Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Just want to vent today. Have not been feeling emotionally well today. Feeling a bit frustrated about things: family, job, my weekly Alanon meeting, and hosts of other things. Went to a meeting tonite and the meeting was conversational style. Cross talk was really up and happening throughout the me...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Ugh, I need to do some medical treatments for a few weeks that cause mood and personality changes at times. In person I manage well but when I write I have a bit less .... let's call it tact? I refrain from posting during these treatments because my true personality and thoughts are not well represented...

pineapple · pineapple

Tom, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I hope you have an excellent day, you deserve it!

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I still feel the need to update this board on each day. Yesterday I was feeling really low. You know I think people like us become a tad psychic (or psycho as my mother would say). I had a feeling yesterday that something 'odd' was happening. Anyway, I got home before him. Usually I woudl come strai...

Lizabelle123 · Lizabelle123

My AH had an accident a little over a month ago while seriously intoxicated and got pretty banged up. He's been sober ever since, joined a Smart Recovery program (he is an atheist so he has a really hard time with AA), sees a therapist and goes to meetings. He seems to be doing really well but I know he stl...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, I went to a mini convention at the weekend to celebrate 60 years of al anon it was great. I saw lots of al anon memebers that i only really see at conventions. My ABF slipped over amonths ago and is back out there after 9 months sobriety. I have been doing o.k and have not been in contact leavi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I don't feel like I make any sense at all! The words don't come out right & I just feel very frustrated by it all. I don't know if it is age, exhaustion or mental difficulties. I have been known to hit my head quite often. I have bad vision & don't always realize that my head is closer to som...

HopeLadybug · HopeLadybug

Hi everyone- please forgive me in advance if this post is confusing and rambling at times- I feel as tho I have an overload of emotions and thoughts running thru my head right now and just need to get it out. I've been a member of a group board in the past (when I was pregnant) and have always felt that was som...

Pushka · Pushka

ME ME ME .. I DID IT!! I actually got in the car, started it and now I'm fully driving down the road. I'm soooo excited and anxious. The lady I asked, I have been listening to her shares over the past few weeks and I don't know why I didn't think to ask her earlier, she's not my home meeting I really enjoy thi...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I was triggered this weekend right back into my own disease. Yes I do believe and know that I have a disease of the mind, body and soul...spirit... I am triggered by many things but somehow because I have a sponsor, she can just speak to me and I am back in program. If I don't use the tool of calling her, ma...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Hi there, everyone. I'm Brian, and I'm new to this. I recently came to the realization (2 Weeks Ago) that despite all pretenses, and regardless of how my professional life is spot-on, my life was out of control. The Facts: I am codependent. My wife is an alcoholic and may be codependent also. I have b...

plsellars · plsellars

My wife whom I never knew how much I truly loved and would miss has still not returned from her rehabilitation program in Florida. She has been gone for 60 days and I still have no information on her return of if she plans to try and save our marriage. It has been over a week and half since I have spoke with my 1...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi Its day 6 of my not checking up on him. I am feeling two things quite strongly which Iwould like education on from you guys. 1. Grief. I feel like crying alot. I feel I have lost something. Maybe it is the giving away of my control, maybe it is the realisation that I am married to an addict.... again....

Pushka · Pushka

Well, .. it's official today is the big ol' SCRAM day .. ohhh boy .. this is so going to be interesting. I haven't been around much this weekend, it has just worked out that way in the evening. The past two meetings I haven't gotten home until after 10pm. There are a lot of other things happening that I...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. I better start out by saying I learned my lesson well as we are having a situation unfold that is partially of my making and really none of my business. I pointed something out and all of a sudden there have been some what?! Now I'm going oh crud this is not what I had in mind. I got what I forced and now...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Program is. Friday a usual day off for my wife because her hours were cut back a year ago because of the financial meltdown; however she told me she had an afternoon "business meeting" with the hotel she does the books for and that causes me to "flip" the program switch on and to g...

