The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been posting alot lately, and I thankful to have found this site. It's an extra life line.
My AH comes home from work in about an hour and again he has said today is the day he stops drinking and goes back to AA. (he threw away all his hard liquor, well drank it, and there is 2 tall buds left in the frig)
I came to the decision that somethings have to change. His word is not his anymore it's driven by alcohol. One can only hope that this is true and he sticks to his plan, but I have doubts. I have to stop putting myself and the kids in this turmoil. He must live with it not me. As much as I don't want to leave the house, I feel there is no other option if he continues to drink. I will have to wake up super early (like 430am) to get the kids ready and take them to school if they are not here at the house. He won't leave so it seems like my only choice.
I need courage to be able to walk away later as soon as I hear the beer can open. Staying here is really only enabling him. He texted me this morning that we need to work our programs. Don't really think he realizes my program has nothing to do with his.
Before making big decisions, I find it a confidence booster to gather facts and develop a plan (usually plan A and a plan B). Having options helps me not feel so stuck... but taking action, for me, means taking a deep breath and initiating- one foot in front of the other. You're in my prayers.
Praying for you too 1976, and it's great that you recognize that your program is yours alone, that is something that I am struggling with all the time.
Keep working your program, keep eyes open, let HP guide you too
I would REALLY encourage you to read the Getting them Sober series .. vol 1 and 2 at this point there are a LOT of good tips in dealing with an active drinker and an early in recovery drinker. It helps keep the focus on YOU.
I also absolutely agree with getting especially tight with your HP at this time and making sure your motives are really clean about making the changes that you are .. it's not an easy choice to make and it can have some very unexpected results. I encourage you to continue to pray and get into the alanon program full steam. Now is the time for some big support and you deserve it, you are also worth it.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thank you all for the support and courage I need. Yesterday turned out to be an ok night. He really did go to a meeting instead of the VFW. My AH thinks no one in the world can tell he has been drinking. The other night I broke it down for him...I told him nicely, "Everyone knows, it's not a secret." Now to face today...Can you order Getting them sober online? I'm gonna go look for them now. Thanks again MIP family...much love and prayers for everyone!
