Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Pushka · Pushka

I am free from court until October .. he plays his cards right and I won't be available again until after the new year .. lol. Oi .. not what I had in mind however it just is what it is at this point. It's just a series of delays. He's really stupid if he pisses the judge off further. Mediation was a joke at t...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Hi everyone, I am somewhat new to al-anon. I have been married to an alcoholic for 10+ years, but I was in denial. I know there are still "alcoholic behaviors" that I want to look out for. In my CoDependency meetings they have a long list of characteristics that may help you identify yoursel...

liisalove · liisalove

Hello everyone, This is the first time I am posting something on this forum. My name is Lisa, I just turned 23 a couple of days ago and I am a child of alcoholics. My boyfriend of a year is also an alcoholic in recovery but has been sober on and off this past year. Currently he is sober and attending AA m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

What a difference a day makes! I am so grateful that I can kind of make amends to my mom today! I have been able to w/o actually talking to her today been able to apologize for my behavior even if she doesn't accept it. I need to make another amends to my lil sis for being so ignorant about info & not being a...

cwya · cwya

does anyone know why when i click on the step work board it goes to a defunct webpage called dream tools?

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

I came across a quote yesterday. "Don't put a question mark where there should be a period. When something is over, move on" Last night, I met up with some friends I havn't seen in a about a year. They were happy to see me, which I expected. But as the night would go on, I began to remember what it w...

el-cee · el-cee

Hi everyone I am a grateful member of Alanon and I wanted to share with you my love of this program and how it is helping me. I have been using my tools for 1 year and a half now and I have not always had a grip of my program through this time. I have slips and resort back to old ways like self pity, anger, martyrd...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Please say a prayer for my son. I don't know where he is and I can't get a hold of him because his phone is either dead or turned off. No activity.... I pray I'm over reacting as in the past. I raised him up and gave him over to God...I can't do no more. ( hugs )

Lyne · Lyne

My son and my spouse have not spoken for 6 months. They are both addicts. Son is dry (pot) and spouse started recovery. Today they met with an alcohol counselor and are willing to make a fresh start. Our family's holidays had been all fouled up. The pain from this situation brought me to become ser...

Rose50 · Rose50

My son was supposed to be at my place this morning to pick up his cellphone and hasn't come. No contact from him. We spoke last night and he had been so apologetic about standing me up last Wednesday and he's done it once again! I don't know what to think or do. Beside myself with worry. I need your prayers. ...

mm830 · mm830

Well, last Saturday I told myself that would be the last Saturday I would spend in tears because of A in denial's sarcastic tone and disrespectful treatment of me. I travel for work and was out this week, he was very sweet now I get back today and he is with his drinking crowd, ignored me all day and I am gett...

Ness · Ness

Hi my wonderful MIP family..I have not been posting for some time, been ploughing my way through a depression but the clouds seem a little lighter now. The friendship, the wisdom, the tools, the ES&H I was given here have sustained me through dark days, without them I would have been undone. It wo...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

my mum has texted me saying she would love to say to me that she doesn't drink anymore and that she has to do it in her own time and she was looking forward to coming to Cornwall with me to help me get set up.(because i'm moving there) but after her abuse i said she's not coming....BUT I don't want to go alone, I...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

that i could actually either kill someone, or have something explode in my brain. I have come on here to vent so i don't text my **** of an alcoholic mother. She infuriates me with her denial. I know i can't control it, but when i spend time texting, caring, and encouraging and she doesn't give a *****k it m...

karma13 · karma13

I have a friend here in town with me, I'm going through my own stuff, so I just listen to her. She is not in a place, to even think about recovery, because she is still in denial about her relationship with this toxic man. I have my own issues to deal with, so I can just listen to her and I feel her pain because I...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54887232/alanon-step-12/

stephaniej · stephaniej

Just wondering if you're still having doubts, or if you've settled in more...

Rose50 · Rose50

I received this email from my son this morning - he has never opened up this way before. Dear Mom, I am really sorry I made you wait, But I was concerned about my saftey and wasn't available on WED. I am very sorry that life sucks for both of us right now, but I am really hoping from...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Well, the guy i was dating/obsessing about broke things off with me today. We were best friends for two years. I feel utterly devestated. Rejected. Alone and hopeless. anY KIND WORDS WOULD HELP.

