am finding that no contact seems to work the best. Myself and my children are the most important people in my life and I refuse to let this person be around my children and witness his using and moods. He hasn't met them yet and the way things are, he never...	member922	18	1244	Nov 11, 2010 by kitty
	Just when you think things are getting better (Preview) ... AH has been more like his old self lately although has never stopped drinking - just less and beer instead of brandy. He even took Son over to local pub/bar to play/shoot pool on Wed evening. He has also been talking about how we should celebrate our 40th wedding anniversay in Jan 2012 (like we have so...	Tattyhead	8	645	Nov 11, 2010 by Emi
	I keep getting into the same kinds of relationships, what is wrong with ME? (Preview) Hi everyone, Just been thinking about all my relationships. After 2 failed marriages, another broken engagement, and now an engagement on the rocks, not to mention all the relationships before and in between.... I've come far enough in life to know that simply changing partners won't change my pr...	oklahoma momof5	13	887	Nov 11, 2010 by kitty
	FIRST AL ANON MEETING LUSAKA ZAMBIA AFRCIA, SO EXCITED!!!! (Preview) Hi All, Just to share with you last Friday the first Al Anon meeting took place in Lusaka, Zambia, Africa.It was great.We had 4 people, 2 with previous Al Anon experience. It was scary for me to be Chairing this meeting as it was my first time to attend a F2F meeting but it was just great. Then Saturday I got...	Megthompson	8	733	Nov 11, 2010 by kitty
	I don't know what I am doing (Preview) Any advice would be appreciated. I have been married 6 years, together 9. My husband's drinking has gotten so much worse in the last year. He told me he'd stop and go to meetings, etc. He admits he has a problem (his father was a violent alcoholic). He just switched to hiding his drinking and lying a...	Hoping for Happiness	3	1086	Nov 11, 2010 by member922
	Frustrated with the Dry Drunk (Preview) Hi Family, Its been a while since I posted here but today I really needed a safe place to come and release. I have reunited with my ABF since June. He has gone back to his AA meetings. He is coming up on 20 yrs without a drop of alcohol but not much in the way of recovery. It is only these last months that he has ho...	Saved By Grace	3	913	Nov 10, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	How to talk to kids about alcholism/addiction? (Preview) Admist all of the emotions that come up when alcoholism or addiction has entered a family there are many questions about how to deal with it when it comes to the children. The good news is there are resources to help guide parents through this difficult process. check out this website http://www.pav...	KidSupport	2	743	Nov 10, 2010 by abbyal
	Sharing a small victory (Preview) Last night I was on the phone with my AH. It became obvious after a time that he was trying to bait me into a fight about money. I remained as zen and as detached as I possibly could, and refused to engage in the drama. It felt so good! Thank you, Al Anon and MIP. This was but a step on a long, endless journey,...	stephaniej	5	553	Nov 10, 2010 by stephaniej
	Anyone stuck in the grieving process? (Preview) It has been a week since I have been with my Abf alone. We were supposed to have a date last night. I cried my eyes out of course. Still wishing he would email me or something. Then again, I hope he doesn't. Plus I had to have a gynelogical procedure yesterday. Nothing too major I guess, but still a rud...	member922	4	528	Nov 10, 2010 by member922
	Trying to deal (Preview) Thank you all for your support. The past couple days have been really hard, especially since I'm having a difficult time completely letting go of my A ex. Fortunately I have pneumonia and my parents won't let me leave the house. I know it sounds weird that I'm grateful to be so sick, but it is preventing m...	Brookiebabe222	3	717	Nov 10, 2010 by xeno59
	little update (Preview) I sure don't know how you guys who live with so much stress do it. I have been very fortunate since AH has been gone, to have a pretty mellow life. Of course some hard times, but nothing like what it is like to live with or have an A involved in your life. My mortgage advocate called. The good news is the mortga...	lyndebi	8	448	Nov 10, 2010 by lyndebi
	Not taking it personally...thank you all!! Grateful! (Preview) Yesterday was a long story. To make it short, because of the weather and my bad decision making skills, I got to work late, had to take my son to school in the middle of my work morning because school was delayed (For an inch of snow) and then felt like a chump because people at work had to watch the front des...	sunflowergirl	3	1266	Nov 9, 2010 by xeno59
