Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

MVP · MVP

I don't know why but maybe I am doing too much. Expecting too much. My 21 year old AD is in recovery, living home, doing her program as best I can tell. But she seems to shut me out, be offended that I may not trust her, seems annoyed I request a text and have her check in. She does live in our home, drive our car...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Well it seems moving on happens gradually and when we least expect it. After 7 years (3 1/2 of them sober, but not sure how he is now), manipulation, lies and cheating that come along with it, not to mention suspected sociopathy by his part.....I've finally snapped out of it the day (Last Monday) he wa...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Heard that in my Al Anon meeting tonight. Wow, really took my breath away. I posted the other day about how I have focused completely on my wife and not at all on myself. Why did she say that? Why did she do that? Why didn't she say/do that? It's been that way since we met. It's a wonder she married me. One of m...

Debilyn · Debilyn

People sorta quietly disappear. Just wondered.... deb

DreamXL · DreamXL

Is anyone else having a problem getting into the meeting room?

Katy · Katy

Doooooooooo do do do, yep thats where I am at, for me it's all the little nitty gritty things,like making decisions and not getting into the whole head convo with myself thingy, and also I have a terrible habit of always wanting to justify myself, gotta do more practice on using simple solutions for com...

Jozie · Jozie

Soooo... Tomorrow is D Day... I guess it has been on my mind more today then it has, but it hasn't been an Easy week so far and its only Monday :( I know that I will be Fine, or at least that is what I keep telling myself...but a Few Glitches in my Expectations left me feeling depleated a touch... Saturday afte...

casa · casa

I have an event tonight at my kiddo's school so I most likely won't be here to chair tonight's meeting. It would be great if someone could cover for me. Thanks!

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

So I have a long drive to work every day and my son was with me. I could tell from his body language (I am an expert in that department) that he was upset about having to stay at his step-dad's house and I really wanted to help get to the bottom of why. I asked him about what goes on there, if his step dad (the fa...

Katy · Katy

I was dealing with, I think it would be fair to say I was in my late forties and only through haunting these boards and my thirst for perfection and my huge ego, and out of control will, did I start to know, that now I did know although I cannot change the past, I can certainly change my future, at the moment I a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

HP hangs onto me tight. I met this wonderful lady who adopted my littlest Shi Tzu/Poo. The gal has a huge place and two other ones she rescued. Her grandaughter fell in love with little Jellyhead. Jelly LOVES them too. She sleeps in their bed with them The gal has money so Jelly won't want for anything. Re...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I am hoping someone can relate. I was divorced in June of 2010. When I received the official papers, I did not feel the "joy of relief" like a friend said I would feel. Looking back, I think I felt nothing. So I must have suppressed my emotions. I began a high stress job in August. I have a ve...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

After a very pleasant 1 week "visit" from my estranged AW after she left rehab, I am noticing the addiction creep back into her life. I should clarify I am using the term "visit" metaphorically, she did not move back in with me, but we did things as a family where she was presen...

freeagain · freeagain

I was in a meeting the other day where a woman was sharing that she created a boundry and enforced it. She was feeling proud of herself for enforcing and following thru with her boundry but at a loss as to what to do now.... I remember so well being there. I made the boundry "if you drink then you will no...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I got up early this morning and decided not to try to eke out those extra few minutes of sleep in my room which was still dark. Decided to take the girls (Chloe and Sadie) for a walk in the dark and they were up for it. Drove down to our usual walking area and as we were walking I thought about how dark the area...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

EMG's post (just before this one) really rang true for me. I am still married to my AH. After more than 10 years I sit here and wonder why I am letting it continue. About 3 years of heavy drinking, 4 years of detached sobriety, 3 more years of heavy drinking, lying and financial hardship, and now we are e...

Evian · Evian

I was suppose to take my AH to get an MRI done this evening. The hospital we were going to does MRIs 24/7, and his appt. was scheduled for 12:15am. He wanted me to go with him, he said it was to support him, I knew it was because he wanted to drink. He told me I should lay down for a nap, seeing as I had to be up late....

stephaniej · stephaniej

Someone posted earlier today, or yesterday, that once we attend a face-to-face meeting, and we start to absorb the program like a sponge, that we should not let the sponge dry out. So, so true. I am a dried up crusty old sponge. I have been on an intermittent backslide for weeks now, and it culminated i...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