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

With school starting I have barely had time to come here and read lately, but I do every few days come back to catch up. I am here in support just lately quietly with my hectic schedule. Sending you all prayers, love and support always!

In The Forest · In The Forest

Some of my favorite things to read here are stories about people who have been able to find their strength and set some boundaries to help them to deal with the alcohol in their lives. When I read these stories it helps me find strength, encouragement, words and ideas for how I can do this for myself. I str...

ladybug10 · ladybug10

I'm new to this board and am hoping to find some support. I'm in my early 40's with three kids, ages 14, 18 and 21. My husband has been an alcoholic for years. I'm not sure how it started...was it stress that triggered the excessive drinking or the excessive drinking that triggers his stress? I feel li...

AngieP · AngieP

My HP laid this song on my heart a few days ago and I know what "my part " is to do to achieve the fulfillment promised. I want it.. I know it's right there at the tips of my fingers waiting for me... freedom & the peace I desire so much in my life, yet I d...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Yes I'm taking the blame and the shame and the knowing my actions that I took today was not right and I and unacceptable . I was a reactor ready to explode and I did .. Do I feel better NO! Did I get any thing good out of it NO! I can honestly say I been good and patient and put up with to much that yesterday was the l...

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

Husband is 30 days dry today. No program. Today he says "quitting drinking is not hard." Yeah, tell that to your irritability I dealt with for the first 2 weeks and the gallons of soda, pounds of M&Ms, and pints of ice cream you went through trying not to drink this month. A month ago h...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Today I was in a car accident, minor damage, not my fault, no one was hurt. The other driver literally drove into me as I was fully stopped in parking lot. He got out of the car, and apologized. He was young, obviously high on something, glazed eyes, nervous, talking like a con artist, super polite, but cl...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I was looking at the posts tonight and saw the name Sick with Worry by rose (who by the way I am keeping in my prayers with the posted situation) .. As I sat here worried about not even sure what at the moment, it jumped out at me big time ! Sick .. I'm sick with worry, obsessing, fear, etc.. whatever it has been...

Rose50 · Rose50

I am very concerned about my son. He had checked himself into the hospital psych ward last weekend as he is depressed and I believe he had a relapse. He called me to let me know where he is and told me "I'm fine - don't worry about me". He is currently living in a rooming house, which is supposed to...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is the first time I have used the anger icon on here! I am definitely angry still at my mom! I don't want it to become a resentment! OK so I was talking to her & she mentioned how she doesn't trust my husband. I am livid as this stuff is continuing as she sits in the hospital & I am having trouble lo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning my friends I have been praying a lot for some answers and asking for guidance. Many many people have gone through the death of a child and there have been many degrees of remorse, guilt and sorrow. I am one that has to at least prepare myself just in case. It's terrible to think this way but...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: I have had some starts and stops w my A as far as engaging or not, with whatever drama may be happening at that moment. An example of going backward, for me, is when I hear from him the disbelief that all of this is happening, and I beging to justify and explain. Anytime I have gone down that fam...

tortuga · tortuga

I am mainly focusing on myself right now, and the peace i gained in the past 2 weeks is immense. I really want to grow into that. I know I should not think about my ex A, and what is is doing. a matter of fact, I am far from obsessing. But I'm still human and don't always get how those dynamics work, when people...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I need a lifeline for when the A starts his attitude . I hate bothering ppl at 1 am in the morning

islandtime · islandtime

I can't believe how long I have been without emotional support, connection, conversation, all of it. I was made to feel I was just not worth the effort. That it was my fault. That I was just too needy. I am sick to death of being lonely. It doesn't matter that we can be in the same house, same bed, or same car...

islandtime · islandtime

I would love to hear from you all that have gotten out, and started a new life. That is what I need to do, and I just need to get it together, and do it. The problem is I have been with him since I was 18, I am now pushing 61 I've been suffering in silence. But it is getting more unbearable by the year.I was begini...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Friends I have been working on keeping my distance with my son. He, I'm sure is not in a good way and now is not the time to step in. BUT....the big but...if the A is so down and at his bottom and doesn't know what to do and he takes his own life or does something else that will hurt him...should we step in or...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I feel like ranting about how I feel. I promised myself I'd leave this out of my social life, so you guys get to benefit :) I have made no secret that I am tired of being alone. I am tired of tackling life by myself with just my higher pow...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Can't say much my post have been read . Not a pleasant night .. Tired of the BS tired of the questions . His slip ups push me far away . I swear to my higher power his plain is to drive me to a nutt house . Further info on Alalon wall . Privacy one . Broken67

