Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

When ABF was locked up, I immediately felt the need to "get rid" of signs of him around the condo. I boxed up his beautiful flat screen tv, surround sound, x box, etc... and it's been sitting in a spare room.. I purchased a new tv for myself and squeezed my furniture (that he doesn't like) int...

Sincerely · Sincerely

After the tragic death of my A hubby's son on April 18th, so many people told me... God has a plan. Well, eventually it started to tick me off hearing that. It did not give me any comfort at all. Then one day, talking to someone, i had a aha moment! YES!!!! God does have a plan, however the devil does too! Th...

lost2112 · lost2112

I am currently engaged to the love of my life, who also is an alcoholic. I love him so much but I doont know what to do. He was sober for 3 years and then got sick and spent a few weeks in the hospital and since he has gone back to drinking. He doesnt come home sometimes and is lying about where he is and what he is d...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

ABF has been locked up for 34 days now. Numerous times he's told me he signed up for AA. He said normally it takes a bit of time to get "approved" to go. Which I understand. He said that last week they didn't call him for it. So, stupid me, looked tonight... you can pull up the detention list a...

johne · johne

Dont know what to do my wife of 1 year and five years together. Most of this time I was out, after 12 years of not drinking but not working the program. I am a text book alcoholic co dependent trying to control everything. I now have 21 days and some peace and hope. She is very CD and has her other ways of a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Was getting groceries. Heard this gal yelling, I mean it was like if someone stole your car yelling. I mean cussing tearing the person down etc. I saw her,she definitely looked and acted A. She was yelling at her guy as far as I could tell. He was clean cut, looked and acted sweet,embarrassed. She said so...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, BTW I'm going to a meeting in a couple of hours, but am wondering if anyone has experienced this? My RA of 1.5 yrs. is 7 yrs sober, but he seems...sick? And in his own reality? He is still isolated from all of his friends and is feeding everything - time, money, all topics of conversat...

Kate1979 · Kate1979

I am struggling with trust with my AH, and I do not know what to do. I joined this board a few months ago and have found hope and inspiration here. I have also realized through reading literature that I too, have a sickness. It is a sickness that has come with being married to an alcoholic. One thing I tr...

soulsurfing · soulsurfing

So, where do I start? Never done this and never would have thought I needed too. Guess I'll just jump right to it and see what you guys think. I've been married 14 years to an AH. I knew he drank....a lot....but like most, figured marriage and family would change him. He grew up with a very abusive AF an...

Heartbroken Mom · Heartbroken Mom

My heart is so broken. My son is on opiates and he is killing himself. I have asked him to get help and I will go with him. He keeps telling me that he is recovering but I know he is still using. He won't take a drug test saying he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. I am a single mom and he is 23 still living at...

Golightly24 · Golightly24

I have been reading all of the threads here and am so grateful to have foudn you all. I'll be attending my first meeting on Tuesday (the first night I am able with my work schedule). UNtil then, I need advice and don't know where else to turn. My A boyfriend checked himself into rehab on Saturday. He came c...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I have received a lot of help through reading these posts, by everyone especially when I have been unable to attend F2F meetings. Although luckily for me I have went to 3 meetings this week, my bf has given up his job without consulting me, I told him that if he didnt go to work then he would have to leave, w...

Pushka · Pushka

I went to an open AA meeting it was amazing tonight. Normally there is an alanon meeting however they do a joint thing with AA. As I've never been to an AA meeting before this was a first and I am so very glad I went. The person who shared was really terrific. Had some wonderful insights as well as an over...

NovSun · NovSun

Does anyone ever feel like "why should I have to do anything, I am not the one with the 'problem' here"? I just kicked my fiance out. We are new to this town, he has no friends here, nowhere to go. We did attend our first AA meeting on Monday night (after he drank Monday afternoon and then felt...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I recently volunteered to care for a little abandon kitten. He's about 3 weeks old. Therefore, he needs to be bottle fed and have his little private parts messaged so he can elminate body waste. I was very reluctant to take this cat home. However, given the circumstances, he would have died if left t...

GreenK · GreenK

I'm charged up from what was to me, a great meeting! The topic was about "How does the program teach us how to share in meetings?" The readings were from One Day at a Time and an Alanon pamphlet about sponsorship. I'm just 7 months into the program but I've experienced awesome meeting...

clep · clep

I removed my iud today and went to see my naturopath as well. I am looking after my health first of all. She didn't feel the iud was good for me. She says that relationship and control stress are held in the pelvis and that is why I have been having so much pelvic problems. I believe her as she was right ab...