Samsgram · Samsgram

As many know I posted for prayers recently regarding my brother`s situation being very sick from his disease. He still remains in ICU. My mother however is getting sicker and sicker in her disease. She was only at her best when she was in denial believing that he was not drinking. Now that he is hopitali...

sugar-bomb · sugar-bomb

Hey everyone, how are you all? I've posted this on the AA boards too but was recommended to post here too, I hope you can help me. I'm not an alcoholic myself but my partner is. I knew he was before I began to date him, so it does not affect my opinion on him, but having been with him for a while I've noticed thi...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Day 5 I feel like vomiting a little bit right now. I knew I would have the opportunity to try out my new 'healthy detachment' and I guess its natural that i would feel this anxiety. today is Sunday. A few days back I asked for help on how to handle today. It was about going fishing. Yesterday i said to him,...

msmousey · msmousey

I am really trying not to try to fix him, but am at a confused point right now,

odalis · odalis

Just some background info, I had posted on here a couple days ago about how to tell my AH I am going to Alanon. So last night we had this really long conversation, it started by him asking me about my student loans and why I hid them from him (when I still had not realized he was an alcoholic, he squashed al...

GreenK · GreenK

I had two dinner/neighborhood things to go to this evening. The first one I was dreading all day because I've been so focused on my alanon program and I often feel socially akward, and really seeing my chronic low self esteem etc. At times I'm convinced that I'm just a weirdo and too intense f...

shimo · shimo

I am unable honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting for tomorrow morning, August 15, as I will be out of town. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair the meeting in my absence.

Debilyn · Debilyn

Many of you know my past. Death of first husband, second is seriously insane. All my family has passed cept my two kids. Most my friends have passed.Lost everything due to ex Ah's disease. I mean material things. I am very close to the creator. Anyway Jerry helped me thru some grieving times. Now it hit...

KLotus · KLotus

Good afternoon everyone, For close to two weeks now my husband and I have been spending more time together, communicating better, and staying out of each other's programs. In the last couple of days, however, I have observed that he seems much more intense, less patient, frustrated, even very angr...

dragonflys · dragonflys

Hello everyone. I was hoping to get some ideas on how to find the time to go to meetings and work on my recovery. I work from 6:30am to 6pm Monday thru Friday (commute time included in that) I get home and my A goes to night school. I have enough time to feed and bathe my kids, spend a little time with them and i...

Passover · Passover

My husband finally went to Turning point in June 2010. He went to an assessment meeting and was told he was not a priority. By December 2010 we still had not heard from them so he rang them (probably because I "nagged" him!!). On our home phone there was a message from turning point which said &...

Too hard · Too hard

Wonderful at last to find a online group. I wonder if there are any 'oldies' on this site. Briefly, my husband drank very heavily for the first 18/20 years of our married life....we lived in the rural area and not close to family or any support. Then suddenly I was in contact with Al-Anon. I left him...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

In response to my last post, I thought about it & came to the conclusion;after talking to an Alanon friend, that my statements were a little harsh. She lives on the same property that her mom does, and it seems to work for her. Anyhow, I have not changed my mind about having my mom stay w/ me at any time,...

John · John

I wish there was a "off" switch. Where did it go? I use to have one. But lately I can't find it. I want to turn off the feelings, the thinking and the hurt... I want and need some relief. I keep praying and begging God to do what He does and to do it soon... but its not happening, instead I am still stuck with m...

sookie · sookie

Just wanted to say that I went to a much needed meeting last night--my first since my husband left 7 days ago (yup, I am counting). The topic that someone else brought up was 'fear' when living with an active A. I was so happy it was the topic because I had been dealing with it all week! Well, really for the la...

Jill · Jill

I want not to judge others. I can trace most of my feeling bad to my initial thought "why do they want to that?". Knowing why wouldn't help me. I can see my serenity vaporize. I'm asking for the experience of those of you who can bypass that judging step. How do you do it?

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I have frequented other message boards from time to time, but I'm put off by the language used and the negativity. It's very comforting to know that I can come here to read, learn and share my ES&H without having to overlook any of the language that most people wouldn't use when speaking in public. M...

zenflower · zenflower

Hello, all. I'm new here, and have a problem. 10 years ago I married a man who has been sober for 20 years now. I obviously love him, but I recently found out he had a brief affair recently. He has ended it, and says he wants to work to make us work. He likens it to a relapse, going so far as to say he even went to me...

ladym · ladym

Hi, I have been doing allot of reading and I can't help but feel over whelmed and anxious. The past 2 weeks have been pretty quite at home after confronting my AGF when she was sober. I tried to explain how I was feeling about our relationship, and that I wanted to start going to Al Anon meeting, I thought fo...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My 15 year old and I have been pretty adversarial lately, which isn't all that unusual between a teen and his parent. It's just that he is sickly sweet to my EAW (Estranged Alcoholic Wife), he calls her 3-4 times a day, fawns all over her whenever she's around. He treats me like a leper while she can't do...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Confusing with this time gap. Its 8am Saturday morning here. Day 3 was Friday. I didn't feel so elated about it. Day 3 was a bit harder than 2. All day I was wondering if he would smoke, if he did, would he tell me, he didn't lie to me yesterday but he didn't tell me either, I asked... what now what now??? A...

