Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

PaintItBlack · PaintItBlack

New Here. I just need a place to let loose where no one knows me or my sister. For seven years I've watched her fall into alcohol. It was subtle at first. I noticed she would never talk to me unless it was a crisis. No casual, "how are you?" or "what's new?" or "let's meet up&...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Maybe and maybe not and then there will be more maybe than not because a duck is a duck is a duck. Some of you might remember that part of my journey that included "Pinch and Roodie" the two duck chicks I rescued from my clients hotel who were abandoned by their mom. Well this one isn't named...

LiveLaughLove · LiveLaughLove

I visit this forum very often but don't post very often, but right now I just need to share (okay....vent). I feel like such a sucker. My ex and I broke up over a year ago due to his alcoholism. We have still been in contact and have even, at times, discussed the possibility of us getting back together if h...

elmo7 · elmo7

Hi folks. I'm sure glad I stumbled across this site. I don't know how you determine when enough is enough, but it feels like I'm getting close. My wife left on Sunday to go to the beach with her parents while I stayed at home and kept working. I'm ashamed to say that it has been wonderful having her gone...

lucymae · lucymae

I am helping out a person who was more of an acquaintance but is becoming more of a friend. She has been severely depressed. I have been helping her going on my 7th week. I'm there practically all day, everyday it seems. She is getting help so I don't feel I am enabling her by staying with her and helping her...

Lyne · Lyne

I fooled myself for many years. I thought my spouse cared about me so much that she would get healthy and learn to control her addictions. NOT SO! Not even close. The addictions are her priority and let me learn this please. I cannot compete with them. Alcohol, food, and gambling, are so much more...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So I went roller skating with my kids at the park, which isn't that abnormal, we usually bike ride there. We play Frisbee golf there and go to the beach, but yesterday I fell roller skating and broke my right arm at the elbow, trying to catch myself. Of course it's my primary arm and I have to figure out how t...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I've been sitting here reading about Step 4 and thinking about the idea of making a moral inventory of myself. And it scares me. I don't really want to take a real deep look inside at myself because I'm afraid of what i will find. Will I find only emptiness. Maybe only bitterness and resentment. Or j...

lucymae · lucymae

I discovered the "high" of shopping when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I stole money from my father and went on a shopping spree. I've been doing it ever since and I will be 52. I don't steal money from anyone but I do steal from my husband and I lie and cheat with him. I know why I started this. It's...

DebLisa55 · DebLisa55

I have not been here in a long time. My husband was doing much better on his own. He found a good job and was happy. But for some reason in the past 2 weeks he is back to drinking AGAIN. I honestly do not know what gets into his head. His nasty attitude towards me is back and he actually blames me for his dri...

hotrod · hotrod

I love to find proof that this program is truly a fellowship of equals . Inspired by "Slow Learners" use of the Just for Today bookmark , I have decided to follow her lead and take one portion of that little pamphlet and work it today. When I first came into program, I really loved t...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Lets forget for the moment that I had decided to move out. That no matter how hard I try, I DO love him. I am noticing (he is certainly pointing it out) that I am a negative nelly I do frequently point out the negatives. I will turn a positive conversation into a negative conversation. I am harping on him, a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Please keep the prayers coming because there is some wild stuff coming down the pipe. I have to let this go tonight and I'm soooo HOPING I'm wrong .. I sold the van a couple months ago and these folks got the van running and now are switching the title .. well .. there is a lien on the van .. now I did do some thi...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I thought I was OK with my COPD but I guess I'm not at night. The study shows my oxygen go's down below 80 and they said that's not good. So they are coming today to my house and check it out and set up oxygen for me. ??? Dang I don't need to start losing my health Oh and I just started a diet and t...

slowlearner · slowlearner

Just for today... I am going to listen to my body and myself. I am going to listen for the times I am enabling. I am going to think before I speak or agree to something. I am not going to be the superachiever at work. But work well to the best of my abilities and not take on anyone else's projects and admit t...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Is there any way an individual can make her sight of the board be like it was? I know I remember seeing an ascending and the other ,once? I am seeing posts from days ago first. Then I miss new ones. I am scrolling all over trying to find new ones. I hate to miss a newbies welcome! Also someone who I want to make s...

