Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

youfoundme · youfoundme

I was triggered this weekend right back into my own disease. Yes I do believe and know that I have a disease of the mind, body and soul...spirit... I am triggered by many things but somehow because I have a sponsor, she can just speak to me and I am back in program. If I don't use the tool of calling her, ma...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Hi there, everyone. I'm Brian, and I'm new to this. I recently came to the realization (2 Weeks Ago) that despite all pretenses, and regardless of how my professional life is spot-on, my life was out of control. The Facts: I am codependent. My wife is an alcoholic and may be codependent also. I have b...

plsellars · plsellars

My wife whom I never knew how much I truly loved and would miss has still not returned from her rehabilitation program in Florida. She has been gone for 60 days and I still have no information on her return of if she plans to try and save our marriage. It has been over a week and half since I have spoke with my 1...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi Its day 6 of my not checking up on him. I am feeling two things quite strongly which Iwould like education on from you guys. 1. Grief. I feel like crying alot. I feel I have lost something. Maybe it is the giving away of my control, maybe it is the realisation that I am married to an addict.... again....

Pushka · Pushka

Well, .. it's official today is the big ol' SCRAM day .. ohhh boy .. this is so going to be interesting. I haven't been around much this weekend, it has just worked out that way in the evening. The past two meetings I haven't gotten home until after 10pm. There are a lot of other things happening that I...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. I better start out by saying I learned my lesson well as we are having a situation unfold that is partially of my making and really none of my business. I pointed something out and all of a sudden there have been some what?! Now I'm going oh crud this is not what I had in mind. I got what I forced and now...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Program is. Friday a usual day off for my wife because her hours were cut back a year ago because of the financial meltdown; however she told me she had an afternoon "business meeting" with the hotel she does the books for and that causes me to "flip" the program switch on and to g...

Samsgram · Samsgram

As many know I posted for prayers recently regarding my brother`s situation being very sick from his disease. He still remains in ICU. My mother however is getting sicker and sicker in her disease. She was only at her best when she was in denial believing that he was not drinking. Now that he is hopitali...

sugar-bomb · sugar-bomb

Hey everyone, how are you all? I've posted this on the AA boards too but was recommended to post here too, I hope you can help me. I'm not an alcoholic myself but my partner is. I knew he was before I began to date him, so it does not affect my opinion on him, but having been with him for a while I've noticed thi...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Day 5 I feel like vomiting a little bit right now. I knew I would have the opportunity to try out my new 'healthy detachment' and I guess its natural that i would feel this anxiety. today is Sunday. A few days back I asked for help on how to handle today. It was about going fishing. Yesterday i said to him,...

msmousey · msmousey

I am really trying not to try to fix him, but am at a confused point right now,

odalis · odalis

Just some background info, I had posted on here a couple days ago about how to tell my AH I am going to Alanon. So last night we had this really long conversation, it started by him asking me about my student loans and why I hid them from him (when I still had not realized he was an alcoholic, he squashed al...

GreenK · GreenK

I had two dinner/neighborhood things to go to this evening. The first one I was dreading all day because I've been so focused on my alanon program and I often feel socially akward, and really seeing my chronic low self esteem etc. At times I'm convinced that I'm just a weirdo and too intense f...

shimo · shimo

I am unable honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting for tomorrow morning, August 15, as I will be out of town. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair the meeting in my absence.

Debilyn · Debilyn

Many of you know my past. Death of first husband, second is seriously insane. All my family has passed cept my two kids. Most my friends have passed.Lost everything due to ex Ah's disease. I mean material things. I am very close to the creator. Anyway Jerry helped me thru some grieving times. Now it hit...

KLotus · KLotus

Good afternoon everyone, For close to two weeks now my husband and I have been spending more time together, communicating better, and staying out of each other's programs. In the last couple of days, however, I have observed that he seems much more intense, less patient, frustrated, even very angr...

dragonflys · dragonflys

Hello everyone. I was hoping to get some ideas on how to find the time to go to meetings and work on my recovery. I work from 6:30am to 6pm Monday thru Friday (commute time included in that) I get home and my A goes to night school. I have enough time to feed and bathe my kids, spend a little time with them and i...

Passover · Passover

My husband finally went to Turning point in June 2010. He went to an assessment meeting and was told he was not a priority. By December 2010 we still had not heard from them so he rang them (probably because I "nagged" him!!). On our home phone there was a message from turning point which said &...