Jozie · Jozie

So these last couple days have been pretty wavey, but I have learned so much about myself it is quite amazing really... I have learned I am No Were near Perfect, and that I still Struggle with "Reacting", and recently I am attemping to polish that up a bit! I have learned that tho I Still can be L...

sookie · sookie

I have really been moved by so many of the stories here for months. I read MIP when I cannot get to face to face meetings. Usually at night when I am feeling down. I have been in Al-Anon since January when my husband checked himself into rehab. Al-Anon has saved my life. The first time I applied the ideas/sl...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi Not sure if I am 'allowed' to use this part of the site but thought I would give it a go. I am an adult child of an alcoholic. I am 40. My Dad went to AA when I was 8 and my mum to Al Anon and I used to go with her. My Dad lived on as a Dry Drunk. I can identify with alot of the things mentioned on the ACoA laundry li...

GreenK · GreenK

Hi All, I've been going to Alanon meetings regularly for seven months. I've never worked anything so hard in my life and it is changing my life. I'm just starting to go to some open AA meetings so I can begin to develop a deeper understanding of the disease. I am gradually accepting that it is truly...

Red Hawk · Red Hawk

This one really hit me today. Hope others gain some insight from it, as well! Red Hawk "The Al-Anon slogans are little pieces of advice. If we were entirely capable of putting them all into practice, we'd be pretty close to perfection as spiritual human benigs. "Take this one, for instanc...

ladym · ladym

I woke up this morning feeling so many emotions, angry,tired,anxiety,sad. Last night, everything was ok, so I thought. My A stayed up drinking while I went to bed at 10 and then around 2:30 this morning, I get woken up with my A yelling at me. All I could understand is that how unhappy she is and how she wan...

Golightly24 · Golightly24

I am brand new to this forum, but I joined tonight because I'm scared and I'm lonely I really don't know where to turn. My boyfriend checked into rehab on Saturday (the day before my birthday). He checked in after I discovered that he'd gone back to using painkillers to the tune of $5000.00. We've been...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I see a LOT of posts about kicking your A out... or making them leave when they cross the boundary you set....from what I have found out, it's not always that easy. I know from personal experience... since my ABF was living here I could kick him out, make him leave, tell him to never come back, whatever.....

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone! I'm taking a break right now, and listening to some Zen music, reflecting on the last week. I am grateful that my recovering AH and I have at least been able to talk and enjoy each other's company. I see him struggle with being laid off still. It's extremely difficult as well for me, as I'...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I finally went to a face to face meeting today. I was sick at my stomach over anxiousness this morning but did it anyway and it was such a good experience. I shared how I needed help dealing with anxiety and the need to control others and even said "it's not my husband - it's me". I was shocked...

NovSun · NovSun

Well I went and did it. Last week my AFiance was supposed to see a substance abuse counselor on Thursday. He said they called and cancelled the appt. I checked the phone records and realized he called them and cancelled it. He lied about it. I know it was completely wrong and against everythi...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

I am not new to AlAnon, just to here..... Can't get to meetings very often due to location. AH has been sober for quite awhile and doing very well. Now he has convinced himself that he could probably handle it a few times a year. At family get togethers, social situations, or whatever. Doesn't want t...

Gailey · Gailey

A son got his 3rd dui/dwi on Tuesday of last week. He is still on probation for the 2nd one. I am sure he will serve some jail time now. I did very well at first. He totaled his car and was taken to the er in a ambulance. He refused the sobriety test because a lawyer told him before to never take one. He was not fo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, my partner is drinking again after 9 months in rehab and a dry house. He has ran from me to his mums as i will not enable him anymore. He is being very cold its like when they become active again their emotional side dies. He is back to being selfish and uncaring when sober and attending aa he could...

lovee · lovee

I left the father of my child a year and a half ago. He wanted me back badly and I refused. I love him, but our dynamic was toxic. He now has a girlfriend. I see them around town all the time. All the sudden my grief for the loss of my family is so strong I can't breathe. I can't eat and can't stop crying. I'm sa...

RLC · RLC

Happy Birthday MDK....#29 Melissa is in my Home Group. She has the program tonight. She has chosen the 3 C's as the topic. Birthday Hugs To Melissa, RLC

youfoundme · youfoundme

I just got off the phone with two people: my qualifier (A-fiance) and then my sponsor. My A, is in the middle of trying to get off of everything the suboxone and the alcohol. He got his NA book out and was looking at it. He is reading a website for people in recovery. I don't understand how these doctor...

Lolly · Lolly

Hello..Im new to this site,but not to the Al a non meetings ...my friend who is dating a A needed my support and so I went along Boy was I in for a reality check of my own! I thought I had done all the healing that there was ..as I come from a very controlling parent and drinking grandparent...which led me into...

