Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

When my AH started drinking many years ago, the fears, concerns, worries, enabling, checking up, following, nervousness, sleeplessness and anxiety became my way of life. Many meetings didn't change anything. I read the books - they made sense. I understand the whole theory of detachment, ho...

heartbrokenNYC · heartbrokenNYC

Trying to find an Al-Anon group nearby and where I can go after work, is just so difficult. My partner keeps coming up with excuses, non stop, on his pursuit to trying to find a rehab place. Each time he finds something wrong, or can't afford to go. I just don't know what to do anymore, and honestly, I stopp...

Pushka · Pushka

I have been doing a LOT of thinking about where I was at a year ago especially this week. It was my birthday on Wednesday and then yesterday being thanksgiving I really just had some time to get inside my own head. Which it was a good thing I didn't have to go there alone and I was grateful so very much for th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I went to my boyfriends family Thanksgiving event and met a bunch of his people. They were great and sweet and I had a great time. I have been very cautious, leery and untrusting the last 5 months. I have blown things out of proportion and created crisis when it was not needed. I have had to face myself aga...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Hi, Im Dave, Im an alcoholic who grew up in a active dysfunctional alcoholic home. After 22 years sober, Ive been struggling (I think needlessly) with the spiritual side of the program and recently started reading some ACA books seeking the answer, and it appears Ive got it, somewhat. At least, I can r...

Desi · Desi

I have been with my fiancé for 3 years. He is an addict and we have broken up 3 times briefly throughout our relationship. Each time he comes back promising to quit and change. After we are back together for about a month he begins to act the same and the cycle repeats. He usually hides his addiction for abo...

Afraidparent · Afraidparent

I just want to say how glad I am that I found this site. I'm also so thankful for each and every post on this site. I am very new to that Al Anon world though not new to alcoholism and its effects on the family. I have sought out help now that I have an AD ( it took me a couple of days to know what the letters stan...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As I usually do, I posted a bunch of quotes on Facebook today. It feels good to send inspirational thoughts on there as well as on here. I really like the mantra do unto others as you would have done to you. It is not a cliche. I have been realizing just how much people mean to me. And, as I heard on TV, yes there...

Oksie · Oksie

HI guys Sorry I have been gone for so long. Not sure if Iwill be spending too much future time on the boards. As some of you may remember me, I went away on a holiday to the UK/Europe for 5 weeks. It went well (we will just forget Amsterdam for amoment). We got back to Australia and my parents, who flew up to o...

rehprof · rehprof

No really, I'm asking that question of myself far too much. So...I'm home alone...going over and over this breakup and that date...and wondering why no guys are interested in a relationship with me... it HAS to be something wrong with ME, right? Honestly, I don't know what it is...I am smart, funny, r...

Dana1205 · Dana1205

Hubby just came home from a rehab working on the trust factor and trying to finger out how to behave and or act,very anxious and just it all to work out

learning · learning

A schoolmate of my kids drove from a neighboring state yesterday to see old friends. This morning on a social network she posted she is ready to go back. She is VERY disappointed at how much alot of these people have changed. My kids for the most part had went all but 2 yrs. to this school in a neighborin...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Funny I come here sometimes, start a post and delete it. Not sure why I'm just weird that way. Maybe this one too? As the weeks pass since I called it totally over with the exABF the real person is surfacing. He put on a good show for 10 months. He really and truly is a sweet guy but as we here all know that'...

kweb · kweb

I came across this group on the internet. I need help. I have been with this man for 8 months and the lies about getting help are just that.. lies.. I dont want to enable any more. I love him, but how do I do this 'tough love' deal. I even thought of admitting myself into the mental hosptial just to get normal....

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I knew this would start. My son now called me telling me he can't drive because his battery is dead. He said he had a appointment with the counselor today...SUNDAY??? ... right. I just said I'm sorry but I can't help because I don't want it all to start again. He asked what I was talking about trying to ge...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Be a good listener. the secret of being interesting is to be interested. You can't start the new chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one. Move on. All you need to know in life is what you learned in kindergarten. God only gives you as much as you can handle, if you can't handle something, he...

daisy31 · daisy31

There is all this talk about the energy shifts happening and 11/11 and then 12/12 and 12/25 and it is freaking me out. Has anyone heard about it? I do feel like it may actually be real. I am working on step 4 and trying to do all of this stuff and then all of these people are talking about the energy shifts t...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

There are many suffering codependents and adult children in AA. I believe it is these issues that caused Bill Wilson to suffer with depression for the rest of his life. He did not have the support of other fellowships. I don't think he ever thought of joinging Alanon - and Alanon slept right next to him e...

