Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie · maresie

Next year it will one year since I moved out from the A. Not one year since I last spoke to him but one year since I took that irrevocable step of leaving him. I no longer feel grief stricken or rageful at the A. Certainly very angry but nothing like the rage I once felt. My life is far from comfortable but i...

glad · glad

I am learning that I don't have to feel guilty about things other people do. Even if those things hurt me, My hurt's in life are not punishments because of my bad decisions (lovely little bit of religious thinking stuffed into my head growing up) I'm officially kicking that out of my head!! And may need...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Hello (((family))) The very good friend I spoke of in the other posts is needing prayers to your HP please. His father and step-mother were in a very bad motor cycle accident Friday in Mississippi and are in the hospital there. Here is what he said on our myspace bulliten board: Just to let everyone know...

glad · glad

I've been posting and crying you all know that. Well it just dawned on me I may not have to struggle with the decision of staying or not alanon may do that for me... He seems angry I'm on this board right now. Slaming things around etc. Even though he said he didn't want to talk to me. ( and I have told him he ca...

Aloha · Aloha

Well, I wasn't able to get ahold of my sponsor last night. I left her a wacky message, though - but of course, she's an al-anoner, I'm sure it all made perfect sense to her whenever it is she got her message. After the message, I sat down and meditated and prayed. Falling back to my usual fail-safe, &qu...

glad lee · glad lee

Dear Family, I just got back from an al-anon group therapy meeting. It is facilitated by a retired rehab counselor who also authored a book on addiction. I feel so hurt because he called on me (after someone shared how grateful they are for their husband)....and I shared how I felt a twinge of jealou...

Tracy · Tracy

can anyone tell me how to get into the chatroom have tried link on main page. I have also gone on link from sticky's post don,t seem to be able to aqccess it thanks

Christy · Christy

http://www.soulfulliving.com/the_shadow_process.htmEach of us must make the conscious choice to step out of the belief that we are victims of our lives and open up to the possibility that we have created our particular circumstances for a reason. We...

glad · glad

Not as strong as some of my alanon friends. Don't know if I ever will be. Not as strong as the women I see here that have real issues like husbands cheating or beating them. Still feeling sorry for myself anyway. Tried to talk to BF tonight. Didn't go about it right for sure. But even if I had not sure the resu...

Tracy · Tracy

Wow this is so hard I don't know what to do with myself. He keeps entering my mind all the time I do love him my AB. However when he comes into my mind I tell myself to focus on me I am the only person I can conrol. I must admit my life seems a lot more manageable already without him here I have more money, more f...

ally · ally

((((((Guys)))))))) For so long in my life i have accepted who everyone else wanted me to be. Blended in according to their wishes. Pleased everyone by doing what they asked. As opposed to saying no, and risking confrontations with them. I was a people pleaser, always finding happiness in doing f...

Codependent · Codependent

I have noticed that the A has a great deal of compassion for his fellow cell mates. He genuinely seems to "care" about their needs and frustration. I also noticed in some of the responses to my post that others of you have noticed that your A also seemed to give or want you to give to their &quo...

DeadOrAlive · DeadOrAlive

I am hate, hate, hating weekends these days. Number one irritation is my AH and my teen sleep and sleep. The place is a mess and during the week school and work takes up sp much energy. My AH used to always go out for most of Sat./Sun. and I would wake up my son and get the whole place cleaned up. But wakin...

nmike · nmike

Thanks to you all for being there for me and the rest of us Alanoners and the Alanoners that don't know they need us. I come here and post with my "big and heavy" burdens and you always help me up when I can't do it for myself. There is such power in our experience, strength and hope. Just because I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just wanted to say Hi to everyone! My sleep is getting better! Before, I was having a lot of trouble sleeping but I can say that today I actually slept in and feel rested. Thanks everyone for giving me the chance to air out some things I may not have been able to, GB you all! Kathleen

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Last night was awful. Mark asked if he could go pub and my heart sank. Then I said why did you buys cans and then go pub we dont have the money then I said he couldnt go till leah was in bed. I know I so naughty for controling it. When he did go I didnt make a fuss. I realised what I did wrong so I didnt nag. I just give...

glad · glad

If anyone saw my post about barking dog that is driving me insane someone suggested giving him peanut butter. I made the worlds thickest pb sandwich and thew it over fence. For about 90 seconds I had peace. Now he is at it again, not as loud or as much but still woofing about every 20 seconds, for about 10 se...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Last week end my A hit me. he was drunk at the time. It all started when we got in bed i pulled the covers off him and he punched me 6 or 7 times in the leg. I was under the cover so it didnt hurt too much in fact my feelings were hurt more. I have a little bruise nothing huge. After he did it he said you cant get me in t...

serenity62 · serenity62

APRIL BUSINESS MEETING MINUTES: MIP APRIL MINUTES: Chair opened with the Serenity Prayer, 1st on agenda was Secretary report: Minutes from the March 2, 2008 were approved as written......... Next on agenda was treasury report: no report available due to dot being ill. Next on agenda is old b...