el-cee · el-cee

My sponsor was telling me how the slogans are the gateway to the steps. Like practicing live and let live, saying it in your mind when you feel that need to get involved, is like practicing step 1. Do you use the slogans like this? -- Edited by el-cee on Tuesday 17th of June 2014 01:52:12 PM

missmeliss · missmeliss

So, feeling kind sad but determined to keep it together, I was due to have my brother and his girlfriend visit yesterday for the weekend and I went ahead with that plan and just cautioned my brother that I might not be totally animated and excitable as I'd had a bit of a hard day but would be really pleased t...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Have you ever wanted to go back in time, undo something you've done? As you get older, wiser (snort), you can name moments where you think to yourself, if only.... If only I could go back and take a different path, that "other" road. But - would going back change things for the better? If going...

Truth · Truth

Just Practicing lol

debhud · debhud

hi everyone, my AS is enabled by my parents. they pay all of his bills and watch his child while he sleeps. they are there for him at the drop of a dime. he is their entire focus in life. (he doesn't work) 7 other grandchildren in the picture that my parents rarely notice as they are so addicted to my AS....

jacob53 · jacob53

I am fairly new to this board but have been in alanon for a while now and have been working on my recovery for many years. But it never fails that dealing with my original family members always seems to set me back so so much. I am so upset today and have been for days that I decided to post. My sister got marrie...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

It is now starting to sink in that the one person I called when anything really good or bad was going on is no longer just a phone call away or on this earth any longer. There was really something special about having her as a sponsor and being able to say anything and not be judged for it and loved through it a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT for today summarizes the first and second step. It reviews the difficulty of surrendering control and trusting that there is a power greater than ourselves that has any concern about us. I know when I first entered Al-Anon I did not have a faith in the Power Greater than MYSELF and for a num...

TulsaMom · TulsaMom

New to Al Anon... at my first meeting someone told me that maybe I was getting in the way of God and he had stepped up the problems for my daughter because she wasn't listening... really helped me... does anyone know where this quote comes from so I can read it? Thanks

slowlearner · slowlearner

Hello everyone. I have a question. I have been an enabler for years. Grew up with alcoholics and then married one. My self-esteem is so low. I'm a nervous wreck and hide in my comfort zone. My fight to excel above this situation is gone. I go to work and come home and sleep. I barely get the basics d...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

OMGOSH .. I am SOOOO glad I took the kids to see their grandma. MANY reasons why .. the biggest so I could see for myself what is going on .. Now .. she was in a bad way on Monday .. she has terrible COPD (however that is .. lol .. I get confused) ... she's been in and out of the hospital for the last 10 years usuall...

neshema2 · neshema2

So ok...I go on a short break to kinda get away, break up my being a part of the drama that went through here like a brush fire and I do teh ole step 4 again sponsor is with me, thank god she felt up to the task and also my sis who is ret. mental health counsellor.....anyway, i really got into the steps of aca - rep...

John · John

Overwhemed and Grateful. That's how I would best describe myself lately. My life, like any one else's here has its up's and down's. And it seems that the really big things don't bother me too much, but all the little things that I deal with on a frequent or fairly regular basis, do overwhelm me. Coll...

hotrod · hotrod

FYI I changed my avatar in anticipation of summer and the July 4th Holiday

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Struggling with what I'm currently doing. AH is still trying to control his drinking but he drinks throughout the day at times, just not enough to become drunk or obvious. I'm trying not to care and carry on but find myself trying to figure out his behavior so I know if son is safe with him outside (around...

Truth · Truth

K so today I am accepting responsibility for placing my trust into someone that was "showing" untrustworthy behavior. I am just wondering about moving forward. How will I know I am trusting the correct people? Would you think it would be if you set a boundary and they accept it?

salvie · salvie

Hi! I'm reading "How Al-Anon works" now. I part two "Al-Anon experiences", chapter 5 "A dual member copes with his mother's drinking" he tells :" I have been sober for 30 years". But later he tells:" After 13 years of sobriety, 13 years of Twelve Ste...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I fear my son. my fear is that I don't want to see him this way. I don't want to hurt so much for him. I don't want to see or hear him hurting. I ask myself how to I remove this......... I DON'T KNOW HOW and that is fear in itself.

