The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last week I quit Curves, then I didnt go to Church. This entire week Ive been thinking of quitting AlAnon. Thinking maybe its actually holding me back from going forward with my relationship with A husband. Planning on returning a book I borrowed from an AlAnon friend tomorrow morn just in case I dont return. Ive been doing ALOT of step reading/journaling and think it got to be too much. Nice weather is here and I dont want to plan on spending all my Sat mornings inside at a meeting.
Now Im thinking it doesnt need to be all or nothing. If/when theres a rainy Sat morn why not return to the meeting? When Im facing needing to testify in July (havent been subpoened yet) why not return to a meeting? And when the fall weather returns why not return to Sat morn meetings?
It is when I feel this way that I need a meeting most. It is then that I need to throw myself into my recovery more to find the source of my discontentment. I know that my recovery enhances my relationship with my A husband. What holds me back from that relationship is usually something within me that I need to explore - and I can only do that when I am working my program actively.
I can tell you from experience that I did the popping in only when I needed to routine - it was more confusing for me. Every time hubs and I would get a little closer I would say I didnt need meetings. But all I was allowing him to do was to suck me back into the fold of his disease. I had just enough program info to make me dangerous. I had all the tools but no idea how to use them. I was using them as weapons and it only created more suffering.
The decision is yours - but I can tell you that I have seen great growth in you and hope that you stick with it.
__________________
Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
I get to thinking sometimes, "Why do I keep going to al-anon?" I don't have an active A in my life right now.....errrrrr.....hmmmmm..at least I dont LIVE with one! LOL
I have been coming now for 26 months and have grown so much.
I have on occasion had to miss a meeting or two due to other commitments in my life, and I have to tell you, I can feel it when I do. The meetings are just like a battery charger for me.
Even in the 2yrs I have been going to my ftf meetings, I see people who "come and go" . The come for a few meetings and then things seem to get better for them and they dont come anymore. Then sometime later they are back because of some "new" crises. Some, not all of them, say things about how they thought they didnt need it anymore...or they got too busy..etc etc. But mostly they wish they hadn't stopped coming because they were caught "off guard" by the latest crises.
Anyway, I guess what I am saying is Al-anon is the one place in my life that I can honestly say doesn't generate problems for me, but only offers solutions...oh and unconditional love! Anytime I find myself holding back from anything I have to look hard at why that is. And I am glad Al-anon gives me the tools to do that!
IMO, Alanon is an investment, like a savings account that earns interest. If you remove the investment or stop contributing to the fund, the investment is on hold or dwindles down to nothing.
Is there no other meeting you could attend? I understand, I wouldn't like Saturday mornings either, but I do believe that when I attend meetings that I walk away with something learned everytime.
It's so easy to backslide without them. Of course we retain some of what we learned, but the encouragement to move forward and stay strong isn't there.
It's your choice. No one can work the steps for you or make you work them. There is no one way to work it, but f2f meetings are certainly a huge part of recovery.
I believe there is no greater investment then the one I make in myself. .
Christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Anytime I find myself holding back from anything I have to look hard at why that is. And I am glad Al-anon gives me the tools to do that!