Leetle · Leetle

I was hoping this was in my area. It isn't, but is in Minnesota, Florida, Oregon, MY and Illinois in the coming months. Here is the link to the Hazeldon website with details on the conference and dates for anyone interested. http://www.hazelden.org/web/go/womenhealing

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all need some feedback really confused. I have been doing research around co dependency, enabling etc. It seems like everything I have been doing for my A enabling him etc, has been to get my own needs me. I am that insecure I give my all hoping to be loved plus I feel superiour. That is horrible. Accor...

John · John

During a recent trip to Houston, Texas I was asked to speak at the recovery house that I got clean and sober at 18 years ago. I have created a video using a portion of that meeting, with some of other content. It is my hope that some of you will enjoy this 29 minute video I created for the guys in my recovery hou...

Aloha · Aloha

Despite that I may have had a not-so-great day yesterday, I really am feeling that attending Al-anon meetings frequently is really helping me a lot. Monday night was my fifth evening meeting in a row, meaning I went Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday to meetings. The Saturday meeting was...

glad · glad

For the third day in a row I was feeling down obsessing over A and how his issues make me feel. (back in that little box running around like a little mouse that can't get out). Anyway then my 23 year old daughter calls and says she found the perfect wedding dress and "doesn't know what happened"...

Aloha · Aloha

Had a pretty powerful ACA meeting last night. I got to one point where I was reading from the "From Survival To Recovery" book, and came to a point where a woman's AH had died and she just felt relieved. I very painfully and tearfully admitted during the meeting that I sometimes felt that wa...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello MIP Friends))) It has been a long while since I posted anything.... I had ventured out into other areas of recovery and found a great deal of contentment... but still missed my MIP friends and all the E,S, and H I gathered here over the past two years. A great many things have happened in my life...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I am exhausted and in a lot of pain right now; having found yesterday's PMP session utterly draining. On top of that I have to add another set of strengthening exercises on a daily basis this week as well as completeing the stretching exercises on a daily basis. It amounts to about two hours of exe...

BooBoo313 · BooBoo313

Since I'm a relative newbie, I'd like some clarification. I'm reading in the literature that I'm not to blame for my situation--its the disease, but then I hear the labels of enabling and co-dependency being used. Could I get some help defining "enabling" and "Co-dependence&qu...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am due to return to the general vicinity of where my AH lives. Where I used to live. All the people I used to know, who used to know the AH and I. I am scared. One of the things I am most afraid of is the yelling. I have been having massively painful feelings of being yelled at by the AH for the majority of ou...

Suzannah · Suzannah

For a long long time I did not realise that I had any anger at all. I was in denial. However, as time has passed and the longer I have been here in this family, I realise that I was angry over many things, events, and situations in my life as a result of the powerlessness I had over the A and alcohol. I turned t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I missed a call from the A yesterday at 4:45. He called to say that they let him out of jail again, not sure how that happened considering he has warrants in Wilmington for about 4 or 5 other charges and 2 missed court dates. When I talked to his PO he said that he would be transferred over there after he was...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Yes, Dorthy was right...there is no place like home...And that's exactly where I am...I'm home...with Michael... Yesterday was a very LONG, TRYING day. It started out good..kind of... He was driving me to the allergist because the kids were getting tested. My daughter is thankfully not allergic t...

roxygirl · roxygirl

When my son gets upset, he goes into a rage! I don't know what to do? If I feed into the rage of course it escalates and we end up arguing and it goes no where. However, If I detach, and remain calm it seems he feels he has won and he continues to be abusive and loud. Then I feel I have been walked on and abused....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I'm on my way home from work yesterday the phone rings I answer it and it's him (to answer your question debilyn, the display is broken on my phone and I never know who it is till I answer...) Anyway, I have found that my tolerance for his behaviors has pretty much disappeared. He starts off the conver...

desperate for help · desperate for help

I have given him chance after chance after chance!!! I am so done with it all! Why do I continue to put up with it? WHy do I continue to allow myself to be so miserable? Why do I keep calling my attorney to finally say, "OK.I'm ready to file for the divorce", but keep hanging up? I think the la...