Jozie · Jozie

When life goes faster then I can... In 2 days my Baby boy will be 14... Its hard to beleive that he is that old all aready, but I have been very accepting most of the time of him growing into a young man.. Not easy for me... He is my One & Only and at times I truly can't believe how fast time has gone by... this...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hi Family: Just feel like venting a bit today. Still not working and I depend on my AH for medical benefits and finances to pay our bills. My AH is back on his drinking and driving cycle. He had stop for a while, but now is happening daily. I can not afford to be without his income nor his medical benefits. It...

kay115 · kay115

Last night, my AH called at 3am and said he could was going to sleep over at a friend's house. He had been out drinking, then continued drinking there and no one was in the shape for driving. I offered to go and get him (I am working on not being so enabling), but he declined. This morning, I get a text at 7:30...

KLotus · KLotus

As I've said in previous posts, my husband is on a mission to have me declared "sick." Our marriage counselor, it seemed, was confounded by his arguments and anger. He stated that I chose this situation, and reminded me that I drank with him when we began dating, and that I "had more b...

Sandy_K · Sandy_K

This is a place I knew I needed to revisit. I came here several months ago, shortly after we lost our youngest son to suicide. At that time my husband had once again begun the random pattern of sporadic drinking. At that point, my husband returned to counseling and I found a counselor of my own, but we did n...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Why do alcoholics flirt, and even cheat? My husband, to my knowledge, has never cheated on me, and I do not fear that he will. If he does, he does, and I would likely leave, but that would be his choice. However, when times have been the most difficult between us, I feel he is extra flirtati...

KLotus · KLotus

Today I was feeling very down while at work. Feeling overwhelmed, and anxious. So, I called my AH, as we've had better interactions recently. I didn't really tell him that I was feeling badly (about myself), and just sort of checked in. When I realized that talking with him meant that I was going to...

clep · clep

The new job for my A is going very well. He is happy now and they are keeping him on. He won't tell his old boss that he has quit!!!!! At first it was because he wanted to make sure he landed the new job, then it was because he wanted to make sure they were going to keep him, and now it is because he is having a ha...

mctgo · mctgo

I guess that got his attention, but moreover, it got mine. Hated the person I have become when I was shouting at him yesterday morning - anything I say creates shame, guilt, etc. so why bother? This is my 3rd relationship. I feel sick. I have been so stupid. I "fix" things all of the time,...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, all. I just wanted to share that my AH just had his one year sober "birthday" this weekend. Our 15 year old son and I went with him to the AA birthday meeting, and it was truly inspiring. All three of us cried. There were people there with from 1 year to 35 years of sobriety, and each got t...

ladym · ladym

Hi, I am new here, I found this website a couple of days ago and been doing a lot of reading. I didnt realize there are so many people out there that are living my life! I will start by giving a description about my life. I have been with my AGF for 12 years and I knew she drank; I drank too but very little. I guess...

ErinMVo · ErinMVo

So this is my first time on here and just feel so overwhelmed! I am recently single after 3 years of dating an alcoholic which then led to drugs. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but now that he is gone I do not feel any better about the situation. All I did was bad mouth him the whole relationship...

Pushka · Pushka

Today was the big "C" day as in court day. We found out Friday that A was suppose to be in court, lawyer did not tell him he was suppose to be there, so today we went. I'm shocked at the bottom line for the lawyers involved and I don't know if it's all of them or just some of them, they are looking for...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will make this brief: I really wish I had more time to get on this lovely forum! It is very frustrating when I can't read stories & comments very often. I really enjoy being on here. It can be the highlight of my day! I thank my friend Jen who helped me get on here. It has been a blessing. It is 12:30 &...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

The past two weeks have been Rough no lie, rough to the point that at one time I asked HP to just take me, anything to stop the pain. I believe when a person reaches a certain level of pain with no relief in site that they loose their will to fight in many instances and I did. I had to turn sooo much over to my HP...

sameoldstuff · sameoldstuff

hi everyone! everytime i think i know where i need to be i take one step forward and one step back. i have been seeing a therapist for about 8 months nearly on a weekly basis and at the beginning she kept stearing me towards alanon mtgs and finally after about 6 months i found this site and went to a couple of f...

Debilyn · Debilyn

First I have faith. Not afraid. Mainly hate all the driving and my body hurting so bad wehen I get home. then am basically doing nothing for three days to heal up.I am talking driving to the tests etc. The horrible heat stroke symptoms are very bad.If you look that up it will tell you. It is life threatenin...