What do I do with me? LOL. Seriously, I am very tender right now and feeling vulnerable do to a bad tooth ache that is getting taken care of next week... and other asundry things that us Alanonics do to ourselves, and I just want some kind and gentle feed back on how to keep me busy while he is working on his...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Well, I have been new to this forum for the past 28 days. I have upside down, mixed up, confussed, anxiety, depressed, lost guilty,anger and whatever messed up feelings a chick could have..lol I have been working the program for 28 days & 28 nights. Godzilla (AH) just came home today from intensiv...

emg · emg

I've read a lot about those who have called it quits while the significant other is still actively drinking. I guess I kinda did this, but it happened to be the turning point for him. It seems something has finally switched for him and he now wants recovery and is actively seeking it out. My problem is I fe...

mexigrl64 · mexigrl64

Hi, I'm glad I found this board as it helps to "talk" to others that have been at this point. My 76 year old father checked into rehab yesterday - they say the average is a 5 day stay. After that, hopefully, he will attend AA. I went to Barnes and Noble today to see if I could find books about reco...

shimo · shimo

The appointment that was preventing me from chairing the Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting has just been changed to the afternoon. With this change in scheduling, I will now be able to chair the meeting this morning. See you there.

parfait624 · parfait624

I know that the only way to achieve my goals is to work on myself, but I can't help but to be annoyed sometimes. I am annoyed with my AH because it's not fair. It's not fair that he so easy walks in and out of my life. How he can say things to me like he never loved me, or he needs no contact with me out of no where...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

It's becoming apparent that one of my biggest issues is my tendency to focus on others instead of myself. Specifically, my wife. But this is a problem that I've had long before I met my wife. It's only through Al Anon and through therapy that I've realized how much this is holding me back. I think being a...

parfait624 · parfait624

My AHboyfriend and I started having problems around thanksgiving. He has three years sobriety under his belt and this was our second attempt at the relashionship. Over night everything seemed to fall apart. He I believe is a dry alcoholic. He replaced drinking with playing poker. Serious up a...

shimo · shimo

I am unable honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon meeting Monday morning. Hoping another OP or one of the other members will step up and chair for me. Thanks.

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

It is so comforting to come here and realize how I'm not the crazy or awful one. My ex-boyfriend always told me our relationship problems where all my fault and that I was crazy. The verbal abuse, the lies, the mindgames, etc. literally drove me until I hit my bottom emotionally. I knew he had an addictio...

glad lee · glad lee

It's been awhile since I phoned my former sponsor (from the former state I lived in) but I got to talk with her yesterday. I asked her about her new grandchild... her voice was so full of joy! I told her how I had been fantasizing about becoming a grandmother... even though I am waaay into the future with...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

As I mentioned earlier my wife completed a 30 day. I have attended a few meetings. Rationally understanding what I was hearing and honestly trying to state back what I had heard. I was enjoying a period of calm with my wife hoping for her recovery. I was completely focused on her, waiting for her to me...

Debilyn · Debilyn

It was so hard, but I placed an ad for Brimley one of my Shi Tzu/Poodles. The first call I got was from a man who is 74. Jim had had to put his only companion down two weeks ago. He cried, tried not to let me know. I told him it is very ok, that my dad cries over his dog he lost too. I took Brim over to meet Jim. Now Jim i...

Irish1 · Irish1

My stomach was in knots all day yesterday because I was so worried about telling my fiance that I was going to a meeting. He had already been drinking by the time I got home from work (as usual). I asked him how he would feel about me going to an al anon meeting. He told me "Do what you have to do,. But I alr...

jocelgp · jocelgp

all i know is that i get a different feeling, mixed emotion of disappointment, sadness, anger whenever my husband would have a drink with his friends. i feel more comfortable if i'm around when he drinks, but it doesn't mean i like what he's doing, i still don't like it. worse is when he would insist to...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

The topic at my f2f meeting last night was control - specifically, how we stopped trying to control and our awareness of our own attempts to control. Many people mentioned that before they got some recovery, they would tell the addict the same things over and over. Most of the stuff they would say ha...

Sandy_K · Sandy_K

I posted a few days ago for the first time and I'm so grateful for the outreach and support. I have spent so much time since then looking for local meetings and have found a few. I know there are more, and I will find times and schedules that work for me. Today is 7 weeks since my youngest took his life. There a...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

but I did feel like I was going to throw up before I walked in.... Here I was just doing the most basic thing for myself - getting some support and I had trouble. I nearly turned around too but I thought of my children and walked in that door. And guess what? It was good. I belong there. Someone even gave...