Pushka · Pushka

This week it seems like lots of us are having issues with seeing how far we've really come, and I just wanted to share my AHA moment .. lol. Kats post got me thinking about my house and the fact I've been acting out in a different way. I need to see some outside changes, no blonde hair for me this time around...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Again I have a MOM issue; last night w/o saying anything to me @ a meeting my mom said that when she sells her house, that she is moving in w/ my husband! whatever! I know she meant both of us & that is out of the question! I wasn't at the meeting but I am floored & very frustrated by her saying anything...

tropics4 · tropics4

I need to break up with my recovering alcoholic boyfriend but I'm scared to. I keep hoping a "light bulb" will come on in his brain that says,"Oh I get it now. I'm being a total jerk with no compassion, empathy, or remorse when I yell at her, belittle her, curse at her, hang up on her and bla...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, I just had an extremely interesting conversation with my A. I mean it was pretty deep considering where we have been at and how little he likes to share on that level with anyone. Plus he even called me from work and I'm really in awe over that. When he calls it's never to talk deep it's always to see...

plsellars · plsellars

Today is my Daughters10th Birthday and I can not call her or see her. It seems my Wife Therapist believes it best for me to have contact with her when my wife returns for Rehab in Florida at the Florida House. This has been the toughest, most challanging, and most heart ripping experience of my entire lif...

odalis · odalis

Now that I'm not fighting and nagging it seems my husband wants to do it. For the past two months I have been doing really good. I do not fight, argue, give attitude. When my AH is talking too much and annoying me, I'll listen for a minute, nod my head and say I understand, then say I have to use the bathroom or...

gojojo · gojojo

My wife has been dry for 30 days today!! Thank God!! She is more patient with the kids, helps out around the house, even offered to make dinner for the first time in forever the other night. I have read some of the big book as well as "Everything Changes". Im doing my best at supporting her....

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Never ever thought I would be posting this type of question. I am becoming suspicious that my AH might be having an affair, she lives far away so I don't think it's physical but I think texts are involved and I found some photos today on our computer that would only be used for one thing in my opinion. I am SP...

lovee · lovee

As I've written before, I have been split with the father of my child for about a year and a half. He is now seeing someone. And all the sudden I'm feeling sad and wanting to have my family back in tact. I miss him, our friendship and his love. But I fended him off for a year and a half. I told him it wouldn't wor...

Pushka · Pushka

In a good way, I'm taking a huge leap of faith and I'm going to ask someone at the Sunday meeting to be my sponsor. I really like their shares and they weren't even on my list, then I had an epithany (thanks to a newer member God love them) and big giant DUH moment for me. There's a reason I have been waiting a...

lostnortherner · lostnortherner

This question is for folks with experience attending in-person afg meetings. A particular person that attends meetings in our town has an extreme rage problem. The person has many years in program, yet persists in trying to control meetings , pointing fingers (literally and figuratively) and oth...

atheos · atheos

I have a boss (who I shall call "G") who scares the crap out of me. He's critical of everything, never gives praise, and often doesn't acknowledge that you've said something, leaving you wondering if he's distracted and you should bring it up again later or if he already knows, has decided t...

ifa · ifa

I just got back from spending 10 days with my family of origin, because of my niece's wedding. My sister and I have had many conflicts about who should have responsibility for our disabled mother, and I was determined not to ruin this wedding by fighting. I got through everything perfectly, until the e...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I've been working really hard to focus on myself, and not my AH for the past 2 weeks. Even been staying at work or running errands at lunch so I don't have to go home and see him and risk getting into a fight. But today I feel really sad and lonely. I did my thing at home last night, which means watching my T...

