Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jorbax · Jorbax

I wrote about my AB moving in w/ us at assumed rock bottom and messing up again. I wrote letter to him w no response. He will not talk about anything. I went to my 2nd AlAnon f2f mtg tonight. I realize that I am to focus on me and live for today only. But this will take much practice for me. I cannot help bu...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Today's thought from Hazelden is: Daily, we determine our priorities. Priorities are not merely something we establish once a year, once a month, or even once a week. Our priorities are visible in the myriad decisions we make and actions we take each day. Being closely in touch with our inner selves a...

glad · glad

Someone else's post made me think... My birthday is next week. He has ignored everyone for the past 5 years. So I'm gonna just not worry about what he does or does not do this year. I'm gonna plan a little bitty party for myself, complete with a cake of my choice,(kinda cool to get to pick my own flavor??n...

ditto · ditto

I was chatting with a man last night. He wants me to date him. He sent me the following eMail regarding a conversation we had last night: "Ah, yes, I remember. Sometimes I get fuzzy around evening conversations after long days and a glass of wine or two." Ok, you guys know that I am very conce...

still searching · still searching

Well, I found out the other day that my AH is drinking before he goes to work, he is a cop. I admitted it to me, saying it was stupid to do. I told him he needs to get help, that this is just totally out of control. He has been off the last 2 days and now he is just acting like nothing happened or was said. It's the sa...

cara33 · cara33

Hi everyone.. I am not new to addiction forums I have been chatting with various people over the last few months when I finally came 'out' of denial and realized my son was an addict. I am here today to get to know some of you because I know I will need to know all there is to know about his stay in rehab, his ret...

glad · glad

I keep reading things here that remind me that my situation is not unique. I am so thankful for all of you here. And the opportunity to ask for your ideas. From your experiences what is up with the "A" when you write him a heartfelt letter regarding issues and he ignores it. I mean obviously he i...

omajoy · omajoy

I hope all mothers among you will have a wonderful day Sunday. I have dreaded Mother's Day Sunday for weeks....just as I dread almost all holidays for the past couple of years. When your family falls apart, any holiday is fraught with sadness and I just want them OVER!!! I helped the grandbaby make...

maresie · maresie

A year ago I was devasted that the A could respond to me with contempt on my birthday. I had no idea that one year later I could detach from that kind of venom or that I could consider living without him or obsessing about him 24/7. I am trying to look on that as a "present". Indeed I am trying t...

grizmom · grizmom

I have heard it said, several times, that eventually alcoholics/addicts fall into one of three categories: locked up, covered up or sobered up. My husband is locked up, my cousin was buried yesterday and I know some one who has 5 years of sobriety. My cousin was wonderful man. He was a beautiful per...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, hope you have all had a great week!!! I have been wondering how you would go about getting an al-anon meeting going in a town that dont have one.....my town has two different AA meetings, but no Al-Anon....I have been to both of the AA meetings and realize now they both have different peo...

Aloha · Aloha

I really dislike it when I have nightmares... you know how they can come across so "real" to you while you're sleeping, that even after waking, you sometimes wonder... "did that really happen?" I had a wonderful meditation session last night again, and went to bed feeling pr...

glad · glad

The more he makes you think you are the one with the problems, the more the focus is on you instead of him. It's a common alcoholic manipulation. I just read this in someone else's post and well I just had to say wow... I think maybe HP is directing me to continue to look at how I may be "restored to sanit...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

My sponsor's wife and I are looking at Alanon literature to order for our meetings. Besides the meditation book, what else is recommended to keep on hand for meetings? Thanks in advance for any help? We've found several of the CAL books at amazon pretty cheap used.

Jorbax · Jorbax

How do you "detach" w love? I have only been able to make it to 1 meeting.....so a newcomer here......... I wrote last week about allowing my 58 yr old bro (who I thought had hit rock bottom) to move in w/ my family (hubby of 25 yrs, 9 yr old, 14 yr old and my 80 yr old mother w/ alzheimers). Should...

ddub · ddub

my 4th child has hit puberty and like the rest, depression has hit him hard this week. I have a dr. appt this afternoon for him and piles of makeup homework. 6th grade and he has a 12 page power point due Friday, good grief! here we go again.......I am so tired of this but it seems to be in the cards for us. I...

Aloha · Aloha

I've slowly been working on increasing the amount of meditation I do. Of course, before the beginning of the year, my mediation routine was pretty much non-existent. I'd meditate sometimes, and then not do it again for months. In the last couple weeks, I've been trying to at least meditate one ti...