Evian · Evian

So... After weeks of procrastinating... I finally went to my first f2f meeting tonight. Yes, I was a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect.. My uneasiness soon faded away. There wasn't alot of people there, but that's ok. They were friendly and reassured me that I wasn't alone. We even went for coff...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I have felt like I was at step 1 for a long time. Really since I first started with Al Anon. As I recall, it was pretty easy for me--I am powerless over my wife's drinking. There's nothing I can do about it. And things were certainly unmanageable. Ok, that was easy. And I felt good about it. It was such a refre...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

Wow I feel like the deeper I dig and work on myself the pain starts to come up faster and worse when I get triggered. I feel like every layer I peel back I realize I'm still in denial about so many things. As an update, it's been 11 months since I asked my AH to leave our house. Our son was 8 months at the time and i...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I am human. I know this. I know that we all make mistakes. I need to understand something though...maybe you can help or relate? I believe one of my character defects is something about not wanting to get in trouble. Always trying to save face. I don't know what this comes from, either the sexual a...

freeagain · freeagain

On a morning talk show, a woman, covered her face, refused to give her name and made them change her voice and outted the husband and daughter of the woman who killed her two teen kids for being "mouthy". The reporter said that "in an alanon 12 step meeting, Parker Schenecker and his da...

Hayes · Hayes

Honestly, what was the point of that to try and assertively point out that I feel that I am being constantly being criticised, put down and blamed....what did I get? criticised, put down and blamed....and the wall of denial then a spin back on to me and oh he's leaving my life all together tomorrow with o...

Jozie · Jozie

I find if Funny at times the things that SLAP ya in the face... Old habits and "reactions" that ya "Think" you have conquered...lol... I know before I wouldn't have even gave silly stuff like this a 2nd thought,... But Yesterday, I was Standing in my Shop, With the Husband, Son, &...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

So, I am trying to figure out how to get to a f2f meeting. Asking him to watch the kids so I can go seems too confrontational right now. I don't want to make this about him, it's about me. There is a meeting tomorrow, Friday, at 10 am in my town. I could go when the kids (3 of them) are at school. Here is my qu...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Yes it has been quite awhile since I have posted on here, actually just been on here. I don't know exactly why other than I have been having an "easy" time lately and hadn't felt the need to come here. But I have also come to the conclusion that I NEED to come here anyway and read and share. I don't...

Tamiele · Tamiele

I think this is my first post to the board. I know I have been on here to read in the past but I don't believe I have ever posted. I am now back to learn as much as I can and to also share my experience to hopefully support someone else but also to get feedback and information from others on my situation. I am 4...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hi, I am new here. I have been married for 20 years to a man I believed to be good, honest and in love with me and our children. Over the past few months I have come to realize that he is addicted to alcohol. He is not the same man anymore. I am trying to not question our past but on the bad days I think "...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and the secrets are spilling thru the crack. Thank you HP cause now we can talk about it as a family. He knows, they know, she knows, We know and now that we know we talk about it; and then what? HP always HP cause we are all powerless over the whole problem and only have enough power to surrender it to HP an...

Irish1 · Irish1

My fiance does not know I plan on going to an al anon meeting tonight. I don't think he would take it very well. I'm not sure what to tell him where I am going. Any advice ?

RLC · RLC

To All, This isn't an anniversary, or a milestone. But I'm going to take it as an opportunity to express with genuine love and emotion what all of you have meant to me and my program. I attend my two f2f meetings each week, have for four years running. But without the support, ES&H, guidance, and...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Life is funny sometimes! I am going to go to a place where I am unfamiliar sometimes: Recovery! I have been going at this program for a long time but finally feel a sense of recovery! I have depended on my counselor for so long I have been having trouble making my own decisions. I want to make some & othe...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have posted that have been struggling with 17.5 yr old son. For the sake of brevity I will skip many gory details, but bottom line, it came to where both his dad and I said "enough". Time to do it different. Told him he had to follow the rules or go somewhere else. The rules were to be kind,...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well as one of the members in my home group calls it....today is my "belly button birthday":) And it was a wonderful day...many birthday wishes and calls singing "Happy Birthday", a cake from the folks at work, and a beautiful ring from the Holy Land. Really felt the love and i...

Overcome · Overcome

One of last night's meeting topics was "motives" and this got me to thinking about a recent conversation I had with my ex-husband. This is the same ex-husband that I divorced on August 25, 2009 and had an ex-parte (Order of Protection) on from Nov. 9, 2009 through Nov. 9, 2010. I had been wan...

