The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I actually was aware of experiencing joy last night. I have a Black Shih Tzu named, Blacky....of course...daughter named him. He is the cutest most affectionate dog I've ever known. Well at night it seems he releases his pent up energy and runs around the house like nut and attacks (playfully) anything that moves. I played with him for about 10 minutes....had stopped earlier but he followed me around the house with his toy in his mouth...actually nudging me with it, so I played some more. During the day today, it struck how much sheer joy I felt during those minutes.
For me my happiness is in my control. That doesn't mean that life is always perfect. Thinking positive and being positive is like this program...it takes practice. Lots of times when things are not going my way I stop and think, RLC none of this is going to mater a hundred years from now, and that gets things into the right perspective for me. Be positive and take care of yourself first and you can't go wrong.
Speaking of dogs, I have two Black Labs who are with me 24/7, home and business. Anyone who has a dog understands the true meaning of unconditional love. I say I am the only person who goes to work with two 75 pound dogs piled up in the front seat. It's easy for me to understand the "sheer joy" you experienced.
That's it Mj that's just great,and when we start to feel it again we can build on it, and for me the knack of this programme is recognising that I am capable and worthy of happiness, and even when the bad days come, to put the emphasis on the things that uplift me and bring me the joy you speak of moves me further away from the bad habits I learnt that made me feel joyless, I have a cat at work and his name is Ben, he always puts a smile on my face too! x
I was always a really light-hearted person, cup always half full kind of thing. As I got enmeshed in the disease I became an empty shell. Smiles, joy, happiness, anticipation all slipped away along with friends and family.
I didn't want to be a grandmother, but 3 yrs ago my grand-daughter arrived. Her birth came in the absolute worst year of my life, the year my Ason ceased to function on any normal level and I realised he was a full blown alcoholic.....and I stopped functioning too.
My HP knew what I needed in my life and Ive been given the gift of unlimited joy with that child. She made me want to go on, I want to be a fun and healthy grand-mother. I had her all to myself for a week recently and we skipped and kicked through fallen autumn leaves with gay abandon, had jam sandwich picnics and lots of long chats about princesses and plenty singing......she loves to sing.
The year she was born turned out not to be the worst year of the disease, there was worse to come but that little thing held up close to me could make me forget everything else for a while.
Happiness is an inside job and Im getting back there slowly, and you are too.
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