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seems we really dont hear much about how to live with the A but more on how to focus on ourselves
(Preview)
I need to hear more about how to actively live with an alcoholic husband. Not how to shift the focus onto myself. How to connect to my husband, live with him happily, etc. I need to be told to spend time with my husband, join my husband & son when they fish, hang out on the deck with him and his friends (ev...
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Barbara
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7
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557
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do u relate?
(Preview)
I got a horrible call first thing this morn. Mil's sister, who I have never met, was very rude to me. Telling me I was NOT part of the family and to BACK OFF.
All I did was call and leave a message that mil had no cloths at the nursing home, and that mil's friend tried to go to the house to get some and mil's meth...
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debilyn
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4
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519
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Butterfly pin for 1 year in alanon
(Preview)
Thursday night my best friend and I got our butterfly pin in a celebration ceremony put on by our home group of alanon.
This pin was given to us for our one year anniversary in alanon.
The ceremony had an alanon speaker and an AA speaker and plenty of refreshments.
The butterfly story w...
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megan
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17
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1387
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When is it MY turn???
(Preview)
Lately I feel like everyone has permission to express thier feelings, to have excuses for their actions to have a free pass to do as they please whithout suffering the consequences, except ME. I feel like any time I express myself or just in general live my life, I can't turn around without getting hit....
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Emafer
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8
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563
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Time
(Preview)
I just realized I have been on this board for a total of 1 year, 2 months, 3 weeks, and 1 day! I've learned some things but I still have lots to learn.
Lanchas
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Lanchas
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2
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467
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Two days of insanity
(Preview)
(((hello friends))))
These past two days have been insane....hub checked out of the hospital yesterday. I picked him up and tok him to his dads.....hub was really out of it...I was worried but, left there to deal with it. Then he jut kept calling, he was telling me I have to get out of here....he doe...
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Andrea12
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8
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555
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Relax relax - how do you relax?
(Preview)
People are always telling me "you have to relax!"
Ive gotten back into reading fiction books, walk 30mins before work, 30mins after work, play catch w/DS most weeknights. This weekend with the nice weather finally coming Im planning on taking my book, my chair and myself to a nearby lake and just si...
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Barbara
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5
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503
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breathing
(Preview)
"It's not how many times you breathe in your life time, it is the number of times your life takes your breath away"
Are you doing special things in your life to allow to enjoy life enough to take your breath away?
Finding serenity and keeping it, is one way to ensure that you never lose one of these mome...
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jrtjosey
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8
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556
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Taking time for self...
(Preview)
It seems like forever since I have posted to this board or for that matter getting to a meeting. I certainly feel the difference in myself. Between computer problems, kids activities, and life in general, I have found very little time for myself. But I have found that there is hope...
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AlaMom
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5
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564
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name change- but still me
(Preview)
Hey-
I just joined up as wggk but decided to change it scota b/c my A. hubby is familiar with wggk and don't want him to go snooping and read my posts in case I leave this screen up by accident.
Wendy
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Scota
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4
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568
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memory of our Lois
(Preview)
Alanon co-founder Lois Lois would have bin 99years young on March 4'1990 She died Oct.5,1988 If she was still alive today she would have bin 115years old
Her life story has opened many doors for us.As I grew in AlAnon.I reserched manythings.I was interested in.Where Alanon started...In my reserc...
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angel123
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0
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515
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whoops
(Preview)
my ah just called. haven't spoken with him in a week. he has left messages but never called back. so he calls today. and i really let him have it. i didn't scream but i did tell him that he is a horrible person and i don't care if he has a disease or a mental illness. what he has done can never be undone. i told him...
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serendipity
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6
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467
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Summer is here
(Preview)
Well today was the last day of school for me--yeah! Summer is officially here for me. I am not teaching summer school, so I can take some me time. I will not be posting or getting online as much since I do all of that at school--I don't have internet access at home. That may have t...
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hudsond
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0
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391
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lifeline
(Preview)
I once posted about a skit we did at our convention and our aniversary party of Alanon,Found the words wanted to share..... *sung to the tune "I heard it through the Grapevine"(the california Raisins song)
Ooh ooh I bet you wonder how I knew bout the trips to get your booze All those nights I w...
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angel123
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2
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505
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ODAT
(Preview)
Begining each day with one day at a time. Today my computor net was down so I was sitting here with foot in cast tring ,to stay put for I can not walk on it.Patiences is the key word for me.I thought how the ODAT book One day at a time is looking so old.But it does show I use it often.Turning to pages I spend valua...
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angel123
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1
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539
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Need a break and having anxiety over it.
