Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Suzannah · Suzannah

...this Tiger is called loneliness. You'd think that after twenty years of marriage to a violent AH who served so much time away from home whilst I brought up the family the best I could AND worked full time and had two other jobs to try to make ends meet; and then twenty years of living alone after our divo...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), I talked to Tim's Dad yesterday. It's always a bit bittersweet as he sounds just like his son. I was asking about Tim's favorite aunt (mine too), Aunt Linda. Well she's not doing so good. She fell and broke her hip and last week she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This breaks my he...

RLC · RLC

I want to share this with everyone. This afternoon I was walking my two Black Labs Ellie and Daisy when I noticed a piece of yellow 8x10 paper that somehow had blown into my yard. As I reached down to pick it up I noticed it contained a note from a very young girl probably 6 years old to her boyfriend. I read th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I find myself struggling today, and questioning my HP or any HP at this point. I went to visit my Uncle again yesterday. For those who don't know...he has lung cancer and his wife is failing mentally. Fifty five years together, 4 kids of their own, 3 adopted children, a life lived mostly in church wit...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((Family)))))))), I have no idea what is going on in my town. It is a small town but Dear God drugs are destroying it. Once again tonight, two young people od'd. I do not know how they are as far as I know they are alive by a string. What the hell is going on???? This is becoming a weekend ritual in t...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Boy am I feeling the affects of not having been to a meeting. Either for health reasons or I have been busy over the past week. I find myself wanting to scream at my daughter... Usually I can control the unrest and sometimes even feel bad for her but when I see that she is not caring for my gd something inside...

p_rlong · p_rlong

I am almost 65 years old and my father has been gone for almost 5 years now. He was not a physically violent alchoholic, but was verbally abusive and always demanding perfection. Of me, that is. Not so with my sis (4 years younger) and brother (9 years younger). Nothing I ever did was good enough for him. E...

Ness · Ness

My son has been dry and in a recovery programme since June. Contact has been sporadic with him, short catch up chats kind of thing. We visited him a few months ago and took him out for a meal, his hands were trembling and his concentration span was short (nothing unusual in early recovery).He phoned me th...

Aloha · Aloha

Those sweet words that are the siren call to the co-dependent. I really got to experience how well my recovery is working this morning. Those words don't draw me in any more. I talked on the phone for a little while with my exAH and wanted to see if I could get rid of a couple of outdoor lounge chairs that I di...

Katy · Katy

I Love search for the hero inside yourself, and How do you like your eggs in the morning, I like mine with a smile! Katyx

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I agreed to let him have visitation on his own (DA basically said judge would award it anyways since my son can talk) 4 hours .. 8 hours .. and soon over nights should start. Well they should have started 2 weeks ago but for some reason A thinks it's this month. So I've just let him believe that. Anyways the f...

Suzannah · Suzannah

When I went away I had to go because I found that I was not fully concentrating on the issues that I needed to sort out for myself, in myself. I was loathe to do that at first for it meant that I had to leave my amazing Sponsor behind too, as well as this family. This is what it meant to me. I had to believe in me...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I know that it is already getting better! thanks for the prayers & best wishes! You have called it: I am resilient! I have always felt like that. I have always hung in there for the better--it just seemed like sometimes it wasn't going to. It is getting closer to my Alanon birthday: January 4th. I am...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

this is gonna be a quick note for all of you who may be thinking about me & even to those who aren't. I am doing pretty well although I had to make an emergency appt. w/ my surgeon on Tuesday the 2nd. Anyhow, the appt. went well. I am OK but behind in my recovery. I actually was starting to get depressed &am...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I actually was aware of experiencing joy last night. I have a Black Shih Tzu named, Blacky....of course...daughter named him. He is the cutest most affectionate dog I've ever known. Well at night it seems he releases his pent up energy and runs around the house like nut and attacks (playfully) anyt...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Good morning! Just a reminder that those of you who observe Daylight Savings Time, you need to set your clocks back 1 hour before going to bed tonight. That means I get an extra hour of vacation! That means we get an extra hour of sleep, providing Miss Pipers allows that. What's...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Tomorrow is my son's 2nd birthday...we are going to visit my dad & his wife to celebrate...many people from my side of the family will be there and my wife is stressing big time... Many members of my family abuse alcohol so I'm sure there will be a lot of booze there...No one in my family knows about my...

stephaniej · stephaniej

My older kids will be with their dad this weekend, so it will just be me and the baby. I'm trying to make enough plans for the weekend so that I stay sufficiently occupied with things other than my obsession. I will NOT text and call my AH obsessively, trying to create "opportunities" for him t...