Sue64 · Sue64

Hi Everyone! I just joined tonight and here's my story. My hubby, who I married last year, is a definite alcholoic. He was diagnosed with diabetes last year, suffers from depression and hypertension. He seemed to be doing ok, adjusting, and swore of drinking (at that point, I didn't think he had a...

kes · kes

My sister the drunk wanted to confront her 13 yr old son about stealing from her. Tommorow is 1st day back at school from holidays in australia, he's booked into counselling there, he's angry at her and does this stuff because of her - but doesn't really know what is swrong with her. Not a good time to conf...

ddub · ddub

I wanted to share a recent experience for me with detachment for my review of what I learned and get more ideas or actual examples of detachment that has worked for you. At first, I understand now, I taught myself detachment so I would just stay out of the way, leave if I could, not react, minimize conv...

roxygirl · roxygirl

My son is a 24 year old alcoholic. He has so much anger and when he expresses it it comes out as ugly RAGE all the time!! What is the rage about? The littlest thing I say sets him off and he just explodes and yells and he is so mean and ugly!! Does anyone experience this behavior and if so how do you deal with...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Well ummm yeah. LOL. He hooked me again and I fell for it. Sheesh, when did I get so easy? My hub called me at work and asked me what the kids and I were doing at 6. I said not much. He asked if we would come down to his work and he would buy the kids dinner. I said sure. I got excited he wanted to see the kids. H...

Tracy · Tracy

Wow Thankyou Tom for suggesting that I google toxic love. When my marriage ended I ran from the pain into this relationship with the A which has lasted for 3 years due to my fear of being a lone and blaming myself for husbands addiction. I know I am not to blame and I don't think I learn't my lesson first tim...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

My 30 year old alcoholic/addict daughter had called late last week to let me know she had court on the 9th, and there was a good chance she'd go back to jail. I don't call her anymore as she usually doesn't have a phone, moves so often I never know where she is, and honestly, we have nothing in common. I didn'...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Each day I find I challenge Heartbroken to stay away by my resolve to stand in the light, as Jerry encouraged me to do.Each day I find that Heartbroken does not break me as I choose to follow my programme and detach from the past and live in the present.Each day I see Heartbroken has been conquered when I fi...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))))), Just to let you know I am taking a small break from the board. Everything's ok. I have spent so much time taking care of hubby after his surgery this past year. (He would do the same for me.) I just need to concentrate on a few things. I am in the process of switching doctors to c...

raid3rgirl · raid3rgirl

This is my first post and I just joined a online group yesterday. I have a AH that I have been married to for 19 years. I am frustrated with the amount of money he spends from our account. I exported it today to see the amount on a weekly basis and it sickens me. I ordered the books recommended so I have not...

glad · glad

okay, to be honest I have seen progress and to be honest I am acting like a butt because I want old stuff resolved and I feel down. Today ( right now ) I will go read some of my alanon stuff- try not to focus on if I should leave the relationship or not and try to get to work on time. I want to share with you guys that...

Aloha · Aloha

Yesterday I actually got to watch two different people get caught up on the obsession loop. The glorious thing about it was that I didn't join in - and on top of it, I recognized it for EXACTLY what it was and kind of laughed to myself quietly, thinking... "Oooooh. So THAT's what I must look like wh...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Hi guys, I am a few weeks away from returning to the general vicinity of where my AH lives. We will not be living together (thank god) but we will be within closer proximity. I am having a wide range of responses, as you can imagine. Just kinda riding it out, not reacting (or acting in any way), just observi...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all I am really happy I found this site. I have been attending meetings since Nov this programme has helped me more than I can say. I am still having probs picking up the phone so this site is a god send to me. Well heres my story. Been with my current partner for three years was with a compulsive gamble...

raid3rgirl · raid3rgirl

Hi there, I am new to the group and would like to share my story. I have been married for 19 years and with my husband for 23 years. We met when I was 14 and he was 15. We had our first child at the age of 17 and it has not been easy. He has always drunk beer and when our 3 kids were younger I remember he drank mor...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Laugh out loud!! Had a busy day yesterday from morning after the Super Saturday AFG meeting thru some business then over to some service work at the assembly and then home. I called my wife and asked about the plans my Son and his wife had about kite flying. It was still on. I haven't flown a kite sinc...

HopeinVA · HopeinVA

I think tonight was that "aha" moment for me. After so many crappy things that have happened over the past year with my A husband I think this probably made me finally face reality. The reality that I will probably be a single mom. Never in a million year would I have thought that I would be i...