Lyne · Lyne

How did I get addicted to the addict? Why didn't I notice that happening? I told a friend of mine to try alanon, that it was really helping me. She said she's afraid to get healthy because she'll leave her husband. I choose to stay with my A spouse. Why would a healthy person stay? Doesn't a healthy...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Last Monday night my dh and I had a talk. He told me that his depression has him at a new low and that he has nothing to give me emotionally. He said he's in survival mode and is barely getting by just trying to do his job and get up in the morning. He's been pulling away and got mad at me when I told him I wanted...

KLotus · KLotus

My AH and I actually had a good weekend. Things, as many of you know, have been difficult, and particularly building over the last few weeks. We finally had it out (a little), and since then we've seemed to "re-set" a bit. I am always leery of this time, what I now view as a "honeymoon p...

michellelong · michellelong

Well last night was supposed to be my first f2f meeting, I was so excited for days!! I found myself for the past few days trying once again to control the outcome of the days, I would ask my AH to do specific things with me as to not let him out of my sight! He runs his own business to where he can quit for the day w...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

My AH is not drinking, (or at least not muchor around me) but we have been through so much water under the bridge and fighting that it is hard right now to even talk to each other. I am trying hard to not want to control him but I don't feel like being sweet or giving just yet. I am hurt and when I do talk to him h...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

First, thank you to everyone on this board. Until now I have felt so alone and depressed, your support is literally a lifesaver. I need some guidance: I am finally ready to attend my first f2f meeting. Do you tell your A that you are going to Alanon? I know my husband will deny he is using so the question wi...

tommyecat · tommyecat

So tomorrow I am leaving for a six day AA/Alanon conference out west. I will be going alone and am feeling thrilled, excited, all kinds of mixed emotions. It is the first time I will away all by myself on a trip in years. I have my own room and am really looking forward to quiet evenings, workshops, and h...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

