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What Jerry F said
(Preview)
I was reading one of Jerry's replies to a post just now and I didn't really realize but I put it to use this week. " It's none of my business" My partner and I aren't speaking much but I didn't fight, didn't ask the questions, cry, beg or quiz. I just went on with my business. Things are so so mu...
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Cathyinaz
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5
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385
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Had to share this...
(Preview)
After A While by Veronica Shoftsall After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. And you begi...
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Breakingfree
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3
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251
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frustrated communication
(Preview)
Frustrated 7 month sober AH wants to communicate but seems only if he approves of topic. I can't voice something without him reading into it the opposite way. I was hoping the days of eggshells would have passed but here we are again. I want my words to mean something and to be heard for a change instead of...
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pillarofstrength0706
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7
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388
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I GOT THE JOB!!
(Preview)
Remember the interview that I was so nervous about @ 2 weeks ago? Well, I had a great interview and was offered the job today. The schedule is exactly what I wanted. I will have what I hope will be a great part time job and also have enough time at home that I am going to look into foster care on my own. I have wai...
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wornoutmrsfixit
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14
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333
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Why does this drunk think he can
(Preview)
I'm so upset .. My sick twisted AH sober had to go that extra step to hurt me . He called my sister the only one I talked to in my family and told her what going on. I was making plans to go have lunch with her but I never did!!!! The plans changed !!! I stayed home . I didn't go any where.. My AH controls me on everyt...
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Ms co-dependent
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17
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541
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How to use the program in this situation
(Preview)
I seem to attract people in to my life who like me because I am a good listener but who seem to somewhat erase me in a sense. I feel erased often. Even when in talking with people they seem to not give me eye contact but they give it to others. I don't know why this is happening. I also notice that I tend to re...
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daisy31
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6
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601
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a decision I am comfortable with
(Preview)
Two nights ago my AH said some pretty hurtful comments when he was drunk. Had me so upset I couldn't see straight. I was in no frame of mind to make a well thought decision on what I should do. So yesterday when he came home from work he was full of apologies and disgusted by his behavior. I guess it reall...
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1976love
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3
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302
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Struggling
(Preview)
I read daily but don't post a lot as its difficult from my phone. Long story shorter my A & I were together for 2 yrs... I left after a the 1st physical incident 6 months ago. He is 5
Months sober and working a great program. I truly want to have a future with him down the road, we still see each other, but a...
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AngieP
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2
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295
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It's official - He's homeless
(Preview)
My cousin lives in a corporate apartment. Last night his washing machine overflowed and ran all night and flooded his apartment and the one below it. The malfunction wasn't his fault except that he was passed out upstairs, and didn't hear the water running. They had to completely gut both apartments...
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NCSUgeology
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6
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471
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frustrating resentiment and growing!
(Preview)
So my husband and i return from an awesome 3rd 7 days honeymoon, to a sink full of dirty dishes! We have an open 2 family home where my mother n sister in-law lives that i married into for the foundation of this story! So i share with my loving husband how i feel about dirty dishes left in my sink by his family....
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Deneen
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1
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246
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Keep coming back, It works if you work it....
(Preview)
I have been a member of Al-Anon for a few years now. I cannot say that I have mastered any part of it. But I do try hard at not letting things bother me that I cannot control. However, it is still a constant struggle. My partner of 6 years began AA 3 years ago. She is 15 months sober as of two days ago ( so she says...
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jodiee34
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2
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1715
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Frustrated and angry
(Preview)
I really need to vent! I live with an active alcoholic, that denies he is an alcoholic. When he is sober, he is resonable however has a lot of unresolved anger that he takes out on me. He yells and swears and demands. Abusive. He has physically assualted me numerous times and I had to call the police on...
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joker
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5
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432
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My hero!!
(Preview)
I'm not going to lie .. if I really had brass balls I would be ALL over this, I've taken action recently NOTHING like this .. LOL!!! For those who have followed my 2 year ordeal .. this is EXACTLY what I have wanted to do to that dang whiskey truck .. I figured I'd give a visual .. LOL!!! All this needs is a pi...
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Pushka
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2
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258
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Doing the right thing when it feels so wrong.
(Preview)
Okay, So i missed the FTF meeting I was gonna go to this morning (and not that is not the subject of the post)... to my defense I have been sick with a headcold, sore throat, coughing etc. And I got up in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. I am still a wimp though and could have gone if i really...
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sadsusie
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8
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430
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Update... AGram & Me...
(Preview)
Well as Much as I would Like to Say: She is Improving Wonderfully... I'm not quite convinced we are there yet! For those of you that Don't know my Story, My AGram Had a Stroke & I Found her on Mothers Day at her Home... You know I Honestly don't know were I would be without the Support & Love of this Pr...