Too hard · Too hard

Wonderful at last to find a online group. I wonder if there are any 'oldies' on this site. Briefly, my husband drank very heavily for the first 18/20 years of our married life....we lived in the rural area and not close to family or any support. Then suddenly I was in contact with Al-Anon. I left him...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

In response to my last post, I thought about it & came to the conclusion;after talking to an Alanon friend, that my statements were a little harsh. She lives on the same property that her mom does, and it seems to work for her. Anyhow, I have not changed my mind about having my mom stay w/ me at any time,...

John · John

I wish there was a "off" switch. Where did it go? I use to have one. But lately I can't find it. I want to turn off the feelings, the thinking and the hurt... I want and need some relief. I keep praying and begging God to do what He does and to do it soon... but its not happening, instead I am still stuck with m...

sookie · sookie

Just wanted to say that I went to a much needed meeting last night--my first since my husband left 7 days ago (yup, I am counting). The topic that someone else brought up was 'fear' when living with an active A. I was so happy it was the topic because I had been dealing with it all week! Well, really for the la...

Jill · Jill

I want not to judge others. I can trace most of my feeling bad to my initial thought "why do they want to that?". Knowing why wouldn't help me. I can see my serenity vaporize. I'm asking for the experience of those of you who can bypass that judging step. How do you do it?

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I have frequented other message boards from time to time, but I'm put off by the language used and the negativity. It's very comforting to know that I can come here to read, learn and share my ES&H without having to overlook any of the language that most people wouldn't use when speaking in public. M...

zenflower · zenflower

Hello, all. I'm new here, and have a problem. 10 years ago I married a man who has been sober for 20 years now. I obviously love him, but I recently found out he had a brief affair recently. He has ended it, and says he wants to work to make us work. He likens it to a relapse, going so far as to say he even went to me...

ladym · ladym

Hi, I have been doing allot of reading and I can't help but feel over whelmed and anxious. The past 2 weeks have been pretty quite at home after confronting my AGF when she was sober. I tried to explain how I was feeling about our relationship, and that I wanted to start going to Al Anon meeting, I thought fo...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My 15 year old and I have been pretty adversarial lately, which isn't all that unusual between a teen and his parent. It's just that he is sickly sweet to my EAW (Estranged Alcoholic Wife), he calls her 3-4 times a day, fawns all over her whenever she's around. He treats me like a leper while she can't do...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Confusing with this time gap. Its 8am Saturday morning here. Day 3 was Friday. I didn't feel so elated about it. Day 3 was a bit harder than 2. All day I was wondering if he would smoke, if he did, would he tell me, he didn't lie to me yesterday but he didn't tell me either, I asked... what now what now??? A...

Pushka · Pushka

This week it seems like lots of us are having issues with seeing how far we've really come, and I just wanted to share my AHA moment .. lol. Kats post got me thinking about my house and the fact I've been acting out in a different way. I need to see some outside changes, no blonde hair for me this time around...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Again I have a MOM issue; last night w/o saying anything to me @ a meeting my mom said that when she sells her house, that she is moving in w/ my husband! whatever! I know she meant both of us & that is out of the question! I wasn't at the meeting but I am floored & very frustrated by her saying anything...

tropics4 · tropics4

I need to break up with my recovering alcoholic boyfriend but I'm scared to. I keep hoping a "light bulb" will come on in his brain that says,"Oh I get it now. I'm being a total jerk with no compassion, empathy, or remorse when I yell at her, belittle her, curse at her, hang up on her and bla...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, I just had an extremely interesting conversation with my A. I mean it was pretty deep considering where we have been at and how little he likes to share on that level with anyone. Plus he even called me from work and I'm really in awe over that. When he calls it's never to talk deep it's always to see...

plsellars · plsellars

Today is my Daughters10th Birthday and I can not call her or see her. It seems my Wife Therapist believes it best for me to have contact with her when my wife returns for Rehab in Florida at the Florida House. This has been the toughest, most challanging, and most heart ripping experience of my entire lif...

odalis · odalis

Now that I'm not fighting and nagging it seems my husband wants to do it. For the past two months I have been doing really good. I do not fight, argue, give attitude. When my AH is talking too much and annoying me, I'll listen for a minute, nod my head and say I understand, then say I have to use the bathroom or...

gojojo · gojojo

My wife has been dry for 30 days today!! Thank God!! She is more patient with the kids, helps out around the house, even offered to make dinner for the first time in forever the other night. I have read some of the big book as well as "Everything Changes". Im doing my best at supporting her....