Hopeless · Hopeless

and it didn't go the way I expected = ( It was voting time and they were having elections = ( Someone did come up to me and explained that it wasn't a typical meeting and to please come back next Wednesday so that is what I'm going to do....

kerry5 · kerry5

Business Meeting Sunday, Agenda Meeting Schedule Vote for room preditor If you have anything you would like added to the agenda please contact me. Thanks Kerry (aka kerisha)

hfrush · hfrush

Today my mother made it her mission to make me feel like the lowest piece of scum this planet has ever seen. I have been called so many names today and have been told that I am a terrible, selfish person.Even though I am hurting I know that she didn't really mean what she said to me but still I am finding it ha...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I got a scolding letter from my brother today. He said that I "served him up to his PO", and therefore he will get the extended time in Jail becuase of what my dad and I told his PO. He's mad that I didn't lie about his drinking. Let the silent treatment begin.

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I am working really hard, and have come to step 4 but haven't tackled it yet, or embraced it or whatever you want to say. The thing is, the person I do photography with, the person I invited to work with me in my business is causing me to relapse a bit. I asked her to work with me. Then I allowed her to take ov...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

One thing I'm still confused about is how to respond when I find my wife drunk (hasn't happened in a while, fortunately!). For a while I just sort of thought I would ignore it; now I'm wondering if that does more harm than good. My thoughts at this point are--don't say anything while they are drunk, when t...

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

After 9 days of sobriety, my AH relapsed -- HARD. The sobriety came from him being on such a long, hard binge that his body literally started breaking down. He has blood pressure and cholesterol issues as it is and has been an alcoholic for over 20 years (sometimes worse than others). He got scared th...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Never feel particularly joyful these days but there's been no negatives to speak of and there have been some moments, even hours of enjoyment here and there. Exercising at night has been good. It clears my head and tires me out for bedtime. I've been a little more productive with somethings too, n...

furno78 · furno78

Hi this is going to be a long post so I hope someone will take the time to read it and help me. I have been Married for the past year and a half and I have been with him nearly 5 years. I feel like I have married 2 people 1 who I adore the most amazing kind hearted man I have ever met and the other I cant even stomach. H...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Hey everyone. I really appreciate all the help and support I have recieved from all of you. I have been struggling a lot these past couple days. I broke up with my addict boyfriend of about a year yesterday because he started using again. I have found it so hard to stay away from him and not talk to him. He li...

wife2010 · wife2010

I've been married for about 8 years now, my husband prior to us getting married he was addicted to drugs, but I was so naive that I decided to continue and see if he would give up the drug. during the 8 years have been a battle with that addiction. I decided to separate back in early this year, but we only ende...

bud · bud

My aka is "carmen"; I have been working this program over a year and am not a spammer. Have I been banned because my web connection appears similar to someone who spammed? Or, is there a reason why the MIP website does not want me here? I am panicking because I rely so heavily on MIP for help. I...

Holly09 · Holly09

Things around here have been awful since Sat. My A boyfriends dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor so we are waiting to hear about treatment. My bfriend lost his mom 2yrs ago to cancer and his younger brother in February to cancer so he is having a hard time and has started therapy. He hasn't been drink...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Was walking the dog, everything was ok and the mind started thinking all the negative thoughts again (I'm not good at enough at________, I'll never get out from under debt, my house looks like crap etc.).....hopefully someday this won't happen. I'm fighting it best I can, I'm going to try to exerci...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Yesterday my AH told me his crew would be working 10 hours. I sent a message to the wife of the family he's staying with (the husband is working with my AH), commenting how I was glad they were working 10, since it would give my AH less time to sit around their house feeling sorry for himself. I realize and ac...

clteach · clteach

Just want to give a little of my history and then ask a couple of questions. I have a history of "falling in love" and trusting addicts of one type or another. I married at 18 an alcoholic, who at the time I didn't realize one. He left when I was 22. Visited Al Anon meetings with his mom but did...

Katy · Katy

First I came, Then I came to belive! Then I thought with my head( jeez I had loads of practice doing that! Now it's moving down to my heart (GULP), AND I am multy tasking, thinking and doing, does the thinking ever stop? is it like riding a bike Jerry F, you will know, x everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ((((hug...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Before recovery, I took on other people's emotions like they were my own - particularly the alcoholic's emotions. If the alcoholic was happy, I was happy. If the alcoholic was depressed, I was depressed. If the alcoholic was drunk, I was just as crazy even if I was sober. Even today it's hard - albei...