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Jozie
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3
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291
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cut to the inner core
(Preview)
What was I thinking??? Trying to talk to a drunk. Some of tonights comments included: You have to accept me like this, it is who I am. You were just spoiled fro 5 months (when AH was going to AA) Nothing really changed, we had the same money, same bills, same jobs, same friends, it was all the same, so w...
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1976love
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5
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446
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Wanted to share
(Preview)
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PP
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4
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227
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Inpatient ?
(Preview)
I am a newbie. there dont seem to be any Al-anon meetings in my area at any times I can attend. I have been looking for ways to connect online and hope here I can make some friends. My AH was supposed to start outpatient group therapy tonight. He had orientation on saturday. But he didnt go. He called me at...
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oregon_mom_of_3
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6
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471
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E/S/H requested
(Preview)
Somebody called me from the Parole Office today in regards to my son who has been trying to call me for two weeks even though I've e-mailed him that I won't accept the calls (too much money plus they want my debit or credit card #s). I'm fairly certain each is calling because they want my home to be his afte...
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grateful2be
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12
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320
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Trying to move forward He is suffering and I have suffered (continued)
(Preview)
Sorry I've been gone for a while We are perhaps in a different place now. I wrote this a few nights ago..... I returned home after the night at the hotel (finally some peace) to find that no one was home. Thank god. I later got a call from my husband who felt like total crap from all the drugs and drinking fro...
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sadsusie
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7
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430
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Life on Life's terms...
(Preview)
gets lived best with higher power in attendance. Wasn't very long ago my elder brother passed thru the gates twix this room and the next because of cancer which he lived with for over 5 years. This morning I get an untitled email from my younger brother that he has been diagnosed with pancreatic canc...
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Jerry F
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6
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278
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2nd f2f meeting
(Preview)
This one at a different location but quite a few of the same people. My wife asked if there was an AA meeting at the same time and there was and she went to it. Good but not trying to think about that one way or the other. Still nervous to be there honestly . They talked about "take what you want and leave t...
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dponlyme
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5
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227
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Papers served yesterday
(Preview)
Yesterday afternoon papers were served to my husband, and now the process is officially underway. I am a mix of emotions--maybe in shock a bit? I feel strong, resolved, know it's the right decision for me one moment, sad, questioning the next. So far the three kids are doing alright, I think our olde...
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yanksfan51
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5
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358
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TUESDAY NIGHT MEETING 9PM (EST) - TOPIC: THE SLOGANS OF ALANON
(Preview)
TUESDAY NIGHT MEETING 9PM (EST) - TOPIC: THE SLOGANS OF ALANON Meeting scheduled in the al-anon chat room TOPICS are: KEEP COMING BACK, EASY DOES IT; HOW IMPORTANT IS IT? The group meeting room can be easily accessed by clicking on the link on the menu bar above the board. You can also join directly at h...
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Kay356
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0
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224
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It's horrible
(Preview)
I called him this morn. He was quiet and listened. He says things will change, as far as his situation. I said for now I cannot do this. He was very sweet,gentle and asked me what he can do. Of course I told him I cannot make him change things. That is up to him. He wanted to call me tonight. I adamently said no...
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Debilyn
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9
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597
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Looking Forward to a Meeting Tonight
(Preview)
I am struggling today to keep my nose clean and looking forward to a meeting tonight. I know this is all triggered by a neurologist visit I had with my father...it is really looking like he is in one of the stages of Alzheimer's disease. I visited with him yesterday and watched him cry over and over agai...
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PP
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10
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435
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Working my program means working it everywhere.
(Preview)
I am noticing today that I am doing a good job using my alanon tools at home with my H. That is the good news. Peaceful night at home, staying focused on me, not being mean, all good.
Now for the bad news. reflecting on my work day, i see that I was Miss Negativity in the office today. Finding the negative in...
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ParisMemories
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2
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227
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How does your garden grow?
(Preview)
Tonight, for the first time in 10 years, I planted my own vegetable garden. I started small - just some tomato plants (the little cherry ones I like so much) and some green chile. My uncle and his friend came and fixed my irrigation system several weeks ago so I've been sitting on go for some time. I have ha...
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blondie99
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13
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424
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Just weirdness...
(Preview)
Seems everyone has some level of weirdness about them.... Then one day two people meet each other whose weirdness is compatible... They hook up, express their weirdness with each other... And they call it LOVE. "hey babe, ya wanna check out my weirdness, I think we'd make a good weird match!" LMAO
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John
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14
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423
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dunno where to go from here...
(Preview)
well here i am,lost in my own mind. for 6 months my newlywed wife has had a drink problem. always was a big drinker because her mum and dad drink a lot but was never an alcoholic. we had our daughter in 2010 and got married sept 2012. even on our honey moon she was permenetly drunk. since xmas, iv been comin ho...