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Never ever thought I would be posting this type of question. I am becoming suspicious that my AH might be having an affair, she lives far away so I don't think it's physical but I think texts are involved and I found some photos today on our computer that would only be used for one thing in my opinion. I am SP...

lovee · lovee

As I've written before, I have been split with the father of my child for about a year and a half. He is now seeing someone. And all the sudden I'm feeling sad and wanting to have my family back in tact. I miss him, our friendship and his love. But I fended him off for a year and a half. I told him it wouldn't wor...

Pushka · Pushka

In a good way, I'm taking a huge leap of faith and I'm going to ask someone at the Sunday meeting to be my sponsor. I really like their shares and they weren't even on my list, then I had an epithany (thanks to a newer member God love them) and big giant DUH moment for me. There's a reason I have been waiting a...

lostnortherner · lostnortherner

This question is for folks with experience attending in-person afg meetings. A particular person that attends meetings in our town has an extreme rage problem. The person has many years in program, yet persists in trying to control meetings , pointing fingers (literally and figuratively) and oth...

atheos · atheos

I have a boss (who I shall call "G") who scares the crap out of me. He's critical of everything, never gives praise, and often doesn't acknowledge that you've said something, leaving you wondering if he's distracted and you should bring it up again later or if he already knows, has decided t...

ifa · ifa

I just got back from spending 10 days with my family of origin, because of my niece's wedding. My sister and I have had many conflicts about who should have responsibility for our disabled mother, and I was determined not to ruin this wedding by fighting. I got through everything perfectly, until the e...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I've been working really hard to focus on myself, and not my AH for the past 2 weeks. Even been staying at work or running errands at lunch so I don't have to go home and see him and risk getting into a fight. But today I feel really sad and lonely. I did my thing at home last night, which means watching my T...

Jerry F · Jerry F

What they're feeling is fear. That awareness came from a long program journey plus working as a counselor in a large Rehab Hospital and working with Alternatives to Violence men. Lying or avoiding the truth comes from the fear of being found out and/or wanting to take the pressure off by not measuri...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Today I had a quiet day at work and I felt ok. My fiance drank last night, and when I picked him up from work, I knew it. It was 11pm. I didn't react. I kept remembering what I have learned here and am learning from my sponsor... I remained calm. We came home and went to bed. He wasn't terribly drunk, no...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Just wondering ... I have a program friend that I love and respect. However, I have overheard her gossiping with other program friends from time to time. I feel uncomfortable about this. I've never participated in the gossip, and I'm not really sure what to do - if anything. My sponsor says that if...

MDK · MDK

Well last week my husband didn't show up for work on time and got suspended from work for 3 days. This is not the first time and if history repeats itself it will not be the last. Instead of worrying or getting mad I just kept my mouth shut and said I hate that for you maybe you need a little break. Well as it tur...

a_c_s · a_c_s

Hi, I am the husband of an alcoholic. My wife has struggled and been in and out of rehabs for the past several years. We have 4 young children at home, and her struggles have taken a toll on all of us. She just got back from a 2 month stay at her sister's out of town (her sister is in AA and it was a place where my wi...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, I am having a really good opportunity to practice all my alanon lessons. Tonight, I have asked my roommate to move out. We are friends, and that has made it especially hard for me. As I have started to seriously work through my recovery from these issues of alcoholism, addiction, and dysfunction...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am a pretty healthy person, generally. Nothing is usually physiologically wrong with me, I have some mental things like PTSD (anxiety, panic attacks, depression) and I have worked on that a lot. Now I found out that what the doctor thought was carpal tunnel is actually arthritis of the wrists and...

kandikween · kandikween

Hi my name is Liz, i'm eighteen and i've been living with an alcoholic all of my life. I used to be be very angry with him, he would fly off the handle for no reason, pit my mom against me, say mean things. We would always go back and forth. As I got older, he started grounding me for innapropriate things, on ho...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I have read and read and read. In fact if my boss knew how much I have sat on here and read, I would be sacked... that would give me more time to read though hey. Healthy detachment.. some of things I have read have given me cause to question my belief of what this may look like. I was self taught to walk away...