Umutlu · Umutlu

So here it is, another evening of him drinking. Not a ranging drunk, just the usual buzz on. We had a nice day together today, but it seems the evenings are always the same - he needs to drink. Part of me wants to talk about this with him, when he's sober. But I know, in reality, it probably wouldn't make any...

Looking for peace · Looking for peace

I have been with my husband for 20 years and he has always been a drinker. Functioning alcoholic for most of those Years. After his mother died- 11 years ago- it seems his depression took over and he stopped being functioning. That was over 10 years ago. He hit what I thought was bottom last year and went t...

bryteyes · bryteyes

Hes 32 days sober and hes doing great but all of a sudden got a huge attitude and started blaming me for everything. I understand hes going to be irritable but I dont understand why he has to b so mean to me. When does it get easier and what should I do to help him? Does NA beer really help?

Minnehaha · Minnehaha

Thank you everyone for your wise replies. She didn't show up and no one even mentioned it. My son's girlfriend posted a picture on Facebook of him hugging two little girls belonging to a friend that they had dinner with. The picture was posted with the caption "family." I wrote back and...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well I had my son over for Thanksgiving and he was sober. Little shaky but OK. We had a great time together and spend two days talking about everything and anything but him getting well. He helped me with dinner and it was so nice. I had to pick him up and take him home afterwards. While at his place I co...

Jill · Jill

Today I love the life I have. How about that? Thank you all for your wisdom and everlasting patience. I am the daughter and exwife of alcoholics. Slowly I got better. Today is a good one. So thankful!

Lyne · Lyne

I know I need alot of help because occassionally I can do it - detach with love- but otherwise I am angry, sad or numb, like today. My A spouse is on her best behavior today. We had one of those great talks where it wasn't fighting, I stayed calm, she heard me, and she wants to try. Today she is calling me ev...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I need slogans for my wall. I have a bunch, but I know there are more out there. Anyone with slogans please share them with me. Thanks and happy turkey day to all! Here is what I have on my wall now, Any new ones out there? "Place me where you want me and tell me what to do". You didn't Cause it, you ca...

chinup · chinup

my mother just passed away at 2:40 pm today she has been through 13 yrs dialisis and lots of surgeries,she suffered long,im happy for her but im sad for me for im gonna miss that woman,she was truely the best mom anyone would wantbut i was finnaly able and had to let her go,now for me time to reroute my life m...

Carlisle · Carlisle

I'm looking for help I'm so lost and alone atm, my hub drinks every weekend to the point he can't talk in the morning, he stays up all night drinking and on the computer. Over the 13 yrs I have learnt to stay out the way and to not say anting that will upset him. I have talked to him when he is sober on how I feel an...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I know and remember a time when that love wish would make me sick and I'd want to leave the room and then in the same memory I would also remember finding the Al-Anon Family Groups and the promise of peace of mind and serenity. I learned about choices especially the choices to choose the Opposites. Whil...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Thanksgiving was a great holiday for us. We celebrated w/ just each other. It was meant to be that way I think. Mom is in CA w/ all my family. I am missing them but oh well...the difficulties of living up here 900 miles away. I guess it will always be that way & has been for 18 years. We spent a lot of the tim...

cinders · cinders

I was so afraid that Thanksgiving would be hard as it was the first holiday since I moved out. I started out very angry, wrote a scathing email to my AH and deleted it. After that, I felt much better and was able to sleep a restful sleep (work nights so the end of my day was the start of Thanksgiving). When...

rehprof · rehprof

Don't worry, I am not a violent woman. But today, when my exA drove off with my kids (yes they decided they would go with him for one overnight)...he lit a cigarette....oooh ...makes me LOCO! Both my kids now have asthma (diagnoses came about the same time he took up smoking again)...and I have asked him...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Getting in the way of another persons' growth and getting in the way of our own growth. We can't save the alcoholic, folks. I have to stop getting in the way of their fall, stop giving them someone to blame and look at my own motives. What do I want for myself? Same thing: security. Except i no longer want i...

jane99 · jane99

after a relapse - after 2 years clean- my alcoholic partner broke up with me. When i tried to talk about his relapse he says his addiction/recovery/relapses are nothing to do with me. we were together 6 years and have a 2 year old. Is this a normal attitude?

