The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Do you post when you are in a crisis and desperate? Do you post when in transition and feeling confused? Do you post when you are bored? Do you post when you're feeling good and want to share? Do you post when something newsworthy happens in your program? Or your life in general?
I guess I post when I feel like I have something to say, but left to my own devices I could probably keep typing 24/7. I have to balance things out and decide what is beneficial for me. Yeah, for me - I do this for me. I discovered long ago that writing an internet post is a way of collecting my thoughts - it's like journaling, but with the idea that other people might read it - or not.
In Alanon we share experience, strength, and hope. I try to follow that guideline in a general way, but sometimes I end up sharing confusion, weakness, and despair... oh well!! Some days I have some ESH to share, some days I need all of yours and then some.
I think I post a response when I feel some connection, when I'm reading your posts and something rings a bell in my brain - I have an almost insatiable desire to connect with people and I love this medium. It has its limitations, and certainly can be exploited and used dishonestly - but it's a level playing field for communicating that is not affected by appearances. Much in the way that an F2F Alanon meeting allows people to share without being interrupted, or cross-talked.
Do I know how many people read my musings? Not really. I can certainly see the responses. If I get 10 responses, does that mean 10 people read it? 100? 1000? I don't know. It's not important, because it's still about me putting my thoughts together, and connecting with whoever can relate and can reflect something back, or take it off in a whole new direction. If that resonates with 1 person, I have learned something. If it resonates with nobody, I have learned something.
Anyway - it really doesn't seem to matter much what's happening in my life, there are times when it's great and I want to shout it out. There are times when it's great and I just want to sit peacefully and enjoy every breath I take. There are times when I'm distraught and I want to commiserate and bitch and moan... and there are times when I'm distraught and I just want to sit peacefully and be distraught and shake and just try and be grateful one breath at a time.
That's why I post. If I come and go, it doesn't really mean so much. If I'm posting less here, often it's because I'm going to more F2F meetings. Or maybe I'm going to more F2F meetings AND posting more here, because I'm coming across new topics to participate in.
I love the program, and I love the medium. The two have BOTH been very important parts of my recovery. My sobriety date and the date I first connected to people on line are very close together. Probably not just a coincidence.
Bari - What a fascinating post. I agree with everything you said. I do love this medium, too, as it feels much to me like journaling - which I've done forever and do often. I find that many days I end up journaling here. Maybe people read and maybe they don't - that's really not the point. The point sometimes is to get others ESH - and sometimes it's just to purge the mess going on.
Frequently when I'm in a lot of confusion, I just read and absorb here. Then I collect some words and form a post.
I'm SO grateful to this board for being here - being understanding and supportive when things are upside down in my life, being honest with me, or simply "living and letting live" with me. Program people are like no other in the world. And being able to share by writing has been the most healing thing for me. F2f are wonderful and strengthening - but this medium is good because it allows me time to get my thoughts out and sometimes I can get feedback for days. Feedback that I can refer to weeks later if I need to "hear" something again.
I love your posts, Barisax, and when you recently started posting again I realized how much I missed you!
My answer to all your questions is "yes". I post when I feel joy, despair, hope, peace, made a discovery, get prompted by another.... I have found that by posting, I learn more about myself through the process of just writing it down, and then more by reading it over and over as I relate it to the responses I receive.
I wish I was able to respond more to others, and feel I get way more than I give here. I am always needing to "sneak" time on the computer during the day or get on late at night, so my responses usually are when I feel a connection and can respond with ease so that I can actually finish. Regardless, I try and read every thread, every post.
The great part is that I feel I am loved here regardless of the responses, and I care for everyone in return.
Thanks for the post, Barisax!
Blessings, Lou
__________________
Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
good solid post barisax, one of the things I love about all the posts is that they all sound pretty much the same after awhile (lol). I can find myself in there and find myself needing to post less and less. It creates a different day, same sh*t kind of effect which goes back to that old al anon saying of when nothing changes, nothing changes or the definition of insanity being doing the same thing and expecting different outcomes. When I find myself in a "loop" like this, I know what to do. I guess I post for all sorts of reasons- to share progress, look for support in failures, seek advice, etc. I like the fact that I can come here just as I am- cranky, happy, doubting, struggling, celebrating. I am accepted here just as I am- I love this about this program!! Hugs, J.
I post for all those reasons too. I come and read almost daily. It is my service to try to make sure I check in regularly esp to welcome newcomers. I reply a lot more than I post I think because I can most times find what I am thinking about in the posts already going and add my esh to the mix. I get so much out of just reading here especially since my small town only has 2 Al-Anon meetings and I have trouble getting to one of them.
I also value the look at the large picture of Al-Anon that I get here. Small town groups have a tendancy to make up their own rules and that can be ok, but I have learned a lot from the outside influence that I get here and I am very grateful for the 24 hour place to let my thoughts flow when they need to.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I post under just about any and every circumstance - good, bad, neutral. I respond to posts that I feel I can relate to, I start threads of my own based on varying reasons.
Same thing when I attend an Al-Anon meeting - whatever's going on in my life is most likely what's going to affect what I have to say at the meeting.
Some days I have ESH to share, others I just have a lot of BS to get off my chest.
In all seriousness, I view posting here in the same way as attending meetings... and as my sponsor told me: two or less meetings a week is for maintenance, three or more is for GROWTH. The more I post here and share with others the more I grow.
