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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Where am I today....
Post Info TOPIC: Where am I today....
rtexas


~*Service Worker*~

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Where am I today....
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Hello ((((Everyone)))),


I got a friendly reminder that I have not posted much lately... the question: how are things?


Well.... things are better, for me at least.  This is the time of year when things are typically better, but I am trying not to dwell on that and just enjoy. 


We have been out of town last week, went to the coast to do some fishing.  The whole family really enjoys that.  We had a good time, no major arguments.  Our oldest son (also A) was not able to go and he called friday evening and had a temper tantrum with my AW... That was about it.


Thought my meeting  this week was pretty fitting when someone started a discussion about actions not words.


We have not had a war each night about me joining the cult (Al-Anon LOL).  She says she has accepted that I will continue to do this.  Which is pretty easy since we have basically been out of town for 2 weeks.  But yesterday was the first meeting in 2 weeks and we didn't fight, but she was in shutdown mode.  At least it wasn't a war, I just don't have many of those left in me.


I guess what is going on now is that she see's me changing a bit at a time, and it makes her take note of things she would have ignored before.  Like my mother-inlaw didn't drink while we were at the coast.  My AW says her folks can't even be themselves around me any more.


Well, I guess that is one way to look at it.  Since they are aware of what's going on between us, my perspective is she didn't drink because of her, not me.  I didn't ask, and really don't think it's any of my business.  She's a grown woman and if she wanted a drink she should have ordered one.


I have talked to a person about sponsership, but I am not sure we really see eye to eye.  He seems to be a great guy, just has a really different backgroud from me in this.  Think I will keep looking.


Hope everyone has a peaceful day, you all deserve it!


Take care of you!



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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Gailey


~*Service Worker*~

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I was thinking the other day how weird it was that my son likes the fact that I go to Alanon. That at least shows me that he knows I have a problem dealing with him.

However, I'm sure the bottom line reason is that I stay out of his business more.

Yesterday my hubby said something to him about being in denial. His response was..."someone in denial thinks they don't have a problem"

Hmmmm!!!!

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Gail
kent_s


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As my uncle Harry, the colonel, used to say, "War is hell." He'd just start blurting that out at family get-togethers after he'd had a few drinks.

It is hell. I dread those arguments and the aftermath, to the point of doing myself harm to avoid them. It's a big thing for me, the power of that dread.

"...yesterday was the first meeting in 2 weeks and we didn't fight, but she was in shutdown mode."

My AW has done this a lot, despite going to her own AA meetings and both of us having gone through a lot together in recovery. One thing she has said that I think is close to the heart is that she feels guilty about it, that are lives a so "f**ked up" because of her and I have to go do all these things in order to be sane. (Man, she's got that wrong! It is a family disease, and I go to alanon meetings and work the Steps because I need to work on myself. As far as the sanity goes, to paraphrase Forest, "Sanity is as sanity does.")



But I wanted to mention her thought. It's probably at the bottom of your AW's heart, too. I recall it now whenever mine gets "down" about my steps or even if she gets angry. She's motivated by her fear that she's not good enough.

Just like me.

Easy Does It!

-K

P.S., here's an EXCELLENT read I stumbled on today (from Mothering Magazine, Yikes!!!) Thank you, Barbara!


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Lighten up or else!
Jennifer


~*Service Worker*~

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Nice to hear from you Rt, I was just wondering where you have been this morning. I'm glad you and your family had a chance to have a nice time together. I hope everything continues going well!


Jennifer



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