Jerry F · Jerry F

What they're feeling is fear. That awareness came from a long program journey plus working as a counselor in a large Rehab Hospital and working with Alternatives to Violence men. Lying or avoiding the truth comes from the fear of being found out and/or wanting to take the pressure off by not measuri...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Today I had a quiet day at work and I felt ok. My fiance drank last night, and when I picked him up from work, I knew it. It was 11pm. I didn't react. I kept remembering what I have learned here and am learning from my sponsor... I remained calm. We came home and went to bed. He wasn't terribly drunk, no...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Just wondering ... I have a program friend that I love and respect. However, I have overheard her gossiping with other program friends from time to time. I feel uncomfortable about this. I've never participated in the gossip, and I'm not really sure what to do - if anything. My sponsor says that if...

MDK · MDK

Well last week my husband didn't show up for work on time and got suspended from work for 3 days. This is not the first time and if history repeats itself it will not be the last. Instead of worrying or getting mad I just kept my mouth shut and said I hate that for you maybe you need a little break. Well as it tur...

a_c_s · a_c_s

Hi, I am the husband of an alcoholic. My wife has struggled and been in and out of rehabs for the past several years. We have 4 young children at home, and her struggles have taken a toll on all of us. She just got back from a 2 month stay at her sister's out of town (her sister is in AA and it was a place where my wi...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, I am having a really good opportunity to practice all my alanon lessons. Tonight, I have asked my roommate to move out. We are friends, and that has made it especially hard for me. As I have started to seriously work through my recovery from these issues of alcoholism, addiction, and dysfunction...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am a pretty healthy person, generally. Nothing is usually physiologically wrong with me, I have some mental things like PTSD (anxiety, panic attacks, depression) and I have worked on that a lot. Now I found out that what the doctor thought was carpal tunnel is actually arthritis of the wrists and...