Ness · Ness

Three years ago my husband and I stopped living any kind of normal life. Its as if the pause button was pressed and we waited for normal service to resume. It was a slow decline for us over the years to reach this stage but the disease of alcoholism is patient, cunning, baffling and powerful and slowly ove...

Katy · Katy

A man is stopped by police at midnight and asked, where is he going? I am on the way to a lecture on the effects of alcohol and drugs abuse on the human body, the policeman say's really? and who is going to give a lecture at this time of night? My WIFE!

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

My boyfriend of almost a year is an addict. He was clean for six months then he relapsed. He has been using on and off since then, which was about three weeks ago. We have broken up and gotten back together a couple times in those past few weeks. I just love him so much and I know that he is capable of stopp...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi all, My AH has been sober now for a little over 2 months since his last relapse. He's working his program and doing all the things he needs to do in his recovery. I'm trying to do the same. My problem is that I am still have resentments toward him for the messes he has caused that are still affecting our lif...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I'd really love to hear how people in the group have handled this issue: I am struggling with trying to control my AH and certain situations. I am struggling with the line between setting boundaries (necessary for my own emotional well being) and trying to control (which just creates more heartache...

mmitche2 · mmitche2

Hi Everyone, I am new here and need support. I have been married 11 years and just recently, in May to June, my husband went away to a rehab. He job intervened and we had a full intervention and he went to rehab. About three weeks later, he was drinking again. I have trouble because I constantly feel convi...

Ness · Ness

Hi all, been away polishing the tools, keeping the focus on me by minding my own business and renewing my strength and courage in the room. I feel better and stronger and have locked the poor mes back in their box! Although I havent been posting I have been with you all every day reading all the posts and i...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

I could really use so help getting unstuck from my self defeating habit of continually procrastinating. I have been coming here and reading everyones posts for a few weeks and it seems to help my mood but I seem to really be lacking in the action department. I seem to still spend alot of time in my head, t...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I was finally able to attend my first in-person meeting yesterday. In some ways it was uncomfortable and overwhelming, surrounded by strangers and not fully knowing how the meeting would be structured or what it would involve. But of course, everyone was open and welcoming. I chose to "pas...

tlcate · tlcate

Mini fourth step and sometimes the results just really stink. Have a lot going on - but in the middle of it I feel a discomfort that doesn't belong - that bad apple making the rest of a difficult situation even worse. So I sit down with pen and paper and start writing. Jeeeez. Denial, it sure is a comfortab...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Stress released Miraculous cure in the melting of the ice, stress, negative...whatever of the moment Invocation of others to SMILE in response Love of self in that moment of appreciation of something positive Emotional tonic and the release of Endorphins in the body. So how can I SMILE when I am goin...

member922 · member922

So I have attended 2 meetings now. The first was very interesting, not so much the content, but the learning of the way it works. The first was about the 10th step or something like that. And the one last night was about the 11th step or practice or whatever they call it. I am just beginning with this and t...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I had such an interesting experience at the face to face Al Anon meeting I attended last night. First, I'm still a beginner so I attended the beginner's meeting, which is a short meeting before the main meeting. Last night was my 4th meeting so I don't really feel like a beginner anymore but I still find...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Sometimes I know myself so well. And of course sometimes i'm clueless. The questions I posted and pondered the other night was helpful. I've conclude that I can be happy WHILE I'm striving, searching, hoping and dreaming. That I can still do those things and be happy BEFORE anything comes to fruit...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, I believe I've raised this issue in the past but I'd like to raise it again as I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable with this concept and it's causing me some conflict in really putting the Al Anon methods into practice. To recap, my wife is attending AA but still actively drinking. Not on a da...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've been doing some thinking lately, something I hate to do....mirror time, and I am not always gentle on myself when it comes to that. Still waiting on news of my Uncle, praying and trying to turn it over, but having trouble doing so again....always find myself taking it back. My HP and I "yo yo&...