Diva · Diva

During every unfortunate situation of our lives, there comes that "Aha" moment when we suddenly realize there is a door open straight ahead with a bright light shining to welcome us to a renewal of positive forces. I woke up this morning to an amazing revelation. I DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE!!...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, Last week I posted a letter to someone who I am interested in but for all the wrong reasons. I can honestly say I would not be singing from the absolute honesty programme. Today the same letter was returned to me unopened as the address was slightly wrong. This would normally never happen and I t...

glad lee · glad lee

Dear Family, I guess my codependency is alive and well. I've been thinking about my ex-AH....like, seeing if he wants to to go to a favorite restaurant we had together ....and maybe coming back to my place. Ugh.... I just had to get that out. It's insane, I know it. He is completely untrustworth...

cookie1973 · cookie1973

Hi everyone. I am 35 and my hubby is 48. We have been together for 14 years. Hubby is an alcoholic. He just entered rehab last Thurs. He has always been a drinker. I never thought much of it. He never harmed me or said anything abusive towards me. I guess I married a "happy drunk". Anyway, for yea...

glad · glad

Once you detach a little you begin to notice things you didn't really see clearly before. Behaviors that are so self defeating for A and myself. He says he wants to change certain things. Be more responsible, make a better plan for dealing with his money. Do more to help our around house, and drink less....

Loupiness · Loupiness

Had our meeting with the attorneys today. We sat around a 6-person conference table and the two chairs on either end were empty - I had God sitting on my left and all of you shared the other one. The way I saw it, God led the meeting and you all kept it under control. I thank you for that. I did pretty good, bu...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I hate when someone says or does something that brings my inner child in all her glory out. She feels deflated, frozen in the thought that she will forever be a screw up. This makes her sad because all she wants is to be recognized for the good that is in her instead of the bad all the time. She is also angry b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Friday, before I went to divorce court I went parasailing (parachute behind a boat...) and immediately after I went and got my hair cut short, decided to dye it brown and now have a totally new much better style.... funny timing? I'm still doing the weekday workout - 3 for 3 sofar this week. I have decid...

arty · arty

HI all, i havent posted in over a year. I broke up with my A last year because i couldnt deal with the drink anymore, and since then i have been so happy...most days. But recently i have been bumping into old friends whom i havent seen in a long time, so im finding myself explaining the breakup. It seems th...

intothewoods · intothewoods

So, my A fiance ended his sober streak tonight. He came home from work with "two beers." (I couldn't help but notice that hey were two 24 oz cans, which is four beers to a normal person.) Of course he was "just going to drink one and not buy any more." (Of course he just went out and bou...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Way back in the day, before the AA program had any steps, traditions or literature at all--and forget al anon!--there were the 4 absolutes. Based on The Oxford Group in England, the first group to attempt to takle alcholism as an individual disease, the foundation for the AA program--and for al anon-...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Well, I guess you could say that today is the kick-off for our divorce. We will be meeting together with our attorneys this afternoon. If anyone is out there praying this morning, I sure would appreciate you throwing me in there. I want to treat it like an al-anon meeting - listen and stay quiet mostl...

Suzannah · Suzannah

There's always one trip, one ride,one surf, one expedition you make which you remember the most, over all the other adventures you have in life. It may be going to gorgeous parts of the world on a holiday, taking a trip to an island, or through rainforests or up mountains, however that feeling of being...

maresie · maresie

I grew up in a an abusive, chaotic home where all the responsibiltiies were reversed. My relationship with my two sisters was based on survival, shaming, blaming and competition for meager resources. So i grew up as a magnet for an alcoholic who is active. I grew up used to taking responsibility fo...

Codependent · Codependent

So I find that I have made some new friends who live near me that I share similar upbringings with- well with the wife. Both of us come from dysfunctional homes with abuse, etc. Anyway, I find when I visit with them she and I often drink wine together and vent about our childhoods. Although this often,...

pickford · pickford

I've only posted (reply) once, but needed to write out my thoughts of the past week and thought this would be a good place. My AH was arrested last Monday for domestic violence...not that this was the first time or even the 10th. I probably would have let it go longer but for one thing...our 6-year-old...

ddub · ddub

Has anyone dealt with an A partner and this sleep disorder? (see info below) It states this could happen if drinking or withdrawal & as acute rather than chronic. With functioning chronic AH, I'm not sure if it means he's drinking more or less and whether this is going to continue or what. I am...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Okay, I have a question about binge drinking. I know when we're practicing al-anon, we only worry about ourselves and not the alcoholic, their disease is their thing etc etc. Yet, when you have an A that is a binge drinker and has been on the wagon with the program AA etc, and they relapse, are you 'allo...