Pushka · Pushka

Big giant hugs to my alanon MIP family out there and no matter where you are and who you are celebrating today with have a very happy Thanksgiving Day today!!! Hugs P :)

Debilyn · Debilyn

Friends say, take it slllloooooow. Ok what does that mean? To a researcher like me curious as heck, it is not defineable to me. I am loving my relationship with my best friend growing into an us. Since he is 2000 miles away, our "dates" are when he is driving to work for 3 hours then driving back...

tortuga · tortuga

.... at least here in MiP. I can't still talk lik ethat openly about my disease, in fear of being taken for a sick person.... and yes I am a sick person, in lack of attention, craving for affection...and all the posts I read on here, I can so well identify with. the big hole inside....my behaviour is scarin...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Even though my mother never found Alanon, she seemed very good at practicing principles of detachment and taking it odaat. One day shared with me that her friend always said one day at a time to her. I later learned that her friend was divorced from an alcoholic. I told my mother that one day at a time wa...

Cherubhmm · Cherubhmm

It's a while since I last posted about the abuse and rages I get from my alcoholic partner. I took to heart the advice I was given. The abuse continues for me. If I walk away I'm followed so it can continue. If I don't react and keep quiet it gets louder. Yesterday I went for a walk, came back and couldn't find...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So, having a little moment here. Yesterday I get home and the AW is in the living room sorting through some packages she got. She asked for my help and I go in there. I see a coffee tumbler on the coffee table and ask why that was in there. I get no reply. I wait about a minute or so and ask again and she repl...

cinders · cinders

I have been reading the posts on here for a long time, taking in your thoughts and applying it to my life the best I could. To start with a bit of back story, married to an active drinker for almost 7 years now, have been together for 10. His drinking had increased greatly over the last several years, but in...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

All my life I've felt this hole inside me. An emotional hole, like feelings,especially positive ones are missing. I've realized that even though there are complaints I have about life that are legitimate, nothing really would keep me happy. I have to typical acoa issues of feeling like I'm not en...

oldergal · oldergal

Addiction is such a horrible, awful, life stealing disease...., the people who are effected can't see from the outside and look in. They are so wrapped up in their disease that they don't see you on the sidelines trying to help them. It's so, so heartbreaking that all these great people who were once i...

laj · laj

This question is about co-dependency I suppose. Is it a good idea to clean up the mess your addicted loved one/family member leaves behind once they are in a rehab facility? Especially if it is the home of the addict alone- is there wisdom in waiting for the recovering addict to return so they can see the...

Zimmy · Zimmy

Im sending this this way as its easier than trying to text it on my phone.Mick I love you like no other you are my soulmate, but I am so scared that the alcohol is beating you and that you will end up ill and eventually die..untreated alcoholism kills and that is my biggest fear. I am so angry that the disease...

jane99 · jane99

can anyone explain the emotions that an addict goes through after a relapse?

Minnehaha · Minnehaha

Hello, My adult daughter has struggled with substance abuse for 26 years, on and off. She recently graduated from and inpatient program and was doing well. She got an apartment, a job, and is out on her own. After about a year she confessed she was drinking again. She stopped coming to family event...

eudaimonia · eudaimonia

Hi, I am new to this forum. I've been wanting to join group therapy or an online community because my boyfriend is a drug addict in remission for over a year now. When I met him, he was taking methadone for a former drug habit to heroin. After 5 months of our dating he decided he wanted to kick the methado...

rehprof · rehprof

Yesterday the ex came by to pick up the boys (16 and 10). The 16yo was stalling, kept on the computer, and ex was like "Okay, I'm leaving without you!" It was tense. He tried to talk to 16 yo...asked him to come with him so they could talk. Son refused. Then, 10yo doesn't like to ex's house withou...

jane99 · jane99

hi, i'm new to this but could do with some help. i've been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 6 years and he's been in recovery for almost the last 2 of those. We have a 2 year old. Our relationship has always been a bit on/off, mostly related to his drinking. He stopped going to meetings a couple of mont...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Starting my own. 1. Thankful I will not be going through the holidays wondering about A friend - better to be totally out of his life and the lifting of that burden is great. 2. Thankful that the doctors feel they got all my mom's breast cancer out, none of the lymph nodes had any cancer in them, a few long w...