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

Hi everyone! I hope that what I'm going to say makes sense.. In coping (or not coping) with my Qualifier...I find that I'm fearful of myself (not because I want to harm myself..I'd never do that!)..but I'm fearful of how angry I am towards myself for not coping with this better. Maybe this will help..I...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

my sponsor went to meet her maker at 8 pm tonight and she was surrounded by so much love. Her husband and I called our team of caregivers and we played music and told stories and with the moon shining off the lake out the back sliding doors we celebrated an amazing person leaving earth tonight. It was truly...

glad · glad

I haven't been on this board much over the last year. This morning as I read several post that all sounded so similar to my experience... The alcoholic lies, makes promises and then doesn't keep, blames it all on me, I'm angry and acting out with others etc. Yes, we are sick too because of the disease and I...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive been thinking about amends as I am planning to do some step work and work on step 8. I ahve made amends to my family through my changed attitude but I would like to make direct amends through an apology. However, I dont think anyone in my family would be comfortable with that. I imagine they will say no...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

When you think that it can't get anymore weirder .. My daughter text her dad to see about Father's Day visitation .. she gets back he can't as his mother is coming home from the hospital and so he will see them next weekend. Then proceeds to ask her if she's bored at home. The text I get is an awful picture o...

jm · jm

Hi..is there not a meeting on now?

Truth · Truth

I am in the process of getting my security system..... Yipee

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

It's been 3 years since I separated from my AH and a little over a year since his passing. I still think about him every day, but I'm moving forward. I've made new friends whom I never would have met if not for the way my life has turned out. I've recreated my life, and rediscovered my faith in my HP, whom I cal...

grateful2be · grateful2be

For all of you who are dads, or mentoring young people like a father might, or being a mom doing the work of both parents, I want to wish a happy time for you this weekend celebrating who you are and what you have been able to accomplish as a person who cares for a child. Happy Father's Day! -- Edited by gra...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I am powerless. Happy Fathers Day to all of the guys who are fathers here and else where and all of the mothers who are doing double duty, you are amazing. We are celebrating today, Saturday with my third son and his wife and daughters and I have memories of my other sons who are not here even when I wis...

JayBird66 · JayBird66

I'm living witha " productive(at least until 5pm) AH, my 13yr old daughter , and my 4yr old Son. Does anyone have any advice regarding explaining to my 13yr old what's really happening with her asshole A father? She absolutesly hates him because of how he acts while drinking, before drinking, a...

Needing Help · Needing Help

As I cry and write this I fight between my head and my heart. We have been married for almost 18 years and together for longer than that. Our marriage had it's normal set of ups and downs, but once the alcoholism/pain pills took over her life all hell broke loose. She had cheated on me with at least two ot...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I continue to contemplate staying or going. Yet, it has gotten more extreme. My AH is planning an overseas move. I had yet another conversation with him about how he is "ready" for therapy. He is waiting on our doctor, who is amazing and he met with a week and a half ago, to call him back with t...

George555 · George555

My wife came out of private detox a year ago. Before she went in I was physically and emotionally abusive towards her. I'd grab her arms and shake her or pin her down and scream at her. This has happened a number of time since she came out which has led up to her drinking again and has became dependant over t...

hopes314 · hopes314

I want to cry but the tears don't flow. My kids wonder why I don't cry about dad. I don't even know what is real. I hear my voice sayings things that I can't believe I am saying. I used to be nice and happy nowI am not sure what to feel. My husband said he quit drinking. I don't know what to believe because of...

Popcorn · Popcorn

So I have been actively going to al-anon meeting for a little over a month 3 days a week and I feel that it has really helped. I feel stronger and better about my self. I feel like I am in a better place. I tried al-anon a couple years ago and I just wasn't ready but I feel now I am. I'm actively looking for a sp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am sooo grateful .. I just heard from my atty and what we will be doing is on 7/1 I will be divorced .. the Judge is over the delays. STBAX has NOT provided any financials and we are just trying to go over what we can and base the offer about what we know about .. soooo it's just going to take some time and I will...

missmeliss · missmeliss

He is like a baby. Things have deteriorated so fast, I guess they probably haven't but i wasn't aware before, i was too busy reacting to see the whole picture. He lies on his mattress in his underpants all day playing computer games surrounded by empty bottles and shouts at me. It's my fault he lost his jo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All I have not tried to make contact with my son and he in turn has not called since the sentencing. I feel this guilt that I should reach out but again I don't want to. He hasn't reach out to me by calling so I have let it go. My thought is leave him alone to digest what is happening and not try...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