bud · bud

As many of you may know, I've had some large challenges that are weighing me down. So, I've been praying and praying for my HP to give me the wisdom and strength to manage them; I've also prayed for my HP to take them from me. Well, this morning is a distraction, all right! First I'm locked out of MIP, then...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I was walking the dog tonight, a beautiful clear starry night...you could see stars behind stars it was so clear..you know the clusters of stars you don't normally see. Anyway while I intellectually recognized it as beautiful....I couldn't feel much at all! I should have been IMO moved and mildy e...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well everytime I think I have heard more than I can bare. All I have to do is wait for another day lately. I had my gd 5 days last week and I felt good about that. Knowing she was getting norishment and dressed properly and spent enough time on her reading which she has difficulty with and her mother is suppo...

helpme08 · helpme08

It's been a very long time since I have been on this website. I went to my first face to face meeting this morning, so I have been thinking a lot about this program. I actually told my boss and coworkers that I had a doctor appointment, but went to an Alanon meeting. My story is that my husband is a type 1 di...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Conceptually, I understand how detachment works with respect to my AH. My question is more about how it works when it comes to talking/venting about my problems with loved ones. On the one hand, it helps to be open with people about my struggles. But on the other hand, when I talk about the challenge...

dollmininut · dollmininut

I met my husband over 25 years ago when he was actively drinking (we were not married then). I gave him a choice then it was me or the drugs and alcohol, he chose the latter. I told him to call me when he was clean and sober in 2 years (I waited for him). Well, he did, but he wasn't. We split for good and I went...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hello, one thing I am struggling with as time passes by is my anger & frustration. I can't help but feel so angry towards my wife when she drinks. I'm trying to learn to hide it and trying to keep it under control. But I'm finding it is becoming harder and harder as time goes by. Even if my wife doesn't dr...