DeadOrAlive · DeadOrAlive

First a thank you to all who responded to my post about my feelings about my teen. When I shared them with my AH (last night, big mistake) he proceded to berate me, telling me I had "used" my son as an "asexual partner". I hate him. Why is he so mean to me? Did I use my son or did I devot...

glad · glad

Ugggguh!! After staying up late last night we were looking forward to sleep,new neighbors just moved in yesturday and evidently have a big dog, that likes to bark, all the time. Woke us up last night. Had a very nice breakfast with our / woops my adult daugher, did a few little things around the house an...

ally · ally

((((((((((((Guys))))))))))) Found this video, didn't know she had made this song, Is she and recovering A??? Anyone know...I think shes Fab!!! And I don't know This could break my heart or save me Nothing's real Until you let go complet...

sadako · sadako

my A. boyfriend is leaving me. or then again, he's not. i am so confused!!! he's always used "i'm leaving" more as a communication technique rather than a real statement of ending the relationship. problems with intimacy and commitment, he's said. for all the years we've been together he...

wishing13 · wishing13

When I first met my Husband, I looked into his eyes and knew that I wasnt supposed to be anywhere but right here. I felt that way for a long time, like our love, and our love alone could conquer anything. Slowly his drinking became heavier (or that I knew of anyway), I began to grow and realize what was reall...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Sunday night's meeting topics were Facing Reality, Fantasy/Illusion, and Owning our choices. Here is my share :) I was flipping through the index of c2c (Courage to Change) last week trying to think of topics to offer to the group. And the first two jumped right out at me. The last one my wonderf...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I hate that I am so scared, even though I know much of my fear is based on prediction and what could/will be, not fact. Had the perfect office manager, more than just experience and skill, she had been married to an addict/a. She refused to be an enabler for my AH. He made her crazy and she could...