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gavtrfc
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7
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447
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saw this on TV and wanted to share
(Preview)
FYI: Beware of ppl with these characteristics Warning signs for meeting or trusting people 1) Arrogant entitlement 2) Lack of empathy 3) No remorse/guilt (may even brag about screwing other people over) 4) Irresponsible/self-destructive 5) Thrive on drama 6) Brag about outsmarting 7) Short-te...
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sweeetr
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3
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197
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volcanic eruption
(Preview)
OK-Did you hear a volcano erupt yesterday? It was me. My A spouse finally joined a recovery group, and she even went to a meeting Sat. and Sun. She announced in the car yesterday, that she would go every other week. With everything I've learned I just could not help what happened. My adrenalin star...
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Lyne
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4
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213
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Share your experience, please.
(Preview)
My experience and healing process is leading me to ask a lot of very difficult questions. Thank you for letting me share. I am wondering - for all of you in marriages or relationships/partnerships with alcoholics - is abuse, in some form, a common element? I am examining myself, and the emotional/p...
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KLotus
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7
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386
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In love with the co dependant of an AW
(Preview)
The situation has made me very sick. I go from deep depression back to sorta ok. Always having my serenity foundation. His situation is his, not mine. It has gotten where I just cannot face talking to him anymore. Or any communication. The thought just hurts. It's so very hard to stay away from him. But I...
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Debilyn
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12
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583
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heads in a mess opinions please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
im sorry please look at my other old thread as ive added to it and i desprately need opinions please!
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gwenci
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4
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349
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I should no better by now!!!
(Preview)
How many times do I need to set myself up for failure. I can't hide anything with out the Ah finding it.. Again my accounts have been revealed. Why do I set my self up . Ah always seam to no everything I do. I give up on any sight for help.. It get found and then this set me back thinking I was going to get better ti...
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Ms co-dependent
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5
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628
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Something positive?
(Preview)
My AH sent me a long text, nothing much different that what he's done in the past, all about how he is sorry, he loves me, he feels worthless, he is a f'ng loser, on and on, BUT (big but) in the text, he said, "I know you don't want to hear my pity party, but.." I nearly danced when I saw that. He may or...
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ParisMemories
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5
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316
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Never ending mess within me
(Preview)
I have caught myself falling back into people pleasing which sacrifices me, I have been judgemental instead of minding what is in my own hoola hoop, I have been trying to control instead of letting go and letting God. I am struggling living in low income apartments surrounded by neighbors who are inv...
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Breakingfree
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8
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406
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So....Anyone ever been banned from a bar?
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I got a call from my sister today who said she got a call from the owner of my alcoholic father's local watering hole. They are friends. Apparently my dad has been banned from drinking at the establishment. Since he's apparently gone off the wall. The owner is thinking of getting the police...
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slogan_jim
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15
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618
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Today, I let it begin with me :)
(Preview)
Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I'd like to share on something neat that happened to me today. I've been going through some issues of loneliness lately and today was such a beautiful day outside that it was just to nice to let it go to waste. I began texting a bunch of friends and all were busy. I bega...
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slogan_jim
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7
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547
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I'm moving on
(Preview)
I have realized everything I'm learning about detaching from my son is now a new learning experience with my partner ( non A ). After a pretty bad exchange this week with him I found myself saying the serenity prayer over and over again but about him now. Some very sad and hurtful things were said to me, a...
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Cathyinaz
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11
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607
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Just sharing a song...
(Preview)
As the Asst. Director of Interfaith Hospitality Network here in Wilmington about 10 years ago, which caters to the needs of families with no place to live... I used this song with a video I created to present to local churches about homeless families with minor children, .. .just wanted to share it her...
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John
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2
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206
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Divorcing, continued
(Preview)
I keep wanting to talk about my situation, my feelings, to get it out because I am stuck in my head and emotions. So much has been built up over the last 4 years of marriage. Now that I filed for divorce (3 months ago), and have a protection order, I thought I would find space to heal. Seemingly not happen...
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KLotus
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6
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425
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realization
(Preview)
things will never change in my marriage, when Im the only one trying to recover/go through the program and I'm under attack (verbal) every night.. Apologies most the morning.. attack again in the evening ... He has broken every promise and crossed every boundary plus two ! I feel there is no other way...
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sweeetr
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8
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388
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operation love
(Preview)
I have a goal today. My ipod is broke. When you open an app it will click over to voice control or just turn the app I am using off...It's terrible for candy crush saga...getting it fixed today. I also have a somewhat personal problem...I'm down to one bra and underwear, who let's things get this bad, I...
