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Something to celebrate tonight! Program in action.
(Preview)
I had two dinner/neighborhood things to go to this evening. The first one I was dreading all day because I've been so focused on my alanon program and I often feel socially akward, and really seeing my chronic low self esteem etc. At times I'm convinced that I'm just a weirdo and too intense f...
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GreenK
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9
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347
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MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING
(Preview)
I am unable honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting for tomorrow morning, August 15, as I will be out of town. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair the meeting in my absence.
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shimo
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0
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204
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Have I shared ok that you underestand me?
(Preview)
Many of you know my past. Death of first husband, second is seriously insane. All my family has passed cept my two kids. Most my friends have passed.Lost everything due to ex Ah's disease. I mean material things. I am very close to the creator. Anyway Jerry helped me thru some grieving times. Now it hit...
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Debilyn
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13
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583
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Working it
(Preview)
Good afternoon everyone, For close to two weeks now my husband and I have been spending more time together, communicating better, and staying out of each other's programs. In the last couple of days, however, I have observed that he seems much more intense, less patient, frustrated, even very angr...
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KLotus
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4
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620
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finding time...
(Preview)
Hello everyone.
I was hoping to get some ideas on how to find the time to go to meetings and work on my recovery. I work from 6:30am to 6pm Monday thru Friday (commute time included in that) I get home and my A goes to night school. I have enough time to feed and bathe my kids, spend a little time with them and i...
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dragonflys
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8
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787
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New here ~ long suffering wife of an alcohol dependant husbang
(Preview)
My husband finally went to Turning point in June 2010. He went to an assessment meeting and was told he was not a priority. By December 2010 we still had not heard from them so he rang them (probably because I "nagged" him!!). On our home phone there was a message from turning point which said &...
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Passover
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8
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796
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Emotionally isolated.
(Preview)
Wonderful at last to find a online group. I wonder if there are any 'oldies' on this site. Briefly, my husband drank very heavily for the first 18/20 years of our married life....we lived in the rural area and not close to family or any support. Then suddenly I was in contact with Al-Anon. I left him...
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Too hard
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14
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1763
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I overreacting a little.
(Preview)
In response to my last post, I thought about it & came to the conclusion;after talking to an Alanon friend, that my statements were a little harsh. She lives on the same property that her mom does, and it seems to work for her. Anyhow, I have not changed my mind about having my mom stay w/ me at any time,...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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348
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Just feeling... thinking... Hurting....
(Preview)
I wish there was a "off" switch. Where did it go? I use to have one. But lately I can't find it. I want to turn off the feelings, the thinking and the hurt... I want and need some relief. I keep praying and begging God to do what He does and to do it soon... but its not happening, instead I am still stuck with m...
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John
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6
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587
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Fear...
(Preview)
Just wanted to say that I went to a much needed meeting last night--my first since my husband left 7 days ago (yup, I am counting). The topic that someone else brought up was 'fear' when living with an active A. I was so happy it was the topic because I had been dealing with it all week! Well, really for the la...
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sookie
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8
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760
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Not Judging
(Preview)
I want not to judge others. I can trace most of my feeling bad to my initial thought "why do they want to that?". Knowing why wouldn't help me. I can see my serenity vaporize. I'm asking for the experience of those of you who can bypass that judging step. How do you do it?
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Jill
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7
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798
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To MIP's Moderators
(Preview)
I have frequented other message boards from time to time, but I'm put off by the language used and the negativity. It's very comforting to know that I can come here to read, learn and share my ES&H without having to overlook any of the language that most people wouldn't use when speaking in public. M...
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GailMichelle
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6
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749
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affair
(Preview)
Hello, all. I'm new here, and have a problem. 10 years ago I married a man who has been sober for 20 years now. I obviously love him, but I recently found out he had a brief affair recently. He has ended it, and says he wants to work to make us work. He likens it to a relapse, going so far as to say he even went to me...
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zenflower
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9
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679
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Anxiety has taken over " Help"
(Preview)
Hi, I have been doing allot of reading and I can't help but feel over whelmed and anxious. The past 2 weeks have been pretty quite at home after confronting my AGF when she was sober. I tried to explain how I was feeling about our relationship, and that I wanted to start going to Al Anon meeting, I thought fo...
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ladym
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14
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622
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nagging resentment
(Preview)
My 15 year old and I have been pretty adversarial lately, which isn't all that unusual between a teen and his parent. It's just that he is sickly sweet to my EAW (Estranged Alcoholic Wife), he calls her 3-4 times a day, fawns all over her whenever she's around. He treats me like a leper while she can't do...