Just For Now · Just For Now

I was talking to my AH about his daughter attending birthday/slumber party. He mentioned that his daughter began the topic conversation of "pot" that one of the other children had said the parents were doing at the party. I was completely appaulled!!!! I have a severe NO TOLERANCE for d...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	one year on new goals, new life (Preview) Next year it will one year since I moved out from the A. Not one year since I last spoke to him but one year since I took that irrevocable step of leaving him. I no longer feel grief stricken or rageful at the A. Certainly very angry but nothing like the rage I once felt. My life is far from comfortable but i...	maresie	6	561	Apr 14, 2008 by maresie
	From my head to my heart! (Preview) I am learning that I don't have to feel guilty about things other people do. Even if those things hurt me, My hurt's in life are not punishments because of my bad decisions (lovely little bit of religious thinking stuffed into my head growing up) I'm officially kicking that out of my head!! And may need...	glad	3	438	Apr 14, 2008 by round3
	My friend needs your prayers please (Preview) Hello (((family))) The very good friend I spoke of in the other posts is needing prayers to your HP please. His father and step-mother were in a very bad motor cycle accident Friday in Mississippi and are in the hospital there. Here is what he said on our myspace bulliten board: Just to let everyone know...	JenniferN	1	459	Apr 14, 2008 by rtexas
	oh my gosh! realized something (Preview) I've been posting and crying you all know that. Well it just dawned on me I may not have to struggle with the decision of staying or not alanon may do that for me... He seems angry I'm on this board right now. Slaming things around etc. Even though he said he didn't want to talk to me. ( and I have told him he ca...	glad	2	452	Apr 14, 2008 by glad
	Amazing how many times ODAT applies to what I'm feeling (Preview) Well, I wasn't able to get ahold of my sponsor last night. I left her a wacky message, though - but of course, she's an al-anoner, I'm sure it all made perfect sense to her whenever it is she got her message. After the message, I sat down and meditated and prayed. Falling back to my usual fail-safe, &qu...	Aloha	5	683	Apr 14, 2008 by Aloha
	Recovering from meeting (Preview) Dear Family, I just got back from an al-anon group therapy meeting. It is facilitated by a retired rehab counselor who also authored a book on addiction. I feel so hurt because he called on me (after someone shared how grateful they are for their husband)....and I shared how I felt a twinge of jealou...	glad lee	11	481	Apr 13, 2008 by Jen
	want to chat (Preview) can anyone tell me how to get into the chatroom have tried link on main page. I have also gone on link from sticky's post don,t seem to be able to aqccess it thanks	Tracy	1	386	Apr 13, 2008 by Christy
	The Shadow process (Preview) http://www.soulfulliving.com/the_shadow_process.htmEach of us must make the conscious choice to step out of the belief that we are victims of our lives and open up to the possibility that we have created our particular circumstances for a reason. We...	Christy	12	2608	Apr 13, 2008 by paulaque
	Okay guys I'm not working it tonight! (Preview) Not as strong as some of my alanon friends. Don't know if I ever will be. Not as strong as the women I see here that have real issues like husbands cheating or beating them. Still feeling sorry for myself anyway. Tried to talk to BF tonight. Didn't go about it right for sure. But even if I had not sure the resu...	glad	3	509	Apr 13, 2008 by lin0606
	Concentrating on myself (Preview) Wow this is so hard I don't know what to do with myself. He keeps entering my mind all the time I do love him my AB. However when he comes into my mind I tell myself to focus on me I am the only person I can conrol. I must admit my life seems a lot more manageable already without him here I have more money, more f...	Tracy	2	499	Apr 13, 2008 by lin0606
	I AM WHAT I AM... (Preview) ((((((Guys)))))))) For so long in my life i have accepted who everyone else wanted me to be. Blended in according to their wishes. Pleased everyone by doing what they asked. As opposed to saying no, and risking confrontations with them. I was a people pleaser, always finding happiness in doing f...	ally	5	313	Apr 13, 2008 by ESH
	They give to others (Preview) I have noticed that the A has a great deal of compassion for his fellow cell mates. He genuinely seems to "care" about their needs and frustration. I also noticed in some of the responses to my post that others of you have noticed that your A also seemed to give or want you to give to their &quo...	Codependent	12	450	Apr 13, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Resenting (Preview) I am hate, hate, hating weekends these days. Number one irritation is my AH and my teen sleep and sleep. The place is a mess and during the week school and work takes up sp much energy. My AH used to always go out for most of Sat./Sun. and I would wake up my son and get the whole place cleaned up. But wakin...	DeadOrAlive	4	660	Apr 13, 2008 by cookie1971
	Did I remember to say thanks? (Preview) Thanks to you all for being there for me and the rest of us Alanoners and the Alanoners that don't know they need us. I come here and post with my "big and heavy" burdens and you always help me up when I can't do it for myself. There is such power in our experience, strength and hope. Just because I...	nmike	5	577	Apr 12, 2008 by cookie1971
	Hi! (Preview) Just wanted to say Hi to everyone! My sleep is getting better! Before, I was having a lot of trouble sleeping but I can say that today I actually slept in and feel rested. Thanks everyone for giving me the chance to air out some things I may not have been able to, GB you all! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	4	404	Apr 12, 2008 by cookie1971