Jerry F · Jerry F

now have another urn with my ashes in it. I asked the question what are you feeling? and should not have. Had a fleeting opportunity to remember the past and to grab a hold of detachement and didn't. I did the samething again that I did in the past and got the same outcome. Does an asprin cure insanity...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Blast from the past, I've slipped so many times in my recovery. I've read some of my past posts and I see how much of my own roller coaster of recovery has been. I need to get help. I wanna be that girl I was in some of my old posts. I'm at square 1 again.

Lyne · Lyne

Well nothing stays the same, thank God! I have come to the message board almost everday for a month or two. I have not have time to read or go to a F2F meeting. Listening to all of you and trying to respond and write my own share, has really helped. I am feeling calmer, less flat, and more positive. My As...

youfoundme · youfoundme

-- Edited by youfoundme on Thursday 11th of August 2011 02:57:01 PM -- Edited by youfoundme on Thursday 11th of August 2011 09:22:59 PM

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi Those who know me on these boards know I have been married to AH for 39 years (+7 months). He has been alcohol dependant for last 6 or so years and his health has been seriously declining for the last 2 years. He is now in hospital for the last time. His liver has all but ceased functioning and his lungs are...

Pushka · Pushka

for a very important date .. lol .. I feel like the white rabbit from Alice and Wonderland!! Have a wonderful night all, Hugs P :)

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I feel a bit like I am writing a novel here but I just had to tell you guys about yesterday. If you have been following my posts (which I know some have) you may remember that I was feeling anxious about not checking up on him, and I sat and talked to the 'dope drawer'. In the afternoon, I was actually scare...

NovSun · NovSun

My books are on order, Courage to Change, One Day at a Time and Getting them Sober. They are due to arrive next Monday. My 2nd ever meeting is tonight and I am looking forward to it. The Afiance and I had a pretty good week. I am not sure if he actually drank on Monday or really went to dinner and the AA meet...