HI everyone, Things are have changed alot since my very first post. I was sick and tired of everything then. I was so lost and helpless not to mention confused. I loved my AH but hated him wanted him home but wanted him out etc. I cried and cried. One night I was so engulfed w/ grief and pain I just prayed to my...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Little things for me... (Preview) When ABF was locked up, I immediately felt the need to "get rid" of signs of him around the condo. I boxed up his beautiful flat screen tv, surround sound, x box, etc... and it's been sitting in a spare room.. I purchased a new tv for myself and squeezed my furniture (that he doesn't like) int...	ELEKTRAWMN	8	569	Aug 6, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	God's Plan or the devils work? (Preview) After the tragic death of my A hubby's son on April 18th, so many people told me... God has a plan. Well, eventually it started to tick me off hearing that. It did not give me any comfort at all. Then one day, talking to someone, i had a aha moment! YES!!!! God does have a plan, however the devil does too! Th...	Sincerely	4	666	Aug 6, 2011 by sookie
	New to this.. please help!! (Preview) I am currently engaged to the love of my life, who also is an alcoholic. I love him so much but I doont know what to do. He was sober for 3 years and then got sick and spent a few weeks in the hospital and since he has gone back to drinking. He doesnt come home sometimes and is lying about where he is and what he is d...	lost2112	12	649	Aug 6, 2011 by Pushka
	Why do I do this to myself??? (Preview) ABF has been locked up for 34 days now. Numerous times he's told me he signed up for AA. He said normally it takes a bit of time to get "approved" to go. Which I understand. He said that last week they didn't call him for it. So, stupid me, looked tonight... you can pull up the detention list a...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	621	Aug 6, 2011 by youfoundme
	Dont know what to do (Preview) Dont know what to do my wife of 1 year and five years together. Most of this time I was out, after 12 years of not drinking but not working the program. I am a text book alcoholic co dependent trying to control everything. I now have 21 days and some peace and hope. She is very CD and has her other ways of a...	johne	5	623	Aug 6, 2011 by johne
	Bad incident in store (Preview) Was getting groceries. Heard this gal yelling, I mean it was like if someone stole your car yelling. I mean cussing tearing the person down etc. I saw her,she definitely looked and acted A. She was yelling at her guy as far as I could tell. He was clean cut, looked and acted sweet,embarrassed. She said so...	Debilyn	4	714	Aug 5, 2011 by Sincerely
	sober but...sick? (Preview) Hey everybody, BTW I'm going to a meeting in a couple of hours, but am wondering if anyone has experienced this? My RA of 1.5 yrs. is 7 yrs sober, but he seems...sick? And in his own reality? He is still isolated from all of his friends and is feeding everything - time, money, all topics of conversat...	rara avis	4	736	Aug 5, 2011 by lasthope
	Trust issues...help! (Preview) I am struggling with trust with my AH, and I do not know what to do. I joined this board a few months ago and have found hope and inspiration here. I have also realized through reading literature that I too, have a sickness. It is a sickness that has come with being married to an alcoholic. One thing I tr...	Kate1979	8	961	Aug 5, 2011 by Debilyn
	Help! Confused (Preview) So, where do I start? Never done this and never would have thought I needed too. Guess I'll just jump right to it and see what you guys think. I've been married 14 years to an AH. I knew he drank....a lot....but like most, figured marriage and family would change him. He grew up with a very abusive AF an...	soulsurfing	8	644	Aug 5, 2011 by abbyal
	I don't know how to help my son (Preview) My heart is so broken. My son is on opiates and he is killing himself. I have asked him to get help and I will go with him. He keeps telling me that he is recovering but I know he is still using. He won't take a drug test saying he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. I am a single mom and he is 23 still living at...	Heartbroken Mom	6	538	Aug 5, 2011 by abbyal
	When there's a child (who isn't yours) involved (Preview) I have been reading all of the threads here and am so grateful to have foudn you all. I'll be attending my first meeting on Tuesday (the first night I am able with my work schedule). UNtil then, I need advice and don't know where else to turn. My A boyfriend checked himself into rehab on Saturday. He came c...	Golightly24	5	513	Aug 5, 2011 by Cloudsea
	this too shall pass........? long post sorry (needed to spill it all out) (Preview) I have received a lot of help through reading these posts, by everyone especially when I have been unable to attend F2F meetings. Although luckily for me I have went to 3 meetings this week, my bf has given up his job without consulting me, I told him that if he didnt go to work then he would have to leave, w...	Jules1011	8	571	Aug 5, 2011 by Pushka
	Open AA meeting (Preview) I went to an open AA meeting it was amazing tonight. Normally there is an alanon meeting however they do a joint thing with AA. As I've never been to an AA meeting before this was a first and I am so very glad I went. The person who shared was really terrific. Had some wonderful insights as well as an over...	Pushka	5	471	Aug 5, 2011 by Pushka
	Is this all worth it? (Preview) Does anyone ever feel like "why should I have to do anything, I am not the one with the 'problem' here"? I just kicked my fiance out. We are new to this town, he has no friends here, nowhere to go. We did attend our first AA meeting on Monday night (after he drank Monday afternoon and then felt...	NovSun	17	787	Aug 5, 2011 by KLotus