As some of you know I have done 12 years of home hospice private care and now I am glad to get to spend the time with my very own sponsor. She is an amazing lady and was released to go home and finish out her life on her terms. Her husband asked me to be a part of the care team and I am honored. She helped me through...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Today, my assistant and I finished cleaning two huge rooms in a local church building in the inner-City neighborhood where I hosted the oldest of my organization's children's programs. We've been working steadily in the humidity and heat throwing away dried up paint, sparkly glue, the lists of n...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So he hit me one too many times. He took my phone, smacked me in the head and would't let me leave the property, OMG I called the police and they took him away. Nothing makes sense. Nothing. He snarled and hated me so much as they took him, he was all sensible and woulnd't even look at me, OMG what have I done....

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been thinking a lot about how I am on the fence here "waiting" for A to get sober. At this point we are selling our house to move overseas. But in all reality, I am just ready to pay off our bills and to find an apartment while HE moves. That decision is still not a commitment though, cause I (...

1lostmom · 1lostmom

I have been doing so much better. I have been focusing on me and my daughter, going to meetings, hanging out with friends and spending time with family. I have been staying out of his drama, not instigating, de-escalating, backing off, letting things go instead of pushing And getting so much bett...

andromeda · andromeda

Well, my AH sat me down and had the, "I'm an alcoholic and you were right" talk. He admitted to his insanity, he praised me for being stubborn with my program and for holding the home and our lives together and for not kicking him out. He has found a sponsor and says he is ready to jump fully in t...