(Preview)
I think I'm due for a break from the hum drum routine, the A, and the kids. Some days I want to get in my car and travel to a remote beach area, check into a hotel and just relax for two whole days. I could use a week honestly, who couldn't right?
I hate to admit this to myself much less...
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twinmom2
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4
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569
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the next best thing!!!
(Preview)
can someone please share what this slogan means. It is not one that I understand.
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Gailey
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5
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567
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expectations, my experience
(Preview)
I was just thinking how i have NO expectations from my A. If I cannot accept him as is, then it is not being fair to him. I don't control him.
I don't control anyone. I watch and see how they are and then if I can be around them fine. If not, then I don't.
My sil is the meth user. She is real nice when she wants s...
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debilyn
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5
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543
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feeling better
(Preview)
Hi roomies,
I have been feeling really down all week. Then I went to my sons dance class. He is four and loves to dance. There big show was last saturday today was there last class for the year. There was a little girl there her father used to take her to every class. Tod...
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nikkilou
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2
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461
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In fear-dont know how to do "grownup" stuff
(Preview)
Allright, so my AH cant contact me for awhile in Prison. Its been 2 days and I am already freaked. My fridge broke this morning, my printer is out of ink, Im afraid to get the mail because of bills, my registration is due and car insurance, I cant get approved to visit him til I pay off an old $500 traffic tick...
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sarahlm
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4
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575
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5 minutes at a time
(Preview)
I started off today feeling very productive and like I had regained some of my dignity and my mental and emotional state were starting to return to "normal".
As the day has gone on, I have become very emotional about my A.
I have re-read my posts and I see agony, fear, desperation, anger, strength an...
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jennneeefffurrr
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7
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488
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Prayers and Blessings to All
(Preview)
Well, it seems the 1st impressions of me are not so good in the place I found to try to get support. I felt a need to work them out as I felt after effects from reaching out in a time of panic and desperation coming back to haunt me. I had wanted clarity in case I was misinterpreted when I was in such awful crisis...
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d53sjurne
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4
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624
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I DON’T KNOW HOW it’s evolved to this PART 3
(Preview)
Today, is my father’s 81’st B-day, it didn’t think he would be here; I’m Thankful to God, Thank you Lord.
I’m trying to stay focus on his care and my goal/boundaries of not speaking to the A in my life, as he needs a break, he said maybe in two weeks we can talk which will be June 5th (what the point...
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angelnomore
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3
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525
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Update on being a grownup and thanks for being here
(Preview)
I called a friend who is very grownup (the responsible kind of ACoA) and he bought me a new fridge at Best Buy (open box-total $400!) and I am going to pay it back in installments. He came over before we went and cleaned the dog poop for me while I got ready for work (and scolded her for me-I cant do it very well...
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sarahlm
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4
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472
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making ground
(Preview)
the last few days have been rough, but i have to say thank you all for listening. i have found peace in saying how i feel and not being made to feel guilty for feeling that way. mind you i'm on my first step and it seems 20 feet high. but i am sitting on top of it and it's only the begining. tomorrow's another day...
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jecy
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2
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430
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Hi-newbie
(Preview)
Hi,
I just joined this message board the other day, thought I'd post an intro. I've already posted in the ACA board as well.
I am married to an A, for 13 years now. Hubby is getting worse, so of course I am feeling more and more desperate. Right now I'd like nothing more to just end this marraige b...
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wggk
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10
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655
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It doesnt need to be one way or the other - finding balance
(Preview)
Last week I quit Curves, then I didnt go to Church. This entire week Ive been thinking of quitting AlAnon. Thinking maybe its actually holding me back from going forward with my relationship with A husband. Planning on returning a book I borrowed from an AlAnon friend tomorrow morn just in case I dont r...
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Barbara
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3
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547
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Prayer Request...
(Preview)
((((Family))))
I just found out that a young friend of ours who has been battling Lukemia is prognosis has been dropped to 2 wks to 2 months. He just finished a bone marrow transplant and things were looking very good. His parents and all of us really are just devistated.
He is 18 years...
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rtexas
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19
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549
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i can't stop crying
(Preview)
help me to pray that God's will is the correct will. help me to let it go. she'd rather visit her friends in arizona, california, new york, whereever. i don't want to drinki over it, but i have to stop crying. i haven't done anything. any suggestions? i've joined a gym, to work out my frustrations, i go to m...
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peanutb
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8
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728
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looks like I get to learn how to live with recovery
(Preview)
Well I was served a huge dose of acceptance yesterday.
Got a call the day before that my wife was do to discharge as insurance ran out. I bust my butt to see what I can do but then hit brick wall after brick wall.
Yesterday, I call and my A is enroute home. I attempt a restraining order and can't get on...