soozin12 · soozin12

I am just starting ALAnon and have the courage to change book, I just feel at a loss on how to even make any changes. I live with my AH and his 3 children (I have no children of my own). I just learned AH quit his job today-he "couldn't handle it" any more. That is all the explanation given and if I ev...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I have a sleeping Tiger and just occasionally it jumps up and roars... (Preview) ...this Tiger is called loneliness. You'd think that after twenty years of marriage to a violent AH who served so much time away from home whilst I brought up the family the best I could AND worked full time and had two other jobs to try to make ends meet; and then twenty years of living alone after our divo...	Suzannah	10	722	Nov 8, 2010 by maresie
	Prayers please (Preview) ((((Family)))), I talked to Tim's Dad yesterday. It's always a bit bittersweet as he sounds just like his son. I was asking about Tim's favorite aunt (mine too), Aunt Linda. Well she's not doing so good. She fell and broke her hip and last week she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This breaks my he...	Karilynn	10	697	Nov 8, 2010 by Gailey
	We Become Co-Dependents At An Early Age !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I want to share this with everyone. This afternoon I was walking my two Black Labs Ellie and Daisy when I noticed a piece of yellow 8x10 paper that somehow had blown into my yard. As I reached down to pick it up I noticed it contained a note from a very young girl probably 6 years old to her boyfriend. I read th...	RLC	7	694	Nov 7, 2010 by dragonflys
	ESH and prayers needed (Preview) I find myself struggling today, and questioning my HP or any HP at this point. I went to visit my Uncle again yesterday. For those who don't know...he has lung cancer and his wife is failing mentally. Fifty five years together, 4 kids of their own, 3 adopted children, a life lived mostly in church wit...	shellyj123	3	703	Nov 7, 2010 by Andrea12
	Don't know what is happening young people are over doseing way too much!!!! (Preview) (((((((((Family)))))))), I have no idea what is going on in my town. It is a small town but Dear God drugs are destroying it. Once again tonight, two young people od'd. I do not know how they are as far as I know they are alive by a string. What the hell is going on???? This is becoming a weekend ritual in t...	Andrea12	3	360	Nov 7, 2010 by lyndebi
	I haven`t been to a meeting in a week and it shows.. (Preview) Boy am I feeling the affects of not having been to a meeting. Either for health reasons or I have been busy over the past week. I find myself wanting to scream at my daughter... Usually I can control the unrest and sometimes even feel bad for her but when I see that she is not caring for my gd something inside...	Samsgram	2	578	Nov 7, 2010 by Samsgram
	When will it end? (Preview) I am almost 65 years old and my father has been gone for almost 5 years now. He was not a physically violent alchoholic, but was verbally abusive and always demanding perfection. Of me, that is. Not so with my sis (4 years younger) and brother (9 years younger). Nothing I ever did was good enough for him. E...	p_rlong	5	832	Nov 7, 2010 by Jerry F
	Brain damage (Preview) My son has been dry and in a recovery programme since June. Contact has been sporadic with him, short catch up chats kind of thing. We visited him a few months ago and took him out for a meal, his hands were trembling and his concentration span was short (nothing unusual in early recovery).He phoned me th...	Ness	8	842	Nov 7, 2010 by xeno59
	"I really miss you!" (Preview) Those sweet words that are the siren call to the co-dependent. I really got to experience how well my recovery is working this morning. Those words don't draw me in any more. I talked on the phone for a little while with my exAH and wanted to see if I could get rid of a couple of outdoor lounge chairs that I di...	Aloha	5	691	Nov 7, 2010 by member922
	what fav song uplifts your spirits? (Preview) I Love search for the hero inside yourself, and How do you like your eggs in the morning, I like mine with a smile! Katyx	Katy	10	1020	Nov 7, 2010 by Katy
	he's drinking with my son, court again? (Preview) I agreed to let him have visitation on his own (DA basically said judge would award it anyways since my son can talk) 4 hours .. 8 hours .. and soon over nights should start. Well they should have started 2 weeks ago but for some reason A thinks it's this month. So I've just let him believe that. Anyways the f...	Melissa21	9	819	Nov 6, 2010 by wp
	Had to go away to find me, in order to come back to share me. (Preview) When I went away I had to go because I found that I was not fully concentrating on the issues that I needed to sort out for myself, in myself. I was loathe to do that at first for it meant that I had to leave my amazing Sponsor behind too, as well as this family. This is what it meant to me. I had to believe in me...	Suzannah	7	1490	Nov 6, 2010 by david62
	It will get better! (Preview) I know that it is already getting better! thanks for the prayers & best wishes! You have called it: I am resilient! I have always felt like that. I have always hung in there for the better--it just seemed like sometimes it wasn't going to. It is getting closer to my Alanon birthday: January 4th. I am...	Hoot Nanny	3	680	Nov 6, 2010 by Tattyhead
	just a quickie! (Preview) this is gonna be a quick note for all of you who may be thinking about me & even to those who aren't. I am doing pretty well although I had to make an emergency appt. w/ my surgeon on Tuesday the 2nd. Anyhow, the appt. went well. I am OK but behind in my recovery. I actually was starting to get depressed &am...	Hoot Nanny	6	661	Nov 6, 2010 by xeno59