Aloha · Aloha

I've shared in here a while ago that my AH and I had to go file a claim in small courts to get our deposit back from our addict-landlord. She flipped out on us when we told her we were going to have to move back in late January/early February. Our deposit should have been paid to us 15 days after we vacated, but...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The divorce went through yesterday, I thought there might be a problem because the A filed a response from the jail requesting to be brought in for the hearing but since he got out of jail and didn't respond and proceeded to leave the state (watch out PA...) I was granted the divorce and full custody of my...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Do to the conversations that took place during the business meeting I was unable to get to the discussion of meeting coverage. Just to let you all know Norwood has stepped up to be the Wednesday OP. So yay norwood, we have been needing a chair for that night. Yours in recovery, Mandy

Loupiness · Loupiness

I had all three on Fri, but I have to admit that the good outweighed them all. My workload ended up pretty light and I knew there was a meeting at noon. It was in another town and one I've never been too, and I just had this burning desire to go. I walked in and immediately felt uncomfortable. All strange...

Jen · Jen

I get like this sometimes and have never really found a good way to work myself out of it. I could really use some esh on how you all manage to get going again. I know I have been under a lot of stress lately and at the moment have a bit of a head cold or something(sore throat, headache, body ache). I don't know i...

nmike · nmike

You have said to me don't go to the hardware store to get milk. The As don't have what we want or need. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work your recovery program, and get what you need from your HP. I go to my AHsober for less and less. Mainly because he is less and less available. I have glimmer of understandi...

barisax · barisax

I was going to reply to the "highway" thread but thought maybe I should start a new one. Recovery does not end with putting the plug in the jug. Recovery begins with putting the plug in the jug. That's the way it was for me. I believe that physical, mental, and spiritual recovery begins with o...

Tracy · Tracy

We have choices we can leave we can love and take care of ourselves My A has only been gone for 2 and a half weeks. Let me down got drunk has not been in touch since. You see I have not rung him but would I be back in the cycle if he had rung me. Why didnt I get out earlier Why do I look after everyone and not me my needs...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I've been in this program a year and pretty sure I know the answer, but then I resort back to my controlling ways and think that this situation may be "different". Yeah, right. If nothing else, typing it out her may clarify things for me. My brother is an A. I haven't posted much about him bec...

Jorbax · Jorbax

I allowed my 58 yr old Alcoholic Brother tomove in w/ us. I thought he was rock bottom and thought this was a new beginning for him. Spent 6 months last year in jail for 4th dui...... Ha! We are 9 out of the past 11 days w/ him coming home drunk. We have 2 children and my 80 yr old Mother (w/ Alzheimer's)...

JeannineM · JeannineM

Hello everyone and thanks again for the replies. I wanted to know where I start. I am unable to get to a face to face meetings I have tried to find ones that allow children but w/o success. I am to the website out of complete desire for a way to help myself and get some answers and vent when i have to. All of y...

shebear · shebear

Hi, folks. You would think I'd have recognized the signs, coming from a family where pretty much all the men are either alcoholics or addicts. But here I am at 45 married to an alcoholic in denial, and his defense is "I'm not that bad." No, he doesn't beat me, nor pee in inappropriate places (A...

acjmom · acjmom

I have been talking to the A about trying to work things out, and Im not sure if that is what I want or not, he says (AGAIN) he is willing to really work a program this time but does not feel AA is for him....but wouldnt mind going to Al-Anon with me, which, he is the son and bro of an A...so I guess he DOES in a way...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

Hey guys, so, I am petitioning the court to allow me to move out of state with my daughter. The people closest to me are cautioning me because the attitude I am portraying is one of confidence and peace. I am being told I have my head in the clouds because even though I have my opinions about how my ex is wit...

omajoy · omajoy

While looking back to May 2, 2007, in my pocket calendar I realized I was coming home from the hospital from my third chemo treatment. I was quite ill and quite BALD.....I had not one hair on my head, no eyebrows, or anywhere else!!! Ahead of me lay fourth hospital stay for more chemo in ten days and aft...