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bobump
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8
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520
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and the beat goes on....
(Preview)
A is in Jail dui's.
I finally had to go see him to get his power of attorney signed so I can get his stuff from his moms house. Mom is in nursing home now, heading to assisted living.
A very good thing. Meth daughter is being evicted from mil's house, good thing. My mil's friend tried to get cloths from mi...
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debilyn
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5
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455
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To clear up a bit of confusion
(Preview)
As many of you know, and now all of you do, my name is Sandy. Several have messaged me to ask if I am the same Sandy who posts here using that name. One or two have mentioned that while we don't sound like the same person, the name causes a bit of wonder. "Sandy" is not that uncommon. I am actually Alexandra, sh...
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Diva
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3
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534
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Good news!
(Preview)
Hi everybody. Well as you know, things have kinda sucked lately. Well I finally have some really good news. I gained custody of all three of my brothers and sisters! I'm so happy and excited. We can all finally have some stability. Anyway just thought I'd let everyone know!
Mir
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Miranda
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9
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507
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How was your day?
(Preview)
I wish to share with the Just For Today approach.
After reading a few posts here seems some have been down lately –I see a few members are noticing and sharing as a result. Hmmm...
I’m trying with this new way of thinking lately that no matter how crummy a situation is for that day -to think happy thoug...
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tea2
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11
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609
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Help !!! with map!!!
(Preview)
Problem: when I edit my info on map, my marker goes away!!
What do I do now?
Thank you, peeps....
Peewee
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peewee
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2
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415
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Am I putting too much pressure on A?
(Preview)
My A has clearly made some good progress in the last couple of days. He's attended meetings every evening since Tuesday. He said last night he feels this time is different for him. He said he feels very welcomed by the other people, which before he felt awkward like he didn't fit int...
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twinmom2
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5
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561
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need prayers
(Preview)
I am full of worry. I need prayers and positive thoughts that I my find comfort through this trying time. I don't want to go into details, but I too am praying for God's, comfort, wisdom, and mercy for both my a and myself. Thanks in advance.
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tippergirl
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7
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451
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Any Day Now....
(Preview)
Hi Everyone!!! 
It's been a LONG TIME Since I've posted here!! I couldn't remember my pass word!! <LOL> I finally found it in the back of my "secret journal" I started months ago, but fell away from it. It's been hidden in the closet for a few months now. ( GRRRRRRRR )!!! But I was still able to r...
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afmom03
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3
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459
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Finally
(Preview)
Well, after being missing for 3 months, my brother has finally shown up back at my mom's. He is extremely unhealthy. He's been doing crack, meth, using needles. He's about as close to death as you can possibly be without actually being dead. He is so skinny and probably only weighs about 8...
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Jayda
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3
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448
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Please say a prayer for me
(Preview)
I am sad today... Just a few days ago i wrote about how i was feeling numb. Well, today I am sad.. Not sobbing sad, but just blue sad .. ( you know the difference ) .. I guess it is part of this roller coaster we are on ..
I think we should seperate again, that scares me but i know it is the right thing.. My...
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Tammy
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7
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619
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What not to expect from others....
(Preview)
I receive a daily reading an Al Anon site. I felt todays fit so well with the recent thread on clarification about MIP that I wanted to share it.
~~~~~~~~~~
Today's thought is:
I can live for two months on a good compliment. -- Mark Twain
Newcomer At a meet...
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KathyS
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0
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442
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Fantasy & reality
(Preview)
Good Morning All,
Even though I have filed for divorce, and am ready to follow through there is this fantasy in my head of my AH finding recovery and living happily ever after together. I am afraid of the pain I will feel when this does not happen.
Why I believe this will not happen was confirmed last n...
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Jennifer
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4
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549
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having an epiphany
(Preview)
I am a fairly new to Al Anon, been joining the chat rooms but never really posted here or attended a f2f. During an online chat last night, I asked folks is it normal or common for your A to be nasty to your family (meaning my siblings/parents). It was a rough week for me this week...
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Taylor
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1
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531
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Hello again
(Preview)
Hi Everyone
It's been a long time since I posted, December I think.
It's been a rough year. My husband of 38 years just passed away 3 weeks ago. I could see it coming because he was so short of breath. He smoked 2-3 packs a day, more when he drank. He was also an "...
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sandy
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5
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443
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Guilt
(Preview)
OK so last week I set a boundary with my roomate. She kind of crossed my line and the folowwing morning I left her a message saying basically "When you don't respect my boundaries it makes me feel insignificant and stepped on." So ever since the entire incident happened I've been obsessing about it. It D...