kandikween · kandikween

Hi my name is Liz, i'm eighteen and i've been living with an alcoholic all of my life. I used to be be very angry with him, he would fly off the handle for no reason, pit my mom against me, say mean things. We would always go back and forth. As I got older, he started grounding me for innapropriate things, on ho...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I have read and read and read. In fact if my boss knew how much I have sat on here and read, I would be sacked... that would give me more time to read though hey. Healthy detachment.. some of things I have read have given me cause to question my belief of what this may look like. I was self taught to walk away...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling Overwhelmed Today (Preview) Just want to vent today. Have not been feeling emotionally well today. Feeling a bit frustrated about things: family, job, my weekly Alanon meeting, and hosts of other things. Went to a meeting tonite and the meeting was conversational style. Cross talk was really up and happening throughout the me...	hawaiilover	10	619	Aug 16, 2011 by odalis
	My Absent Note (Preview) Ugh, I need to do some medical treatments for a few weeks that cause mood and personality changes at times. In person I manage well but when I write I have a bit less .... let's call it tact? I refrain from posting during these treatments because my true personality and thoughts are not well represented...	Jennifer	8	691	Aug 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Happy birthday canadianguy (Preview) Tom, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I hope you have an excellent day, you deserve it!	pineapple	19	528	Aug 16, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Yesterday (Preview) Hi I still feel the need to update this board on each day. Yesterday I was feeling really low. You know I think people like us become a tad psychic (or psycho as my mother would say). I had a feeling yesterday that something 'odd' was happening. Anyway, I got home before him. Usually I woudl come strai...	Lindaoakford	10	557	Aug 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Is it wrong to consider leaving? (Preview) My AH had an accident a little over a month ago while seriously intoxicated and got pretty banged up. He's been sober ever since, joined a Smart Recovery program (he is an atheist so he has a really hard time with AA), sees a therapist and goes to meetings. He seems to be doing really well but I know he stl...	Lizabelle123	11	3073	Aug 16, 2011 by Too hard
	60 years of al anon (Preview) Hi everyone, I went to a mini convention at the weekend to celebrate 60 years of al anon it was great. I saw lots of al anon memebers that i only really see at conventions. My ABF slipped over amonths ago and is back out there after 9 months sobriety. I have been doing o.k and have not been in contact leavi...	Tracy	4	657	Aug 16, 2011 by hawaiilover
	sometimes I don't feel like I make sense! (Preview) Sometimes I don't feel like I make any sense at all! The words don't come out right & I just feel very frustrated by it all. I don't know if it is age, exhaustion or mental difficulties. I have been known to hit my head quite often. I have bad vision & don't always realize that my head is closer to som...	Hoot Nanny	7	540	Aug 15, 2011 by HopeLadybug
	New here and feeling lost and terrified. (Preview) Hi everyone- please forgive me in advance if this post is confusing and rambling at times- I feel as tho I have an overload of emotions and thoughts running thru my head right now and just need to get it out. I've been a member of a group board in the past (when I was pregnant) and have always felt that was som...	HopeLadybug	11	447	Aug 15, 2011 by RLC
	Guess who got a sponsor?? (Preview) ME ME ME .. I DID IT!! I actually got in the car, started it and now I'm fully driving down the road. I'm soooo excited and anxious. The lady I asked, I have been listening to her shares over the past few weeks and I don't know why I didn't think to ask her earlier, she's not my home meeting I really enjoy thi...	Pushka	8	363	Aug 15, 2011 by Jerry F
	Triggers, and other stuff (Preview) I was triggered this weekend right back into my own disease. Yes I do believe and know that I have a disease of the mind, body and soul...spirit... I am triggered by many things but somehow because I have a sponsor, she can just speak to me and I am back in program. If I don't use the tool of calling her, ma...	youfoundme	9	1089	Aug 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Newbie Sharing Thoughts on Steps (Preview) Hi there, everyone. I'm Brian, and I'm new to this. I recently came to the realization (2 Weeks Ago) that despite all pretenses, and regardless of how my professional life is spot-on, my life was out of control. The Facts: I am codependent. My wife is an alcoholic and may be codependent also. I have b...	Superhero No More	8	345	Aug 15, 2011 by Doozy
	Struggling (Preview) My wife whom I never knew how much I truly loved and would miss has still not returned from her rehabilitation program in Florida. She has been gone for 60 days and I still have no information on her return of if she plans to try and save our marriage. It has been over a week and half since I have spoke with my 1...	plsellars	5	378	Aug 15, 2011 by plsellars