	A few moments of pure joy...... (Preview) I actually was aware of experiencing joy last night. I have a Black Shih Tzu named, Blacky....of course...daughter named him. He is the cutest most affectionate dog I've ever known. Well at night it seems he releases his pent up energy and runs around the house like nut and attacks (playfully) anyt...	mjhyankees	5	812	Nov 6, 2010 by xeno59
	Daylight Savings Time (Preview) (((((Family))))), Good morning! Just a reminder that those of you who observe Daylight Savings Time, you need to set your clocks back 1 hour before going to bed tonight. That means I get an extra hour of vacation! That means we get an extra hour of sleep, providing Miss Pipers allows that. What's...	Karilynn	2	460	Nov 6, 2010 by member922
	MAJOR test this weekend... (Preview) Tomorrow is my son's 2nd birthday...we are going to visit my dad & his wife to celebrate...many people from my side of the family will be there and my wife is stressing big time... Many members of my family abuse alcohol so I'm sure there will be a lot of booze there...No one in my family knows about my...	usedtobeanyer	11	434	Nov 6, 2010 by Ness
	Preparing for the weekend (Preview) My older kids will be with their dad this weekend, so it will just be me and the baby. I'm trying to make enough plans for the weekend so that I stay sufficiently occupied with things other than my obsession. I will NOT text and call my AH obsessively, trying to create "opportunities" for him t...	stephaniej	8	815	Nov 6, 2010 by Ness
	First Meeting (Preview) and it didn't go the way I expected = ( It was voting time and they were having elections = ( Someone did come up to me and explained that it wasn't a typical meeting and to please come back next Wednesday so that is what I'm going to do....	Hopeless	3	368	Nov 6, 2010 by Andrea12
	Business Meeting Sunday November 7th at 9pmest (Preview) Business Meeting Sunday, Agenda Meeting Schedule Vote for room preditor If you have anything you would like added to the agenda please contact me. Thanks Kerry (aka kerisha)	kerry5	0	255	Nov 5, 2010 by kerry5
	How do you brush it off? (Preview) Today my mother made it her mission to make me feel like the lowest piece of scum this planet has ever seen. I have been called so many names today and have been told that I am a terrible, selfish person.Even though I am hurting I know that she didn't really mean what she said to me but still I am finding it ha...	hfrush	11	1238	Nov 5, 2010 by mjhyankees
	It's all my fault (Preview) I got a scolding letter from my brother today. He said that I "served him up to his PO", and therefore he will get the extended time in Jail becuase of what my dad and I told his PO. He's mad that I didn't lie about his drinking. Let the silent treatment begin.	NCSUgeology	8	458	Nov 5, 2010 by canadianguy
	Owning what I want.... (Preview) I am working really hard, and have come to step 4 but haven't tackled it yet, or embraced it or whatever you want to say. The thing is, the person I do photography with, the person I invited to work with me in my business is causing me to relapse a bit. I asked her to work with me. Then I allowed her to take ov...	sunflowergirl	8	652	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Simple question--how do you respond when your spouse or whomever is drunk? (Preview) One thing I'm still confused about is how to respond when I find my wife drunk (hasn't happened in a while, fortunately!). For a while I just sort of thought I would ignore it; now I'm wondering if that does more harm than good. My thoughts at this point are--don't say anything while they are drunk, when t...	usedtobeanyer	12	863	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Feel Like Breaking Down... (Preview) After 9 days of sobriety, my AH relapsed -- HARD. The sobriety came from him being on such a long, hard binge that his body literally started breaking down. He has blood pressure and cholesterol issues as it is and has been an alcoholic for over 20 years (sometimes worse than others). He got scared th...	sunshinemama	5	441	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Feeling......just oK.....but that's ok..... (Preview) Never feel particularly joyful these days but there's been no negatives to speak of and there have been some moments, even hours of enjoyment here and there. Exercising at night has been good. It clears my head and tires me out for bedtime. I've been a little more productive with somethings too, n...	mjhyankees	3	743	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Dont know where to turn, first time post please help (Preview) Hi this is going to be a long post so I hope someone will take the time to read it and help me. I have been Married for the past year and a half and I have been with him nearly 5 years. I feel like I have married 2 people 1 who I adore the most amazing kind hearted man I have ever met and the other I cant even stomach. H...	furno78	7	915	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	What should I do? :'( (Preview) Hey everyone. I really appreciate all the help and support I have recieved from all of you. I have been struggling a lot these past couple days. I broke up with my addict boyfriend of about a year yesterday because he started using again. I have found it so hard to stay away from him and not talk to him. He li...	Brookiebabe222	5	737	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	confused wife---need some advice!!!!!!!help (Preview) I've been married for about 8 years now, my husband prior to us getting married he was addicted to drugs, but I was so naive that I decided to continue and see if he would give up the drug. during the 8 years have been a battle with that addiction. I decided to separate back in early this year, but we only ende...	wife2010	6	690	Nov 5, 2010 by DreamXL
	please help- have I been banned from the chat room?? Kerisha?? (Preview) My aka is "carmen"; I have been working this program over a year and am not a spammer. Have I been banned because my web connection appears similar to someone who spammed? Or, is there a reason why the MIP website does not want me here? I am panicking because I rely so heavily on MIP for help. I...	bud	7	857	Nov 5, 2010 by Christy