NovSun · NovSun

Just a ball of emotions today. I feel like I can't win. I feel stupid for looking the other way when my Afiance is right there in front of me, acting intoxicated. Like I am just oblivious to what is going on in my life, in MY house. Then, I get angry and feel like I have to prove I am right by checking phone re...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Triggers, and other stuff (Preview) I was triggered this weekend right back into my own disease. Yes I do believe and know that I have a disease of the mind, body and soul...spirit... I am triggered by many things but somehow because I have a sponsor, she can just speak to me and I am back in program. If I don't use the tool of calling her, ma...	youfoundme	9	1068	Aug 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Newbie Sharing Thoughts on Steps (Preview) Hi there, everyone. I'm Brian, and I'm new to this. I recently came to the realization (2 Weeks Ago) that despite all pretenses, and regardless of how my professional life is spot-on, my life was out of control. The Facts: I am codependent. My wife is an alcoholic and may be codependent also. I have b...	Superhero No More	8	335	Aug 15, 2011 by Doozy
	Struggling (Preview) My wife whom I never knew how much I truly loved and would miss has still not returned from her rehabilitation program in Florida. She has been gone for 60 days and I still have no information on her return of if she plans to try and save our marriage. It has been over a week and half since I have spoke with my 1...	plsellars	5	370	Aug 15, 2011 by plsellars
	Resentment and grief (Preview) Hi Its day 6 of my not checking up on him. I am feeling two things quite strongly which Iwould like education on from you guys. 1. Grief. I feel like crying alot. I feel I have lost something. Maybe it is the giving away of my control, maybe it is the realisation that I am married to an addict.... again....	Lindaoakford	6	860	Aug 15, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Scram Day (Preview) Well, .. it's official today is the big ol' SCRAM day .. ohhh boy .. this is so going to be interesting. I haven't been around much this weekend, it has just worked out that way in the evening. The past two meetings I haven't gotten home until after 10pm. There are a lot of other things happening that I...	Pushka	1	566	Aug 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Secrets (Preview) Ok .. I better start out by saying I learned my lesson well as we are having a situation unfold that is partially of my making and really none of my business. I pointed something out and all of a sudden there have been some what?! Now I'm going oh crud this is not what I had in mind. I got what I forced and now...	Pushka	5	895	Aug 15, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Procrastination isn't a part of the solution now. (Preview) Program is. Friday a usual day off for my wife because her hours were cut back a year ago because of the financial meltdown; however she told me she had an afternoon "business meeting" with the hotel she does the books for and that causes me to "flip" the program switch on and to g...	Jerry F	8	404	Aug 15, 2011 by Jozie
	Slightly off topic.... (Preview) As many know I posted for prayers recently regarding my brother`s situation being very sick from his disease. He still remains in ICU. My mother however is getting sicker and sicker in her disease. She was only at her best when she was in denial believing that he was not drinking. Now that he is hopitali...	Samsgram	7	466	Aug 15, 2011 by Samsgram
	Need some insight please (Preview) Hey everyone, how are you all? I've posted this on the AA boards too but was recommended to post here too, I hope you can help me. I'm not an alcoholic myself but my partner is. I knew he was before I began to date him, so it does not affect my opinion on him, but having been with him for a while I've noticed thi...	sugar-bomb	5	486	Aug 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	Day 5. In the midst of a nervous practice. All my posts are long (Preview) Day 5 I feel like vomiting a little bit right now. I knew I would have the opportunity to try out my new 'healthy detachment' and I guess its natural that i would feel this anxiety. today is Sunday. A few days back I asked for help on how to handle today. It was about going fishing. Yesterday i said to him,...	Lindaoakford	8	402	Aug 15, 2011 by Mattie
	My son lives with me and struggling. (Preview) I am really trying not to try to fix him, but am at a confused point right now,	msmousey	5	375	Aug 14, 2011 by Doozy
	Told my AH I go to Alanon! (Preview) Just some background info, I had posted on here a couple days ago about how to tell my AH I am going to Alanon. So last night we had this really long conversation, it started by him asking me about my student loans and why I hid them from him (when I still had not realized he was an alcoholic, he squashed al...	odalis	5	631	Aug 14, 2011 by GreenK
	Something to celebrate tonight! Program in action. (Preview) I had two dinner/neighborhood things to go to this evening. The first one I was dreading all day because I've been so focused on my alanon program and I often feel socially akward, and really seeing my chronic low self esteem etc. At times I'm convinced that I'm just a weirdo and too intense f...	GreenK	9	354	Aug 14, 2011 by Rora
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting for tomorrow morning, August 15, as I will be out of town. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair the meeting in my absence.	shimo	0	208	Aug 14, 2011 by shimo