	Resentment and grief (Preview) Hi Its day 6 of my not checking up on him. I am feeling two things quite strongly which Iwould like education on from you guys. 1. Grief. I feel like crying alot. I feel I have lost something. Maybe it is the giving away of my control, maybe it is the realisation that I am married to an addict.... again....	Lindaoakford	6	869	Aug 15, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Scram Day (Preview) Well, .. it's official today is the big ol' SCRAM day .. ohhh boy .. this is so going to be interesting. I haven't been around much this weekend, it has just worked out that way in the evening. The past two meetings I haven't gotten home until after 10pm. There are a lot of other things happening that I...	Pushka	1	577	Aug 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Secrets (Preview) Ok .. I better start out by saying I learned my lesson well as we are having a situation unfold that is partially of my making and really none of my business. I pointed something out and all of a sudden there have been some what?! Now I'm going oh crud this is not what I had in mind. I got what I forced and now...	Pushka	5	977	Aug 15, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Procrastination isn't a part of the solution now. (Preview) Program is. Friday a usual day off for my wife because her hours were cut back a year ago because of the financial meltdown; however she told me she had an afternoon "business meeting" with the hotel she does the books for and that causes me to "flip" the program switch on and to g...	Jerry F	8	411	Aug 15, 2011 by Jozie
	Slightly off topic.... (Preview) As many know I posted for prayers recently regarding my brother`s situation being very sick from his disease. He still remains in ICU. My mother however is getting sicker and sicker in her disease. She was only at her best when she was in denial believing that he was not drinking. Now that he is hopitali...	Samsgram	7	474	Aug 15, 2011 by Samsgram
	Need some insight please (Preview) Hey everyone, how are you all? I've posted this on the AA boards too but was recommended to post here too, I hope you can help me. I'm not an alcoholic myself but my partner is. I knew he was before I began to date him, so it does not affect my opinion on him, but having been with him for a while I've noticed thi...	sugar-bomb	5	495	Aug 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	Day 5. In the midst of a nervous practice. All my posts are long (Preview) Day 5 I feel like vomiting a little bit right now. I knew I would have the opportunity to try out my new 'healthy detachment' and I guess its natural that i would feel this anxiety. today is Sunday. A few days back I asked for help on how to handle today. It was about going fishing. Yesterday i said to him,...	Lindaoakford	8	410	Aug 15, 2011 by Mattie
	My son lives with me and struggling. (Preview) I am really trying not to try to fix him, but am at a confused point right now,	msmousey	5	384	Aug 14, 2011 by Doozy
	Told my AH I go to Alanon! (Preview) Just some background info, I had posted on here a couple days ago about how to tell my AH I am going to Alanon. So last night we had this really long conversation, it started by him asking me about my student loans and why I hid them from him (when I still had not realized he was an alcoholic, he squashed al...	odalis	5	640	Aug 14, 2011 by GreenK
	Something to celebrate tonight! Program in action. (Preview) I had two dinner/neighborhood things to go to this evening. The first one I was dreading all day because I've been so focused on my alanon program and I often feel socially akward, and really seeing my chronic low self esteem etc. At times I'm convinced that I'm just a weirdo and too intense f...	GreenK	9	370	Aug 14, 2011 by Rora
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting for tomorrow morning, August 15, as I will be out of town. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair the meeting in my absence.	shimo	0	216	Aug 14, 2011 by shimo
	Have I shared ok that you underestand me? (Preview) Many of you know my past. Death of first husband, second is seriously insane. All my family has passed cept my two kids. Most my friends have passed.Lost everything due to ex Ah's disease. I mean material things. I am very close to the creator. Anyway Jerry helped me thru some grieving times. Now it hit...	Debilyn	13	602	Aug 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	Working it (Preview) Good afternoon everyone, For close to two weeks now my husband and I have been spending more time together, communicating better, and staying out of each other's programs. In the last couple of days, however, I have observed that he seems much more intense, less patient, frustrated, even very angr...	KLotus	4	632	Aug 14, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	finding time... (Preview) Hello everyone. I was hoping to get some ideas on how to find the time to go to meetings and work on my recovery. I work from 6:30am to 6pm Monday thru Friday (commute time included in that) I get home and my A goes to night school. I have enough time to feed and bathe my kids, spend a little time with them and i...	dragonflys	8	801	Aug 14, 2011 by dragonflys
	New here ~ long suffering wife of an alcohol dependant husbang (Preview) My husband finally went to Turning point in June 2010. He went to an assessment meeting and was told he was not a priority. By December 2010 we still had not heard from them so he rang them (probably because I "nagged" him!!). On our home phone there was a message from turning point which said &...	Passover	8	808	Aug 14, 2011 by Pushka
	Emotionally isolated. (Preview) Wonderful at last to find a online group. I wonder if there are any 'oldies' on this site. Briefly, my husband drank very heavily for the first 18/20 years of our married life....we lived in the rural area and not close to family or any support. Then suddenly I was in contact with Al-Anon. I left him...	Too hard	14	1781	Aug 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	I overreacting a little. (Preview) In response to my last post, I thought about it & came to the conclusion;after talking to an Alanon friend, that my statements were a little harsh. She lives on the same property that her mom does, and it seems to work for her. Anyhow, I have not changed my mind about having my mom stay w/ me at any time,...	Hoot Nanny	1	360	Aug 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	Just feeling... thinking... Hurting.... (Preview) I wish there was a "off" switch. Where did it go? I use to have one. But lately I can't find it. I want to turn off the feelings, the thinking and the hurt... I want and need some relief. I keep praying and begging God to do what He does and to do it soon... but its not happening, instead I am still stuck with m...	John	6	601	Aug 13, 2011 by Lyne
