Friends say, take it slllloooooow. Ok what does that mean? To a researcher like me curious as heck, it is not defineable to me.

I am loving my relationship with my best friend growing into an us. Since he is 2000 miles away, our "dates" are when he is driving to work for 3 hours then driving back for 3 hours and we chat on and off all day. plus he calls me.

I have noticed how much fun it is, learning more and more with no distractions of hormones. Well we laugh, tease and flirt. I guess that counts. But we are learning so many things about each other, that physical stuff could easily mess up.

Learning how with experince with this sharing, things fall into place when they do. oh for instance will I be able to be comfy on the phone with him, or when. Then all of a sudden we are talking like we have been talking forever. So things will "be" and I will think, wow when did that happen?

Thinking how starved some of us get when we leave the A and need to meet someone, how we might get taken up into the physical part fast. I mean the way the world is they say third date you are well uno. NOT me. I don't want him even kissing me until I feel it. I don't care if it is a week or a month later.

Having fun, laughing, sharing tender things, talking serious all that and more develops a realationship towards what ever it will be. Also I am now learning even more, that our friendship is growing and stronger so if it does not grow to him being my husband that is ok. I want us to be right.

All the stuff that scared me is not scaring me anymore. I am now past my smallest jeans. I am NOT a stick but am very ok. trouble is financially no fitting cloths are in my future. so I am thinking ok heck with it, just do what you can.

All I know for sure is, there has never in my life been anyone I have had so much fun with and we have not even met face to face yet. I know his heart, his mind, his being logical, his sureness integrity, morals, how he wants to live, how he teases people and loves kids and animals. we like the same houses I find, he tells me it is no problem to get my horse there, will help me make a cool armadillo rescue rehab and habitat. teases me in a fun loving way like my mother did, is bright and quick like grampa, nurtures me like grama. Is soooo much like my son, an outdoorsman.

He has money but neither of us care about money. Iasked him if it would drive him crazy as I am so frugal. he says he likes that as he grew up with out much money but lots of love.

Anyway its so neat to be healed enough from the ex A disease mess to be able to really let go and let hp guide me and enjoy every single day. Also get thru the tougher ones.

I never thought I would heal enough to love like this again. Let it all hang out. Al anon is a true treasure, and the people are the best.

love,debilyn