Truth · Truth

Lawyer says just say no. Starting to feel a little better. I got firm instructions from the lawyer. So of course this is going to escalate but I will be prepared.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New Here: How can I mourn her when she is still alive? (Preview) New Here. I just need a place to let loose where no one knows me or my sister. For seven years I've watched her fall into alcohol. It was subtle at first. I noticed she would never talk to me unless it was a crisis. No casual, "how are you?" or "what's new?" or "let's meet up&...	PaintItBlack	19	1321	Jun 19, 2014 by Jerry F
	A Rerun? (Preview) Maybe and maybe not and then there will be more maybe than not because a duck is a duck is a duck. Some of you might remember that part of my journey that included "Pinch and Roodie" the two duck chicks I rescued from my clients hotel who were abandoned by their mom. Well this one isn't named...	Jerry F	21	571	Jun 19, 2014 by Path to Serenity
	Today, I made my decision to move on (Preview) I visit this forum very often but don't post very often, but right now I just need to share (okay....vent). I feel like such a sucker. My ex and I broke up over a year ago due to his alcoholism. We have still been in contact and have even, at times, discussed the possibility of us getting back together if h...	LiveLaughLove	16	683	Jun 19, 2014 by LiveLaughLove
	scared new guy (Preview) Hi folks. I'm sure glad I stumbled across this site. I don't know how you determine when enough is enough, but it feels like I'm getting close. My wife left on Sunday to go to the beach with her parents while I stayed at home and kept working. I'm ashamed to say that it has been wonderful having her gone...	elmo7	10	411	Jun 19, 2014 by maryjane
	Charging money for helping someone who is depressed (Preview) I am helping out a person who was more of an acquaintance but is becoming more of a friend. She has been severely depressed. I have been helping her going on my 7th week. I'm there practically all day, everyday it seems. She is getting help so I don't feel I am enabling her by staying with her and helping her...	lucymae	17	434	Jun 19, 2014 by Debilyn
	Lesson in humility (Preview) I fooled myself for many years. I thought my spouse cared about me so much that she would get healthy and learn to control her addictions. NOT SO! Not even close. The addictions are her priority and let me learn this please. I cannot compete with them. Alcohol, food, and gambling, are so much more...	Lyne	10	472	Jun 19, 2014 by neshema2
	I broke my first bone.... (Preview) So I went roller skating with my kids at the park, which isn't that abnormal, we usually bike ride there. We play Frisbee golf there and go to the beach, but yesterday I fell roller skating and broke my right arm at the elbow, trying to catch myself. Of course it's my primary arm and I have to figure out how t...	Breakingfree	11	367	Jun 19, 2014 by pinkchip
	Making a moral inventory is hard. (Preview) I've been sitting here reading about Step 4 and thinking about the idea of making a moral inventory of myself. And it scares me. I don't really want to take a real deep look inside at myself because I'm afraid of what i will find. Will I find only emptiness. Maybe only bitterness and resentment. Or j...	slowlearner	8	770	Jun 19, 2014 by el-cee
	Anyone have a shopping problem as a coping mechanism? (Preview) I discovered the "high" of shopping when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I stole money from my father and went on a shopping spree. I've been doing it ever since and I will be 52. I don't steal money from anyone but I do steal from my husband and I lie and cheat with him. I know why I started this. It's...	lucymae	11	551	Jun 19, 2014 by barbaralewis
	I don't like when I feel this way (Preview) I have not been here in a long time. My husband was doing much better on his own. He found a good job and was happy. But for some reason in the past 2 weeks he is back to drinking AGAIN. I honestly do not know what gets into his head. His nasty attitude towards me is back and he actually blames me for his dri...	DebLisa55	12	678	Jun 19, 2014 by flinn66
	Just for today (Preview) I love to find proof that this program is truly a fellowship of equals . Inspired by "Slow Learners" use of the Just for Today bookmark , I have decided to follow her lead and take one portion of that little pamphlet and work it today. When I first came into program, I really loved t...	hotrod	5	264	Jun 18, 2014 by hotrod
	He wants a little bit of credit cause we had a nice day. (Preview) Lets forget for the moment that I had decided to move out. That no matter how hard I try, I DO love him. I am noticing (he is certainly pointing it out) that I am a negative nelly I do frequently point out the negatives. I will turn a positive conversation into a negative conversation. I am harping on him, a...	sadsusie	8	418	Jun 18, 2014 by tiredtonite
	14 Days and counting .. (Preview) Please keep the prayers coming because there is some wild stuff coming down the pipe. I have to let this go tonight and I'm soooo HOPING I'm wrong .. I sold the van a couple months ago and these folks got the van running and now are switching the title .. well .. there is a lien on the van .. now I did do some thi...	SerenityRUS	10	533	Jun 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	Oh Goody (Preview) Hi Everyone I thought I was OK with my COPD but I guess I'm not at night. The study shows my oxygen go's down below 80 and they said that's not good. So they are coming today to my house and check it out and set up oxygen for me. ??? Dang I don't need to start losing my health Oh and I just started a diet and t...	Cathyinaz	21	621	Jun 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	Plan for today... (Preview) Just for today... I am going to listen to my body and myself. I am going to listen for the times I am enabling. I am going to think before I speak or agree to something. I am not going to be the superachiever at work. But work well to the best of my abilities and not take on anyone else's projects and admit t...	slowlearner	11	367	Jun 18, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Hey JOHN dear! (c: (Preview) Is there any way an individual can make her sight of the board be like it was? I know I remember seeing an ascending and the other ,once? I am seeing posts from days ago first. Then I miss new ones. I am scrolling all over trying to find new ones. I hate to miss a newbies welcome! Also someone who I want to make s...	Debilyn	5	324	Jun 18, 2014 by Debilyn