laj · laj

This question is about co-dependency I suppose. Is it a good idea to clean up the mess your addicted loved one/family member leaves behind once they are in a rehab facility? Especially if it is the home of the addict alone- is there wisdom in waiting for the recovering addict to return so they can see the...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp.. Ya know.. Last November for me was just UCK! And since Loosing my Afather to this Disease in 2008, Novemeber for me has been my "Ism" month... Tomorrow My Afather would be 63, and to think I will never know him older then 58 at times breaks my heart! I often remember my Afather before th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

that's what all the people say...Riding high in April; shot down in May..." Remember that tune and the lyrics? It really is fact. I'm living it right now and don't have many complaints while I'm still keeping "my" program as close to "thee" program as I can so the highs...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Thinking back to last Thanksgiving- what was supposed to be a lovely family vacation in the NC mountains turned into the most horrible 5 days of my life due to my AH ruining the entire trip. Fast forward to now, I will be spending thanksgiving at my cousins with my mother and sister and am actually lookin...

Still in Surrender Mode · Still in Surrender Mode

Thanks to everyone who posted. It reminds me of who I am and what I need to be doing. The verbal and physical abuse is worse lately. More so since I stopped buying into the situation. He wants me to engage. You all reminded me -- detatch with love. Pray. Take MY inventory - not his. Thanks & God bless. Wi...