Maria123 · Maria123

Friends, I just had to share this with y'all. Thank goodness for this program. I am recovering one day at a time from the craziness I was involved in, perpetuated, and had no control of. Last week I was working on a part of my recovery. I had a habit that I wanted to break (nothing dramatic) just somethi...

barisax · barisax

Do you post when you are in a crisis and desperate? Do you post when in transition and feeling confused? Do you post when you are bored? Do you post when you're feeling good and want to share? Do you post when something newsworthy happens in your program? Or your life in general? I guess I post when I f...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello Family, This weekend has been an eye-opener for me, and one that has really proved to me that I am working my programme. However, I have come across some things that have got me thinking about what I should do or shoud not do. Remembering that I have accepted step one - I have no control over my daugh...

charr · charr

My ah and i have been married for 18 years and together 20. At first the only things we had in common was drinking. I think that should have been my sign. (i grew up with an AF and my mother suffered as us kids did) I really wish i could go back and change what happened and left. we never really talked in the be...

meagain · meagain

I wrote before about my Ds and DIL perhaps separting. I finally had a email from him (after I emailed him ) stating Mom we are OK we just need time. OK what does that mean. Well to me--it means butt out--he will call when he feels ready. So I will not die if I don't see the kids for a few weeks or so. ....Anyway I t...

amybear · amybear

I know that I'm married to an A... have known for years, lived in denial that it wasn't that bad... no beating, no trouble with the law, always living paycheck to paycheck.... Then about 2 years ago, he felt like he was having a heart attack and off to the hospital we went... turns out he has acid reflux dis...

emma · emma

Hi roomies, It has been a while since I've posted. I've had a series of opportunities for growth ... Some things that a few years ago would have upset me terribly, now just seem specially sent to get me to where I am to be. That 4th step that my sponsor and I only got partially through ... an opportunity to...

Christy · Christy

This is just a shout out to all my Alanon sisters and brothers. I hope this song makes your spirits soar :) (from the movie Patch Adams)

charr · charr

My husband wants to go out with this couple and The man is one of the stray dogs he brought home and he wants to me and him to hang out with him and his wife, I told him i don't feel comfortable around those people. It just makes me sick to my stomach. I really hate this guy, i blame him for what he is doing with my h...