	slogans are the gateway to the steps (Preview) My sponsor was telling me how the slogans are the gateway to the steps. Like practicing live and let live, saying it in your mind when you feel that need to get involved, is like practicing step 1. Do you use the slogans like this? -- Edited by el-cee on Tuesday 17th of June 2014 01:52:12 PM	el-cee	11	414	Jun 18, 2014 by hotrod
	So that didn't go to plan. ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) So, feeling kind sad but determined to keep it together, I was due to have my brother and his girlfriend visit yesterday for the weekend and I went ahead with that plan and just cautioned my brother that I might not be totally animated and excitable as I'd had a bit of a hard day but would be really pleased t...	missmeliss	93	1995	Jun 18, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Would you, if you could? (Preview) Have you ever wanted to go back in time, undo something you've done? As you get older, wiser (snort), you can name moments where you think to yourself, if only.... If only I could go back and take a different path, that "other" road. But - would going back change things for the better? If going...	likemyheart	16	575	Jun 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	NO NO NO NO NO (Preview) Just Practicing lol	Truth	13	451	Jun 18, 2014 by missmeliss
	years of watching enabling. i finally BLEW! (Preview) hi everyone, my AS is enabled by my parents. they pay all of his bills and watch his child while he sleeps. they are there for him at the drop of a dime. he is their entire focus in life. (he doesn't work) 7 other grandchildren in the picture that my parents rarely notice as they are so addicted to my AS....	debhud	8	514	Jun 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	New Some feedback or help at this point (Preview) I am fairly new to this board but have been in alanon for a while now and have been working on my recovery for many years. But it never fails that dealing with my original family members always seems to set me back so so much. I am so upset today and have been for days that I decided to post. My sister got marrie...	jacob53	4	335	Jun 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	Soaring on my own now.... (Preview) It is now starting to sink in that the one person I called when anything really good or bad was going on is no longer just a phone call away or on this earth any longer. There was really something special about having her as a sponsor and being able to say anything and not be judged for it and loved through it a...	Breakingfree	7	503	Jun 17, 2014 by Jerry F
	Alanon Daily Readers (Preview) The ODAT for today summarizes the first and second step. It reviews the difficulty of surrendering control and trusting that there is a power greater than ourselves that has any concern about us. I know when I first entered Al-Anon I did not have a faith in the Power Greater than MYSELF and for a num...	hotrod	15	407	Jun 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	Quote I heard... finding it (Preview) New to Al Anon... at my first meeting someone told me that maybe I was getting in the way of God and he had stepped up the problems for my daughter because she wasn't listening... really helped me... does anyone know where this quote comes from so I can read it? Thanks	TulsaMom	6	300	Jun 16, 2014 by TulsaMom
	How do I begin to gain strength? (Preview) Hello everyone. I have a question. I have been an enabler for years. Grew up with alcoholics and then married one. My self-esteem is so low. I'm a nervous wreck and hide in my comfort zone. My fight to excel above this situation is gone. I go to work and come home and sleep. I barely get the basics d...	slowlearner	11	553	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	LIAR LIAR .. (VENT!!) (Preview) OMGOSH .. I am SOOOO glad I took the kids to see their grandma. MANY reasons why .. the biggest so I could see for myself what is going on .. Now .. she was in a bad way on Monday .. she has terrible COPD (however that is .. lol .. I get confused) ... she's been in and out of the hospital for the last 10 years usuall...	SerenityRUS	15	476	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Dontcha know?? I gotta ASK b4 I can receive.... (Preview) So ok...I go on a short break to kinda get away, break up my being a part of the drama that went through here like a brush fire and I do teh ole step 4 again sponsor is with me, thank god she felt up to the task and also my sis who is ret. mental health counsellor.....anyway, i really got into the steps of aca - rep...	neshema2	29	566	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	One Bite At A Time (Preview) Overwhemed and Grateful. That's how I would best describe myself lately. My life, like any one else's here has its up's and down's. And it seems that the really big things don't bother me too much, but all the little things that I deal with on a frequent or fairly regular basis, do overwhelm me. Coll...	John	8	448	Jun 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	Avatar (Preview) FYI I changed my avatar in anticipation of summer and the July 4th Holiday	hotrod	8	243	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Is this wrong? (Preview) Struggling with what I'm currently doing. AH is still trying to control his drinking but he drinks throughout the day at times, just not enough to become drunk or obvious. I'm trying not to care and carry on but find myself trying to figure out his behavior so I know if son is safe with him outside (around...	Kerrymom	14	483	Jun 16, 2014 by milkwood