	Practicing Being in the Moment (Preview) I recently volunteered to care for a little abandon kitten. He's about 3 weeks old. Therefore, he needs to be bottle fed and have his little private parts messaged so he can elminate body waste. I was very reluctant to take this cat home. However, given the circumstances, he would have died if left t...	GailMichelle	9	1199	Aug 5, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Wow, what a meeting tonight! (Preview) I'm charged up from what was to me, a great meeting! The topic was about "How does the program teach us how to share in meetings?" The readings were from One Day at a Time and an Alanon pamphlet about sponsorship. I'm just 7 months into the program but I've experienced awesome meeting...	GreenK	5	578	Aug 5, 2011 by GreenK
	Boundaries can be so hard (Preview) I removed my iud today and went to see my naturopath as well. I am looking after my health first of all. She didn't feel the iud was good for me. She says that relationship and control stress are held in the pelvis and that is why I have been having so much pelvic problems. I believe her as she was right ab...	clep	5	721	Aug 4, 2011 by clep
	Still Growin... (Preview) So these last couple days have been pretty wavey, but I have learned so much about myself it is quite amazing really... I have learned I am No Were near Perfect, and that I still Struggle with "Reacting", and recently I am attemping to polish that up a bit! I have learned that tho I Still can be L...	Jozie	3	573	Aug 4, 2011 by Jozie
	New to posting, lurking for months (Preview) I have really been moved by so many of the stories here for months. I read MIP when I cannot get to face to face meetings. Usually at night when I am feeling down. I have been in Al-Anon since January when my husband checked himself into rehab. Al-Anon has saved my life. The first time I applied the ideas/sl...	sookie	7	514	Aug 4, 2011 by youfoundme
	looks more active than ACoA (Preview) Hi Not sure if I am 'allowed' to use this part of the site but thought I would give it a go. I am an adult child of an alcoholic. I am 40. My Dad went to AA when I was 8 and my mum to Al Anon and I used to go with her. My Dad lived on as a Dry Drunk. I can identify with alot of the things mentioned on the ACoA laundry li...	Lindaoakford	5	632	Aug 4, 2011 by youfoundme
	Alcoholic husband who is verbally mean (Preview) Hi All, I've been going to Alanon meetings regularly for seven months. I've never worked anything so hard in my life and it is changing my life. I'm just starting to go to some open AA meetings so I can begin to develop a deeper understanding of the disease. I am gradually accepting that it is truly...	GreenK	11	12871	Aug 4, 2011 by Debilyn
	Today's Reading (WOW!) (Preview) This one really hit me today. Hope others gain some insight from it, as well! Red Hawk "The Al-Anon slogans are little pieces of advice. If we were entirely capable of putting them all into practice, we'd be pretty close to perfection as spiritual human benigs. "Take this one, for instanc...	Red Hawk	6	679	Aug 4, 2011 by sookie
	I Feel so tired and overwhelmed this morning (Preview) I woke up this morning feeling so many emotions, angry,tired,anxiety,sad. Last night, everything was ok, so I thought. My A stayed up drinking while I went to bed at 10 and then around 2:30 this morning, I get woken up with my A yelling at me. All I could understand is that how unhappy she is and how she wan...	ladym	9	974	Aug 4, 2011 by Pushka
	Newbie Reaching Out (Preview) I am brand new to this forum, but I joined tonight because I'm scared and I'm lonely I really don't know where to turn. My boyfriend checked into rehab on Saturday (the day before my birthday). He checked in after I discovered that he'd gone back to using painkillers to the tune of $5000.00. We've been...	Golightly24	6	607	Aug 4, 2011 by Golightly24
	Kicking out the A (Preview) I see a LOT of posts about kicking your A out... or making them leave when they cross the boundary you set....from what I have found out, it's not always that easy. I know from personal experience... since my ABF was living here I could kick him out, make him leave, tell him to never come back, whatever.....	ELEKTRAWMN	12	697	Aug 4, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Zen (Preview) Hi Everyone! I'm taking a break right now, and listening to some Zen music, reflecting on the last week. I am grateful that my recovering AH and I have at least been able to talk and enjoy each other's company. I see him struggle with being laid off still. It's extremely difficult as well for me, as I'...	KLotus	6	735	Aug 4, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Finally went to a F2F Meeting (Preview) I finally went to a face to face meeting today. I was sick at my stomach over anxiousness this morning but did it anyway and it was such a good experience. I shared how I needed help dealing with anxiety and the need to control others and even said "it's not my husband - it's me". I was shocked...	oldgraduate	9	716	Aug 4, 2011 by oldgraduate
	It's a long story - sorry! (Preview) Well I went and did it. Last week my AFiance was supposed to see a substance abuse counselor on Thursday. He said they called and cancelled the appt. I checked the phone records and realized he called them and cancelled it. He lied about it. I know it was completely wrong and against everythi...	NovSun	11	699	Aug 4, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Going to drink again (Preview) I am not new to AlAnon, just to here..... Can't get to meetings very often due to location. AH has been sober for quite awhile and doing very well. Now he has convinced himself that he could probably handle it a few times a year. At family get togethers, social situations, or whatever. Doesn't want t...	Hot Chicka	12	695	Aug 4, 2011 by flopadopilus
	detached....detached....detached..............attached! (Preview) A son got his 3rd dui/dwi on Tuesday of last week. He is still on probation for the 2nd one. I am sure he will serve some jail time now. I did very well at first. He totaled his car and was taken to the er in a ambulance. He refused the sobriety test because a lawyer told him before to never take one. He was not fo...	Gailey	8	570	Aug 4, 2011 by Ness