	Last Night (Preview) Last night was awful. Mark asked if he could go pub and my heart sank. Then I said why did you buys cans and then go pub we dont have the money then I said he couldnt go till leah was in bed. I know I so naughty for controling it. When he did go I didnt make a fuss. I realised what I did wrong so I didnt nag. I just give...	mum2leahnjosh	3	335	Apr 12, 2008 by ESH
	Bassett hounds eat really fast! (Preview) If anyone saw my post about barking dog that is driving me insane someone suggested giving him peanut butter. I made the worlds thickest pb sandwich and thew it over fence. For about 90 seconds I had peace. Now he is at it again, not as loud or as much but still woofing about every 20 seconds, for about 10 se...	glad	3	409	Apr 12, 2008 by glad
	Not again (Preview) Last week end my A hit me. he was drunk at the time. It all started when we got in bed i pulled the covers off him and he punched me 6 or 7 times in the leg. I was under the cover so it didnt hurt too much in fact my feelings were hurt more. I have a little bruise nothing huge. After he did it he said you cant get me in t...	mum2leahnjosh	7	510	Apr 12, 2008 by lin0606
	April Business Meeting Minutes: (Preview) APRIL BUSINESS MEETING MINUTES: MIP APRIL MINUTES: Chair opened with the Serenity Prayer, 1st on agenda was Secretary report: Minutes from the March 2, 2008 were approved as written......... Next on agenda was treasury report: no report available due to dot being ill. Next on agenda is old b...	serenity62	0	402	Apr 12, 2008 by serenity62
	Women Healing Conference (Preview) I was hoping this was in my area. It isn't, but is in Minnesota, Florida, Oregon, MY and Illinois in the coming months. Here is the link to the Hazeldon website with details on the conference and dates for anyone interested. http://www.hazelden.org/web/go/womenhealing	Leetle	1	249	Apr 12, 2008 by ddub
	Conditional love (Preview) Hi all need some feedback really confused. I have been doing research around co dependency, enabling etc. It seems like everything I have been doing for my A enabling him etc, has been to get my own needs me. I am that insecure I give my all hoping to be loved plus I feel superiour. That is horrible. Accor...	Tracy	4	2456	Apr 11, 2008 by maresie
	Video - Letting Go, Letting God (Preview) During a recent trip to Houston, Texas I was asked to speak at the recovery house that I got clean and sober at 18 years ago. I have created a video using a portion of that meeting, with some of other content. It is my hope that some of you will enjoy this 29 minute video I created for the guys in my recovery hou...	John	3	699	Apr 11, 2008 by maresie
	Frequent meetings - they DO help (Preview) Despite that I may have had a not-so-great day yesterday, I really am feeling that attending Al-anon meetings frequently is really helping me a lot. Monday night was my fifth evening meeting in a row, meaning I went Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday to meetings. The Saturday meeting was...	Aloha	6	528	Apr 11, 2008 by Jean4444
	Daughter writes 1200 hot check And it's a good thing! (Preview) For the third day in a row I was feeling down obsessing over A and how his issues make me feel. (back in that little box running around like a little mouse that can't get out). Anyway then my 23 year old daughter calls and says she found the perfect wedding dress and "doesn't know what happened"...	glad	1	404	Apr 11, 2008 by maresie
	Why do they say the things they say... (Preview) Had a pretty powerful ACA meeting last night. I got to one point where I was reading from the "From Survival To Recovery" book, and came to a point where a woman's AH had died and she just felt relieved. I very painfully and tearfully admitted during the meeting that I sometimes felt that wa...	Aloha	10	684	Apr 11, 2008 by Sue64
	Been taking a break... but wanted to say hi (Preview) (((Hello MIP Friends))) It has been a long while since I posted anything.... I had ventured out into other areas of recovery and found a great deal of contentment... but still missed my MIP friends and all the E,S, and H I gathered here over the past two years. A great many things have happened in my life...	twinmom2	4	533	Apr 11, 2008 by rtexas
	EXHAUSTION (Preview) I am exhausted and in a lot of pain right now; having found yesterday's PMP session utterly draining. On top of that I have to add another set of strengthening exercises on a daily basis this week as well as completeing the stretching exercises on a daily basis. It amounts to about two hours of exe...	Suzannah	5	503	Apr 11, 2008 by cookie1971
	Enabling and Co-dependence (Preview) Since I'm a relative newbie, I'd like some clarification. I'm reading in the literature that I'm not to blame for my situation--its the disease, but then I hear the labels of enabling and co-dependency being used. Could I get some help defining "enabling" and "Co-dependence&qu...	BooBoo313	11	1769	Apr 10, 2008 by round3
	The Yelling (Preview) I am due to return to the general vicinity of where my AH lives. Where I used to live. All the people I used to know, who used to know the AH and I. I am scared. One of the things I am most afraid of is the yelling. I have been having massively painful feelings of being yelled at by the AH for the majority of ou...	Jean4444	26	575	Apr 10, 2008 by round3
	Anger - management and denial and release (Preview) For a long long time I did not realise that I had any anger at all. I was in denial. However, as time has passed and the longer I have been here in this family, I realise that I was angry over many things, events, and situations in my life as a result of the powerlessness I had over the A and alcohol. I turned t...	Suzannah	4	2698	Apr 10, 2008 by paulaque