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DadtoCandE
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6
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535
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Day 3 (my yesterday, your Friday today)
(Preview)
Confusing with this time gap. Its 8am Saturday morning here. Day 3 was Friday. I didn't feel so elated about it. Day 3 was a bit harder than 2. All day I was wondering if he would smoke, if he did, would he tell me, he didn't lie to me yesterday but he didn't tell me either, I asked... what now what now??? A...
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Lindaoakford
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9
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600
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Encouragement Share :)
(Preview)
This week it seems like lots of us are having issues with seeing how far we've really come, and I just wanted to share my AHA moment .. lol. Kats post got me thinking about my house and the fact I've been acting out in a different way. I need to see some outside changes, no blonde hair for me this time around...
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Pushka
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9
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679
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whatever; MOM again!
(Preview)
Again I have a MOM issue; last night w/o saying anything to me @ a meeting my mom said that when she sells her house, that she is moving in w/ my husband! whatever! I know she meant both of us & that is out of the question! I wasn't at the meeting but I am floored & very frustrated by her saying anything...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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596
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I need to break up with my RA boyfriend.
(Preview)
I need to break up with my recovering alcoholic boyfriend but I'm scared to. I keep hoping a "light bulb" will come on in his brain that says,"Oh I get it now. I'm being a total jerk with no compassion, empathy, or remorse when I yell at her, belittle her, curse at her, hang up on her and bla...
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tropics4
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10
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1021
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Interesting Developments
(Preview)
Well, I just had an extremely interesting conversation with my A. I mean it was pretty deep considering where we have been at and how little he likes to share on that level with anyone. Plus he even called me from work and I'm really in awe over that. When he calls it's never to talk deep it's always to see...
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Pushka
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3
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367
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WHY!
(Preview)
Today is my Daughters10th Birthday and I can not call her or see her. It seems my Wife Therapist believes it best for me to have contact with her when my wife returns for Rehab in Florida at the Florida House. This has been the toughest, most challanging, and most heart ripping experience of my entire lif...
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plsellars
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7
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779
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Role reversal..hmmm
(Preview)
Now that I'm not fighting and nagging it seems my husband wants to do it. For the past two months I have been doing really good. I do not fight, argue, give attitude. When my AH is talking too much and annoying me, I'll listen for a minute, nod my head and say I understand, then say I have to use the bathroom or...
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odalis
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4
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567
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So my wife is an alcoholic....
(Preview)
My wife has been dry for 30 days today!! Thank God!! She is more patient with the kids, helps out around the house, even offered to make dinner for the first time in forever the other night. I have read some of the big book as well as "Everything Changes". Im doing my best at supporting her....
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gojojo
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9
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1026
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Infidelity
(Preview)
Never ever thought I would be posting this type of question. I am becoming suspicious that my AH might be having an affair, she lives far away so I don't think it's physical but I think texts are involved and I found some photos today on our computer that would only be used for one thing in my opinion. I am SP...
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surfgirl123
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15
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1324
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consumed with thoughts
(Preview)
As I've written before, I have been split with the father of my child for about a year and a half. He is now seeing someone. And all the sudden I'm feeling sad and wanting to have my family back in tact. I miss him, our friendship and his love. But I fended him off for a year and a half. I told him it wouldn't wor...
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lovee
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6
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619
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Nervous ....
(Preview)
In a good way, I'm taking a huge leap of faith and I'm going to ask someone at the Sunday meeting to be my sponsor. I really like their shares and they weren't even on my list, then I had an epithany (thanks to a newer member God love them) and big giant DUH moment for me. There's a reason I have been waiting a...
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Pushka
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6
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335
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Need help from experienced group members re dealing with disruptive, rageful member
(Preview)
This question is for folks with experience attending in-person afg meetings. A particular person that attends meetings in our town has an extreme rage problem. The person has many years in program, yet persists in trying to control meetings , pointing fingers (literally and figuratively) and oth...
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lostnortherner
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5
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1762
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The courage to change the things I can...
(Preview)
I have a boss (who I shall call "G") who scares the crap out of me. He's critical of everything, never gives praise, and often doesn't acknowledge that you've said something, leaving you wondering if he's distracted and you should bring it up again later or if he already knows, has decided t...
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atheos
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3
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359
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big family event
(Preview)
I just got back from spending 10 days with my family of origin, because of my niece's wedding. My sister and I have had many conflicts about who should have responsibility for our disabled mother, and I was determined not to ruin this wedding by fighting. I got through everything perfectly, until the e...