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I've shared when I went to alanon several years ago, I went to change the addict. I went back after realizing how my obsession on this person was really effecting me. Even later I realized obsession is what (I) do and is why I needed to keep coming back. Tonight I was reading in Discovering Choices and...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Good morning to all of my brothers and sisters in Alalon . My children started school today. And now I have more time for me, if I was healthy that would be great but I'm not and I'm crying as I'm writing this and by all means I want no pity. . Most of you know me for my crazy rants and rage. September is a tough mo...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Sometimes Whenthe people you love hurt you the most, Its better to stay quiet... Because, If your love wasn't enough... Do you think your words will matter ??

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been away from home 78 days, AH has been sober 32 days. He was verbally abusive and (do I have to even say it lol) manipulative. I have been pretty emotional these last few days and find it easier just not to speak to him. So we text. Barely. I am sure that he wants me to come home, although he has (no choi...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

i no longer have the active A in my life who brought me into the program. I have since gotten together with my best friend of two years and we have been dating. He understands my intimacy issues and my tendencies to run if things move too quickly and too fast. My past has been laden with addiction to a person...

cwya · cwya

Well i've had a doozy of an event inside my program community and i'm beginning to think i should just stop trying to go to meetings or make friends in the program. i doubt i'll ever have a sponsor again though i earnestly want one. i should say up front that i am both an alanon and AA which is true for most of...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Ugh, what a weekend that was. My daughter was away, which is always a little challenging for me. The A stayed in his room and drank and slept in fits. I couldn't find the energy or desire to do anything much. I've become so accustomed to keeping the house quiet when he's asleep (he used to rage if a sound was...

sad_dog_mommy · sad_dog_mommy

My chronically unemployed ABF just contacted my employer looking for a job!

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Epic journey today, 10 hours of buses and trains. I do this every 2nd friday to take my daughter to her father's house (it's just across the bay- now if I only had a hovercraft). When we moved here, for the A's job at the time, he was going to help "as much as he could" with the travel. Mhhm. As I'v...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Hi I found another room on this board that will be a help to me the child abuse blog . How do I access it? I put in my name and it won't accept it

Debilyn · Debilyn

Nothing tastes right, feels right. Dream about my first husband all the time, makes me insane. He died many years ago. I hurt so badly. I was out hanging cloths up, it hit me, I did kill him. I told my first I had to divorce, he had driven with our babies drunk. He was sooo upset and so hurt. That night is when h...

oldergal · oldergal

What do you think of this? If we can project negative scenarios, consequences with mental pictures and words and feelings even in color (which takes time and energy), why can't we project, words and feelings, pictures in our minds of good outcomes, sensible happenings. What and or who is stopping...

karma13 · karma13

Good afternoon, This is my first post to this forum. I have been working a alanon/coda program for the past two plus years on and off again. I have recently been working my program hard by going to meetings, studying the steps and praying and meditating, basically making sure I take care of myself ever...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Was a long weekend w/o incident! No booze to spoil the moments. Spent time w/ sober friends & especially my fav Al anon friend! I am so grateful for my close & special friend she drops everything to do something or spend time w/ me. I love her to death. I can't imagine my life w/o her. Anyhow, back t...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

An AA speaker at an Al-anon meeting gave the members this unusual insight from the other side of the fence: The non-alcoholic in the family doesn't seem to realize that the alcoholic is in a terribly vulnerable position. He must be constantly on guard, because he knows. deep down inside, how much trou...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I feel a little stuck in this limbo state. I left home 77 days ago, AH has been sober 30 days. Our marriage was full of verbal abuse (when drunk) and alot of control. I never felt likeI could have friends etc. Now that he is sober, i would like to get to know him again...test the waters so to speak. I realize t...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

It's humbling for me to admit. I have a Great Spiritual recovery with tons of wisdom thanks to God and the members of alanon and yet I lack the power (wisdom) to know how to lighten up and move forward in my thinking. Try as I might, I cannot shake the place I am in .. Funniest way to put it is I feel like I have...