	Somehow he got out of jail... (Preview) I missed a call from the A yesterday at 4:45. He called to say that they let him out of jail again, not sure how that happened considering he has warrants in Wilmington for about 4 or 5 other charges and 2 missed court dates. When I talked to his PO he said that he would be transferred over there after he was...	carolinagirl	7	615	Apr 10, 2008 by maresie
	There's No Place Like Home (Preview) Yes, Dorthy was right...there is no place like home...And that's exactly where I am...I'm home...with Michael... Yesterday was a very LONG, TRYING day. It started out good..kind of... He was driving me to the allergist because the kids were getting tested. My daughter is thankfully not allergic t...	JenniferN	2	370	Apr 10, 2008 by maresie
	HOW TO HANDLE RAGE?? (Preview) When my son gets upset, he goes into a rage! I don't know what to do? If I feed into the rage of course it escalates and we end up arguing and it goes no where. However, If I detach, and remain calm it seems he feels he has won and he continues to be abusive and loud. Then I feel I have been walked on and abused....	roxygirl	4	464	Apr 10, 2008 by twinmom2
	Why can't he just leave me alone? (Preview) So I'm on my way home from work yesterday the phone rings I answer it and it's him (to answer your question debilyn, the display is broken on my phone and I never know who it is till I answer...) Anyway, I have found that my tolerance for his behaviors has pretty much disappeared. He starts off the conver...	carolinagirl	5	664	Apr 10, 2008 by Mandy123
	I am so done with A!!! (Preview) I have given him chance after chance after chance!!! I am so done with it all! Why do I continue to put up with it? WHy do I continue to allow myself to be so miserable? Why do I keep calling my attorney to finally say, "OK.I'm ready to file for the divorce", but keep hanging up? I think the la...	desperate for help	7	576	Apr 10, 2008 by BooBoo313
	Hi, I'm new, can use some advice (Preview) Hi Everyone! I just joined tonight and here's my story. My hubby, who I married last year, is a definite alcholoic. He was diagnosed with diabetes last year, suffers from depression and hypertension. He seemed to be doing ok, adjusting, and swore of drinking (at that point, I didn't think he had a...	Sue64	9	679	Apr 9, 2008 by Sue64
	This is hell, stopped sis attacking son, confronted about her drinking, now I'm the devil (Preview) My sister the drunk wanted to confront her 13 yr old son about stealing from her. Tommorow is 1st day back at school from holidays in australia, he's booked into counselling there, he's angry at her and does this stuff because of her - but doesn't really know what is swrong with her. Not a good time to conf...	kes	5	651	Apr 9, 2008 by bettyb
	detachment baby steps (Preview) I wanted to share a recent experience for me with detachment for my review of what I learned and get more ideas or actual examples of detachment that has worked for you. At first, I understand now, I taught myself detachment so I would just stay out of the way, leave if I could, not react, minimize conv...	ddub	2	352	Apr 9, 2008 by Aloha
	WHY SO MUCH RAGE? (Preview) My son is a 24 year old alcoholic. He has so much anger and when he expresses it it comes out as ugly RAGE all the time!! What is the rage about? The littlest thing I say sets him off and he just explodes and yells and he is so mean and ugly!! Does anyone experience this behavior and if so how do you deal with...	roxygirl	7	407	Apr 9, 2008 by Aloha
	Fast Food, Boundaries, and Self-Care strange mix huh? (Preview) Hi all, Well ummm yeah. LOL. He hooked me again and I fell for it. Sheesh, when did I get so easy? My hub called me at work and asked me what the kids and I were doing at 6. I said not much. He asked if we would come down to his work and he would buy the kids dinner. I said sure. I got excited he wanted to see the kids. H...	Mandy123	5	563	Apr 9, 2008 by maresie
	Toxix love (Preview) Wow Thankyou Tom for suggesting that I google toxic love. When my marriage ended I ran from the pain into this relationship with the A which has lasted for 3 years due to my fear of being a lone and blaming myself for husbands addiction. I know I am not to blame and I don't think I learn't my lesson first tim...	Tracy	1	379	Apr 9, 2008 by maresie
	Looks like the oldest daughter is back in jail... (Preview) My 30 year old alcoholic/addict daughter had called late last week to let me know she had court on the 9th, and there was a good chance she'd go back to jail. I don't call her anymore as she usually doesn't have a phone, moves so often I never know where she is, and honestly, we have nothing in common. I didn'...	Tenderheartsks	3	338	Apr 9, 2008 by Gailey
	Challenging HEARTBROKEN (Preview) Each day I find I challenge Heartbroken to stay away by my resolve to stand in the light, as Jerry encouraged me to do.Each day I find that Heartbroken does not break me as I choose to follow my programme and detach from the past and live in the present.Each day I see Heartbroken has been conquered when I fi...	Suzannah	5	502	Apr 9, 2008 by cookie1971
	Taking a break (Preview) (((((((Family)))))), Just to let you know I am taking a small break from the board. Everything's ok. I have spent so much time taking care of hubby after his surgery this past year. (He would do the same for me.) I just need to concentrate on a few things. I am in the process of switching doctors to c...	Karilynn	5	357	Apr 8, 2008 by cookie1971
	How Do I handle money situation (Preview) This is my first post and I just joined a online group yesterday. I have a AH that I have been married to for 19 years. I am frustrated with the amount of money he spends from our account. I exported it today to see the amount on a weekly basis and it sickens me. I ordered the books recommended so I have not...	raid3rgirl	10	628	Apr 8, 2008 by debilyn