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ifa
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11
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706
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Is it normal to feel depressed when focusing on self
(Preview)
I've been working really hard to focus on myself, and not my AH for the past 2 weeks. Even been staying at work or running errands at lunch so I don't have to go home and see him and risk getting into a fight. But today I feel really sad and lonely. I did my thing at home last night, which means watching my T...
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oldgraduate
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5
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321
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If what they're doing is lying...
(Preview)
What they're feeling is fear. That awareness came from a long program journey plus working as a counselor in a large Rehab Hospital and working with Alternatives to Violence men. Lying or avoiding the truth comes from the fear of being found out and/or wanting to take the pressure off by not measuri...
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Jerry F
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11
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788
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Today was a good day...
(Preview)
Today I had a quiet day at work and I felt ok. My fiance drank last night, and when I picked him up from work, I knew it. It was 11pm. I didn't react. I kept remembering what I have learned here and am learning from my sponsor... I remained calm. We came home and went to bed. He wasn't terribly drunk, no...
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youfoundme
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9
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444
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Gossip
(Preview)
Just wondering ... I have a program friend that I love and respect. However, I have overheard her gossiping with other program friends from time to time. I feel uncomfortable about this. I've never participated in the gossip, and I'm not really sure what to do - if anything. My sponsor says that if...
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White Rabbit
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8
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570
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updates
(Preview)
Well last week my husband didn't show up for work on time and got suspended from work for 3 days. This is not the first time and if history repeats itself it will not be the last. Instead of worrying or getting mad I just kept my mouth shut and said I hate that for you maybe you need a little break. Well as it tur...
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MDK
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5
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450
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New Member Looking for Advice on a Family Situation
(Preview)
Hi, I am the husband of an alcoholic. My wife has struggled and been in and out of rehabs for the past several years. We have 4 young children at home, and her struggles have taken a toll on all of us. She just got back from a 2 month stay at her sister's out of town (her sister is in AA and it was a place where my wi...
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a_c_s
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12
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587
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Asking roommate to move out
(Preview)
Well, I am having a really good opportunity to practice all my alanon lessons. Tonight, I have asked my roommate to move out. We are friends, and that has made it especially hard for me. As I have started to seriously work through my recovery from these issues of alcoholism, addiction, and dysfunction...
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Doozy
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4
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735
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Health
(Preview)
I am a pretty healthy person, generally. Nothing is usually physiologically wrong with me, I have some mental things like PTSD (anxiety, panic attacks, depression) and I have worked on that a lot. Now I found out that what the doctor thought was carpal tunnel is actually arthritis of the wrists and...
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youfoundme
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13
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785
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scared
(Preview)
Hi my name is Liz, i'm eighteen and i've been living with an alcoholic all of my life. I used to be be very angry with him, he would fly off the handle for no reason, pit my mom against me, say mean things. We would always go back and forth. As I got older, he started grounding me for innapropriate things, on ho...
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kandikween
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9
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2240
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more thoughts on healthy detachment please
(Preview)
Hi I have read and read and read. In fact if my boss knew how much I have sat on here and read, I would be sacked... that would give me more time to read though hey. Healthy detachment.. some of things I have read have given me cause to question my belief of what this may look like. I was self taught to walk away...
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Lindaoakford
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22
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518
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Exercised my will and...
(Preview)
now have another urn with my ashes in it. I asked the question what are you feeling? and should not have. Had a fleeting opportunity to remember the past and to grab a hold of detachement and didn't. I did the samething again that I did in the past and got the same outcome. Does an asprin cure insanity...
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Jerry F
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8
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398
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I've slipped as many times as my A hubby..
(Preview)
Blast from the past, I've slipped so many times in my recovery. I've read some of my past posts and I see how much of my own roller coaster of recovery has been. I need to get help. I wanna be that girl I was in some of my old posts. I'm at square 1 again.
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Sincerely
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6
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309
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things do change
(Preview)
Well nothing stays the same, thank God! I have come to the message board almost everday for a month or two. I have not have time to read or go to a F2F meeting. Listening to all of you and trying to respond and write my own share, has really helped. I am feeling calmer, less flat, and more positive. My As...
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Lyne
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5
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416
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Poetry...art...an outlet
(Preview)
-- Edited by youfoundme on Thursday 11th of August 2011 02:57:01 PM -- Edited by youfoundme on Thursday 11th of August 2011 09:22:59 PM
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youfoundme
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2
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272
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Please keep us in your thoughts
(Preview)
Hi Those who know me on these boards know I have been married to AH for 39 years (+7 months). He has been alcohol dependant for last 6 or so years and his health has been seriously declining for the last 2 years. He is now in hospital for the last time. His liver has all but ceased functioning and his lungs are...