DreamXL · DreamXL

Ok this is not a big deal but just another reminder....My mom calls me today and says.."you know I was thinking, since you never answer my calls, and neither does your son, you need to when I call becasue what if I was dying"... Really, really mom I say...first I answer your call when I am avail...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Last evening, I had an appointment with my longtime counselor. Actually, I had not been in to see him for about 2 months, because I thought I had been doing so much better. Then came the fall. big ouch I spent the first part of the sessions whining about my ex-AH's present plight, how he is drinking and...

Irish1 · Irish1

Hello, Im 41 years old and live with my alcoholic fiance. We planned to marry this fall but now since moving in with him I realize that marriage is not a good idea. I don't think I can live with a man who is drunk EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's really wearing on me. This is the first time in my life having to deal with a...

maresie · maresie

At a part time job I have (I have one full time and two part time jobs), I am around people who drink alcohol. Once they get a little under their belt the whole place changes, they stand around blocking all the paths to everything, bathroom, whatever it is they are planted down on the ground like some grea...

Sandy_K · Sandy_K

Good evening, It's time to make a change, a positive change in my life. I've been married to a great guy for over 28 years. Undoubtedly you already know my story, he's an alcoholic and has been for the entire time I've known him. He was sober for 6 years but then slowly began drinking again. It's interesti...