	Suspicion (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon off and on for about a yr. the last 2 months going weekly 2-3X's a week and I am struggling with suspicion. My AH wife is in recovery and attending AA regularly, but at night time lately her voice just seems off and I instantly have my stomach sinking feeling and start analyzying. It i...	ntxalanon	7	1114	Nov 9, 2010 by xeno59
	drop like flies (Preview) I gain more and more of an insight that this really is an illness the longer I am with my ABF. he was sober for 6 months last year. then he drank when his nephew died it started to progress over 9 months then bang another big rock bottom I stayed out of the way thanks to Al anon. He put him self in rehab god lov...	Tracy	3	752	Nov 9, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Praise for my life (Preview) Praise God for my life. Am so happy to have my three most precious beautiful daughters. Am so blessed by nature. It is a free art show, just looking up to the sky. Am so blessed by music. It is a free concert as I drive in my car, or as I clean this messy house! There are many other wonderful things to praise, an...	kath	8	803	Nov 9, 2010 by RLC
	Not to be a downer but... (Preview) I haven't been around in a while. Been trying to get divorced from my AH for 2 years now. The latest hold up is him giving the wrong wedding date at the deposition. Since it didn't match the actual date everything is on hold until he comes from out of state to sign something stating the correct date. I don' t...	babysteps	5	749	Nov 9, 2010 by Jerry F
	My wife seems to have had a breakthrough--now what? (Preview) My wife expressed to me on Saturday night that she is "done" with alcohol. She didn't say it in a boastful or arrogant way. It was as if she was finally surrending. This was after a bad night on Friday where she drank heavily. She basically just seems to have given in--she said she is done lying...	usedtobeanyer	11	1084	Nov 9, 2010 by usedtobeanyer
	handling things better....still a ways to go. (Preview) Wife was in a bad mood and started in on me over the phone. Rather than argue, defend etc. I said "You are upsetting me, I have to go now" and hung up the phone. When I got home she acted like nothing happened but was warily checking me out to see if I was mad, which I wasn't by then. Problem is the kn...	mjhyankees	7	650	Nov 9, 2010 by stephaniej
	Interesting- from Codependent No More (Preview) I just started reading this book and came across something so true and fitting for me. When describing codependence there were a lot of familiar traits. The one that hit me the most said, "an ongoing whirlwind trip through the five-stage grief process". So true. Ugh. Totally hit home....	member922	5	864	Nov 9, 2010 by stephaniej
	The holidays without a catastophe! (Preview) At this time of year I am normally really enmeshed in feeling sorry for myself. I am also usually reliving the relationship I had with my two sisters when all our sibling rivalry erupted! Who got what, who did what and how unfair it was pretty much 24/7 for an eternity! I can reproduce my sisters quit...	maresie	5	638	Nov 9, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Emerging in a new reality... (Preview) Good morning Alanon friends & family, Yesterday was my 11 year anniversary and as I awake today with the reality that there may not be a 12th. What started as a quiet and peaceful day with much promise ended with much sadness & lots of questions. Our anniversary as well as 5 years of sobriety c...	AlaMom	6	913	Nov 9, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	letting go (Preview) This morning, I was rambling through my bookcase looking for a particular book and came across a picture my daughter drew in her late elementary years. It is an awesome detailed pencil sketch of my exha standing behind me with his arms around mine. His head is tenderly bent forward caressing mine. ...	bud	3	974	Nov 9, 2010 by babysteps
	Wow this sucks (Preview) Today I finalized my breakup with my a bf by giving him back some stuff of his that was at my house. I have never hurt more in my life. I was on my final leg with him because his using has gotten out of control and I just can't do it anymore. At first he was really upset and saying little things to try and hurt me. B...	Brookiebabe222	7	866	Nov 9, 2010 by member922
	Hey - stop behaving like a child, chill, trust, work and then wait! (Preview) I woke this morning very conscious that my peace of mind was askew. I abruptly stopped and sat down and counted to ten, then I gave myself a serious talking too.Don't Lose Your Peace of MindWHY was my peace of mind gone? WHY was I struggling? Over time I have realised it is usually because I want to chang...	Suzannah	6	913	Nov 9, 2010 by susie56543