Pushka · Pushka

It's interesting because I am in a situation in which I could completely utilize my will and I know doing this always works out so not fun. So I am very frustrated at the moment with the whole don't just do something sit there ideology. I'm ok with God sending a big lightening bolt and striking my STBAX o...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I used to think I was a really empathic person. I could identify with people who had problems so well and could almost feel what they were feeling. I also would spiral into a whole circle of emotions about how unfair life was and how I felt I had been given a bad deal. I certainly (even though I have a pract...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi All I have been in counselling and Al-anon for a little while now. Also have not talk to my son in 4 week trying to get well. This morning he texted me asking to come up for Thanksgiving and I said yes...would love him to come. Now I may have made a mistake. I want dearly to see my son but I don't want to ge...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am hoping that Thanksgiving will go w/o a glitch. It will be just me & my husband like I mentioned before. I think my mom wants to spend time w/ those in my family who don't regularly see her "true" self & soak up the spoiling she gets when she goes down there. Just saying... I will rem...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Shadow of Former Self (Preview) When my AH started drinking many years ago, the fears, concerns, worries, enabling, checking up, following, nervousness, sleeplessness and anxiety became my way of life. Many meetings didn't change anything. I read the books - they made sense. I understand the whole theory of detachment, ho...	wifeofalcoholic	1	432	Nov 27, 2012 by hotrod
	heartbroken and lost (Preview) Trying to find an Al-Anon group nearby and where I can go after work, is just so difficult. My partner keeps coming up with excuses, non stop, on his pursuit to trying to find a rehab place. Each time he finds something wrong, or can't afford to go. I just don't know what to do anymore, and honestly, I stopp...	heartbrokenNYC	8	502	Nov 27, 2012 by wifeofalcoholic
	Kind of cool :) (Preview) I have been doing a LOT of thinking about where I was at a year ago especially this week. It was my birthday on Wednesday and then yesterday being thanksgiving I really just had some time to get inside my own head. Which it was a good thing I didn't have to go there alone and I was grateful so very much for th...	Pushka	5	437	Nov 27, 2012 by Pushka
	Finally able to flow into a relationship (Preview) I went to my boyfriends family Thanksgiving event and met a bunch of his people. They were great and sweet and I had a great time. I have been very cautious, leery and untrusting the last 5 months. I have blown things out of proportion and created crisis when it was not needed. I have had to face myself aga...	Breakingfree	3	348	Nov 27, 2012 by Pushka
	Intro (Preview) Hi, Im Dave, Im an alcoholic who grew up in a active dysfunctional alcoholic home. After 22 years sober, Ive been struggling (I think needlessly) with the spiritual side of the program and recently started reading some ACA books seeking the answer, and it appears Ive got it, somewhat. At least, I can r...	AlAnonDave	8	448	Nov 27, 2012 by Pushka
	Help with an addict pls (Preview) I have been with my fiancé for 3 years. He is an addict and we have broken up 3 times briefly throughout our relationship. Each time he comes back promising to quit and change. After we are back together for about a month he begins to act the same and the cycle repeats. He usually hides his addiction for abo...	Desi	13	580	Nov 27, 2012 by Desi
	Thank you for the posts (Preview) I just want to say how glad I am that I found this site. I'm also so thankful for each and every post on this site. I am very new to that Al Anon world though not new to alcoholism and its effects on the family. I have sought out help now that I have an AD ( it took me a couple of days to know what the letters stan...	Afraidparent	4	441	Nov 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	be nice to others they will be nice to you! (Preview) As I usually do, I posted a bunch of quotes on Facebook today. It feels good to send inspirational thoughts on there as well as on here. I really like the mantra do unto others as you would have done to you. It is not a cliche. I have been realizing just how much people mean to me. And, as I heard on TV, yes there...	Hoot Nanny	1	336	Nov 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	husband hospitalised (Preview) HI guys Sorry I have been gone for so long. Not sure if Iwill be spending too much future time on the boards. As some of you may remember me, I went away on a holiday to the UK/Europe for 5 weeks. It went well (we will just forget Amsterdam for amoment). We got back to Australia and my parents, who flew up to o...	Oksie	10	536	Nov 27, 2012 by Oksie
	What's wrong with me? (Preview) No really, I'm asking that question of myself far too much. So...I'm home alone...going over and over this breakup and that date...and wondering why no guys are interested in a relationship with me... it HAS to be something wrong with ME, right? Honestly, I don't know what it is...I am smart, funny, r...	rehprof	17	654	Nov 27, 2012 by Auntyaya
	New to group (Preview) Hubby just came home from a rehab working on the trust factor and trying to finger out how to behave and or act,very anxious and just it all to work out	Dana1205	3	335	Nov 27, 2012 by Bettina