ConcernedMomma · ConcernedMomma

Hi, I am a 40 year old mother of two teenage boys. This December I will be married to my husband 20 years and while we originally were planning to renew our vows, he is now incarcerated instead. Over the course of our entire marriage, he has struggled w/ drug addiction and been in and out of jail several t...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

The longer I'm out of my last relationship of 12 to 13 years .. the more I'm able to see clearer .. It was so Emotionally toxic .. for us both really in spite of the fact this person was a drug addict .. all I really did was reinforce behaviors he uses to forget in the first place .. at least one of the reasons my w...

ConcernedMomma · ConcernedMomma

I have a question for everyone. How do you de-tach without feeling cold and alone? I am new at this but feel like de-taching is my way of saying "I don't care what you do any more". To me that feels like I am shutting a part of myself off from my spouse and makes me feel more alone. What am I missing...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I just posted on the addict but I want to expand .. I went to a face to face meeting a couple weeks back and the chair was sharing the confusion his her confusion with my will vs Gods will. I have been kicking it around in the back of my mind ever since .. I hear myself often saying God not my will but yours be don...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I emailed him to say hi and hoped his move went well. He did email me back and said his dad was too sick and chewed him out because my son didn't have any help now. He also said his landlord is on his arse. Also he was more banged up since his last bike accident. He is bleeding everywhere..cut up but is doe...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Free .. not that free .. however free enough for the moment . . (Preview) I am free from court until October .. he plays his cards right and I won't be available again until after the new year .. lol. Oi .. not what I had in mind however it just is what it is at this point. It's just a series of delays. He's really stupid if he pisses the judge off further. Mediation was a joke at t...	Pushka	3	392	Sep 8, 2013 by PP
	Behaviors of an alcoholic.....or a "dry" alcoholic... alcoholic behaviors dry alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone, I am somewhat new to al-anon. I have been married to an alcoholic for 10+ years, but I was in denial. I know there are still "alcoholic behaviors" that I want to look out for. In my CoDependency meetings they have a long list of characteristics that may help you identify yoursel...	sadsusie	9	6092	Sep 8, 2013 by milkwood
	new to this (Preview) Hello everyone, This is the first time I am posting something on this forum. My name is Lisa, I just turned 23 a couple of days ago and I am a child of alcoholics. My boyfriend of a year is also an alcoholic in recovery but has been sober on and off this past year. Currently he is sober and attending AA m...	liisalove	5	379	Sep 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	what a difference a day makes! (Preview) What a difference a day makes! I am so grateful that I can kind of make amends to my mom today! I have been able to w/o actually talking to her today been able to apologize for my behavior even if she doesn't accept it. I need to make another amends to my lil sis for being so ignorant about info & not being a...	Hoot Nanny	2	212	Sep 8, 2013 by hotrod
	step work board (Preview) does anyone know why when i click on the step work board it goes to a defunct webpage called dream tools?	cwya	2	210	Sep 8, 2013 by hisimage
	Staying true to myself. (Preview) I came across a quote yesterday. "Don't put a question mark where there should be a period. When something is over, move on" Last night, I met up with some friends I havn't seen in a about a year. They were happy to see me, which I expected. But as the night would go on, I began to remember what it w...	slogan_jim	6	306	Sep 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	Loving Alanon (Preview) Hi everyone I am a grateful member of Alanon and I wanted to share with you my love of this program and how it is helping me. I have been using my tools for 1 year and a half now and I have not always had a grip of my program through this time. I have slips and resort back to old ways like self pity, anger, martyrd...	el-cee	8	345	Sep 8, 2013 by Jerry F
	Prayers (Preview) Good Morning Please say a prayer for my son. I don't know where he is and I can't get a hold of him because his phone is either dead or turned off. No activity.... I pray I'm over reacting as in the past. I raised him up and gave him over to God...I can't do no more. ( hugs )	Cathyinaz	17	585	Sep 8, 2013 by AngelicH57