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Tattyhead
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14
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438
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I'm late I'm late
(Preview)
for a very important date .. lol .. I feel like the white rabbit from Alice and Wonderland!! Have a wonderful night all, Hugs P :)
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Pushka
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1
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335
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Day 2 - how it finished up (all my posts are long)
(Preview)
Hi I feel a bit like I am writing a novel here but I just had to tell you guys about yesterday. If you have been following my posts (which I know some have) you may remember that I was feeling anxious about not checking up on him, and I sat and talked to the 'dope drawer'. In the afternoon, I was actually scare...
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Lindaoakford
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5
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371
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Books On Order
(Preview)
My books are on order, Courage to Change, One Day at a Time and Getting them Sober. They are due to arrive next Monday. My 2nd ever meeting is tonight and I am looking forward to it. The Afiance and I had a pretty good week. I am not sure if he actually drank on Monday or really went to dinner and the AA meet...
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NovSun
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8
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457
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Feeling Stupid
(Preview)
Just a ball of emotions today. I feel like I can't win. I feel stupid for looking the other way when my Afiance is right there in front of me, acting intoxicated. Like I am just oblivious to what is going on in my life, in MY house. Then, I get angry and feel like I have to prove I am right by checking phone re...
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NovSun
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8
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486
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When I don't know what else to do... I wash my dogs!
(Preview)
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John
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5
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389
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tags
(Preview)
Hello, can someone tell me what those little tag and thread things are on my posts and how do I get rid of them? Thank you. Anne
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Anne01
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2
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342
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who am I
(Preview)
Has anyone ever heard an alcoholic say they don't know who they are after they stop drinking? Anne
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Anne01
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8
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355
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help for Sunday
(Preview)
HI all, Now that I know what ESH means, that is what I am asking for. My husband smokes pot when he goes fishing. A fact I accepted a while ago. Previously he asked me to go fishing with him and I said, not if you intend to smoke, no. If you wont' have a smoke, I will go, if you want to smoke, pick someone else...
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Lindaoakford
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5
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456
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One Day At A Time...
(Preview)
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John
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0
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248
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it suddenly occured to me...
(Preview)
I always have something rolling around in my head and what better place to give it a voice than this message board? Isn't it weird how ideas just hit you out of the blue? Well, I didn't get to go to the morning meeting and I am sitting here irritated as hell as the double standards people have. I KNOW I have n...
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seekingserenity
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2
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323
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I Can't Go To a Meeting Tonight
(Preview)
[video=]Well, I'm a little frustrated this evening. Tuesdays are my Al-Anon meeting nights. I had to stay home because I *think* I have a cold - sneezing and runny nose. Meds are doing the trick, except make me feel a bit whacked. That is I feel I'm in fog in terms of my ability to think! So.............
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GailMichelle
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6
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330
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Could use some positive vibes...
(Preview)
Bond hearing is tomorrow. Have no clue whatsoever how the judge will rule. Saw ABF tonight. REALLY excited for him to come home....but scared to death at the same time. The last few conversations we've had, HE has brought up his recovery quite a bit. He's asked me to print off a list of the local AA me...
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ELEKTRAWMN
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10
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505
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kitty is still on the mend!
(Preview)
my kitty is doing so much better every day! she is responding to my husband--she still won't let me pet her but I am giving it some time! To all you cat lover's out there: keep loving them & giving them attention; like my hubby says they will love you back! He sure loves this cat & if anything happen...
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Hoot Nanny
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7
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338
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Every day is new - who figured?
(Preview)
After the horrible weekend, wherein I fought with my AH and ended up feeling so down on myself, yesterday went really well. I went home to a happy AH, who was cooking dinner and even invited me to sit with him and watch a movie. I almost fell into the trap of thinking, he wants me to stay right here while he...
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oldgraduate
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7
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472
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I'm so grateful for Alanon, went to my first meeting today, and met local lady too...
(Preview)
Hi, thankyou for being there for me, I hope that others who are seeking help find the support of Alanon too. I finally met and had coffee this week with my local Alanon lady who has supported me over the phone for a couple of months. Tomorrow I will meet another local lady who has also reached out to Al...
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Brooke
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6
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289
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Saying nothing the next day just feels so wrong....
(Preview)
When I got home from my Al Anon meeting last night, my wife was impaired. I didn't stick around for long to see just how bad it was--just went right to bed to read. This morning, there's no acknowledgement of what happened the night before from either of us. We just talk about the weather or the kids or abou...
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usedtobeanyer
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19
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919
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