Jozie · Jozie

Sooo... Last Couple days here have been the Usual Winter Ugliness, last night however we got a Small Ice storm, nothing like what they were calling for thank Goodness.. I at times catch myself going back to Old post I write and Re-Reading them to see if I have accepted "Growth" on that topic o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	AD in recovery.. seems to take it out on me (Preview) I don't know why but maybe I am doing too much. Expecting too much. My 21 year old AD is in recovery, living home, doing her program as best I can tell. But she seems to shut me out, be offended that I may not trust her, seems annoyed I request a text and have her check in. She does live in our home, drive our car...	MVP	2	719	Feb 9, 2011 by pinkchip
	Moving on happens when we least expect it..... (Preview) Well it seems moving on happens gradually and when we least expect it. After 7 years (3 1/2 of them sober, but not sure how he is now), manipulation, lies and cheating that come along with it, not to mention suspected sociopathy by his part.....I've finally snapped out of it the day (Last Monday) he wa...	RoseODAT	2	975	Feb 9, 2011 by newleaf66
	"If you spot it, you got it" (Preview) Heard that in my Al Anon meeting tonight. Wow, really took my breath away. I posted the other day about how I have focused completely on my wife and not at all on myself. Why did she say that? Why did she do that? Why didn't she say/do that? It's been that way since we met. It's a wonder she married me. One of m...	usedtobeanyer	8	1412	Feb 9, 2011 by stephaniej
	Where did that Yankee guy go? (Preview) People sorta quietly disappear. Just wondered.... deb	Debilyn	3	749	Feb 9, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	meeting room? (Preview) Is anyone else having a problem getting into the meeting room?	DreamXL	1	414	Feb 9, 2011 by LarryWhiteford
	The Now what stage? (Preview) Doooooooooo do do do, yep thats where I am at, for me it's all the little nitty gritty things,like making decisions and not getting into the whole head convo with myself thingy, and also I have a terrible habit of always wanting to justify myself, gotta do more practice on using simple solutions for com...	Katy	1	598	Feb 9, 2011 by knowmadic
	Coming up D Day.... (Preview) Soooo... Tomorrow is D Day... I guess it has been on my mind more today then it has, but it hasn't been an Easy week so far and its only Monday :( I know that I will be Fine, or at least that is what I keep telling myself...but a Few Glitches in my Expectations left me feeling depleated a touch... Saturday afte...	Jozie	4	1398	Feb 8, 2011 by Jozie
	Mtg chair needed for tonight (Tues) (Preview) I have an event tonight at my kiddo's school so I most likely won't be here to chair tonight's meeting. It would be great if someone could cover for me. Thanks!	casa	0	408	Feb 8, 2011 by casa
	Long talk with my 14 year old son (Preview) So I have a long drive to work every day and my son was with me. I could tell from his body language (I am an expert in that department) that he was upset about having to stay at his step-dad's house and I really wanted to help get to the bottom of why. I asked him about what goes on there, if his step dad (the fa...	sunflowergirl	3	932	Feb 8, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	During the time, I didn't know, that I didn't know, just what? (Preview) I was dealing with, I think it would be fair to say I was in my late forties and only through haunting these boards and my thirst for perfection and my huge ego, and out of control will, did I start to know, that now I did know although I cannot change the past, I can certainly change my future, at the moment I a...	Katy	3	776	Feb 8, 2011 by Jerry F
	Little update (Preview) HP hangs onto me tight. I met this wonderful lady who adopted my littlest Shi Tzu/Poo. The gal has a huge place and two other ones she rescued. Her grandaughter fell in love with little Jellyhead. Jelly LOVES them too. She sleeps in their bed with them The gal has money so Jelly won't want for anything. Re...	Debilyn	6	804	Feb 8, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	Divorced and Deeply Depressed (Preview) I am hoping someone can relate. I was divorced in June of 2010. When I received the official papers, I did not feel the "joy of relief" like a friend said I would feel. Looking back, I think I felt nothing. So I must have suppressed my emotions. I began a high stress job in August. I have a ve...	GailMichelle	13	1360	Feb 7, 2011 by Debilyn
	leaning towards divorce (Preview) After a very pleasant 1 week "visit" from my estranged AW after she left rehab, I am noticing the addiction creep back into her life. I should clarify I am using the term "visit" metaphorically, she did not move back in with me, but we did things as a family where she was presen...	DadtoCandE	8	1110	Feb 7, 2011 by DadtoCandE
	drinking = get out (Preview) I was in a meeting the other day where a woman was sharing that she created a boundry and enforced it. She was feeling proud of herself for enforcing and following thru with her boundry but at a loss as to what to do now.... I remember so well being there. I made the boundry "if you drink then you will no...	freeagain	2	689	Feb 7, 2011 by pineapple
	Conversation from HP (Preview) I got up early this morning and decided not to try to eke out those extra few minutes of sleep in my room which was still dark. Decided to take the girls (Chloe and Sadie) for a walk in the dark and they were up for it. Drove down to our usual walking area and as we were walking I thought about how dark the area...	Jerry F	5	835	Feb 7, 2011 by All I can be