	Blessing occurred (Preview) My son and my spouse have not spoken for 6 months. They are both addicts. Son is dry (pot) and spouse started recovery. Today they met with an alcohol counselor and are willing to make a fresh start. Our family's holidays had been all fouled up. The pain from this situation brought me to become ser...	Lyne	12	288	Sep 8, 2013 by yanksfan51
	My son did not show up (Preview) My son was supposed to be at my place this morning to pick up his cellphone and hasn't come. No contact from him. We spoke last night and he had been so apologetic about standing me up last Wednesday and he's done it once again! I don't know what to think or do. Beside myself with worry. I need your prayers. ...	Rose50	9	546	Sep 8, 2013 by Rose50
	The Silent Treatment... (Preview) Well, last Saturday I told myself that would be the last Saturday I would spend in tears because of A in denial's sarcastic tone and disrespectful treatment of me. I travel for work and was out this week, he was very sweet now I get back today and he is with his drinking crowd, ignored me all day and I am gett...	mm830	9	838	Sep 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	Hi Family (Preview) Hi my wonderful MIP family..I have not been posting for some time, been ploughing my way through a depression but the clouds seem a little lighter now. The friendship, the wisdom, the tools, the ES&H I was given here have sustained me through dark days, without them I would have been undone. It wo...	Ness	8	291	Sep 7, 2013 by Ness
	I'm confused about whether my alcoholic mum is pushing my boundaries (Preview) my mum has texted me saying she would love to say to me that she doesn't drink anymore and that she has to do it in her own time and she was looking forward to coming to Cornwall with me to help me get set up.(because i'm moving there) but after her abuse i said she's not coming....BUT I don't want to go alone, I...	qwerty49	14	364	Sep 7, 2013 by qwerty49
	I feel SO angry (Preview) that i could actually either kill someone, or have something explode in my brain. I have come on here to vent so i don't text my ** of an alcoholic mother. She infuriates me with her denial. I know i can't control it, but when i spend time texting, caring, and encouraging and she doesn't give a ***k it m...	qwerty49	9	436	Sep 7, 2013 by qwerty49
	Prayers for a friend (Preview) I have a friend here in town with me, I'm going through my own stuff, so I just listen to her. She is not in a place, to even think about recovery, because she is still in denial about her relationship with this toxic man. I have my own issues to deal with, so I can just listen to her and I feel her pain because I...	karma13	9	402	Sep 7, 2013 by karma13
	STEP 12 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54887232/alanon-step-12/	hotrod	0	185	Sep 7, 2013 by hotrod
	Pinkchip, how are things going at your new job? Feeling any better about things? (Preview) Just wondering if you're still having doubts, or if you've settled in more...	stephaniej	9	518	Sep 7, 2013 by Jerry F
	Email from my son (Preview) I received this email from my son this morning - he has never opened up this way before. Dear Mom, I am really sorry I made you wait, But I was concerned about my saftey and wasn't available on WED. I am very sorry that life sucks for both of us right now, but I am really hoping from...	Rose50	7	511	Sep 7, 2013 by hotrod
	I just got dumped (Preview) Well, the guy i was dating/obsessing about broke things off with me today. We were best friends for two years. I feel utterly devestated. Rejected. Alone and hopeless. anY KIND WORDS WOULD HELP.	RunnerChick	19	610	Sep 7, 2013 by bud
	MIA from MIP (Preview) With school starting I have barely had time to come here and read lately, but I do every few days come back to catch up. I am here in support just lately quietly with my hectic schedule. Sending you all prayers, love and support always!	Breakingfree	7	281	Sep 7, 2013 by PP
	What Are Your Boundaries? (Preview) Some of my favorite things to read here are stories about people who have been able to find their strength and set some boundaries to help them to deal with the alcohol in their lives. When I read these stories it helps me find strength, encouragement, words and ideas for how I can do this for myself. I str...	In The Forest	30	2053	Sep 6, 2013 by In The Forest
	New to this board (Preview) I'm new to this board and am hoping to find some support. I'm in my early 40's with three kids, ages 14, 18 and 21. My husband has been an alcoholic for years. I'm not sure how it started...was it stress that triggered the excessive drinking or the excessive drinking that triggers his stress? I feel li...	ladybug10	8	370	Sep 7, 2013 by Jerry F
