The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so angry at myself.. I did not go visit my son today at his recovery program for church after I told him yesterday I would.. I made a mistake and now I feel guilty.. I too have my demons to fight. I feel like I'm taking many steps backwards.. I pray my son will forgive me. I won't be able to go see next week due to spending time with my daughter. I feel though even if I did not go visit he should be ok with me not going.. I can not call him to explain.. But I made a stupid mistake and do not wake up on time to go visit. I feel so guilty and like I let him down.. Just had to put my feelings on here.. God bless...
You are human and over slept Please be gentle with yourself and forgive this minor infraction. You might consider calling the facility and speak to his counselor. That way you can let him know that you are Ok and that you simply missed the bus.
((((Gaby)))) this is a part of the recovery process that both of you are on. This is the disease at work on you. Guilt can be used to call him and explain and apologize. It can also be used to make amends...the change part. This is a test and a growth period of time. You have no power over how he will respond all you have is your own power and willingness to keep going forward. You're doing it. The process isn't about perfection; it is about progression. Suck it up and call...tell him it isn't his fault (if you're still not blaming him) and then ask him how he's doing. In support. ((((hugs))))
Thank you all for your support. I am unable to call my son.. I would but one time his pastor said if its life or death call but if its because you just couldn't show up then let him be a man and deal with it. Well it was not life or death and yes my son has let me down many times and I always forgave. His pastor also said you need to allow him to grow and if part of it is not showing up just because that's ok he needs to deal with grown up things because he is a grown man. I am a mother still with guilt. I feel owe will always owe him.. God help me. It was one missed visit.
It's okay Gaby. You are growing too and learning things through repetition. You have a worrying nature and he reinforced it by being a constant screw up. It's going to take a long time to get better. This time, you sought out feedback and support from us and from the pastor. You didn't just freak out and do nothing or totally lose it. You are sharing, finding solutions, and trying to change your thinking but it's hard going... I think you are doing great.