	Fear... (Preview) Just wanted to say that I went to a much needed meeting last night--my first since my husband left 7 days ago (yup, I am counting). The topic that someone else brought up was 'fear' when living with an active A. I was so happy it was the topic because I had been dealing with it all week! Well, really for the la...	sookie	8	781	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Not Judging (Preview) I want not to judge others. I can trace most of my feeling bad to my initial thought "why do they want to that?". Knowing why wouldn't help me. I can see my serenity vaporize. I'm asking for the experience of those of you who can bypass that judging step. How do you do it?	Jill	7	816	Aug 13, 2011 by maryjane
	To MIP's Moderators nice job! (Preview) I have frequented other message boards from time to time, but I'm put off by the language used and the negativity. It's very comforting to know that I can come here to read, learn and share my ES&H without having to overlook any of the language that most people wouldn't use when speaking in public. M...	GailMichelle	6	763	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	affair (Preview) Hello, all. I'm new here, and have a problem. 10 years ago I married a man who has been sober for 20 years now. I obviously love him, but I recently found out he had a brief affair recently. He has ended it, and says he wants to work to make us work. He likens it to a relapse, going so far as to say he even went to me...	zenflower	9	705	Aug 13, 2011 by zenflower
	Anxiety has taken over " Help" (Preview) Hi, I have been doing allot of reading and I can't help but feel over whelmed and anxious. The past 2 weeks have been pretty quite at home after confronting my AGF when she was sober. I tried to explain how I was feeling about our relationship, and that I wanted to start going to Al Anon meeting, I thought fo...	ladym	14	637	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	nagging resentment (Preview) My 15 year old and I have been pretty adversarial lately, which isn't all that unusual between a teen and his parent. It's just that he is sickly sweet to my EAW (Estranged Alcoholic Wife), he calls her 3-4 times a day, fawns all over her whenever she's around. He treats me like a leper while she can't do...	DadtoCandE	6	549	Aug 13, 2011 by maryjane
	Day 3 (my yesterday, your Friday today) (Preview) Confusing with this time gap. Its 8am Saturday morning here. Day 3 was Friday. I didn't feel so elated about it. Day 3 was a bit harder than 2. All day I was wondering if he would smoke, if he did, would he tell me, he didn't lie to me yesterday but he didn't tell me either, I asked... what now what now??? A...	Lindaoakford	9	617	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Encouragement Share :) (Preview) This week it seems like lots of us are having issues with seeing how far we've really come, and I just wanted to share my AHA moment .. lol. Kats post got me thinking about my house and the fact I've been acting out in a different way. I need to see some outside changes, no blonde hair for me this time around...	Pushka	9	699	Aug 13, 2011 by lasthope
	whatever; MOM again! (Preview) Again I have a MOM issue; last night w/o saying anything to me @ a meeting my mom said that when she sells her house, that she is moving in w/ my husband! whatever! I know she meant both of us & that is out of the question! I wasn't at the meeting but I am floored & very frustrated by her saying anything...	Hoot Nanny	5	612	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I need to break up with my RA boyfriend. (Preview) I need to break up with my recovering alcoholic boyfriend but I'm scared to. I keep hoping a "light bulb" will come on in his brain that says,"Oh I get it now. I'm being a total jerk with no compassion, empathy, or remorse when I yell at her, belittle her, curse at her, hang up on her and bla...	tropics4	10	1036	Aug 13, 2011 by maryjane
	Interesting Developments (Preview) Well, I just had an extremely interesting conversation with my A. I mean it was pretty deep considering where we have been at and how little he likes to share on that level with anyone. Plus he even called me from work and I'm really in awe over that. When he calls it's never to talk deep it's always to see...	Pushka	3	384	Aug 13, 2011 by Pushka
	WHY! (Preview) Today is my Daughters10th Birthday and I can not call her or see her. It seems my Wife Therapist believes it best for me to have contact with her when my wife returns for Rehab in Florida at the Florida House. This has been the toughest, most challanging, and most heart ripping experience of my entire lif...	plsellars	7	791	Aug 13, 2011 by plsellars
	Role reversal..hmmm (Preview) Now that I'm not fighting and nagging it seems my husband wants to do it. For the past two months I have been doing really good. I do not fight, argue, give attitude. When my AH is talking too much and annoying me, I'll listen for a minute, nod my head and say I understand, then say I have to use the bathroom or...	odalis	4	580	Aug 13, 2011 by GreenK
	So my wife is an alcoholic.... (Preview) My wife has been dry for 30 days today!! Thank God!! She is more patient with the kids, helps out around the house, even offered to make dinner for the first time in forever the other night. I have read some of the big book as well as "Everything Changes". Im doing my best at supporting her....	gojojo	9	1049	Aug 12, 2011 by maryjane
	Infidelity (Preview) Never ever thought I would be posting this type of question. I am becoming suspicious that my AH might be having an affair, she lives far away so I don't think it's physical but I think texts are involved and I found some photos today on our computer that would only be used for one thing in my opinion. I am SP...	surfgirl123	15	1339	Aug 12, 2011 by Bettina