	So much mental and emotional pain. (Preview) Things around here have been awful since Sat. My A boyfriends dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor so we are waiting to hear about treatment. My bfriend lost his mom 2yrs ago to cancer and his younger brother in February to cancer so he is having a hard time and has started therapy. He hasn't been drink...	Holly09	2	732	Nov 4, 2010 by lyndebi
	Trying to fight off negative thoughts..... (Preview) Was walking the dog, everything was ok and the mind started thinking all the negative thoughts again (I'm not good at enough at________, I'll never get out from under debt, my house looks like crap etc.).....hopefully someday this won't happen. I'm fighting it best I can, I'm going to try to exerci...	mjhyankees	8	862	Nov 4, 2010 by Jerry F
	My own relapse (Preview) Yesterday my AH told me his crew would be working 10 hours. I sent a message to the wife of the family he's staying with (the husband is working with my AH), commenting how I was glad they were working 10, since it would give my AH less time to sit around their house feeling sorry for himself. I realize and ac...	stephaniej	10	829	Nov 4, 2010 by Jerry F
	New/Questions (Preview) Just want to give a little of my history and then ask a couple of questions. I have a history of "falling in love" and trusting addicts of one type or another. I married at 18 an alcoholic, who at the time I didn't realize one. He left when I was 22. Visited Al Anon meetings with his mom but did...	clteach	4	423	Nov 4, 2010 by clteach
	I did? (Preview) First I came, Then I came to belive! Then I thought with my head( jeez I had loads of practice doing that! Now it's moving down to my heart (GULP), AND I am multy tasking, thinking and doing, does the thinking ever stop? is it like riding a bike Jerry F, you will know, x everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ((((hug...	Katy	2	548	Nov 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Feeling a little anxiety (Preview) Before recovery, I took on other people's emotions like they were my own - particularly the alcoholic's emotions. If the alcoholic was happy, I was happy. If the alcoholic was depressed, I was depressed. If the alcoholic was drunk, I was just as crazy even if I was sober. Even today it's hard - albei...	White Rabbit	4	638	Nov 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Releasing the pause button! (Preview) Three years ago my husband and I stopped living any kind of normal life. Its as if the pause button was pressed and we waited for normal service to resume. It was a slow decline for us over the years to reach this stage but the disease of alcoholism is patient, cunning, baffling and powerful and slowly ove...	Ness	9	757	Nov 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Humour (Preview) A man is stopped by police at midnight and asked, where is he going? I am on the way to a lecture on the effects of alcohol and drugs abuse on the human body, the policeman say's really? and who is going to give a lecture at this time of night? My WIFE!	Katy	3	450	Nov 4, 2010 by tiredtonite
	I am a complete mess (Preview) My boyfriend of almost a year is an addict. He was clean for six months then he relapsed. He has been using on and off since then, which was about three weeks ago. We have broken up and gotten back together a couple times in those past few weeks. I just love him so much and I know that he is capable of stopp...	Brookiebabe222	7	416	Nov 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Building resentments.... (Preview) Hi all, My AH has been sober now for a little over 2 months since his last relapse. He's working his program and doing all the things he needs to do in his recovery. I'm trying to do the same. My problem is that I am still have resentments toward him for the messes he has caused that are still affecting our lif...	stopandchat	3	736	Nov 4, 2010 by kitty
	Another detachment question (Preview) I'd really love to hear how people in the group have handled this issue: I am struggling with trying to control my AH and certain situations. I am struggling with the line between setting boundaries (necessary for my own emotional well being) and trying to control (which just creates more heartache...	stephaniej	5	691	Nov 4, 2010 by pineapple
	New Here (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new here and need support. I have been married 11 years and just recently, in May to June, my husband went away to a rehab. He job intervened and we had a full intervention and he went to rehab. About three weeks later, he was drinking again. I have trouble because I constantly feel convi...	mmitche2	5	348	Nov 4, 2010 by pineapple
	Hi all (Preview) Hi all, been away polishing the tools, keeping the focus on me by minding my own business and renewing my strength and courage in the room. I feel better and stronger and have locked the poor mes back in their box! Although I havent been posting I have been with you all every day reading all the posts and i...	Ness	5	370	Nov 4, 2010 by Ness
	Procrastination (Preview) I could really use so help getting unstuck from my self defeating habit of continually procrastinating. I have been coming here and reading everyones posts for a few weeks and it seems to help my mood but I seem to really be lacking in the action department. I seem to still spend alot of time in my head, t...	Ginger90	6	1163	Nov 3, 2010 by maire rua
	Attended my first Meeting (Preview) I was finally able to attend my first in-person meeting yesterday. In some ways it was uncomfortable and overwhelming, surrounded by strangers and not fully knowing how the meeting would be structured or what it would involve. But of course, everyone was open and welcoming. I chose to "pas...	stephaniej	6	379	Nov 3, 2010 by SteppingUp