marmare · marmare

First I want to say that it is nice the door is always open here and it feels so right, so welcoming, and so much like home.... Well, my A has been sober two days, he also has made his own doctor's appointment to get back on meds for the bi-polar, without me urging him or pushing him, or telling him he needed to...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What do i do now?............... (Preview) I wrote about my AB moving in w/ us at assumed rock bottom and messing up again. I wrote letter to him w no response. He will not talk about anything. I went to my 2nd AlAnon f2f mtg tonight. I realize that I am to focus on me and live for today only. But this will take much practice for me. I cannot help bu...	Jorbax	5	798	May 10, 2008 by Jerry F
	Priorities (Preview) Today's thought from Hazelden is: Daily, we determine our priorities. Priorities are not merely something we establish once a year, once a month, or even once a week. Our priorities are visible in the myriad decisions we make and actions we take each day. Being closely in touch with our inner selves a...	Tiger2006	4	358	May 10, 2008 by ddub
	Birthdays! (Preview) Someone else's post made me think... My birthday is next week. He has ignored everyone for the past 5 years. So I'm gonna just not worry about what he does or does not do this year. I'm gonna plan a little bitty party for myself, complete with a cake of my choice,(kinda cool to get to pick my own flavor??n...	glad	3	353	May 10, 2008 by cookie1971
	Is This A Huge Clue? (Preview) I was chatting with a man last night. He wants me to date him. He sent me the following eMail regarding a conversation we had last night: "Ah, yes, I remember. Sometimes I get fuzzy around evening conversations after long days and a glass of wine or two." Ok, you guys know that I am very conce...	ditto	9	744	May 10, 2008 by arty
	drinking and work (Preview) Well, I found out the other day that my AH is drinking before he goes to work, he is a cop. I admitted it to me, saying it was stupid to do. I told him he needs to get help, that this is just totally out of control. He has been off the last 2 days and now he is just acting like nothing happened or was said. It's the sa...	still searching	3	450	May 9, 2008 by Jerry F
	son leaving for rehab @ 1:30 today (Preview) Hi everyone.. I am not new to addiction forums I have been chatting with various people over the last few months when I finally came 'out' of denial and realized my son was an addict. I am here today to get to know some of you because I know I will need to know all there is to know about his stay in rehab, his ret...	cara33	10	684	May 9, 2008 by cara33
	Letters to your "A"? (Preview) I keep reading things here that remind me that my situation is not unique. I am so thankful for all of you here. And the opportunity to ask for your ideas. From your experiences what is up with the "A" when you write him a heartfelt letter regarding issues and he ignores it. I mean obviously he i...	glad	9	703	May 9, 2008 by Jorbax
	cannot bear holidays (Preview) I hope all mothers among you will have a wonderful day Sunday. I have dreaded Mother's Day Sunday for weeks....just as I dread almost all holidays for the past couple of years. When your family falls apart, any holiday is fraught with sadness and I just want them OVER!!! I helped the grandbaby make...	omajoy	7	464	May 9, 2008 by Jill
	Birthday tomorrow (Preview) A year ago I was devasted that the A could respond to me with contempt on my birthday. I had no idea that one year later I could detach from that kind of venom or that I could consider living without him or obsessing about him 24/7. I am trying to look on that as a "present". Indeed I am trying t...	maresie	8	481	May 9, 2008 by Tracy
	Deeply angered (Preview) I have heard it said, several times, that eventually alcoholics/addicts fall into one of three categories: locked up, covered up or sobered up. My husband is locked up, my cousin was buried yesterday and I know some one who has 5 years of sobriety. My cousin was wonderful man. He was a beautiful per...	grizmom	9	523	May 9, 2008 by stariana
	new al-anon meetings (Preview) Hello All, hope you have all had a great week!!! I have been wondering how you would go about getting an al-anon meeting going in a town that dont have one.....my town has two different AA meetings, but no Al-Anon....I have been to both of the AA meetings and realize now they both have different peo...	acjmom	3	530	May 9, 2008 by maresie
	Dreams / Nightmares (Preview) I really dislike it when I have nightmares... you know how they can come across so "real" to you while you're sleeping, that even after waking, you sometimes wonder... "did that really happen?" I had a wonderful meditation session last night again, and went to bed feeling pr...	Aloha	5	464	May 9, 2008 by Jerry F
	Oh how we help eachother! (Preview) *The more he makes you think you are the one with the problems, the more the focus is on you instead of him. It's a common alcoholic manipulation.* I just read this in someone else's post and well I just had to say wow... I think maybe HP is directing me to continue to look at how I may be "restored to sanit...	glad	3	644	May 9, 2008 by maresie
	Question on literature for meetings (Preview) My sponsor's wife and I are looking at Alanon literature to order for our meetings. Besides the meditation book, what else is recommended to keep on hand for meetings? Thanks in advance for any help? We've found several of the CAL books at amazon pretty cheap used.	Tenderheartsks	4	640	May 9, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Need help...How do you.................. (Preview) How do you "detach" w love? I have only been able to make it to 1 meeting.....so a newcomer here......... I wrote last week about allowing my 58 yr old bro (who I thought had hit rock bottom) to move in w/ my family (hubby of 25 yrs, 9 yr old, 14 yr old and my 80 yr old mother w/ alzheimers). Should...	Jorbax	6	727	May 9, 2008 by maresie