	consumed with thoughts (Preview) As I've written before, I have been split with the father of my child for about a year and a half. He is now seeing someone. And all the sudden I'm feeling sad and wanting to have my family back in tact. I miss him, our friendship and his love. But I fended him off for a year and a half. I told him it wouldn't wor...	lovee	6	631	Aug 12, 2011 by Samsgram
	Nervous .... (Preview) In a good way, I'm taking a huge leap of faith and I'm going to ask someone at the Sunday meeting to be my sponsor. I really like their shares and they weren't even on my list, then I had an epithany (thanks to a newer member God love them) and big giant DUH moment for me. There's a reason I have been waiting a...	Pushka	6	346	Aug 12, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Need help from experienced group members re dealing with disruptive, rageful member (Preview) This question is for folks with experience attending in-person afg meetings. A particular person that attends meetings in our town has an extreme rage problem. The person has many years in program, yet persists in trying to control meetings , pointing fingers (literally and figuratively) and oth...	lostnortherner	5	1778	Aug 12, 2011 by Breakingfree
	The courage to change the things I can... (Preview) I have a boss (who I shall call "G") who scares the crap out of me. He's critical of everything, never gives praise, and often doesn't acknowledge that you've said something, leaving you wondering if he's distracted and you should bring it up again later or if he already knows, has decided t...	atheos	3	377	Aug 12, 2011 by Breakingfree
	big family event (Preview) I just got back from spending 10 days with my family of origin, because of my niece's wedding. My sister and I have had many conflicts about who should have responsibility for our disabled mother, and I was determined not to ruin this wedding by fighting. I got through everything perfectly, until the e...	ifa	11	718	Aug 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Is it normal to feel depressed when focusing on self (Preview) I've been working really hard to focus on myself, and not my AH for the past 2 weeks. Even been staying at work or running errands at lunch so I don't have to go home and see him and risk getting into a fight. But today I feel really sad and lonely. I did my thing at home last night, which means watching my T...	oldgraduate	5	333	Aug 12, 2011 by MDK
	If what they're doing is lying... (Preview) What they're feeling is fear. That awareness came from a long program journey plus working as a counselor in a large Rehab Hospital and working with Alternatives to Violence men. Lying or avoiding the truth comes from the fear of being found out and/or wanting to take the pressure off by not measuri...	Jerry F	11	807	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Today was a good day... (Preview) Today I had a quiet day at work and I felt ok. My fiance drank last night, and when I picked him up from work, I knew it. It was 11pm. I didn't react. I kept remembering what I have learned here and am learning from my sponsor... I remained calm. We came home and went to bed. He wasn't terribly drunk, no...	youfoundme	9	520	Aug 12, 2011 by MDK
	Gossip (Preview) Just wondering ... I have a program friend that I love and respect. However, I have overheard her gossiping with other program friends from time to time. I feel uncomfortable about this. I've never participated in the gossip, and I'm not really sure what to do - if anything. My sponsor says that if...	White Rabbit	8	577	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	updates (Preview) Well last week my husband didn't show up for work on time and got suspended from work for 3 days. This is not the first time and if history repeats itself it will not be the last. Instead of worrying or getting mad I just kept my mouth shut and said I hate that for you maybe you need a little break. Well as it tur...	MDK	5	463	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New Member Looking for Advice on a Family Situation (Preview) Hi, I am the husband of an alcoholic. My wife has struggled and been in and out of rehabs for the past several years. We have 4 young children at home, and her struggles have taken a toll on all of us. She just got back from a 2 month stay at her sister's out of town (her sister is in AA and it was a place where my wi...	a_c_s	12	607	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Asking roommate to move out (Preview) Well, I am having a really good opportunity to practice all my alanon lessons. Tonight, I have asked my roommate to move out. We are friends, and that has made it especially hard for me. As I have started to seriously work through my recovery from these issues of alcoholism, addiction, and dysfunction...	Doozy	4	754	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Health (Preview) I am a pretty healthy person, generally. Nothing is usually physiologically wrong with me, I have some mental things like PTSD (anxiety, panic attacks, depression) and I have worked on that a lot. Now I found out that what the doctor thought was carpal tunnel is actually arthritis of the wrists and...	youfoundme	13	803	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	scared (Preview) Hi my name is Liz, i'm eighteen and i've been living with an alcoholic all of my life. I used to be be very angry with him, he would fly off the handle for no reason, pit my mom against me, say mean things. We would always go back and forth. As I got older, he started grounding me for innapropriate things, on ho...	kandikween	9	2419	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	more thoughts on healthy detachment please (Preview) Hi I have read and read and read. In fact if my boss knew how much I have sat on here and read, I would be sacked... that would give me more time to read though hey. Healthy detachment.. some of things I have read have given me cause to question my belief of what this may look like. I was self taught to walk away...	Lindaoakford	22	534	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.