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Has anyone dealt with an A partner and this sleep disorder? (see info below) It states this could happen if drinking or withdrawal & as acute rather than chronic. With functioning chronic AH, I'm not sure if it means he's drinking more or less and whether this is going to continue or what. I am beginning to think it was better when he was passing out on the couch. Guess I'm trying to figure out what to do. Appreciate knowing what others have experienced. thks, ddub
~~~~~~~~~~ REM behaviour disorder (RBD) is a parasomnia in which the subjects act out dreams with physical movements that are considered to be the equivalent of what they are doing in their dreams. Dreams often include events that trigger wild motions and flailing of limbs that can be harmful to a bed partner, or the sufferer themselves.
REM refers to Rapid Eye Movement, which is the last stage of sleep, and also commonly called the dream sleep stage. REM sleep is when most dreams take place. During this phase of sleep, most people will experience muscle atonia, or paralysis, in which the body has effectively shut down. People with RBD do not experience muscle atonia during REM sleep, which accounts for their ability to perform physical actions during this stage of sleep. REM sleep typically takes 1 to 1 ½ hours to set in, so episodes of RBD will not commence until this time has elapsed. Some people may have multiple episodes during a night, and others may only experience them once every week or longer.
RBD is not to be confused with other forms of parasomnia such as sleepwalking, sleep terrors, nocturnal seizures or periodic limb movements, though people with RBD may suffer some of the above sleep disorders as well. RBD occurs exclusively in the phase of deep sleep, while these other sleep disorders primarily occur in earlier sleep phases. RBD episodes will rarely include walking around, and do not include eating or drinking, which is another way of differentiating them from sleepwalking.
Episodes of RBD often begin with only mild activity that may go unnoticed for a long time, and RBD is often left unnoticed or undiagnosed for years. Over time episodes will get worse, and could contain acting out of violent events that may include motions of punching, kicking, wild flailing, grabbing and even leaping or jumping around in some cases.
Other factors that influence the intensity of REM sleep may also play a role in RBD rates, including alcohol consumption or withdrawal, strokes, brain tumours, sleep deprivation, and medication use. In the case of alcohol or medication use, RBD may only be acute, rather than chronic as it is in most other cases.
If alcohol or medication use is the likely cause of the episodes, a simple switch in medications, and/or abstaining from alcohol should quickly clear up the number of episodes of RBD. In cases of withdrawal symptoms, it may be necessary for the bed partner to sleep in a separate bed or room until the symptoms regress, and episodes of RBD tail off. ~~~~~~~~~
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Ugh.. that does not sound fun. My husband just used to experience periodic limb movements, was often very sweaty, and would wake up in a fright. Blech!
So are you going to bed afraid he is going to attack you? No wonder you don't sleep well. The last paragraph of the article probably says it best. Doesn't sound like there is room in the bed for both of you.
Blessings, Lou
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Both my Ah b/F and his sister have strange sleep episodes (of course I've seen his alot more than hers).
Happens shortly after he is asleep and he talks alot, sometimes for hours. Most of the time it is in a "language" sounds like he is putting first part of words at end and vise versa. But it has a definate pattern.Sometimes he speaks English. Almost always he is extreamly angry and telling someone off-he rarely "tells people off when awake" he holds things inside, little and big.
One time he even said f#$K me.. and then a girls name we both know-she was manipulating him big time emotionally-- ( and I was certain this was not really going to happen, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which she is really ugly and fat) So I don't think everything said in dreams is an inidication of what the person would really do or want awake... Besides.. I had a weird dream about Walter Mathow naked one time and I never ever think of Walter Mathow when awake it was totally random??? and so so funny!! and I swear I do not want him-besides think he's dead.
Anyway about dreams. More recently he's telling people "off" or calling them names, violent kicking and swinging his arms sometimes. When I am afraid, then either sleep close enough to him that no force would be felt if he swings or sometimes get out of bed. Bottom line this is too often and extream to be faked or anything. He is tormented by the feelings he bottles up inside.
I do get tired of making excuses for him in general about his emotional pain like "he is tormented by feelings he feels" he's a big boy and he should know by now he needs to let this stuff out and seek help.
My ex did this. I had bruises from his "episodes". Most of the time it was leading to a binge rather than comming off of one. Funny thing is I delt with this behavior but when he gained over 100 pounds in protest for having to be on meds for his mental illness (yeah, real Gahndi of him, I know) and started snoring so loudly I was getting PTSD from the noise, I made him go sleep in the spare room. Gosh, the insanity that I put up with......never again!!!!
Mine kicks out sometimes, and he's 4 years sober. I do think it might be less often than it was - on the other hand he's also taking a sleeping pill. I don't actually think he's mentioned it to his doctor, so it's never been given a name. It interrupts MY sleep - I pretty much treat it like snoring, or a nightmare - shake him, tell him he's kicking, try to go back to sleep.
I don't know if it has anything to do with his drinking or not. Could be backlash of stress from his NOT drinking. Who knows? Only he can get himself to a doctor to check on it.
But I've heard of that stuff before. I watched a show on Dateline a long time ago, and they referred to the episodes as "night terrors".
My mom used to have night terrors - sometimes she still does, I think - and she hasn't drank or drugged in 28 years. She'll stand up on the bed and scream (she'll be dreaming that she's being attacked by something sometimes), she's hit my dad a couple times, too. I don't know if it's been happening much any more - I haven't heard her or my dad talk about any more episodes at all.
In any case, if it's getting to a point, though, where you feel you're in physical danger, you might want to let your AH know what's going on. From there, hopefully the two of you can decide the next best course of action. If he's in denial about it, you know what to do for yourself from there.
i dunno I know I got nowhere looking for the signs that he was "using". He was an addict he used that was about it. What I had to figure out was how to take care of me. I spent years and years trying to work out "why" he had what he had and why he didn't stop. None of that changed no matter how I obsessed about it.