	family mental health (Preview) my 4th child has hit puberty and like the rest, depression has hit him hard this week. I have a dr. appt this afternoon for him and piles of makeup homework. 6th grade and he has a 12 page power point due Friday, good grief! here we go again.......I am so tired of this but it seems to be in the cards for us. I...	ddub	4	349	May 9, 2008 by nmike
	Meditation (Preview) I've slowly been working on increasing the amount of meditation I do. Of course, before the beginning of the year, my mediation routine was pretty much non-existent. I'd meditate sometimes, and then not do it again for months. In the last couple weeks, I've been trying to at least meditate one ti...	Aloha	4	486	May 9, 2008 by Aloha
	Free at last!!!!!! (Preview) During every unfortunate situation of our lives, there comes that "Aha" moment when we suddenly realize there is a door open straight ahead with a bright light shining to welcome us to a renewal of positive forces. I woke up this morning to an amazing revelation. I DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE!!...	Diva	13	531	May 9, 2008 by leo
	HP working in mysterious ways (Preview) Dear All, Last week I posted a letter to someone who I am interested in but for all the wrong reasons. I can honestly say I would not be singing from the absolute honesty programme. Today the same letter was returned to me unopened as the address was slightly wrong. This would normally never happen and I t...	maire rua	2	581	May 8, 2008 by glad
	Missing him (Preview) Dear Family, I guess my codependency is alive and well. I've been thinking about my ex-AH....like, seeing if he wants to to go to a favorite restaurant we had together ....and maybe coming back to my place. Ugh.... I just had to get that out. It's insane, I know it. He is completely untrustworth...	glad lee	3	515	May 8, 2008 by maresie
	New here and need to vent this before I explode!!(long and sorry for that) (Preview) Hi everyone. I am 35 and my hubby is 48. We have been together for 14 years. Hubby is an alcoholic. He just entered rehab last Thurs. He has always been a drinker. I never thought much of it. He never harmed me or said anything abusive towards me. I guess I married a "happy drunk". Anyway, for yea...	cookie1973	7	625	May 8, 2008 by cookie1973
	Odd behavior? (Preview) Once you detach a little you begin to notice things you didn't really see clearly before. Behaviors that are so self defeating for A and myself. He says he wants to change certain things. Be more responsible, make a better plan for dealing with his money. Do more to help our around house, and drink less....	glad	2	335	May 8, 2008 by Jen
	and I 'm not devastated... (Preview) Had our meeting with the attorneys today. We sat around a 6-person conference table and the two chairs on either end were empty - I had God sitting on my left and all of you shared the other one. The way I saw it, God led the meeting and you all kept it under control. I thank you for that. I did pretty good, bu...	Loupiness	8	717	May 8, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	I hate this (Preview) I hate when someone says or does something that brings my inner child in all her glory out. She feels deflated, frozen in the thought that she will forever be a screw up. This makes her sad because all she wants is to be recognized for the good that is in her instead of the bad all the time. She is also angry b...	seekingserenity	5	396	May 8, 2008 by Jen
	I forgot to mention... (Preview) Friday, before I went to divorce court I went parasailing (parachute behind a boat...) and immediately after I went and got my hair cut short, decided to dye it brown and now have a totally new much better style.... funny timing? I'm still doing the weekday workout - 3 for 3 sofar this week. I have decid...	carolinagirl	6	587	May 8, 2008 by serendipity
	why does it bother me so much? (Preview) HI all, i havent posted in over a year. I broke up with my A last year because i couldnt deal with the drink anymore, and since then i have been so happy...most days. But recently i have been bumping into old friends whom i havent seen in a long time, so im finding myself explaining the breakup. It seems th...	arty	12	877	May 8, 2008 by Diva
	So THIS is what detachment feels like! (Preview) So, my A fiance ended his sober streak tonight. He came home from work with "two beers." (I couldn't help but notice that hey were two 24 oz cans, which is four beers to a normal person.) Of course he was "just going to drink one and not buy any more." (Of course he just went out and bou...	intothewoods	4	604	May 8, 2008 by nmike
	The 4 Absolutes (Preview) Way back in the day, before the AA program had any steps, traditions or literature at all--and forget al anon!--there were the 4 absolutes. Based on The Oxford Group in England, the first group to attempt to takle alcholism as an individual disease, the foundation for the AA program--and for al anon-...	Tiger2006	4	8674	May 8, 2008 by nmike
	today's the day... (Preview) Well, I guess you could say that today is the kick-off for our divorce. We will be meeting together with our attorneys this afternoon. If anyone is out there praying this morning, I sure would appreciate you throwing me in there. I want to treat it like an al-anon meeting - listen and stay quiet mostl...	Loupiness	6	450	May 8, 2008 by ddub
	The risk was worth it... (Preview) There's always one trip, one ride,one surf, one expedition you make which you remember the most, over all the other adventures you have in life. It may be going to gorgeous parts of the world on a holiday, taking a trip to an island, or through rainforests or up mountains, however that feeling of being...	Suzannah	3	550	May 8, 2008 by ddub