	Accepting Responsibility (Preview) K so today I am accepting responsibility for placing my trust into someone that was "showing" untrustworthy behavior. I am just wondering about moving forward. How will I know I am trusting the correct people? Would you think it would be if you set a boundary and they accept it?	Truth	17	390	Jun 15, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	How Al-Anon works book (Preview) Hi! I'm reading "How Al-Anon works" now. I part two "Al-Anon experiences", chapter 5 "A dual member copes with his mother's drinking" he tells :" I have been sober for 30 years". But later he tells:" After 13 years of sobriety, 13 years of Twelve Ste...	salvie	6	1348	Jun 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	Fear (Preview) I fear my son. my fear is that I don't want to see him this way. I don't want to hurt so much for him. I don't want to see or hear him hurting. I ask myself how to I remove this......... I DON'T KNOW HOW and that is fear in itself.	Cathyinaz	19	532	Jun 15, 2014 by Debilyn
	Fearful of myself & my actions towards others (Preview) Hi everyone! I hope that what I'm going to say makes sense.. In coping (or not coping) with my Qualifier...I find that I'm fearful of myself (not because I want to harm myself..I'd never do that!)..but I'm fearful of how angry I am towards myself for not coping with this better. Maybe this will help..I...	phoenixmagicgirl	8	397	Jun 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	It is done! (Preview) my sponsor went to meet her maker at 8 pm tonight and she was surrounded by so much love. Her husband and I called our team of caregivers and we played music and told stories and with the moon shining off the lake out the back sliding doors we celebrated an amazing person leaving earth tonight. It was truly...	Breakingfree	11	572	Jun 15, 2014 by Debilyn
	I got out of the tunnel ! (Preview) I haven't been on this board much over the last year. This morning as I read several post that all sounded so similar to my experience... The alcoholic lies, makes promises and then doesn't keep, blames it all on me, I'm angry and acting out with others etc. Yes, we are sick too because of the disease and I...	glad	6	364	Jun 15, 2014 by neshema2
	making amends (Preview) Ive been thinking about amends as I am planning to do some step work and work on step 8. I ahve made amends to my family through my changed attitude but I would like to make direct amends through an apology. However, I dont think anyone in my family would be comfortable with that. I imagine they will say no...	el-cee	12	5276	Jun 15, 2014 by neshema2
	You know .. (Preview) When you think that it can't get anymore weirder .. My daughter text her dad to see about Father's Day visitation .. she gets back he can't as his mother is coming home from the hospital and so he will see them next weekend. Then proceeds to ask her if she's bored at home. The text I get is an awful picture o...	SerenityRUS	6	415	Jun 15, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	meeting? (Preview) Hi..is there not a meeting on now?	jm	0	167	Jun 15, 2014 by jm
	One security system......check (Preview) I am in the process of getting my security system..... Yipee	Truth	13	484	Jun 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	Life Does Get Better (Preview) It's been 3 years since I separated from my AH and a little over a year since his passing. I still think about him every day, but I'm moving forward. I've made new friends whom I never would have met if not for the way my life has turned out. I've recreated my life, and rediscovered my faith in my HP, whom I cal...	Green Eyes	4	319	Jun 15, 2014 by hotrod
	Happy Father's Day Weekend (Preview) For all of you who are dads, or mentoring young people like a father might, or being a mom doing the work of both parents, I want to wish a happy time for you this weekend celebrating who you are and what you have been able to accomplish as a person who cares for a child. Happy Father's Day! -- Edited by gra...	grateful2be	15	472	Jun 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	I have wishes and still (Preview) I am powerless. Happy Fathers Day to all of the guys who are fathers here and else where and all of the mothers who are doing double duty, you are amazing. We are celebrating today, Saturday with my third son and his wife and daughters and I have memories of my other sons who are not here even when I wis...	Jerry F	7	428	Jun 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	Should I explain..... (Preview) I'm living witha " productive(at least until 5pm) AH, my 13yr old daughter , and my 4yr old Son. Does anyone have any advice regarding explaining to my 13yr old what's really happening with her asshole A father? She absolutesly hates him because of how he acts while drinking, before drinking, a...	JayBird66	9	494	Jun 15, 2014 by neshema2
	AW sober, but still cheating... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) As I cry and write this I fight between my head and my heart. We have been married for almost 18 years and together for longer than that. Our marriage had it's normal set of ups and downs, but once the alcoholism/pain pills took over her life all hell broke loose. She had cheated on me with at least two ot...	Needing Help	42	1285	Jun 14, 2014 by hotrod