	Why is there so much guilt and responsibility? (Preview) EMG's post (just before this one) really rang true for me. I am still married to my AH. After more than 10 years I sit here and wonder why I am letting it continue. About 3 years of heavy drinking, 4 years of detached sobriety, 3 more years of heavy drinking, lying and financial hardship, and now we are e...	looking_for_peace	4	1172	Feb 7, 2011 by tlynna
	Oh my... (Preview) I was suppose to take my AH to get an MRI done this evening. The hospital we were going to does MRIs 24/7, and his appt. was scheduled for 12:15am. He wanted me to go with him, he said it was to support him, I knew it was because he wanted to drink. He told me I should lay down for a nap, seeing as I had to be up late....	Evian	4	809	Feb 7, 2011 by hotrod
	Dried Up Crusty Old Sponge (Preview) Someone posted earlier today, or yesterday, that once we attend a face-to-face meeting, and we start to absorb the program like a sponge, that we should not let the sponge dry out. So, so true. I am a dried up crusty old sponge. I have been on an intermittent backslide for weeks now, and it culminated i...	stephaniej	5	709	Feb 7, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	So he is 2 days sober... (Preview) What do I do with me? LOL. Seriously, I am very tender right now and feeling vulnerable do to a bad tooth ache that is getting taken care of next week... and other asundry things that us Alanonics do to ourselves, and I just want some kind and gentle feed back on how to keep me busy while he is working on his...	sunflowergirl	7	964	Feb 7, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Godzilla Returns (Preview) Well, I have been new to this forum for the past 28 days. I have upside down, mixed up, confussed, anxiety, depressed, lost guilty,anger and whatever messed up feelings a chick could have..lol I have been working the program for 28 days & 28 nights. Godzilla (AH) just came home today from intensiv...	KimmyJo	10	899	Feb 7, 2011 by tlynna
	He's finally in recovery, but I've had enough (Preview) I've read a lot about those who have called it quits while the significant other is still actively drinking. I guess I kinda did this, but it happened to be the turning point for him. It seems something has finally switched for him and he now wants recovery and is actively seeking it out. My problem is I fe...	emg	6	1100	Feb 7, 2011 by danielle0516
	Dad in rehab - first steps when he comes home? (Preview) Hi, I'm glad I found this board as it helps to "talk" to others that have been at this point. My 76 year old father checked into rehab yesterday - they say the average is a 5 day stay. After that, hopefully, he will attend AA. I went to Barnes and Noble today to see if I could find books about reco...	mexigrl64	4	686	Feb 7, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	Update - Monday a.m. Meeting (Preview) The appointment that was preventing me from chairing the Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting has just been changed to the afternoon. With this change in scheduling, I will now be able to chair the meeting this morning. See you there.	shimo	0	468	Feb 7, 2011 by shimo
	It's just annoying (Preview) I know that the only way to achieve my goals is to work on myself, but I can't help but to be annoyed sometimes. I am annoyed with my AH because it's not fair. It's not fair that he so easy walks in and out of my life. How he can say things to me like he never loved me, or he needs no contact with me out of no where...	parfait624	8	525	Feb 7, 2011 by parfait624
	Breaking the habit of focusing on others instead of myself (Preview) It's becoming apparent that one of my biggest issues is my tendency to focus on others instead of myself. Specifically, my wife. But this is a problem that I've had long before I met my wife. It's only through Al Anon and through therapy that I've realized how much this is holding me back. I think being a...	usedtobeanyer	8	5221	Feb 6, 2011 by athabascan indian
	Missing Him the Problem with Detachment (Preview) My AHboyfriend and I started having problems around thanksgiving. He has three years sobriety under his belt and this was our second attempt at the relashionship. Over night everything seemed to fall apart. He I believe is a dry alcoholic. He replaced drinking with playing poker. Serious up a...	parfait624	6	778	Feb 6, 2011 by athabascan indian
	MONDAY A.M. MEETING (Preview) I am unable honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon meeting Monday morning. Hoping another OP or one of the other members will step up and chair for me. Thanks.	shimo	0	387	Feb 6, 2011 by shimo
	Relieved I'm not the crazy one after all (Preview) It is so comforting to come here and realize how I'm not the crazy or awful one. My ex-boyfriend always told me our relationship problems where all my fault and that I was crazy. The verbal abuse, the lies, the mindgames, etc. literally drove me until I hit my bottom emotionally. I knew he had an addictio...	Stillalive2dream	4	1275	Feb 6, 2011 by janet
	projecting into the future (Preview) It's been awhile since I phoned my former sponsor (from the former state I lived in) but I got to talk with her yesterday. I asked her about her new grandchild... her voice was so full of joy! I told her how I had been fantasizing about becoming a grandmother... even though I am waaay into the future with...	glad lee	4	1194	Feb 6, 2011 by RLC
	scratching the surface of step 2? (Preview) As I mentioned earlier my wife completed a 30 day. I have attended a few meetings. Rationally understanding what I was hearing and honestly trying to state back what I had heard. I was enjoying a period of calm with my wife hoping for her recovery. I was completely focused on her, waiting for her to me...	DadtoCandE	5	950	Feb 6, 2011 by Overcome