	Bit different problem (Preview) What would you do if you were a trade union steward and were representing someone who had been sent home from work, twice, because they smelled of alcohol? They sit and tell you over and over that it is untrue; they are very aggrieved by the accusations. However, you know from personal experience that p...	Tattyhead	4	819	Nov 9, 2010 by bud
	Can we all share a small victory/triumph? (Preview) It's been a rough day here at casa del stephaniej, and it occurs to me that it would be tremendously uplifting to hear stories of others' successes and triumphs. I don't necessarily mean the big "Al Anon made my life awesome" stories...I think I mean something more like "this is how I...	stephaniej	14	935	Nov 8, 2010 by member922
	Need someone to pound it into my head, I guess (Preview) I KNOW I am not supposed to be counting bottles, but I am. I am because if I decide to leave, I want to make sure he IS drinking. I also want to have "evidence" so I can make sure he gets no overnight visits with the kids. -AH progressive active alcoholic for 4 years. -Admitted it and got sober for...	looking_for_peace	7	840	Nov 8, 2010 by maresie
	New member (Preview) Hello! I really don't know where to start with my story. I have an ex-H who in his words self-medicated for his anxiety with alcohol and prescription meds. He has had extreme anxiety since childhood and has been on many different medications for this over the years.We were together for 10 years befo...	Lila Frost	7	529	Nov 8, 2010 by maresie
	Crap!! was that a banana peel or... (Preview) my pride and ego. It was my decision and my choice and my responsibility so in order to get uninterrupted sleep I took a sleep aid last night. When I take this sleep aid I get to stay down/under (not Australia) longer and then slog thru the waking up swamp process as I fight to become full conscious. Wit...	Jerry F	7	1125	Nov 8, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	I can not believe I did that (Preview) So today I did something really stupid. For the first time in my twenty years of life, I lied to my mom. I never lie to my parents. I got in a little arguement with my mom earlier today. I have been sick with pneumonia the past two weeks and she's sick of me complaining I guess. My mom has lymphoma which has sli...	Brookiebabe222	5	886	Nov 8, 2010 by maresie
	I have a sleeping Tiger and just occasionally it jumps up and roars... (Preview) ...this Tiger is called loneliness. You'd think that after twenty years of marriage to a violent AH who served so much time away from home whilst I brought up the family the best I could AND worked full time and had two other jobs to try to make ends meet; and then twenty years of living alone after our divo...	Suzannah	10	819	Nov 8, 2010 by maresie
	Prayers please (Preview) ((((Family)))), I talked to Tim's Dad yesterday. It's always a bit bittersweet as he sounds just like his son. I was asking about Tim's favorite aunt (mine too), Aunt Linda. Well she's not doing so good. She fell and broke her hip and last week she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This breaks my he...	Karilynn	10	787	Nov 8, 2010 by Gailey
	We Become Co-Dependents At An Early Age !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I want to share this with everyone. This afternoon I was walking my two Black Labs Ellie and Daisy when I noticed a piece of yellow 8x10 paper that somehow had blown into my yard. As I reached down to pick it up I noticed it contained a note from a very young girl probably 6 years old to her boyfriend. I read th...	RLC	7	789	Nov 7, 2010 by dragonflys
	ESH and prayers needed (Preview) I find myself struggling today, and questioning my HP or any HP at this point. I went to visit my Uncle again yesterday. For those who don't know...he has lung cancer and his wife is failing mentally. Fifty five years together, 4 kids of their own, 3 adopted children, a life lived mostly in church wit...	shellyj123	3	800	Nov 7, 2010 by Andrea12
	Don't know what is happening young people are over doseing way too much!!!! (Preview) (((((((((Family)))))))), I have no idea what is going on in my town. It is a small town but Dear God drugs are destroying it. Once again tonight, two young people od'd. I do not know how they are as far as I know they are alive by a string. What the hell is going on???? This is becoming a weekend ritual in t...	Andrea12	3	449	Nov 7, 2010 by lyndebi
	I haven`t been to a meeting in a week and it shows.. (Preview) Boy am I feeling the affects of not having been to a meeting. Either for health reasons or I have been busy over the past week. I find myself wanting to scream at my daughter... Usually I can control the unrest and sometimes even feel bad for her but when I see that she is not caring for my gd something inside...	Samsgram	2	670	Nov 7, 2010 by Samsgram
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.