	I have a direction ... (Preview) My HP laid this song on my heart a few days ago and I know what "my part " is to do to achieve the fulfillment promised. I want it.. I know it's right there at the tips of my fingers waiting for me... freedom & the peace I desire so much in my life, yet I d...	AngieP	5	266	Sep 7, 2013 by hotrod
	WELL I NEW IT WAS A MATTER OF (Preview) Yes I'm taking the blame and the shame and the knowing my actions that I took today was not right and I and unacceptable . I was a reactor ready to explode and I did .. Do I feel better NO! Did I get any thing good out of it NO! I can honestly say I been good and patient and put up with to much that yesterday was the l...	Ms co-dependent	9	595	Sep 6, 2013 by grateful2be
	30 days dry and the insanity continues (Preview) Husband is 30 days dry today. No program. Today he says "quitting drinking is not hard." Yeah, tell that to your irritability I dealt with for the first 2 weeks and the gallons of soda, pounds of M&Ms, and pints of ice cream you went through trying not to drink this month. A month ago h...	gingerfizz	8	504	Sep 6, 2013 by Pushka
	Another lesson for me (Preview) Today I was in a car accident, minor damage, not my fault, no one was hurt. The other driver literally drove into me as I was fully stopped in parking lot. He got out of the car, and apologized. He was young, obviously high on something, glazed eyes, nervous, talking like a con artist, super polite, but cl...	ParisMemories	6	292	Sep 6, 2013 by PP
	Recognising the disease through the name of a post.. (Preview) I was looking at the posts tonight and saw the name Sick with Worry by rose (who by the way I am keeping in my prayers with the posted situation) .. As I sat here worried about not even sure what at the moment, it jumped out at me big time ! Sick .. I'm sick with worry, obsessing, fear, etc.. whatever it has been...	MeTwo2	1	466	Sep 6, 2013 by Jerry F
	Sick with worry (Preview) I am very concerned about my son. He had checked himself into the hospital psych ward last weekend as he is depressed and I believe he had a relapse. He called me to let me know where he is and told me "I'm fine - don't worry about me". He is currently living in a rooming house, which is supposed to...	Rose50	17	555	Sep 6, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	anger run riot! (Preview) This is the first time I have used the anger icon on here! I am definitely angry still at my mom! I don't want it to become a resentment! OK so I was talking to her & she mentioned how she doesn't trust my husband. I am livid as this stuff is continuing as she sits in the hospital & I am having trouble lo...	Hoot Nanny	2	282	Sep 6, 2013 by hotrod
	I am not alone (Preview) Good Morning my friends I have been praying a lot for some answers and asking for guidance. Many many people have gone through the death of a child and there have been many degrees of remorse, guilt and sorrow. I am one that has to at least prepare myself just in case. It's terrible to think this way but...	Cathyinaz	6	508	Sep 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	working on detachment (Preview) Hi Everyone: I have had some starts and stops w my A as far as engaging or not, with whatever drama may be happening at that moment. An example of going backward, for me, is when I hear from him the disbelief that all of this is happening, and I beging to justify and explain. Anytime I have gone down that fam...	yanksfan51	1	257	Sep 5, 2013 by karma13
	hitting and then praising?! is that normal crazy behavior? (Preview) I am mainly focusing on myself right now, and the peace i gained in the past 2 weeks is immense. I really want to grow into that. I know I should not think about my ex A, and what is is doing. a matter of fact, I am far from obsessing. But I'm still human and don't always get how those dynamics work, when people...	tortuga	11	497	Sep 5, 2013 by Debilyn
	When to call the hot line (Preview) I need a lifeline for when the A starts his attitude . I hate bothering ppl at 1 am in the morning	Ms co-dependent	6	455	Sep 5, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	emotional connection (Preview) I can't believe how long I have been without emotional support, connection, conversation, all of it. I was made to feel I was just not worth the effort. That it was my fault. That I was just too needy. I am sick to death of being lonely. It doesn't matter that we can be in the same house, same bed, or same car...	islandtime	5	341	Sep 5, 2013 by islandtime
	divorced??? (Preview) I would love to hear from you all that have gotten out, and started a new life. That is what I need to do, and I just need to get it together, and do it. The problem is I have been with him since I was 18, I am now pushing 61 I've been suffering in silence. But it is getting more unbearable by the year.I was begini...	islandtime	9	435	Sep 5, 2013 by islandtime