	Would greatly appreciate support = feels useless! (Preview) okay, to be honest I have seen progress and to be honest I am acting like a butt because I want old stuff resolved and I feel down. Today ( right now ) I will go read some of my alanon stuff- try not to focus on if I should leave the relationship or not and try to get to work on time. I want to share with you guys that...	glad	3	569	Apr 8, 2008 by Jerry F
	Observing obsession in action. (Preview) Yesterday I actually got to watch two different people get caught up on the obsession loop. The glorious thing about it was that I didn't join in - and on top of it, I recognized it for EXACTLY what it was and kind of laughed to myself quietly, thinking... "Oooooh. So THAT's what I must look like wh...	Aloha	6	1137	Apr 8, 2008 by Aloha
	Set a boundary: watching it work (Preview) Hi guys, I am a few weeks away from returning to the general vicinity of where my AH lives. We will not be living together (thank god) but we will be within closer proximity. I am having a wide range of responses, as you can imagine. Just kinda riding it out, not reacting (or acting in any way), just observi...	Jean4444	5	397	Apr 8, 2008 by Aloha
	feel like giving up (Preview) Hi all I am really happy I found this site. I have been attending meetings since Nov this programme has helped me more than I can say. I am still having probs picking up the phone so this site is a god send to me. Well heres my story. Been with my current partner for three years was with a compulsive gamble...	Tracy	6	665	Apr 8, 2008 by Tracy
	New Kid on the block (Preview) Hi there, I am new to the group and would like to share my story. I have been married for 19 years and with my husband for 23 years. We met when I was 14 and he was 15. We had our first child at the age of 17 and it has not been easy. He has always drunk beer and when our 3 kids were younger I remember he drank mor...	raid3rgirl	1	403	Apr 8, 2008 by maresie
	It's okay not to get the dragon one. (Preview) Laugh out loud!! Had a busy day yesterday from morning after the Super Saturday AFG meeting thru some business then over to some service work at the assembly and then home. I called my wife and asked about the plans my Son and his wife had about kite flying. It was still on. I haven't flown a kite sinc...	Jerry F	11	849	Apr 8, 2008 by Karilynn
	He stood up his son tonight! (Preview) I think tonight was that "aha" moment for me. After so many crappy things that have happened over the past year with my A husband I think this probably made me finally face reality. The reality that I will probably be a single mom. Never in a million year would I have thought that I would be i...	HopeinVA	4	514	Apr 8, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Mean, mean, mean (Preview) First a thank you to all who responded to my post about my feelings about my teen. When I shared them with my AH (last night, big mistake) he proceded to berate me, telling me I had "used" my son as an "asexual partner". I hate him. Why is he so mean to me? Did I use my son or did I devot...	DeadOrAlive	3	364	Apr 8, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Not an alaonon thing but pissing me off (and I don't talk like that generally) (Preview) Ugggguh!! After staying up late last night we were looking forward to sleep,new neighbors just moved in yesturday and evidently have a big dog, that likes to bark, all the time. Woke us up last night. Had a very nice breakfast with our / woops my adult daugher, did a few little things around the house an...	glad	11	1464	Apr 8, 2008 by glad
	KELLY CLARKSON...... SOBER (Preview) ((((((((((((Guys))))))))))) Found this video, didn't know she had made this song, Is she and recovering A??? Anyone know...I think shes Fab!!! And I don't know This could break my heart or save me Nothing's real Until you let go complet...	ally	4	393	Apr 8, 2008 by Predominate
	he's leaving, he's not leaving, etc. (Preview) my A. boyfriend is leaving me. or then again, he's not. i am so confused!!! he's always used "i'm leaving" more as a communication technique rather than a real statement of ending the relationship. problems with intimacy and commitment, he's said. for all the years we've been together he...	sadako	8	527	Apr 8, 2008 by glad
	Does Love grow back? (Preview) When I first met my Husband, I looked into his eyes and knew that I wasnt supposed to be anywhere but right here. I felt that way for a long time, like our love, and our love alone could conquer anything. Slowly his drinking became heavier (or that I knew of anyway), I began to grow and realize what was reall...	wishing13	7	1016	Apr 7, 2008 by ddub
	Facing Reality, Fantasy/Illusion, and Owning our choices (Preview) Hi all, Sunday night's meeting topics were Facing Reality, Fantasy/Illusion, and Owning our choices. Here is my share :) I was flipping through the index of c2c (Courage to Change) last week trying to think of topics to offer to the group. And the first two jumped right out at me. The last one my wonderf...	Mandy123	3	1001	Apr 7, 2008 by Jean4444
	Now what? (Preview) Hi Friends, I hate that I am so scared, even though I know much of my fear is based on prediction and what could/will be, not fact. Had the perfect office manager, more than just experience and skill, she had been married to an addict/a. She refused to be an enabler for my AH. He made her crazy and she could...	Loupiness	9	510	Apr 7, 2008 by maresie
	Say what?!? (Preview) I was talking to my AH about his daughter attending birthday/slumber party. He mentioned that his daughter began the topic conversation of "pot" that one of the other children had said the parents were doing at the party. I was completely appaulled!!!! I have a severe NO TOLERANCE for d...	Just For Now	7	452	Apr 7, 2008 by round3
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.