	Fear (Preview) Hi all, my partner is drinking again after 9 months in rehab and a dry house. He has ran from me to his mums as i will not enable him anymore. He is being very cold its like when they become active again their emotional side dies. He is back to being selfish and uncaring when sober and attending aa he could...	Tracy	7	692	Aug 3, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	When you leave someone and they move on (Preview) I left the father of my child a year and a half ago. He wanted me back badly and I refused. I love him, but our dynamic was toxic. He now has a girlfriend. I see them around town all the time. All the sudden my grief for the loss of my family is so strong I can't breathe. I can't eat and can't stop crying. I'm sa...	lovee	10	716	Aug 3, 2011 by lovee
	MDK (Melissa) Has A Birthday Today !!!!! (Preview) Happy Birthday MDK....#29 Melissa is in my Home Group. She has the program tonight. She has chosen the 3 C's as the topic. Birthday Hugs To Melissa, RLC	RLC	11	710	Aug 3, 2011 by Jozie
	Encouragement needed (Preview) I just got off the phone with two people: my qualifier (A-fiance) and then my sponsor. My A, is in the middle of trying to get off of everything the suboxone and the alcohol. He got his NA book out and was looking at it. He is reading a website for people in recovery. I don't understand how these doctor...	youfoundme	8	535	Aug 3, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Confused! (Preview) Hello..Im new to this site,but not to the Al a non meetings ...my friend who is dating a A needed my support and so I went along Boy was I in for a reality check of my own! I thought I had done all the healing that there was ..as I come from a very controlling parent and drinking grandparent...which led me into...	Lolly	7	770	Aug 3, 2011 by flopadopilus
	And it Still Goes On :) (Preview) When life goes faster then I can... In 2 days my Baby boy will be 14... Its hard to beleive that he is that old all aready, but I have been very accepting most of the time of him growing into a young man.. Not easy for me... He is my One & Only and at times I truly can't believe how fast time has gone by... this...	Jozie	7	734	Aug 3, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Feeling Vulnerable (Preview) Hi Family: Just feel like venting a bit today. Still not working and I depend on my AH for medical benefits and finances to pay our bills. My AH is back on his drinking and driving cycle. He had stop for a while, but now is happening daily. I can not afford to be without his income nor his medical benefits. It...	hawaiilover	6	489	Aug 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Not sure what to do next (Preview) Last night, my AH called at 3am and said he could was going to sleep over at a friend's house. He had been out drinking, then continued drinking there and no one was in the shape for driving. I offered to go and get him (I am working on not being so enabling), but he declined. This morning, I get a text at 7:30...	kay115	9	744	Aug 2, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Enabling? (Preview) As I've said in previous posts, my husband is on a mission to have me declared "sick." Our marriage counselor, it seemed, was confounded by his arguments and anger. He stated that I chose this situation, and reminded me that I drank with him when we began dating, and that I "had more b...	KLotus	6	783	Aug 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New, but not brand spankin' shiny new (Preview) This is a place I knew I needed to revisit. I came here several months ago, shortly after we lost our youngest son to suicide. At that time my husband had once again begun the random pattern of sporadic drinking. At that point, my husband returned to counseling and I found a counselor of my own, but we did n...	Sandy_K	5	614	Aug 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Flirt (Preview) Hi Everyone, Why do alcoholics flirt, and even cheat? My husband, to my knowledge, has never cheated on me, and I do not fear that he will. If he does, he does, and I would likely leave, but that would be his choice. However, when times have been the most difficult between us, I feel he is extra flirtati...	KLotus	6	666	Aug 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Trying (Preview) Today I was feeling very down while at work. Feeling overwhelmed, and anxious. So, I called my AH, as we've had better interactions recently. I didn't really tell him that I was feeling badly (about myself), and just sort of checked in. When I realized that talking with him meant that I was going to...	KLotus	2	535	Aug 2, 2011 by maresie
	Even the good situations are turned to crap. (rant) (Preview) The new job for my A is going very well. He is happy now and they are keeping him on. He won't tell his old boss that he has quit!!!!! At first it was because he wanted to make sure he landed the new job, then it was because he wanted to make sure they were going to keep him, and now it is because he is having a ha...	clep	8	523	Aug 2, 2011 by clep
	I told my significant other he's a trainwreck and an alcoholic. (Preview) I guess that got his attention, but moreover, it got mine. Hated the person I have become when I was shouting at him yesterday morning - anything I say creates shame, guilt, etc. so why bother? This is my 3rd relationship. I feel sick. I have been so stupid. I "fix" things all of the time,...	mctgo	7	813	Aug 2, 2011 by Lyne
	Grateful (Preview) Hi, all. I just wanted to share that my AH just had his one year sober "birthday" this weekend. Our 15 year old son and I went with him to the AA birthday meeting, and it was truly inspiring. All three of us cried. There were people there with from 1 year to 35 years of sobriety, and each got t...	Cloudsea	8	523	Aug 2, 2011 by Cloudsea