	In effect I am being asked to choose between my recovery or his potential recovery (Preview) I continue to contemplate staying or going. Yet, it has gotten more extreme. My AH is planning an overseas move. I had yet another conversation with him about how he is "ready" for therapy. He is waiting on our doctor, who is amazing and he met with a week and a half ago, to call him back with t...	sadsusie	15	597	Jun 14, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Abuse (Preview) My wife came out of private detox a year ago. Before she went in I was physically and emotionally abusive towards her. I'd grab her arms and shake her or pin her down and scream at her. This has happened a number of time since she came out which has led up to her drinking again and has became dependant over t...	George555	12	864	Jun 14, 2014 by neshema2
	What is real anymore?i am insane! (Preview) I want to cry but the tears don't flow. My kids wonder why I don't cry about dad. I don't even know what is real. I hear my voice sayings things that I can't believe I am saying. I used to be nice and happy nowI am not sure what to feel. My husband said he quit drinking. I don't know what to believe because of...	hopes314	14	622	Jun 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	Dating An Active Drinker (Preview) So I have been actively going to al-anon meeting for a little over a month 3 days a week and I feel that it has really helped. I feel stronger and better about my self. I feel like I am in a better place. I tried al-anon a couple years ago and I just wasn't ready but I feel now I am. I'm actively looking for a sp...	Popcorn	7	663	Jun 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Start Praying now .. (Preview) I am sooo grateful .. I just heard from my atty and what we will be doing is on 7/1 I will be divorced .. the Judge is over the delays. STBAX has NOT provided any financials and we are just trying to go over what we can and base the offer about what we know about .. soooo it's just going to take some time and I will...	SerenityRUS	4	290	Jun 13, 2014 by Green Eyes
	the albatross (Preview) He is like a baby. Things have deteriorated so fast, I guess they probably haven't but i wasn't aware before, i was too busy reacting to see the whole picture. He lies on his mattress in his underpants all day playing computer games surrounded by empty bottles and shouts at me. It's my fault he lost his jo...	missmeliss	10	332	Jun 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	I need to ask about feelings (Preview) Good Morning All I have not tried to make contact with my son and he in turn has not called since the sentencing. I feel this guilt that I should reach out but again I don't want to. He hasn't reach out to me by calling so I have let it go. My thought is leave him alone to digest what is happening and not try...	Cathyinaz	19	855	Jun 13, 2014 by hotrod
	Doing hospice for my sponsor (Preview) As some of you know I have done 12 years of home hospice private care and now I am glad to get to spend the time with my very own sponsor. She is an amazing lady and was released to go home and finish out her life on her terms. Her husband asked me to be a part of the care team and I am honored. She helped me through...	Breakingfree	11	398	Jun 13, 2014 by neshema2
	Saying goodbye with gratitude (Preview) Today, my assistant and I finished cleaning two huge rooms in a local church building in the inner-City neighborhood where I hosted the oldest of my organization's children's programs. We've been working steadily in the humidity and heat throwing away dried up paint, sparkly glue, the lists of n...	grateful2be	14	452	Jun 13, 2014 by neshema2
	So I called the cops. (Preview) So he hit me one too many times. He took my phone, smacked me in the head and would't let me leave the property, OMG I called the police and they took him away. Nothing makes sense. Nothing. He snarled and hated me so much as they took him, he was all sensible and woulnd't even look at me, OMG what have I done....	missmeliss	38	892	Jun 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Doing nice things for me is all in relation to A's bad behavior. (Preview) I have been thinking a lot about how I am on the fence here "waiting" for A to get sober. At this point we are selling our house to move overseas. But in all reality, I am just ready to pay off our bills and to find an apartment while HE moves. That decision is still not a commitment though, cause I (...	sadsusie	8	356	Jun 13, 2014 by el-cee
	Hurting (Preview) I have been doing so much better. I have been focusing on me and my daughter, going to meetings, hanging out with friends and spending time with family. I have been staying out of his drama, not instigating, de-escalating, backing off, letting things go instead of pushing And getting so much bett...	1lostmom	4	354	Jun 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Bring on the recovery roller coaster (Preview) Well, my AH sat me down and had the, "I'm an alcoholic and you were right" talk. He admitted to his insanity, he praised me for being stubborn with my program and for holding the home and our lives together and for not kicking him out. He has found a sponsor and says he is ready to jump fully in t...	andromeda	24	469	Jun 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Lawyer says.... (Preview) Lawyer says just say no. Starting to feel a little better. I got firm instructions from the lawyer. So of course this is going to escalate but I will be prepared.	Truth	11	263	Jun 12, 2014 by grateful2be
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