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Emafer
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6
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727
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God problem
(Preview)
Hi roomies,
I have a question. My husband and I have been in a malpractice trail for the past two weeks. I did not lie. I put all my faith in God. Let go and let God. Well they came back today in the doctors favor not ares. I'm still crying and feeling out of control. ...
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nikkilou
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6
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520
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Defining Love
(Preview)
Is it normal to start healing, quit obsessing, completely detach and then question your love for your A?
My husband came to the house to meet with a lawyer regarding our "landlord". He was laying on the couch, and I went up to him and touched his leg, and said "hey you!" We were like...
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Jennfer32
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5
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478
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holy moly!! this is long even for ME
(Preview)
i was reading some posts and i have been noticing lately the PAIN , all OVER the world...like people just being SAD!!!!! i thought of my Ex and the good we had together, not just the bad....he was a sweet guy, funny as hell, and an alkie who did not want reco...
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rosie light shines
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3
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556
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Surviving Addiction
(Preview)
In case anyone is interested noticed that Dr. Phil has a primetime special on tonight about surviving addiction. It is on CBS at 8 pm EST. Looks to be about a couple dealing with the effects of alcoholism. Something I would like to watch anyway. Not sure how I wi...
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lebe27
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3
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810
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Attitude
(Preview)
Last night I had such a horrible attitude!! I was so angry with my ah. Not much was different. He came home and had been drinking, but he was not drunk. I was just so frustrated and hurt. After the way he was talking the night before I shouldn't have been surprised. I trie...
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hudsond
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5
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505
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My FEAR/Inspired by angelnomore
(Preview)
I responded to a topic started by angelnomore yesterday, the subject was relating to FEAR
I immediately heard BELLS going off in my head...my soon to be ex-husband, who is not my A but he is an a'hole, once told me "Fear is a great motivator." He is right.
FEAR has motivated me to do the following.......
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jennneeefffurrr
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3
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657
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YEAH!!
(Preview)
Some of you know I have been dealing with finals, accepting my husband is an A, his forced separation, etc. I have been so scared and shocked at the rug being pulled out from under me. 3 months ago I never would have thought me and my husband would be getting a separation. I was in it for the long haul and thou...
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sunny123
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5
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464
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thanks for the ESH and my reflection
(Preview)
I wanted to take the opportunity to thank those or you who replied with the gentleness and kindness that I have come to so appreciate in Al-Anon. To those of you who took the time to PM me, I am grateful.
I do believe that I did receive the clarification that I needed in order to "take what I like and...
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confused
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2
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674
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Understanding
(Preview)
Last year I learned the concept of detachment. For me it means knowing when the A is talking and being able to decipher whether it is the A talking or the person themselves. An example is if your mom is the A when your mom says something being able to decipher whether it is the A in her talking or the mother in...
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Lanchas
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5
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500
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Letting HIM Go...Terrified
(Preview)
I have decided to release my fears, depend on my God, set myself free and let my A go.
I had not spoken to him in 10 days, had not seen him in 14, yesterday I saw and spoke to him 4 seperate times.
It did not satisfy me. I felt humiliated every time. The things he said to me were degrading...here is some of it...
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jennneeefffurrr
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9
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568
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Where am I today....
(Preview)
Hello ((((Everyone)))),
I got a friendly reminder that I have not posted much lately... the question: how are things?
Well.... things are better, for me at least. This is the time of year when things are typically better, but I am trying not to dwell on that and just enjoy.
We have b...
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rtexas
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3
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490
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emotional sobriety - ODAT
(Preview)
Not really sure where I am today. Sometimes I am so sure that I want to reconcile with my AH and then fear kicks in. I have had some great awarenesses lately...
My AH is a good man, he is a supportive husband. == I can think back over the years all the times he told me that I was goo...
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confused
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2
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853
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Lots of feelings going on...
(Preview)
My A is going on day number 3 sober. He reconnected with some old AA friends last night and found the home group that he feels will give him the most support. I am going to my meeting tonight as well.
The last couple of days I have been really looking at myself and what I want for my life...
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twinmom2
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6
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476
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Heeee's Baaaack! AGAIN
(Preview)
Roller Coaster Roller Coaster, Where is the End?
My son called me yesterday @ 5:00 just as I was leaving work to tell me that his dad was home & could take him to karate so I didn't have to rush. I told my son to give him the phone. When he got on, I asked where he had been. He claimed that had gone jo...
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QOD
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4
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508
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Alanon and Marriage
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I recently sent a PM to a new member who thought maybe she was in the wrong place. Her husband is in recovery and she wants her marriage to work. She had stated that it seemed that the message on this board was to dump him.
I sent her a PM and she said that she wished someone would post a simila...
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Jeannie
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9
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793
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