	Miracles (Preview) It was so hard, but I placed an ad for Brimley one of my Shi Tzu/Poodles. The first call I got was from a man who is 74. Jim had had to put his only companion down two weeks ago. He cried, tried not to let me know. I told him it is very ok, that my dad cries over his dog he lost too. I took Brim over to meet Jim. Now Jim i...	Debilyn	8	1091	Feb 6, 2011 by Loupiness
	I went to a meeting (Preview) My stomach was in knots all day yesterday because I was so worried about telling my fiance that I was going to a meeting. He had already been drinking by the time I got home from work (as usual). I asked him how he would feel about me going to an al anon meeting. He told me "Do what you have to do,. But I alr...	Irish1	4	845	Feb 5, 2011 by wp
	i'm not even sure if my husband is really an alcoholic (Preview) all i know is that i get a different feeling, mixed emotion of disappointment, sadness, anger whenever my husband would have a drink with his friends. i feel more comfortable if i'm around when he drinks, but it doesn't mean i like what he's doing, i still don't like it. worse is when he would insist to...	jocelgp	7	1091	Feb 5, 2011 by jocelgp
	Control and acceptance (Preview) The topic at my f2f meeting last night was control - specifically, how we stopped trying to control and our awareness of our own attempts to control. Many people mentioned that before they got some recovery, they would tell the addict the same things over and over. Most of the stuff they would say ha...	White Rabbit	5	1118	Feb 5, 2011 by jocelgp
	A bit overshelmed (Preview) I posted a few days ago for the first time and I'm so grateful for the outreach and support. I have spent so much time since then looking for local meetings and have found a few. I know there are more, and I will find times and schedules that work for me. Today is 7 weeks since my youngest took his life. There a...	Sandy_K	5	879	Feb 5, 2011 by Katy
	So, I went to that meeting and did not self-combust... (Preview) but I did feel like I was going to throw up before I walked in.... Here I was just doing the most basic thing for myself - getting some support and I had trouble. I nearly turned around too but I thought of my children and walked in that door. And guess what? It was good. I belong there. Someone even gave...	newleaf66	5	810	Feb 5, 2011 by wp
	Finally went to a meeting (Preview) So... After weeks of procrastinating... I finally went to my first f2f meeting tonight. Yes, I was a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect.. My uneasiness soon faded away. There wasn't alot of people there, but that's ok. They were friendly and reassured me that I wasn't alone. We even went for coff...	Evian	4	650	Feb 5, 2011 by wp
	My uncomfortable journey to step 1... (Preview) I have felt like I was at step 1 for a long time. Really since I first started with Al Anon. As I recall, it was pretty easy for me--I am powerless over my wife's drinking. There's nothing I can do about it. And things were certainly unmanageable. Ok, that was easy. And I felt good about it. It was such a refre...	usedtobeanyer	12	562	Feb 4, 2011 by glad lee
	Another whole layer of denial (& an update) (Preview) Wow I feel like the deeper I dig and work on myself the pain starts to come up faster and worse when I get triggered. I feel like every layer I peel back I realize I'm still in denial about so many things. As an update, it's been 11 months since I asked my AH to leave our house. Our son was 8 months at the time and i...	Goodtillitsbad	4	901	Feb 4, 2011 by Mattie
	Character defect? (Preview) I am human. I know this. I know that we all make mistakes. I need to understand something though...maybe you can help or relate? I believe one of my character defects is something about not wanting to get in trouble. Always trying to save face. I don't know what this comes from, either the sexual a...	sunflowergirl	6	1521	Feb 4, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Breaking Annonimity on the national morning news. (Preview) On a morning talk show, a woman, covered her face, refused to give her name and made them change her voice and outted the husband and daughter of the woman who killed her two teen kids for being "mouthy". The reporter said that "in an alanon 12 step meeting, Parker Schenecker and his da...	freeagain	5	826	Feb 4, 2011 by Karilynn
	Why did I just even bother? (Preview) Honestly, what was the point of that to try and assertively point out that I feel that I am being constantly being criticised, put down and blamed....what did I get? criticised, put down and blamed....and the wall of denial then a spin back on to me and oh he's leaving my life all together tomorrow with o...	Hayes	10	1099	Feb 4, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	HP On Standby :) (Preview) I find if Funny at times the things that SLAP ya in the face... Old habits and "reactions" that ya "Think" you have conquered...lol... I know before I wouldn't have even gave silly stuff like this a 2nd thought,... But Yesterday, I was Standing in my Shop, With the Husband, Son, &...	Jozie	2	498	Feb 4, 2011 by kitty
	another question for you all... (Preview) So, I am trying to figure out how to get to a f2f meeting. Asking him to watch the kids so I can go seems too confrontational right now. I don't want to make this about him, it's about me. There is a meeting tomorrow, Friday, at 10 am in my town. I could go when the kids (3 of them) are at school. Here is my qu...	newleaf66	6	982	Feb 4, 2011 by abbyal
	It's been awhile... (Preview) Yes it has been quite awhile since I have posted on here, actually just been on here. I don't know exactly why other than I have been having an "easy" time lately and hadn't felt the need to come here. But I have also come to the conclusion that I NEED to come here anyway and read and share. I don't...	wildthang86	2	719	Feb 3, 2011 by Marshmallow