	Blah (Preview) Mini fourth step and sometimes the results just really stink. Have a lot going on - but in the middle of it I feel a discomfort that doesn't belong - that bad apple making the rest of a difficult situation even worse. So I sit down with pen and paper and start writing. Jeeeez. Denial, it sure is a comfortab...	tlcate	6	773	Nov 3, 2010 by glad lee
	What's in a SMILE? How can I SMILE when I am going through so much sadness? (Preview) Stress released Miraculous cure in the melting of the ice, stress, negative...whatever of the moment Invocation of others to SMILE in response Love of self in that moment of appreciation of something positive Emotional tonic and the release of Endorphins in the body. So how can I SMILE when I am goin...	Suzannah	5	850	Nov 3, 2010 by shellyj123
	Another meeting question (Preview) So I have attended 2 meetings now. The first was very interesting, not so much the content, but the learning of the way it works. The first was about the 10th step or something like that. And the one last night was about the 11th step or practice or whatever they call it. I am just beginning with this and t...	member922	6	886	Nov 3, 2010 by member922
	Last night's meeting (Preview) I had such an interesting experience at the face to face Al Anon meeting I attended last night. First, I'm still a beginner so I attended the beginner's meeting, which is a short meeting before the main meeting. Last night was my 4th meeting so I don't really feel like a beginner anymore but I still find...	usedtobeanyer	5	429	Nov 3, 2010 by abbyal
	Getting some answers..... (Preview) Sometimes I know myself so well. And of course sometimes i'm clueless. The questions I posted and pondered the other night was helpful. I've conclude that I can be happy WHILE I'm striving, searching, hoping and dreaming. That I can still do those things and be happy BEFORE anything comes to fruit...	mjhyankees	4	359	Nov 3, 2010 by ythannah
	Question about kids with a parent who is drinking (Preview) Hi all, I believe I've raised this issue in the past but I'd like to raise it again as I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable with this concept and it's causing me some conflict in really putting the Al Anon methods into practice. To recap, my wife is attending AA but still actively drinking. Not on a da...	usedtobeanyer	11	817	Nov 3, 2010 by Ness
	It's still working me...and I love it! (Preview) I've been doing some thinking lately, something I hate to do....mirror time, and I am not always gentle on myself when it comes to that. Still waiting on news of my Uncle, praying and trying to turn it over, but having trouble doing so again....always find myself taking it back. My HP and I "yo yo&...	shellyj123	3	663	Nov 3, 2010 by Katy
	being careful what we wish for (Preview) As many of you may know, I've had some large challenges that are weighing me down. So, I've been praying and praying for my HP to give me the wisdom and strength to manage them; I've also prayed for my HP to take them from me. Well, this morning is a distraction, all right! First I'm locked out of MIP, then...	bud	3	747	Nov 2, 2010 by Jerry F
	CAn't feel? (Preview) I was walking the dog tonight, a beautiful clear starry night...you could see stars behind stars it was so clear..you know the clusters of stars you don't normally see. Anyway while I intellectually recognized it as beautiful....I couldn't feel much at all! I should have been IMO moved and mildy e...	mjhyankees	5	603	Nov 2, 2010 by mjhyankees
	7 year old thinks she may be like mama when she`s older. (Preview) Well everytime I think I have heard more than I can bare. All I have to do is wait for another day lately. I had my gd 5 days last week and I felt good about that. Knowing she was getting norishment and dressed properly and spent enough time on her reading which she has difficulty with and her mother is suppo...	Samsgram	4	359	Nov 2, 2010 by Samsgram
	Going Crazy...... (Preview) It's been a very long time since I have been on this website. I went to my first face to face meeting this morning, so I have been thinking a lot about this program. I actually told my boss and coworkers that I had a doctor appointment, but went to an Alanon meeting. My story is that my husband is a type 1 di...	helpme08	3	938	Nov 2, 2010 by Jerry F
	Question about Detaching (Preview) Conceptually, I understand how detachment works with respect to my AH. My question is more about how it works when it comes to talking/venting about my problems with loved ones. On the one hand, it helps to be open with people about my struggles. But on the other hand, when I talk about the challenge...	stephaniej	4	395	Nov 2, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Don't want to go on (Preview) I met my husband over 25 years ago when he was actively drinking (we were not married then). I gave him a choice then it was me or the drugs and alcohol, he chose the latter. I told him to call me when he was clean and sober in 2 years (I waited for him). Well, he did, but he wasn't. We split for good and I went...	dollmininut	12	878	Nov 2, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Having a hard time with my anger & frustration (Preview) Hello, one thing I am struggling with as time passes by is my anger & frustration. I can't help but feel so angry towards my wife when she drinks. I'm trying to learn to hide it and trying to keep it under control. But I'm finding it is becoming harder and harder as time goes by. Even if my wife doesn't dr...	usedtobeanyer	13	702	Nov 2, 2010 by oklahoma momof5
	What to do when AH says "pick me up beer" (Preview) I am just starting ALAnon and have the courage to change book, I just feel at a loss on how to even make any changes. I live with my AH and his 3 children (I have no children of my own). I just learned AH quit his job today-he "couldn't handle it" any more. That is all the explanation given and if I ev...	soozin12	8	788	Nov 2, 2010 by SteppingUp
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.