	Over responsibilty (Preview) I grew up in a an abusive, chaotic home where all the responsibiltiies were reversed. My relationship with my two sisters was based on survival, shaming, blaming and competition for meager resources. So i grew up as a magnet for an alcoholic who is active. I grew up used to taking responsibility fo...	maresie	2	346	May 8, 2008 by ddub
	Exposure (Preview) So I find that I have made some new friends who live near me that I share similar upbringings with- well with the wife. Both of us come from dysfunctional homes with abuse, etc. Anyway, I find when I visit with them she and I often drink wine together and vent about our childhoods. Although this often,...	Codependent	3	473	May 8, 2008 by Christy
	Wild week-AH arrested (Preview) I've only posted (reply) once, but needed to write out my thoughts of the past week and thought this would be a good place. My AH was arrested last Monday for domestic violence...not that this was the first time or even the 10th. I probably would have let it go longer but for one thing...our 6-year-old...	pickford	6	626	May 7, 2008 by pickford
	alcoholic sleep disorders (Preview) Has anyone dealt with an A partner and this sleep disorder? (see info below) It states this could happen if drinking or withdrawal & as acute rather than chronic. With functioning chronic AH, I'm not sure if it means he's drinking more or less and whether this is going to continue or what. I am...	ddub	7	1318	May 7, 2008 by maresie
	Binge Drinking question (Preview) Okay, I have a question about binge drinking. I know when we're practicing al-anon, we only worry about ourselves and not the alcoholic, their disease is their thing etc etc. Yet, when you have an A that is a binge drinker and has been on the wagon with the program AA etc, and they relapse, are you 'allo...	sdisnie	8	939	May 7, 2008 by maresie
	Ex ALandlord woes (Preview) I've shared in here a while ago that my AH and I had to go file a claim in small courts to get our deposit back from our addict-landlord. She flipped out on us when we told her we were going to have to move back in late January/early February. Our deposit should have been paid to us 15 days after we vacated, but...	Aloha	4	455	May 7, 2008 by Aloha
	Finally free (Preview) The divorce went through yesterday, I thought there might be a problem because the A filed a response from the jail requesting to be brought in for the hearing but since he got out of jail and didn't respond and proceeded to leave the state (watch out PA...) I was granted the divorce and full custody of my...	carolinagirl	6	415	May 7, 2008 by Christy
	NEW WEDNESDAY OP (Preview) Hi all, Do to the conversations that took place during the business meeting I was unable to get to the discussion of meeting coverage. Just to let you all know Norwood has stepped up to be the Wednesday OP. So yay norwood, we have been needing a chair for that night. Yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	0	296	May 6, 2008 by Mandy123
	the good, the bad and the ugly.... (Preview) I had all three on Fri, but I have to admit that the good outweighed them all. My workload ended up pretty light and I knew there was a meeting at noon. It was in another town and one I've never been too, and I just had this burning desire to go. I walked in and immediately felt uncomfortable. All strange...	Loupiness	4	650	May 6, 2008 by maresie
	feeling blah and unmotivated (Preview) I get like this sometimes and have never really found a good way to work myself out of it. I could really use some esh on how you all manage to get going again. I know I have been under a lot of stress lately and at the moment have a bit of a head cold or something(sore throat, headache, body ache). I don't know i...	Jen	6	647	May 6, 2008 by maresie
	Then what ARE we suppose to get from the A? (Preview) You have said to me don't go to the hardware store to get milk. The As don't have what we want or need. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work your recovery program, and get what you need from your HP. I go to my AHsober for less and less. Mainly because he is less and less available. I have glimmer of understandi...	nmike	16	777	May 6, 2008 by omajoy
	How does recovery begin? (Preview) I was going to reply to the "highway" thread but thought maybe I should start a new one. Recovery does not end with putting the plug in the jug. Recovery begins with putting the plug in the jug. That's the way it was for me. I believe that physical, mental, and spiritual recovery begins with o...	barisax	11	729	May 6, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Courage to change (Preview) We have choices we can leave we can love and take care of ourselves My A has only been gone for 2 and a half weeks. Let me down got drunk has not been in touch since. You see I have not rung him but would I be back in the cycle if he had rung me. Why didnt I get out earlier Why do I look after everyone and not me my needs...	Tracy	5	521	May 6, 2008 by maresie
	just gotta ask.. (Preview) I've been in this program a year and pretty sure I know the answer, but then I resort back to my controlling ways and think that this situation may be "different". Yeah, right. If nothing else, typing it out her may clarify things for me. My brother is an A. I haven't posted much about him bec...	Loupiness	7	474	May 6, 2008 by Loupiness
	How do I do this? Help...... (Preview) I allowed my 58 yr old Alcoholic Brother tomove in w/ us. I thought he was rock bottom and thought this was a new beginning for him. Spent 6 months last year in jail for 4th dui...... Ha! We are 9 out of the past 11 days w/ him coming home drunk. We have 2 children and my 80 yr old Mother (w/ Alzheimer's)...	Jorbax	4	776	May 6, 2008 by Karilynn