	Have I shared ok that you underestand me? (Preview) Many of you know my past. Death of first husband, second is seriously insane. All my family has passed cept my two kids. Most my friends have passed.Lost everything due to ex Ah's disease. I mean material things. I am very close to the creator. Anyway Jerry helped me thru some grieving times. Now it hit...	Debilyn	13	589	Aug 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	Working it (Preview) Good afternoon everyone, For close to two weeks now my husband and I have been spending more time together, communicating better, and staying out of each other's programs. In the last couple of days, however, I have observed that he seems much more intense, less patient, frustrated, even very angr...	KLotus	4	621	Aug 14, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	finding time... (Preview) Hello everyone. I was hoping to get some ideas on how to find the time to go to meetings and work on my recovery. I work from 6:30am to 6pm Monday thru Friday (commute time included in that) I get home and my A goes to night school. I have enough time to feed and bathe my kids, spend a little time with them and i...	dragonflys	8	793	Aug 14, 2011 by dragonflys
	New here ~ long suffering wife of an alcohol dependant husbang (Preview) My husband finally went to Turning point in June 2010. He went to an assessment meeting and was told he was not a priority. By December 2010 we still had not heard from them so he rang them (probably because I "nagged" him!!). On our home phone there was a message from turning point which said &...	Passover	8	800	Aug 14, 2011 by Pushka
	Emotionally isolated. (Preview) Wonderful at last to find a online group. I wonder if there are any 'oldies' on this site. Briefly, my husband drank very heavily for the first 18/20 years of our married life....we lived in the rural area and not close to family or any support. Then suddenly I was in contact with Al-Anon. I left him...	Too hard	14	1769	Aug 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	I overreacting a little. (Preview) In response to my last post, I thought about it & came to the conclusion;after talking to an Alanon friend, that my statements were a little harsh. She lives on the same property that her mom does, and it seems to work for her. Anyhow, I have not changed my mind about having my mom stay w/ me at any time,...	Hoot Nanny	1	352	Aug 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	Just feeling... thinking... Hurting.... (Preview) I wish there was a "off" switch. Where did it go? I use to have one. But lately I can't find it. I want to turn off the feelings, the thinking and the hurt... I want and need some relief. I keep praying and begging God to do what He does and to do it soon... but its not happening, instead I am still stuck with m...	John	6	592	Aug 13, 2011 by Lyne
	Fear... (Preview) Just wanted to say that I went to a much needed meeting last night--my first since my husband left 7 days ago (yup, I am counting). The topic that someone else brought up was 'fear' when living with an active A. I was so happy it was the topic because I had been dealing with it all week! Well, really for the la...	sookie	8	764	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Not Judging (Preview) I want not to judge others. I can trace most of my feeling bad to my initial thought "why do they want to that?". Knowing why wouldn't help me. I can see my serenity vaporize. I'm asking for the experience of those of you who can bypass that judging step. How do you do it?	Jill	7	803	Aug 13, 2011 by maryjane
	To MIP's Moderators nice job! (Preview) I have frequented other message boards from time to time, but I'm put off by the language used and the negativity. It's very comforting to know that I can come here to read, learn and share my ES&H without having to overlook any of the language that most people wouldn't use when speaking in public. M...	GailMichelle	6	754	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	affair (Preview) Hello, all. I'm new here, and have a problem. 10 years ago I married a man who has been sober for 20 years now. I obviously love him, but I recently found out he had a brief affair recently. He has ended it, and says he wants to work to make us work. He likens it to a relapse, going so far as to say he even went to me...	zenflower	9	688	Aug 13, 2011 by zenflower
	Anxiety has taken over " Help" (Preview) Hi, I have been doing allot of reading and I can't help but feel over whelmed and anxious. The past 2 weeks have been pretty quite at home after confronting my AGF when she was sober. I tried to explain how I was feeling about our relationship, and that I wanted to start going to Al Anon meeting, I thought fo...	ladym	14	632	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	nagging resentment (Preview) My 15 year old and I have been pretty adversarial lately, which isn't all that unusual between a teen and his parent. It's just that he is sickly sweet to my EAW (Estranged Alcoholic Wife), he calls her 3-4 times a day, fawns all over her whenever she's around. He treats me like a leper while she can't do...	DadtoCandE	6	539	Aug 13, 2011 by maryjane
	Day 3 (my yesterday, your Friday today) (Preview) Confusing with this time gap. Its 8am Saturday morning here. Day 3 was Friday. I didn't feel so elated about it. Day 3 was a bit harder than 2. All day I was wondering if he would smoke, if he did, would he tell me, he didn't lie to me yesterday but he didn't tell me either, I asked... what now what now??? A...	Lindaoakford	9	606	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Encouragement Share :) (Preview) This week it seems like lots of us are having issues with seeing how far we've really come, and I just wanted to share my AHA moment .. lol. Kats post got me thinking about my house and the fact I've been acting out in a different way. I need to see some outside changes, no blonde hair for me this time around...	Pushka	9	681	Aug 13, 2011 by lasthope