	Just saying :( (Preview) A schoolmate of my kids drove from a neighboring state yesterday to see old friends. This morning on a social network she posted she is ready to go back. She is VERY disappointed at how much alot of these people have changed. My kids for the most part had went all but 2 yrs. to this school in a neighborin...	learning	3	355	Nov 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	When reality hits (Preview) Funny I come here sometimes, start a post and delete it. Not sure why I'm just weird that way. Maybe this one too? As the weeks pass since I called it totally over with the exABF the real person is surfacing. He put on a good show for 10 months. He really and truly is a sweet guy but as we here all know that'...	AStrongerMe	5	572	Nov 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	New to this group (Preview) I came across this group on the internet. I need help. I have been with this man for 8 months and the lies about getting help are just that.. lies.. I dont want to enable any more. I love him, but how do I do this 'tough love' deal. I even thought of admitting myself into the mental hosptial just to get normal....	kweb	4	416	Nov 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	I'm needing my HP more than ever today (Preview) I knew this would start. My son now called me telling me he can't drive because his battery is dead. He said he had a appointment with the counselor today...SUNDAY??? ... right. I just said I'm sorry but I can't help because I don't want it all to start again. He asked what I was talking about trying to ge...	Cathyinaz	4	511	Nov 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	quotes (Preview) Be a good listener. the secret of being interesting is to be interested. You can't start the new chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one. Move on. All you need to know in life is what you learned in kindergarten. God only gives you as much as you can handle, if you can't handle something, he...	Hoot Nanny	2	278	Nov 26, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Really freaked out (Preview) There is all this talk about the energy shifts happening and 11/11 and then 12/12 and 12/25 and it is freaking me out. Has anyone heard about it? I do feel like it may actually be real. I am working on step 4 and trying to do all of this stuff and then all of these people are talking about the energy shifts t...	daisy31	10	487	Nov 26, 2012 by AlAnonDave
	The Suffering Alanon-Qualified in AA (Preview) There are many suffering codependents and adult children in AA. I believe it is these issues that caused Bill Wilson to suffer with depression for the rest of his life. He did not have the support of other fellowships. I don't think he ever thought of joinging Alanon - and Alanon slept right next to him e...	WorkingThroughIt	7	532	Nov 26, 2012 by AlAnonDave
	Its not fair! (Preview) So here it is, another evening of him drinking. Not a ranging drunk, just the usual buzz on. We had a nice day together today, but it seems the evenings are always the same - he needs to drink. Part of me wants to talk about this with him, when he's sober. But I know, in reality, it probably wouldn't make any...	Umutlu	5	438	Nov 26, 2012 by Geo
	How can I love someone while hating them so much at the same time? (Preview) I have been with my husband for 20 years and he has always been a drinker. Functioning alcoholic for most of those Years. After his mother died- 11 years ago- it seems his depression took over and he stopped being functioning. That was over 10 years ago. He hit what I thought was bottom last year and went t...	Looking for peace	11	565	Nov 26, 2012 by Looking for peace
	confused (Preview) Hes 32 days sober and hes doing great but all of a sudden got a huge attitude and started blaming me for everything. I understand hes going to be irritable but I dont understand why he has to b so mean to me. When does it get easier and what should I do to help him? Does NA beer really help?	bryteyes	8	483	Nov 26, 2012 by AlAnonDave
	? about daughter follow up (Preview) Thank you everyone for your wise replies. She didn't show up and no one even mentioned it. My son's girlfriend posted a picture on Facebook of him hugging two little girls belonging to a friend that they had dinner with. The picture was posted with the caption "family." I wrote back and...	Minnehaha	2	494	Nov 26, 2012 by Minnehaha
	My Son for Thanksgiving (Preview) Well I had my son over for Thanksgiving and he was sober. Little shaky but OK. We had a great time together and spend two days talking about everything and anything but him getting well. He helped me with dinner and it was so nice. I had to pick him up and take him home afterwards. While at his place I co...	Cathyinaz	8	466	Nov 25, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	Miracle for Today (Preview) Today I love the life I have. How about that? Thank you all for your wisdom and everlasting patience. I am the daughter and exwife of alcoholics. Slowly I got better. Today is a good one. So thankful!	Jill	6	289	Nov 25, 2012 by Pushka
	tried detaching with love (Preview) I know I need alot of help because occassionally I can do it - detach with love- but otherwise I am angry, sad or numb, like today. My A spouse is on her best behavior today. We had one of those great talks where it wasn't fighting, I stayed calm, she heard me, and she wants to try. Today she is calling me ev...	Lyne	2	565	Nov 25, 2012 by Pushka
	Al-anonfavorite slogan time again! (Preview) I need slogans for my wall. I have a bunch, but I know there are more out there. Anyone with slogans please share them with me. Thanks and happy turkey day to all! Here is what I have on my wall now, Any new ones out there? "Place me where you want me and tell me what to do". You didn't Cause it, you ca...	Breakingfree	7	1034	Nov 25, 2012 by Lyne
	lost (Preview) my mother just passed away at 2:40 pm today she has been through 13 yrs dialisis and lots of surgeries,she suffered long,im happy for her but im sad for me for im gonna miss that woman,she was truely the best mom anyone would wantbut i was finnaly able and had to let her go,now for me time to reroute my life m...	chinup	9	311	Nov 24, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Lost and alone (Preview) I'm looking for help I'm so lost and alone atm, my hub drinks every weekend to the point he can't talk in the morning, he stays up all night drinking and on the computer. Over the 13 yrs I have learnt to stay out the way and to not say anting that will upset him. I have talked to him when he is sober on how I feel an...	Carlisle	8	518	Nov 24, 2012 by Geo