	where do i start? (Preview) Hello everyone and thanks again for the replies. I wanted to know where I start. I am unable to get to a face to face meetings I have tried to find ones that allow children but w/o success. I am to the website out of complete desire for a way to help myself and get some answers and vent when i have to. All of y...	JeannineM	5	659	May 5, 2008 by maresie
	How bad is bad enough? (Preview) Hi, folks. You would think I'd have recognized the signs, coming from a family where pretty much all the men are either alcoholics or addicts. But here I am at 45 married to an alcoholic in denial, and his defense is "I'm not that bad." No, he doesn't beat me, nor pee in inappropriate places (A...	shebear	9	659	May 5, 2008 by canadianguy
	Just wondering (Preview) I have been talking to the A about trying to work things out, and Im not sure if that is what I want or not, he says (AGAIN) he is willing to really work a program this time but does not feel AA is for him....but wouldnt mind going to Al-Anon with me, which, he is the son and bro of an A...so I guess he DOES in a way...	acjmom	4	472	May 5, 2008 by maresie
	Is it pride, stupidity, or???? (Preview) Hey guys, so, I am petitioning the court to allow me to move out of state with my daughter. The people closest to me are cautioning me because the attitude I am portraying is one of confidence and peace. I am being told I have my head in the clouds because even though I have my opinions about how my ex is wit...	seekingserenity	5	648	May 5, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	gratitude (Preview) While looking back to May 2, 2007, in my pocket calendar I realized I was coming home from the hospital from my third chemo treatment. I was quite ill and quite BALD.....I had not one hair on my head, no eyebrows, or anywhere else!!! Ahead of me lay fourth hospital stay for more chemo in ten days and aft...	omajoy	7	494	May 5, 2008 by Gailey
	My Son Rocks!!!! (Preview) Friends, I just had to share this with y'all. Thank goodness for this program. I am recovering one day at a time from the craziness I was involved in, perpetuated, and had no control of. Last week I was working on a part of my recovery. I had a habit that I wanted to break (nothing dramatic) just somethi...	Maria123	10	473	May 4, 2008 by cookie1971
	When Do You Post? Yet another thread spin-off (Preview) Do you post when you are in a crisis and desperate? Do you post when in transition and feeling confused? Do you post when you are bored? Do you post when you're feeling good and want to share? Do you post when something newsworthy happens in your program? Or your life in general? I guess I post when I f...	barisax	7	633	May 4, 2008 by cookie1971
	Dope habit (Preview) Hello Family, This weekend has been an eye-opener for me, and one that has really proved to me that I am working my programme. However, I have come across some things that have got me thinking about what I should do or shoud not do. Remembering that I have accepted step one - I have no control over my daugh...	Suzannah	3	917	May 4, 2008 by cookie1971
	new member and trying to start with al-anon (Preview) My ah and i have been married for 18 years and together 20. At first the only things we had in common was drinking. I think that should have been my sign. (i grew up with an AF and my mother suffered as us kids did) I really wish i could go back and change what happened and left. we never really talked in the be...	charr	7	631	May 4, 2008 by charr
	my feeling are so raw right now (Preview) I wrote before about my Ds and DIL perhaps separting. I finally had a email from him (after I emailed him ) stating Mom we are OK we just need time. OK what does that mean. Well to me--it means butt out--he will call when he feels ready. So I will not die if I don't see the kids for a few weeks or so. ....Anyway I t...	meagain	1	492	May 4, 2008 by omajoy
	New here... need some support (Preview) I know that I'm married to an A... have known for years, lived in denial that it wasn't that bad... no beating, no trouble with the law, always living paycheck to paycheck.... Then about 2 years ago, he felt like he was having a heart attack and off to the hospital we went... turns out he has acid reflux dis...	amybear	4	627	May 3, 2008 by Jerry F
	HP in charge (Preview) Hi roomies, It has been a while since I've posted. I've had a series of opportunities for growth ... Some things that a few years ago would have upset me terribly, now just seem specially sent to get me to where I am to be. That 4th step that my sponsor and I only got partially through ... an opportunity to...	emma	1	398	May 3, 2008 by Jerry F
	Faith of the heart (Preview) This is just a shout out to all my Alanon sisters and brothers. I hope this song makes your spirits soar :) (from the movie Patch Adams)	Christy	4	375	May 3, 2008 by ddub
	I really don't want to be around these people.. (Preview) My husband wants to go out with this couple and The man is one of the stray dogs he brought home and he wants to me and him to hang out with him and his wife, I told him i don't feel comfortable around those people. It just makes me sick to my stomach. I really hate this guy, i blame him for what he is doing with my h...	charr	4	568	May 3, 2008 by Christy
	Short Update (Preview) First I want to say that it is nice the door is always open here and it feels so right, so welcoming, and so much like home.... Well, my A has been sober two days, he also has made his own doctor's appointment to get back on meds for the bi-polar, without me urging him or pushing him, or telling him he needed to...	marmare	5	455	May 3, 2008 by emma
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.