	whatever; MOM again! (Preview) Again I have a MOM issue; last night w/o saying anything to me @ a meeting my mom said that when she sells her house, that she is moving in w/ my husband! whatever! I know she meant both of us & that is out of the question! I wasn't at the meeting but I am floored & very frustrated by her saying anything...	Hoot Nanny	5	600	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I need to break up with my RA boyfriend. (Preview) I need to break up with my recovering alcoholic boyfriend but I'm scared to. I keep hoping a "light bulb" will come on in his brain that says,"Oh I get it now. I'm being a total jerk with no compassion, empathy, or remorse when I yell at her, belittle her, curse at her, hang up on her and bla...	tropics4	10	1026	Aug 13, 2011 by maryjane
	Interesting Developments (Preview) Well, I just had an extremely interesting conversation with my A. I mean it was pretty deep considering where we have been at and how little he likes to share on that level with anyone. Plus he even called me from work and I'm really in awe over that. When he calls it's never to talk deep it's always to see...	Pushka	3	373	Aug 13, 2011 by Pushka
	WHY! (Preview) Today is my Daughters10th Birthday and I can not call her or see her. It seems my Wife Therapist believes it best for me to have contact with her when my wife returns for Rehab in Florida at the Florida House. This has been the toughest, most challanging, and most heart ripping experience of my entire lif...	plsellars	7	783	Aug 13, 2011 by plsellars
	Role reversal..hmmm (Preview) Now that I'm not fighting and nagging it seems my husband wants to do it. For the past two months I have been doing really good. I do not fight, argue, give attitude. When my AH is talking too much and annoying me, I'll listen for a minute, nod my head and say I understand, then say I have to use the bathroom or...	odalis	4	570	Aug 13, 2011 by GreenK
	So my wife is an alcoholic.... (Preview) My wife has been dry for 30 days today!! Thank God!! She is more patient with the kids, helps out around the house, even offered to make dinner for the first time in forever the other night. I have read some of the big book as well as "Everything Changes". Im doing my best at supporting her....	gojojo	9	1030	Aug 12, 2011 by maryjane
	Infidelity (Preview) Never ever thought I would be posting this type of question. I am becoming suspicious that my AH might be having an affair, she lives far away so I don't think it's physical but I think texts are involved and I found some photos today on our computer that would only be used for one thing in my opinion. I am SP...	surfgirl123	15	1329	Aug 12, 2011 by Bettina
	consumed with thoughts (Preview) As I've written before, I have been split with the father of my child for about a year and a half. He is now seeing someone. And all the sudden I'm feeling sad and wanting to have my family back in tact. I miss him, our friendship and his love. But I fended him off for a year and a half. I told him it wouldn't wor...	lovee	6	623	Aug 12, 2011 by Samsgram
	Nervous .... (Preview) In a good way, I'm taking a huge leap of faith and I'm going to ask someone at the Sunday meeting to be my sponsor. I really like their shares and they weren't even on my list, then I had an epithany (thanks to a newer member God love them) and big giant DUH moment for me. There's a reason I have been waiting a...	Pushka	6	339	Aug 12, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Need help from experienced group members re dealing with disruptive, rageful member (Preview) This question is for folks with experience attending in-person afg meetings. A particular person that attends meetings in our town has an extreme rage problem. The person has many years in program, yet persists in trying to control meetings , pointing fingers (literally and figuratively) and oth...	lostnortherner	5	1766	Aug 12, 2011 by Breakingfree
	The courage to change the things I can... (Preview) I have a boss (who I shall call "G") who scares the crap out of me. He's critical of everything, never gives praise, and often doesn't acknowledge that you've said something, leaving you wondering if he's distracted and you should bring it up again later or if he already knows, has decided t...	atheos	3	364	Aug 12, 2011 by Breakingfree
	big family event (Preview) I just got back from spending 10 days with my family of origin, because of my niece's wedding. My sister and I have had many conflicts about who should have responsibility for our disabled mother, and I was determined not to ruin this wedding by fighting. I got through everything perfectly, until the e...	ifa	11	710	Aug 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Is it normal to feel depressed when focusing on self (Preview) I've been working really hard to focus on myself, and not my AH for the past 2 weeks. Even been staying at work or running errands at lunch so I don't have to go home and see him and risk getting into a fight. But today I feel really sad and lonely. I did my thing at home last night, which means watching my T...	oldgraduate	5	325	Aug 12, 2011 by MDK
	If what they're doing is lying... (Preview) What they're feeling is fear. That awareness came from a long program journey plus working as a counselor in a large Rehab Hospital and working with Alternatives to Violence men. Lying or avoiding the truth comes from the fear of being found out and/or wanting to take the pressure off by not measuri...	Jerry F	11	795	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Today was a good day... (Preview) Today I had a quiet day at work and I felt ok. My fiance drank last night, and when I picked him up from work, I knew it. It was 11pm. I didn't react. I kept remembering what I have learned here and am learning from my sponsor... I remained calm. We came home and went to bed. He wasn't terribly drunk, no...	youfoundme	9	501	Aug 12, 2011 by MDK