	Feel Like I'm going crazy! (Preview) Hi, I am new here, I found this website a couple of days ago and been doing a lot of reading. I didnt realize there are so many people out there that are living my life! I will start by giving a description about my life. I have been with my AGF for 12 years and I knew she drank; I drank too but very little. I guess...	ladym	7	684	Aug 2, 2011 by hotrod
	New at this! (Preview) So this is my first time on here and just feel so overwhelmed! I am recently single after 3 years of dating an alcoholic which then led to drugs. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but now that he is gone I do not feel any better about the situation. All I did was bad mouth him the whole relationship...	ErinMVo	4	467	Aug 2, 2011 by ErinMichelle
	Anger .. and ANGRY .. (vent) (Preview) Today was the big "C" day as in court day. We found out Friday that A was suppose to be in court, lawyer did not tell him he was suppose to be there, so today we went. I'm shocked at the bottom line for the lawyers involved and I don't know if it's all of them or just some of them, they are looking for...	Pushka	6	869	Aug 2, 2011 by Pushka
	I really wish I had more time... (Preview) I will make this brief: I really wish I had more time to get on this lovely forum! It is very frustrating when I can't read stories & comments very often. I really enjoy being on here. It can be the highlight of my day! I thank my friend Jen who helped me get on here. It has been a blessing. It is 12:30 &...	Hoot Nanny	4	486	Aug 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	Peace and Clarity....Who knew it could feel sooooo good. (Preview) The past two weeks have been Rough no lie, rough to the point that at one time I asked HP to just take me, anything to stop the pain. I believe when a person reaches a certain level of pain with no relief in site that they loose their will to fight in many instances and I did. I had to turn sooo much over to my HP...	shellyj123	3	519	Aug 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	confused with therapy vs al-anon (Preview) hi everyone! everytime i think i know where i need to be i take one step forward and one step back. i have been seeing a therapist for about 8 months nearly on a weekly basis and at the beginning she kept stearing me towards alanon mtgs and finally after about 6 months i found this site and went to a couple of f...	sameoldstuff	9	1632	Aug 1, 2011 by GailMichelle
	health issues ugh letting it out (Preview) First I have faith. Not afraid. Mainly hate all the driving and my body hurting so bad wehen I get home. then am basically doing nothing for three days to heal up.I am talking driving to the tests etc. The horrible heat stroke symptoms are very bad.If you look that up it will tell you. It is life threatenin...	Debilyn	11	551	Aug 1, 2011 by xeno59
	addicted to the addict (Preview) How did I get addicted to the addict? Why didn't I notice that happening? I told a friend of mine to try alanon, that it was really helping me. She said she's afraid to get healthy because she'll leave her husband. I choose to stay with my A spouse. Why would a healthy person stay? Doesn't a healthy...	Lyne	8	840	Aug 1, 2011 by Ruby
	Still very hurt by something my spouse said last week (Preview) Last Monday night my dh and I had a talk. He told me that his depression has him at a new low and that he has nothing to give me emotionally. He said he's in survival mode and is barely getting by just trying to do his job and get up in the morning. He's been pulling away and got mad at me when I told him I wanted...	ilovedogs	3	710	Aug 1, 2011 by hotrod
	Weekend (Preview) My AH and I actually had a good weekend. Things, as many of you know, have been difficult, and particularly building over the last few weeks. We finally had it out (a little), and since then we've seemed to "re-set" a bit. I am always leery of this time, what I now view as a "honeymoon p...	KLotus	5	621	Aug 1, 2011 by youfoundme
	Disappointed in me! (Preview) Well last night was supposed to be my first f2f meeting, I was so excited for days!! I found myself for the past few days trying once again to control the outcome of the days, I would ask my AH to do specific things with me as to not let him out of my sight! He runs his own business to where he can quit for the day w...	michellelong	10	689	Aug 1, 2011 by Mylife
	How do you deal with the awkwardness and rejection. (Preview) My AH is not drinking, (or at least not muchor around me) but we have been through so much water under the bridge and fighting that it is hard right now to even talk to each other. I am trying hard to not want to control him but I don't feel like being sweet or giving just yet. I am hurt and when I do talk to him h...	oldgraduate	7	504	Aug 1, 2011 by hawaiilover
	First Meeting : To Tell or Not To Tell? (Preview) First, thank you to everyone on this board. Until now I have felt so alone and depressed, your support is literally a lifesaver. I need some guidance: I am finally ready to attend my first f2f meeting. Do you tell your A that you are going to Alanon? I know my husband will deny he is using so the question wi...	surfgirl123	9	3564	Aug 1, 2011 by Jozie
	Off to the mountains (Preview) So tomorrow I am leaving for a six day AA/Alanon conference out west. I will be going alone and am feeling thrilled, excited, all kinds of mixed emotions. It is the first time I will away all by myself on a trip in years. I have my own room and am really looking forward to quiet evenings, workshops, and h...	tommyecat	6	452	Jul 31, 2011 by White Rabbit
	So different.. (Preview) HI everyone, Things are have changed alot since my very first post. I was sick and tired of everything then. I was so lost and helpless not to mention confused. I loved my AH but hated him wanted him home but wanted him out etc. I cried and cried. One night I was so engulfed w/ grief and pain I just prayed to my...	Betterfuture	6	630	Jul 31, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.