	Alcoholic brother (Preview) I think this is my first post to the board. I know I have been on here to read in the past but I don't believe I have ever posted. I am now back to learn as much as I can and to also share my experience to hopefully support someone else but also to get feedback and information from others on my situation. I am 4...	Tamiele	4	2068	Feb 3, 2011 by Tamiele
	awake after 20 years of marriage... (Preview) Hi, I am new here. I have been married for 20 years to a man I believed to be good, honest and in love with me and our children. Over the past few months I have come to realize that he is addicted to alcohol. He is not the same man anymore. I am trying to not question our past but on the bad days I think "...	newleaf66	13	1158	Feb 3, 2011 by newleaf66
	The Dam has broken... (Preview) and the secrets are spilling thru the crack. Thank you HP cause now we can talk about it as a family. He knows, they know, she knows, We know and now that we know we talk about it; and then what? HP always HP cause we are all powerless over the whole problem and only have enough power to surrender it to HP an...	Jerry F	7	939	Feb 3, 2011 by tiredtonite
	Nervous about going to a meeting. (Preview) My fiance does not know I plan on going to an al anon meeting tonight. I don't think he would take it very well. I'm not sure what to tell him where I am going. Any advice ?	Irish1	5	842	Feb 3, 2011 by Jerry F
	My Post #1000 (Preview) To All, This isn't an anniversary, or a milestone. But I'm going to take it as an opportunity to express with genuine love and emotion what all of you have meant to me and my program. I attend my two f2f meetings each week, have for four years running. But without the support, ES&H, guidance, and...	RLC	12	794	Feb 3, 2011 by wildthang86
	looking past the past--ODAT--into the future! (Preview) Life is funny sometimes! I am going to go to a place where I am unfamiliar sometimes: Recovery! I have been going at this program for a long time but finally feel a sense of recovery! I have depended on my counselor for so long I have been having trouble making my own decisions. I want to make some & othe...	Hoot Nanny	2	789	Feb 3, 2011 by kitty
	my sponsor has me second guessing myself (Preview) I have posted that have been struggling with 17.5 yr old son. For the sake of brevity I will skip many gory details, but bottom line, it came to where both his dad and I said "enough". Time to do it different. Told him he had to follow the rules or go somewhere else. The rules were to be kind,...	Loupiness	6	846	Feb 3, 2011 by Loupiness
	Belly Button:) (Preview) Well as one of the members in my home group calls it....today is my "belly button birthday":) And it was a wonderful day...many birthday wishes and calls singing "Happy Birthday", a cake from the folks at work, and a beautiful ring from the Holy Land. Really felt the love and i...	shellyj123	3	868	Feb 3, 2011 by DreamXL
	Motives and Amends (Preview) One of last night's meeting topics was "motives" and this got me to thinking about a recent conversation I had with my ex-husband. This is the same ex-husband that I divorced on August 25, 2009 and had an ex-parte (Order of Protection) on from Nov. 9, 2009 through Nov. 9, 2010. I had been wan...	Overcome	5	1109	Feb 3, 2011 by seeking1
	Really, Really Mom (Preview) Ok this is not a big deal but just another reminder....My mom calls me today and says.."you know I was thinking, since you never answer my calls, and neither does your son, you need to when I call becasue what if I was dying"... Really, really mom I say...first I answer your call when I am avail...	DreamXL	3	779	Feb 2, 2011 by Rora
	Update on Divorced & Deeply Depressed (Preview) Last evening, I had an appointment with my longtime counselor. Actually, I had not been in to see him for about 2 months, because I thought I had been doing so much better. Then came the fall. big ouch I spent the first part of the sessions whining about my ex-AH's present plight, how he is drinking and...	GailMichelle	7	1040	Feb 2, 2011 by SteppingUp
	New Here, Hello (Preview) Hello, Im 41 years old and live with my alcoholic fiance. We planned to marry this fall but now since moving in with him I realize that marriage is not a good idea. I don't think I can live with a man who is drunk EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's really wearing on me. This is the first time in my life having to deal with a...	Irish1	5	691	Feb 2, 2011 by kitty
	looking at alcohol through new eyes. (Preview) At a part time job I have (I have one full time and two part time jobs), I am around people who drink alcohol. Once they get a little under their belt the whole place changes, they stand around blocking all the paths to everything, bathroom, whatever it is they are planted down on the ground like some grea...	maresie	4	892	Feb 2, 2011 by kitty
	New here (Preview) Good evening, It's time to make a change, a positive change in my life. I've been married to a great guy for over 28 years. Undoubtedly you already know my story, he's an alcoholic and has been for the entire time I've known him. He was sober for 6 years but then slowly began drinking again. It's interesti...	Sandy_K	8	985	Feb 2, 2011 by Sandy_K
	Wondering Back.... (Preview) Sooo... Last Couple days here have been the Usual Winter Ugliness, last night however we got a Small Ice storm, nothing like what they were calling for thank Goodness.. I at times catch myself going back to Old post I write and Re-Reading them to see if I have accepted "Growth" on that topic o...	Jozie	2	508	Feb 1, 2011 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.