	Gossip (Preview) Just wondering ... I have a program friend that I love and respect. However, I have overheard her gossiping with other program friends from time to time. I feel uncomfortable about this. I've never participated in the gossip, and I'm not really sure what to do - if anything. My sponsor says that if...	White Rabbit	8	572	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	updates (Preview) Well last week my husband didn't show up for work on time and got suspended from work for 3 days. This is not the first time and if history repeats itself it will not be the last. Instead of worrying or getting mad I just kept my mouth shut and said I hate that for you maybe you need a little break. Well as it tur...	MDK	5	454	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New Member Looking for Advice on a Family Situation (Preview) Hi, I am the husband of an alcoholic. My wife has struggled and been in and out of rehabs for the past several years. We have 4 young children at home, and her struggles have taken a toll on all of us. She just got back from a 2 month stay at her sister's out of town (her sister is in AA and it was a place where my wi...	a_c_s	12	591	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Asking roommate to move out (Preview) Well, I am having a really good opportunity to practice all my alanon lessons. Tonight, I have asked my roommate to move out. We are friends, and that has made it especially hard for me. As I have started to seriously work through my recovery from these issues of alcoholism, addiction, and dysfunction...	Doozy	4	741	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Health (Preview) I am a pretty healthy person, generally. Nothing is usually physiologically wrong with me, I have some mental things like PTSD (anxiety, panic attacks, depression) and I have worked on that a lot. Now I found out that what the doctor thought was carpal tunnel is actually arthritis of the wrists and...	youfoundme	13	792	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	scared (Preview) Hi my name is Liz, i'm eighteen and i've been living with an alcoholic all of my life. I used to be be very angry with him, he would fly off the handle for no reason, pit my mom against me, say mean things. We would always go back and forth. As I got older, he started grounding me for innapropriate things, on ho...	kandikween	9	2315	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	more thoughts on healthy detachment please (Preview) Hi I have read and read and read. In fact if my boss knew how much I have sat on here and read, I would be sacked... that would give me more time to read though hey. Healthy detachment.. some of things I have read have given me cause to question my belief of what this may look like. I was self taught to walk away...	Lindaoakford	22	523	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Exercised my will and... (Preview) now have another urn with my ashes in it. I asked the question what are you feeling? and should not have. Had a fleeting opportunity to remember the past and to grab a hold of detachement and didn't. I did the samething again that I did in the past and got the same outcome. Does an asprin cure insanity...	Jerry F	8	402	Aug 12, 2011 by Jozie
	I've slipped as many times as my A hubby.. (Preview) Blast from the past, I've slipped so many times in my recovery. I've read some of my past posts and I see how much of my own roller coaster of recovery has been. I need to get help. I wanna be that girl I was in some of my old posts. I'm at square 1 again.	Sincerely	6	313	Aug 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	things do change (Preview) Well nothing stays the same, thank God! I have come to the message board almost everday for a month or two. I have not have time to read or go to a F2F meeting. Listening to all of you and trying to respond and write my own share, has really helped. I am feeling calmer, less flat, and more positive. My As...	Lyne	5	420	Aug 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	Poetry...art...an outlet (Preview) -- Edited by youfoundme on Thursday 11th of August 2011 02:57:01 PM -- Edited by youfoundme on Thursday 11th of August 2011 09:22:59 PM	youfoundme	2	281	Aug 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	Please keep us in your thoughts (Preview) Hi Those who know me on these boards know I have been married to AH for 39 years (+7 months). He has been alcohol dependant for last 6 or so years and his health has been seriously declining for the last 2 years. He is now in hospital for the last time. His liver has all but ceased functioning and his lungs are...	Tattyhead	14	442	Aug 11, 2011 by Pushka
	I'm late I'm late (Preview) for a very important date .. lol .. I feel like the white rabbit from Alice and Wonderland!! Have a wonderful night all, Hugs P :)	Pushka	1	339	Aug 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Day 2 - how it finished up (all my posts are long) (Preview) Hi I feel a bit like I am writing a novel here but I just had to tell you guys about yesterday. If you have been following my posts (which I know some have) you may remember that I was feeling anxious about not checking up on him, and I sat and talked to the 'dope drawer'. In the afternoon, I was actually scare...	Lindaoakford	5	373	Aug 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Books On Order (Preview) My books are on order, Courage to Change, One Day at a Time and Getting them Sober. They are due to arrive next Monday. My 2nd ever meeting is tonight and I am looking forward to it. The Afiance and I had a pretty good week. I am not sure if he actually drank on Monday or really went to dinner and the AA meet...	NovSun	8	461	Aug 11, 2011 by NovSun
	Feeling Stupid (Preview) Just a ball of emotions today. I feel like I can't win. I feel stupid for looking the other way when my Afiance is right there in front of me, acting intoxicated. Like I am just oblivious to what is going on in my life, in MY house. Then, I get angry and feel like I have to prove I am right by checking phone re...	NovSun	8	491	Aug 11, 2011 by NovSun
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.