	Happy Thanksgiving Family (Preview) I know and remember a time when that love wish would make me sick and I'd want to leave the room and then in the same memory I would also remember finding the Al-Anon Family Groups and the promise of peace of mind and serenity. I learned about choices especially the choices to choose the Opposites. Whil...	Jerry F	3	400	Nov 24, 2012 by Jozie
	Thanksgiving (Preview) Thanksgiving was a great holiday for us. We celebrated w/ just each other. It was meant to be that way I think. Mom is in CA w/ all my family. I am missing them but oh well...the difficulties of living up here 900 miles away. I guess it will always be that way & has been for 18 years. We spent a lot of the tim...	Hoot Nanny	3	248	Nov 24, 2012 by Jerry F
	A forward step (Preview) I was so afraid that Thanksgiving would be hard as it was the first holiday since I moved out. I started out very angry, wrote a scathing email to my AH and deleted it. After that, I felt much better and was able to sleep a restful sleep (work nights so the end of my day was the start of Thanksgiving). When...	cinders	3	271	Nov 24, 2012 by Jerry F
	One of these days...POW! (Preview) Don't worry, I am not a violent woman. But today, when my exA drove off with my kids (yes they decided they would go with him for one overnight)...he lit a cigarette....oooh ...makes me LOCO! Both my kids now have asthma (diagnoses came about the same time he took up smoking again)...and I have asked him...	rehprof	4	310	Nov 24, 2012 by Jerry F
	There are only two sins. (Preview) Getting in the way of another persons' growth and getting in the way of our own growth. We can't save the alcoholic, folks. I have to stop getting in the way of their fall, stop giving them someone to blame and look at my own motives. What do I want for myself? Same thing: security. Except i no longer want i...	WorkingThroughIt	10	892	Nov 24, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	he says his addiction is none of my business (Preview) after a relapse - after 2 years clean- my alcoholic partner broke up with me. When i tried to talk about his relapse he says his addiction/recovery/relapses are nothing to do with me. we were together 6 years and have a 2 year old. Is this a normal attitude?	jane99	9	590	Nov 23, 2012 by Mattie
	HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! (Preview) Big giant hugs to my alanon MIP family out there and no matter where you are and who you are celebrating today with have a very happy Thanksgiving Day today!!! Hugs P :)	Pushka	6	301	Nov 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Taking things as they come (Preview) Friends say, take it slllloooooow. Ok what does that mean? To a researcher like me curious as heck, it is not defineable to me. I am loving my relationship with my best friend growing into an us. Since he is 2000 miles away, our "dates" are when he is driving to work for 3 hours then driving back...	Debilyn	1	362	Nov 23, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	talking real, focussing on me and making amends.... (Preview) .... at least here in MiP. I can't still talk lik ethat openly about my disease, in fear of being taken for a sick person.... and yes I am a sick person, in lack of attention, craving for affection...and all the posts I read on here, I can so well identify with. the big hole inside....my behaviour is scarin...	tortuga	9	441	Nov 23, 2012 by tortuga
	One Day at a Time (Preview) Even though my mother never found Alanon, she seemed very good at practicing principles of detachment and taking it odaat. One day shared with me that her friend always said one day at a time to her. I later learned that her friend was divorced from an alcoholic. I told my mother that one day at a time wa...	tiredtonite	3	298	Nov 23, 2012 by Debilyn
	Life getting worse (Preview) It's a while since I last posted about the abuse and rages I get from my alcoholic partner. I took to heart the advice I was given. The abuse continues for me. If I walk away I'm followed so it can continue. If I don't react and keep quiet it gets louder. Yesterday I went for a walk, came back and couldn't find...	Cherubhmm	5	407	Nov 23, 2012 by Cherubhmm
	Dreading holiday (Preview) So, having a little moment here. Yesterday I get home and the AW is in the living room sorting through some packages she got. She asked for my help and I go in there. I see a coffee tumbler on the coffee table and ask why that was in there. I get no reply. I wait about a minute or so and ask again and she repl...	hdftby100	6	439	Nov 22, 2012 by Lyne
	Many recent changes, in need of guideance and support (Preview) I have been reading the posts on here for a long time, taking in your thoughts and applying it to my life the best I could. To start with a bit of back story, married to an active drinker for almost 7 years now, have been together for 10. His drinking had increased greatly over the last several years, but in...	cinders	3	489	Nov 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	what fills the hole inside? (Preview) All my life I've felt this hole inside me. An emotional hole, like feelings,especially positive ones are missing. I've realized that even though there are complaints I have about life that are legitimate, nothing really would keep me happy. I have to typical acoa issues of feeling like I'm not en...	mjhyankees	9	591	Nov 22, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Debilitating, Life Sucking Disease! (Preview) Addiction is such a horrible, awful, life stealing disease...., the people who are effected can't see from the outside and look in. They are so wrapped up in their disease that they don't see you on the sidelines trying to help them. It's so, so heartbreaking that all these great people who were once i...	oldergal	1	361	Nov 22, 2012 by tortuga
	Cleaning up the recovering addicts home for them? (Preview) This question is about co-dependency I suppose. Is it a good idea to clean up the mess your addicted loved one/family member leaves behind once they are in a rehab facility? Especially if it is the home of the addict alone- is there wisdom in waiting for the recovering addict to return so they can see the...	laj	5	394	Nov 22, 2012 by Mattie