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1976love
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4
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242
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Lawyer today
(Preview)
Hi Everyone: Wow--in many ways I cannot believe this day is here, in others I can't believe it didn't come sooner, but I have been thinking that all of this has happened according to God's plan, so I'm going to continue to work on giving it all over to Him. My A will be moving out the first week of June. Our ki...
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yanksfan51
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10
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311
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so grateful
(Preview)
I have had quite a time today keeping it together while my active drinking b/f has had a drink on - he's been hyper with it - singing and playing music, swearing and ranting. He's been saying all the things he can think to try to get me to react. I haven't reacted cos I know it's just the alcoholism but stil...
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Ms S
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6
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263
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Overcome's MOM
(Preview)
Hi just wanted to let you know Overcome's mom fell this morning and is resting in the hospital. Asking for prayers for her and her mom. If u are friend's with her on facebook you can read more....
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mercedes1959
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7
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247
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Having a bad day...
(Preview)
Having a rough day today. Discovered more lies from the AH, shouldn't be surprised by them...but I'm falling into all my old bad behaviors today. Discover the lie, confront, accuse, he clams up and says that when I get like this is when he wants to drink. I feel guilty, question myself, he leaves, I wor...
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ParisMemories
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7
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286
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Progress
(Preview)
Today I finally asked someone to be my sponsor. I was afraid of being rejected, but she was so kind and welcoming. After the crazy dayyesterday, i realized I need to fully commit to this program, no more playing around, this is a life saving program, but as the saying goes, it works if you work it, and I am w...
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ParisMemories
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7
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351
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Tired of defending myself
(Preview)
I'm frustrated and agitated . My AH sober 6 months is driving me crazy!!!!! We had 2 good days, I decide to go out with daughter tonight and he starts with the questions. Why when you have to.. My stress level is beyond the roof , he wants to no if I would think it's ok if he went on a social sight that I was on. To...
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Ms co-dependent
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14
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583
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An update and I am questioning myself
(Preview)
This is an update to my previous post. I posted it on the other thread, but thought maybe that thread is too far down now. I guess my question is, am I letting my disease affect me right now? As you can see at the end of my post, he called me a name and now I feel bad. I don't want to send him an apology or start up t...
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katfshh
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7
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301
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Crappy day
(Preview)
I thought it was going to be a good one, but I got caught off guard my my AH. We had plans to go see a concert outdoors tonight, and I took the bus I to work because he was supposed to meet me. Well, no big surprise here, but I just got a call about 10 minutes ago tag he doesn't want to go and had relapsed. (I don't ev...
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Findinghope
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8
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293
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want to get back with my recovering alcoholic
(Preview)
my partner has been messing with stopping drinking on and off for 5 years, he has put at times a real effort into doing so, but previously he has always kidded himself that he is ok drinking and slowly it gets back out of control. last week he behaved terribly smashing some of the house up and hit me in front...
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gwenci
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10
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394
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Update on intention/family
(Preview)
This week, I asked posters twice for feedback on family estrangement and feedback on whether or not to acknowledge my niece's wedding, my niece's graduation, and what I learned was actually two nephews graduating. On Friday, I followed up with what I intuited was God's will in my current circumst...
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grateful2be
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4
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271
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ESH Please
(Preview)
Hi All, My husband is in recovery and was my original qualifier and Alanon has been my lifesaver. My stepson is still using, we just kicked him out of the house (He's 19) because he wouldn't respect our wishes of NO USING IN THE HOUSE. My wish was no using period, but that's beside the point. The point is, h...
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Tennin
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8
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263
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Distance and perspective
(Preview)
Well I had this little epiphany today .. I'm soooo grateful for the open AA meetings .. there are no weekend alanon meetings and these just remind me that first off I am dealing with a person under the disease and that it can get better for that person if they have HOW (honesty, open mindedness, willingn...
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Pushka
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7
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423
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6 months apart and still feel sad
(Preview)
separated from my ex boyfriend six months ago, we lived together for 18 months, i had no idea he was an alcoholic, as i have never been exposed to this, i thought he was just a social drinker and enjoyed a few glasses at night and could handle his drinking....then things went into decline, he became short...
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stillsad
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7
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310
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setback, just when I stepped out in the light :-(
(Preview)
Hello family, after a long time...or so it feels. I have undertaken a home trip and when on another trip during that trip. Leaving some geographical distance between me and the place of little traumas I had over the past year with the A...it felt really amazingly free. I met old friends and family and wa...
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tortuga
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2
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651
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Mind your own business.
(Preview)
So i had an issue today that i found out that my recent ex A was back to her usual ways and headed back with her ex before me. I was hurt, shocked, heartbroken! How dare she ! Didn't she know she was better than that! How dare she! Didn't she know how hard i had worked to help her get over that bitch! Didn't she kn...
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LadyBug
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2
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292
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