	I need some thoughts on this (Preview) Hi Friends I have been working on keeping my distance with my son. He, I'm sure is not in a good way and now is not the time to step in. BUT....the big but...if the A is so down and at his bottom and doesn't know what to do and he takes his own life or does something else that will hurt him...should we step in or...	Cathyinaz	11	532	Sep 5, 2013 by PP
	I want to 'want it' more, ranting, feel free to skip. (Preview) Hey everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I feel like ranting about how I feel. I promised myself I'd leave this out of my social life, so you guys get to benefit :) I have made no secret that I am tired of being alone. I am tired of tackling life by myself with just my higher pow...	slogan_jim	4	302	Sep 5, 2013 by PP
	I came home to a A with attitude (Preview) Can't say much my post have been read . Not a pleasant night .. Tired of the BS tired of the questions . His slip ups push me far away . I swear to my higher power his plain is to drive me to a nutt house . Further info on Alalon wall . Privacy one . Broken67	Ms co-dependent	0	170	Sep 5, 2013 by Ms co-dependent
	Obsession Read .. (Preview) I've shared when I went to alanon several years ago, I went to change the addict. I went back after realizing how my obsession on this person was really effecting me. Even later I realized obsession is what (I) do and is why I needed to keep coming back. Tonight I was reading in Discovering Choices and...	MeTwo2	4	343	Sep 5, 2013 by karma13
	Depressed emotional isolating escape (Preview) Good morning to all of my brothers and sisters in Alalon . My children started school today. And now I have more time for me, if I was healthy that would be great but I'm not and I'm crying as I'm writing this and by all means I want no pity. . Most of you know me for my crazy rants and rage. September is a tough mo...	Ms co-dependent	8	459	Sep 5, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Quote I liked (Preview) Sometimes Whenthe people you love hurt you the most, Its better to stay quiet... Because, If your love wasn't enough... Do you think your words will matter ??	sweeetr	4	266	Sep 5, 2013 by MeTwo2
	I finally got angry and it cleared my head. not allowing fear or mistrust to skew reality (Preview) I have been away from home 78 days, AH has been sober 32 days. He was verbally abusive and (do I have to even say it lol) manipulative. I have been pretty emotional these last few days and find it easier just not to speak to him. So we text. Barely. I am sure that he wants me to come home, although he has (no choi...	sadsusie	6	444	Sep 5, 2013 by Debilyn
	I need help/support - obsessing Love addiction obsession dating (Preview) i no longer have the active A in my life who brought me into the program. I have since gotten together with my best friend of two years and we have been dating. He understands my intimacy issues and my tendencies to run if things move too quickly and too fast. My past has been laden with addiction to a person...	RunnerChick	8	8021	Sep 5, 2013 by neshema2
	traditions, step meetings, double winners (Preview) Well i've had a doozy of an event inside my program community and i'm beginning to think i should just stop trying to go to meetings or make friends in the program. i doubt i'll ever have a sponsor again though i earnestly want one. i should say up front that i am both an alanon and AA which is true for most of...	cwya	16	4156	Sep 5, 2013 by cwya
	Yep, it's cunning. (Preview) Ugh, what a weekend that was. My daughter was away, which is always a little challenging for me. The A stayed in his room and drank and slept in fits. I couldn't find the energy or desire to do anything much. I've become so accustomed to keeping the house quiet when he's asleep (he used to rage if a sound was...	Melly1248	19	681	Sep 4, 2013 by gingerfizz
	what nerve! (Preview) My chronically unemployed ABF just contacted my employer looking for a job!	sad_dog_mommy	1	265	Sep 4, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Must remember to breath! (Preview) Epic journey today, 10 hours of buses and trains. I do this every 2nd friday to take my daughter to her father's house (it's just across the bay- now if I only had a hovercraft). When we moved here, for the A's job at the time, he was going to help "as much as he could" with the travel. Mhhm. As I'v...	Melly1248	7	473	Sep 4, 2013 by Ms co-dependent
	How to ? (Preview) Hi I found another room on this board that will be a help to me the child abuse blog . How do I access it? I put in my name and it won't accept it	Ms co-dependent	5	294	Sep 4, 2013 by Ms co-dependent