	Email to the love of my life and father of my son....I HATE YOU ALCOHOLISM! trying to detach with love :( (Preview) Im sending this this way as its easier than trying to text it on my phone.Mick I love you like no other you are my soulmate, but I am so scared that the alcohol is beating you and that you will end up ill and eventually die..untreated alcoholism kills and that is my biggest fear. I am so angry that the disease...	Zimmy	4	532	Nov 21, 2012 by Jerry F
	emotions after a relapse? (Preview) can anyone explain the emotions that an addict goes through after a relapse?	jane99	5	387	Nov 21, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	? about daughter (Preview) Hello, My adult daughter has struggled with substance abuse for 26 years, on and off. She recently graduated from and inpatient program and was doing well. She got an apartment, a job, and is out on her own. After about a year she confessed she was drinking again. She stopped coming to family event...	Minnehaha	3	497	Nov 21, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	I need some advice from experienced members of this community (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum. I've been wanting to join group therapy or an online community because my boyfriend is a drug addict in remission for over a year now. When I met him, he was taking methadone for a former drug habit to heroin. After 5 months of our dating he decided he wanted to kick the methado...	eudaimonia	8	469	Nov 21, 2012 by Afraidparent
	Really Rough Afternoon (Preview) Yesterday the ex came by to pick up the boys (16 and 10). The 16yo was stalling, kept on the computer, and ex was like "Okay, I'm leaving without you!" It was tense. He tried to talk to 16 yo...asked him to come with him so they could talk. Son refused. Then, 10yo doesn't like to ex's house withou...	rehprof	15	432	Nov 21, 2012 by tiredtonite
	relapse (Preview) hi, i'm new to this but could do with some help. i've been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 6 years and he's been in recovery for almost the last 2 of those. We have a 2 year old. Our relationship has always been a bit on/off, mostly related to his drinking. He stopped going to meetings a couple of mont...	jane99	3	369	Nov 21, 2012 by canadianguy
	Need a gratitude thread (Preview) Starting my own. 1. Thankful I will not be going through the holidays wondering about A friend - better to be totally out of his life and the lifting of that burden is great. 2. Thankful that the doctors feel they got all my mom's breast cancer out, none of the lymph nodes had any cancer in them, a few long w...	AStrongerMe	6	431	Nov 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	The recovering addicts home home. clean family blame (Preview) This question is about co-dependency I suppose. Is it a good idea to clean up the mess your addicted loved one/family member leaves behind once they are in a rehab facility? Especially if it is the home of the addict alone- is there wisdom in waiting for the recovering addict to return so they can see the...	laj	1	8304	Nov 21, 2012 by Pushka
	One More Chance to get it Right! (Preview) Welp.. Ya know.. Last November for me was just UCK! And since Loosing my Afather to this Disease in 2008, Novemeber for me has been my "Ism" month... Tomorrow My Afather would be 63, and to think I will never know him older then 58 at times breaks my heart! I often remember my Afather before th...	Jozie	4	495	Nov 21, 2012 by womanfromcalifornia
	That's life.... (Preview) that's what all the people say...Riding high in April; shot down in May..." Remember that tune and the lyrics? It really is fact. I'm living it right now and don't have many complaints while I'm still keeping "my" program as close to "thee" program as I can so the highs...	Jerry F	6	363	Nov 21, 2012 by DavidG
	Can't Believe It's Been A Year (Preview) Thinking back to last Thanksgiving- what was supposed to be a lovely family vacation in the NC mountains turned into the most horrible 5 days of my life due to my AH ruining the entire trip. Fast forward to now, I will be spending thanksgiving at my cousins with my mother and sister and am actually lookin...	TrudyS85	6	359	Nov 21, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Thanks everyone (Preview) Thanks to everyone who posted. It reminds me of who I am and what I need to be doing. The verbal and physical abuse is worse lately. More so since I stopped buying into the situation. He wants me to engage. You all reminded me -- detatch with love. Pray. Take MY inventory - not his. Thanks & God bless. Wi...	Still in Surrender Mode	5	338	Nov 21, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Asking for God's guildence (Preview) It's interesting because I am in a situation in which I could completely utilize my will and I know doing this always works out so not fun. So I am very frustrated at the moment with the whole don't just do something sit there ideology. I'm ok with God sending a big lightening bolt and striking my STBAX o...	Pushka	6	585	Nov 21, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Overidentification versus empathy (Preview) I used to think I was a really empathic person. I could identify with people who had problems so well and could almost feel what they were feeling. I also would spiral into a whole circle of emotions about how unfair life was and how I felt I had been given a bad deal. I certainly (even though I have a pract...	orchidlover	5	3449	Nov 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	Did I make a mistake (Preview) Hi All I have been in counselling and Al-anon for a little while now. Also have not talk to my son in 4 week trying to get well. This morning he texted me asking to come up for Thanksgiving and I said yes...would love him to come. Now I may have made a mistake. I want dearly to see my son but I don't want to ge...	Cathyinaz	10	524	Nov 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	Thansgiving w/o a glitch? (Preview) I am hoping that Thanksgiving will go w/o a glitch. It will be just me & my husband like I mentioned before. I think my mom wants to spend time w/ those in my family who don't regularly see her "true" self & soak up the spoiling she gets when she goes down there. Just saying... I will rem...	Hoot Nanny	1	274	Nov 20, 2012 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.