The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I finally had to go see him to get his power of attorney signed so I can get his stuff from his moms house. Mom is in nursing home now, heading to assisted living.
A very good thing. Meth daughter is being evicted from mil's house, good thing. My mil's friend tried to get cloths from mil's house and meth daughter threatened to push her off the porch.
After my visit with A husband, I went to get his stuff from mil's house. His nephew was there, let me in. I got his stuff. yikes meth sister comes home. I have my phone on 911 she begins to harass me gets in my face, I push the send...
The police got there in 4 min I am not kidding. They helped me get the stuff.
sigh.
I hate dealing with dysfunctional stuff. My A had told me to be ready to call police or ask them to come.
Anyway, when I went to the jail, I paid a notary to come there.That was ok, went well.
Then A and I talked. He was very healthy and handsome looking. Has gained weight. I said you need to live in jail. He said, "I know I do. I can guarentee you, if I got out right now I would get drunk."
He said this matter of fact. Not proud or evil. The truth. It was nice to get to see him. Not the drunk ,abusive, horrible, evil, demon, disease. He said, "when I saw the papers, I thought you were bringing divorce papers."
I said, "Why have you cheated on me?" He said, "WELL NOT IN HERE!" lol he said you get beat up if you talk about that in here. lol lol lol I laughed so loud and hard. lol
So that was pretty cool too. To see his humor back, and hear him laugh, what a gift. See why my staying married means so much to me? I surrendered my life to hp. I believe the Bible where it says I am not free to remarry unless he commits adultery or dies.
And I have found out why. I have learned so much, and feel a love so deep, that it never will go away. It has changed, where it does not kill me anymore. I learned to accept I do love my A, but that does not mean if I am freed that I won't be able to love another.
He was saying he has no idea what he will do. shelter? I said one day at a time uno. That is months away.
I said well you do have me. I am not going anywhere. He was shocked. But then he, of all people, knows what the disease has put me thru. To me, this is marriage. His is sick. I meant my vows. Now this is MY experience. I would never expect anyone else to feel this way. I also have my deep felt relationship with my hp, my whole life is what my hp tells me. So it is, well, easier for lack of a better word for me. I have a lot of support to cont. to be married.
I have my animals for as many years as is possble, dogs 14, I mean extra large dogs. I have pot bellied pigs who are 19. A farm pig, estersue who is 6. I mean thru sickness, owees, grumpies, etc. So why would I not do that for my husband? lol
smiling. Told him he is stuck with me. He is not a cheater so I really am.
so....anyway, I love alanon, I swear it should be taught in schools and colleges. I mean it. And you know what makes me mad? There is NO AA in the jail. I was shocked.
I wonder if I could start a group there. Well no I am not an A. hmmm Well maybe an alanon group?
hmmm thats a thought. well no better not. All I need is to have some jail bird find out where i live... badddddd idea debilyn bad.
Just found out mil's friend is going to be my mil's POA!!! I am so jazzed and happy! Her and I are good friends. So now we can keep her safe, and do things to make her life better!!
I guess meth daughter called the administrator and gave her H... I told them she would show her true colors earlier that day....
We had an app. with mil's doc this morn. meth daughter did not show up to pick up mil. AFTER I planned to go get here, meth daughter said NO I am doing it.. sigh. app. ended up being canceled but meth daughter did not know.
gads...I am so glad to be who I am, out here on my 5 acres with dogs as my in house family. OH and Luster, my protector pot bellied pig too....
I will have to be careful reading this board at work. You know what happens to hard core computer programmers found crying at their desk.... they hide the sharp objects and call the guys in the funny white suits.
Needless to say I was moved by your post. In the past 5 years I have really seen my actual wife only for 1 week. She was too sick to drink, then she got real sick from not drinking. But during that week I saw someone as sick as she was that looked familure, someone who could carry on a real conversation and someone that cared as much about me as I did for her.
I am glad you got that look at the man you love so much. That means alot to you I am sure... we all suspect they are in there... you have proof.
Take care of you ... I have to blow my nose and go to a meeting.
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
By the grace of our HP, I have come to love my W more deeply than ever, despite the pain and sorrow... because of it too. I feel very at peace and clear about this, whether something forces us apart or not, my love for her is deep and meaningful. In sickness and in health. I have some close friends who don't understand, why do you stay with her. I can only say what I have said here.
Debilynn--I can so relate to wanting to stay married. I have been married (yikes!) 4 times before this one. And this is truly the only man I have ever loved. We have had a rocky road to travel, but we always end up back in each other's arms.
Things in my life are so much better since I turned him over to HP and quit trying to run his life for him.
Thank God for Alanon and people like you. I am so glad to have you share your wisdom with a newbie like me. We are not alone!
I only wish one thing....I wish you would write more! You are a fantastic writer. I love your experiences you write about.
Am glad you got to see your A that way....that's the same reason I stay.
I love your posts. You always make me smile. It so nice seeing the true man we fell in love with. In mass. if you go to jail on DUI you have to go to AA ten meeting before you can get out. Here they have AA meeting in jail.