	Surviving (Preview) Nothing tastes right, feels right. Dream about my first husband all the time, makes me insane. He died many years ago. I hurt so badly. I was out hanging cloths up, it hit me, I did kill him. I told my first I had to divorce, he had driven with our babies drunk. He was sooo upset and so hurt. That night is when h...	Debilyn	12	582	Sep 4, 2013 by cwya
	POSITIVE PROJECTIONS (Preview) What do you think of this? If we can project negative scenarios, consequences with mental pictures and words and feelings even in color (which takes time and energy), why can't we project, words and feelings, pictures in our minds of good outcomes, sensible happenings. What and or who is stopping...	oldergal	8	572	Sep 4, 2013 by tortuga
	A question about dry live in boyfriend (Preview) Good afternoon, This is my first post to this forum. I have been working a alanon/coda program for the past two plus years on and off again. I have recently been working my program hard by going to meetings, studying the steps and praying and meditating, basically making sure I take care of myself ever...	karma13	9	578	Sep 4, 2013 by PP
	long weekend but excellent! (Preview) Was a long weekend w/o incident! No booze to spoil the moments. Spent time w/ sober friends & especially my fav Al anon friend! I am so grateful for my close & special friend she drops everything to do something or spend time w/ me. I love her to death. I can't imagine my life w/o her. Anyhow, back t...	Hoot Nanny	2	273	Sep 4, 2013 by hotrod
	ODAT page 187 (Preview) An AA speaker at an Al-anon meeting gave the members this unusual insight from the other side of the fence: The non-alcoholic in the family doesn't seem to realize that the alcoholic is in a terribly vulnerable position. He must be constantly on guard, because he knows. deep down inside, how much trou...	Cathyinaz	17	642	Sep 4, 2013 by cwya
	Trying to learn to compromise with a recovering AH (Preview) I feel a little stuck in this limbo state. I left home 77 days ago, AH has been sober 30 days. Our marriage was full of verbal abuse (when drunk) and alot of control. I never felt likeI could have friends etc. Now that he is sober, i would like to get to know him again...test the waters so to speak. I realize t...	sadsusie	13	578	Sep 4, 2013 by hisimage
	Too serious (Preview) It's humbling for me to admit. I have a Great Spiritual recovery with tons of wisdom thanks to God and the members of alanon and yet I lack the power (wisdom) to know how to lighten up and move forward in my thinking. Try as I might, I cannot shake the place I am in .. Funniest way to put it is I feel like I have...	MeTwo2	10	412	Sep 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	New and back & forth (Preview) Hi, I am a 40 year old mother of two teenage boys. This December I will be married to my husband 20 years and while we originally were planning to renew our vows, he is now incarcerated instead. Over the course of our entire marriage, he has struggled w/ drug addiction and been in and out of jail several t...	ConcernedMomma	3	425	Sep 3, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Just facing me again (Preview) The longer I'm out of my last relationship of 12 to 13 years .. the more I'm able to see clearer .. It was so Emotionally toxic .. for us both really in spite of the fact this person was a drug addict .. all I really did was reinforce behaviors he uses to forget in the first place .. at least one of the reasons my w...	MeTwo2	9	374	Sep 4, 2013 by MeTwo2
	How to De-Tach (Preview) I have a question for everyone. How do you de-tach without feeling cold and alone? I am new at this but feel like de-taching is my way of saying "I don't care what you do any more". To me that feels like I am shutting a part of myself off from my spouse and makes me feel more alone. What am I missing...	ConcernedMomma	4	451	Sep 3, 2013 by karma13
	My will Vs Gods will (Preview) I just posted on the addict but I want to expand .. I went to a face to face meeting a couple weeks back and the chair was sharing the confusion his her confusion with my will vs Gods will. I have been kicking it around in the back of my mind ever since .. I hear myself often saying God not my will but yours be don...	MeTwo2	12	1291	Sep 3, 2013 by abbyal
	My son (Preview) I emailed him to say hi and hoped his move went well. He did email me back and said his dad was too sick and chewed him out because my son didn't have any help now. He also said his landlord is on his arse. Also he was more banged up since his last bike accident. He is bleeding everywhere..cut up but is doe...	Cathyinaz	17	611	Sep 3, 2013 by Rose50
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.